Malcolm In The Middle Season 6 by Beverly Hills - Dailymotion

Beverly Hills

Malcolm In The Middle Season 6

Transcript

00:00I have no idea if a monkey could beat a squitter or a kangaroo in a knife fight.

00:06But if I admitted that, we'd have nothing to do for the rest of the day.

00:10Monkey!

00:30A motivation seminar for the whole weekend.

00:58Can you believe this?

01:00Like I need motivation.

01:02And they just told you about it today?

01:04They claim it was in some memo they sent me three months ago.

01:08So now suddenly my job includes weekend seminars and memo reading.

01:13Can they really force you to go?

01:14Lois, they can make you do anything.

01:17Once you sign up for a job in this country, you give away the whole kit and caboodle.

01:20Our weekends, our house, our kids.

01:23We don't own any of it.

01:26Okay, everybody, dinner.

01:27This is all just an exercise to remind the little man who's boss.

01:32They're just trying to motivate me to keep me in my place.

01:35To kill any dreams I might have of ever digging my way out.

01:40Oh, my God.

01:41It starts at nine?

01:43Sorry, I forgot how late it was.

01:47Why are your fingernails clean?

01:49Did you clean your fingernails?

01:51I thought I'd try it and it turns out I like it.

01:53It makes me feel good about myself.

01:55Well, that's enough of that.

01:56It's time for dinner.

01:57What a damn pack of dogs is in the garbage again.

02:05Go away, scat.

02:07You know why they like our trash?

02:09It's Jamie's dirty diapers.

02:11If he digested his food a little better, there wouldn't be so much for them to eat in there.

02:16Filthy, disgusting animals.

02:18You know, Mom, if you double back the trash, the dogs might not be able to smell it.

02:26Uh-oh.

02:27Reese just made the classic mistake of expressing an interest in something that Mom said.

02:32All right, Reese.

02:33Since you're so full of good ideas,

02:35why don't you be in charge of cleaning up the garbage from now on?

02:39If he just shuts up now, it might not get any worse.

02:42I don't see why it matters if some dogs dump a little garbage on a lawn.

02:46The backyard's a mess already.

02:47Oh, this is hard to watch.

03:01Get lost.

03:02Get out of here.

03:05Did you come back to laugh at me?

03:07You think you're so smart?

03:09I am a human being.

03:10I am probably smarter than the smartest dog that's ever lived.

03:14Now, shoo.

03:15Shoo.

03:19I've got a gun.

03:20You make one step and you're not getting it.

03:26Go away!

03:30Hey!

03:31This is mine!

03:32Give it back!

03:37Woo!

03:40Reese, where have you been all night?

03:48I started chasing these dogs, and it turned out they're really cool.

03:52We went to the park, and then we found a tennis ball.

03:55And I took it from Toffee, and then Toffee took it from me and gave it to Rusty.

03:59And then we drank some water, and then we turned over some trash cans.

04:02Then Lucky did this hilarious thing where he rubs his butt on the ground.

04:06I can't do it.

04:07So then we chased this cat that was all like, ah!

04:10Stupid cat.

04:11Then we stopped at 7-Eleven, and I went inside and had a Coke while they had some burritos

04:15at the dumpster.

04:17Spike ate his twice!

04:18Wait a minute.

04:20You spent the night in a dog pack?

04:22Yeah, so then there was these squirrels who were all like, we're up in a tree!

04:25You'll never get us!

04:26You're talking about them like they're friends.

04:29They're just animals.

04:30Well, I'm sorry that we're not like your friends sitting around all intellectual,

04:34disgusting multiplication.

04:38You can't get into bed like that.

04:39You stink.

04:40Hey, I got checked out pretty thoroughly in that department.

04:43I didn't hear any complaints.

04:44Every one of you is here because you're successful!

04:55Successful at letting yourself down!

04:58Nobody's better at settling, making excuses, shortchanging yourself and those who count on

05:06you.

05:07Congratulations!

05:14You all got here the exact same way, one step at a time.

05:23Postpone that dream.

05:25Reduce that goal.

05:27Just another year.

05:29Just another cookie.

05:32Now you tell yourself, it's good enough.

05:36It's not good enough!

05:38You think you can't help it, but you can!

05:40I'm going to tear away the nonsense, the dime store philosophies, the catchphrases, and

05:47bring out your inner viking!

05:52Scott Porter?

05:54It says here you'd rather not talk about your recent divorce.

05:58Sorry, I missed lunch.

06:07I was at the library and I forgot to look at the clock.

06:09Do you think I'm an idiot?

06:11Huh?

06:13Do you think I don't know where you've been?

06:16What do you mean?

06:17You think I wouldn't recognize the signs?

06:20Clean fingernails, good posture, cookie crumbs in your pockets.

06:24You're never hungry at dinner time.

06:27You're seeing another mom.

06:30I don't know what you're talking about.

06:32Don't lie to me!

06:36It's not what you think!

06:37Who is she?

06:38Why does that matter?

06:39Who is she?

06:43Mrs. Finnegan.

06:45It doesn't mean anything.

06:47A couple weeks ago, I stopped by her house and she had her iron out.

06:51She was just so nice.

06:53And there was cake!

06:56That'll be a long time before you get any cake around here.

06:59I wasn't expecting any.

07:01After everything I've sacrificed for you, all I've done,

07:05you come waltzing in here day after day,

07:07reeking of her fabric softener!

07:10Yes!

07:11I like fabric softener!

07:13Mrs. Finnegan doesn't mind taking a little time to stop the rinse cycle.

07:17And maybe it's nice to have someone who's got more to say to me than just

07:20clean your room, comb your hair,

07:22da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da.

07:26Do you love her?

07:29Of course not.

07:31It's just snacks.

07:33Oh, you like her snacks?

07:35You like filling up on her cookies.

07:40You know they're store-bought.

07:43That's beneath you, Mom.

07:44Doesn't feel good, does it?

07:54Well, you're not here to feel good.

07:56You're here to face the lies you tell yourself.

08:02You can stop.

08:04I think I'm at bottom now.

08:06You're not at bottom.

08:08I'll tell you when you're at bottom.

08:10You think you're fooling anybody with those vertical stripes?

08:13What are you, 30 pounds overweight?

08:15You might as well be a thousand pounds overweight.

08:19Is anyone in this room attracted to her?

08:22You want to know what you have to do, Angela?

08:36Oh, jeez.

08:47Really?

08:48I gotta go.

08:49I don't know.

09:02Oh, no, no.

09:32Angela?

09:42What do I do?

09:45Hey, come on.

09:49You know.

09:50Yes.

09:53You're right.

09:58I do know.

10:02Of course I know.

10:06Thank you!

10:10Oh, can you do me?

10:20Oh, who am I kidding?

10:36Guys, I need a night off. I've been out with you every night this week.

10:52They really want me to come.

10:56Reese, this is crazy.

10:59What could you possibly be getting out of this?

11:01You don't know how good it feels.

11:03You know where you stand with these guys.

11:06I've got Toffee and Jonesy under me, but I'm under Duke Chewy and Spike.

11:11Scout tried to cross the highway yesterday, so I moved up.

11:14And Lucky's totally the boss.

11:16There's no phonies.

11:17You know what a growl means and you know what a lick means.

11:20You're kidding yourself.

11:22You're not one of them.

11:24You're just jealous because I'm popular.

11:26Morning.

11:27Hi, honey.

11:28How was the seminar?

11:29Un-freaking-lievable.

11:30I haven't slept in 48 hours.

11:31The Viking guy had to leave suddenly, so I stepped in and started talking to people about

11:42their lives.

11:43And honey, I've got to tell you, I have wisdom.

11:47Nobody was more surprised than me, but I did so well, they have me leading motivational

11:52seminars for the next eight weekends.

11:54Wow.

11:55This is the beginning of something, Lois.

11:57The bosses are seeing me in a whole new light.

12:00Did they cross you off the probation list?

12:02In ink.

12:04Morning, son.

12:05Hi, Dad.

12:07Thanks, Mom.

12:09I called Mrs. Finnegan.

12:11You what?

12:12She knows I know.

12:14You're never seeing her again.

12:17I can't believe you told her we had an understanding.

12:23Morning.

12:24Reese, I need you to put your dirty clothes in the havard before you leave this morning.

12:28I already did it, Mom.

12:29You did?

12:30Why?

12:31I feel bad I haven't always pulled my weight around here.

12:34I mean, you're the leader.

12:35It's my place to respect you.

12:37Well, thank you, Reese.

12:43Hey.

12:44Good morning, Malcolm.

12:45There's money on the counter for your yearbook.

12:47I want to buy a yearbook.

12:48I don't want anything that will remind me I ever went to that stupid school.

12:51How can you say that?

12:53Being a part of a group is important.

12:55Don't you care about loyalty?

12:57I think loyalty is the most important thing there is.

12:59Well, I'm glad at least one of my sons knows something about that.

13:03Hey!

13:04What are you doing here?

13:05This isn't your house.

13:06You don't live here.

13:07We live here.

13:08This is our house.

13:09What do you want?

13:10Huh?

13:11What?

13:12What?

13:13What?

13:14What?

13:15What?

13:16What?

13:17What?

13:18What?

13:19What?

13:20What?

13:21What?

13:22What?

13:23What?

13:24What?

13:25What?

13:26What?

13:27What?

13:28What?

13:29What?

13:30You'll have to climb the ladder of achievement one rung at a time.

13:36You'll never reach the top if you don't start climbing.

13:40And when you reach the top, you realize that the journey never ends.

13:46Excuse me?

13:49Wow.

13:50What?

13:51What?

13:52What?

13:53What?

13:54What?

13:55Because at the top of the ladder, there's a car.

14:02The question is, will you be driving or just a passenger?

14:08Whenever you let somebody else drive, well, he might have errands to do.

14:13Where do you think he might stop?

14:19The dry cleaners?

14:21Very good.

14:24Where else?

14:26Drugstore?

14:27Yes.

14:30Where else?

14:31Tim?

14:33There's a place you can go to have your shoes treated so they won't develop a smell over time.

14:38Excellent.

14:41Okay, now.

14:44What does all this mean?

14:54It means nothing.

15:01It means nothing!

15:04This is what happens when you let somebody else drive the car.

15:08You've all got to be the drivers of your own car.

15:15And what do you do if the gas gauge says your tank is empty?

15:18Stop at a gas station?

15:20No!

15:21You keep driving!

15:23You don't let anything stop you.

15:26Let me hear some vroom!

15:28Vroom!

15:29You know!

15:30You know!

15:32Excuse me, Hal.

15:34I need to have a bathroom break.

15:36Need?

15:37Or want?

15:39I'd say need, Hal.

15:42I really have to go to the bathroom.

15:44So this is something none of us feel we can overcome?

15:51This has us beat.

15:53Well then, we can put our work here aside and all go to the bathroom.

15:57Only there's no bathroom in the car!

16:06Hey, Mom.

16:07Here's your lunch.

16:09Mmm, meatloaf sandwich.

16:12Oh, morning, dear!

16:21Mwah!

16:22Oh, honey, it feels so good to be helping people take control of their lives.

16:27Milton, in accounting, called me from the Motel 6 this morning.

16:31He had to leave his wife and kids.

16:33But as soon as the Ice Capades reads his script, he's moving the whole family to New York.

16:38What are you doing?

16:39Oh, I keep trying and trying to get Jamie to use the potty, but he keeps refusing.

16:43Those stupid parenting books say to put stickers all over it and make it a happy place, so I figured why not?

16:49I obviously don't know anything about raising children.

16:54Damn it!

16:56What's wrong with these boys?

16:58Honey, let me handle this.

17:00You are a superstar!

17:01You're not afraid of this potty!

17:02This potty is afraid of you!

17:03You have to visualize your success!

17:04Now, let's look at the five lies you tell yourself that prevent you from being all that you can be!

17:21Oh, hell!

17:31Reese, where have you been?

17:36Why weren't you in school today?

17:38A pack from another neighborhood was sniffing around trying to move into our territory,

17:42meaning the boys had a score to settle.

17:44You were out fighting with dogs?

17:47What is wrong with you?

17:49Is that a bite mark on your leg?

17:51This little crazy guy went to toffee!

17:53Oh, man!

17:54Then you and Angel went down!

17:56So we brought down a couple of bears!

17:58Tip for tap, baby!

18:00Oh, we're gonna sell this no matter what it costs!

18:05It's gonna go on and on to the bitter end!

18:22They need me!

18:28120, 140, 160, 180.

18:33That'll have to do.

18:35I'm giving you a good deal, kid.

18:37I didn't get in this business so I could rip off little children.

18:43Hey, you need a gun?

18:48Let's hear from some more who aren't afraid!

18:52I'm gonna be vice president in two years!

18:56Hey, come on!

18:58He knows!

19:00I'm gonna get out of debt!

19:02Yeah!

19:04Hey, he knows!

19:06I'm gonna have sex with a member of every race!

19:11All right!

19:13All right!

19:14Now, let's see who's next up.

19:17Jerry, is there a Jerry Morrison in the house?

19:21Oh, Jerry, it says here that you turned down a promotion four times.

19:27Four times!

19:29Lady Luck smiles, but you give her the old stink eye, Jerry.

19:33What's going on?

19:34I guess I'm just frightened.

19:36I mean, I'm good at what I do now, and if I start trying to move up the ladder, I'll probably let everyone else down.

19:44Jerry, did you know that Michael Jordan didn't even see a basketball until he was 30 years old?

19:53What?

19:54No, no, I didn't know that.

19:57Who tied your tie this morning, Jerry?

20:00I did?

20:01Somebody just came in, pulled up your pants, shaved your face, combed back that lovely head of hair?

20:06No, I did it all myself.

20:08You did it all by yourself!

20:13You were in charge this morning, Jerry, but somehow, when you walked out that door, you let the world take over.

20:21Why did you do that?

20:23I don't know.

20:24Well, I do know, Jerry.

20:29It's because you denied the giant that's inside you!

20:35You two, get down on your hands and knees.

20:38I actually have a bad back.

20:40Is that your back talking or your mind?

20:44I see, it's my doctor.

20:46Or your doctor's mind.

20:47You tell your back, it takes orders from you now.

20:58Climb on top, Jerry.

21:00What?

21:01Climb on top like the giant you are!

21:06Okay.

21:10I think my back is...

21:11A bridge of steel!

21:12How does it feel, Giant Jerry?

21:15Tall.

21:17Huh?

21:19Damn tall!

21:21All your life, you've been letting people call the shots for you.

21:24Well, no more!

21:26Today is the day!

21:27You're a giant, Giant Jerry!

21:32The world looks better from up here!

21:35You bet it does!

21:36And that's where you live now!

21:38So what are you going to do, Giant Jerry?

21:42I'm gonna take that promotion, and I'm gonna become head of systems management!

21:47I'm in systems management!

21:48Damn right you are!

21:49And I'm gonna take you off these seminars, and I'm gonna put you on my team full time!

22:03And I'm gonna work that department, and I'm gonna work it until it's the strongest one in the whole company!

22:09And I'm gonna push my workers until they've given me everything that they've got!

22:15And then they can all say goodbye to their families, cause I'm driving straight to the top!

22:20Man!

22:21That was amazing!

22:22They won't be leaving any more messages on our side of the park!

22:23Where are we going now, Lucky?

22:24Huh?

22:25Lucky, where are you leading us?

22:26Lucky, where are you leading us?

22:27Really?

22:28Man, that was amazing!

22:39They won't be leaving any more messages on our side of the park.

22:43Where are we going now, Lucky?

22:44Lucky, huh?

22:49Lucky, where are you leading us?

22:56Really?

22:58You guys mean it?

23:08All right, I won't let you guys down.

23:11Let's roll!

23:19You found him in a chicken coop?

23:22Well, that's hard to know exactly what happened, ma'am.

23:25He and his friends appeared to have had themselves quite a little party.

23:29They just don't train you to handle a scene like that.

23:33The law's a little murky in this area, but when we figure out how to charge him,

23:38I'll be back.

23:39I never thought about how it would end.

23:52It just felt so cool to belong.

23:55The important thing is you're out.

23:57But my boys...

23:57They rounded us all up.

24:02Then these vets came in.

24:06And one by one, they'd kill them?

24:09No.

24:10But they're not my boys anymore.

24:17Mom?

24:18Dewey?

24:20I want to talk.

24:21I really don't feel up to that right now.

24:25I know I hurt you, and I'm very sorry.

24:29Thank you, Dewey.

24:30But words are cheap.

24:33I wanted to do something that would show you I'm committed to this relationship.

24:38I want you to know how much you mean to me.

24:41I want you to know that no one can take your place.

24:49I'm going back Tuesday.

24:51I passed out before they colored in the drop shadow.

24:55It's not that I don't appreciate you.

24:57We are going down to the hospital, and you're going to have that lasered off right there.

25:05Okay.

25:06I know you're trying to...

25:09But what is wrong with...

25:12Oh, I never imagined you'd be willing to...

25:18But that is so stupid.

25:21Oh, look.

25:23They made a heart.

25:27You were not who you're like, you know?

25:28You were like, what?

25:29I want you to love them.

25:29They didn't?

25:30Well, I need to be honest to you.

25:32Anyway, I'm sorry.

25:36I hate you.

25:37But what is wrong with a dog?

25:38Well, you don't know who was wrong today.

25:41But that was great for us.

25:43Yeah.

25:44I'm going out of that.

25:45I got you.

25:46That's good for you.

25:47But that's it.

25:47It's a pretty bad buy new ride.

25:49It's pretty bad.

25:52I know you can read it on show and subscribe.

25:54I know you sold them on show now.

25:54I'll wear it on my.

25:55Oh, my God.

Malcolm In The Middle Season 6 Episode 19 Motivational Seminar

Category

Transcript

Malcolm In The Middle Season 6

Recommended