- 5/9/2025
Malcolm In The Middle Season 6 Episode 17 Butterflies
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TVTranscript
00:00Yeah, trail mix.
00:13Good movie.
00:14Yeah!
00:30Repeat the question.
00:33You're not the boss of me now!
00:39You're not the boss of me now!
00:43And you're not so big!
00:57Usually I spend every minute on a lucky eight cursing mom for making me work here.
01:09But lately it doesn't seem so bad.
01:15I'm not sure why.
01:17Malcolm, you were right.
01:18I put a greasy bag in the fridge and Craig put his name on it.
01:21Yeah, the only way to protect anything is to put it in a nonfat yogurt carton.
01:25That's brilliant.
01:27Wait, you got something.
01:30Thanks.
01:32She didn't have anything.
01:33So hey, it turns out I don't have to go with my parents to Yosemite over spring break.
01:38So I guess you'll be in town then, huh?
01:40Looks like it.
01:41You know, me too. Maybe we can...
01:42Malcolm, your break doesn't start for another two minutes.
01:45Wendy, your break is over now.
01:48That's why orphans get all the hot girls.
01:52Oh, God. I've got graveyard shift for the next two weeks.
01:55I don't know. I had any joy left in my life to be sucked out.
02:00I guess you're going to have to take the bus to work, Malcolm.
02:02You're going to be on your own.
02:05Great. Figures.
02:06If I can bite through my tongue until my teeth meet, maybe Mom won't see me smile.
02:11All right. Here's Jamie's schedule for the next two weeks. He needs about 6, 8, and before he goes to bed.
02:23We talked about Jamie's schedule. I want to talk about our schedule.
02:29We already talked about that schedule.
02:31I know, but I like coming home for lunch to be a special treat, not just for my survival.
02:37Well, I'm not happy about it either, but working graveyard is just part of the job.
02:41Have you told Malcolm you're making him do it with you?
02:43Two days ago.
03:04What are you so happy about?
03:10Nothing. I've just never had the whole bed to myself before.
03:14You stay off my side of the bed. I don't care if I'm not there.
03:18Okay.
03:18And stop smiling.
03:21Okay.
03:21The only bright spot in all this is that Reese has an even crappier spring break job than I do.
03:35You didn't do too bad today, kid.
03:37Because that possum got up your pant leg. You were way ahead.
03:41So, he didn't have rabies, did he?
03:44No. No, no, no. He checked out fine.
03:47Say, uh, you've got to be able to sit up soon, because we're almost at your house.
03:54These fumes are kind of strong.
03:56Can I get one of those paper masks next time?
03:58Do I look like I'm made of money?
04:05You got a different kind of job tomorrow.
04:09What's this?
04:11That's a thousand caterpillars.
04:12Tomorrow morning, get up before dawn.
04:14I want you to go around the neighborhood, sprinkle loads in the rose bushes, flower beds, front lawns.
04:21And then I want you to take my business card and drop it in the mailbox.
04:25You understand?
04:26Why do you sound very far away?
04:30Don't go to sleep for a while.
04:31It sucks you have to work the night shift.
04:42Now you're going to miss the party.
04:43Debbie's parents are out of town.
04:46Probably won't miss much.
04:48It's just the same boring people doing the same boring stuff.
04:52Whoa, why got to run?
04:53Skinny dipping starts at midnight.
05:00Hey, Malcolm.
05:01At what age do you just accept that your life is a piece of rotten garbage and always will be?
05:06Twenty-two.
05:07But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the heck out of every moment.
05:11Take tonight.
05:12You're in for a real treat.
05:13There's a different rhythm to the night shift.
05:18It's a camaraderie.
05:19A brotherhood of kindred souls.
05:21A nocturnal fraternity of the prowlers of the inky netherworld.
05:26Hello, fellow traveler.
05:27Where's the toothpaste?
05:28I'm on a break.
05:29Make sure all the pens are capsized up with the pocket clip facing forward.
05:36This is the benefit of graveyard shift.
05:38You don't have all that chaos that goes on during the daytime.
05:41You can get things organized the way they're meant to be.
05:43You're just trying to torture me.
05:45That's why I'm here.
05:46Just admit it.
05:47You're here because you need the money.
05:49I gave you three quarters of my paycheck.
05:51That's why you need the money.
05:55That's weird.
05:56Did you see anyone?
05:57What?
05:58Someone left a candy wrapper and change on the county here, but nobody's been in the store for hours.
06:03There's probably a mouse.
06:05A mouse that left the exact change?
06:06I played tic-tac-toe with a chicken at the county fair, and it beat me eight times in a row.
06:13So, don't shortchange animals.
06:17I didn't see anyone, though.
06:20Never mind.
06:21Wait, aren't you even curious how that happened?
06:25Malcolm, everything doesn't have to be fascinating.
06:27Now, I know it looks like the guy in the hockey mask is dead, right?
06:35But just keep your eye on that coffin.
06:39Hold it!
06:41Why aren't you at work?
06:43I don't want to hear that you're too good to crawl under houses poisoning rats all day.
06:47There are ten guys with NBAs who would love to have that job.
06:51I didn't quit.
06:53I showed up this morning, and the cops were there.
06:55It turns out Mr. Cryjack was renting out his gas tanks for parties.
06:59Now I have to dump this stupid box of caterpillars.
07:01For free!
07:05Have a nice death, puss bags.
07:08Hey!
07:09Get off me!
07:13Oh.
07:14A tough guy, huh?
07:17Hey.
07:18Cut it out, that tickles.
07:25Craig, did you do this?
07:47Do what?
07:48Those vitamins that were recalled.
07:50Did you clear up the shelf?
07:52Doesn't sound like me.
07:54Six coats of wax, and I buttered up my socks.
07:57The record's going down.
08:00You know, things have been getting really weird around here.
08:04I mean, think about it.
08:06Last night, all the clocks in the display case were synchronized to the same time.
08:10And the night before that, all the fingerprints were cleaned off the freezer doors.
08:14Malcolm, I think you're forgetting the graveyard shift motto.
08:18Who cares?
08:19Does it matter if no one else knows?
08:33You know.
08:38Okay.
08:40Dewey gets the pancakes and eggs.
08:42And Lois has the veal parmesan.
08:46Oh, look at you, Jamie.
08:49You have changed so much in just a week.
08:51Your head's almost symmetrical.
08:53You better eat up.
08:54Don't you need to be in bed before I go to work?
08:56Honey, I'm spending some time with my son, who I've barely seen in the last week.
09:00You've got 18 years for that.
09:03I'm only asking for 10 minutes.
09:04You've got to be in bed before I go to work.
09:07Wow.
09:07Another great night's sleep.
09:11No fighting for blankets, no elbows in my face, or anything worse.
09:17Just all the room in the world.
09:19Don't freak out when you get into your side of the bed.
09:23It looks bad, but most of it's only a moon pie.
09:26Did you know that the Latin name for this little guy is Daneus Plexippus?
09:30And that he actually crawls out of his own skin to pupate?
09:33Then the outer layer hardens into the chrysalis.
09:36That's Greek for golden.
09:37And once they turn into butterflies, they can migrate up to 2,000 miles.
09:42Pretty awesome, huh?
09:43Oh, got to feed them some more milkweed.
09:49Wow.
09:50That's the first time I've ever seen Reese take a concerned interest in another living thing.
09:55It's kind of nice to know he's got a compassionate side.
09:58I want those revolting bugs in the trash by tomorrow morning.
10:06Craig, take a look at this.
10:09If you don't mind, I'm trying to get in a quick nap before my break.
10:13Seriously, check out this guy.
10:17He's here.
10:18And then two hours later...
10:20He's still there, only in a different outfit.
10:26And three hours later, he shows up again in another outfit.
10:37Whoa!
10:38Did you see that?
10:39Malcolm, please!
10:41If I don't get my 16 hours, I'm a bear!
10:45He doesn't want to sign your 16 hours, he's holding on a dream!
10:45Go!
10:46Heviolent, he's holding on a dream!
10:47Oh boy!
10:48Don't put him on a dream!
10:50Don't put him on a dream!
10:51Don't let him do that...
10:51You're���ing!
10:52Don't let him use another car!
10:55Here it is!
11:02Okay, I'm trying to play your 15 hours later...
11:04Wait here!
11:05That's the flashback on as you later?
11:07Oh crap!
11:07What happened now?
11:08Could you say that was a good villain?
11:10It happened to me not even before...
11:11Like, what happened to you?
11:11...
11:15What are you doing in there?
11:32Shopping.
11:33You're not shopping.
11:35You're the guy from the videotape.
11:41You're living here?
11:43Malcolm, please.
11:43Your mom's going to hear us.
11:45How do you know my name?
11:46How do you know my mom?
11:48I've been here for a while.
11:50And you were right about moving the tortilla chips to the salsa aisle.
11:54The sales were up at least 15%.
11:56I knew it.
11:57Wait.
11:59How long's a while?
12:00Three years.
12:01In January.
12:03I was going to move over to Footcare, but once you get unpacked, it's...
12:07You've been living in this store for three years?
12:09Are you crazy?
12:10I don't know.
12:12I just...
12:13Malcolm, I had this super high-pressure job.
12:18People were constantly hounding me for answers, decisions, budgets, signatures.
12:24My nerves were a total wreck.
12:25I was wandering around here, waiting for my Xanax refill, my cell phone and Blackberry both going off, and I saw this crack.
12:34And I decided to hide in there, and I decided to hide in there, just for a few minutes, and it was fantastic.
12:44I didn't want to leave, and then I didn't, and no one noticed, so I just stayed.
12:54You never left this store in all that time?
12:58I mean, you guys are pretty well stocked here.
13:00Lots of canned goods, toiletries.
13:02Every day, I clean a different third of my body in the bathroom sink.
13:07But you can't just live here.
13:09Why not?
13:09I pay for everything I use.
13:12I help out whenever I can.
13:13I clean spills.
13:14I change light bulbs.
13:15I have saved Craig's life at least five times.
13:18You're not going to tell on me, are you?
13:21I don't know.
13:22What about Wendy?
13:24I know you like her, and I can help you.
13:28I see her all the time.
13:30I overhear her conversations.
13:32I know everything about her.
13:34Like why she broke up with her last boyfriend.
13:37Why?
13:38Will you let me stay?
13:42Yeah, all right.
13:44Okay, so I'm entrusting my love life to a burned-out hermit who lives behind a ball case.
13:48It doesn't make me a desperate loser.
13:52I'm doing it anyway.
13:58Okay, Reese.
13:59Shh.
13:59Dan, they're pubating.
14:01They need peace and quiet where they're developing their delicateness.
14:04We've got to dump the bugs.
14:05What?
14:06Sorry, your mother wants them gone.
14:08No, you can't do this.
14:10They never hurt anyone.
14:11They have no protection.
14:12No one to watch over them.
14:15Oh, crap.
14:16I'm too late.
14:17You bonded with them, didn't you?
14:20Well, welcome to my world.
14:23Now you're stuck with feelings of unjustified love for a bunch of mindless, ungrateful eating machines.
14:30See how you like it.
14:32At least yours will be dead in a month.
14:35Then I can keep them?
14:36Throw them under the tarp with the playboys.
14:38Listen, and you better be a sullen jerk to me in front of your mother so she doesn't get wise.
14:42You got that?
14:49Go on.
14:50Okay.
14:51I overheard her on the phone saying she's sick of guys who play games.
14:57She says she just wants someone who's honest and straightforward.
15:00That's great.
15:01I'm totally honest and straightforward.
15:03Actually, you're more like blunt and aggressive.
15:06Look, that's okay.
15:07You just got to slow down.
15:09Give yourself a chance.
15:10She spent 22 minutes and 18 seconds looking through Hallmark cards.
15:15She needs to be treated gently.
15:17There's some stuff she likes.
15:19Movies, music, shampoo brands, paper towels.
15:24Some of it's more useful than others, but burn it all.
15:27When the time's right, you can show her how much you have in common with her.
15:31Thanks.
15:31This is great.
15:32Who are you talking to?
15:33Um, I was just singing.
15:38Thanks.
15:38This is great.
15:39As long as we're together, girl.
15:42Yeah.
15:44In my car.
15:47I want you to know something.
15:50I've been sleeping in that bed by myself for a week.
15:53A week without sharing covers.
15:55A week without being smashed.
15:58And a week without having anyone's butt shoved into my face.
16:02So, what are you angry about?
16:03Because during the last week, I've grown half an inch.
16:07You lied to me.
16:09I'm not the smallest kid in my class for my genetics.
16:12It's because I've been stuffed into a bed with Malcolm all my life.
16:16Ooh, you don't know that.
16:18Could be all the crap we feed you.
16:20Or the chemical plant near the park.
16:22Dad!
16:23Do we?
16:23I'm sorry.
16:24But we can't afford to buy you your own bed.
16:27You'll just have to grow after Malcolm goes off to college.
16:30Oh, no.
16:31Then Jamie's going into it.
16:33Well, at least you'll always be bigger than he is.
16:43Yesterday, I passed Winnie at the time clock and casually mentioned how I like the smell of bookstores.
16:48She was so charmed.
16:50I don't even care how stupid that is.
16:51All right, what's going on?
16:53What are you talking about?
16:55You haven't complained about one thing in the last week.
16:58The only time you don't complain is when you're hiding something from me.
17:01I'm not hiding anything from you.
17:03Malcolm, there you are.
17:04Remember last week when you were trying to figure out how that spill got cleaned up?
17:08No.
17:08But remember those vitamins getting pulled from the shelf and the ice cream case getting cleaned and those socks being left out to dry and all those other things that seemed like they were happening by themselves?
17:18Not now, Craig.
17:19I figured it out.
17:20I know what's going on.
17:22The store is haunted.
17:25Craig.
17:25All right, what's in this bag?
17:27Nothing.
17:28I'm restocking.
17:28Fresh fruit?
17:32A package of all-cotton underwear?
17:36A decent book?
17:38We don't sell this stuff.
17:40Okay, fine.
17:42If you must know, I was restocking my locker.
17:45I've been having intense stomach problems, and that's what the fruit is for, and the underwear, and sadly the book, too.
17:52And now that you've publicly humiliated me, can I go about my business?
17:58Okay, not bad.
18:03It's plausible, embarrassing enough for the outburst, and essentially unprovable.
18:08I just have to stand my ground.
18:09Attention, lucky aide trespasser.
18:36Father, you do not get to do this.
18:39You do not get to live off the grid.
18:42If anyone on the planet was entitled to hide from all the aggravation, it would be me.
18:46But I don't.
18:47Do you understand?
18:49No one gets to shirk their share of the misery.
18:52Everyone has to be stuck in this together.
18:55That's what's fair.
18:56Those are the rules.
18:58Now, you obviously know me, so you know what I'm willing to do to find you.
19:02So save us both the time, and come out now.
19:19Let me handle this.
19:21Do you know anything about a guy living in the store?
19:39No!
19:39No, Reese.
19:51You're not coming in here with those.
19:52But they'll freeze to death out there!
19:55I'm sorry, son.
19:56I already promised your mom I would get rid of them.
19:59And I have four or five other lies in the fire I can't jeopardize.
20:03The bugs stay outside.
20:05Fine.
20:07Then I'll fight you for it!
20:10Reese, you already fought me for the last English muffin two weeks ago, and I cleaned your clock.
20:15But this time, I'm fighting for something I love even more than those muffins!
20:19Keep your voice down.
20:20You're going to wake Jamie.
20:21Good!
20:22I want him to hear what kind of heartless monster his father really is.
20:26Come on, old man.
20:27Let's go.
20:29All right.
20:29But if I throw my back out again, beating you up, I am going to kick the crap out of you!
20:34Well, the police are on their way.
20:48Three years you've been living here.
20:51Unbelievable!
20:52Didn't you once give me the Heimlich maneuver in Snacks and Nuts?
20:56You've got to learn to chew.
20:59Easier said, my friend.
21:01Mom, can't you just let him go?
21:04He didn't even really do anything wrong.
21:06He paid for everything he took.
21:08He helped out around the store.
21:10The guy's just living here.
21:11What's wrong with that?
21:12I could just disappear.
21:14Go to the Walmart down the block.
21:16I've heard great things about them.
21:17He broke the rules, Malcolm.
21:20The rules matter.
21:22Rules say we get paid time and a half for the graveyard shift.
21:25The rules say trespassers are dealt with by the police.
21:28You can't just pick and choose what rules you want to follow or the whole system breaks down.
21:33But, Malcolm, I'm sorry.
21:35But as long as I'm working here, I can't bend the rules for anyone.
21:427.30.
21:43Shift's over.
21:45What are you doing?
21:46I'm off the clock.
21:47I'm going home.
21:48Everybody else can do whatever they want.
21:50But they better do it quick.
21:54They don't have a lot of time.
22:03For what?
22:04Great.
22:07She lets that guy walk, but makes a federal case whenever I put my phone number in with
22:11the birth control pills.
22:15Hey, Malcolm.
22:16Oh.
22:17Hey, Wendy.
22:17Did you get the blue irises that I sent you?
22:19Yeah, I did.
22:21How did you know those were my favorite flowers?
22:24Well, you know, I guess we just really have a lot in common.
22:28Like loving grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches and Stephen King books.
22:31I wouldn't be surprised if you were a big Coldplay fan, too.
22:37What the hell are you doing?
22:39Following me around?
22:40Are you stalking me?
22:42No.
22:43No, no.
22:44I guess we're just really in sync.
22:46Is that so weird?
22:47I mean, sometimes two people...
22:48You stay away from me, creep.
22:55Don't worry, buddy.
22:57Even I get that sometimes.
23:01Dad, the toilet lid was up and Jamie's tongue is blue again.
23:14Did you spend all night out there?
23:18My choice.
23:19It's very bracing out there.
23:21Now, why don't you help me into the shower and see if we can't save your dad's toes.
23:39Oh, my God.
23:41Winston, is that you?
23:43I thought you were going to look totally kissy, Butterfly, but you look amazing.
23:54Harv?
23:56And Julio!
23:58I need to be one of the first.
24:01You're always the head of the class.
24:02This is fantastic!
24:09Look at all of you guys!
24:14Wow.
24:16I forgot how many of you there were.
24:21Okay.
24:22That's a lot of fluttering.
24:25That's enough.
24:26Get off of me!
24:34Get the hell off of me!
24:36Get off of me!
24:45Good news.
24:48Wendy's restraining order has been reduced from 100 feet to 50 feet.
24:52If I can yell loud enough, I think I can straighten this out.
24:57We have to go back.
24:58You coming home for lunch?
25:00And coffee break.
25:05Oh, no!
25:07No!
25:09Okay.
25:10One more week, then that joke's off limits.
25:22Go by.
25:30One more week, then you want to call me the Happy problèmes podcast.
25:41Oh, no!
25:44We'll see you in the next stage.
25:48You come home.
25:48Bye.
25:49Bye.
25:50Bye.
25:51Bye.
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