- 5/9/2025
Malcolm In The Middle Season 6 Episode 15 Chad's Sleepover
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TVTranscript
00:00It's still not strong enough.
00:03What about the old boot that Possum gave birth in?
00:06It's on the garage.
00:07Perfect!
00:14All yours.
00:18Yes, no, maybe.
00:22I don't know.
00:25Can you repeat the question?
00:29You're not the boss of me now.
00:32You're not the boss of me now.
00:35You're not the boss of me now.
00:37And you're not so big.
00:40You're not the boss of me now.
00:43You're not the boss of me now.
00:46You're not the boss of me now.
00:48And you're not so big.
00:53Life is unfair.
00:59I'm sorry, I'm lazy. My alarm clock didn't go up, and then there was an accident, and road workers, and...
01:10Where is everybody?
01:12Well, it's ditch day. None of the students came in.
01:15No one told me there was a ditch day.
01:18Well, I'm surprised you didn't hear. I mean, everyone was telling their friends.
01:25Oh.
01:29All right, Charisse, the professor of boozeology has some homework for you.
01:36What's he doing here?
01:38No one told him.
01:41Oh, my God.
01:44You could probably use a little...
01:46Val, stop that.
01:49Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
01:53What?
01:54You are gonna die.
01:56What is it?
01:57I always say that gossip rots your soul, but it doesn't count when it's this good.
02:02Last night, I covered for Bernice so she could leave early, and when she got home, she found Charlie standing in their living room wearing her red cocktail dress.
02:11The one from the Christmas party with all the feathers.
02:15Good God.
02:17He admitted it's been going on for years.
02:19He said it started one day when he accidentally used lipstick instead of chapstick.
02:23The next thing you knew, he is wearing a Teddy under his police uniform.
02:28Man is a complicated beast.
02:30Can you imagine keeping something like that from your spouse?
02:37So glad we don't have any secrets.
02:39What?
02:41Oh.
02:42Oh, my God.
02:43Oh.
02:44Oh.
02:46Oh.
02:47Oh.
02:50Oh, oh.
02:51Oh, oh.
02:54Oh.
02:56Oh, oh.
02:57There's no way in there.
03:27There's no way in there.
03:56I spent more than $50 on your last birthday present.
04:10I know we agreed not to, but I just love you so much.
04:13Well, I'm glad you told me.
04:19Felt good to come clean.
04:21Dad, can I have a sleepover tomorrow?
04:31Somebody wants a sleepover?
04:33Here?
04:33That's fantastic!
04:35Who?
04:36Chad, from my class.
04:38Oh, jeez, Dewey.
04:39I don't think that's a good idea.
04:40That kid is really...
04:41He's fine.
04:43He's just a little strange.
04:45Nothing to be scared of.
04:46Well, it's not anything to be taken lightly, either.
04:49That boy has a lot of serious issues.
04:52I don't think you know what you're getting into.
04:54Yes, I do.
04:55I also know people treat him like a freak for no reason.
04:59Even his parents have given up on him.
05:01They're just looking for an excuse to have him institutionalized.
05:05This is supposed to be convincing me?
05:07Dad, I want to prove that he can do normal stuff like a normal kid and have a normal life.
05:12No means no, Dewey.
05:14No doesn't always mean no.
05:15This isn't PG movie, no.
05:18This is Speargun, no.
05:20Dad, listen.
05:23I never ask for anything, but I'm asking you to do this for me.
05:28It's important.
05:30I'm sorry, Dewey, but I know a little bit more about this than you do.
05:35And you ask for things all the time.
05:41So where'd you go today?
05:43Oh, man, it was fantastic.
05:44Went down to the pet store, fed a bunch of the pets to the other pets.
05:49Ended up at the supermarket where I squeezed all the Wonder Bread into balls so the manager threw me out.
05:54I left a little present in his convertible.
05:57Well, it was somebody's convertible.
06:00You couldn't have bothered to tell me about Ditch Day?
06:03There was a Ditch Day?
06:04Yeah, today.
06:07No one told me.
06:09Why didn't they tell me?
06:11Because no one likes us, Reese.
06:13No one.
06:14Everybody else was told about it.
06:16Even that slow kid who ate cat litter for a dollar.
06:19Gucky?
06:20How did Gucky get so popular?
06:22It's not that he's popular.
06:24It's that we're unpopular.
06:25Guess who's getting a treat?
06:38That's right.
06:39It's you, Mr. Boy.
06:41In this house, whenever anybody is good for three whole days in a row, they get one of Mama's extra-special fruit smoothies.
06:49I have never made one before.
06:52Hmm.
06:52Hmm.
06:54Oh, this is outrageous!
06:59What's the matter?
07:05The blender is broken!
07:06The blender is broken!
07:07There's no excuse for this!
07:08Well, honey, we have had it since before Dewey was born.
07:12I don't care.
07:13They said a lifetime guarantee!
07:15A lifetime is not ten or eleven years.
07:19Hell, if they want to say a ten or eleven year guarantee, that's fine.
07:23I'll make my blender buying decisions accordingly, but they said lifetime.
07:28I'm getting my money back.
07:29Or a blender of equal or greater value.
07:31Well, how are you going to find the warranty from ten years ago?
07:34I'm sure it's with the rest of the papers in the garage.
07:36Oh, honey, you'll never find it out there.
07:39I mean, what did this cost?
07:40Nineteen dollars?
07:41That's what they want you to say!
07:43That's why they don't charge more!
07:45That's how they get you!
07:47Are you expecting somebody?
07:51Ah, yeah, it's Chad. He's sleeping over tonight.
07:55Dewey's having a sleepover?
07:57Yeah, we didn't have any plans. I thought it'd be nice.
08:00Dewey, your friend's here!
08:05Hold on.
08:07I told you no, and you went behind my back and tricked your mother into letting you have this sleepover?
08:14I just told her it'd be a nice thing to do for a kid who doesn't have many nice things in his life.
08:19If you call that a trick, then, yeah.
08:23You don't have to freak out. I know how to handle Chad.
08:26You can't believe everything you read in the special needs bulletin.
08:29They only say that stuff to get extra funding.
08:32That is not the point!
08:34Dewey, I made myself very clear. I told you no.
08:37And you snuck around my back to your mother as if nothing I said had any imp...
08:41Hello there! You must be Chad's parents.
08:44Yes, I'm Lloyd. And this is Evelyn.
08:47Evelyn.
08:48And this...
08:50God! Where did he go?
08:52I watched him from the car to the door.
08:54Do I have to do everything?
08:56Excuse me.
08:58Thank you for inviting me.
09:00Hi, Chad. Hey, Dewey.
09:02We want to thank you for doing this.
09:08I think it's wonderful the boys are getting together.
09:11Big books go on the bottom shelf.
09:13What did we tell you about touching their things?
09:16Are you trying to prove that you can't go out in public?
09:19This is your last chance. Do you understand me, buddy?
09:22This is your last chance!
09:24Well, I do something!
09:26You do something. The gene was on your egg.
09:28Oh, yeah. It's completely my fault. Now can we go to dinner?
09:34At bedtime. These straps are for his arms, and these are for his legs.
09:40If you wind up needing to use the harness, make sure he doesn't take a big breath in when you're fastening the buckles.
09:45Otherwise, he can wriggle out and the whole thing is useless.
09:48Completely useless.
09:50Say goodbye to your parents, Chad.
09:52Goodbye.
09:53Here's a list of emergency numbers.
09:56Don't try 9-1-1. They're not qualified.
10:09Maybe they meant to tell us.
10:11They just forgot.
10:13They didn't forget.
10:15How could the whole school snub us like this?
10:18Don't they realize how much this hurts?
10:21They don't care.
10:23There are people in this world that are just plain evil.
10:26And every single person at that school is one of those people.
10:30No.
10:31We can't do this.
10:33We can't keep blaming everybody else whenever something like this happens.
10:37It can't be an accident that you and I alienate so many people.
10:40We're never going to make our lives better if we keep pretending they are the problem.
10:49Then what do we do?
10:51Well, I mean if we really want to figure this out, maybe we need to look at ourselves honestly.
11:01You're right.
11:03What's wrong with us?
11:05Well, some parts are easy.
11:06I mean, you're a ruthlessly brutal thug.
11:09I have my moods.
11:11And look how it was my first impulse to criticize you.
11:14It just shows what a pompous ass I am.
11:17I do seem to cause a lot of needless suffering.
11:19I usually assume that people are my enemy.
11:22I have this need to show off.
11:24It's not enough that I know more than everyone.
11:26I have to make sure they know I know more.
11:29Why do I do that?
11:30Don't ask me.
11:31I know less than everyone.
11:33When I walk into a room, it seems like everybody's talking about things that I could never understand.
11:38And when they laugh, I'm always sure that they're laughing at me.
11:43Maybe we're both afraid.
11:46We're afraid people won't like us.
11:49That's why I show off how smart I am and that's why you hit people.
11:53We're scared of being rejected, so we act in a way that pushes people away.
11:59Oh man.
12:01It's the thing that we hate the most and yet we keep making it happen again and again.
12:06We're so stupid and pathetic.
12:12Or they're jealous.
12:14Yeah, totally jealous.
12:17I mean they see us and they don't want to face that they're all jealous,
12:21so they make us act all angry and superior.
12:24They're in denial.
12:26I am really glad we did this.
12:41Ralph can't go next to Smooth.
12:44This is exactly what I talked about, Dewey.
12:48He's gone through practically everything in the house.
12:50He taped my ties to my shirts.
12:53So the house gets straightened up.
12:55Wouldn't that be horrible?
12:56Don't you trivialize this.
12:58You're in enough trouble already.
12:59I'm telling you.
13:00Once he settles down, this is going to be a perfectly normal sleepover.
13:04We're going to play a board game.
13:06We're going to watch a video.
13:08We're going to have pizza.
13:09No pizza.
13:10I'm already defrosting hamburgers.
13:12But I promised Chad pizza.
13:14He really likes pizza.
13:16No pizza, Dewey.
13:18You are on thin ice as it is.
13:20From now on you are going to do exactly as I say.
13:23Is that understood?
13:24Yes, Dad, I got it.
13:26Now can I go play with my friend?
13:31Where'd he go?
13:32You'll see a lot of this in life, Jamie.
13:36The big blender companies don't think we're smart enough to save warranties.
13:40They think we run around barefoot all day picking bugs off ourselves.
13:44Well, they are in for a big surprise.
13:49They designed their products specifically to break down three days after the warranties get lost.
13:54It's called planned obsolescence.
13:56Like that death trap of a high chair you keep falling over in.
14:00I'm their worst nightmare, Jamie.
14:04A woman who saves everything.
14:06And I'm going to go through every shred of it.
14:16What's that, Mr. Big Blender Company man?
14:19You say I'm going to need paperwork?
14:21Oh gee, I don't know if I have it.
14:24Oh wait, I do.
14:26Ha ha ha ha ha!
14:28Whoa!
14:29.
14:36Dewey I told you to keep Chad away from my desk!
14:42I just heard a whole bunch of kids from our school are going to stay overnight at that old abandoned house on Spires Road.
14:48our school are going to stay overnight at that old abandoned house on Spires Road.
14:52No one told me. Big shock.
14:56I say we go there tonight and scare the crap out of them.
15:00We're going to scare them for being jealous of us?
15:02No, we're going to scare them for being jerks.
15:07All right. Yeah, let's do it.
15:10They think they can be jerks to us? We'll show them what jerks are.
15:48Half cheese, half pepperoni.
15:49What?
15:51Listen, I'm kind of in a hurry. It's $12.
15:54Just hold on a second.
15:55Dewey! You get your butt in here right now, mister!
16:00Dad, what is wrong with you?
16:02You can't go screaming in the house when Chad's here.
16:05I am the parent in this house, and you do what I say.
16:09Now, when I tell you there is no pizza in this house, there's no pizza.
16:13That is the law!
16:14Dad!
16:14Don't you dad me! You've already dadded me good with a sleepover!
16:18You know what?
16:20Sometimes if you're just being bigoted and unreasonable,
16:23maybe I don't have to listen to you.
16:25You better listen to me!
16:27I am your father, and you will respect...
16:29Hey, you know what?
16:30This was supposed to go to 1, 2, 3, 3, 6.
16:33I bet you feel like a jackass.
16:38I have something to tell you.
16:51Hal, it'll have to wait.
16:53I wasted a half an hour getting Jamie to sleep.
16:56He kept crying because I wouldn't let him have the antifreeze bottle in bed with him.
17:00Lois, this is important.
17:01I was trying to spare you the embarrassment, but you should probably know.
17:07Dewey actually asked me first about the sleepover, and he went to you when I said no.
17:13Oh, sorry.
17:16What do you mean sorry?
17:18Maybe you don't understand.
17:20He went around my back to get to you.
17:22And this is a big upset for you?
17:25For God's sake, Hal, they go behind my back to get to you all the time.
17:28That is very different.
17:30You are the hard ass.
17:32I'm the nice, fair one.
17:34Dewey knows that.
17:35Why would he betray me?
17:37Hal, I cannot get worked up about this right now.
17:41I have to find that warranty or the blender company wins.
17:44Is that what you want, Hal?
17:46Are you on their side?
17:47Fine, I'll help you.
17:56No, Hal, I have a system.
17:59Anyway, it seems to be going fine.
18:01I haven't heard a peepot of him in hours.
18:07Hey, Chad, I can teach you to play Chinese checkers if you want.
18:12Chad!
18:13White on white.
18:16Blue on blue.
18:20And yellow on yellow.
18:21Chad, don't do this!
18:23If someone catches you, you'll be in a big trouble.
18:28I can't see you.
18:29I can't see you.
18:29I can't see you.
18:30I can't see you.
18:30I can't see you.
18:31I can't see you.
18:31I can't see you.
18:31Dewey!
18:32Just a minute!
18:33Just a minute!
18:33Hello?
18:34Oh, hello, Lloyd.
18:34No, everything's going fine with Chad.
18:35Well, you could bring it if you think he needs it.
18:42We are going to scare the crap out of them.
18:48We are going to scare the crap out of them.
19:01But you know what?
19:03I don't feel sorry for them.
19:04They've got it coming.
19:06They deserve every stained pair of underwear they're about to get.
19:10Hey, is my eye socket oozing enough?
19:12It's perfect.
19:14Okay.
19:15On the count of three, we bust through the door.
19:17If one of them has a heart attack, you resuscitate them, and I'll scare them again.
19:22Ready?
19:24One, two, three.
19:27What are you guys doing?
19:42Um.
19:44Um.
19:46Nothing.
19:48Are you guys trying to scare us?
19:50What are you, 12?
19:53We weren't trying to scare you.
19:55Of course not.
19:56That's the opposite of what we were trying to do.
20:00We're meeting girls here.
20:03Then why are you dressed like that?
20:07Because.
20:11Um.
20:19Uh.
20:24Why don't you like us?
20:26I gotta say, they had some pretty solid reasons.
20:34Come on, Chad.
20:35You have to find some way to snap out of this.
20:40Look, I want to bat for you.
20:42I've been protecting you all day, but this is something I can't cover up.
20:45And if your parents find out, they're going to put you away.
20:51Are you listening?
20:53Yes.
20:56Gringos with Gringos with Gringos with Gringos with Gringos with Gringos with Gringos.
21:02Hello, Hal.
21:02Hello, Hal.
21:03Evelyn, Lloyd, come on in.
21:06So, we were halfway through our first dinner alone in a decade when someone had to remind
21:13me that I didn't give Chad his goodnight pill.
21:16Gringos with Gringos with Gringos with Gringos.
21:17Oh.
21:18Okay.
21:19Well, I'll just, uh, go get him.
21:21Gringos with Gringos with Gringos.
21:22This in no way justifies what you said before.
21:41Chad, I want to show you a little project I've been working on.
21:49Look at this.
21:52You see, where I took my pen and I filled in the letters that needed to be filled in.
21:57The O's, the A's, the E's, the G's.
22:01The Q's, the P's, the D's, and the B's?
22:04Of course.
22:05That was you?
22:06What about the nines?
22:08Yes.
22:09What about the circles and the percent signs?
22:12Absolutely.
22:13Otherwise, you'll be left with that horrible feeling of uncompleteness.
22:16Here they are.
22:34Sleepover, buddies.
22:35Has he been okay?
22:37Oh, he's been fine.
22:38I think people prejudge Chad sometimes.
22:42He's a good kid.
22:45Open.
22:45I'm sorry, Dad.
22:55I thought you were just being...
22:58I mean, I had no idea you were...
23:03So how crazy are you?
23:06Let's just say that's my third set of encyclopedias.
23:11Well, if we leave right now, we can still catch the movie.
23:34What's this?
23:37The warranty?
23:39Hey, good for you, Chad.
23:43Well, I give up.
23:45I'm throwing out that blender.
23:47You don't have to.
23:48Look what Chad did.
23:49Pictures of things belong on the things they're pictures of.
23:55Check and mate.
23:59Ah!
24:01Ah!
24:04What is it?
24:06Hell!
24:07Ah!
24:09Honey, I'm sorry.
24:16You were lying there asleep, and you just look so beautiful.
24:20And the moment was perfect, and I never wanted it to end.
24:23And then I saw the camera, and...
24:25And I'm weak.
24:28Lois, I'm a little man.
24:30And I know that I can never apologize enough, and I'm sure right now you don't even want to look at me.
24:39How?
24:39I don't...
24:41I don't know.
24:41I don't know.
24:43Everyone's gonna hear about this.
24:54We suck.
24:55We totally suck.
24:57I hate myself so much.
24:59What is wrong with us?
25:01Everyone else our age heard an empty house.
25:03And we heard haunted house.
25:05Are we just socially stunted in some way that makes us hopeless?
25:13I think half of them were really scared.
25:18Yeah.
25:43fun and beige.
25:44I'm running.
25:45I'm running.
25:46Only two phenomenal�aged.
25:47I'm running.
25:48Elizabeth is a great Christian.
25:53It's pretty mysterious and sensitive.
25:56They seem to have different glimpses and moregard.
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