- 5/19/2025
Malcolm In The Middle Season 7 Episode 7 Blackout
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Dr. Baxter's Corvette?
00:19This is Miss Minivan.
00:21I want to savor the moment.
00:22I want to savor the moment.
00:52You're not the boss of me now.
00:55You're not the boss of me now.
00:57And you're not so big.
01:02Life is unfair.
01:11Have you seen Malcolm?
01:12No, and you haven't either.
01:15I haven't.
01:16Good.
01:17Then we understand each other.
01:18And you're going to make yourself scarce tonight.
01:20But I'm cooking.
01:22Mom and Dad are going out for their anniversary, and they're letting me pick dinner.
01:27I'm not eating cereal for dinner.
01:29Yes, you are.
01:30Dad said if I emptied out the rat traps in the crawl space, then I'd get to pick dinner.
01:35That's funny.
01:37He didn't consult me seeing as I had the fist.
01:40And you had the face.
01:43Reese says I don't get to pick dinner.
01:45He's right.
01:45You don't.
01:46Change your plans.
01:47Your mother and I are celebrating our anniversary at home.
01:49We're having steaks.
01:50No fair.
01:51I wiped up rat brains.
01:54You promised.
01:55Dewey, if I kept half the promises I made, this family would plunge into chaos.
02:00You come with me now.
02:01I didn't do anything.
02:09What's going on?
02:13Kobe.
02:14What?
02:15I have Kobe beef.
02:18No way.
02:19Yes.
02:20That's like $60 an ounce.
02:21I know.
02:22I won it in a minesweeper tournament at work.
02:25Years of practicing eight hours a day has finally paid off.
02:29Wow.
02:30I've never even seen Kobe beef.
02:32It's like meeting the Pope, but you get to eat him.
02:35Exactly.
02:36But this is treated much better than any Pope was or ever will be.
02:40It lives on beer and ice cream, and right up until the moment of slaughter, its rump and
02:46thighs are massaged by geishas.
02:49It should be eating us.
02:58There's only two.
03:00One for me.
03:02One for the chef.
03:03Ralph, you are the only person in this family qualified to cook up these babies.
03:08This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
03:11Mom doesn't get any on her anniversary?
03:13You didn't hear me.
03:15Once in a lifetime?
03:16I've had 22 anniversaries.
03:19I'm telling your mother I screwed up the reservations and we're having a steak dinner at home.
03:23You cook up these next to the prison-grade crap that I'm giving the rest of the family.
03:28Where's Malcolm?
03:31I have no idea where Malcolm is or what he's doing.
03:33Or why he's doing whatever it is that I don't know what he's doing.
03:37I know you're hiding something, but I don't care.
03:40What is this?
03:54No.
03:55No, no, Jamie.
03:57I don't want anyone to know I'm here.
03:59Shh, shh, shh.
04:02Look.
04:03There's a toy.
04:06See?
04:07Fun.
04:07Hello?
04:25Huh.
04:25Huh.
04:26I paid the bill
04:39It's the whole neighborhood
04:40See, God wants our evil plan to work
04:45Go
04:45Hal, I can't see anything
04:48I'll find a flashlight
04:50Would you look at that
04:56Is there a single neighbor
04:58That lends us something
04:58That doesn't have dead batteries
05:00What was that?
05:03I'll check
05:04Maybe an emboldened possum
05:07Francis
05:26I need a bandage
05:28I tripped over something in the garage
05:30When the lights went out
05:31What were you doing in the garage?
05:34I was hiding from dad
05:35I wanted to talk to you first
05:37Francis, your father and I
05:39Have a joint checking account
05:40It doesn't matter who you talk to first
05:42No, it's just
05:43You know how emotional he gets
05:45I don't want him overreacting
05:46When he hears what happened
05:47What happened?
05:50I think my marriage is over
05:52That's bad news
05:56Of course it is
05:56What's going on?
05:58We've been fighting about everything lately
06:00I mean, how do you answer
06:02When someone asks
06:02Does your face have to look like that?
06:05I put up with her face
06:06With that nose always pointing at me
06:09Oh, Francis
06:10I still love her
06:12I don't want it to end
06:13But I just
06:13I don't see how it's gonna last
06:16Lois
06:17Can you come out here?
06:18I need you
06:19Just don't tell dad, okay?
06:20He'll be a mess
06:21And I'll end up having to take care of him
06:23Okay
06:23I'll get your father out of the way
06:25And then you and I can talk later
06:27Francis
06:36I'm so glad you're here
06:38Dad promised we'd all have cereal for dinner tonight
06:41And now he won't let us
06:42Do we?
06:43I understand
06:44And I swear to you
06:46By all that is holy
06:47That you'll be eating cereal tonight
06:49You can count on me
06:51You're not gonna do anything, are you?
06:53No, I'm not
06:54But I'll tell you what I will do
06:56If you let anyone know I'm here
06:57I will punch you so hard in the stomach
06:59You won't be able to eat cereal for two days
07:02Here
07:03Problem solved
07:04The bedroom
07:06Where you hell are headed right now
07:09Whoa
07:13Where did that come from?
07:25I'm just trying to celebrate our anniversary
07:27Not just yet
07:30I still have some work to do
07:32Officer
07:39What is this about?
07:42You better lock the doors
07:43Actually, Hal
07:44You know, on second thought
07:46I'm really not in the mood
07:47Oh, I see
07:51Stoke the flame
07:53Oh, I like the way you think
07:56Hello
08:16Malcolm
08:18For God's sake
08:19We've been looking all over for you
08:21What?
08:23Slow down
08:24I can't understand what you're saying
08:25Are you drunk?
08:28You're drunk!
08:29Who's drunk?
08:30Malcolm
08:31He's drunk at a party
08:32A hundred miles down the freeway
08:34Now we both have to go down there
08:36Pick him up
08:37And drive his car back
08:38Oh, for God's sake
08:40You know what would teach him a lesson?
08:42If we made him wait until after we ate dinner
08:45Let him stew in his own juices
08:47His own delicious, savory juices
08:51Get your keys, Hal
08:52I'll meet you in the car
08:53All right
08:54Malcolm, you just stay right where you are
08:58I hate children
09:02So clever
09:15It'll take him two hours on the highway
09:17An hour to figure out I'm not there
09:19And then two hours back
09:20I swear I'd say I have about five hours left to live
09:23How about we make it worthwhile?
09:27That stupid fish!
09:29Malcolm
09:29Crap!
09:36Malcolm
09:37Crap!
09:37Hello?
09:54there it is sweet this is gonna solve all my problems
10:19pyama hi baby i found it it is even more beautiful than i remember
10:27i'm gonna grab it and go they won't even know i was here i love you
10:34jamie go get the stick
11:04jamie oh did the blackout scare you listen pal i need the batteries from one of your toys
11:14where's that frog that used to shock you in the bathtub
11:17hey lois can you come out here i need you
11:25what's this i thought we were going out for our anniversary honey this is going
11:35to be even better we are going to stay home and have kobe beef
11:42okay i thought you'd be a little excited
11:48ah i'm sorry hal i'm just a little lost in thought a friend at work is having
11:53marital problems
11:55and that's very sad but we are gonna have kobe beef
12:00reese is gonna prepare its flesh perfectly because he thinks he's gonna get some to eat
12:06but he's not isn't that great
12:09that's a good scheme you bet it's a good scheme
12:12but do you know where my apron is i washed it it's in the bedroom closet
12:15the bedroom where you hell are headed right now oh oh oh where did that come from i'm just
12:32trying to celebrate our anniversary
12:34frances
12:52mom
12:53i don't have a lot of time and i want to talk to you about your marriage
12:58oh yeah great
13:01love to hear what you have to say
13:04have you and pyama thought about um spicing things up
13:09what
13:11frances if it isn't right in the bedroom it isn't going to be right anywhere else
13:16what
13:16when i say the bedroom i mean sex
13:20yeah i got it
13:22frances marriage isn't mental it isn't even really about feelings
13:26when you get right down to it is a sloppy sweaty physical act
13:30now your father may have flaws he may not make a lot of money but he has never been other than a rigorous and challenging lover
13:38mom
13:38can i be frank with you
13:40no
13:40do you remember sometimes in the morning i'd forget to put juice in your lunchbox
13:44i was lucky i could remember my own name
13:47uh-huh because when your father gets down to work and is intimate with me he is like a skilled general invading a country
13:55he doesn't just launch an assault by sea he uses paratroopers and columns of infantry
14:02and even secret agents
14:04honey good for you get it all out we can talk more later
14:13i'm willing to propose a compromise
14:25dewey give it up you'll never get anything you want
14:28we have to get rid of mom and dad
14:35don't worry about it
14:37i am worried about it those dutch girls won't hold forever
14:44dutch girls no stay dutch girls stay
14:48we didn't have fun american parties are supposed to have djs and african americans
14:55i'll get you those
14:56we are leaving
14:57if we wanted to be bored we could go to luxembourg
15:00you can't go
15:01while you're in there a rock star called and said he was going to come over
15:05we don't blame you for our bitter disappointment
15:08we don't know how to overcome your country's puritan heritage
15:13i can learn teach me goodbye
15:16no no no no no please don't leave
15:19i'll lose face in american culture
15:22if i say i'm throwing a party and my guests leave
15:26then i'm humiliated
15:27and i have to prove myself in combat against the mayor
15:31i might die
15:33i think he thought we idioten sin
15:37he's been hoping
15:38i think that we look as if it got done sin
15:41we know your story's a lot of crap
15:44but we think you're cute
15:46we'll stay
15:47but if we are not drunk in 20 minutes
15:50we are leaving
15:51thank you so much for being reasonable
15:53just go back in my room
15:55and uh stay out of sight
15:56this won't take long i promise
15:58dude
16:01i can't believe you admitted you were afraid to fight the mayor
16:04what are we gonna do about mom and dad
16:06i've got it covered
16:07how
16:08let's just say that since people started getting prescription drugs in the mail
16:12it's opened a whole new world of possibilities
16:15remember when dad took away my game boy
16:17and then he fell asleep at work and he thought he was gonna be fired
16:20tuna salad with cumin and allergy medicine
16:24do you know how crazy and dangerous that is
16:28even you want to poison your own family
16:30no
16:30malcolm
16:32last month when you thought your watch skipped from wednesday to friday
16:36it wasn't the watch
16:38okay
16:40i've got a plan that isn't insane
16:43i'll make a call to get them out of the house
16:46oh here comes dad just keep him occupied
16:50how the call's looking
16:58almost ready
16:59oh
17:00okay
17:01let me know
17:01dad wait
17:03what
17:03where did babies come from
17:07reese i'm sure we've talked about this
17:11yeah but i'm blanking
17:12two guys right
17:13you know
17:16we can talk about this later
17:17you better get that phone
17:19that sounds like it's for you
17:20i hate children
17:34francis
17:37francis
17:38i had another thought for you in pyama
17:41ballroom dancing
17:43oh that sounds great mom
17:46but you know your advice from earlier
17:48it it really helped out so i think we're gonna be cool
17:52that stupid fish
17:56oh crap
17:58that stupid fish
18:05crap
18:06hello
18:20huh
18:23come on follow me
18:40this way
18:41movies are wrong
18:44america is not a fun country
18:46the public transportation is underfunded
18:48and you can't drink beer in the library
18:50and now the lights are out
18:52this country is also for the lying fathers
18:55who say you can have cereal
18:56and then make you eat steak
18:58i promise you you'll have fun
19:00jury
19:01shut up and get lost
19:02if you understood our culture better
19:04there's no way you'd be here
19:06it's not gonna work
19:14mom and dad aren't going anywhere
19:16we're gonna have to do this another night
19:17there is no other night
19:18they're going home tomorrow
19:20but there is a blackout
19:22what are we supposed to do with a bunch of dutch girls in the dark
19:25these girls are from amsterdam
19:27they don't even have a word for virginity there
19:29is there a high speed train available to take us to a juke joint
19:33we wish to experience in typical american culture
19:36and you will
19:37this is a very important part of american culture
19:41which is getting the parents out of the house
19:43you know
19:44teenage hijinks
19:46in holland parents enjoy for children to have pleasure
19:49i know it's it's crazy and yet
19:52we rule the world
19:56okay malcolm
19:58your arrogant american attitude
20:00has charmed us
20:03to build the alcohol
20:04i promise
20:05you just go and wait in a room
20:07and we'll get it all sorted out
20:10i get the easy looking one on the left
20:12we all speak english
20:14i know
20:18come on come on let's go
20:23i know
20:36i know
20:38i know
20:40Just because it's drugs doesn't mean it has to taste bad.
21:10Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
21:40Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:10Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:12Oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:14Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:16Oh, oh, oh.
22:18Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:20Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:22Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:34When you're getting drunk to impress your friends, but when it's time to drive home and take your punishment, it's, oh, daddy, come save me.
22:42That stupid fish.
22:45Crap.
22:51You're here.
22:53Kinda.
22:54You lied to me. You're not drunk at all.
22:57You lied to me. You're not getting divorced.
23:00Sorry.
23:01You sold out your wife and your marriage and got me all...
23:04Excited, mom?
23:05No. Upset. All so you can steal your father's fish.
23:09You can't steal what belongs to you.
23:11I reeled it in for five hours. He just swooped in at the last moment and gaffed it.
23:16You said if I ever called and said I was drunk, I wouldn't get in trouble.
23:19That only applies if you're actually drunk.
23:22That was ten years ago. Why do you even care?
23:24It was between me and some guys.
23:26What guys?
23:27They come around the pool every day at three o'clock, talking smack like all I do is hang around in the pool all day and I never did anything with my life.
23:35So I told them about the fish. And they said they didn't believe me.
23:39Man, I can't wait to see the look on Jason Sullivan's face.
23:43Three o'clock? How old are these people?
23:46Good point.
23:47A twelve-year-old should not be lecturing people about how they have or have not lived their lives.
23:53You're trying to impress a twelve-year-old?
23:55Not trying to. Going to.
23:58I don't want this dead fish in my house. You can have it.
24:01But once I help you, you know what you have to do.
24:04Learn not to care what other people think?
24:06Get a job!
24:09Yeah.
24:10That'll show them.
24:11I am going to decide your punishment on a full stomach, Malcolm.
24:17Malcolm?
24:18Francis!
24:19You lied about being drunk?
24:21What are you doing with my fish?
24:23Dinner!
24:24Dinner!
24:30I don't know where you get it.
24:32The dishonesty.
24:33We are your family and you betray us.
24:36God, this is so good, Reese.
24:38Thanks.
24:39You know, Malcolm, I would like to reach into your ear and tear out that part of your brain
24:44that makes you do things like this.
24:47Smokey.
24:48Best of mesquite.
24:49I don't even know what's happening in my own house.
24:53Really good, Reese.
24:55Hey, thanks for your piece, Dewey.
24:57You sure you don't want any?
24:58No, thanks.
24:59That is so nice of you, Dewey.
25:01At least we have one boy we can trust.
25:09I have a taste.
25:24You don't want that.
25:25Reese made this special sleeping sauce for Mom and Dad, but I thought the whole family deserved
25:30to have something.
25:42A typical American dinner.
25:44No?
25:44A special American dinner.
25:46More charms?
25:48Dunk.
25:48Dunk.
25:51Mmm, the frosted moons and stars are about magic.
25:54And also delicious.
25:55Mm-hmm.
25:56I can't believe they promised it to you and then just try to take it back.
26:00Forget about them.
26:02Let's just enjoy our time together.
26:03Mmm.
26:04Mmm.
26:04Mmm.
26:05Mmm.
26:05Mmm.
26:05Mmm.
26:05Mmm.
26:06Mmm.
26:06Mmm.
26:07Mmm.
26:07Mmm.
26:07Mmm.
26:07Mmm.
26:08Mmm.
26:08Mmm.
26:09Mmm.
26:09Mmm.
26:10Mmm.
26:11Mmm.
26:12Mmm.
26:13Mmm.
26:14Mmm.
26:15Mmm.
26:16Mmm.
26:17Mmm.
26:18Mmm.
26:19Mmm.
26:20Mmm.
26:21Mmm.
26:22Mmm.
26:23Mmm.
26:24Mmm.
26:25Mmm.
26:26Mmm.
26:27Mmm.
26:28Mmm.
26:29Mmm.
26:30Mmm.
26:31Mmm.
26:32Mmm.
26:33Mmm.
26:34Mmm.
26:35Mmm.
26:36Mmm.
26:37Mmm.
26:38Mmm.
26:39Mmm.
26:40Mmm.
26:41Mmm.
26:42Mmm.
26:43Mmm.
26:44Mmm.
26:45Mmm.
26:46Mmm.
26:47Mmm.
26:47Mmm.
Recommended
26:17
|
Up next
20:18