Malcolm In The Middle Season 7 Episode 3 Reese Vs Stevie
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00:00He was the one who called the police station on the night of the murder.
00:04All I knew was the next person through that door would be the man who killed my partner.
00:10Hello, McKendrick. I heard from behind me.
00:13I spun around, but standing there was...
00:16A stupid housewife who wouldn't let her son buy nunchucks, even though they're totally safe.
00:23Please!
00:25Yes, no, maybe.
00:30I don't know, can you repeat the question?
00:36You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
00:47You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
01:00Life is unfair.
01:22All right, Reese, you're busted.
01:25Of all the stupid, come on, front and center.
01:30Now, don't blame yourself.
01:36Do we?
01:37You're smoking?
01:39Do you have any idea what a dangerous, disgusting addiction that is?
01:44It took me years to quit.
01:46Do you want to end up breathing through a hole in your neck?
01:49Do you think that's cool?
01:51You couldn't breathe through a hole in your neck?
01:53What do you think your mother's going to say about this?
01:55You can't tell Mom. She'll kill me.
01:57Well, you should have thought of that earlier.
01:59Where would you even get cigarettes anyway?
02:01There's like 20 cartons hidden in your shop vac.
02:04Oh, my God.
02:06That is my stash from 10 years ago.
02:09Oh, this would kill me.
02:14All right, Dewey, under the circumstances,
02:16I am giving you your one free pass.
02:20Free pass?
02:20That's right.
02:21I have given each of your brothers one free pass.
02:24One time that I didn't tell your mother about something they did.
02:27All right, Francis, this is your one free pass.
02:36Okay, Reese, but this is your one.
02:46Okay, Malcolm, this is your one.
02:49Please make this my one free pass.
02:53All right.
02:54Got some paperwork to sign.
02:57Chair.
02:59Book.
03:00Window.
03:02Mama.
03:03Come on.
03:03Jamie, you can talk.
03:05Just one word.
03:07Hal, has Jamie said anything in front of you yet?
03:11Whatever he said, he's a liar, Lois.
03:13He hasn't seen anything.
03:14What are you talking about?
03:17What are you talking about?
03:19I'm worried about Jamie.
03:21He's however old he is, and he hasn't said a word yet.
03:24I thought that's what we liked about him.
03:27You know, it's probably his filthy ears.
03:31I bet he's all plugged up with wax, and he can't hear anything.
03:34I don't think so.
03:35Relax, honey.
03:36Kids go at their own pace.
03:38Heck, sixth grade, I had a full beard,
03:41and I still couldn't tie my shoes properly.
03:48There you are.
03:49Stevie, you ran off without your backup inhaler.
03:53Thanks.
03:55Dad.
03:56Does Stevie tell you his big news?
03:58No.
03:58What's going on?
03:59Stevie's been accepted as a research subject
04:02at the Norvett Biomedical Institute.
04:05Dr. Norvett himself picked him for the motor neuropathy program.
04:10It's nothing.
04:13Nothing?
04:14Come on, Stevie.
04:15This is the most exciting thing that's happened to us
04:17since they put your stomach on the inside.
04:20Who knows?
04:21This Christmas might just be our first ski vacation.
04:25Dad.
04:26Tomorrow after school, we'll go look at snowboards.
04:29Dad.
04:30I said just look.
04:31My desk.
04:41Reese, what's your problem?
04:43He's my problem.
04:45I get to come home to my own room
04:47and put my own stuff on my own desk.
04:50There's such a thing as manners, Stevie.
04:52When you're a guest in someone's house...
04:55Ah!
04:55Real classy, Reese.
05:04Go ahead.
05:05Hit him.
05:06It's not fair.
05:07He's hit me plenty of times.
05:09He makes fun of me.
05:10He treats me like crap.
05:12And just because he's in that chair,
05:13he gets away with it.
05:15I blame society.
05:18I'm sorry, Stevie.
05:23Good.
05:24Malcolm, get your dirty socks off this table
05:26or I'll feed them to you for dinner.
05:28It's like I taste the difference.
05:37I'm going to do it anyway.
05:39What?
05:40I'm going to beat you up anyway.
05:42This Friday after school,
05:44we're going to go somewhere private
05:46and I'm going to beat you so bad
05:48your wheelchair's going to need a wheelchair.
05:50I want you to think about that for a few days.
05:53Picture it.
05:55Dream about it.
05:57Like I'm doing.
05:58Even if you tell on me,
05:59I will find some way to make this happen.
06:03So you might as well have some dignity
06:04and keep your mouth shut.
06:08Your ass might not know I'm kicking it,
06:10but I will.
06:15Here you go.
06:16All right, Jamie.
06:20Doctor said there's no physical reason
06:22you can't talk,
06:23so that's exactly what you were going to do.
06:26Talk.
06:27He said the best way to get you started
06:29is for me to talk to you constantly
06:30about everything happening around you
06:32so that you live in a more verbal world.
06:35That means Mommy's going to narrate
06:37everything she's doing.
06:38Like right now,
06:39when she's going over here to make you a snack.
06:41Then it'll be time to do the laundry.
06:43And after that,
06:44she gets to make dinner for the whole family,
06:47who will wolf it down in ten seconds
06:48and leave her to do the dishes by herself
06:50before she gets to make the boys' lunches
06:52for school the next day.
06:53Then she'll get ready for bed
06:54after everybody else
06:56and discover that the bathroom
06:58is a swampy, hairy mess
06:59and Mommy gets to spend the last waking minutes
07:01with a sponge and a can of cleanser.
07:04Then it'll be time to wake up in the morning
07:05and she'll do it all over again.
07:07Day after day,
07:08week after week
07:09for the next 30 years
07:10until Mommy dies.
07:11And then with Mommy's luck,
07:12even that won't be the end of it.
07:13Dewey, get out of here right now.
07:23You're smoking again
07:25after we talked about this last week?
07:27You know what that does to you?
07:29I'm cutting back.
07:30Cutting back?
07:32How many cigarettes are you smoking?
07:34Under two packs a day.
07:37What?
07:39How is that even possible?
07:41I got rid of the cartons in the garage.
07:43Well, you didn't get rid of the ones
07:44hidden in the crawl space
07:45or the rain gutters
07:47or under the ivy.
07:48There's thousands of cigarettes
07:50hidden all over the place.
07:51How could you spend all that money
07:53and not even smoke them?
07:54I could have gone to private school.
07:57Keep it down.
08:01Look, Dewey, I'm sorry,
08:03but I had such a hard time quitting
08:04and the only way I could do it
08:06without freaking out
08:07was knowing they were there.
08:11I know it sounds crazy.
08:13I'll tell you what's crazy.
08:14Being hooked on these stupid things
08:16even though I hate
08:17the way they taste and smell.
08:19Well, those are really stale.
08:21You're not getting
08:21the fresh, rich flavor.
08:24Never mind.
08:25The point is you can beat this.
08:27We'll do it together.
08:29Listen, you know how much
08:30I love coffee, right?
08:31Yeah, I've seen you drink it
08:33in the shower.
08:33Exactly.
08:34I must drink three pots a day.
08:36Easy.
08:37Well, I'm willing to give it up
08:38for you cold turkey
08:39if you give up smoking.
08:42Really?
08:42Absolutely.
08:44That way we're both suffering.
08:46We both know what the other's going through
08:48and we can support each other.
08:51You and me, Dewey.
08:52We'll be a team, huh?
08:54That sounds great, Dad.
08:56Just let me have one more
08:59to get out of my system.
09:00We can start...
09:01Yeah, all right.
09:08Come on, Stevie.
09:09Pay attention.
09:10You just had Hitler invade Malibu.
09:13Sorry.
09:14What's up with you, Liam?
09:16Hi, guys.
09:17Hey, Reese.
09:18How'd it go with the principal?
09:19Fantastic.
09:20I love when they get old
09:21and they start just phoning it in.
09:23He's actually willing to believe
09:25this is from obsessive hand-washing.
09:32Reese took out Scotty Rosselli today.
09:34It was brutal.
09:35You should have seen it.
09:36He hit him so hard,
09:38a few times he actually lifted him up
09:40in the air.
09:41And the blood was...
09:43I mean, there's always blood,
09:44but Scotty was like
09:45one of those big sprinklers, you know?
09:50And once he went down,
09:51Reese went to work on it.
09:53Did you know he had dental tools?
09:56Hey, I get Africa.
10:00Can I...
10:02ask you something?
10:04Sure.
10:05Do you find...
10:07my personality...
10:10abrasive?
10:12What?
10:12Do you think
10:14I'm needlessly
10:16antagonistic?
10:20I don't know.
10:21Probably.
10:22What do you care?
10:24I don't
10:25want anyone
10:27to hate me.
10:32It's Lisa Fillmore, isn't it?
10:35Who?
10:35I saw you checking her out.
10:38You like the big stuff, huh?
10:40Nice.
10:40Little jiggly-wiggly,
10:42little wobble-wobble-wobble-wobble-wobble-wobble.
10:43You're
10:44a jerk.
10:46I'm just being supportive.
10:47I'm sorry.
10:49Come on.
10:49Let's just finish the game.
10:51Can't.
10:53Today's our
10:54first meeting
10:56at the Norvitt Institute.
11:00Okay, wait.
11:01There's something good
11:02about your personality.
11:03You completely
11:04hew me your dad
11:05with all his idiotic plans
11:06for you to walk,
11:07no matter how pointless
11:08and stupid it is to try.
11:09You're never like,
11:10Dad, wake up.
11:11I'm never getting
11:12out of this wheelchair.
11:13I'm gonna be a cripple
11:14to the day I die.
11:15I mean, you know it,
11:16but you don't throw it
11:17in his face.
11:18That's a really nice quality.
11:21There.
11:21Better?
11:24And so I spend
11:25all this time
11:26every morning
11:26on my hair
11:27trying to get it just so,
11:28although I know
11:29no one else notices.
11:30It's such a stupid
11:31vanity thing.
11:32I don't know
11:33why I'm so neurotic
11:34about my hair.
11:35You know,
11:35it's just ridiculous
11:36if you think about it.
11:38Wish I could let it go,
11:39but it's like
11:39I just can't
11:40hold myself.
11:41Oh.
11:45Slow down.
11:46You haven't had breakfast yet.
11:47Well, if you got me
11:48the nicotine gum
11:49like I asked,
11:50then...
11:51You okay?
12:01Or that?
12:02That's nothing, Lois.
12:04That's just puberty.
12:06You know,
12:06when a boy's lungs drop.
12:08This is how it hits
12:09all the men in my family.
12:11Hacking cough.
12:12Dark circles
12:13under the eyes.
12:15Yellowing fingers.
12:16So there I am,
12:2613 years old,
12:27flat-chested as I can be.
12:28Everyone around me
12:29is sprouting,
12:30and I'm feeling just horrible
12:31about myself.
12:33And why?
12:35No reason at all.
12:37I'm getting straight A's,
12:38I'm running the food drive,
12:40I'm all counting on the gymnastics team,
12:42and none of this
12:42means anything to me
12:43because I'm so fixated
12:45on my bus line.
12:49And so like an idiot,
12:51I started stuffing my bra
12:52with toilet paper.
12:55Even after all these years,
12:57I remember every morning
12:58in the bathroom
13:00shoving these things
13:01down my shirt
13:02and feeling like
13:02such an awkward,
13:04ugly little girl.
13:15Of course,
13:15in second period Spanish,
13:17I had to sit next
13:17to the snooty Janice Montgomery
13:19with her tangerine nail polish,
13:21which I was dying to try.
13:23But of course,
13:23she wouldn't let me
13:24because I had drugstore shoes.
13:27Hey, Mom.
13:29Look at these stains!
13:32You boys are in so much trouble.
13:34No more pillowcases
13:35for a month!
13:38Okay.
14:04Fixing something?
14:24Dad!
14:26Hi!
14:27Hi!
14:28I'm so disappointed in you, son.
14:31We had an agreement.
14:35What was that?
14:37What was what?
14:43All right.
14:44We both have a problem.
14:45This is so degrading.
14:48On the way home from school,
14:49I almost pulled a cigarette butt
14:50out of the gutter.
14:52I French kissed your mother
14:53this morning
14:54just to lick the coffee
14:55off her teeth.
14:56But we can do this.
14:58We just need to find a way
14:59to divert our minds
15:00when the pangs get too bad.
15:14Hal, what are you doing?
15:16What's it look like I'm doing?
15:18Can't a father have
15:19a friendly game
15:20of catch with his son?
15:21We're having fun!
15:22I had that dream again
15:34last night.
15:36Cheerleading tryouts.
15:38Like it wasn't bad enough,
15:40it happened.
15:40I have to relive it
15:41for the rest of my life.
15:43I was so excited
15:44to think that I might be
15:46a cougar
15:47and finally feel
15:49like I belonged.
15:50The routine was nothing.
15:52I'd done that stuff
15:52in gymnastics for years
15:54and still,
15:54I practiced that routine
15:55for weeks,
15:56making sure that
15:57it was perfect.
16:00On the day of the tryouts,
16:01I borrowed my sister's
16:02good sweater,
16:04spent about an hour
16:05on my hair,
16:06stuffed my bra.
16:07I even shoved
16:07a little extra
16:08in there for luck.
16:10And when I got down
16:11to the gym,
16:11I found out that
16:12I had to go first
16:13in front of the whole squad
16:14and everyone else
16:15who was trying out.
16:16So I just pretended
16:19to be braver than I was.
16:21I smiled real big
16:22and I went out there
16:22and I started my routine.
16:25I did a round off,
16:27cartwheel,
16:28kip up.
16:29It was going great.
16:30I was so happy.
16:32I landed my backflip
16:34dead solid,
16:35perfect.
16:36I threw up my arms
16:37and instead of
16:39everybody cheering,
16:41everybody was laughing.
16:43and I looked down
16:47and there was
16:47a 30-foot-long trail
16:49of toilet paper
16:50along the tumbling mat.
16:54Everything I worked for,
16:57everything I wanted
16:58so desperately,
17:01ruined,
17:02because of my vanity.
17:04And you know
17:10what the worst part is?
17:12I didn't even learn anything.
17:16Deep down,
17:16I'm still
17:17just as shallow
17:18as I was then.
17:20All that fussing
17:22and primping
17:23and time
17:24I wasted
17:26to shut out laughter
17:27that stopped
17:2730 years ago.
17:28It's disgusting.
17:29If I had any guts,
17:31I would just
17:32cut off my hair
17:33right now.
17:34You know,
17:35just face it down
17:36and beat it.
17:47You're going to get that?
17:49I can't.
17:53Hello?
17:54Malcolm.
17:54It's Abe.
17:55Where's your brother?
17:56Reese, I don't know,
17:57probably pounding
17:58the snot out of someone.
17:59It's Stevie.
18:00You've got to stop it.
18:01What?
18:02What are you talking about?
18:03Stevie and I
18:03were in the middle
18:04of our session
18:05at the Norvett Institute
18:06and then he said
18:08he had to go
18:08fight Reese
18:09and just took off.
18:11Oh, no.
18:22Reese,
18:23what are you doing?
18:24Something I should
18:25have done years ago.
18:27I've been numbing
18:28my legs in ice
18:29for an hour now.
18:30What?
18:30I can't feel
18:31a thing down there.
18:34See?
18:35Nothing.
18:36The first three times
18:37I did that
18:37I hurt like hell.
18:39Nobody's going to say
18:40this wasn't a fair fight.
18:43When Stevie gets here,
18:44I'm going to flop over
18:45to him like a fish,
18:46yank him out of his chair
18:48and smash his face in
18:50gimp to gimp.
18:55Reese, you're insane.
18:56Am I?
18:58They thought Einstein
18:59was crazy
19:00until he started
19:02kicking ass.
19:08Hey, where's Ma?
19:12She's locked in a room
19:13with Jamie.
19:14She's been in there
19:14for hours.
19:15Oh, listen,
19:17I'm sorry I snapped at you.
19:19I was just agitated,
19:20but I'm feeling better now.
19:21Hey, I really think
19:22we're over the hump.
19:23We're still a team, okay?
19:26Good boy.
19:40What are you doing?
19:42What?
19:43Well, this,
19:44it's nothing.
19:45It's keeping me calm.
19:47But we're quitting.
19:48No, I'm quitting coffee.
19:49You're quitting cigarettes.
19:51That's cheating.
19:52You do not get to do this.
19:54Actually, Dewey,
19:55I get to do whatever I want
19:56because I am a grown-up.
19:58All right.
20:00If that's how you want it.
20:03Dewey, what are you doing?
20:05Dewey!
20:06Don't you dare!
20:15The smooth,
20:17wonderful taste of betrayal.
20:20Well, I'm in flavor country, baby.
20:25This is good.
20:35This is growth.
20:36Just do it.
20:37Don't be such a chicken.
20:39It's the only way
20:40to stop hearing it.
20:41All those kids laughing.
20:44My mother coming into
20:44the nurse's office
20:45telling me to stop blubbering.
20:47She wouldn't have to
20:47stuff my bra
20:48if I wasn't too lazy
20:49to grow it myself.
20:50Oh, my God.
20:57It was my mother.
21:00She was the one
21:01stuffing my bra.
21:03Oh, my God.
21:06She was the one
21:07making me feel
21:08so horrible
21:08and inadequate.
21:10Not me.
21:10This wasn't about
21:11vanity, Jamie.
21:13This is about
21:14an abusive old bat
21:16trying to make her kid
21:17into something
21:17that she wasn't.
21:18Well, I am not
21:23going to be
21:23that kind of mother.
21:25If you don't feel
21:26like talking yet,
21:27then you don't
21:28have to talk.
21:29I'm going to love you
21:31exactly the way you are.
21:40Shut up.
21:44Rich, roasted goodness.
21:46Suddenly,
21:46I'm in a French cafe.
21:48Well, I'm with
21:49two girls
21:50in a speedboat
21:51sucking down
21:52a smooth blend
21:53of fine tobacco.
21:56Hal!
21:58Dewey's drinking coffee.
22:09I think crippling my legs
22:11made my arms stronger.
22:12Like how blind
22:13guys have bigger noses.
22:14This is going to be great.
22:16Reese, you can't do this.
22:17Stevie's our friend.
22:19Hey, he's not my friend.
22:20He's your friend.
22:21He treats me like crap.
22:23He insults me
22:24and disrespects me.
22:27And you love him.
22:28What?
22:29You always take his side
22:30and you always do
22:31everything his way
22:32even though we're brothers.
22:35Wait.
22:36Are you jealous?
22:38No.
22:38No, I'm pissed.
22:40You and Stevie
22:41are going to be friends
22:42your whole life.
22:43But once you go away
22:44to college
22:45and you're not stuck
22:46with us,
22:47we are never going
22:47to see you again.
22:48But even so,
22:50you're spending
22:50the rest of the time
22:51left with Stevie
22:52instead of...
22:57Do I have to tell you
23:00I love you?
23:02No.
23:03Good.
23:07Dude,
23:08like you said,
23:10we're brothers.
23:12It doesn't matter
23:13if I don't want to be here.
23:14I'm stuck here.
23:16No matter where I go
23:18or what I do,
23:19we're always going
23:20to be forced together.
23:21Christmas,
23:22birthdays,
23:23we're going to be forced
23:25to be around each other
23:25for the rest of our lives.
23:27Really?
23:33What was that?
23:34I don't know.
23:35What?
23:57your mind.
24:04Can you see me?
24:06I forgive you.
24:09Come on, Stevie.
24:10I can't walk.
24:11This isn't fair.
24:13Don't reduce yourself
24:14to bottom level.
24:16You're better than this.
24:18What?
24:19What?
24:19What?
24:20What?
24:20What?
24:20What?
24:20What?
24:21What?
24:21What?
24:21What?
24:21What?
24:22What?
24:22What?
24:23What?
24:23What?
24:23What?
24:23What?
24:24What?
24:24What?
24:25What?
24:25What?
24:26What?
24:26What?
24:27What?
24:27What?
24:33God, I'm too late.
24:34Stevie, please stop.
24:36Think of the lawsuit.
24:37You know these people
24:38won't do anything
24:39to get our money.
24:44The Norvett Institute
24:46kicks Stevie out
24:46of their program
24:47for unauthorized use
24:48of their equipment.
24:50And Reese will be okay.
24:51But he's not allowed
24:52out of bed
24:52until he stops
24:53seeing four of everything.
24:54mom's making dad find every last one of his old cigarettes she's going to make him eat any she
25:15finds tomorrow morning so he's pretty motivated the amazing thing is i'm the only one that got
25:21scot-free welcome go change reese's bedpan hey he's my brother
25:51so
26:00so
26:08so
26:14so