Malcolm In The Middle Season 3 Episode 13 Reese Drives
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00:01Dewey!
00:03Son!
00:06Dewey!
00:08Dewey, come on out!
00:11We love you, son!
00:13Dewey, come on, we're gonna be late!
00:24Oh, poor little thing.
00:27Go start the car.
00:31Yes, no, maybe
00:36I don't know
00:39Can you repeat the question?
00:43You're not the boss of me now
00:46You're not the boss of me now
00:49You're not the boss of me now
00:51And you're not so big
00:54You're not the boss of me now
00:57You're not the boss of me now
01:00You're not the boss of me now
01:02And you're not so big
01:06Life is unfair
01:08Awesome dinner, Mom. Those are the best fish sticks I've had in my entire life. Seriously, I don't know how you do it.
01:23The microwave.
01:24But for the perfect amount of time
01:27Well, I better clean my plate and get started on my homework
01:30At first, I thought it was a brain tumor
01:34But tomorrow he's old enough to get his learner's permit
01:36He's having his best behavior until after he passes the test
01:40Can I get anyone a nice cup of peppermint tea?
01:42Helps digestion
01:45Mom and Dad have been looking for any excuse to ground him
01:48He hasn't screwed up once in like three weeks
01:51It's actually getting kind of boring
01:53Ah!
02:00Didn't think so
02:02Remember, Dad
02:04You're picking me up from school tomorrow to take me to the DMV
02:07I wouldn't miss it, son
02:09Dear God, what are we gonna do?
02:11What are we gonna do?
02:12What can we do? He hasn't done anything wrong
02:15Oh, please, it's Reese
02:16We just haven't looked hard enough
02:18Al, we're gonna have to face it
02:20That kid is gonna be mobile
02:22Reese surrounded by 6,000 pounds of steel and 20 gallons of explosive fuel?
02:27It's like giving a shark a submachine gun
02:31I'll get it
02:34Hello
02:35Hey, Dad
02:36Francis, hi, how are you?
02:39We haven't heard from you in so long
02:41Yeah, well, you know how I've always been kind of impulsive and independent-minded
02:46But basically just unlucky?
02:49What?
02:51Well, there's been a certain incident here
02:53And without getting bogged down by the blame game
02:55Let's just say there have been some damages
02:58That's why you're calling?
03:00Francis, no, you can't do that anymore
03:02You're on your own
03:04You've emancipated yourself, remember?
03:06You can't come running back to your parents for money at the first sign of trouble anymore
03:09I'm not running to my parents
03:12I'm calling as one adult to another for an adult loan
03:17No, no, you've made whatever mess you've made and you take care of it
03:22I have been taking care of it
03:24I already got Big Red to cut me the lumber in exchange for a pair of fur-lined boots
03:27I got my friend Pete to make the boots, but only because I promised him a new set of teeth
03:33And as you probably know, teeth don't come cheap
03:37Now that's where you...
03:41Hey, Dave, you know that digital camera that Bernie got that you like so much?
03:46Yeah?
03:47What would you pay if I could get it for you?
03:50You can get Bernie to give up his camera?
03:54Absolutely!
03:57I've been waiting for this my whole life
04:00Once I'm driving, everything changes
04:03All I have to do is stay out of trouble for the next sixteen hours
04:07And I'm home free
04:09How's that?
04:11A little tighter on this side
04:12Okay, you're all set
04:17Now remember, do not untie me until the morning
04:20No matter what I say or how much I beg
04:23Got it!
04:24Uh-oh, I gotta go to the bathroom
04:26Too bad!
04:28Just testing, thanks buddy
04:32It's weird, for Reece suddenly doesn't seem as irritating as he used to
04:36It's amazing what a driver's license can do for a relationship
04:42Hi
04:49Dewey, I'm warning you
04:51If you even touch me, you can forget about me ever driving you anywhere for the rest of your life
04:58I have nowhere to go
05:07Hello?
05:08Hi Lois, it's Craig
05:09Craig, I can't talk right now, I'm on the other line
05:13It's okay, this will only take a second
05:15I have something to say to you that I only feel comfortable saying because we're like family
05:21Your son Malcolm is a filthy vandal
05:24What?
05:25He threw eggs all over the front of my new apartment
05:28Him and his little wheelchair friend
05:30They wanted some free Lucky 8 candy
05:32I said no, next thing I know it's like D-Day here
05:35Malcolm, get in here!
05:36Get in here!
05:37You'd think I'd be the last person you'd target after I forgave your family for burning my old place down
05:43Which I'd like to remind you again, I hardly ever mention
05:47Craig, I am so sorry
05:49Well, boys will be boys
05:51All I want is for him to come over and clean it up
05:55And if he could stop and get me a nonfat latte along the way, that would be great
05:58Don't worry, he's on his way
06:01What is the matter with you throwing eggs at Craig's front door?
06:06What are you talking about?
06:08I did it, I did it!
06:10You passed the test?
06:11I aced it
06:13You got five wrong!
06:14Yeah, but I got eleven right
06:16And that's good enough for my learner's permit
06:18Man, if the DMV was running my school, I'd be like a C student
06:22Well, congratulations
06:25Dad, you sent the check to the driving school, right?
06:28Yes, Rhys
06:29You sure you signed it, right?
06:30And it's not gonna bounce or anything
06:32Everything is fine, Rhys
06:34Just go there straight after school tomorrow
06:37You guys are the best
06:39I promise when you're old and crazy, I'll drive to the home and visit you
06:43Maybe we can go for a drive around the park
06:45Would you like that?
06:46What?
06:47I can't wait
06:52Why are you still here?
06:53Get over to Craig, start cleaning
06:55Mom, I didn't throw anything at his front door, I swear
06:59Malcolm, why would a grown man lie about something like that?
07:02I lied because I needed your help
07:05I finally got my insurance settlement
07:08This receiver works in both SRS 5.1 and DTS
07:13Unidirectional subwoofer for surround sound
07:17Progressive scan DVD player
07:20Plays both AIFF and MP3 formats on either CDs or CDRs
07:25I figured you'd be comfortable with this level of electronics
07:28I mean, the guys at the store couldn't find their graphic equalizers with two hands and a flashlight
07:34You dragged me over here to hook up your stereo?
07:37Can't you get one of your friends to help you do this?
07:39And tick off the other friends I didn't ask?
07:46Malcolm, this goes far beyond just a stereo
07:52This is going to be the greatest entertainment center ever
07:57Have you ever wanted to be the best at something?
08:00I mean, not just good
08:02I don't mean great
08:04I mean the absolute best
08:05I don't know
08:07Well, I have
08:09Ever since I was a kid watching Land of the Lost on my tiny black and white six inch
08:15I knew there'd be a day
08:17A day when I could create my own high-def universe
08:21A magical realm where fantasy and technology intersect on my every whim
08:27Because I am the king
08:29So, your lifelong dream was to become the world's best TV watcher?
08:35Yeah
08:38I'm in!
08:43I still can't believe it
08:45For the first time ever, I'm gonna be...
08:48Behind the wheel
08:51He keeps doing that
08:53Mom, I had to go to Craigs today after school
08:55You still have more to clean up?
08:58Yeah, I made a hell of a mess
09:00Hey, Dewey
09:02I want you to know there's no hard feelings about the last couple weeks
09:07Because you're gonna suffer every day for the next ten years
09:12Yeah, brand new
09:14Yeah, brand new
09:16College board got it for me
09:18Warm, are they?
09:19No
09:21Oh, this is awesome!
09:22Willie's grandson is really gonna love it
09:24Just remember, you gotta get that sled team out to Camp 3 for me before dark
09:28Yeah, yeah, absolutely
09:29You've driven dogs before, right?
09:30Because it gets pretty tricky
09:32What do I look like?
09:34Stop worrying
09:36Hey, Neil, you know how to drive a dog team, right?
09:39Yeah
09:41Do you still have a crush on Joe's sister?
09:43Yeah, but Joe won't let me date her just because I'm Irish
09:46And I got a bounty on my head
09:49Let me see what I can do
09:50Sorry!
09:53What?
09:55What?
09:57What?
09:59What?
10:01What?
10:03What?
10:04What?
10:06What?
10:08What?
10:09What?
10:11What?
10:12What?
10:13What?
10:14What?
10:15Sorry.
10:17Sorry.
10:27Sorry.
10:29Oh, sorry.
10:31I'm sorry.
10:35Oh, sorry.
10:37Damn it. I thought I paid this gas bill already.
10:41You're doing great. Turn right up here.
10:43I think you're ready for some street driving.
10:45What? Jackie's been driving for half an hour.
10:48Her turn is over.
10:49It's only been 10 minutes, Reese.
10:51No, it hasn't. I've been timing you.
10:53You've been driving exactly 27 minutes.
10:56You're gonna start using up my turn.
10:58When did you learn how to tell time?
11:00Face. It's digital.
11:02Oh, I can't believe I have to be in the same car as a lowlife like you.
11:05Oh, I'm a lowlife?
11:07You're the one that spends every day at lunch sucking on a straw that's been under my armpit.
11:12You pig!
11:14That's it. I've had it.
11:16I don't even know what text messaging is.
11:19How can they charge me 15 bucks a month for it?
11:25Malcolm, you can't connect those cables.
11:29Their impedance values aren't equal.
11:31You'll get a reflected transmission.
11:33That's what the high-speed scan modulation is for.
11:36Trust me.
11:37480p is more than enough to take care of it.
11:40But then I can't use the analog preamp to play my SACDs.
11:44You're tired. You're not thinking right.
11:46Did it ever occur to you that I might be using single-ended interconnects for the front, left, right speakers?
11:51Are you mad? You can't do that.
11:54Just watch me.
11:56I know it sounds weird, but this is the most fulfilling conversation I've had in weeks.
12:03Isn't there supposed to be some signal that tells the other cars to get out of the way?
12:08Does anyone see a thing of your one-cent stamps by their feet?
12:11It's been 45 minutes. I'm not going to get my turn.
12:14Okay, pull over.
12:21Finally.
12:22I just need to go to the post office.
12:25Oh, God. Look at that line.
12:28What are you doing? It's my turn.
12:31Oh, sorry, Reese. Doesn't look like we'll have enough time.
12:35But you've got very valuable watching experience.
12:39We'll get to you next week.
12:46Slide over.
12:47No way!
12:48Ugh!
12:55I at least get to drive back to the stupid school.
12:58I'm not going home without at least touching the steering wheel.
13:03What was that?
13:04You crashed.
13:05You crashed.
13:06No, I didn't.
13:07The car's not even in drive.
13:09Yeah, well, you're behind the wheel.
13:11What are you going to do now, hot shot?
13:16I'm so sorry.
13:17I...
13:18I'm so scared.
13:19Ahhhh!!!
13:33So, let's see.
13:35We've got Grand Theft Auto, malicious crashing, and what else?
13:39Oh yeah!
13:40Kidnapping me.
13:41I always knew you'd go to prison. I just figured to be after prom. Will you shut up and let me think about this?
13:47Do you realize you are driving 20 miles an hour on a freeway? Hey, I'm not getting a speeding ticket on top of everything else.
13:55Now will you just leave me alone for a couple minutes and let me figure this out?
13:58Ha! Okay. Don't panic. It's just a cop. That's nothing. You can handle one stupid cop.
14:16Oh, man.
14:19What are you doing? Aren't you pulling over?
14:22I don't know. I think I'm still going.
14:25Reese, if you're being chased by the cops and they say pull over, you have to do it. That's a law.
14:31Yeah, well, even so.
14:32You can't.
14:35You know, that's a really good plan, Reese.
14:39I just see one little problem with it.
14:42This is a driver's ed car.
14:47Those cheap sons of...
14:49There's no sense in agreement with me about Francis.
14:53I haven't seen him.
14:55I spent five hours digging postholes because he promised me a satellite dish.
15:00He promised me a satellite dish.
15:03And where the hell is my George Foreman grill?
15:06I'm just as mad as the rest of you.
15:08I'm pretty sure these teeth came off with a dead guy.
15:12He's like a Canadian.
15:14Well, he's still taking advantage of me, I can tell you that.
15:17Well, Pierre, your identical American cousin is in a heap of trouble.
15:30We...
15:30Another half turn.
15:35Easy.
15:36Easy.
15:37Don't strip it.
15:38Got it!
15:40It's beautiful.
15:41Now all you have to do is adjust it and we're done.
15:44Congratulations.
15:45I gotta admit, it was pretty hairy there, especially with those hub connectors.
15:49Stripping that extra quarter inch off the copper leads was inspired.
15:52I hardly even remember it.
15:54I was running on pure adrenaline.
15:58You know what, Craig?
15:59I gotta tell you.
16:00This was a lot of fun.
16:02I actually enjoyed spending time with you.
16:05You didn't have to lie to get me over here.
16:08Yes, I did.
16:10Yeah, okay.
16:11But you wouldn't now.
16:13I guess what I'm trying to say is...
16:16You know...
16:17I'm sorry for all the times we made you miserable.
16:22It's okay.
16:25You're a good guy.
16:27I like you.
16:32Run down and check the signal, will ya?
16:36Okay.
16:37And try not to screw it up.
16:43Buddy.
16:46We're getting 42%.
16:48Try moving the dish a little to the right.
16:52A little more.
16:5457.
16:56Up a little more.
16:5861.
16:59A low-speed chase involving a teenager, a driver's ed car, and what appears to be a hostage.
17:09It all happened so fast.
17:11He just took off.
17:12With my checkbook.
17:14And all my financial papers in the car.
17:17That's not an excuse.
17:19I just hope that B of A understands the situation.
17:23Although the hostage seems to be unharmed, it's only a matter of time before the police decide to end it.
17:29One way or the other.
17:31Oh, no.
17:32We're on the line.
17:33They're never gonna let me drive.
17:35How's it looking?
17:41How's it looking?
17:43Malcolm?
17:45Malcolm!
17:47I can't hear you.
17:51You're not watching without me, are you?
17:54Malcolm!
18:04Malcolm!
18:10Just let me talk to a woman.
18:12I can end this in five minutes.
18:15I'm sorry, ma'am.
18:16I don't think that's a good idea.
18:18We have trained psychologists to handle kids in these situations.
18:22We know how they think.
18:23Think?
18:24My son doesn't think.
18:25He's just driving around in circles.
18:27He's made three laps around the city already.
18:31There's our dry cleaner again.
18:33There's another picture of my brother he can show on TV.
18:38Just get him on the phone and let me handle this.
18:42I'm the only one who knows how.
18:44Trust me.
18:44We have this under control.
18:46Don't think I don't know what's gonna happen.
18:49You're gonna do your standard police thing and my son is gonna get killed in a hail of
18:53gunfire.
18:54Ma'am, that almost never happens.
18:57Just get him on the phone!
19:02He's already gone.
19:03And you tell him if he ever wants to see daylight again, he'll pull over this instant!
19:09Your mother wants you to know that she loves you and...
19:13He has ten seconds to pull over that damn car or I will...
19:17Give you lots of hugs and kisses!
19:20You heard your mom.
19:21You're not in trouble.
19:22Donald, can you pull over now?
19:25That's not my mom.
19:36Please, dear God.
19:38I know I haven't been a saint, but I swear if you...
19:41No, Daddy, this is not my fault.
19:51I'm just a passenger.
19:54How is this making you look like a chump?
19:56I'm the one...
19:57Hold on.
20:01Hello?
20:03No!
20:04No, I'm on the other line.
20:05If you want to talk to him so bad, use the bullhorn thingy.
20:08Hi, I'm back.
20:12No, I was not talking to Mom.
20:14It was the...
20:15Daddy, I don't care who she's...
20:18No, I will not tell her.
20:21You have to stop putting me in...
20:24Go ahead.
20:26Y'all, go ahead.
20:27Cancel the card.
20:27Cancel all my cards.
20:30I'm going to be in this car for the rest of my life anyway.
20:34Okay, I've got an idea.
20:36What?
20:36There's a railroad crossing about a mile head.
20:39If we jump out a split second before the train squashes the car,
20:43we can start new lives as circus people.
20:46Reese, come on.
20:47This is getting scary.
20:49What are you going to do?
20:54This is your last warning.
20:57Pull over or you will be forced from the road.
21:02Jackie, I have to tell you something.
21:04Just because I hate you doesn't mean I'm not sorry.
21:08What?
21:09I didn't mean to get you into this.
21:12It's just that I'm not...
21:13You know, I'm not very smart.
21:16So when I get in trouble, I panic and then I do things that make it worse.
21:19I'm really sorry.
21:22And your dad is a tool.
21:26Hey, I was just kidding about the kidnapping thing.
21:29I mean, you have enough to worry about without me being a jerk about it, right?
21:36Wait a second.
21:38Jackie, give me your phone.
21:40I have a brother who's a total genius.
21:42He'll know what to do.
21:43How many police cars are chasing you?
21:46I don't know.
21:47Eight, maybe nine.
21:49What are we going to do?
21:49There's no way out of this.
21:51Hey, don't give up.
21:52Sometimes things look their darkest right before the sun breaks.
21:55And sometimes you just have to realize that the game is over.
22:10And that you've lost.
22:13The...
22:13The only thing left to do is to stop running, stand up, and face the consequences like a
22:27man, and...
22:35And even if the outcome is going to be more horrible than you could have possibly imagined,
22:39you could hold your head up high, show some class, and end it with dignity.
22:50Class.
22:51For the love of God!
22:52Not to stop, ruiner!
22:54No!
22:58Where is he going?
23:01He's turning.
23:09The faster we're falling, we're stopping and stalling, we're running in circles again.
23:22Just as things were looking up, you said it wasn't good enough.
23:28But still we're trying one more time.
23:31Maybe we're just trying too hard
23:36When really it's closer than it is too far
23:40Wow, nice!
23:43It was.
23:55Okay, that's impressive.
23:57Look, he's pulling over!
23:58I think he's going to parallel park!
24:05No way!
24:07The spot is way too small!
24:08He's going too fast and he hasn't given himself enough space on the right!
24:18He did it!
24:20Now just get out of the damn car, please!
24:24Reese, that was amazing!
24:25Amazing!
24:28Listen, when the kids at school ask you about this, tell them I got under your bra.
24:35I'll call the lawyer and have him meet us then.
24:45Give him a reason.
24:58Give him a reason.
25:01The suspect appears to be resisting.
25:04Oh, looks like they're taking out the pepper spray.
25:06Why do we have to get dressed like this?
25:14It's Reese's hearing.
25:15Because when the judge looks over at us, I want him to see that Reese comes from a respectable family that loves him very much.
25:22Why aren't they trying him as an adult?
25:25Come on, we gotta go.
25:26I have to go to Craig's after.
25:28Jelly Bean is getting his cast off and he wants me to videotape it.
25:31Craig's talking already?
25:33Good for him.
25:34I was really creeped out about that whole one blink yes, two blinks no stuff.
25:38No, you got it the other way around, hell.
25:40One blink means no.
25:42So the soup was too hot.
26:12You got it the other way around, hell.
26:20Won't you see him called me?
26:30Helloとか.
26:32Getrom's talking every single time.
26:33Thank you so much for watching.
26:34I hope you liked that.
26:36Watch the police.