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It's really hard being a single parent when the other is on the front fighting for his country... Watch this #Supernanny emotional episode and tell us what you think about it!
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00:01Well, I'm here in Michigan, so let's take a look
00:03and see what family needs my help this week.
00:05Hi, we're the Martinez family.
00:07Hi, I'm Michelle.
00:08I'm Sindhu.
00:09We have three children, Sindhu, who's nine.
00:14Ashley, who's seven.
00:16Mikey, who's six.
00:19My husband Sindhu is a civilian contractor working in Iraq.
00:23My wife, she's basically a single parent
00:26because I'm gone all the time, and while I'm not here,
00:29she gets run over by the kids.
00:31Stop!
00:33Open the door, Sindhu.
00:35Why?
00:36Because I asked you to.
00:41So hostile in this house.
00:43When you're trying to raise kids
00:45and then you're worrying about your spouse,
00:47it takes a lot out.
00:48I sit and cry, and I lose it so easily.
00:51Get it cleaned now.
00:53Okay!
00:54You two quit.
00:56Get up and go eat now.
00:58Mom looks like she's just existing.
01:01At this point, I'm feeling like I'm lost.
01:04I am so stressed.
01:06I said stop!
01:08Ow!
01:10Are you kicking me?
01:11No!
01:12When their father left for the first time,
01:16that's when Ashley and Sindhu's behavior started.
01:19Ashley's behavior started.
01:20Do not try to head-pot me.
01:25No!
01:26Ashley's behavior in public is very out of control.
01:29She throws herself on the floor
01:31and throws a complete temper tantrum.
01:33I don't mind it.
01:34Get!
01:39Will you break it?
01:44Look at these two going for it.
01:45Ashley!
01:46Mom!
01:47I'm gone for a period of five months,
01:49four to five months.
01:50When Sindhu's away, it's hard.
01:54I worry about my husband.
01:56I worry he's gonna get killed.
01:58He's gonna get hurt.
01:59I have a hard time when people ring the doorbell,
02:02because you wonder if somebody's coming to the door.
02:05To let you know your husband's been hurt,
02:08or he's not coming home, that is enough!
02:11Super Nanny, I am about to leave to Iraq again.
02:14Please help my wife to get a better control of the kids.
02:18Super Nanny, please help me.
02:20I'm at the end of my ropes,
02:21and I would love to have some peace and harmony in my house.
02:25Mom, I know you're desperate for help.
02:27Just hang on in there, because I am on my way.
02:41Hello!
02:44Hi!
02:45How are you?
02:46Pleased to meet you, Michelle.
02:47How are you?
02:48Good, very well, thank you.
02:50Hi, Mikey.
02:51Hi.
02:52Can I say hello?
02:54Hi, pleased to meet you.
02:56And how old are you?
02:58You're six.
03:00When Jo first walked in the door, I was like,
03:03am I in a dream?
03:04Am I gonna wake up?
03:05Is this real?
03:06Hi, Ashley.
03:07Pleased to meet you.
03:08I'm JoJo.
03:09How are you?
03:10Good.
03:11I am gonna really take note of what's going on here,
03:12so that I can get to the bottom of things with you, okay?
03:13Okay.
03:14When I first arrived at the Martinez household,
03:15I learnt that dad had already been in Iraq for a month,
03:16which left Michelle to raise the kids single-handedly,
03:18and I could tell that emotionally she just wasn't holding up.
03:21Ashley, turn the hell around and shut up!
03:23What?
03:24What?
03:25What?
03:26What?
03:27What?
03:28What?
03:29What?
03:30What?
03:31What?
03:32What?
03:33What?
03:34What?
03:35What?
03:36What?
03:37What?
03:38What?
03:39What?
03:42What?
03:43What?
03:44What?
03:44What?
03:45What's going on and shut up!
03:46Knock it off!
03:47Keep it up, and you're gonna get it.
03:48Knock it off!
03:51Look at me.
03:52I want you to zip the lip.
03:54And do not say another thing.
03:57Look at me.
03:59In the corner. In the corner. In the corner.
04:02Sindo, get in the other corner.
04:05After watching Mikey and Sindo get punished,
04:08I really felt that Mom's emotions were making her overreact.
04:12Turn around now.
04:17Mom dealt with her boys' behavior,
04:19but it wasn't long after they were out of timeout
04:21that she had to deal with her daughter Ashley's behavior too.
04:24I got nine.
04:26You know you didn't?
04:27Yes!
04:28No.
04:29You had one.
04:30No, I'm not!
04:32No, you didn't.
04:33Yes!
04:34No.
04:35Yes!
04:35No.
04:36I feel like I'm watching two kids.
04:41No, yes, no, yes, no.
04:42You're like, someone grow up and deal with this situation.
04:46All right, you're done.
04:48Get up and go to your room.
04:51My relationship with Ashley is kind of a rough road.
04:54Get up.
04:56Get up.
04:57Mom chooses to vent her frustration and helplessness out on Ashley.
05:05All you want to do is scream and yell.
05:07So now guess what?
05:08You're going to have to sit in your room.
05:10No!
05:10It's very difficult for mum to focus daily on raising the kids because she's constantly
05:23distracted with the worry of her husband being away.
05:25She wakes up in the morning waiting to receive an email from Sindo.
05:31She's waiting, waiting, and sometimes there's not an email there.
05:34But how does that feel, like, when you keep going on and then you look and there's nothing there?
05:40If I can get an email every day, it would make my day instead of whenever I can get it, you know.
05:46But I guess whenever I get an email, I should just be happy.
05:49To stay in touch with my husband, Sindo, it's very important to me.
05:54But the phone calls and the emails, sometimes there could be many days in between, and then I start emailing him crazy.
06:02What's going on?
06:03You think you get used to it, but you don't get used to him being gone.
06:07It's like, like I go to bed and I wake up and I roll over and look and I think he's there.
06:13Oh, it was just a dream.
06:14He's not there.
06:16It's challenging and it gets very hard at times because I love him so much.
06:28Later that day, Michel's son, Sindo Jr., spoke the truth about how he was treated.
06:33Junior, man, he said, I don't like you.
06:37I don't like your behavior.
06:39No, you said, I don't like you.
06:40Yeah, I don't have to like you. I have to, I love you.
06:43So how do you feel then when Mommy says that?
06:45Makes me mad and makes me sad.
06:48You feel sad because you think what?
06:50Because he doesn't like us.
06:51Hearing the truth from Sindo Jr. leaves Mom feeling really frustrated and distraught.
06:57No!
06:58You're not cutting it out.
07:00I will take the dang thing from you and throw it in the trash can.
07:03How's that?
07:04Mom!
07:05Then stop!
07:06We have a mother that's lost control and she's taking her frustrations overboard on the kids
07:11when they misbehave.
07:12She shouts and she yells and the kids respond back the same way.
07:16Pick all the paper up.
07:17I need to draw.
07:18Now!
07:19Ashley!
07:21Ashley, do not go in that basement and start cutting up.
07:23Ashley!
07:24The love of Pete!
07:25Ashley!
07:26Ashley!
07:26Ashley!
07:26Ashley!
07:27Ashley!
07:27Ashley!
07:28Ashley!
07:28Ashley!
07:29Ashley!
07:29Ashley!
07:29Ashley!
07:29Ashley!
07:29Ashley!
07:30Ashley!
07:31The way she reacts to the children shows me where she's at mentally.
07:35She's overwhelmed.
07:36She is at breaking point.
07:38She has no control and she's falling apart at the seams.
07:41Michelle was still in tears and she was back checking the emails when the phone started
07:53to ring.
07:53PHONE RINGS
07:54Hello?
07:55Hi, honey.
07:56Michelle hasn't spoke to her husband for a while and once mum heard Sindo's voice, her
08:06whole mood changed dramatically.
08:09And I just realized that emotionally, she's on this rollercoaster every day.
08:17You know the answer to that one.
08:19Mikey was throwing punches at Sindo.
08:23Yeah, Mikey.
08:24Mikey.
08:26Mikey.
08:27Come here.
08:28Daddy.
08:29Yes, Daddy.
08:30Are you being mean to by us?
08:32Yeah.
08:33They can't be mean.
08:35Hi, Sindo.
08:36It's Joe Frost here.
08:37Supernanny.
08:38How you doing, ma'am?
08:39I'm very well, thank you.
08:40And yourself?
08:41I'm all right.
08:42I'm good.
08:43How frustrating is it for you, being where you are?
08:47Being here, I can tell all the kids we hate.
08:51Be back!
08:52Thank you, ma'am.
08:53It's just we hang up.
08:54We have to eat mischievous again.
08:56Mum's at home with the three kids and Dad's in Iraq working.
09:01And the emotional turmoil that they go through pulls on all of their hearts.
09:06And they're like thousands of other families at the moment.
09:09How worrying is it for you, knowing that you have a wife who is worried constantly about
09:18your safety?
09:19Well, I'm going to leave you to speak to me show alone.
09:30Lovely to speak to you.
09:32Take care.
09:33Be safe.
09:34The calls are far and few between.
09:36But when he does call, it's important to me because I know when I answer that phone,
09:40he's alive.
09:41And I know he's okay.
09:43Daddy says group hug.
09:45Bye!
09:46Group hug!
09:47Group hug.
09:48Group hug.
09:49Group hug.
09:51Love you.
09:53I miss you too.
09:55Bye.
09:56Bye.
09:57During Mum's phone call with Dad, I could see there's certainly love in this house.
10:01But Mum needs to bring joy to her family as well.
10:04And not just when Dad calls.
10:05How does that feel?
10:07Is that...?
10:08It feels good to talk to him.
10:10To tell him I love him.
10:15Well, I'm going to leave you to get on with bath time then.
10:17Okay.
10:18Okay?
10:19I feel very encouraged about us sitting down tomorrow and having a family meeting.
10:23And it was absolutely brilliant as well to be able to speak to Sindhu.
10:26Highlight of my day today.
10:28Exactly.
10:29You feel that sense of, oh, I spoke to him.
10:31It feels great.
10:32And then you start to roll down emotionally.
10:34Do you feel yourself on that emotional rollercoaster with him?
10:37Yes.
10:38It's like a very bad rollercoaster that I would like to get off sometimes.
10:41Goodnight.
10:43Children, goodnight.
10:44Goodnight.
10:45Goodnight.
10:46See you tomorrow.
10:47I feel for Michelle.
10:48Her anxiety is understandable in this situation.
10:51But it doesn't change the fact that her kids need their mum present.
10:56I really cannot wait to have this family meeting with Michelle.
11:07Michelle, let's get to the point.
11:09You have a husband who's in Iraq.
11:11He's home four weeks out of a year.
11:16You have three beautiful children.
11:19You're raising them single-handedly.
11:21Yes.
11:22And it's scary.
11:24Right now, you're just existing.
11:26Everything evolves around getting that email from Dad.
11:29It makes your behaviour irrational.
11:31You can't live on that nervous energy of, he may die tomorrow.
11:36We can't change the fact that your husband is in Iraq.
11:39But what we can do is take responsibility in what we need to do at home.
11:43That's why I want you here to help me be a stronger person.
11:47Instead of right now feeling like I'm very weak and I have no control.
11:51Because the things that you're wanting control of, you have no control of right now.
11:56And that's not to say I don't understand.
11:59You and thousands and thousands of other women are in the same boat.
12:04I don't want you to feel apologetic for how you're feeling.
12:07You miss him, you love him.
12:09However, Michelle, the jeopardy is your kids.
12:14I'm willing to change it so I'm not a mess for my kids.
12:19So let's talk with clarity about the issues that I see that need to be addressed.
12:25Okay.
12:27The way you respond to the kids is military.
12:31You start to yell, you scream, you show a loss of control.
12:35It's really harsh.
12:37And I don't want to do that anymore.
12:39It's about decisions and it's about how you choose to respond to the children.
12:43Learn how to manage your emotions.
12:47To not let it overwhelm you so that you start to become irrational.
12:52You're in charge.
12:54You're the mother of the house.
12:55They're your kids.
12:57Which brings me to the next point.
12:59Let's talk about discipline.
13:00You behave by trying to control the situation with discipline that's ineffective.
13:04I mean, what's that doing?
13:06Nothing.
13:07Nothing.
13:08And at the end of the day, all you do is undermine yourself.
13:11You undermine yourself when you pick up the phone and you say,
13:14right, Dad wants to talk to you.
13:15What's Dad going to do?
13:16He's in Iraq.
13:18What is Dad going to do right now?
13:20Nothing.
13:21So the kid punches you.
13:22What's Dad going to do?
13:23Nothing.
13:24So the kids won't listen to you and pick up their toys from the floor.
13:25What's Dad going to do?
13:26Nothing.
13:27Right.
13:28What are you going to do?
13:29Nothing.
13:30Who's going to help the kids then?
13:32Nobody.
13:33He's how many miles away?
13:36I need to start making better choices.
13:38You need to have more respect for yourself.
13:41And know that you shouldn't have to tolerate that behaviour.
13:44And that you will be strong enough to take care of this.
13:46And that you can do it.
13:48Let's talk about the kids' activities and the things that they do.
13:52The energy needs to be more uplifted.
13:55To have their friends come round and to have a little tea party or to have them stay over
14:00would really just bring a lot of life into your house.
14:03It's fun.
14:05Recognise that regardless to you feeling emotional,
14:09that you have three kids that depend on you every day.
14:15Let's put our mind where it needs to be focused, okay?
14:18And let's cheer on ourselves, knuckle down and let's change it, yeah?
14:22Yes.
14:23Right, let's get to work.
14:27It's really important to get Michelle feeling like she's in control.
14:31I know she gets anxious, but what I want her to do is to start to relax
14:36so we can implement some effective techniques.
14:39So the first thing we're going to do is put in some house rules.
14:42Listen, do as you're told.
14:44And by listening we mean to stop what we're doing
14:47and to look at mum when she's talking to us.
14:50Use your manners.
14:52Mikey, find a tissue when you're picking your nose.
14:56Now that the kids know the house rules,
14:58it's important for them to know the consequences should they break them.
15:02Mum will come down to your height and with a very low tone voice,
15:06she will say, stop that behavior right now.
15:10If you chose not to be good and you carried on,
15:12you will end up on a naughty bench.
15:14I'm tired of all the yelling at my house.
15:16I think my mum's going to be calmer at the naughty bench in the house rules.
15:20What we are going to do this evening is we are going to go to the ice hockey practice
15:26and you are going to be aware of how you communicate,
15:29the words that you use and your tone of voice.
15:32Once we got to the hockey ring, we were watching Sindo practice and Ashley put mum to the test.
15:44I want popcorn.
15:47No.
15:50Ashley.
15:53Look at me.
15:54Look, Ashley.
15:56Ashley is really bad with tantrums and if I could get that under control,
16:00I would take them more places.
16:02I would do more things.
16:04Hey, nice sir.
16:07No.
16:08I thought it was about time to show Michelle exactly how to handle Ashley out in public.
16:13Come here.
16:14Right here.
16:15Now.
16:16Stop that behavior.
16:17Right now.
16:18If you carry on, you will sit right there.
16:20Do you understand me?
16:21In that corner.
16:22Now you behave yourself.
16:24That's your warning.
16:25Off you go.
16:27It's your tone.
16:29She sees straight away that you're serious.
16:31If she's doing this, take her away.
16:33Come down.
16:34Eye contact.
16:35Tell her.
16:36All right?
16:37You've been in control.
16:38Okay.
16:39After teaching mum how to be firm but in control, Mikey wouldn't get off the ice.
16:42So mum had more practice.
16:44You've already told Mikey twice and he's not listening.
16:47So what are you going to now tell him?
16:48What should you be telling him?
16:49It's boundaries.
16:50It's rules.
16:51You disobeyed me.
16:52I asked you to stay off the ice, right?
16:54Okay.
16:55So I want you to go stand up against the wall.
16:58The more she gains control, the more she'll feel confident.
17:02And hopefully she'll lower the volume on her voice.
17:05Do you know why I put you in here?
17:07Because I asked you to stay off the ice, right?
17:09It's a new step for me in discipline.
17:15It makes me feel good that I can have that certain tone with my voice and the kids listen
17:22listen to me.
17:23With Misha now feeling more confident my next move was to show her that dad is only a click
17:33away.
17:34So I had a little surprise for her.
17:35Um, so there is something that I do want to show you.
17:38I would like you to say hello to your husband.
17:43He can see you on this webcam.
17:47When I walked into the den and seen my husband's face on the computer I was blown away.
17:53I was speechless.
17:55Wow, you look beautiful.
17:58I love you.
17:59I love you too.
18:00I miss you.
18:01I miss you too.
18:02With today's technology it's really easy for families to stay in touch.
18:07With an inexpensive webcam and some free software, it was easy for Misha and Sindo to feel connected.
18:14What I want you both to talk about is how you are going to support one another with being
18:20on the same page for when you come home.
18:23I'm gonna correct the problems with myself and I'm gonna get the kids on track or a happier
18:29family.
18:30But you gotta also agree to work with me.
18:33I gotta follow the rules you got in place and support you more.
18:38With the webcam, I think it's gonna be a better way to communicate with him because
18:42we can all personally sit down and talk to him like he's sitting in front of us.
18:47So, you wanna see your baby chickens?
18:49Ah, yes, please.
18:50All right.
18:51And up the kids came with their eyes closed, not knowing what they were going to see or
18:59hear.
19:00Okay, you come here.
19:01Yep.
19:02All right, open.
19:03Daddy!
19:04Daddy!
19:05Daddy!
19:06Daddy!
19:07Daddy!
19:08Daddy!
19:09Daddy!
19:10Daddy!
19:11It was a lovely moment, just being able to watch the kids talk to their dads and telling
19:16their silly jokes as they do.
19:17Can I get a group hug?
19:21For him to say group hug and he was able to see it, I think that made his day and it made
19:25my day too, that we could show him we're doing his group hug for him to put that smile
19:30on his face.
19:32Now quit licking.
19:33I feel good when we all give a group hug.
19:37Now I can see my dad whenever I want.
19:40All right, big hug.
19:41Big hug.
19:42Big hug.
19:43The webcam is a really great idea because it will allow the whole family to see Sinzo's
19:48face when he calls but at the same time I set up a web page for this family so each
19:55one of the children can feel that they're emotionally able to connect with their dad.
19:59This website has been designed for the whole of your family so that when dad logs on he's
20:04able to be able to get personal messages from the kids.
20:06It's another way of being able to keep in contact with him but also to keep him updated
20:11with the things that's happening.
20:13It's all about tracking the behavior, the good things that are coming out of each day.
20:17To have this website and the kids being able to sit down and express whatever they're
20:21thinking at that moment to their father personally.
20:24I think it's going to be a better way to communicate with him.
20:27Is that cool?
20:29We have our own website.
20:32We can type my dad letters and stuff.
20:34I feel a little closer to my dad than we were before.
20:38Now if we click onto this next one here, you'll see that this is one of quite a few ways
20:46websites that allow us to connect with other parents who have a loved one being deployed.
20:53You do sometimes think, well, there's nobody going through what I am.
20:57It's something new to have some communication with people who understand are going through what I am.
21:03You can share advice and feelings and it helps you to not feel so alone in this situation.
21:09Right.
21:11As we all know, the internet has a wide range of resources for us and we're taking advantage of that.
21:18The next day, it was time to put mom to the test.
21:30So I came up with two big challenges for her to face.
21:33And the first one would be to take Ashley back out in public to see exactly how she would deal with that.
21:40Ashley, come back here.
21:41When we pulled up to the bounce house, I was like, oh no.
21:45I just thought we're going to go in there and she's not going to want to leave.
21:49So I was a bit scared that she was going to flip out.
21:59It was fun.
22:00It was, the kids loved it.
22:01I loved it.
22:02I loved being able to get out there and play with them.
22:06It was a unique experience.
22:08Ashley was having so much fun that mom thought she might throw a fit when it was time to leave.
22:20So I decided to arm mom with some tips to avoid this.
22:24We're going to be the speaking clock.
22:26All right?
22:27So we give them a warning always.
22:29Okay?
22:30The speaking clock.
22:31Give them a time in which everything's going to wrap up when we're going to leave.
22:34Halfway through, remind them of that time.
22:37Ashley, you have six minutes and we're leaving.
22:41When Joe told me it was time to start doing the countdown and start rounding up the kids,
22:46I thought, oh, this is not going to go over well.
22:49Ashley, three more minutes.
22:51Ashley, three more minutes.
22:54She just ran off.
22:56We got down to the three minute mark and I told them Ashley ran from me.
23:00I was like, it's going to be bad and I'm going to be embarrassed.
23:03Yeah, get yourself ready and then at least then, they're not never waiting for you.
23:06When the time is up to make sure that she's ready first and then able to clip the kids all together.
23:13Ashley, it's time to go.
23:15I was very nervous about telling Ashley if we're going to be leaving.
23:21I was waiting for an eruption of a tantrum.
23:26It's time to go. Let's go.
23:30We'll come back another day.
23:31Reassure the children that they are going to come back another time and enjoy themselves.
23:35If the ultimate happens where they do end up having a meltdown, take the child by the hand and remove them from that circumstance, shoes and socks and all.
23:44You rounded them all up and then you gave them expectations for their behavior that you wanted to see.
23:49And we have three kids with a coat and a hat on and ready to go.
23:52And no temper tantrum.
23:54You did well.
23:56That worked well.
23:57Oh my.
23:58She didn't have a tantrum and it felt good not to drag her out of there kicking and screaming.
24:03And it was a big relief that, wow, you know, we can do these things now.
24:10You did very good today.
24:18Hello.
24:19Hello.
24:20Someone's having a party tonight.
24:23The bounce house was a big success, but the next challenge may prove itself to be a little bit more difficult for Michelle.
24:31I wanted to throw a party to see if mum could remain calm with not one, not two, but five extra kids in her house.
24:43The kids were dead excited.
24:46And they got hold of the streamers and they started to throw those up in the air so that it would look decorative in the sitting room.
24:54Remove your glassware and place it up above because, you know, accidents do happen, so.
25:01Setting up for the party and decorating and that, it was, it felt kind of good.
25:06And then the doorbell started ringing and the kids were coming in.
25:09I'm like, what did I get myself into?
25:12If the adults had gone, I would lock the door so, you know, you've got everyone inside.
25:15And I would give some ground rules.
25:17For mum to feel like she can manage all of these kids in her house, it's going to be really important for mum to lay down some rules for these kids so they know exactly what's expected of them.
25:28Can I have everybody's attention?
25:30I have locked the door, so that means I don't want anybody going outside.
25:34I don't want anybody being mean to each other.
25:37I want everybody to have fun and enjoy themselves.
25:41Okay?
25:42With eight kids partying in her house, the question would be, could Michelle stay in control?
25:50I had a hard time handling three kids and to have this party and have eight kids.
25:55I was a nervous wreck because they have eight kids running amok in your house.
25:59Oh my goodness, mum.
26:03Oh!
26:05Everything went pop!
26:07And shattered.
26:11And when the lamp broke, I thought, this is it.
26:14How is mum going to react to this?
26:19I got scared when I hit a light and it burnt out and shattered on my bed.
26:24Shattered on the ground.
26:25It's okay.
26:26It's okay.
26:27It's okay.
26:28It's an accident.
26:29I thought my mum was only yelling at me, but she was calm.
26:31It's fine.
26:32It's okay.
26:33It was an accident.
26:34It's fine.
26:35It can be fixed, okay?
26:36It feels good now to say, let it go.
26:39It's a mess.
26:40It can be cleaned up.
26:41See?
26:42All about her, huh?
26:43For Michelle not to overreact, when Cinzo broke that lamp, proved to me that she really had
26:49moved on a long way from where we were before.
26:54Yellow!
26:55I think it was very rewarding for mum to see her kids so happy with their friends.
27:01She was really having a lot of fun.
27:05Marky!
27:06It's been a long time since I've laughed and enjoyed having fun with the kids and just letting
27:12loose.
27:15It's been a long time since we had fun in our house.
27:19I want to be that more often.
27:21Oh yeah!
27:22Come on!
27:23Give me the rest!
27:24Give me the rest!
27:25It was really fun!
27:27You all right?
27:28Yes, it's just I'm...
27:29You're becoming ever emotional.
27:30I'm starting to feel better about myself, that I can better handle situations, so it
27:35feels so good to cry of joy instead of being sad.
27:40I'm getting to the point where I can start having the best relationship with my kids,
27:45and my heart is just like ready to burst because it's so ex... I'm so ecstatic right
27:50now.
27:51That's a good thing!
27:52I'm so ecstatic!
27:53Mom's done really well whilst I've been there, but I'm going away for a few days.
27:56So it's going to be really important that Mum keeps relaxed, because if she doesn't,
28:00it could just start to tumble down.
28:02Enjoy your evening!
28:03Bye!
28:04See you there!
28:05Bye!
28:06See you later!
28:07Bye!
28:08Bye!
28:09Bye!
28:10Bye!
28:11After being away from the family for three days, I was certainly anxious to see how this
28:22family has got on without me.
28:24There's something here for you to watch.
28:26I'm very curious to take a look at this with you, so that we can see exactly where we need
28:32to put you on track and where you've done well.
28:35Let's start with the first one here.
28:37I want to type.
28:38All right.
28:39Daniel's was back?
28:40I don't know.
28:41Go in there and let me see.
28:42You did.
28:43Let's see what's mine.
28:44It says, hello, big boy.
28:45Listen and help Mama, please.
28:46Good luck in the game, and remember, as long as you have fun playing, you have won.
28:59You can have an outlet with Daddy, and he understands.
29:03You like this now, huh?
29:04Yeah.
29:05Even though Sindo is thousands of miles away, you've got young Sindo here expressing how
29:12he's feeling.
29:13He's still having that father-son bonding.
29:15Yeah, you bet.
29:16And it gives them the privacy of having those intimate conversations, because he will respond
29:24separately rather than the big family email.
29:26Right.
29:27That's perfect.
29:28That's perfect.
29:31Here's your warning.
29:33You keep your hands to yourself and your not-so-nice words.
29:37I gave you a warning about the nasty words coming out of your mouth, so now you know what
29:42the consequences are.
29:44I'm on the naughty bench.
29:46Yes, come on, let's go.
29:49I put you on the naughty bench because I warned you about the not-nice words.
29:53Right?
29:54Right?
29:55Yeah.
29:56Tell me, Mama.
29:58It was wonderfully executed there, though.
30:01It really was.
30:02You did very well.
30:03You kept your composure.
30:05You were very calm.
30:06You followed the steps.
30:08Usually, if I would've put them in a time-out, the screaming, I'd be like,
30:12Oh, Jess, knock it off.
30:13Be quiet.
30:14You didn't yell.
30:15You just kept your composure.
30:16That's what I'm talking about.
30:17That's brilliant.
30:18I need you to go upstairs and be quiet.
30:22I need you to go upstairs and brush your teeth.
30:24I know you didn't brush them this morning, and you need to get them brushed.
30:27OK?
30:28Go brush your teeth for me, please.
30:29No.
30:30Please?
30:31Nah.
30:32You need to go brush your teeth.
30:33That's a baby.
30:35That's my own teeth.
30:37You think the Tooth Fairy wants rotten, nasty-looking teeth?
30:40You won't get no money.
30:42Now brush them teeth.
30:44Here.
30:47Get them brushed.
30:48He's trying to make his teeth bad on purpose.
30:50I'm trying to get him over that whole thing.
30:52Well, if my teeth fall out, then he'll get money from the Tooth Fairy, and that's why I told him the Tooth Fairy doesn't want nasty, gross-looking teeth.
30:59So we need to set the story straight here with the teeth.
31:02OK.
31:03OK.
31:04OK.
31:05That's me.
31:06Take a minute, guys, please.
31:09Mikey, where is your finger?
31:22Oh.
31:23Look at him.
31:24I have never seen him do that.
31:27Oh.
31:28Are you kidding me?
31:30Serious?
31:31I seriously need to buckle down.
31:33The kids do need to learn about manners and to be able to refrain from this kind of behaviour, because that isn't good at all.
31:45OK.
31:46We're going to take a look here at Sindo's behaviour and how he talks to you.
31:53You ready for her?
31:55What did you call me?
31:57Look at that plumber right there.
31:58Look at that plumber right there.
32:00Be nice.
32:02Be nice.
32:03You look like a witch.
32:04Just say that.
32:05You look like an old lady.
32:07Because you're trying to hide the greatness.
32:10Be kind and respectful to another.
32:13Are you being kind and respecting me right now?
32:16There is a way in which one can talk that's tactful or not.
32:19OK.
32:20And teaching Sindo how to be respectful is key here.
32:25Because he's being disrespectful.
32:26It's boundaries.
32:27It's boundaries.
32:28Let me tell you something.
32:30I think you have done remarkably well and you have come a very long way.
32:35A very long way.
32:36But we are on a long road here.
32:39Let's not forget that.
32:40We need to take care of that last bit to take you to that next level.
32:45So can I take this and can we get on with some work?
32:47Yes.
32:48Good.
32:52With the house definitely under control, I knew that I could move on to teaching this family some simple basics.
32:58Watching the DVD led me to quiz these children on manners.
33:03First one is this.
33:05Mikey can't keep his fingers out of his nose.
33:10What does he need?
33:12Me, me, me.
33:13Me, me, me.
33:14Mikey.
33:15Tissue.
33:16A tissue.
33:17Yes.
33:18One for you.
33:19Remember it.
33:20OK.
33:21Me, me, me.
33:22Of course they know their manners.
33:24They just choose to be slack when it suits them.
33:27But it was good.
33:28I was animated.
33:29The kids laughed and joked about it.
33:31And let's face it.
33:32They knew a lot.
33:33Sindo starts calling you.
33:35Oh, that word flubber.
33:37Sindo, what should mom do?
33:40Give me a warning.
33:41Because I'm calling her flubber.
33:43And there's no one of the rules are no one named Colin.
33:46Yeah.
33:47So is that right or wrong?
33:48What you did?
33:49Wrong.
33:50For my kids to answer those questions right, I was like, oh, they get it.
33:55Looks like you all know.
33:57We won.
33:58Yes, you did.
33:59Give me five.
34:00Yes, you did.
34:01You passed the test.
34:02Give me five.
34:03Give me five.
34:04Give me five.
34:05Yeah.
34:07I think the kids have got the gist when it comes to manners.
34:10But there's still one issue I do need to address.
34:13That's teeth brushing.
34:15We brush twice a day.
34:17We get our toothbrush.
34:19We angle it.
34:21We brush in round motions.
34:24JoJo is so fun, I can laugh.
34:28When our big teeth do push through and we lose our baby teeth, Mikey, who comes along and takes that tooth?
34:35Tooth Fairy.
34:36Yeah.
34:37Mikey's under the impression that the tooth fairy takes decayed teeth.
34:40See, you not wanting to brush your teeth because you want the tooth fairy to take it, the tooth fairy will know.
34:47Mikey's like this.
34:48He was thinking in his head, I need to make smart choices because the tooth fairy is going to find out.
34:54The tooth fairy said, I'm not going to take that tooth because that didn't fall out naturally.
34:59My kids really do now get it, that it's important and it's not just about the tooth fairy.
35:12Before it was time for me to leave, we sat down in front of the webcam and I gave Dad a detailed report on how well his family were doing.
35:19She also gave the kids a chance to goof around and have some fun with Dad.
35:28Listen, listen, listen.
35:29Daddy, I need to tell you something.
35:31After, let me have two minutes of...
35:34All right, listen, you guys can tell you what you have to say.
35:38Give Mama a couple of minutes, okay?
35:40So she gave them a clear warning about their behavior and told them they would leave if they misbehaved.
35:45But Ashley didn't like being told off and she went to the sofas to sulk for a while.
35:49Go.
35:50Go.
35:51No.
35:52And listen, and I told you.
35:57She'll be fine.
35:58Ashley was mad, but you know, to handle it the way I did, it felt good to let Ashley know, hey, I'm the one in control.
36:05You don't have control.
36:07What I say goes.
36:09But as you see, I'm getting better at handling them and dealing with everything a lot better.
36:14And there's, the yelling's gone.
36:15So when you get home, there's no yelling, Daddy.
36:18I know.
36:19I was ecstatic for Sendil to see that I'm taking charge now.
36:23They're listening, their behavior, because now he can say, well, my wife is gonna kick some butt.
36:31So would you say that you have more peace of mind now?
36:35Yeah.
36:36She's a whole lot stronger.
36:38We're dealing with the kids, dealing with situations.
36:41And I think she can handle it a lot better right now.
36:44Sindara, I just wanted to say that it's been a pleasure meeting you, sir, and it's been a pleasure working with your family.
36:50God bless. Take care.
36:51I'm gonna leave you with Michelle.
36:52I think Joe has given my husband peace of mind that he knows that his family is gonna stick together and hold together and not fall apart.
36:59See, but the thing is, I'm loving this, the silence of no yelling.
37:03And there's a peace.
37:05The peace and love and harmony is floating in the air, and all the screaming and, and I like this.
37:11The kids have recognized that it's their mom who's holding the fort in their home and raising them with reassurance and love.
37:19Bye, Jojo!
37:21Thank you!
37:23You're Jojo's best.
37:25She said she's going with you.
37:27Are you going with me?
37:28Yeah.
37:29You're going with me?
37:30Yeah.
37:31You can't go with me.
37:32Thank you for helping my family.
37:35I'm gonna miss you, Jojo.
37:37Take care.
37:38I will.
37:39Look.
37:40Yes.
37:43Proud of you.
37:45Proud of you.
37:46Take care.
37:47Take care.
37:48Bye-bye, darling.
37:49Bye-bye.
37:50Bye-bye.
37:51You take care, okay?
37:52It's written on the wall, peace, love, and harmony.
37:56Michelle wanted that.
37:58Michelle created it.
37:59This family have it.
38:00Jo, you're an amazing woman from the bottom of my heart.
38:07Thank you, and keep doing what you're doing because you're that one person that's helping change one family at a time, and we love you.
38:30Bye.
38:31Bye.
38:32Bye.
38:33Bye.
38:34Bye.
38:35Bye.
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