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Skyler frequently fights with her mom by throwing emotional, but violent temper tantrums. She does it by hitting, kicking, screaming, demanding and crying. Skyler would hit her mom or vice versa. What's 1 question you would ask to Supernanny
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TVTranscrição
00:01Let's take a look this week and see what family we've got here.
00:04Hello, this is the Mignon family. I'm Frank, 29 years old.
00:08I'm Danielle, I'm 26.
00:10We have two children. Frank Patrick, he's seven.
00:13Skylar, who's four.
00:15I had no idea that having kids could be so much different.
00:19Don't you hit me!
00:20They're not quite as easy as I thought it'd be.
00:22I don't want to get a child out!
00:25You don't hit mommy!
00:27Skylar's very difficult.
00:32She's got some rage issues.
00:34Skylar!
00:36She just goes ballistic.
00:37Stop it!
00:38My words.
00:39Frank absolutely does not get as much of our attention because of our daughter.
00:43I'm sad to say I don't spend enough time with my son.
00:46Frank doesn't like to wake up in the morning,
00:48and when I do get him up, I have to physically dress him while he's in the bed.
00:51Frank, how come you never helped me get yourself dressed in the morning?
00:55Because I'm tired.
00:58He's seven years old.
00:59This is way beyond a joke here.
01:03I would just like my family to be happy.
01:05I'm not going to be good.
01:07Super Nanny, help us.
01:08We can't stop our daughter's fits.
01:10We don't have the answers, and we really need help.
01:13Mom and Dad, I'm on my way.
01:15Good morning.
01:30Good morning.
01:31Pleased to meet you.
01:32I'm Joe.
01:33I'm Frank.
01:34This is my wife, Danielle.
01:35Pleased to meet you, Danielle.
01:36How are you?
01:37Very early in the morning, I know.
01:38It sure is.
01:39But I've heard that you've got issues that need to be sorted out regarding the mornings
01:44and getting the children up and ready for school.
01:46I sure do.
01:47Joe's presence felt very strong, kind of almost like a principal.
01:51I felt as if school was about to begin.
01:53What I would like you both to do today is just to carry on as normal, make out I'm not here.
02:00I'm going to be a fly on the wall, and I'm going to watch and observe you with the children today, okay?
02:04I felt so relieved that Joe was at the house, and I was finally going to get some answers to my crazy household.
02:09And if I'm correct, I think it's school time, right?
02:12Sure is.
02:13Sure is.
02:14Okay, I'm going to sit back and watch.
02:16And the first thing that we did was head towards the bedrooms to wake Frank.
02:20Frank, come on, buddy.
02:21It's time to wake up.
02:22Soon afterwards, Mom then went into Skylar's bedroom.
02:26Skylar.
02:27And attempted to wake her up.
02:31Come on.
02:34Frank.
02:35Rise and shine.
02:39You awake yet?
02:41Come on, bud.
02:43Hi, boy.
02:45Mom told Skylar that she needed to get dressed because she was going off to school today.
02:50The cops are going to come and get Mommy if you're not at school.
02:53I'm not at school.
02:54Come on.
02:55No.
02:56Skylar, please.
02:57No.
02:58And that's when the fireworks went off.
03:00No.
03:01Don't start in the morning.
03:03I want to get out.
03:05I want to get out of school.
03:06I want to get out of school.
03:07I'm not getting dressed.
03:08I want to get out of school.
03:09I want to get out of school.
03:10I want to get out of school.
03:11I want to get out of school.
03:12I want to get out of school.
03:14I want to get out of school.
03:15Skylar was clearly running things in this household.
03:19What happens now?
03:20Each day at school, it's getting worse and worse.
03:22It just went from no shoes yesterday to not getting dressed.
03:25Where is Dad, Danielle?
03:29Getting ready for work.
03:30So do you normally get Frank dressed every morning?
03:33In his bed.
03:34He usually won't get out of bed until I physically dress him.
03:37He's a big boy and yet she was dressing him.
03:40Otherwise, I'll fight with him all morning to actually get out of bed.
03:43He won't even get out of bed.
03:44Very suddenly, I realized Frank didn't do much in the morning.
03:47Mom did absolutely everything.
03:49I mean, really, I don't think anybody really knows where they're going.
03:51They're like puppies chasing their tails in the morning.
03:53You got to find your sneakers.
03:55You got to brush your teeth.
03:56Sometimes I'd like my husband to help more.
03:58I usually have to take the brunt of the storm by myself.
04:01I'm going to have to have Daddy help me dress him.
04:03Will you pick something out then?
04:04I don't want to have a new guy.
04:06I don't want to have a new guy.
04:08I don't want to have a new guy.
04:10Was Skylar ducking her heels?
04:11I mean, she was having none of it.
04:13I have to leave.
04:14I really have to go.
04:16Me having to leave for work in the middle of the chaotic portions of the morning
04:21is not a comforting feeling walking out the front door.
04:23What does this do to you, baby?
04:25Skylar spring and shouting.
04:27Killed me.
04:28It just hurts that I can't fix the problem.
04:31I don't want to go to school.
04:36I hate seeing her cry like that or nothing.
04:39It's easier to give her her way because then she'll be fine.
04:43Mom's emotionally drained from all of it.
04:45We are going.
04:46Frank had removed himself from the high-pitched crying.
04:50It's quite worrying, actually, that it was on his own,
04:53having to make do with Mom dealing with Skylar.
04:56Do you want me to make your lunch or not?
04:58All dressed.
05:00Ready?
05:01No shoes on, no toothbrush, but we're going.
05:04Bye.
05:05Say bye, nanny.
05:06Well, that took a long time.
05:07An hour and 15 minutes to get Skylar up, dressed and to school.
05:12What kind of mornings I'd want to see again, that's for sure.
05:17Coming up on Supernanny, Joe gives a dose of reality.
05:21Emotionally, you're in a desperate situation.
05:24While Frank is left to his own devices.
05:27Do you get much time with Mommy and Daddy?
05:28No.
05:29No.
05:30When Supernanny returns.
05:33I very quickly realized Skylar.
05:40Skylar, I want you to finish eating.
05:43Controls everybody in the household.
05:46Mom allows Skylar to run rings around her.
05:51Skylar?
05:52Are you hiding?
05:55So, Frank.
05:56So, do you get much time with Mommy and Daddy to do things?
06:00Not really?
06:01No.
06:02Pick the pillows up off the floor.
06:03No.
06:04Don't tell me no.
06:05Pick them up, please.
06:06No.
06:07Pick them up.
06:08Do you want a time out?
06:09No.
06:10Pick them up, please.
06:11Pick them up.
06:12Pick the pillows up.
06:13No.
06:14Pick them up, please.
06:15Pick the pillows up.
06:16No.
06:17You're in no time out.
06:18No.
06:19Yes.
06:20No.
06:21I don't want to.
06:22Yes, you do.
06:23No.
06:24You're in a tantrum.
06:25Plain and simple.
06:26Are you going to pick them up?
06:27No.
06:28No.
06:29You're going to sit there.
06:30No.
06:31My sister is that beauty good girl.
06:33After being told for the fourth time, she was sent to the naughty chair, which I was pleased
06:39to see, but it wasn't being used correctly, because Mom never walks away.
06:46And that just adds fuel to the fire.
06:48Get out of me!
06:50What a battle.
06:51I mean, it's just absolutely crazy.
06:53Stop it.
06:54Sit down.
06:55It was absolutely ridiculous.
06:56Skylar hit her mom and mumped her back.
06:59Hey!
07:00You don't care!
07:03I just feel like I'm going to battle her forever and she's never going to quit.
07:07I usually let her off.
07:08Let go!
07:09No!
07:10Does she always hit?
07:11Pull your hair and kick and fight?
07:13When she's spazzing, yeah.
07:14Yeah.
07:15Frank had removed himself, desperately trying to find solitude and really being robbed
07:19of any other attention.
07:21Do you like listening to that though?
07:24I don't know!
07:25I don't want to jump out!
07:27Help!
07:28So what was achieved in all of this today?
07:30Nothing.
07:31Does that make you feel as a parent?
07:32It sucks.
07:33It's like I know that she wins every time.
07:36Because I don't know what works.
07:38I've tried so many different things but none of them work.
07:41It's like is it worth fighting for two, three hours?
07:46Maybe I'm just not strong enough to do it.
07:48It ended with Danielle desperately needing this hug from Skylar and Skylar desperate to
07:55be held as well.
07:57But nothing actually got solved.
07:59Hey Sky.
08:02When dad came home it gave me a chance to see how he interacts with his children.
08:07Hey Sky.
08:08She could do no wrong.
08:09It's just daddy's little girl.
08:10She's just precious.
08:12Everything she does is cute.
08:13Hey Frank.
08:14He's always the last one to come greet me if I even get one.
08:18Am I interrupting you?
08:19First I want a hello.
08:20Is there much interaction with you and Frank?
08:23Do you spend much time doing things in the house?
08:26Watch your mouth.
08:27All right.
08:28On tight.
08:29No, not right now.
08:30We don't really interact probably as like a father son should.
08:32What are you doing to the couch Frank?
08:33I have nothing in common with my son at some point.
08:35Is that how you feel sometimes?
08:36Sure.
08:37He really once again one word answers.
08:40Never really ever have a conversation with him.
08:42Come on.
08:43Hurry up.
08:44I need all those bikes put in the shed for me buddy.
08:45It became very clear to me that Frank was a lot tougher on his son than he was on his
08:50daughter.
08:51I just need it in there.
08:52Whatever you got to do.
08:53Oh, my little helper.
08:54Thank you sweetheart.
08:56Later on in the afternoon, mom and dad had organized a barbecue and their friends and
09:01family came round.
09:03Can I get a hug?
09:04Can you say hello Sky?
09:06Skylar refused to say hello to anybody.
09:09Skylar, come say hello to Sharon please.
09:11Frank, did you say hi too?
09:12Frank, didn't bother to have any manners.
09:13You don't need to be playing video games, Frank.
09:14When we have a family member or a friend walking the door, I feel it's just common courtesy
09:19to have everyone greet who's coming in.
09:23It was very nice.
09:24Everybody came over to your house and you're not even saying hello.
09:27Skylar, I want you to go sit with the kids, baby.
09:30Here, I'll get them.
09:31It's always a fiesta.
09:32No, no, it's done.
09:35No, no, no.
09:36Once the barbecue started, the children's behavior started to decline.
09:41Come on, Frank.
09:42Patrick, come say goodbye to everybody.
09:44Say goodbye.
09:45No.
09:46Just a hug.
09:47You don't have to kiss me.
09:48Just give her a hug.
09:49How about a hug?
09:50No, I don't want a hug.
09:51My kids just have the worst manners.
09:52Danielle and Frank were really embarrassed by their children's lack of manners.
09:56Why does anyone want to come to the house and see you if you're not going to say hello
09:59and goodbye?
10:00But they do have really high standards and expectations of their children.
10:06They expect them to hug and kiss on demand.
10:08Give them a big hug.
10:09Aww.
10:10I feel confident about the issues that the Mignon family need to address.
10:15And I can't wait to get started.
10:18When I first meet a family, I go in and I watch the dynamics between the parents and
10:25the children.
10:26Stop it.
10:27Stop it.
10:28I then approach both parents and we discuss the issues that I think need to be addressed.
10:37Danielle and Frank, I've seen more than enough today, so why don't we go through to the dining
10:41area and have a talk?
10:42Great.
10:43I'm nervous what Jo's going to say to us at the family meeting.
10:46I'm sure Jo has a few things that she's seen that aren't correct.
10:50You two are a beautiful young family.
10:57And you should both be very proud as parents.
11:00Yeah.
11:01But let's start with the mornings.
11:05I mean why bother waking up?
11:07Eight years old and Frank is being dressed.
11:12I mean that's ridiculous.
11:13You then go into Skylar.
11:16Why do you allow your four year old daughter to power struggle with the pair of you?
11:23She's the baby of the house and I guess we kind of just let her get away.
11:27I mean Danielle, it was horrifying.
11:31Skylar lost her temper and punched and kicked you and bit you and pulled your hair so hard
11:42that you smacked her and shouted at her and you lost control.
11:47That's absolutely madness.
11:49I just don't know how to stop her.
11:51We're not just talking about Skylar here.
11:53Skylar's got a brother, Frank.
11:56Where is Frank in this equation?
11:58Frank's gone.
12:00Frank just doesn't want to hear the screaming.
12:02Takes himself off.
12:04And Frank is really into his computer game.
12:07Because that gives him attention.
12:09Because he's not getting it from his parents.
12:13Emotionally, you're in a desperate situation.
12:16Because so much time is being devoted to Skylar.
12:22He needs your attention.
12:24He needs your encouragement and your support.
12:27I feel he just needs to be stronger.
12:29You mean take your flack?
12:30To me, boys just seem to be raised different.
12:33You're basically saying that you don't treat your children equally.
12:36She gets on me about it.
12:38It's just how it is.
12:41We have to change it.
12:42Let's talk about the social skills with Skylar and Frank.
12:50You expect your children to be intimate with people when they don't want to be.
12:55I would like to just see a hello, handshake, hi, acknowledgement.
12:59But you don't set the examples in your own home.
13:02Frank, he doesn't do it with his own father.
13:04How can you expect him to develop his social skills when he doesn't even do it with you?
13:11The pair of you love your kids.
13:14But what you have to be is realistic with your expectations.
13:18Joe told us that we completely lost our power to a four-year-old little girl.
13:24And that our son sits on the back burner because all of our attention is focused on our daughter.
13:29So, with a lot of determination, some hard work, let's change the power shift.
13:34You guys up for that?
13:35Yes.
13:36Absolutely.
13:37Well, let's get cracking.
13:39Coming up on Super Nanny.
13:41When Joe lays down the law, Skylar goes on the run.
13:45I don't want to go to die my house.
13:54When Super Nanny returns.
13:57Okay, Frank, what does that say out there?
14:00Family routine.
14:01Exactly, family routine.
14:03At 6.30, pre-wake-up Frank.
14:08A pre-wake-up call is to gently break your child into the morning before the alarm goes off.
14:13What I want you both to do is to take turns in rotating that morning.
14:18At 3.15 to 4.15, outside activity.
14:23I want to see the kids having some wind-down period time from school.
14:28Dad, between 4.30 and 5.00 p.m., I would love you to sit down with Frank and do his homework.
14:35Sure.
14:36Okay?
14:37Lots of encouragement and support.
14:39That felt good to know that I have this time slot.
14:42I know that this portion of the day is my son and I.
14:46Frank, any questions?
14:47No.
14:48No?
14:49Okay.
14:50Look what I've got here.
14:51What is it?
14:52I introduce the reward chart because it's a fun way to make the children reach their goals
15:04and earn their rewards.
15:05You start to collect your tokens until you reach the levels that say 5, 10, 15, and 20.
15:15At the end of each week, the children receive rewards depending on how many tokens they have.
15:20Yeah, I think the reward is one of the best parts that Joe has showed us because it gives
15:24us something good to give to the kids.
15:26Hey, good start.
15:28Skylar, mommy's cooking dinner.
15:31Danielle started to prepare dinner and Skylar wouldn't let her do so.
15:37She wanted to be picked up constantly.
15:40She's used to screaming, knowing that you'll pick her up.
15:43But what you know is she's perfectly fine.
15:46If you pick her up, what you're doing is you're teaching Skylar that every time she behaves this way,
15:52it wants you just to pick her up.
15:54Danielle couldn't bear Skylar's crying and then she broke down.
15:57What's this going on?
15:59What is it that you feel is going on right now?
16:01I just hate her and I just scream.
16:03What, what is it making you feel right now?
16:04I don't want to give her away.
16:06I just hate you and I cry.
16:07Okay.
16:08You feel bad because you are not letting her have her own way.
16:12Okay.
16:13Who's being a good mother right now and getting dinner on the go for the whole family?
16:17So, be a positive parent.
16:19Come down and say, darling, mommy can't hold you right now.
16:23I'm cooking, okay?
16:25It gave me a lot of strength to have Jo there.
16:27I break down easily with all the crying and chaos and running and I just feel like it's never going to work.
16:33When I'm done closing her head, I'll hold you up.
16:37Go play with daddy.
16:39Go.
16:40Go.
16:41No.
16:42No.
16:43Skylar, don't hit mommy.
16:45That is right.
16:46Give her a warning and tell her if she does it again, she would go on the naughty chair.
16:51I'm behind you right all the way here, Danielle.
16:54You are taking the power back.
16:57I don't want to go to the chair.
16:59Okay, then you don't hit me.
17:00I'm going to go.
17:01No.
17:02No.
17:03No.
17:04No.
17:05No.
17:06No.
17:07No.
17:08No.
17:09Watching my daughter taking it so tough, I just wanted to grab her, scoop her up.
17:13You need to stay here.
17:14It was very hard in the beginning.
17:17I don't think I would have been able to get Skylar to stay in the naughty chair by myself.
17:20No.
17:21I don't want to go in.
17:23No.
17:24No.
17:25No.
17:26No.
17:27No.
17:28No.
17:29No.
17:30No.
17:31No.
17:32No.
17:33No.
17:34No.
17:35No.
17:36No.
17:37No.
17:38No.
17:39No.
17:40No.
17:41No.
17:42No.
17:43No.
17:44No.
17:45No.
17:46No.
17:47No.
17:48No.
17:49No.
17:50No.
17:51No.
17:52No.
17:53No.
17:54No.
17:55No.
17:56No.
17:57No.
17:58No.
17:59No.
18:00No.
18:01No.
18:02No.
18:03No.
18:04No.
18:05No.
18:06No.
18:07No.
18:08No.
18:09No.
18:10No.
18:11No.
18:12No.
18:13No.
18:14what do you need to say to mommy you can come out of time out when you apologize what do you need
18:22to say to me sorry thank you what was that give me a hug when skylar admitted she was sorry
18:31hallelujah the chair worked i'm really really proud of you well done
18:37coming up on super nanny hello joe acts out is that hello or goodbye while frank
18:46is caught in the middle intimidation isn't it when super nanny returns
18:52this morning i arrived nice and early to start the rise and shine technique
19:01where i found danielle and frank are both pretty dead to say the least the rise and shine technique
19:09is to make sure that mornings run smooth and are organized the night before the children need to
19:15choose their clothes and the alarms need to be set in the morning the parents need to pre-wake up
19:24their children and that is to open up the door ajar and to put a soft lamp on and then to
19:31gently stir the children to let them know it's time to get up once the children have woke up it's
19:39then for them to take the responsibility in making sure that they get themselves dressed washed and
19:46ready to leave oh you dressed yourself today good job pal i didn't know what to do this morning because
19:53frank actually dressed himself i had time to like just wake up for his first attempt he managed to get
20:00himself up dressed and had his bag ready to get on that school bus well done and it was mom's turn
20:08to wake up skylar and as far as danielle was concerned it was like brace yourself i'm getting nervous i don't
20:16feel like fighting with her this morning so what are you gonna do then fight or not i'm not okay let's go
20:21so she took a great big deep breath and off she went into skylar's room and skylar did not
20:27budge butch come on baby time wake up okay got a couple minutes before your alarm goes off
20:33done the blinds the lamp on that's it in the beginning i was like jiminy crickets here we go
20:40again i don't even want to begin so the alarm clock went off but skylar didn't budge at all
20:47skylar come on honey we have to go to school i want you to put on the clothes that you chose last
20:52night come on okay pull back the duvet cover good morning good morning good morning she's a brush her hair
21:06if she turns around she's not getting dressed not brushing her hair walking out of the room for five minutes
21:11and then come back in skylar i'd like to see you get dressed for me sweetheart and then i want you to go brush your hair
21:17okay no and i know you can do it well that's your choice skylar if you want to go to school in your
21:23pajamas that's your choice i'm not going to school so come and show come and give mommy a call when you've
21:29got yourself dressed come and give mommy a call at the door when you've got yourself dressed so i can
21:33see okay okay that's good then yeah let's relax what i want to do is let her understand that you are
21:41sticking to your guns okay mom stood her ground but skylar was not ready to compromise
21:48is she coming out to you or are you coming she said she was going to get dressed and come out
22:03right okay fine lo and behold for the first time skylar actually got dressed by herself you look great
22:11you did that all by yourself fantastic and great well done this is the first morning that danielle
22:19has stuck to her guns and meant what she said and followed through i think just getting her up in the
22:26morning without a battle to go to school is success in itself hey skylar i'm really proud of you
22:38skylar never initiates any form of conversation not even to the point where she'll just say hello
22:44and goodbye this little baby here told me that she wants to say hello to this big baby and she doesn't
22:50know how to so one of the things i did do was to role play with skylar is that hello or goodbye that's
23:00that's goodbye when you're doing this that's that's hello i asked skylar to do it herself she showed me
23:07what a hello was and what a goodbye was what does bear say what does bear say hello that's right say come in
23:15what does bear say i think i've made progress in skylar's understanding of how important it is to
23:23say hello and goodbye this next step in the socialization process is to identify personal
23:32space so frank let's have you in the middle of that orange circle there it is important that frank and
23:39danielle do not put pressure on their children to be affectionate towards their friends and family
23:44on demand skylar come say hello to sharing please frank did you say hi too say goodbye no give him a
23:52big hug oh i made frank see what his children see these circles represent the intimacy that you have with
24:03people when we come into the blue circle it means that we've already developed the common ground of
24:09saying hello and goodbye when we get to this circle frank that means that i've
24:17approached on your space how comfortable does that feel a little tight to sit in the center of the circle
24:23and to look up and see joe i felt a little intimidated your children have their own space
24:30they have their own area and regardless to whether their family or their friends they will have their
24:38own time in which they feel comfortable to allow that person into their pink circle now imagine
24:47that you're skylar and she's this tall and then she meets an adult
24:52and that person comes straight into her space it's quite intimidating isn't it intimidating sure
25:02i think it was definitely an eye-opener i'm definitely going to be more aware of the
25:06kids personal space i'll look at it in a different way than i did before
25:14i introduced the feelings chart because frank is often never heard by his parents so i really want to
25:20be able to give him a chance to express himself if you feel good about something then i want you to
25:26use the happy faces okay if you feel bad about something or you feel sad what i want you to do
25:33is use the sad faces i'm feeling happy today you feel happy today i'm gonna get to spend more time with
25:40my dad yeah you are if mom and dad can visually get an idea of what's going on in frank's head
25:47and how he's feeling they can do something to change that that's your special chart these are
25:53your special faces and this is about how you're feeling because that's what's important
26:02i'm gonna leave danielle and frank for a couple of days to get on with implementing the techniques
26:08danielle take care yeah i'm gonna miss having joe there tomorrow because i just feel like i need
26:14someone to look at and just say you know what do i do next support one another through all the
26:20techniques well there's no doubt they're going to be tested and i'm going to be watching them so
26:26let's just see how they get on coming up on super nanny skyler gets a wake-up call and dad fails his
26:35homework assignment shut your mouth and start doing your homework when super nanny returns
26:44good morning all right getting up pal good job ah the morning routine this could be a challenge
26:50come on baby you hear it she's not budging
26:56frank that's a big improvement i would like you to put these on and come out in the living room
27:01dressed and make me really proud okay hurry hurry
27:04come on come on excellent frank's off to school love you pal see you buddy but what about skylar
27:13come on let's go no do you want to get dressed or do you want to go to school in your pajamas
27:22okay well i'm gonna put your clothes in your book bag
27:24you're gonna go to school when your pajamas in well let's brush your teeth so that you don't
27:31have stinky breath at school no no come on okay well then we're not we're going to school though come
27:37on i don't want to go to school bit of a struggle skyler's going to school in her pajamas way to go
27:44danielle joe said you don't need to fight with her every morning just take her in her pajamas and
27:49eventually she'll learn yeah my mind was made up she was going to school pajamas are not
27:55over the next few days danielle and frank continued to use their tokens as rewards
28:00if chyler goes get the haircut she can get five tokens i don't know mom five tokens
28:07no bribing danielle let the children feel good about completing their tasks
28:13later on frank sat down with his dad to do his homework
28:17shut your mouth and start doing your homework is that an a or a c or what letter is that
28:22fix it i've never seen an a with with those that looks like a c because that's how i write
28:30start over i can't know everything no i know what's right and what's wrong just do your homework
28:36that's why i always did we're going to a bad spot with this whole homework thing because you don't
28:41i can't write a a frank start your homework now let me write my a you write your a you're going to
28:51sit in the naughty chair naughty chair why for what erase it frank
28:59dude don't cry over writing a word this is ridiculous you know what sit down
29:03what do i got it there for you you heard what i said get it you're in time out look at me you're
29:14in time out forgive me a tough time at homework and for not correcting your a giving me a problem
29:19on making an a that's why you're now in time out you're in time out for seven minutes pal
29:27and most off you're in time out for is because you're just a little whiny brat
29:32you're gonna break my chair don't break my chair frank
29:34you're being a little whiny brat frank every simple homework dad you are letting your anger
29:40get the better of you stop crying now you sound ridiculous frank frank shut your mouth babe
29:50i don't want to hear him whining you just can't though he stopped it worked
29:54you're in time out for whining and for not listening about what i needed you to do with
30:04your homework that's why you're in time out now you can get up and don't whine
30:11so you continue to want frank you need a homework assignment communication 101
30:16frank that was just so unfair you and i need to talk as soon as possible
30:31good to see you good to see you all right i love the part where i go back to the house and show the
30:36family the dvd footage because it shows the parents exactly the mistakes they've made and how we're going
30:43to amend it i've been looking at some footage so why don't we go and sit down in the dining area
30:48and discuss what's on this okay okay let's take a look and uh see what we've got here okay
30:56come on baby you hear it she's not budging do you want to get dressed or do you want to
31:01go to school in your pajamas it's your choice skylar we're going to school though come on
31:07i don't want to go to school absolutely fantastic you did it i wasn't funny was i
31:16no fighting skylar's going to school and if she doesn't put her clothes on they're going into the
31:22bag you'll give her the sense of choice you have made a major leap okay moving on let's look at the
31:29next one right at the end she can get five tokens that's two tokens the golden tokens are given when
31:38a child establishes that they have achieved a task already you've upped the mark of saying right what
31:44can we get five tokens for what can we get ten your children four days ago were happy just to get one
31:50token so keep it simple right no i know what's right and what's wrong just do your homework that's
32:01what i always do shut your mouth and start doing your homework you're in time out forgive me a tough
32:06time in homework and for not correcting your eggs the most off your time out for is because you're just
32:12a little whiny brat you're gonna break my chair don't break my chair frank you're being a little whiny
32:17brent frank you spoke to him with no respect i was angry i don't accept him whining you used language
32:29that was abusive it's just in this situation i was frustrated you need to check yourself frank what
32:35i just saw go on there was destructive it was so negative you don't recognize the fact that he's
32:42whining because he's frustrated and he's in a place right now that he's finding difficult
32:48danielle what's your intake on this you're always like that with him i want everything he whines
32:54every day and every day that is how you handle his whining you have a very bright funny sensitive
33:03child and you see how well frank responds to positive praise why on earth frank would you not want to give
33:12that to your child on a daily basis i don't want to be negative i don't want to go this route i knew
33:19i was going to have a moment like this and maybe i needed to have a moment like this you're the parent
33:24frank you can change it that is why that is why we are doing this the way i've done it i don't like it
33:32i have intentions to change it's going to be tough but you know i'm willing to do it after seeing the dvd
33:38i realized that i do need to take a more positive approach has this piece been an eye-opener for
33:43you sure has it's bad but i feel good going to come about it i do so what we're going to do
33:49is reinforce some of the issues here so we can have you back on track all right okay okay coming up on
33:57super nanny i do apologize for being angry at you dad and frank check their feelings and when family
34:04comes to visit will they feel welcomed when super nanny returns
34:18the first thing that i wanted to do was to pull dad aside and let him work on his relationship with
34:23young frank frank explain to dad what that chat's all about it's me and my feelings i took frank and young
34:31frank into his bedroom so that he could explain what the happy and sad faces were all about what
34:36this chart's going to do is going to open up communication between you and frank okay it's
34:39going to open up that door for you to say hey buddy look i see you got a sad face there look explain to
34:44daddy why you was feeling sad we had a bad homework day okay boom automatically you're in a conversation
34:51where the two of you are talking so that it's bringing you two closer together sure i think the
34:56feelings chart is an excellent way to have frank express his emotions i think it's great it really
35:01tells me how you feel and i'll check your chart each night before you go to bed i want you to know
35:05the importance of me knowing about how you feel because it means it means a lot to me i want you
35:10to be comfortable with me and i i don't want to yell anymore i think my dad's going to be nicer to me
35:16when you two talk to each other you talk in the proper way that each other can understand you don't
35:22whine this is what whining is i know i can't understand that and when daddy can't understand
35:29daddy gets angry with you and he shouldn't get angry with you daddy's definitely going to work on
35:36controlling myself to allow myself to hear you daddy doesn't like the fact that he did get upset with
35:42you to the point where i was very angry i do apologize daddies can apologize too this was a big step
35:51dad apologizing to his son he's making progress so can you work with me on it i'll try good because
35:58i will try too i feel like i've hit a reset button i feel like i kind of have a new beginning i have
36:03a new start a new approach to things when you hear him moaning and whining and you think oh my god i'm
36:11getting irritated by that just ignore that and come straight in with the encouragement and lots of
36:17praise and that's all stuff that's going to build frank i do have that inside of me and the ability
36:22to do it just leave everything at that front door and just pull the good stuff out young frank had some
36:27homework to do and dad sat with him and gave him encouragement this is the spelling test ready weather
36:36there was no firm undertones of making frank feel intimidated by him you're running with some
36:43confidence there huh frank's pleased with himself when he achieves his goals but frank beams when his
36:52dad gives him praise 100 yeah i felt good after his homework he was proud of himself and i think the
37:02approach worked very proud of you thank you some of the family came around who's at the door can you
37:12please check for me for a little party and danielle encouraged frank and skylar to open the door and
37:20say hello thank you and skylar she's like come in come in so that was good that's all part of the
37:29socialization technique i love you well done skylar all right say hello say hello good job look he's here
37:39parents were far more relaxed this time around it set the tone in the house
37:43this is a special pacifier and this is home i think tastes like bubble gum that's good you did you
37:53tried you just went into big jolly silly dad the kids started laughing cool yes expectations are more
38:01realistic the family must have noticed a difference because they used to not even receive a hello or a
38:06goodbye there's definitely some changes in the kids behavior with their socializing
38:15it's going to take a while and it's something i have to keep working and i've definitely seen an
38:19improvement walk to the door sky come on oh say goodbye because jojo's going now
38:30i think the greatest gift joe has given me is just an understanding of each of my children
38:35she's just got knowledge that most parents don't have it's been a tough journey when i first
38:41arrived here danielle was really low i mean she was depressed yeah daniel thank you so much
38:49she felt totally out of control when it come to disciplining skylar and now she's gained that back
38:56what'd you say to me bye bye darling which is progress galore frank thank you
39:02thank you joe's made a major impact on our family i am absolutely grateful to have joe come into my
39:08home and open her eyes i think things have changed around here because of jojo bye
39:19things have changed around here and i'm hoping that danielle and frank continue with the progress that
39:25i've made
39:32me five all right very proud of you let's get dinner ready sky i feel this whole process has helped my
39:39family for sure i see smiles on my kids faces i see a smile on my wife's face i feel good i've
39:45seeing things turn around that i didn't think were possible you're doing a great job this morning frank
39:50the mornings have been a huge change frank gets ready by himself gets his own breakfast prepared
39:56i feel proud when i have done skylar's been getting up joyfully life in his household has
40:02definitely improved immensely i'm so proud of you my parents seem happier because my sister's getting
40:09better and nicer to see the glow in my wife's face has made this process worth it the change that i feel
40:17as a parent is that my eyes have been opened i learned that frank needs positive attention i need
40:24to have patience good job pal very proud of you for that very proud i definitely feel a stronger
40:30relationship coming on with my son and i i'm proud of my family for taking it on it was a big change for
40:35myself my husband and the kids and everyone seems to be doing their part to make it work
41:05what's your favorite part to make it work to be doing there and have a great job
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