- ontem
With Dad's job as a management consultant causing him to travel from Sunday to Friday night, Mom is left alone to take care of the kids along with juggling a full time job as well. In this episodes Jo walks the parents through the Naughty Chair and a Stay in Bed technique. She also brings in Dr. Lynn Koegel to help Paige with her speech issue.
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00:00Let's take a look and see what family we've got here.
00:04Hi, my name is Kathy Webb, and this is my husband, Arthur.
00:07We have three small kids.
00:10Joseph, who is six.
00:12Paige, who is five, who has Down syndrome.
00:14And Madison, who is two and a half.
00:18We had children one after the other,
00:20and it just seems like our life has just gone haywire.
00:24Uh-uh, let me have that.
00:28Joseph, stop, you're going to break her arm.
00:30I am a management consultant,
00:31and my job involves traveling 50 weeks out of the year,
00:35leaving on Sunday mostly, and returning on Friday.
00:39Kathy is also a professional, has a full-time job.
00:44With Arthur being gone the entire week,
00:46I feel as if I'm a single mom.
00:48Hi, Daddy.
00:49With Daddy?
00:49And I feel like I'm just at my wit's end right now.
00:52Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55Money.
00:56You know, I'm sorry, can you hold on one quick second for me?
00:58This woman is worn out.
01:01How?
01:01Paige is a special needs child.
01:05Yes, I'm almost done.
01:07Developmentally, she's right now three years old,
01:09so she demands definitely a lot of my time.
01:13Paige, that is not nice.
01:15Madison, she's very demanding.
01:17She's at times very clingy.
01:23Can we walk?
01:26Uh-oh.
01:27We've got a little one attached.
01:31Joseph, sit in here, sit in here.
01:32Joseph, who is our six-year-old, he is very independent.
01:36He sometimes feels as if he's being left out
01:39because I spend a lot of time with Paige and Madison.
01:41When I'm here with the children alone during the week,
01:44I mainly struggle with getting them in bed at a decent hour.
01:48No, no more reading.
01:50What?
01:51Don't get out anymore.
01:52Do you understand?
01:53A lot of times when I call,
01:55we can't even finish the conversation
01:56because the inmates are running the asylum, it seems like.
02:02Paige.
02:05Hey, hey, hey.
02:06Calm down.
02:07Super Nanny, please come to this house.
02:09I desperately need your help.
02:12This family can sure do with my help.
02:14I'm on my way.
02:27Hello.
02:28How are you?
02:29Hi, I'm Arthur Webb.
02:30Hi, pleased to meet you.
02:31How are you doing?
02:31I'm Joe Frost.
02:32Come in, Joe.
02:33Joe came into the house.
02:34She looked like a Super Nanny, you know.
02:36She had her hair pulled back in a bun.
02:37She looked very prim and proper.
02:39Hi, pleased to meet you, Kathy.
02:41Yes, my pleasure as well.
02:42How are you?
02:42Good, great.
02:44Good.
02:44When I first met Joe,
02:46I could tell right from the beginning
02:48that she was a no-nonsense type of person
02:50and that she was going to whip us into shape.
02:52This is Paige.
02:53Hi, Paige.
02:55Hi.
02:56Pleased to meet you.
02:58And that's Madison.
03:00She's got other things on her mind.
03:02Come on.
03:02Hi, Joseph.
03:03I'm going to shake Jojo's hand.
03:05Pleased to meet you.
03:06Good.
03:08So, all here together,
03:09which is absolutely wonderful,
03:11what I would love you guys to do
03:13is just to carry on as normal.
03:14I'm going to be a fly on the wall
03:15and just watch you as a family.
03:18Okay?
03:18Okay.
03:23As soon as I walked into the door,
03:25met the family,
03:27Arthur was like,
03:27bye.
03:28I have to catch the landfill
03:29before it closes at 12.
03:31Right, okie dokie.
03:31Okay.
03:32All right, then.
03:32All right.
03:32Thanks.
03:33Say bye, Daddy.
03:34See you later.
03:36Bye now.
03:37And there we were,
03:38me, mum, and the kids.
03:39What happens for you
03:40at this time of the day?
03:41Normally, I'm doing what I'm doing now,
03:43cleaning the kitchen
03:43or dressing the kids
03:44or doing something like that.
03:46I'll let you carry on, then,
03:46with those dishes.
03:47Okay.
03:53Madison.
03:57I think he's got that remote
03:58stuck to his hands.
03:59It's not going anywhere.
04:00Just follow me.
04:04Television on in here.
04:09Television on in here.
04:11Josie's room.
04:12Television.
04:13Television.
04:16Television.
04:17Not much really going on
04:19in this household.
04:20Where's the fun?
04:22Kids are bored.
04:22I thought there was going
04:24to be activities going on
04:25and the house was going
04:26to be full of energy
04:27with the kids running around,
04:28screaming,
04:29but it wasn't.
04:30It was really quiet.
04:34I mean, nobody's going anywhere.
04:36It's like lock-up.
04:37I think mum's at a loose end
04:38of what to do with the kids.
04:40So, Joseph.
04:42Yeah?
04:42When you're not on the computer
04:44and when you're not playing video games,
04:47what does Joseph do?
04:49What do you do?
04:50Play on my computer.
04:51Trying to talk to Joseph
04:53is rather difficult
04:55because he's just like...
04:57I'm going to let you carry on then.
05:06I'll see you later.
05:08Bye.
05:13Hold on one second for me, okay?
05:15Madison, I need you to get down, okay?
05:17No.
05:17I'm done.
05:18You can play.
05:19I'm not done yet.
05:20No.
05:22Maddie, go watch television, okay?
05:25No.
05:27In case they want to watch television,
05:28they're bored of watching television,
05:29they'll probably watch it every day.
05:30Marie, can you hold on one second, okay?
05:32Come on, out.
05:33So, Kathy, what's it like on the weekends?
05:35Is Dad normally in and out
05:36or is he around or...?
05:38So, he's normally asleep
05:39or watching television or something.
05:41Have you spoke about it with him?
05:42I work.
05:43I'm stressed.
05:44So, it's as if he has downtime
05:45and I don't.
05:46So, of course, I get resentful about that.
05:49You don't think things are going to change?
05:50We've talked about it, but...
05:53Nothing's going to...
05:54No, about it.
05:54No.
05:59So, Kathy, do you have much time
06:01to spend with Paige?
06:02She has Down syndrome, the condition.
06:06Does that allow you much time
06:07during your day to spend with her?
06:10No, on a regular basis,
06:11I don't have a lot of time between work.
06:13Some of the other things
06:14I would like to spend more time with her
06:15as far as being more self-sufficient...
06:18...are teaching her life skills.
06:19Right, exactly.
06:20Verbally, she does have problems
06:22trying to communicate.
06:24What happened, Paige?
06:27Joseph, did you hit her?
06:28Her pronunciation is not very clear at all.
06:31She gets very frustrated
06:33because she is trying so hard to engage.
06:38Now, I noticed this
06:39as being a very big problem
06:41in the household
06:42because her brother, Joseph,
06:46does misunderstand this
06:47and they end up fighting
06:49and arguing a lot.
06:51He becomes very mean
06:52and very aggressive
06:53where he ends up hurting her.
06:55Joseph, go to your room.
06:57Come on, Paige.
06:58Let's call me here.
07:01We were going to send a search warrant out for you.
07:04What? A search warrant?
07:05Yeah, we were going to...
07:06Whatever it is that I have to get
07:07done on the weekend
07:09to keep the household running
07:10and keep our lifestyle going,
07:12that's what I do.
07:13You're at work
07:13from Monday to Friday.
07:16Sunday.
07:17From Sunday.
07:18Night.
07:19Must miss the family, huh?
07:21Oh, yeah.
07:21Yeah.
07:22Miss them a lot.
07:23Yeah.
07:24I hadn't seen much of Arthur
07:28since he'd got home
07:29so I checked him with Kathy
07:31as she was bathing the kids.
07:33Where's Dad, Mom?
07:34He's asleep.
07:36A power hour nap
07:37turned into a two-hour power nap.
07:40Possibly three.
07:41Probably four.
07:43We might not see him again tonight.
07:46I found out that Arthur
07:47was having a power nap
07:48that was only meant
07:49to be an hour long.
07:50But two hours later,
07:53Kathy's still doing all the work
07:54and he's still in bed.
08:00Paige, come here.
08:01Come get in your bed.
08:03No, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom,
08:05I'm not my bed.
08:05No, you're not getting in Mommy's bed.
08:07Your bed.
08:07So, Mom, what's happening
08:08at the moment now?
08:10I'm trying to get everybody
08:11in the respective beds
08:13and that's not happening.
08:15Bedtime doesn't exist
08:16in this household.
08:18Mom has no real routine.
08:21Maddie, I need you
08:21to get in your bed, okay?
08:28It's bedtime now.
08:30This should be happening
08:30during the daytime.
08:33Good night.
08:38The woman's got
08:39patience of a saint.
08:40She really has.
08:42She's back and forth
08:43from upstairs to downstairs
08:45putting those children to bed
08:47and the dad's in bed.
08:48No help.
08:50Okay, good night.
08:56What time can this normally go on to?
08:59We can go on until 11.30.
09:0111.30?
09:02Uh-huh.
09:03I did hear that correctly.
09:04Yes.
09:05Yes, 11.30.
09:06Yes.
09:07Uh-uh-uh.
09:11Uh-uh.
09:12Turn around.
09:12Every day, I say,
09:18I'm not sure how much longer
09:19I can do this.
09:20Something is going to have to give
09:21and I don't want it to be me.
09:24You hide it behind that big smile
09:26and you keep laughing, but seriously.
09:29I keep sizzling.
09:29If I didn't, I would cry.
09:32Seriously.
09:33I don't want it.
09:34I don't want it.
09:35I don't want it.
09:35There's one mum
09:38trying to get all her kids to sleep
09:41which she is not doing very well
09:43because they keep getting up
09:45and she was exhausted
09:46and it was a real effort.
09:50And the dad's in bed.
09:51To be honest with you,
09:52I really couldn't believe it.
09:53I was that close
09:54from knocking on the door myself.
09:56I'm going to leave you
09:57to get on with the rest of your chores
09:59because as it is,
10:01we've got a young one up again.
10:03Yes.
10:04And I know you've got a lot to still do, okay?
10:07So I'll see you tomorrow.
10:08Okay, great.
10:09That's your will.
10:10Good night.
10:10Good night.
10:15When I first meet a family,
10:19I go in and I watch the dynamic
10:20between the parents and the children.
10:23And afterwards,
10:24I sit down with them
10:25and I address the issues
10:27that definitely need to be sorted out.
10:29Arthur, Kathy,
10:31I've seen more than enough
10:32so why don't we sit down
10:34in the dining area
10:34and go and discuss these issues, okay?
10:37Okay.
10:37Great.
10:38I'm a little nervous
10:39about what Jill's going to say.
10:41I know that she's going to have
10:42a lot to pick out.
10:43I was really thinking, you know,
10:45what is she going to be able to tell me?
10:47Or what is she going to be able to tell Kathy
10:49that Kathy's going to be able
10:50to relate to our kids?
10:52Now, I have to take my hat off
10:54to the pair of you.
10:56I think you have done
10:57tremendously well with Paige.
10:59And I must say,
11:00you have three beautiful children.
11:03You really do.
11:05But something's got to give.
11:10The television is on in every room.
11:13It doesn't get switched off.
11:14And that's having a serious impact
11:16on the kids.
11:18None of the children play together.
11:20I agree.
11:20I guess the television
11:21and the games as it means to babysit.
11:25But let's talk about that, Kathy.
11:26There isn't a schedule.
11:28There is no routine in the house
11:29where things get done.
11:31Not only has that got the children
11:32not knowing what's coming next,
11:34but actually,
11:35you haven't got the foggiest either.
11:36And on top of all of this,
11:39we've got bedtime.
11:40Now, bedtime is just a joke.
11:44Yes, it is.
11:46Yesterday, you struggled.
11:47You struggled hard
11:49putting those children to bed.
11:52Arthur, where were you?
11:55I don't really have to explain to you
11:57how worn down Kathy is
11:59and how she's feeling.
12:02I mean, why?
12:05You observed one night.
12:07I do help.
12:09Kathy, that's not what you were telling me.
12:11He helps here and there,
12:12but it's not a consistent type of help
12:14as I needed it last night.
12:16Why are you not there
12:17on the weekends
12:19when you can be?
12:21Why do you not prioritize things
12:22so that you can have
12:24that quality time with them?
12:28And what part of you, Arthur,
12:29is not listening
12:31to the fact that Kathy needs your help?
12:35The part of Arthur,
12:37they're selfish.
12:38You say you miss your family
12:39and you want to be with them.
12:41But I don't see that happening.
12:43In my opinion,
12:44Joe's in fantasy land.
12:45She had to gall to call me selfish
12:47and she doesn't know me that well.
12:49There is no reason
12:50why we can't change
12:50what's going on here
12:52for the better
12:52so that you're both happy as a couple
12:54and so that your kids are much happier.
12:57So are you guys both up
12:58for some serious hard work
13:00to change this?
13:01Yes.
13:01Yes, definitely.
13:02Okay, so let's get to it then.
13:03Okay, great.
13:05I think Joe could see
13:06that I'm just existing
13:08on a day-to-day basis,
13:09just doing things
13:10that I have to do
13:11to get things done,
13:12but I'm not really
13:13that happy inside.
13:16The first thing I do
13:17after observing a family
13:19is to go back
13:20and place on their merry walls
13:23a structured routine.
13:25How are you doing?
13:25Very well.
13:26So that's exactly
13:27what I did for the Webb family
13:28because they do desperately
13:30need a routine.
13:31There is no structure.
13:32First off,
13:33we have a weekday routine.
13:36Kids at school,
13:38and of course,
13:38Mum, you're at work.
13:39Okay.
13:39And at 2.30,
13:41the kids come home.
13:432.30 to 3.45,
13:45the kids can have
13:46some TV time.
13:48Okay.
13:497 to 7.30,
13:50from bath time onwards,
13:52we're encouraging
13:52that whole wind-down period.
13:54Right, right.
13:55So 8.30,
13:55lights out.
13:57The schedule
13:57that Joe put together,
13:58I really appreciate
13:59the time and effort
14:00she put into it.
14:01What I want Joe to do
14:02is to teach Kathy
14:03to get better control
14:04of the household
14:05when I'm not here.
14:06This is a very optimistic
14:07weekday routine.
14:09Okay.
14:09Very optimistic.
14:11Weekend,
14:11as you can see there,
14:127 o'clock,
14:13everybody waking up.
14:18Everybody.
14:19Everybody.
14:20That's not going to happen.
14:21Every...
14:22Why is that, Arthur?
14:23It's not going to happen.
14:24I'm up at 5 o'clock
14:26every day during the week.
14:28Arthur, work with me here.
14:30Come on.
14:31Work with me.
14:32All right,
14:33I'll tell you what.
14:33Okay, I'll tell you what.
14:35Give us a chance to work.
14:36On the weekends
14:37is not,
14:38absolutely not going to happen.
14:39The point I am trying
14:40to make, Arthur,
14:41is that if you choose
14:43not to do something,
14:45then Kathy's just going to go,
14:46well, who is going to do it?
14:47I might as well do it.
14:48You know,
14:49admittedly,
14:49there's probably some things
14:50that I could do
14:51to help out a little bit more
14:52and I'm willing to do that.
14:53This is going to happen.
14:53I'm going to have to...
14:54Okay, we'll see.
14:55Okay.
14:55So, let's just finish here
14:57and start getting on with it.
15:01Arthur left for work.
15:02So, over the next couple of days,
15:04Mum and I
15:05and the kids
15:06will be working
15:06on the weekday routine.
15:07Okay, Kathy,
15:08can I have your attention
15:09for a minute?
15:09I just want to go through
15:11some discipline
15:12with you for the kids.
15:13Okay.
15:14Every household
15:14needs discipline
15:15but I noticed
15:16that Kathy
15:16didn't have
15:18any set technique
15:19in place.
15:20So, I introduced
15:21the naughty chair.
15:22Oh, my goodness!
15:24Not long after,
15:25I got to see
15:26exactly how
15:27she was going
15:27to handle it.
15:31Joseph.
15:32I have your grandma.
15:33Joseph.
15:34Are you outside?
15:35No.
15:35No, we don't yell
15:36inside the house.
15:36This is your first warning.
15:38No more yelling
15:38inside the house.
15:39Now, go sit in your seat
15:40and wait for Mum
15:40to finish to fix some dinner.
15:43Good, Mum.
15:46Joseph,
15:46I ask you not
15:47to yell inside the house.
15:48Okay.
15:49This is your second warning.
15:50Ah, ah, ah, ah.
15:51Did I just get one?
15:53Ah, yeah.
15:53Is my warning?
15:54Okay.
15:55Yet again,
15:56Joseph didn't listen
15:57to Mum.
15:58He was shouting
15:58and he had to go
16:00on the naughty chair.
16:01There's no yelling
16:02inside the house.
16:02I asked you,
16:03I gave you a warning
16:04but you continue to do it.
16:05Sit here
16:06for seven minutes.
16:07Okay.
16:08Mum, this is teaching.
16:09Okay, we're straight down.
16:10Joseph,
16:11you were told
16:12by Mummy
16:13to stop yelling.
16:15You did not listen
16:16and you have been sent
16:17to the naughty chair.
16:18Now, you will stay here
16:20for seven minutes.
16:22Okay?
16:23It's with conviction here.
16:25You're not having it.
16:25You're the mum of the house.
16:26Do as you're told.
16:28Full stop.
16:29Otherwise,
16:29you're going to be spending
16:30a lot of time
16:30on that naughty chair.
16:32That's his choice.
16:33Mum used to let Joseph
16:34get away with blue murder
16:36and all of a sudden now
16:38she's got the naughty chair
16:39and she's to be taken seriously.
16:45Come in, young man.
16:46Get to the naughty chair.
16:47Don't even speak.
16:48Go and get him.
16:58Bring him straight back
16:59downstairs into that chair.
17:00Remember,
17:01you're me in business.
17:03Kath,
17:04no speaking.
17:05Just bring him down.
17:08I told Kathy
17:09to bring the naughty chair
17:10into the kitchen
17:11so she could carry on
17:12with dinner.
17:12Come in, young man.
17:14Come in, young man.
17:14Come in, young man.
17:15Come in, young man.
17:16Come in, young man.
17:17It was time to give the girls a bath,
17:32but Joseph,
17:33he was carrying on.
17:34So I told Mum
17:35to bring the naughty chair
17:36straight up to the bathroom.
17:37and she was carrying on.
17:41Wee!
17:41Kathy's persistence
17:42paid off.
17:43After an hour,
17:45Joseph finally gave up.
17:47OK, Mum,
17:47I remember your voice.
17:49All right,
17:49remember what Joseph
17:50has just done.
17:51I want you to apologize to me
17:53for getting out of your naughty chair.
17:55Okay.
17:55Let's go downstairs
17:57and have some pizza
17:58and some dessert.
18:00Would you like that?
18:01No, Fred!
18:02Let's go.
18:07Today,
18:08I introduce Dr. Lynn Cagle
18:09to Kathy
18:10to help Paige
18:11with her speech.
18:12And that was so nice
18:13of you to introduce us.
18:14And that's your little sister.
18:17Hi, Madison.
18:18Say hi.
18:19Hi.
18:19Dr. Cagle
18:20runs the University
18:21of California
18:22Research Center
18:23which helps thousands
18:25of special-need children
18:26around the world.
18:28Should we go in here
18:28and play?
18:29You want...
18:30Oh, in here?
18:31Are these your toys?
18:32Whose turn?
18:34Dad.
18:34Okay, you do it.
18:36Okay, this is your turn?
18:37Yes.
18:38Say my turn.
18:39Dad, don't.
18:39All right,
18:40here it comes.
18:41Great,
18:42and that was perfect
18:42because instead of just saying
18:43yes,
18:44you went a step further
18:45to have her say my turn.
18:46That was excellent.
18:47I wanted to work with Kathy
18:48to have her ask
18:49more open-ended questions
18:51and more questions
18:52all together.
18:53She wasn't asking
18:53very many questions
18:54nor was she asking
18:56a lot of different
18:57types of questions.
18:58Whose turn is it?
19:00Dad, Jacko.
19:01Dr. Cagle?
19:02Dr. Cagle,
19:03you've got a good memory, huh?
19:04You're so smart.
19:05You remembered my name.
19:07Paige did a lot
19:07of remarkable things
19:08as far as repeating
19:09Dr. Cagle's name.
19:11That was something
19:12that I had never seen
19:13her do before,
19:14have that recollection
19:15so quickly.
19:15If it's hard to understand
19:16her, you could even
19:17have her say it
19:18one more time.
19:18Okay.
19:19I mean,
19:19I wouldn't do it
19:19if she starts
19:20turning her off,
19:21but, okay, okay.
19:23It's a dog.
19:24Dog.
19:24What does the dog say?
19:25Woo-woo-woo.
19:26Woo-woo-woo.
19:27Very good.
19:29Very good.
19:29That's excellent.
19:30That's excellent
19:31having her name.
19:31And, you know,
19:32she's doing so well,
19:33you might even want
19:33to go a step further.
19:35If she says cow,
19:36you could say brown cow
19:37and just say a little
19:38more after adding
19:38on to what she says.
19:40But that was excellent.
19:41I love that.
19:42That's a cake?
19:43I was so happy
19:44with the progress
19:44that Paige made.
19:45And really,
19:46I have to give
19:46her mom credit.
19:47She must have said
19:48dozens of words
19:49just in a 15-minute period.
19:51So I was so incredibly
19:53impressed with how
19:54quickly Kathy picked it up
19:55and was able to just
19:56evoke that communication
19:58to get her talking
19:59and get her using
20:00all kinds of different words
20:01and getting them
20:02a little clearer.
20:02Hey,
20:03say Mickey.
20:05Mickey.
20:06Mickey.
20:08Mickey.
20:09Mickey.
20:09Mickey.
20:10Mickey.
20:11Mickey.
20:11Oh,
20:12very good.
20:13That was great.
20:13Nice job.
20:14That was good.
20:16I'm really optimistic
20:17that Paige's
20:18communication will just
20:19explode if Kathy
20:20continues to do
20:21as well as she did.
20:22Okay,
20:22what else do we have here?
20:24What's that?
20:24Mickey Mouse.
20:27That was great.
20:28Wow.
20:28That was so clear.
20:30Just looking at
20:31what Dr. Cagle
20:31and also Joe
20:32has shown me,
20:33I think it's going
20:34to definitely help
20:35Paige with her speech.
20:36After Dr. Cagle
20:37left,
20:37I introduced
20:38the shared play technique.
20:40These children
20:40haven't been taught
20:41how to play
20:43with each other,
20:43which is so sad.
20:45Joseph,
20:46this is a game
20:46that we're playing.
20:48This is really good
20:49because we'll be able
20:50to show Paige
20:52and Madison
20:54how to play this game.
20:56We've never sat down
20:57and played a game
20:58together as a family.
20:59Each child presses
21:00the teeth
21:01in the crocodile's mouth.
21:02Joseph,
21:03you're going to be first,
21:04then Paige,
21:06and then Maddie.
21:07All fingers away.
21:09Ready?
21:10Who's the first
21:10person to take a turn?
21:12Okay.
21:13It's all about
21:14give and take,
21:15learning to share,
21:17learning to take turns.
21:19It's Paige next.
21:20This is not just
21:21a skill you learn
21:22for playing games,
21:24it's also something
21:25that you take
21:25with you into adulthood.
21:27Paige,
21:28say,
21:28my turn.
21:29That girl.
21:31My turn.
21:32My turn.
21:33I'm a good girl.
21:34Okay,
21:35you push down the teeth.
21:38Woo!
21:42It's your turn,
21:43Madison.
21:44I was just happy
21:44to see them sharing.
21:45It's not a new concept,
21:47but it's a new concept
21:47for us,
21:48for the kids to share.
21:50So,
21:50that was good to see.
21:51Coming to Harper.
21:52It's your turn.
21:55Okay,
21:56your turn now, Paige.
22:00Woo!
22:01Yay!
22:02To me,
22:03what was wonderful
22:04to see
22:04was there was energy
22:05in the house.
22:06Laughing,
22:07giggling,
22:07and having fun
22:09instead of the house
22:10that we'd seen
22:10two days before,
22:12which was completely flat.
22:13And this is how
22:14their house should be.
22:16Oh, my,
22:16oh, my,
22:16oh, my,
22:17oh, my,
22:18oh, my,
22:18oh, my,
22:19bedtime drags on
22:26in this house,
22:26and tonight,
22:27I'm going to help
22:28Kathy to change that.
22:30What we want to do
22:31is to show the children
22:32that they're not
22:33being rewarded
22:34with communication.
22:35A breaking cycle.
22:37Right.
22:38That has been going on
22:39for years.
22:40And tonight,
22:41we're doing it.
22:42Great.
22:42So it's
22:54kisses and cuddles
22:55tucking the children
22:56into bed.
22:57Come on with us way.
22:58Mum.
22:59Short and sweet.
23:00Kiss, hug,
23:01and let's go.
23:02That's in the morning.
23:03As she kissed
23:04the children
23:05goodnight
23:06and came out
23:08of the children's bedrooms,
23:10they started to come out.
23:11What's the first thing
23:12you say, Mum?
23:13Back to bed.
23:14It's bedtime.
23:15Hey, baby, Mummy.
23:17It's bedtime.
23:18Remember,
23:19every time
23:20you talk to your kids,
23:22you're going to put
23:22half an hour
23:23on your bedtime.
23:24Right, let's go.
23:25What do we have here?
23:26No talking, Mum.
23:27What do we say
23:28in the technique?
23:29What's the second thing?
23:30Bedtime.
23:32All right.
23:38Maddie,
23:39bedtime.
23:39The kids,
23:48they weren't having
23:49none of it.
23:50As soon as Mum
23:51put them into their bedrooms,
23:53they came back out
23:54straight away.
23:57OK, Mum.
23:58Deal with Joseph
23:59and them both girls.
24:00Mother's doing a fantastic job
24:11right now.
24:12She's putting those kids
24:13back into bed
24:14and they're just testing
24:15on every level
24:16and then some.
24:19As you can see.
24:21Ow.
24:23After trying to put the kids
24:25to bed for two hours,
24:26at that point,
24:27I said,
24:27Jo, this is not working.
24:29I'm sorry.
24:30You may have done it
24:30with other children before,
24:31but the well children,
24:32it's not going to work with them.
24:33At that point,
24:34I was not a believer.
24:36Be firm.
24:36Make him walk.
24:39Kathy was doing great,
24:40but Joseph continued
24:41to test Mum
24:43by distracting the girls
24:44and I knew then
24:45that I had to take
24:47more drastic measures
24:48about this bedtime technique.
24:50All right, Mum,
24:51let's stop right here.
24:52Let's stop right here.
24:53Let's start taking charge.
24:54Let's start having
24:55some authority
24:56around this house.
24:56I want you to go
24:57straight into Joseph's room
24:58and I want you to pick up
24:59that video game
25:00and the remote controls
25:01and take them out of his room.
25:03All right,
25:04none of this nonsense now.
25:05Let me go.
25:05Remove the box.
25:07All right, that's it.
25:09Video game gone.
25:10Joseph, come here, please.
25:11Your mother asked you
25:13to go to bed
25:14and to behave yourself
25:15and I know
25:17that you understand, Mummy.
25:19I have taken your video game
25:21out of your room.
25:22Now, I want you
25:23to go back to your bed
25:25and to behave well
25:26and go to sleep
25:27and if you don't
25:28start doing that,
25:30then I'm going to
25:30take the television
25:31out of your room
25:32and the computer
25:33and it will be gone
25:35for two days.
25:37Once Mum took
25:37the video game away,
25:38oh, Joseph got the message.
25:40It didn't come out
25:41of his room.
25:42You did really well.
25:42I'm really proud of you.
25:43You're basically
25:44taking control.
25:46You should be proud
25:46of yourself
25:47because you've done
25:47a good job.
25:48We're just going
25:49to be consistent
25:49and follow through.
26:11Plus,
26:13exactly,
26:13they're just settling now.
26:15Look how much earlier it is.
26:16Each night,
26:18it was about three hours
26:20to get the kids in bed.
26:21Tonight,
26:21it was maybe two hours.
26:23I know it's a work
26:24in progress,
26:25but I know
26:26we're going to get there.
26:27OK, take care.
26:28It's time for me to go
26:29and Kathy will be
26:30on her own
26:31for a couple of days,
26:32but I will be keeping
26:33an eye on her
26:33and Arthur
26:34when he gets home.
26:37I've left Mum
26:38for a couple of days
26:39to implement
26:40all the techniques,
26:41but I'm also looking forward
26:43to seeing how Dad's
26:44going to get on
26:45with the kids.
26:48Apologize to her
26:49right now.
26:51Sit in the seat.
26:52You're in here
26:52because you hit
26:53your sister
26:53and you're yelling
26:54in the house.
26:55We do not yell
26:55in the house
26:56and you do not
26:56hit your sister.
26:58Good, Mum.
26:59That hitting
27:00has landed him
27:00straight into
27:01the naughty chair.
27:02Mommy!
27:05Mommy!
27:07Madison,
27:08do you want
27:08the strawberry
27:09or the orange?
27:09Sit there
27:14and stay
27:15the way
27:15to stick with it.
27:17I did this.
27:19Delicious.
27:20I want you
27:21to apologize
27:21for screaming
27:22and for hitting
27:23your sister.
27:24Sorry.
27:25Sorry for what?
27:26I'm screaming.
27:27Okay.
27:28Come on back.
27:28Let's eat dinner.
27:31Well done, Kathy.
27:32You've really
27:32got that down.
27:36You want to do
27:37that first
27:37and you want
27:38to do high
27:38go seek first.
27:39Oh, that's fantastic.
27:41The kids are
27:41getting some
27:42quality time
27:42with Dad.
27:48Say, where are you?
27:50You don't see him?
27:52He's not back there.
27:53Oh, he is back there.
27:54You found him, Eddie.
27:58That's not the one
27:59you had.
28:01Stop it.
28:02Arthur, what's
28:02that all about?
28:04What about
28:04the naughty chair?
28:07I'm going to read
28:12with Jojo.
28:13Talk the right way,
28:14okay?
28:15Good Daddy,
28:15goodnight kiss.
28:16Arthur, that's great.
28:18I'm glad to see
28:18you're getting
28:19involved in the
28:19bedtime technique.
28:20Bedtime.
28:24Now, here's
28:25the challenge.
28:28One second.
28:32Hey, Arthur.
28:33Yeah?
28:34Can you come up
28:34for a second?
28:35All right.
28:37What do you want
28:39me to do?
28:40Help me keep
28:41the girls on the bed.
28:42As they get up,
28:43let's take them
28:43right back and
28:44put them in the bed.
28:45Great, Kathy.
28:46Explain the technique
28:46to him.
28:47No cuddles?
28:48No.
28:49All right.
28:49All right, no cuddles.
28:51That's how long
28:51that lasts.
28:53So, if that takes
28:54until 9, 30, 10 o'clock,
28:56you're supposed
28:56to continue to do this?
28:57Mm-hmm.
28:59Man, long outside.
29:00So, this is
29:02the technique?
29:04Mm-hmm.
29:04Okay.
29:08Picking up the kids,
29:09taking them back
29:09to the bed.
29:10No cuddling,
29:11no talking,
29:12no conversation
29:12or anything like that.
29:14I don't see where
29:14that adds value.
29:15What?
29:17Arthur, you're just
29:18giving up.
29:19I've got to get back
29:20and show you
29:21how this is done.
29:23How are you?
29:24Good.
29:25Good.
29:25I love sitting down
29:26with the parents
29:27and watching the
29:28DVD footage
29:29because it gives
29:30them an opportunity
29:31to see exactly
29:32where they've gone wrong.
29:34Let's take a look
29:34at some footage here
29:35and see how you guys
29:36got on.
29:37Okay?
29:38Excited.
29:41Justice, stop hitting.
29:42That's not acceptable.
29:44Come on.
29:44We're going to the naughty chair.
29:45You did not hit your sister.
29:47Stay in this chair
29:48for seven minutes.
29:50Sorry for what?
29:52Right?
29:53Okay.
29:54Yay!
29:54Love the consistency here.
29:59Placing him back
30:00onto that chair.
30:01When he realized
30:02that he had to stay
30:02on that naughty chair,
30:03he then tried to
30:04interact with you
30:05and get your attention.
30:06But you followed through
30:07and you did the technique
30:08and that is really important.
30:14Give me!
30:15That's not the one you had.
30:18Stop it.
30:19Oh, no.
30:20That's a naughty chair.
30:22No, no naughty chair for me.
30:23Stop taking things.
30:24Let me grab you on that.
30:27You believe in giving...
30:29I believe a firm tap.
30:31I don't believe in spanking
30:32and that kind of stuff
30:33but I do believe a firm tap
30:35has its place.
30:36There was a firm tap
30:37and that was it
30:39for the whole day
30:40with Joseph.
30:40No more problems.
30:41The only problem is
30:43is that you tap.
30:44You're then saying
30:45to your kids,
30:45don't hit.
30:47I understand that.
30:48So,
30:48there's a mixed message
30:49for the kids.
30:51The physical reprimand
30:52will always override
30:54and undermine
30:56any other technique
30:57we use as discipline.
30:59We can move off the subject.
31:00I don't know what you're going to do
31:01but I know what I'm going to do.
31:03Well,
31:04I think that we should go
31:05with the naughty chair
31:06since I'm here
31:07five days out of the week
31:08with them
31:09and that's what
31:09they're used to.
31:10Okay, well,
31:11when we're here together
31:12if you want to do
31:13naughty chairs,
31:14discipline,
31:14you can use it.
31:15When I have them alone,
31:16I'm going to use a firm tap.
31:18You're the parents.
31:19At the end of the day,
31:19you guys are going to do
31:20what you're going to do
31:21but understand
31:22the conflict it will cause
31:24when trying to discipline
31:25the children.
31:27Good night kiss.
31:29What do you want me to do?
31:32Help me keep the girls
31:33on the bed.
31:35Paige, get back in the bed.
31:36I've done all I can do.
31:42Where is daddy?
31:44I'm giving up.
31:45When you did it
31:46for half an hour,
31:47did you feel like
31:48it wasn't working
31:49so it was like,
31:49kind of,
31:49Kathy, deal with this
31:50because I really don't feel
31:51that my heart's in it.
31:52Absolutely.
31:52When kids are hungry,
31:53they're going to eat.
31:54When they're sleepy,
31:54they're going to sleep
31:55and this became a game.
31:57The point of the
31:57stay in bed technique
31:58is so that you're not
32:00going into their room
32:01every time they call
32:02but that when they come
32:04out of their room
32:04and come into yours,
32:06you can put them
32:07straight back into bed.
32:08Now, Joseph and Maddie
32:10do understand that concept.
32:12Sometimes Paige
32:13will cooperate
32:14and go down.
32:15Another time,
32:15she'll instigate
32:16because she's a special
32:18needs child.
32:20Her behavior
32:20is inconsistent.
32:21And my question
32:23to you guys
32:24is about placing
32:26Maddie or Paige
32:27in the other room
32:29which would mean
32:31that Maddie would
32:33always get
32:34that consistency
32:35with you placing
32:36her back
32:36and Paige
32:37you deal with
32:38on a separate basis.
32:40I think it'll help a lot.
32:42There's certain things
32:43that I am going to do
32:44and there's certain things
32:44I'm not going to do
32:45but I'll be right there
32:46rooting Kathy on.
32:47So, we're going to work
32:48through some stuff today.
32:50Anything that needs
32:51reinforcing,
32:51we'll do that.
32:52Okay.
32:53And we'll go through
32:53the techniques.
32:55Okay.
32:55All right.
32:56Brilliant.
33:01We've got to put the butts up.
33:02Where do your butts fall off?
33:04In the bedroom.
33:05John, did you hear that?
33:06I said,
33:07where do your butts fall off?
33:08In the bedroom.
33:09In the bedroom.
33:10Good job.
33:12I thought we should
33:12get straight to it
33:13and put the girls
33:15in different bedrooms.
33:17I don't think
33:17we should do it right now.
33:20Well, we saw by the DVD
33:22it was crucial.
33:23We need to.
33:24Okay.
33:25I was against
33:26changing the bedroom
33:26right now
33:27but, you know,
33:28it was really something
33:29I was doing
33:29as a gesture
33:30to my wife
33:31and to my family.
33:34After Arthur came around
33:35he took charge
33:36and got busy.
33:45Okay.
33:46Good job.
33:48It was time for bed
33:50and mum and dad
33:51teamed up
33:51to get the kids
33:52settled in.
33:53That's a giraffe.
33:54Giraffe.
33:55What was a little boy
33:56named Joseph?
33:58That's lovely.
33:59That's lovely.
34:00The end.
34:01Okay.
34:03Time to go to sleep.
34:05Paige,
34:05time to go to your bed.
34:09Madison,
34:10this is your bed
34:11right here.
34:12Joseph didn't come
34:12out of his room.
34:14Paige stayed in her room
34:15for the first time
34:16but with Maddie
34:17but with Maddie
34:17things took a little longer.
34:20Tonight,
34:21dad agreed to help mum
34:22with the bedtime technique.
34:26Alright,
34:26here's the situation now.
34:27Paige is trying to go to sleep.
34:29Maddie's in the landing area.
34:30put her back to bed
34:31but you say nothing
34:32because once you start talking
34:34she'll get up out of her bed
34:36every time
34:38because she's hoping
34:38that you'll talk to her.
34:44Dad put Maddie
34:45straight back in
34:46and she came back out.
34:48So you guys got about
34:54five more minutes
34:54of this with me.
34:56Kathy will tell you
34:56I'm not patient.
35:01You put her back in
35:05and she came back out.
35:08It's now a game.
35:10Officially.
35:11Okay,
35:12give me two for good faith.
35:14No,
35:14it's a game now.
35:16Hold on,
35:16Arthur,
35:16Arthur,
35:17Arthur.
35:18Are you making a decision
35:19to go downstairs
35:20and leave Kathy up here
35:21on her own?
35:22I don't have a commitment
35:23to the technique.
35:24So what's your decision?
35:25I'm going downstairs.
35:27I really do like
35:28Joe's techniques
35:29for setting the atmosphere
35:30for bedtime
35:31and I'll continue
35:32to support Kathy
35:33but,
35:34you know,
35:34maybe I thought
35:35there was a magic wand.
35:37Arthur has been unwilling
35:38to follow through
35:39with the bedtime technique
35:41but tonight
35:42he's stuck with it
35:43for 30 minutes.
35:45Hey,
35:45it's better than nothing.
35:48So Kathy stepped in
35:52and took over
35:53and it worked.
35:57She stayed in her room
35:58and Maddie didn't come out again.
36:01And you really have been an inspiration.
36:04I'm very happy.
36:04Me too.
36:06I'm glad you're happy.
36:07But you deserve
36:08to be happy.
36:10It's time for me to say goodbye.
36:11Oh,
36:11I'm going to miss you.
36:13Joe being here
36:14has definitely changed my life.
36:17But she's the one that
36:17showed me
36:19what I needed to do
36:20to get my life in order.
36:21So,
36:21I feel as if
36:22she did something special for me.
36:25Take care of yourself.
36:26Keep on top of everything.
36:27I will.
36:28Remind yourself
36:28of the techniques.
36:29Mm-hmm.
36:30Okay.
36:33How you guys doing?
36:34Good.
36:35Good.
36:36Good.
36:37All down?
36:37Yeah.
36:38And the night is yours?
36:39Yes.
36:40Because it's time for me to leave?
36:42Thanks for making me
36:43do some introspection.
36:44It is important
36:45because this is about
36:46your children.
36:47Oh, yeah.
36:48Thank you so much.
36:49It's been great.
36:51Yeah.
36:52Take care.
36:52Arthur,
36:53take care.
36:53Thanks again.
36:54Take care.
36:55And,
36:55say goodnight
36:57to those children for me.
36:59I feel that
36:59there has been
37:00progress made in the house.
37:03Mum has turned
37:03things around for herself.
37:05This woman smiled
37:06because behind
37:08there was a woman
37:08that wanted to cry.
37:10And now there's a woman
37:10that's smiling
37:11and feeling
37:11very satisfied
37:13with what she's achieved.
37:14And I'm so proud
37:16of her for that.
37:17It's amazing
37:27to be able to see
37:28now that I missed out
37:29on a lot of things
37:31we could have been doing
37:31together as a family.
37:33Now I know
37:34that I need to take advantage
37:35of every moment
37:36I have to spend with them.
37:37Hey, it's time to eat dinner.
37:38Come on and help mommy
37:39with the dinner.
37:39We're going to put the plates
37:40on the table and the forts.
37:42Oh, yeah.
37:44Paid's speech
37:44has really, really improved.
37:47She has just come
37:48a long way
37:49in using her words
37:50and I'm interacting
37:51with her more.
37:54Joe's routine
37:55has helped me
37:56realize that I need
37:57to do things
37:58a little bit differently
37:59to be a better dad
38:00to the kids,
38:01to spend more time
38:01with them
38:02and more quality time.
38:03You know how to play
38:04this one too?
38:04We have seen Arthur
38:06change from being
38:07a couch potato
38:08on the weekends
38:09to being more involved
38:10with the children,
38:11playing games with them
38:12and being involved
38:13in the family playtime
38:15and even taking us
38:16out to the park.
38:18I have structure.
38:22I know that I can
38:23get them home
38:24fed, play with
38:26and bathe
38:29and in the bed
38:30by 8.30.
38:31It's going to make me
38:32feel a lot better
38:33being on the road
38:34that she's got a schedule.
38:36Hope this works for her
38:36during the week
38:37and hope it helps
38:38to put my mind at ease.
38:39Hey, Madison!
38:40Joe came in
38:41and made me do
38:43some introspection.
38:44You know,
38:45made me look at myself
38:46and what I could do
38:47differently
38:47and I'm thankful
38:49for that.
38:50I want to say to Joe,
38:51thank you so much
38:52for changing my life,
38:53bringing my family
38:54back together.
38:55I love you.
38:56Thank you for helping
38:57me become the
38:58talkative mother
38:59that I've always
39:00wanted to be.
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