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The 3 oldest kids are acting out. They're destructive, breaking Rules little nightmares! Jo discovers that the main problem with the family is the parents' bickering and fighting. Do your parents fight a lot?
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00:00Hey, we're the Larmers. I'm Judy. I'm Ed. And we have four children. John is four years old. We have twins, Justin and Jessica. They are two and a half, and we have a baby named Joey. And he's 11 months old. Four adorable children. I work from 6.30 to 4.30. That means Judy has the kids all day long.
00:24Uh-oh. Our kids are extremely destructive. Don't hit your sister with it. There are so many broken things in our house. They peel the wallpaper off the walls. They've broken slats in the wood blinds. John loves to get on our dining room table and swing the light around. We just moved to Fort Worth, Texas from Florida to be closer to my family.
00:49I mean, I'm their grandmother, and I love them dearly, but I really don't want them at my house.
00:58These children are into everything. Our kids, they don't listen to us. Get in the house. Justin, come up by the truck.
01:07Our son, John, he is very dominant with the other kids. Look at the eldest one. He's always pushing Justin around and hitting him and knocking him down.
01:16John Edward Larmer, take your turn. When I get home, I try to lay down the law, because the kids are running crazy.
01:22Time out. No. Spank butt. Where are we going with this?
01:27Whatever it takes. I would like a happy family that likes to hang out together.
01:32Knock my eyes off. Sorry. Knock it off. Bit of a stern voice.
01:37No, Joey.
01:40Please, Super Nanny, come help us. We need it.
01:43This house is out of control. We need you, Super Nanny. We need you desperately. Please come and help us.
01:57I'm on my way.
01:58Hello. Oh, my God. How are you?
02:10I'm great. How are you?
02:11Very well. Pleased to meet you. I'm Jo.
02:14I'm so excited.
02:15Pleased to meet you. Who's this little one here?
02:17This is Justin. He's one of the twins.
02:19Hi, Justin.
02:21When I first met Jo, I was so excited, I almost cried.
02:24I thought, there's my light at the end of the tunnel. There's my hope. And I can finally have my kids in my house fixed.
02:31Jo, this is my husband, Ed.
02:32Hi, Ed.
02:32Nice to meet you.
02:33Pleased to meet you.
02:34Pleasure.
02:35Yeah.
02:35I'm here today. I'm going to be watching the family.
02:39First time I saw Jo, I just instantly got butterflies. I was nervous. I sweated palms. I just, you know, choked up. Didn't know what to say.
02:46You have to wait now?
02:47Yes.
02:48Yes, ma'am.
02:49Okay, well, have a good day today.
02:50Yes, ma'am.
02:51And Ed, I'll see you when you get back.
02:52All right.
02:53The first thing that I noticed when I walked into the house was that the children were playing in the living room like it was a playground.
03:00And so I recognized very quickly that the behavior that I was seeing from the children was because of boredom, that they weren't being occupied.
03:16And then mum pulled me aside and she gave me a quick tour of the house.
03:23And this latch is for what purpose?
03:25To keep them in their rooms.
03:27Whenever they're in this room, you lock the door.
03:28Whenever they're in here to sleep, I hook the door shut.
03:31Are there locks on every door? It's like, that's still got a lock on it. The bedroom door.
03:34My door has a lock. John's door has a lock.
03:37John's door.
03:37I couldn't believe it. There were gates and locks on every door. I thought it was a little bit extreme.
03:43You have to barricade quite a lot in your home.
03:47I do it just to, like, minimize my hassles.
03:51After the lock-up tour of the house had finished, I got to see the other method of prevention.
03:57Get off there now. You do not climb on the furniture.
04:02John, get off the fireplace.
04:05Leave the computer alone.
04:07Do not spin that chair out of the kitchen.
04:10Mum's definitely got her hands full.
04:12I mean, let's face it, keeping four young children occupied is no easy task.
04:17One of their favorite things to play with, like, we don't have enough toys out here, is my husband's mixer.
04:24That doesn't surprise me.
04:26I usually don't let my kids outside that often because they do get dirty and I prefer them to stay clean.
04:32Get out of the mixer.
04:35Jessie Lynn, get out of there right now.
04:37Where's Justin?
04:38Up the gates with me.
04:41Go find a toy to play with.
04:42No.
04:44No one.
04:45With all the time mum's spending chasing these kids around, barking orders at them, she could be playing with them instead.
04:51I said go find a toy to play with.
04:53Jessie, get out of the dirt.
04:54Coming up on Supernanny.
04:57Okay, mister, I don't ever start an argument.
05:01When Joe calls a timeout.
05:02Is this done?
05:04In fact, the kids all the time.
05:05Yes.
05:06Mum's hard shell begins to crack.
05:08What example are you setting?
05:10A terrible one.
05:12When Supernanny returns.
05:13Judy explained to me that she didn't get to spend a lot of time at her mum's house.
05:21We all lived in Florida and one by one my family moved out here.
05:24So do you go over and see your mum and sister a lot?
05:27Like maybe every other week.
05:30I'm not really allowed to go to my mother's very often.
05:33Why is that?
05:34She doesn't like the kids there because they get into too much stuff at her house.
05:38It's a shame.
05:38But today is visiting day, so I'm about to see exactly how it really is at grandma's house.
05:44When we arrived at Sharon's home, I got to know Sharon a little bit.
05:48Hi, pleased to meet you. I'm Joe.
05:50I'm Sharon.
05:51Hi, Sharon. Nice to meet you.
05:53And she started telling me how she loves her grandchildren, but they get their sticky fingers into everything.
05:59They cannot leave their hands off anything.
06:03They just go through the whole home.
06:08Give me those. Give me those. Give me those. Give me those.
06:13Joey, can't touch Nana's things.
06:16So if you know that Judy's coming over here, are you kind of like...
06:20Yes, yes.
06:22It's like with Thanksgiving coming up. I'm stressed already.
06:26I understand that grandma gets really angry about the children into everything,
06:30but they've got nothing else to play or occupy themselves with.
06:34They're kids after all. I mean, where are their toys?
06:36They just come in and tear everything apart.
06:39Oh, my goodness.
06:40So I think her expectations on these children are just a little too harsh.
06:44It's easier at my house where everything's kid-proofed.
06:47But just to even pop over and see your mom is obviously hard work because you can't sit down and have conversation.
06:53It's like not worth coming over because it's just way too much work.
06:57Leave these grapes alone. Now she's breaking your grapes.
07:01Grandparents should want to spend time with their grandchildren, but right now, that's not what's happening.
07:07Come on, Justin, get away from the street.
07:10When Dad got home, he played with the children for a little bit, and then out of nowhere, he and Mom got into one nasty fight.
07:18I don't know what it was about.
07:19I haven't mentioned that in five years, but you have to bring it up like it happened yesterday.
07:26I thought we agreed to leave the past. The past.
07:30It's like if I ask you to do something nicely, you ignore me just like the kids do.
07:34I have to turn into a a raving to get you to do anything.
07:40Can I ask a question?
07:41Go ahead.
07:42Is this done in front of the kids all the time?
07:45Yes.
07:46Parents are going to have arguments from time to time, but the language they were using towards one another in front of the children, I had to interrupt.
07:56I'm going to have to say something. Can I call time out right now?
07:58Yes, you can.
07:59Yeah, because I need to call time out right now.
08:02OK.
08:02Because your children are around you at the moment, and this is something we will discuss later on.
08:09When I first meet a family, I go in and I watch the dynamics between the parents and the children.
08:19After observing the Lama family, I had definitely seen enough, and I knew it was time to call for a family meeting.
08:24So if you guys are ready, let's go and sit down and have a talk.
08:28I'm nervous about the conversation we're going to have with Joe, because I think it's going to be really hard to hear all of our faults.
08:34Going into this family meeting, I am wondering what I am doing wrong.
08:39I'm just nervous that, you know, is she going to throw rocks at me, or is she going to shake my hand?
08:45Let me start off by saying you're extremely grounded parents, and that is a reflection on the way that the children are.
08:56That's a real credibility to the pair of you.
09:00Thanks.
09:00But for me to walk in and see two adults verbally spitting out remarks at one another, where I have to call time out,
09:14because it is only me that is registering that you have young children around you, is beyond me.
09:21What example are you setting the pair of you for the kids?
09:25A terrible one.
09:27Let's talk about the safety in the house.
09:32I love that the pair of you are very responsible in making sure that your children are protected from harm's way,
09:38but the pair of you have gone overboard.
09:42There are stair gates everywhere.
09:44If it's to keep the children in their bedrooms, I think a lot of it is slight laziness.
09:49It was the lazy way out, I guess.
09:52It is the lazy way out, because it doesn't actually benefit the child, and there's no learning curve from the process.
09:59Now let's talk about routine.
10:01You have the cornerstones of a routine, when the children get up, go to school, get ready for the evening.
10:08But the gaps in between are not productive, because in that space of time, the children jump on the sofas,
10:15they play with the cushions.
10:16So these children are bored.
10:18It's wrong.
10:20What I don't see happening are correct measures of discipline here.
10:25But the one thing that I do notice, and that is when the children are being given a warning,
10:31Judy, you are a hardcore girl, and it's a bit intimidating.
10:36Get over there.
10:38Move that here.
10:39Over there.
10:40That's what you sound like.
10:41You're standing over them.
10:44You never come down to their level.
10:47It's easier for me to pick them up to my level.
10:49Judy, how scary is that?
10:52That you be picked up by your shoulders while your mum puts you two inches away from her face.
10:59I tell you one thing, I will be shaking.
11:01It's all right, babe.
11:11I didn't know.
11:15I just feel like such a terrible mum.
11:18I know how much you love your children.
11:21But discipline should not be about intimidation.
11:25You want your children to be able to come to you, to be able to respect you.
11:30But know that as parents, you're going to draw the line.
11:35Are you both committed to put hard work into changing this around?
11:41Yes, I am.
11:42Yeah?
11:43Joe was correct about everything.
11:45We're ready to start this long process of healing this family back to health.
11:50And I do need two key players, because after all, this is about you two guys making sure
11:58that you are happy bringing up four beautiful children.
12:02So if you guys are ready for hard work, I'm ready as soon as possible.
12:05Let's start right now.
12:06When we had our conversation about the family and most of it was aimed towards me, that hurt a lot.
12:13So I really am going to try my hardest to do everything she tells me to do.
12:18Coming up on Supernanny, when Joe introduces productive play...
12:23Okay, let's go! Let's go do some painting!
12:26...things get a little messy.
12:27Happy!
12:29Jessie, no!
12:33When Supernanny returns.
12:36But first, a tip from Supernanny.
12:38Parents, do all you can to make your children safe at home.
12:42A toddler sees the world from this level.
12:44A baby sees it from this level.
12:47So do what you can.
12:49See what they see and protect them.
13:00The first thing I do when I go back to a family is to place a family routine in their house.
13:08Hello?
13:09Hello?
13:10Okay.
13:11The family routine.
13:14All right.
13:14All right, let's go through it.
13:17From 9 to 10, I want you to get productive with Jessie and with Justin.
13:23So let's get messy, let's get arts and crafts out and let these children start enjoying themselves.
13:30When Joe put that schedule on our pantry door, I felt like I would have things that I know I need to be doing with the kids instead of letting them have too much free time.
13:41From 11.15 to 12.15, yet again, productive play.
13:46What that is going to do in the long run is promote a duty that is going to start to chill out a bit.
13:53Start to relax and recognize that having fun with your children comes first.
13:59I like it.
14:00I like it.
14:00It's all in black and white right there.
14:03Judy?
14:03I can't wait to start.
14:04The best part of the new routine is that now I have so much more time to spend with my kids on a positive note instead of just screaming at them all day long.
14:15Judy can be very obsessive when it comes to having everything tidy.
14:19What's it say over here?
14:22Don't touch lines or I'll spank your butt.
14:24It sure does, doesn't it?
14:26Yeah.
14:27She doesn't like mess, so very calculated, I made sure that the productive play in the afternoon was arts and crafts.
14:37Okay, let's go! Let's go do some painting!
14:40Painting!
14:41I have to get used to the kids getting dirty.
14:44Come on, let's go paint!
14:45Because all I have to do is wash them, and they're as good as new.
14:51Do these come out in the washer?
14:52There's the paint, yeah.
14:53Oh yeah, of course, it's all colour washed up.
14:55Okay.
14:55Children's paints are, you know that.
14:57No, I didn't know that because I've never even looked at them.
14:59It's not staying.
15:02At first, Judy was a little bit apprehensive.
15:05Whee! Mommy's going to get her hands!
15:08Oh, let's see!
15:09But when she saw the smiles on their faces, and she saw how much they were enjoying themselves,
15:14I didn't even think she thought about it.
15:17I've never seen my wife get out there and do that with the kids, and they were just having a fun they ain't never had before.
15:23I didn't know you were so good with a paintbrush, John!
15:29Woo!
15:31I think Judy felt proud of herself, and it put a big grin on her face as much as it did the children.
15:36Look at John smiling. Look at them kids, you see?
15:44Our kids need to be kids.
15:46Did you ever go to the park and get yourself rolled with mud?
15:51My mother was so afraid of us making a mess, it was just never allowed to be done.
15:57Do you see a reflection there somewhere?
15:58Yes, I do.
15:59All right, and that's what I want you to do, break that mould.
16:02And I really want it to be different for them, it's just really hard to do something other than what you've known your whole life.
16:10This is what it's about, being kids and having fun.
16:13And she relaxed, and we saw a different side to Judy, and the children saw that side too.
16:22They're definitely having a lot of fun.
16:24They are, they're all smiling, look at their faces.
16:26There was a quiet moment where I could just talk to mum with regards to her tone of voice.
16:36This is you.
16:40Can you put that down?
16:42That sounds...
16:43John!
16:44John!
16:45That sounds terrible.
16:47That is how you speak.
16:48It's a real low, harsh voice, and it's like marching orders.
16:53Joe sat me down to let me know exactly what I sounded like yelling at my kids.
16:59And when she did her imitation of me, it made me flinch.
17:04I can't believe I yelled at my kids like that.
17:07There are three levels, your everyday voice.
17:10Then there's the voice that's slightly higher pitched, and it's when you're praising children.
17:15And then when you are giving the children discipline,
17:17you need to adopt an authoritative tone, which is of a lower tone.
17:21Without the yelling.
17:23Without the yelling.
17:25It's John.
17:26Stop that behaviour, please.
17:29I'm really not happy with that.
17:31So let's practice your tone of voice.
17:34John, please stop doing that.
17:37Okay, that was better.
17:38I want to hear another one, though.
17:39I'm not fully convinced.
17:41No.
17:42No.
17:42John, you are not to swing from the mantelpiece.
17:45Please get down.
17:46Okay, that is better.
17:49Why?
17:49Because I was firm without scaring them.
17:55So I want to practice the praising.
17:58I want to see your voice come up a notch.
18:00Or two.
18:01Or two.
18:02Okay, how about...
18:03Great job, John.
18:05Mommy's really proud of you.
18:07Keep going.
18:07Jessica, that was fantastic.
18:09Jessica, that was fantastic.
18:12It's going to be really tough to make sure that I keep my voice levels correct.
18:17And that I am using the vocal tones that she taught me to use.
18:21Justin, you did a great job.
18:23Look, you did it.
18:24All of a sudden, your eyes light up.
18:28There's a smile.
18:30Cheekbones are in your face.
18:32And everything changes.
18:36Happy.
18:36And that is what I need you to understand about yourself.
18:41Now that Mum's going to work on her voice control, we need to set up some discipline
18:45so that she's not just shouting and yelling at these kids all the time.
18:48Naughty blocks.
18:49And these blocks are going to be consequences for unacceptable behaviour.
18:58John, you either have to get up and help or you need to sit over there.
19:02But you cannot sit on my lap, okay?
19:05We're in the playroom and the kids were helping tidying up.
19:09But John, he was in a pouty mood and he just didn't want to help.
19:12Tell John that you want him to help with the buckets and sit to the side,
19:16but you don't want anybody on you.
19:17You've already told him that you don't want him to sit on you.
19:19I did.
19:20You either help with the buckets or you sit over here by yourself.
19:24I do not want you sitting on me right now.
19:27And give him a warning with a low voice.
19:29John, John, you will listen to Mummy or you will go to your naughty block.
19:35Do you understand me?
19:37Judy did warn him, but he refused to help.
19:39So after the naughty block, he went.
19:43Take the Lego piece off of him and I want you to explain why he's on here.
19:49John, you are on this block because you didn't listen to Mummy.
19:55So now you have to sit here for four minutes.
20:00Leave him.
20:01Leave him.
20:02If he gets off, you'll place him back.
20:03That's what I meant to go through and explain to him.
20:17John, Mummy put you on this naughty block because you did not listen to me.
20:22Now, can you tell Mummy you're sorry?
20:25Let's change.
20:26Let's go play.
20:26Different voice.
20:27Let's go and play.
20:28Come on.
20:28Let's go play.
20:30Coming up on Supernanny.
20:32She thinks I think they're heathens.
20:34And you do think my kids are awful and my kids are not awful.
20:38After a communication breakdown, Joe gets this family talking.
20:42I can read your feelings in the way you talk to me and it hurts.
20:46When Supernanny returns.
20:48Parents, it really is true.
20:53The way you speak to your children has a massive impact on the way they respond.
20:57So don't be shy.
20:58Use that mirror and practice.
21:00That's fantastic.
21:08Judy was working hard on gaining control over the children's behaviour.
21:12And unlike previous visits to grandmas, she had high hopes for the next visits.
21:17So I asked Sharon and Judy to join myself for a chat.
21:21Hello.
21:22How are you today?
21:22I'm all right.
21:23How are you?
21:23Good.
21:24Good to see you.
21:25Up until now, you didn't fully realise how much of an impact your children's behaviour had
21:32on grandma's attitude towards the children in their own home.
21:36Is that correct?
21:37It's correct.
21:38Because we had Joe there as sort of a mediator, I think we were able just to get it all out
21:44in the open.
21:45She thinks I think they're heathens and I never said that.
21:49What are they?
21:49I said they're out of control.
21:51Is it because I left them with so much unoccupied time?
21:55I never said that.
21:56And you do think my kids are awful and my kids are not awful.
22:01They're not well behaved.
22:03What do you expect them to be?
22:05Well behaved.
22:06Tell me what well behaved means.
22:08Somebody that isn't running around all the time.
22:11I mean, bring some of their toys over.
22:14That's a great idea.
22:15When they come to my house from now on, we will have the naughty chair and they'll have
22:20their bucket of toys and books and that that they can play with.
22:24And hopefully everything will work out fine.
22:27We had a chance to actually get out how we truly feel.
22:32The wall that has been building up between us is now like open.
22:37Hopefully with all our new rules in place, I will have better control of the kids.
22:42And they can come to your house.
22:44And I love you.
22:48I'm getting teary as well now.
22:50I'm watching you cry up.
22:52I'm getting all well-eyed now.
22:54Look at my soul.
22:55Oh dear.
22:55Making me feel all emotional.
22:57I became emotional.
22:58That, for me, made me recognise that there were two grown women wanting to heal.
23:05And I think together they'll work it out so that everybody's happy.
23:16In order for mum to feel comfortable with the children at grandma's house, she needs
23:20to be able to trust her children in her own house.
23:23It's time to take off those locks.
23:25Let's take the latch off the door now.
23:27Have a stair gate at the top of the stairs so that the children are free to come in and
23:31out of their bedrooms and to go into each other's and have this hallway space as well.
23:35That'd be great.
23:36Mum's attitude has become more relaxed.
23:39She's been very receptive to the advice I've given her.
23:43She just wants change.
23:48Judy and Ed needed to recognise that they weren't being responsible parents by arguing and fighting
23:54in front of their children.
23:56So I explained to them that we were going to go upstairs to the bedroom and do the 3 in
24:0030 solution to resolve this matter once and for all.
24:05We asked Super Nanny to come to our home to take care of our kids and as it turned out
24:11she's taking care of us.
24:12At the end of every evening I want you guys to do the 3 in 30 solution.
24:18And this is what it is.
24:21Mum and dad write down three issues.
24:24They discuss it amicably.
24:26They do this within 30 minutes and then they shred that piece of paper.
24:31It means to be honest with one another and to truly say how you feel.
24:36My first one is to stop yelling at each other in front of the kids.
24:46Sometimes you're the one that's yelling and you...
24:50We, um, egg each other on basically.
24:55With the way you talk to me.
24:56I can read your feelings in the way you talk to me.
24:58But you just throw them out there like it means nothing to me and it means a lot and it hurts.
25:03I hear Ed saying that he feels egged on by your behaviour and you're feeling like he doesn't
25:09understand you and that causes yelling.
25:12How do you resolve a situation?
25:14Stop whatever we're talking about, whatever the problem was and put it on hold till later.
25:19I think we need to take the... put the kids first, realise that they are in the room and
25:24they don't need to hear us acting like that.
25:26What I'm hearing is you both have agreed to save what you need to discuss in the three
25:33in 30 solution, correct?
25:35Correct.
25:35Correct.
25:36Right, let's move on.
25:38OK, Ed, next one please.
25:40I'm happy with it because I get to write down my issues and tell Judy point blank range what
25:44I'm thinking.
25:45Forgive and move on so that you don't drag up yesterday so that you can move forward.
25:54Sorry, babe.
25:56Sorry.
25:58Try harder.
25:59Yep.
26:01I both want you guys to tear off your paper and shred it.
26:05It is going to be difficult to actually, once it goes in the shredder, act like it's just
26:10disappeared.
26:10OK.
26:11That's going to be really tough and it's going to take a lot of work.
26:13Come on, give me a big hug.
26:19Big boy.
26:20I'm leaving the llama family for a couple of days with all the advice and all the techniques.
26:26Please remember the three in 30 solution.
26:29Judy, relax.
26:32Shake it out.
26:33And remember that tone of voice.
26:36All right?
26:37Thank you so much.
26:39You're more than welcome.
26:41I think what I'm going to miss most about Jo not being here is the support.
26:45Bye.
26:46Say bye, JoJo.
26:47See you.
26:48I'm going to have to check myself instead of her checking me.
26:51That's going to be really tough.
26:52Coming up on Supernanny, with Jo Gunn.
26:59You're not coming in.
27:01Mom and dad revert to their old ways.
27:04I asked you a simple question in a normal tone of voice.
27:07I'm so sick of your hard head.
27:09It's so sad.
27:10The need to be confrontational.
27:14When Supernanny returns.
27:15I'm leaving the llama family for a couple of days with all the advice and all the techniques.
27:26So let's just see how they get on.
27:27We're going to Nana's house.
27:29Yeah.
27:30This box is what we're going to take.
27:31We're going to fill it up with a bunch of our toys so we have stuff to do while we're at Nana's house.
27:38Say hi, Graham.
27:40Hi, Nana.
27:41Because we're going to show Nana all we've learned.
27:44This is off to a good start.
27:45Jesse, let's do a puzzle.
27:47You want to do bugs?
27:48John, you want to do ice cream?
27:51Yes.
27:52There you go.
27:53Great job, John.
27:55You pat that, you pat it, and then it comes out.
27:59Cherry pie.
28:00I like cherry pie.
28:02Look at it.
28:03Way to go, Grandma.
28:04That's the way to get involved.
28:08Yay!
28:10Did Mommy bring lunch?
28:11Here you go, Justin.
28:13Here you go, Jo.
28:14I'm so proud of you.
28:15You're keeping Nana's house nice and clean.
28:19You all are going to clean up the living room now, and then we're going to head home.
28:23Oh, my goodness.
28:24Did we have fun at Nana's house this time?
28:26Yeah, Nana.
28:27Help me.
28:28All right.
28:28Bye-bye, Jo.
28:29What a change.
28:30That's a real success.
28:33You guys want to go swimming?
28:35Good idea, Mom.
28:36Pool time for productive play.
28:37Turn the hose on for Mom.
28:38Mommy has a little time to go get a few chores done, so you guys stay out here, be messy, have fun.
28:54Mom, where are you going?
28:55You've just got out there.
28:58Cleanica, wait.
28:59What about your kids?
29:06Now, y'all stop banging on this door right now.
29:14Go play.
29:16Mom, the kids want to play with you.
29:18You listen to me.
29:22If I got something to do in the house for two minutes, you need to use your patience.
29:26Why can't I have two minutes to myself?
29:28You have lots to do out here.
29:30Find something to do and play nicely.
29:33Go.
29:34You're not coming in.
29:37Judy, remember your time with the kids.
29:41Come on over.
29:42I put all my stuff up.
29:44Babe, I'm really sorry, but you're supposed to have time with the kids.
29:48And I got three of them in the kitchen.
29:50Justin's standing in a chair.
29:51Jessie, come on.
29:55Looks like Dad could use some help with ideas for playtime.
29:58She's trying to watch TV.
30:00You're going to have to be quiet.
30:01You know what?
30:02She's not supposed to be watching TV.
30:03I think y'all are supposed to be doing some type of productive play.
30:07Sorry, baby.
30:07It's going off, okay?
30:08One, two, three.
30:13Come on.
30:13Just go in the other room and play.
30:16What do y'all want to do?
30:16You want to make funny plates with paint?
30:19Uh-huh.
30:19Yeah?
30:20Yeah.
30:21Okay.
30:22I'm going to paint.
30:24Is that where we're going?
30:25No.
30:25You can't go out and paint.
30:27Dinner's in, like, a minute.
30:29Give him a break, Mom.
30:30At least he's trying.
30:31Okay, let's play set the table.
30:34Jeez, and you've only been at it for a couple of minutes.
30:36Judy, lighten up.
30:38You're so harsh.
30:39No, I don't know what to do.
30:40As soon as the subject came up this morning that you didn't like, like money, we decided
30:51we can't talk about this now.
30:53Let it be a 3.30 thing.
30:54You're supposed to get over it right then.
30:57Instead, you held a grudge all morning.
30:59Are you done?
31:01Yeah.
31:02I guess that leads to my number one.
31:04Think twice before being rude in questions or statements.
31:07The way you talk to me is the way I talk back.
31:12I'm so sick of your hard head.
31:14It is your way or no way.
31:16You either do what I say or I'm going to be mad.
31:19And I'm going to stay mad if you don't start doing what I say.
31:22This is supposed to be a discussion, not a fight.
31:25What's the resolution to this?
31:26Until you start taking responsibility for your actions, I don't think there will be one.
31:31All right, we got about a minute.
31:33This is going to take a lot longer than a minute.
31:35I'm heading back.
31:37Having been away for a couple of days, I then return to the family.
31:46Hello.
31:47How are you?
31:48Good to see you.
31:49How are you?
31:49All right.
31:50You well?
31:50Good.
31:51Good.
31:51How are you?
31:52You well?
31:53Good to see you.
31:54It is an opportunity for them to realise the mistakes that they've made, so together we
31:59can then move on to amend them.
32:01So, let's have a look at this stuff now.
32:03Jesse, come here.
32:04Jesse, let's do a puzzle.
32:07So, you pat that and you pat it and then it...
32:10We have fun at Anna's house this time.
32:13Yeah, Anna.
32:14All right.
32:15Love you.
32:16Absolutely fantastic.
32:18And the fact that you've used the box to be able to place everything inside for the
32:23children and just a more productive afternoon here.
32:27It was.
32:28It was way different from all our other visits.
32:31Fantastic.
32:31It's all the pair of you.
32:35What do you all want to do?
32:36You all want to make funny plates with paint?
32:38Uh-huh.
32:39You can't go out and paint.
32:41Dinner's in like a minute.
32:43Then you've only been at it for a couple of minutes.
32:45Well, there's nothing...
32:47I don't know.
32:48I don't know what to do.
32:49I'm not pleased with the tone that was given to Ed, Judy, because what you're doing is
32:55undermining your husband in front of your children.
32:58What I want you to do is to be supportive towards Ed and to teach him.
33:07Mommy has a little time to go get a few chores done.
33:11You go find something to do and play nicely for five minutes.
33:15Go.
33:18Chill out, chill out, chill out.
33:21Ah!
33:22Mom, fantastic idea.
33:24You've got them out.
33:25But what you didn't do was spend time with the children first before allowing yourself
33:31to step out.
33:32You lost patience with Justin there.
33:35And then when telling him, you were right up in his face again.
33:39And that is intimidating.
33:41You need to step back.
33:42So be very aware of your own body space.
33:46Let's carry on with this.
33:47I asked you a simple question in a normal tone of voice.
33:51And you turned it into a big, huge argument.
33:55Think twice before being rude in questions or statements.
33:58We have to come up with a resolution.
34:00We got about a minute.
34:02As I said, the need to be confrontational and win your battle leaves no room for compromise.
34:13This really isn't fair for the children.
34:17I totally agree with you, but I don't know how to make it stop.
34:20Today we are going to do a 3 in 30 solution.
34:24And today I'm going to be here to just move you guys on so that you progress a step more.
34:29Any questions?
34:32No.
34:32We were both out of control, talking in circles, doing everything that Joe told us not to.
34:39Okay, Julie?
34:39No, I'm good.
34:40Okay, so let's get cracking.
34:42All right.
34:44Coming up on Super Nanny, Joe teaches the family to remember to have fun.
34:49And what you have to do is tell Jojo what it is that's missing.
34:53Oh, it was a duck.
34:55Yeah!
34:56Woo!
34:57Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
34:59When Super Nanny returns.
35:02Today I knew that I had to sit down with the pair of them and go through the 3 in 30 solution again.
35:11One way or the other, it means the children are not going to suffer.
35:15And what I would like you to do is to write down three things that you feel are your own flaws.
35:23So if you could do that first, that would be brilliant.
35:25I truly believe it's important to realise that they're taking responsibilities for their own issues.
35:32Ed, read your first flaw about yourself.
35:36I always look at the bad side and take the worst.
35:39How are you going to change that?
35:41When something good's supposed to happen, instead of just figuring for the worst, I'll try to figure for the best.
35:47It does take a lot of courage to admit your own flaws and to talk about them as well.
35:52It's not easy.
35:53Let's talk about one for you.
35:55The way I speak to you.
35:57It's wrong.
35:59I've seen it.
36:01It's kind of like you say, it's awful.
36:03I'm proud that Judy and Ed have realised a lot of stuff about themselves.
36:09Because for me, it means that they're moving in the right direction.
36:14The way you're talking to each other right now is fantastic.
36:17And I'm seeing a breakthrough with the pair of you starting to understand each other's issues.
36:23So that you can get on with being parents to your kids.
36:27And be successful at doing that.
36:29Well done.
36:30Well done.
36:31A big hug!
36:32And I think as long as the pair of them can trust one another and have faith in one another
36:39and believe that they can get through it together, then we're making a footstep in the right direction here.
36:47I was really at a loss at finding something to do that was productive for my children.
36:53I just liked more ideas.
36:54When it comes to productive play, Dad was running out of ideas.
36:58And so today, I showed him what other things we could do together with the kids to stimulate them and engage them.
37:05Everyone come around.
37:07All right.
37:07We played a memory game where I placed some odd bits from the home on a cushion and told the children that they would have to remember what was on that cushion.
37:18This is a leaf.
37:19And we're going to put this right next to the spoon.
37:21And I want you to look.
37:23No touching.
37:24Just look at what's on this cushion.
37:26Are you ready?
37:29Sunglasses.
37:33Now, do you know what's going to happen?
37:35You're going to close your eyes and put your hands over your eyes.
37:38Hands over your eyes.
37:39And Jojo is going to take two things away.
37:45And what you have to do is tell Jojo what it is that's missing.
37:49Oh, my.
37:50Oh, my.
37:51Oh, my.
37:52Put your hands over your eyes.
37:54Ready?
37:54Ready?
37:54Justin, what's missing?
37:59Um, up there.
38:01I don't know.
38:02No.
38:03Can you remember, John?
38:04Johnny, what was sitting right there?
38:05Oh, no.
38:06Dad, let's give the first clue.
38:09It had a beak.
38:11Oh, it was a duck.
38:13Cock, duck.
38:14It was the duck.
38:16Did you hear that, Jess?
38:16Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
38:18The duck was right here.
38:20Look, there's a leg there.
38:21That's right.
38:22It went there.
38:23OK, we'll put it back.
38:26What was the other thing that went missing?
38:28A lid.
38:29Yeah!
38:31Woo!
38:32Trying to find something to do was a challenge at first.
38:35And I think I got a good start on some ideas, and I'm hoping that more productive ideas will roll my way just off of these.
38:45You guys can put it all in the basket now.
38:47Yeah!
38:48I hope this encourages them to carry on.
38:51Can I have a kiss, big boy?
38:53And have a good plan.
38:54Bye-bye.
38:56I'm going now.
38:57It's been an emotional roller coaster in this household over the last couple of weeks.
39:03And just remember, it's about you guys working it together to make sure that these little ones are contented, and you guys are as parents, all right?
39:15So, take care, Ed.
39:17Take care of yourself, mate.
39:18Thank you so much.
39:19You're more than welcome.
39:20Thanks for all you've done for us.
39:22Bye.
39:25Bye.
39:26Bye.
39:27I think that the Lama family have worked very hard to build bridges.
39:32I just hope that they can walk across them together for the future.
39:37For them, the future is very bright.
39:39This is just the beginning for them.
39:46I'm already seeing my kids 100% turnaround.
39:51I haven't seen them smile and have this much fun ever.
39:54Hey, mama!
39:56The kids are happier.
39:58They have more playtime with mommy.
40:00Up!
40:01Yeah!
40:02I'm really trying to keep a cap on my yelling.
40:05Say, mommy loves you.
40:07Say, mommy loves you.
40:09Joe came in here and gave us techniques to use to improve our marriage, which will in turn improve our kids.
40:15Scrub, scrub, scrub.
40:16They are listening better already.
40:17Can she have one?
40:18They are behaving better already.
40:20Very nice.
40:20Thank you, Justin.
40:22They're loving playing with each other now.
40:24Ed and I are speaking to each other with more respect.
40:27How was your day?
40:28Real good.
40:28How was yours?
40:29Good.
40:30Things are getting better around here.
40:31Because now we have the tools to use to make things better.
40:35She's not just a nanny.
40:36She's an angel in disguise.
40:38She saved a marriage here.
40:40She saved children here.
40:42Thank you, Joe, for all you've done for us.
40:44We really appreciate it.
40:46And there's no way we can ever thank you enough.
40:51They did it again.
40:52We'll see you next time.
40:52We'll see you next time.
40:52We'll see you next time.
40:53We'll see you next time.
40:53We'll see you next time.
40:54We'll see you next time.
40:55We'll see you next time.
40:55We'll see you next time.
40:56We'll see you next time.
40:56We'll see you next time.
40:57We'll see you next time.
40:57We'll see you next time.
40:58We'll see you next time.
40:58We'll see you next time.
40:58We'll see you next time.
40:59We'll see you next time.
41:00We'll see you next time.
41:00We'll see you next time.
41:01We'll see you next time.
41:02We'll see you next time.
41:02We'll see you next time.
41:03We'll see you next time.
41:04We'll see you next time.
41:05We'll see you next time.
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