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The three oldest children are acting out and discipline in the house is non-existent! Any of you have been grown with their aunt?

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00:00Take a look and see who we've got here.
00:02Hi, we're the Schwartz family.
00:04Don't, don't do that!
00:07My name is Kathy, this is my husband Steve.
00:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:11And we have four beautiful little girls.
00:13Samantha is six, Amanda is four,
00:16Caitlin is three, and Emily just turned one the other day.
00:20Four adorable children.
00:22I'm a full-time medical biller.
00:23I'm usually out of the house by nine, home by five.
00:26I am a New York City police officer.
00:27My sister Donna usually babysits,
00:30but she does not discipline the children.
00:33I'm Donna, I watch Kathy and Steve's little girls.
00:36Caitlin, don't fight me today.
00:38They love being with my sister Donna,
00:40which is understandable because they're with her.
00:43Why don't you give Nani a hug now,
00:44because she rescued you.
00:46Tell your mother to stop being so jealous.
00:48Kiss you baby them.
00:49I don't have to discipline because I feel kids are kids.
00:51She's three, okay, how old are you?
00:53Give me the mail, give her mail, give it to her.
00:56Don't give it to her.
00:56Yes, yes, yes, because you know why kids do this?
00:59Take your milk because she's blowing bubbles.
01:01The screaming, it just gives me these gray hairs right here.
01:05What is going on here?
01:11Let's go on girls, we're going to go eat.
01:12With my sister raising them so much,
01:14sometimes I feel like she thinks she's their mother.
01:16I'm the mother, not Nani, understand?
01:18Don't listen to her.
01:20Don't tell her not to listen to me.
01:21I wish, you know, Donna and I could be on the same page
01:24when it comes to disciplining the children.
01:25They are children.
01:26It doesn't matter.
01:27Children, they need discipline.
01:28Do you listen?
01:29Yes, I do.
01:30You don't listen.
01:30I just get tired of fighting with her.
01:32You're pissing me off.
01:33I get tired of her threatening to not keep them anymore.
01:37Do you want me to get angry?
01:38No!
01:39Because I will leave and I won't come back.
01:41When I walk in the door, right away,
01:43all the girls start screaming.
01:44They don't want Donna to leave.
01:45I'm going to come back, sweetie.
01:51She's very protective of them,
01:53and I am afraid that if Joe does come,
01:54it's going to be like World War III in this house.
01:57Super Nani, if you do come, just understand,
01:59it's going to be difficult with you and I
02:01because this is, like, my territory.
02:03Super Nani, please, please come and help my family and I.
02:07We desperately need your help.
02:08You're sure right, you do need my help,
02:10but don't worry because I'm on my way.
02:15I'm on my way.
02:24Hi.
02:27Hi, how are you?
02:29Very well.
02:29Pleased to meet you.
02:30I'm Joe.
02:30I'm Cathy.
02:31Please come in.
02:32When Joe first came in,
02:33I knew right away I was going to be put to the test.
02:36This is my daughter, Samantha.
02:38Hi, Samantha.
02:39How are you?
02:39Pleased to meet you.
02:40Hi.
02:42What's your name?
02:43That man.
02:44Hi, Amanda.
02:45Pleased to meet you.
02:46You're going to shake Jojo's hand?
02:47Yes.
02:48Hi.
02:49And what's your name?
02:51Caitlin.
02:52Caitlin.
02:53Hi, Caitlin.
02:54You're going to shake Jojo's hand?
02:55Say hi.
02:56Pleased to meet you.
02:57Pleased to meet you.
02:58Yeah.
02:59And who's this little one here?
03:01Emily.
03:02Hello, Emily.
03:04Come on, we have to get ready for school, girlies.
03:06No, you can't have cookies this morning.
03:09Cathy, I know you're on the run and everything's busy busy,
03:11but I just want to say to you today, I'm going to be here to observe,
03:14just to watch you, so just Karen is normal.
03:16I'm just going to kind of squeeze to the side whilst you get ready.
03:19Will do.
03:20Come on, girlies, let's get ready.
03:21Come on.
03:21May I have French toast for you this morning?
03:23Getting ready for school.
03:25We are getting ready for school.
03:27Just rushing.
03:28We rush every morning like this, Jo, every morning.
03:33Amanda, what would you like for breakfast?
03:34Because we have to get you dressed in about two minutes.
03:36What happened?
03:37I'll get you an apple in two seconds, gorgeous.
03:39It didn't take long for me to recognize disorganization and chaos,
03:45to say the least.
03:46Please get out of my drawers.
03:47Okay, sit down, please.
03:49Sit on the table.
03:50Let's go.
03:51Come on.
03:51Let's go.
03:52Come on, come on.
03:53Girls, let's go.
03:54Come, come, come, come.
03:54Let's get ready.
03:55No.
03:55Come on.
03:56You want to go to the bus stop in your shorts?
03:57Yes.
03:58Yes.
03:58No.
03:59Caitlin.
04:01Let's go.
04:02Do they just wait for you to get dressed?
04:03Yes, they do.
04:04That's always how it's been because I'm in such a rush in the mornings.
04:07I just, sometimes it's easier for me to get them ready.
04:10It's just, it's just very chaotic.
04:13I can see.
04:14Amanda, come on, let's get dressed.
04:16Hurry up.
04:16She was rushing the children.
04:18Everything was like, quick, quick, quick.
04:19Come, come, come, come, come, come.
04:20You know, like she was hurdling up cows.
04:23Is Caitlin still in a diaper?
04:25She's still in a diaper.
04:27She's three and a half.
04:28She should be.
04:28And she's not out of diapers during the day?
04:30No.
04:31I really can't believe that Caitlin is still in diapers.
04:34She's three years old.
04:36Open.
04:36Caitlin.
04:37All right, just one more, one more.
04:39Let's go.
04:40I'm dizzy.
04:41You guys ready?
04:42Where's my keys?
04:43Caitlin, come on, don't drag behind.
04:45We made it.
04:47We made it, she says.
04:48I can't believe it.
04:49Have a good day, okay, man?
04:51Bye-bye.
04:51Bye-bye.
04:53Have a good day.
04:54So finally, mum gets the kids onto the school bus
04:57and she comes back and she has Caitlin and Emily.
05:01We're on the road.
05:03Oh.
05:04I didn't even realise.
05:06All right, no, no, no, no.
05:09Cathy's sister, Donna, was on her way over,
05:12but before she came, I had a chance to talk to Cathy
05:14about her relationship.
05:16She raised me.
05:17My mum had passed away when I was 13.
05:19So she is really, in essence, she's like my mother.
05:22When it comes to the kids,
05:24I know that she, I think, would feel that
05:26I'm taking them away from her
05:27if I get a sitter to come in.
05:29I'll tell you, like, my husband and I,
05:30we've actually talked about moving out of state
05:32and I can't.
05:33I just can't bring myself and the girls,
05:36you know, away.
05:38She's got my family.
05:39So as much as you love your sister and she...
05:43It's a love-hate relationship, put it that way.
05:45Your life.
05:45A couple times, I've heard them call my sister mommy.
05:48What are you going to do?
05:49You know, they don't have anybody else.
05:51It is very obvious that there's been some
05:53very deep-rooted issues in their relationship
05:56and sometimes it makes Cathy really emotional.
06:01I have no idea where my sister is.
06:04Oh, here she is.
06:05Hi, I'm Donna.
06:06How are you?
06:08Very well, thank you.
06:09Hi, sweetie.
06:10I met Donna.
06:11I said hello to her and Donna was pleasant.
06:15She may have said hello,
06:16but she didn't look pleased to see me there,
06:18that's for sure.
06:18You can have one cookie.
06:20She already has two cookies.
06:22You want one?
06:23Donna had not been in that house for 30 seconds
06:27before they started bickering.
06:29Let me have it.
06:30Take a cookie.
06:30Take a cookie.
06:32And don't come at me and just push me out of the way.
06:34Let's go.
06:34And then we had Donna shouting at Cathy
06:36and Cathy pushing her foot down
06:38and saying Caitlyn couldn't have a cookie.
06:41I don't want to have you.
06:43No, you don't have a cookie.
06:44Oh.
06:46And then we had two women
06:47ranting and raving at one another
06:50and a child screaming
06:52because she couldn't get another cookie.
06:54Catherine, give her one more cookie.
06:56That's it.
06:58That's it, Caitlyn.
06:59One cookie.
07:00I'm just going to put the jar away.
07:02Take one and that's it.
07:03Mum should have stuck to her guns,
07:05but it wasn't happening.
07:06In the end, Mum gave in.
07:07Don't baby hug.
07:09Screw you.
07:10On that note, bye.
07:12I'll see you later.
07:13See you when you get back.
07:14What are these two ladies thinking?
07:17They fight with one another
07:18and they're just giving total wrong messages
07:22to the children.
07:25Once Mum left for work,
07:27it was me, Donna and the girls.
07:29Well, they usually just play or go outside.
07:32She made me kind of nervous.
07:33Following me around,
07:35watching every little thing I do.
07:36Like, because she is super nanny.
07:39Play nice with Emily.
07:40Emily!
07:43Amanda.
07:44Dad!
07:46No, no, Amanda.
07:47Yeah.
07:48No, Amanda.
07:50No, no, no, no.
07:51Leave her, girls.
07:53Donna might be telling the girls what to do,
07:54but they are not listening.
07:57Donna needs to give the girls correct discipline
07:59and it's not happening here.
08:00Hey!
08:01So they fight and don't share
08:04and beat each other up
08:05and, you know, that's them.
08:07I don't know what else to tell you.
08:08She felt she needed you to come here.
08:10How do you feel about this then
08:11with me being here?
08:12When she told me I was ballistic.
08:14You know, if they're bad,
08:14she wants me to discipline them
08:16and I don't.
08:16You know, the kids,
08:17they didn't do anything to hurt anybody.
08:19No running.
08:20No running!
08:22Hey!
08:22Samantha, do you feel willing
08:25to cooperate with the fact
08:27that I'm here now?
08:28Well, you're here.
08:28What am I going to do?
08:29You're here.
08:33I don't get a hello?
08:35Can I get a kiss?
08:36I love my friend.
08:38I'm out.
08:39Can I come in and relax for a second?
08:42Can I see both of them, please?
08:43I'm out of school tomorrow.
08:45When it was time for Donna to leave,
08:46the girls got really emotional,
08:48even though they see her every day.
08:50Give me a kissy.
08:51That's it.
08:51Don't cry.
08:52All right, Nani's here.
08:53All right, goodbye.
08:54Goodbye.
08:55All right, goodbye.
08:56That's it.
08:56Let's go.
08:58Well, Nani's leaving.
09:00It's hard to break away from them.
09:02I have to know what they're doing
09:0424 hours a day,
09:05seven days a week.
09:09Oh, pizza, wow!
09:11Have no fear, Harvo is here.
09:13Have no fear, Joey's here.
09:15Oh.
09:16How are you?
09:16Hi.
09:17Nice to meet you.
09:17Nice to meet you.
09:18How are you doing?
09:18Very well, thank you.
09:19Yourself?
09:20When I first saw Joe,
09:21I figured now's the time for me
09:23to get it out in the open.
09:24I can show Joe
09:24what really goes on around here
09:27behind the scenes.
09:28I get jealous that sometimes
09:29you'll see the kids.
09:30They'll call Donna mom
09:31and they'll call Uncle Jerry dad
09:33and sometimes they'll call me Uncle Jerry.
09:35And I'm like,
09:35how do you not know I'm your father?
09:37Steve came clean.
09:38I mean, he put his cards on the table.
09:39Between mine and Donna
09:42and Catherine,
09:43you know,
09:44one coddles,
09:45one doesn't give in
09:46and one babies,
09:48you know,
09:49and I have a real tough time with that.
09:51Now, apparently,
09:52there's no discipline in the house
09:53because I hear mom says,
09:55wait till your father gets home.
09:57Well, because she likes to,
09:58she wants me to be the discipline in everyone.
10:00I don't want to be the bad person.
10:01I don't want to first come home
10:02after 13 hours
10:03and start yelling at my kids.
10:05I want to spend a little time with them
10:06before I start yelling.
10:07Let me enjoy them first
10:09and then I'll yell if I have to.
10:10After my conversation with Steve,
10:12it was very apparent
10:13that these three adults
10:14are not on the same page
10:16when it comes to raising the girls.
10:17So I'm going to call for a family meeting
10:19with all of them.
10:24I would love to sit down
10:25with all three of you
10:26and have a family meeting.
10:28So why don't we go through
10:29to the dining area?
10:30I'm just hoping that everybody has
10:32eyes and ears open
10:33and everybody's willing to accept
10:34everything that Joe was saying.
10:38Kathy and Steve,
10:39you should be very proud.
10:41Four beautiful girls.
10:44Lively girls.
10:46And the children have an auntie
10:48who is devoted completely,
10:52100%,
10:52and that doesn't get missed at all.
10:56But...
11:01There is no discipline.
11:03What are all three of you
11:05teaching your children,
11:09your nieces,
11:10when you have no consequences
11:12for behaviour
11:14that is unacceptable?
11:16I try to discipline
11:17and then I have to hear it from her.
11:19Okay?
11:20You're the parent.
11:20I understand that,
11:21but you know what?
11:23It's just...
11:24But you don't know what you're doing.
11:25It just gets overwhelming for me.
11:27Let's take the mornings.
11:29Kathy, what is going on in the mornings?
11:31It's just chaotic.
11:34Let's talk about why it's chaotic.
11:37It's just...
11:37You know what?
11:38It's my fault.
11:40Kathy, it is your fault.
11:41Everything is a panic.
11:43Rush, rush, rush.
11:44Come on, kids.
11:44Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly.
11:46Your house is disorganised.
11:48And while we're at it,
11:50why isn't Caitlin potty trained?
11:55She's almost there.
11:57How old is she?
11:58Three and a half.
11:59Three and a half.
12:00She's more than able.
12:03It's slack and it's no excuse.
12:06Let's talk about Donna.
12:08Your relationship with Kathy.
12:10Codependent.
12:12Kathy, you do rely on Donna.
12:17A hell of a lot.
12:18But, on the same respects,
12:23Donna, I think I would like to say
12:26that you're probably quite happy.
12:29Because the first thing that you always say is,
12:32these kids are my life.
12:35They are.
12:36But Donna, the girls are Kathy and Steve's children.
12:42And they have to be given the chance
12:45to be parents.
12:48Anything else is dysfunctional.
12:50Do you know why everybody's fired up
12:52and everybody's angry?
12:53Because you all love the kids to death.
12:57Now, the three of you
12:59have to work together.
13:03I'm on board.
13:05I need a change.
13:07I need everything to just change.
13:09I was absolutely horrified
13:12to hear everything that Joe had to say.
13:15But everything she said
13:16was exactly how it is in my house.
13:19Steve, are you willing to put in 100%?
13:22Absolutely.
13:22I'm gung-ho.
13:24Thank God she didn't pin it on me.
13:26She pinned it mostly on Kathy and Donna,
13:27which was good for me.
13:29So, Donna, that leaves you.
13:30Are you willing to put in 100%
13:32to be able to change this for the girls
13:33and follow through?
13:35Mm-hmm.
13:36Then I take you at your word for that.
13:37I told you I'd be in it 100%,
13:39even though I am against it 100%.
13:41For her to come in and tell me,
13:43what to say,
13:43this should be done with the kids,
13:44you do it this way?
13:46I don't think so.
13:47OK.
13:48So, let's go do some business.
13:51There's no doubt that the Schwartz family
13:53definitely need organisation.
13:56So I'm bringing in a routine
13:57to give them structure
13:58to help Mum, Dad, and Donna with the girls.
14:01Mum, between 7.30 and 8,
14:03getting breakfast ready for the girls.
14:05To have Joe come in
14:07and set up a routine for me,
14:08now it's really going to put me in focus.
14:10It's going to put me in check.
14:11And then 11 to 12.30,
14:14OK, you're rolling your eyes.
14:16Is this because of what you do, right?
14:18Well, I don't do that.
14:19I do other things, but go ahead.
14:21Because I don't need to look at no chart all day
14:23and don't tell me,
14:24feed the children lunch,
14:25give them snack, do this.
14:26I know what I have to do.
14:28So then, Samantha,
14:29you're home at 4 o'clock.
14:30Look, what I would like, OK,
14:33is for Mummy to put a healthy snack
14:36in your rucksack.
14:37So when you're on your way home on the bus,
14:39you can have your snack then, OK?
14:41They eat all day long.
14:42There's no set.
14:43Try this.
14:45It's not going to work.
14:45You're saying we can't try it?
14:46This is the best thing I've seen
14:47in this house so far.
14:48It's not going to work.
14:49I'm excited to do the routine.
14:51I'm just afraid that Donna
14:53won't abide by the schedule.
14:55I think it's nonsense.
14:57Why?
14:57Because I know what I do
14:58with the girls between 9 and 5 o'clock.
15:00And this is why they act like this.
15:01I don't need...
15:02Well, then, you know what?
15:02Why don't you get someone else then?
15:03Maybe that would help.
15:06Change for Donna is difficult.
15:09And anything new that was presented to Donna
15:11made her panic as she run.
15:14So that routine empowers you, Donna, OK?
15:19Empowers you and empowers Kathy
15:21because what it does
15:22is allow you all to look at that routine.
15:24So if Kathy comes home and she says,
15:26well, why didn't the kids have dinner?
15:28You say, routine, Kathy?
15:30I'm doing my bit.
15:32100% I'm sticking to that routine.
15:34I felt it was really important
15:36that Donna come back
15:37and address the issues
15:38in order to solve
15:40the problems this family were having.
15:42All right, we cool?
15:43Yeah, we're cool.
15:44All right, let's give each other
15:44a nice hug, man.
15:45It's family here.
15:46Come on.
15:47He knows I love you.
15:48Sometimes I know.
15:49No, I do.
15:51Well, she's just told you.
15:52She's just told she loves you.
15:53If I did, would I be here?
15:55Come on.
15:55I'd do it for you.
15:56Come on, let's go, let's go.
15:57Come on, you know that.
15:58All right, let's go back in.
16:03One thing that's missing in this house
16:05is discipline.
16:06So I'm introducing
16:07the naughty beanbag technique.
16:09OK, pack each.
16:10The girls were all excited.
16:12And I said, girls,
16:13you're not going to be excited
16:14once you hear what they're for.
16:16These beanbags are for discipline.
16:18They're for when you've behaved
16:20in a way that's unacceptable
16:22that mummy and daddy
16:24or auntie Donna's not happy with.
16:26And if you misbehave,
16:28they're going to send you
16:28onto these bags.
16:30Is it good to say on this?
16:31I guess it'll work.
16:33Oh, my God.
16:35Her beanbag chairs.
16:36She better take them
16:36right where she got them from.
16:38Those beanbags have to go.
16:40Donna won't accept the fact
16:41that we have to tame this family.
16:44Those naughty chairs
16:45have to go into play.
16:47Daddy?
16:47Later on,
16:52mum asked Amanda
16:53to put some folders away
16:54and after a warning,
16:56she refused.
16:57So mum followed through.
16:58She put her on
16:58the naughty beanbag.
17:01This is where you sit
17:03for three minutes.
17:04No!
17:05I'm in now.
17:06These girls are just
17:07not used to discipline.
17:09So I wanted to make sure
17:10that Cathy just stayed strong
17:11and stuck with it.
17:12As soon as she gets off,
17:13she's going straight back.
17:15What happened?
17:16I'm not.
17:17Then walk away.
17:19No!
17:20No!
17:23Don't talk to her.
17:26Look.
17:27He's going to start
17:28giving anything.
17:30So, start getting strong.
17:35Keep it up.
17:38Don't talk.
17:40You're in charge.
17:41After about an hour,
17:45Amanda finally conceded.
17:47Can you please say
17:48you're sorry to mummy?
17:49Sorry.
17:50You're sorry for what?
17:51What are you sorry for?
17:52Sorry.
17:53For not putting
17:53your folders away?
17:54If I would have did this
17:55years ago,
17:56I would never be
17:57in this position now.
17:58Never.
18:01Getting the girls
18:02up and ready
18:03and out the door
18:04seemed to be
18:04a real struggle
18:05for Cathy.
18:06So I wanted to give her
18:07the get up and go technique.
18:09We've got a picture
18:11of Samantha,
18:12a picture of Amanda
18:13and a picture of Caitlin.
18:16The first step
18:16of the morning routine
18:17is to prepare lunches
18:19and clothes the night before
18:21and that's why I'm
18:22introducing it
18:23to the family this evening.
18:24Every morning
18:25when we wake up,
18:26we're going to start
18:26from this end.
18:27We're going to make our bed.
18:30Each of the girls
18:30is responsible
18:31for getting dressed
18:32on their own,
18:34brushing their own hair,
18:35getting their backpacks ready
18:37and heading out the door.
18:38So we're going to
18:38put this by the stairs.
18:40Who's going to help me?
18:41OK.
18:42I'm terrified.
18:43We're always the last people
18:44at the bus stop.
18:45I didn't think
18:45it was going to work.
18:49Huh?
18:50Hello?
18:50Hi, Jo.
18:52How are you?
18:52I'm very well.
18:53Good morning.
18:54Mornings in this house
18:55are absolute mayhem.
18:56So I'm here to show Cathy
18:58that mornings
18:59don't have to be a rush.
19:00So, Mum,
19:01have we had all beds made?
19:02One bed made so far.
19:04Samantha made her bed
19:05this morning.
19:05Oh, great.
19:06We've got Samantha
19:07to get dressed.
19:08So, Samantha,
19:09clothes are on the side
19:10there, my darling.
19:11Good girl, Samantha.
19:12Let's go upstairs
19:13with the girls.
19:14Cathy and the girls
19:15had already started
19:16the morning routine
19:17and it was absolutely
19:18fantastic to see
19:19that they were making
19:20real progress.
19:21Fix this up.
19:22Hurry.
19:23Not hurry, hurry.
19:24That's old.
19:24Okay.
19:25We're not hurrying
19:25because we've got ample time.
19:26Okay.
19:27All right?
19:27Very good.
19:28Good girl.
19:28Thank you so much.
19:30Excellent.
19:30Amanda,
19:31are you going to move
19:32your one now
19:33because you've made
19:33your bed?
19:34Look.
19:34Well done.
19:36So, come on, girls.
19:37Okay, girls.
19:37Let's move on
19:38to the next task.
19:39Okay, let's get her dressed.
19:40Do you want Mama
19:40to help you?
19:41What can you do
19:41like a big girl?
19:42Look at you
19:43getting yourself dressed.
19:44Want to go,
19:44Mom, your flower?
19:45Come on, hurry.
19:46Let's go.
19:46We went through it
19:47step by step.
19:48You want to brush your hair?
19:49Can I brush your hair?
19:51Everybody knew
19:51what their morning
19:52responsibilities were.
19:54Now we're going to
19:54go have breakfast, okay?
19:55The girls did their thing.
19:57I did my thing.
19:58Mommy's very proud of you.
20:00It was a very successful
20:01technique because the
20:02children were allowed
20:03to see the progress
20:04they were making
20:05throughout the morning.
20:06Remember,
20:07just use the praise.
20:08Oh, Mommy's so proud
20:09of you guys.
20:10Give me hugs.
20:10Give me hugs.
20:11She managed to get
20:11them girls ready
20:12and out the door
20:13early by five minutes
20:15and at the bus stop first.
20:17This is nice
20:18to actually not have to.
20:20To not have to run
20:21every morning.
20:22Jo told me,
20:23enjoy your kids.
20:24I don't always have to rush.
20:26I can manage my time.
20:27Are we here first?
20:29Yay!
20:31I still think
20:32she was digesting
20:32the fact that she did this
20:34as the children
20:35were getting on the bus.
20:36Once we'd got
20:40the morning routine
20:41out of the way,
20:41the next thing
20:42I wanted to tackle
20:43was getting Caitlin
20:44out of those diapers.
20:46What exactly is happening
20:47at the moment
20:48with Caitlin's potty training?
20:49Kathy and Donna
20:50definitely need to be
20:51on the same page
20:52with potty training
20:53so that they don't
20:54give Caitlin mixed messages.
20:55I keep diapers on her
20:56during the day.
20:57She doesn't want to be
20:58in the diapers
20:59because she takes them
20:59off during the day
21:00and tells me
21:00to throw them away.
21:01Then other days
21:02she'll take
21:03and want to wear them
21:04because she doesn't know
21:05what's right.
21:05Right.
21:06What I'm hearing
21:07is inconsistency.
21:08That's why we haven't
21:09made progress
21:10with Caitlin.
21:12I started to potty train Caitlin
21:14but a lot of it
21:16was because I really
21:17didn't have the time.
21:18It was just easier
21:19to put her in a diaper.
21:20We're going to do
21:20potty training.
21:21What do we need
21:22on that checklist?
21:23Well, we do need
21:24plenty of panties.
21:25That's for sure.
21:26And we need to be realistic
21:27with the fact
21:28that there may be
21:29some accidents.
21:30The next thing
21:30we want to be able to do
21:31is to be able to give
21:33these fun little rewards
21:34for when they do
21:35go to the potty
21:37and I think they're
21:37a great fun little idea
21:38that you give them
21:39a smiley face
21:40and you tell them
21:41how pleased you are.
21:41So we've got the potty here.
21:44We'll give her the option there
21:45if she can use it or not
21:46and we'll place it
21:47into the bathroom.
21:48Now in case
21:49she decides
21:50she doesn't want
21:51to use the potty
21:52then we'll use the toilet.
21:53I don't need to be sat down
21:55and step by step
21:56this is a potty seat
21:57and this is the underwear
21:58this is the shirts
21:59this is what you do
22:00I don't need that
22:00I know what to do.
22:01What we need from both of you
22:03is to be consistent.
22:05Now we needed to tell Caitlin
22:06that she was going to move along
22:07and get out of those diapers.
22:09Are you going to put one on now?
22:11Are you going to put some panties on?
22:12Great.
22:12Okay, you choose.
22:14What panties are you going to put on now?
22:15Look.
22:16It was important for mum
22:17to teach Caitlin
22:18exactly what to do
22:20when she needed to go potty.
22:21Every time you have to go to the party
22:23you can either go on the big girl party
22:25or you can go on your very own party.
22:28Now that everybody was on the same page
22:30with potty training
22:31we just had to wait
22:32for that very special moment.
22:34And soon enough
22:35Caitlin peeps her head
22:37around that bathroom.
22:38Caitlin.
22:39You do it.
22:40Oh my word.
22:43You did potty.
22:44You did very, very good.
22:46We always wash our hands.
22:49Caitlin was very proud of herself
22:51so I just hope
22:52we don't see her in diapers anymore.
22:54Do you know why mummy gave you that sticker?
22:56Why?
22:57Because you did a wee-wee
22:59and put her on the potty.
23:01You're the big girl.
23:07Later on when Donna and I
23:09were alone with the girls
23:10Donna got really frustrated
23:12because they started acting up
23:14and they weren't listening to her.
23:15No more yelling and jumping on the bed.
23:17Samantha, why do you press my buttons every day?
23:21Samantha, stop.
23:22I can't go through this.
23:24We're watching TV.
23:26Donna, you're blaming the kids
23:28because you won't take the responsibility
23:31in disciplining them.
23:33There were many times throughout the day
23:35that I pulled Donna aside
23:37and spoke to her
23:38with regards to disciplining the children
23:41and she was very adamant
23:43about not wanting to follow through
23:44with any discipline.
23:45You shouted at them
23:46and you yelled at them
23:48and then you said to Samantha,
23:50why are you doing this to me?
23:52Do you honestly think
23:53that she's looking at you
23:54saying I'm going to wind you up,
23:56I'm not going to listen to you,
23:57I'm going to make you feel...
23:59Yes, she does.
23:59She does.
24:00She pushes my buttons.
24:04Samantha, please.
24:05Samantha, please.
24:06Samantha.
24:07Samantha.
24:09Samantha.
24:10Unbelievable.
24:10Jo just felt that maybe
24:11I wasn't going to try anything
24:13that she was going to show me,
24:15you know,
24:15and I kind of like blew her off
24:17and I did.
24:18And I felt bad I did,
24:19but, you know,
24:20she turned everything upside down on me.
24:23Samantha just listened to me.
24:23She didn't want to jump in on the beds.
24:25And can't you listen?
24:27They can listen,
24:28but in order for them to listen,
24:30you've got to be able
24:30to get their attention.
24:32So, come down.
24:33Caitlin, on the bed, please,
24:34and look at me.
24:35You can play upstairs
24:36in your bedrooms,
24:37but we want no jumping on the bed.
24:39Do you understand
24:40what Jojo's saying?
24:41We're playing house in all.
24:43OK, that's good.
24:44OK, now watch.
24:45You've...
24:46We've come into the room,
24:47you've come down to their level,
24:49you've asked them all to look at you.
24:51I've remained calm.
24:52Then ask them
24:54whether they understand it
24:55and then say,
24:56it's OK if they play hospitals
24:58or whatever they want to do,
24:59but no jumping on the bed.
25:00So that we're showing
25:01a compromise here.
25:03Donna's attitude
25:04really isn't helping
25:05this situation
25:06and she needs to change
25:07if this family are to improve
25:09and work as a team.
25:13Hey, girlies.
25:15Hey, Jo.
25:16Hiya.
25:17How are you?
25:17Mum came home from work
25:18and I felt it very relevant
25:20for us all to sit down
25:21and discuss what had happened
25:22throughout the day.
25:23Did you kick your sister?
25:24Communicate with Donna.
25:25This is not about
25:26the kids right now.
25:27Did you say anything to them?
25:28Did you say anything to them?
25:28I've told you a million times.
25:30No, well, just you have to be alone.
25:32You can have a firm voice with them.
25:34I did.
25:34She said I was yelling at them.
25:36We spoke about
25:37how you can enforce your tone
25:39just by coming down
25:39on a level as well.
25:41This is good.
25:42We both work together
25:43and then we get...
25:44We get the kids
25:45at a place where...
25:46You keep making these kids
25:48sound like they're horrible.
25:48And you know what?
25:49It's bugging me more
25:50and more each day
25:51that you're doing this.
25:53We want children who behave,
25:55have matters.
25:55They do behave.
25:56Share.
25:57Donna just won't admit
25:58that these children
25:59need discipline.
26:00She is afraid
26:01she's going to be
26:02the bad guy
26:03in this whole thing,
26:04which is absolutely
26:05not the case.
26:06This is ridiculous.
26:07I can't go through
26:08this no more.
26:09Goodbye.
26:11Kathy is desperately
26:13trying to make changes
26:14for her family,
26:15but Donna's stubbornness,
26:17it's just tearing them apart.
26:18This cannot go on.
26:20I know, it can't.
26:21So what are you
26:21going to do about it?
26:22I really don't know
26:23what to do anymore.
26:24The bottom line is
26:25I will have to take them
26:26away from her.
26:27I mean, I don't know
26:28what else to do.
26:30They're going to lose an aunt,
26:31I'm going to lose a sister.
26:32All because she's
26:33being stubborn.
26:34What's happening here
26:34is very unhealthy, okay?
26:37And if she's saying
26:38she's not looking
26:38after the kids anymore
26:39and she's throwing that
26:40as a threat,
26:41then we're under
26:42emotional blackmail again.
26:43You do what I say,
26:44you succumb to what I say,
26:46otherwise you've got
26:46no one to look after
26:47the kids.
26:54Okay, I'm going to go.
26:55I really hate to leave
26:57Kathy feeling so emotional
26:59about this situation.
27:00Keep strong, all right?
27:04Just speak from your heart.
27:06I will.
27:07Thank you again.
27:08You're welcome.
27:10I am nervous
27:11only because
27:12once Joel leaves,
27:13I don't want to see
27:14everything that we're
27:14doing to help
27:15the kids fall apart.
27:18But at this point,
27:19it really is up
27:20to Kathy and Donna
27:21to resolve their
27:22differences
27:23and sort things out.
27:27Now that I've
27:28left the shortss,
27:29let's see how
27:30they get on without me.
27:31Hey!
27:32What's the matter, man?
27:33Well, it's good
27:34to see you back
27:34on board, Donna.
27:36I just feel bad
27:37that I treated Jo
27:38the way I did
27:38and I kind of, like,
27:39pushed her away.
27:40But when I went home
27:41and I cooled down
27:42and I read her book,
27:42then I started thinking
27:43that a lot of things
27:45that Jo says
27:46can be right.
27:47Go inside.
27:49Go.
27:50Go in and go.
27:51Where's her pants?
27:53Good girl!
27:55You want a sticker?
27:56Throw that.
27:57Yes, Ruth.
27:57You get a sticker.
27:58Good girl.
27:59Love the encouragement there.
28:01Hey, girls.
28:02Caitlin!
28:02Hey, pretty girl.
28:04Caitlin, tell Mommy
28:05what you did on the party.
28:07Donna, Kathy,
28:08what a positive change.
28:10You're communicating.
28:12Good girl.
28:13Give me a kiss.
28:13Super nanny stuff works.
28:15Jo really helped.
28:15She did.
28:16I told you.
28:17She did go.
28:17Yep, it's only been once.
28:18She went in by herself.
28:19Then I was like,
28:20well, maybe some
28:21of the techniques work.
28:22You're next.
28:22Mommy's gonna teach you
28:23what Jo taught Mommy.
28:25I'm willing to try
28:26to a point, I guess.
28:27I'm willing to try.
28:31Good morning.
28:32Can you get dressed
28:33by yourself for Mommy
28:34this morning?
28:35What do you mean, no?
28:36I'm in partner.
28:37Kathy, you should try
28:37and let the girls
28:38get dressed by themselves.
28:40This morning is
28:41so not the morning
28:42I thought it was gonna be.
28:43Amanda wants this,
28:44Caitlin wants that.
28:45Sit down and stop it, okay?
28:48The baby's crying.
28:49Oh, I know.
28:50We all forgot about you.
28:52Can you go wash
28:52your face a little bit?
28:55Put it down.
28:56There's plenty of time
28:57in this schedule.
28:58What's the rush?
29:00Samantha!
29:01I'm on the verge
29:01of screaming.
29:02I feel like I'm gonna
29:03have a breakdown.
29:04Listen, this is ridiculous.
29:05What do you do?
29:06What comes next?
29:07Okay, you ate breakfast.
29:09Okay, now what?
29:10Now we have to move it over.
29:11The girls are meant
29:12to do the chart step by step.
29:13Not all at once.
29:16I need one.
29:18Share them.
29:19I need friends.
29:20This is good to see.
29:21Creative time.
29:22Share them.
29:23No.
29:24She's scary.
29:25Donna, put a stop to it.
29:27Dad, can she have
29:29some crayons, Amanda?
29:30Does anybody need
29:32chocolate?
29:33Caitlin.
29:34No, pinching.
29:37Amanda.
29:38If you do it again,
29:39you're going on the stairs.
29:40That's good,
29:41because she deserved
29:42that warning.
29:42Hey, you're sorry to sissy.
29:44No!
29:44Let's go.
29:45I'm doing this today.
29:46No.
29:46Donna, it's good to see
29:48you following through.
29:48You sit there.
29:50Sit.
29:50Amanda, sit.
29:52Sit on the stairs
29:53and don't move.
29:54Amanda.
29:55Dad!
29:56Dad!
29:56Good effort.
29:58I'm coming back
29:59and we'll get it right
30:00next time.
30:10The DVD is a great
30:12insight for the parents
30:13to see exactly
30:14where they've gone wrong
30:15so that together
30:16we can resolve those issues
30:18and move along.
30:19So let's take a look
30:20at the footage we've got here
30:21whilst I've been away.
30:24One side.
30:24I feel like I'm full.
30:26Go.
30:27Good girl!
30:28Rhoda.
30:29Here, sweetie,
30:29you get a sticker.
30:31Hey!
30:34Party trained!
30:36She is 100%.
30:40Listen, this is ridiculous.
30:41Sit down and stop it, okay?
30:43Oh, I know we all
30:45forgot about you.
30:46Samantha!
30:47Stop it!
30:48She's just got to get it together.
30:50She wasn't together.
30:50It is a little tough
30:51in the mornings.
30:53You know,
30:53they all run
30:54in different directions
30:54and to get them all
30:56to just eat breakfast
30:57together
30:58or just to get dressed together.
31:00It's tough.
31:01Relax
31:01and have faith in the technique
31:03and remember
31:03that you've left ample time
31:05to allow the children
31:06to achieve
31:07these small goals.
31:09Gatling!
31:10No!
31:11Pinching!
31:13If you do it again,
31:14you're going on the stairs.
31:15No!
31:16Let's go.
31:17I'm not doing this today.
31:18No!
31:19No, you're sitting on the stairs.
31:20Sit.
31:21Amanda, sit.
31:22Get on the stairs
31:23and don't move.
31:25Donna,
31:26I saw discipline.
31:27I know,
31:27but it didn't work.
31:28Didn't work.
31:29Hear me
31:30and accept
31:31what I'm going to say to you.
31:33Donna,
31:33I went away
31:34and I came back
31:35to a lady
31:37who implemented discipline.
31:40You gave a warning
31:42with the correct tone of voice.
31:45Now all you need to do
31:46is to be able to come down
31:47on her level
31:48and give her eye contact.
31:50That means that you've been
31:51thinking a lot
31:53and for me,
31:54that is major progress.
31:56It means we're moving forward
31:57in the right direction.
31:59Come here, give me a hug.
32:00I am very, very proud of you.
32:03Jo was proud of me
32:03with the DVD session.
32:05I wanted to show
32:05that I would try.
32:06I wanted to show Jo
32:08that I was listening to her
32:09and not just blowing her off.
32:12Steve, Kathy,
32:13any comments on this?
32:14It makes me, you know,
32:16feel good to know
32:17that all three of us
32:18are doing what's really best
32:20for the girls.
32:21So, I'm going to be here
32:23for the rest of the day
32:24working with all three of you.
32:26All right, let's go.
32:27Good morning.
32:32Good morning, Jo.
32:33So, get up and go?
32:35Yes, we're doing that.
32:35Two of the girls are up.
32:37The next morning,
32:38I arrived bright and early
32:39to help Kathy
32:41with the get up and go technique.
32:43Come on, Amanda,
32:44show Mummy how well
32:44you make your bedroom.
32:45Remember the get up and go?
32:47OK, get Amanda to help you.
32:48Encourage her.
32:49The kids got up
32:50and made their beds
32:51and Mum was very encouraging.
32:53Kate, now come.
32:54Hurry, we're going
32:55to move your picture.
32:56Because you made your bed.
32:58OK, great, move your picture.
32:59Well done, Amanda.
33:01The kids got themselves dressed.
33:03This is great, guys.
33:04OK, want to go have breakfast now?
33:06Then off we went to breakfast
33:07and it was a very smooth transition.
33:09Give them a choice of two things.
33:11We have French toast
33:13or we have cereal?
33:14Cereal.
33:14OK.
33:15So, Mum,
33:15did we prepare the night before?
33:17Have we got lunch ready?
33:18Yes, we did.
33:18Lunches are ready.
33:20Once Kathy calmed down
33:21and relaxed,
33:23the kids noticed
33:24and they followed her.
33:25Isn't this nice, guys?
33:26We get to sit down
33:27and have a nice breakfast
33:28with one another.
33:29You're done?
33:31Can you put that
33:31in the sink for Mummy, please?
33:34Marvellous, Amanda.
33:35Great.
33:36On your get up and go technique,
33:38you know what?
33:38You can move.
33:39Did everybody move
33:40the pictures?
33:43Let's see.
33:43Samantha's one step ahead.
33:46This is really fantastic to see.
33:48We've got a morning
33:49running very smoothly.
33:51Mummy's doing absolutely marvellous
33:53in moving the children along.
33:55Everybody did the chart.
33:56So, we're glad.
33:58You guys should be so close.
33:59Well done, all of you.
34:01We normally leave at 8.35,
34:03OK,
34:04and it's 8 o'clock,
34:05which means we're early
34:06by 35 minutes.
34:08This is unbelievable.
34:10Fantastic.
34:11And so, there was room
34:12for the children
34:13to sit down
34:15at the large dining table
34:16and colour.
34:17Look at you spending time
34:18colouring now
34:18because you did so well
34:20in the morning.
34:20Give yourselves a clap.
34:21Yay.
34:22The morning routine now
34:23is actually giving me
34:24more time to bond
34:25with my girls,
34:27and that is something
34:28that I don't ever
34:29want to lose.
34:31In the afternoon,
34:32I was with the girls
34:32and everything was OK,
34:34but then Caitlin and Amanda
34:36started to fight over a toy.
34:38And it causes
34:39absolute mayhem.
34:41Come there, Amanda.
34:43My bus!
34:44Both let go of the bus.
34:46Let go of the bus.
34:47I'm going to my...
34:48The man says it's her bus.
34:50She's being very rude
34:51and I'm holding the bus.
34:52If you do not let go
34:53of the bus,
34:53I will be placing you
34:54into the naughty bean bag.
34:57She refuses to listen to me.
34:59Off you go.
35:00Shortly,
35:01she was taken
35:02to the naughty bean bag.
35:05No, you do not click.
35:07No, you stay there.
35:08So, can I get you
35:09not to communicate
35:10and just to continue
35:11from where I was?
35:12I thought it was much needed
35:14to give Mum, Dad, and Donna
35:16a chance to implement
35:17the naughty bean bag
35:18when Amanda was kicking off.
35:25Steve?
35:25What's Amanda?
35:26You want to take over?
35:27No communication?
35:28No.
35:29Just follow through.
35:32Take her by the hand.
35:33No!
35:34No!
35:35I didn't mind going
35:36back and forth
35:36until she gave me
35:37a kick in the privates.
35:39Oh!
35:40I went down for the count.
35:41That was pretty bad.
35:42Where's Dad?
35:43Hi, Dad.
35:46Just kicked me like
35:47where it hurts.
35:48You do not
35:49kick your father.
35:52You know, I have to learn
35:55how to turn her around
35:55the other way next time.
35:57Are you all right?
35:57Mm-hmm.
35:58Yeah.
35:58Stop it!
35:59Come on, I want to help you.
36:01All right, protect yourself.
36:03Let's go.
36:04Stop!
36:05Amanda gave in.
36:07She sat on the bag.
36:08I want you to say sorry
36:10to Nanny Jo
36:11for grabbing the boxes.
36:13For grabbing the boxes.
36:14Now give hugs and kisses.
36:15I heard you're sorry,
36:16now accept it.
36:17It's time for me to go.
36:22Emotionally,
36:23it's been one tough
36:24rollercoaster ride.
36:26When the three of you
36:27work together,
36:29you can change
36:30your home here.
36:31Thank you very much
36:32for coming to our house
36:33and helping us out
36:34and everything.
36:34And I want to thank Donna
36:35for really sticking through
36:38with this and trying
36:39at least to bring us
36:40a little bit closer
36:41as a family.
36:42Jo came in,
36:42and the biggest thing
36:44that I love her for
36:45she's just,
36:50she taught us
36:51how to be a family again.
36:52And I will be forever
36:53grateful to her.
36:55Bye, Jo.
36:56Take care.
36:58Hug, hugs.
37:00Oh, where are you?
37:02Keep talking.
37:03Thank you very much
37:03for everything.
37:04Take care, you're welcome.
37:05I'm leaving this family
37:06and if their eyes
37:08were shut,
37:09I can guarantee you
37:11they are wide open now.
37:13Good girl,
37:24you're a big helper today.
37:25You're doing a great job.
37:26Jo taught me that
37:27I can talk to my kids
37:29and they'll listen.
37:30Mommy's proud of you,
37:31right?
37:32I'm leaving her bottom.
37:34They're taking care
37:35of one another,
37:35which is something
37:35that I have never
37:37seen in my house.
37:39All those home,
37:40I feel like my home life
37:41has definitely improved.
37:42It's made me feel good
37:43on the inside.
37:44Yay!
37:45Come on, Manny.
37:46Go, Manny.
37:47Steve and I are in
37:47control of our house.
37:49I think our kids respect us
37:50more than they ever did.
37:52Yay, you like the water.
37:54Now they love to spend
37:55time with Mommy and Daddy.
37:58Two, three.
38:00Daddy, you don't go.
38:02Yay!
38:03You come around, you're gone.
38:04In the mornings,
38:05I'm not running around anymore.
38:07The girls aren't running
38:08around anymore.
38:08And we're able to appreciate
38:10the extra time
38:12that we have
38:12with one another now.
38:13So it's good.
38:14It's all good.
38:15Get your scooter.
38:16Hurry, hurry, hurry.
38:17I was probably
38:17one of the toughest
38:18persons that Joe
38:19had to deal with.
38:21Wow, what is this?
38:22A baby?
38:22Joe can make a believer
38:23out of me.
38:24She can do it to anyone.
38:25I think Donna
38:26is starting to listen
38:27and learn that
38:28you can discipline
38:29and the kids
38:30will still respect you
38:31and love you.
38:33Can you throw them far?
38:34Woo!
38:34For the Schwartz family,
38:36it is a brand new day.
38:39No looking back,
38:40no regrets,
38:41full speed ahead,
38:43and we're the family
38:43that we should be.
38:48Hey!
38:50Hey, there's the thumb sucker.
38:52What's the matter, dummy?
38:53Give me the Vulcan pinch.
38:55The Vulcan pinch.
38:57And then a noogie sandwich.
38:58See, it's not taken right here.
38:59Oh, my God.
39:07All right, please.
39:08All right?
39:12In the trash you go.
39:15In the trash.
39:15In the trash.
39:16You guys want to come down?
39:17We'd walk the bushes.
39:18Come on.
39:19We'd walk the bushes
39:20with your head.
39:21Give me a piggyback ride.
39:23Come on.
39:23Give me a son of your shoulders.
39:24ä

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