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While Deirdre tries to help Tristin because of his autism, Kayla and Marlana demand her attention. They follow her around and she shoos them away. Can Jo get Tristin to talk and leave Deirdre to spend time with her girls or are they too much at their wits end?
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00:00Hi, we're the Faseni family.
00:02My name's Trey, it's my wife Deirdre.
00:04And we have twin daughters that are four years old,
00:07named Kayla and Marlena, and a son, Tristan, who's three
00:13and has been diagnosed with autism.
00:16First time we found out Tristan was autistic,
00:18Deirdre caught me on the phone, absolutely hysterical.
00:21It was very hard for us to come to grips with Tristan
00:24is autistic.
00:26He's a very difficult child to raise.
00:29We can swing later when we come outside.
00:31He lacks the communication to tell us how he feels.
00:34So whenever he's screaming, I'm at a loss of what to do.
00:38You're not going to die because you can't go outside.
00:42He's hyper, likes to jump on the bed,
00:45spin around in circles, wants to go outside all the time.
00:48Every now and then we'll forget to lock the van door,
00:51and we'll catch him in the van.
00:53Tristan, what are you doing in here?
00:55We're just scared to death that he could get locked in there.
00:57I don't think you're supposed to be hanging out in the van, Mr. Man.
01:00The biggest issues with Kayla and Marlena are they follow me a lot during the day.
01:05What?
01:06Quit following me around.
01:08They have a trampoline, swing set.
01:10They have every toy imaginable.
01:12Instead of following me around, they could be doing some of those things
01:15while I'm doing things that I need to catch up on.
01:17Tristan, just stay down from there.
01:19Both of you out.
01:20I feel like I'm just struggling, trying to keep my head above water.
01:26Mommy's tired.
01:28We want help because we're dealing with twin girls who demand our attention,
01:32and Tristan, who needs our attention.
01:35We're playing 52-card pick-up every day.
01:37Supernanny, we're desperate.
01:40We need your help.
01:41Please come help us.
01:42If she doesn't come, I don't know what I'll do.
01:44You guys need some good help.
01:46I'm on my way.
01:55Oh, my goodness.
01:56Hi.
01:57Oh, my gosh.
01:58Look at this.
01:59Nice to meet you.
02:00Nice to meet you.
02:01Nice to meet you, too.
02:02How are you?
02:03Joe walks into my house.
02:04I really couldn't believe that she was here.
02:05It was kind of hard to sink in that I'm actually going to get help,
02:09and my life is going to change for the better.
02:11Oh, thank you.
02:12This is Tristan.
02:13Hello, Tristan.
02:14Can you say hi?
02:15Hi.
02:16Pleased to meet you.
02:17I'm Jojo.
02:18Come here, Marlena.
02:19Come here.
02:20Marlena, come here, Miss Shy.
02:21How are you?
02:22How are you?
02:23We were really excited to see Joe, and I was almost speechless.
02:26I was just, oh, thank goodness the help's here.
02:28I'm here to observe.
02:29Just relax.
02:30Do as you normally would.
02:32Okay.
02:33And I'm just going to watch and ask some questions.
02:34Okay.
02:35Soon after I arrived, Trace said he had to leave for work.
02:38Bye, girls.
02:39Bye-bye.
02:40Thanks.
02:41Let's go clean your playroom.
02:43Mom walked in and said to the children, right, it's time to tidy up.
02:47It was mid-morning.
02:48Clean up the playroom.
02:49Don't dawdle.
02:50Just give it to me.
02:52Girls, clean up the toys that you know where they go.
02:55Come on.
02:56Why would you clean a playroom if you're going to be playing in it all day?
03:00It's the girls' playtime, so it seems like they should start to have some fun.
03:05I've got to go check on Tristan, so I want you to continue cleaning.
03:08No.
03:09Come on.
03:10Come on.
03:11Sit.
03:12No.
03:13The girls were busy cleaning, so it gave me a good chance to see Mom interacting with Tristan.
03:19Sit.
03:20Sit.
03:21I could see that Deirdre was frustrated trying to understand Tristan.
03:25If you eat the rest of your hot dog, you can get down.
03:27All done?
03:28I realized that there was no real stimulation in the home, and Tristan was just in his own
03:38world.
03:39I saw Tristan sneak up to the door and try to get out.
03:44And at one stage, he did.
03:47Did?
03:48I had no clue.
03:49Is Tristan in there with you?
03:50So I had to run after him.
03:52Tristan, no, no.
03:53You can play in a little bit, okay?
03:58You can play in a little bit.
04:00How often does he do laundry or something like that?
04:03That's usually when he'll try to escape.
04:05I'm looking this door.
04:08You get really scared.
04:09I mean, he went out that front door.
04:11I mean, he could have gone anywhere.
04:12Yeah, I know.
04:13When he goes missing, that it takes us a good 15 minutes to find him.
04:16And during that time, my heart's just pounding.
04:18You know, I don't know what else to do, but, you know, maybe lock him up or tie him up.
04:22I don't know.
04:23He finds ways.
04:24He finds his way out.
04:25I really cannot believe what I just heard.
04:27This boy has autism.
04:29He has no sense of danger.
04:34You want to go outside?
04:35No.
04:36Well, what do you want to do?
04:40Go play.
04:41Go play somewhere.
04:42Go jump on the trampoline.
04:43Hello.
04:44Hey.
04:45The girls were following mom around the house, and she paid them no interest.
04:51Girls, I'm on the phone.
04:53I'm sorry.
04:54I'm dealing with my children.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Great.
04:57She kept shooing them away.
05:00Girls, I'm on the phone.
05:02Can you wait?
05:03I'm telling them just to go off and play.
05:04Just go off and play.
05:05Go play.
05:06Come on.
05:07Come on.
05:08Come on.
05:09Come on.
05:10Come on.
05:11Come on.
05:12Come on.
05:13Come on.
05:14Come on.
05:15Come on.
05:16Come on.
05:17Come on.
05:18Come on.
05:19Come on.
05:20Come on.
05:21I'm really starved for attention.
05:22Mum doesn't interact with the girls.
05:23They need it to be stimulated and to have that attention and that focus.
05:30Mum goes on the internet throughout the day.
05:33Well, hurray for mum because she's got three children that need her and she needs to realize
05:40that.
05:41Coming up on Supernanny.
05:42When it comes to their kids.
05:44Keep an eye on Tristan, okay?
05:45Okay.
05:46Mum is unplugged.
05:47What attention are these children getting from mum?
05:50And dad gets a wake up call.
05:52Tristan.
05:53He needs help.
05:55I have no idea what to do.
05:57I have no clue.
05:58When Supernanny returns.
06:00But first, a tip from Supernanny.
06:02Hey, parents.
06:03If the phone rings, feel free to tell them you're calling back.
06:07Set up your children with an activity first so that you can have an enjoyable conversation
06:12and your children will not fight for your attention.
06:25So, Tristan's out here.
06:27The girls are inside.
06:28Who's looking after him?
06:30I think mum's got a vacuum.
06:31This is crazy.
06:32Deirdre should be out here with Tristan.
06:33I mean, that is a main road there.
06:34Keep an eye on Tristan, okay?
06:35Okay.
06:36There's no interaction between the children and their mum.
06:37I appreciate that she's got things to do, but what attention are these children getting
06:41from mum?
06:42Marlena, how old is your brother?
06:43Three.
06:44Three.
06:45And how old are you?
06:46Four.
06:47Four.
06:48Marlena, how old are you?
06:49Four.
06:50Four.
06:51Marlena, how old are you?
06:52Four.
06:53Four.
06:54Four.
06:55Four.
06:56Marlena.
06:57Marlena, how old are you?
06:58Four.
06:59Four.
07:00How old are you?
07:01How old is your brother?
07:02Three.
07:03Three.
07:04And how old are you?
07:05Four.
07:06Four.
07:07Marlena had been asked by Deirdre to look after Tristan.
07:13Four-year-old child looking after her younger brother, an autistic child.
07:20Absolutely absurd.
07:21Hello.
07:22Hi.
07:23Hey.
07:24How's your day?
07:25Great.
07:26How's it going here?
07:27Very well.
07:28Hey, girls, how are you?
07:29What's up?
07:30When Dad got home, it was the first time I'd seen so much energy, and the girls were really
07:43excited to see him.
07:44Hey, T.
07:45But unfortunately, that energy didn't last for long.
07:48You guys, get out of the kitchen, okay?
07:50Tristan, go sit down, please.
07:53The children are sitting down eating their dinner, but the setup completely isolates
08:00Tristan from the rest of the children and Mom and Dad, and they don't get them involved
08:04in conversation.
08:05Can I sit down there with them?
08:07Why?
08:08Oh, lookit!
08:09Tristan!
08:10Tristan, no!
08:11I got it.
08:12I wasn't surprised that Tristan got up.
08:13Nobody said a word to him.
08:14Dinner is a perfect time to have conversation with all the kids.
08:15That wasn't happening.
08:16No!
08:17Mom and Dad just kept plopping Tristan back into his seat.
08:18Tristan!
08:19He wasn't happy about that.
08:20Whatever.
08:21It's clear to me that Tristan being autistic needs special attention.
08:22Mom and Dad need to learn how to deal with this instead of pretending it's not happening.
08:36Deirdre and Trey are missing the mark when it comes to their kids.
08:37I need to sit down and discuss this with them.
08:46When I first meet a family, I go in and I watch the dynamics between the parents and the
09:02children.
09:03I then approach both parents and we discuss the issues that I feel need to be addressed.
09:10But why don't we all take a seat and have a family meeting?
09:14Just really nervous about what she has to say.
09:17I know that she is going to critique my parenting abilities.
09:20So I don't know what Jo's going to say.
09:22I really want to know what she's been thinking this whole time.
09:25You're a couple in a loving relationship.
09:28You're a blessed to have three beautiful children.
09:36But there's no pulse in this house.
09:41Could you elaborate on pulse?
09:43As in nothing alive.
09:45As in seeing two parents.
09:48It's not happy.
09:49And it's sad.
09:51You're 27, Deirdre.
09:53Not 87.
09:56Where's your inner child?
09:57Don't you remember?
09:59The things that used to make you laugh and giggle.
10:03I've got to ask you.
10:04Why don't you allow yourself to be happy as a mother?
10:09I believe I'm a failure.
10:11I believe that nothing I do is good enough.
10:16So I've stopped trying.
10:19Your kids need you.
10:23Because you're their mother.
10:27Let's talk about Tristan.
10:30I mean, we're all in agreement here.
10:31He's autistic, right?
10:33Right.
10:34Then why do you guys try so hard to forget that every day?
10:37Denial.
10:39Denial?
10:40You're in denial?
10:41No, I accept it.
10:43But I don't know how to handle it.
10:45I mean, I barely know how to handle my girls, as you can tell.
10:50How am I supposed to handle a special needs child?
10:53Let's talk about outside.
10:55The pair of you allow your children out into that front yard by themselves.
11:02What about Tristan?
11:03He doesn't know boundaries and danger.
11:06Where is the responsibility?
11:10It's absolutely madness.
11:12I couldn't walk into the house.
11:14I was worried that if I came in, something might happen.
11:18And that's me.
11:20Why are you guys not thinking that way?
11:22There's no excuse.
11:23There isn't.
11:25Your girls come up to you.
11:27They get this sign all the time.
11:30Go away.
11:30Go and play.
11:31Go and do something.
11:32Now that's rejection.
11:33And that's serious.
11:37I saw at least 20 times where Tristan actually came over to you.
11:43And you could have took the opportunity to do so much with him.
11:48And it did not happen.
11:50He needs help.
11:54I have no idea what to do.
11:56I have no clue.
11:57And the fact that you said there were opportunities today where we could have done something about it breaks my heart.
12:02And I'm ashamed that I didn't even see one opportunity to help him.
12:07You guys need to become positive and embrace what you do have.
12:13Right.
12:14And have the wisdom to recognize the things that you cannot change and the things that you can change.
12:19So are you guys ready to change?
12:23Yes.
12:23Yes.
12:23Definitely.
12:24I do recognize that there is a problem now and I'm ready to move forward.
12:29She put her finger right on it.
12:31I'm really looking forward to seeing what Joe can do to help us change our attitudes.
12:36Let's get to it, man.
12:38Coming up on Super Nanny, the family gets some answers for Tristan's autism.
12:43Stop the swing and say swing.
12:45Okay.
12:46When Joe brings in an expert, but will Tristan respond when Super Nanny returns?
12:56Hello.
12:57Hi.
12:58Hi.
12:58How are you?
12:59How are you?
12:59I'm well.
13:00How are you?
13:01I'm good.
13:01I've brought Dr. Lynn Cagle over to meet you guys because she's had over 25 years experience with autistic children.
13:11I'm Dr. Lynn Cagle and I work at the University of California in Santa Barbara and I'm the clinical director of the Autism Research and Training Center.
13:19And at the center we do research and treatment for children with autism.
13:23What I would love is for you to give Lynn the opportunity to be able to work with you, Tristan, and to be able to develop and progress.
13:32With the right kind of intervention, all children with autism can improve.
13:36This is our little blessed, Tristan.
13:38Hi.
13:38Tristan, hi.
13:39I think it's difficult for any parent to get the diagnosis of autism.
13:43It's considered a severe disability and it's hard.
13:48As you know, communication is a big one.
13:51He's not using any words yet.
13:53He doesn't get the idea that he needs to use words to communicate.
13:56The second area that children with autism show is the repetitive behavior.
14:01So you've seen him, it's actually restricted interest.
14:04He's not playing with all the activities like a typical child would.
14:07And then the third area is difficulty with socialization.
14:11So although he adores you guys, he's not playing with the sisters the way that you would expect for a child his age.
14:18And so he looks to me like he's got the classic symptoms of autism.
14:22And so the good news about all this is that there are great techniques, they're well-researched, and if you use these techniques, he will get better.
14:30Great.
14:31Great.
14:31Great.
14:31Once Dr. Cagle got acquainted with the Vicente family, it was time for me to put up the routine.
14:38And between 8.40 and 10.30, you'll have one-on-one time with Tristan.
14:43And that's where we're going to incorporate a lot of techniques where you'll work with Dr. Cagle here.
14:50So from 12.30 to 4 o'clock, you've got this wonderful time here, this gap in the afternoon.
14:57So we've got music and trampoline, the swings, art, being creative.
15:03Oh, my gosh.
15:04How am I going to fit all of this in one day?
15:07Because it's a lot.
15:08I mean, wow.
15:09Well, 6.30 to 7.30, I'd like to see you guys all outside as a family, because it is important that you spend that quality time with your children.
15:18Joe's schedule was a little intimidating at first, but I'm willing to work on it, and I'm willing to try it.
15:24And maybe if we need to, Joe can tweak it here and there.
15:27Any questions?
15:29Well, there was more than one routine up on that wall today.
15:32There was also Tristan's routine.
15:33Which actually follows along perfectly with Joe's routine.
15:37Dr. Cagle made a special routine for Tristan that involved pictures.
15:43At this point, his visual is probably better than his verbal.
15:46Right.
15:47So explaining the things will be more difficult to him, but what we want him to be able to do is see each activity.
15:52And when he's done, he can take it off and put it in a little envelope so he can see what's left.
15:58Dr. Cagle's schedule will help Tristan realize certain things do happen in an order throughout the day, and it's not just chaos.
16:04And as much structure as we can bring to his world, it will definitely help.
16:09Let's get cracking.
16:11One thing that could make a massive change for this family is to develop Tristan's speech.
16:17So Dr. Cagle introduced the communication technique.
16:20Today we started with three steps for working on communication.
16:26The first one was finding something he likes, and something that he likes enough that he's going to try to talk for.
16:32Tristan loves the swing, so we use that to provide opportunities for him to say swing.
16:37Just push him a little bit and get him involved in the activity, and then stop the swing and say swing, okay?
16:43Whoa!
16:45This is the highlight of his day.
16:47Yeah.
16:47So let's stop him and now try to prompt it.
16:50Swing.
16:53The second step is prompting him to talk, and the third is rewarding him for any attempt or any good word.
17:02Swing.
17:03Swing.
17:06Tristan, swing.
17:09You have to say the word ten times before he'll even try to say it or attempt to say it, and he'll be upset,
17:16which that's going to be really hard for me as a mother because he's my baby.
17:20I want him not to swing too much without saying it so he doesn't think...
17:23Oh, I'm sorry.
17:24I'm sorry.
17:25Oh, gosh.
17:26Come here.
17:28Let's go in the house.
17:29Let's go.
17:29Let's go.
17:30We have to keep giving him opportunities and keep working at it.
17:34Tristan.
17:36Cookie.
17:38Cookie.
17:41Look.
17:42It's going to be like, you're betraying me, you know?
17:45The important thing is that if he does get upset and is trying other things like crying, that they don't give it to him.
17:51Cookie.
17:53Oh, no.
17:54This is the hardest part.
17:56The first few words are the hardest.
17:57He's pretty upset.
18:04Look at me.
18:06You want to do everything to keep your kids happy, but, you know, the only thing is, is he won't learn to talk that way.
18:11He's got to...
18:12Yeah.
18:12We've got to teach him the words to say and that this doesn't work anymore.
18:16Right.
18:16We don't want him to be 21 doing that.
18:18No, definitely not.
18:20Deirdre did a great job.
18:21I felt like it was very difficult for her to see him cry.
18:25But he has to learn that if he cries, it's not a good way to communicate.
18:31It's important that he learns that he's got to try to say the word in order to get the item that he wants.
18:50That's the first word I think that he said on command.
19:04So it was such an exciting moment.
19:06Tickle.
19:07I think he's laughing and saying it because he knows what he's going to get.
19:20I started crying.
19:22I was like, oh, my goodness.
19:26My son has it in him.
19:29And if he has it in him, I am all for bringing out his potential.
19:32Got a little frustrated at the beginning, but this, you know, now he's going to get it slowly, you know, fully maturely.
19:37Deirdre put in a lot of effort.
19:40And if she continues to put in this hard work in no time, Tristan's going to be speaking.
19:44Coming up on Super Nanny.
19:50Tristan, can you come here?
19:52Mom and dad are put to the test.
19:55And Joe gets the kids to play along.
19:57You should wait down.
19:58Oh, my God.
20:00This is amazing.
20:02When Super Nanny returns.
20:06Yay, Tristan.
20:09It's about to fall.
20:10Oh, my God.
20:14What we're going to do is a technique called play and walk away.
20:19OK.
20:19Deirdre gets frustrated that the girls follow her around everywhere.
20:23Your children follow you because they want your attention.
20:25They want to play with mummy.
20:27You can't expect them to leave you alone for one minute if you don't give them your time.
20:33So today I introduce the play and walk away technique.
20:36The first step is to bring them something that they will be interested in.
20:42OK.
20:43So that it's got their attention.
20:45The second is for you to then get involved with the children.
20:48The third step is to then walk away and allow the children to continue without you.
20:54And then the fourth is to come back.
20:56See everything's OK.
20:57Give some praise.
20:59Well done.
20:59This would help her to be able to engage with the children so that she can then go off
21:06and do the chores she needs to do.
21:08Look what we've got here.
21:09Do you like puzzles?
21:10Yeah.
21:11You think you'll be able to do it?
21:12Yeah.
21:13Mom, teach them how to put it together.
21:15Set it down on the floor here.
21:16Oh, wow.
21:17Kayla, you've already got it.
21:18Does that look right?
21:20Right here?
21:21Yes.
21:22There you go.
21:23All right.
21:24Well, when Joe first introduced the play and walk technique, I was just amazed.
21:28I'm like, oh, my God, I could really do something like that and walk away.
21:33Help each other do the puzzle.
21:35Help each other do the puzzle.
21:37You must share, OK?
21:38It made sense.
21:40I had no clue that I was supposed to do that sort of thing.
21:43And, you know, I really feel like it's going to work.
21:45Oh, my goodness.
21:47Look what you did.
21:49Well done.
21:49You found the pieces to give off.
21:51My goodness.
21:52I thought that Deirdre did very well for a first-time attempt.
21:56Now that Mom understands how to keep the girls occupied, it means that she'll have more time to focus on Tristan.
22:05Want to play a game?
22:07Yeah.
22:07It was a real concern of mine that Tristan just walks out of the house without Mom knowing about it.
22:13So to stop Tristan from wandering off Dr. Cagle is bringing in a new technique.
22:18This one is called the name game.
22:20And what we're going to do is we're going to put Tristan down.
22:23We call Tristan's name.
22:25We're going to help him to run to the person that called him.
22:27All right.
22:28And when he gets there, he gets a treat.
22:30We're all going to cheer.
22:31And you can even help him get to Dad when Dad calls him.
22:33We're trying to teach him to come to his name.
22:35Tristan, can you come here?
22:36Tristan!
22:37Uh-oh.
22:38Run!
22:38Come here.
22:39Yay!
22:40Yay!
22:40I really wanted the twins to get involved with some of the therapy.
22:47Tristan, come here.
22:49Tristan!
22:51We had the girls work with him and kind of help Mom.
22:54Come here.
22:54Come here.
22:56Yay!
22:56Yay!
22:59He actually started coming when we were calling him.
23:02And Dr. Cagle kept the girls involved, which I thought was really great.
23:06Did she get a little trip too?
23:07You did help him.
23:08You helped him too, didn't you?
23:10Kayla, would you like one?
23:11Yeah.
23:12Okay.
23:12There are some things that are so simple that you would never even think of to use that we
23:17could have been doing.
23:18Tristan!
23:19I was like, oh my gosh.
23:20It clicked in my head.
23:21I'm like, well, that's a great idea.
23:23Yay!
23:24Yay, Tristan!
23:25I helped him.
23:26Yay, you did it!
23:29To see Tristan come closer into the family and feel more involved, Dr. Cagle suggested
23:35that the family learn how to include Tristan in the daily activities.
23:39You want to help set the table?
23:40No, let's go help set the table.
23:41When we went to set the table, I was really thinking that we're going to pick up these
23:46spoons and he's just going to bang them together and nothing's going to come of it.
23:53Sit down.
23:54There you go.
23:55And that's great.
23:56That's wonderful.
23:56All right, let's set the other one, Dad.
23:58You can see how he's learning so much by helping like this.
24:01All right.
24:01Yay!
24:02Nice job, Dad.
24:03Setting the table with Tristan was the most moving moment I've had with my son.
24:09He was actually interacting with me and doing the same things I was.
24:13Nice job.
24:15What else do we need?
24:15This is wonderful.
24:16He's actually going along with it.
24:18He's not just lost in his own world.
24:20He's actually in my world with me.
24:22Oh.
24:24He's getting to learn how to do things.
24:26He's getting involved.
24:27Right.
24:27Right.
24:27And he's not spacing out.
24:29Right.
24:29It was so important that Trey saw how successful Tristan could be.
24:33Today was a great day.
24:34He helped him set the table.
24:36He imitated his dad.
24:37And Dad was happy.
24:39And that's going to happen more often.
24:40Oh.
24:42So awesome.
24:43Yes.
24:43I felt so helpless.
24:46Like there was nothing I could do.
24:48So to get some help and to actually hear that he's making words and to bring him into mainstream again.
24:53I think we've got to get you up there.
24:55I don't even know what to say.
24:57It was absolutely amazing to see Trey and Tristan make so much progress.
25:03So the next thing I wanted to do was to teach the family how to play and have fun together.
25:08So Dr. Cagle and I introduced the inclusion technique.
25:13That's nice.
25:14Shall we dance?
25:16Dance, Tristan.
25:16Dance, Tristan.
25:23Ah.
25:25Watch her dance, too.
25:28He amazed me.
25:29He loved it.
25:30It's always hard to tell what these kids with autism are capable of.
25:33That's why it's so important that people don't give up on them.
25:36And that they learn the strategies to work with them.
25:39Yeah, Tristan was playing.
25:43Two.
25:45Three.
25:46Three.
25:46Yeah.
25:47Yeah.
25:50Oh, my God.
25:51This is amazing.
25:53This is amazing.
25:54That was gobsmarked.
25:56And this is exactly what I was saying when we don't know what to do.
26:00Now we know what to do.
26:01I hope someday Tristan can talk to me.
26:04He's going to need some work with socializing with other kids.
26:08So this is a great way to start doing the same activities.
26:11And, you know, we can even have them later trading toys and things like that.
26:14And I hope that the response that Trey saw has given him the strength and motivation to continue this every day.
26:23Because what happened in that playroom was priceless.
26:26It's time for Dr. Cagle and I to leave.
26:33Enjoy, okay, you two.
26:36But it will be interesting to see how the Vicente family gets on without us.
26:40We will see you when we get back.
26:42And remember those gaps in the routine where you're productive.
26:45Right.
26:46So that you can enjoy all three children together.
26:49Right.
26:49And remember, keep Tristan engaged all day long.
26:52And keep providing opportunities for him to use his communication.
26:55Great.
26:56It's going to be hard because I have to incorporate Tristan in my everyday activities and keep the girls busy.
27:02That's going to wear me down.
27:04Take care.
27:05Thanks, guys.
27:06Bye.
27:06Bye.
27:07Bye.
27:13Coming up on SuperNan.
27:16Come here.
27:18When Joe and Dr. Cagle leave.
27:20I need some space right now, Marlena.
27:22Mom's patience wears thin.
27:24When Super Nanny returns.
27:30The Vicentes are on their own now.
27:32Let's see how they get on.
27:34Tickle.
27:37Fantastic.
27:38Mom's trying to get Tristan to communicate with her.
27:41Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:43You said tickle, I heard you.
27:46Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:48Good going, Mom.
27:49Getting Tristan to respond.
27:51He wants to play the ring around the rosie.
27:54Wah, wah.
27:55He said ring around the rosie.
27:58Yay.
27:59Let's do it.
28:00Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of rosie.
28:04It's good, Deirdre.
28:05It looks like the kids are having fun.
28:07Tickle, can we finish this off?
28:10Tickle, if you keep interrupting, I'm just going to give up on this whole music thing.
28:15Mom, don't get frustrated.
28:17Stick with it.
28:19Look.
28:19Say choo-choo.
28:21What?
28:22Choo-choo.
28:22Oh, no, take it away.
28:25So you can't share it?
28:27I'm sharing it.
28:30I'm sharing it.
28:32Mom, you're supposed to play before you walk away.
28:37Where are you going?
28:41I need some space right now, Marlena.
28:47Because I'm trying my best to get y'all involved in things that might be fun for all of you at the same time.
28:56But you don't want to do it.
28:58Kayla doesn't want to do it.
29:00You're fighting over toys, things like that.
29:03I can't handle that.
29:05She's a four-year-old little girl.
29:06She does not deserve that.
29:12You ready?
29:14Yep.
29:14Call them.
29:15Tristan!
29:17Come here, Tristan!
29:19All right.
29:19The name game.
29:21And the girls are helping, too.
29:22Come here!
29:23I helped them!
29:25Yay!
29:26I helped them!
29:27I helped them!
29:29Me, too!
29:30Girls, can you just wait three seconds?
29:34Can I have another piece?
29:36That's what I was saying.
29:37I thought she was going to show us how to deal with them while we were working with him.
29:41And she didn't say anything at all about that.
29:43All she did was bitch about us.
29:45Clearly, we've got a few techniques to revisit.
29:47I'm on my way back.
29:48Today, I sat down with the Fasente family and showed them the DVD footage.
29:57Whilst Lynn and I have been away, we have been watching you both, and we do have some footage
30:02that we would love to show the pair of you.
30:05It enables the parents to see exactly where they've gone wrong, so we can amend that.
30:10And today, both Deidre and Trey needed a big wake-up call.
30:18Tickle!
30:19Tickle!
30:20Tickle!
30:21Yay!
30:24Tickle!
30:26Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
30:28I love that.
30:29That was perfect.
30:30That's excellent.
30:31That's what we want.
30:32Look at how happy he was.
30:34Tell me how you felt.
30:35Were you having fun?
30:36Yes, I was having fun.
30:37It was fun for me just watching him smile and have a huge smile on his face.
30:43You recognize that when you put so much in, how much you're rewarded back.
30:49And that's why you have to keep doing it.
30:52You can't share it.
30:55I'm sharing it.
30:57I'm sharing it.
30:58Girls, when you guys fight, it makes me frustrated.
31:02I need some space right now, Marlena.
31:04Because your frustration and anger led you into that bedroom where you needed just to cool down.
31:13But the impact on that was Marlena feeling like you didn't want to be close to her.
31:17She can sense your frustration.
31:20And what can she do about it?
31:23She can't.
31:23That conversation should have been had with an adult and not with your daughter.
31:30Let's move on to the next one here.
31:32Come here, Tristan.
31:34Yay!
31:36I helped you.
31:37I helped you.
31:38Can you just wait three seconds?
31:41I thought she was going to show us how to deal with them while we were working with him.
31:44And she didn't say anything at all about that.
31:46All she did was bitch about us.
31:48Okay, Trey.
31:51So, here in that clip, we can see your frustration.
31:54This is about you learning how to deal with the girls and Tristan and everybody together.
31:59All the attention shifted to them.
32:01And now I've lost the focus with Tristan on why he was getting the reward.
32:06That's where my frustration was coming from.
32:08Girls did great.
32:09They helped you.
32:10Yeah.
32:10They helped you get them over there.
32:11It was wonderful.
32:12It was such a positive piece of footage.
32:15And yet, the only people that didn't think it was, was you two.
32:18I should open myself up to, you know, whatever they're saying rather than shutting them down.
32:23And I've been so used to doing that.
32:26But you're aware.
32:27And that's a start.
32:29So, eyes, eyes very much need to be open.
32:32If you're seeing generosity and kindness from your children, reward.
32:38I'm ashamed of myself for even not seeing that, you know.
32:43Putting blinders on, I guess, to their good behavior and just focusing on the bad.
32:47You must do all that you can to build their self-esteem and confidence.
32:51I'm really ashamed of myself for not noticing how wonderful my children are.
32:55Now you'll notice.
32:55No.
32:56But now you notice.
32:58You can do so much now to make it better for all of you so that you're all happier as a family.
33:04After watching the DVD, I want to go up and just hug my girls.
33:08Tell them how much I love them and how sorry I am.
33:12And how much I'm going to try to be the parent that they deserve now.
33:18We're going to be here for the whole day, helping you guys implement, reinforce, and tweak everything.
33:25Ready for some more work?
33:26Sure.
33:27Okay.
33:27Coming up on Super Nanny.
33:32Joe and Dr. Cagle set the table for progress.
33:36Norm.
33:37I'm Marcia.
33:38Yum yum.
33:39And the family digs in.
33:42Yum yum.
33:43Yum yum.
33:44Very good.
33:45When Super Nanny returns.
33:48But first, a tip from Super Nanny.
33:50Parents, don't feel pressured to have to go to the shops and buy loads of toys.
33:54Use the materials that you have at home.
33:57Lollipop sticks, old plastic cups, maybe even shells from the beach, so that you can, with
34:03your children, be creative and make your own little treasures.
34:06I was really disappointed not to see the play-and-walk-away technique being used, because it will keep
34:21the girls occupied and allow mum to spend more time with Tristan.
34:25So the first thing I did was to introduce some arts and crafts for the girls.
34:29Okay, here's your glue.
34:31Put a little bit on the back of whatever bead.
34:34Very good.
34:37Oops, fell down.
34:38I want to take you out of the picture.
34:40So, mum, that means this would be as if you were at home.
34:44Okay.
34:44During the day with all of them, all right?
34:47How about me?
34:48Blue, please.
34:49Mum, we'll go straight into the laundry room.
34:51Okay.
34:52And we'll leave the girls.
34:53Fantastic.
34:54Soon enough, the girls were having so much fun.
34:56They didn't even notice that mum had stepped away to do some laundry with Tristan.
35:01Yay!
35:03You did it!
35:04Jo's play-and-walk technique is a simple thing.
35:09I mean, I just felt like, oh, my God, it works.
35:12That's so great.
35:12I want you to go past the girls, give them praise about how they're behaving well together.
35:17Okay.
35:18Wow, girls are playing really good together.
35:21I'm very proud of you.
35:22I think Deirdre finally understood today that if she gives her attention to the girls first,
35:30then they'll be occupied.
35:31She'll be able to leave them and walk away and get on with her chores.
35:35And that's how the play-and-walk-away technique works.
35:37Tonight, I wanted to show Deirdre and Trey how they could have a peaceful family dinner
35:44now, but still work on Tristan's speech.
35:47You going to help me?
35:48Let's go ahead and follow through with that and see if we can get him to...
35:51Ignore.
35:55I'm working on that.
35:56There you go.
35:57That's better.
35:58Very good.
35:59With mealtime, I'd like to work with Deirdre and Trey on getting him to say yum-yum
36:04and show Deirdre how successful he can be at saying those words during dinner.
36:09Yum-yum?
36:11He's really hungry.
36:13Yum-yum?
36:16I don't think he's going to do it, Trey.
36:20I have that mother bear instinct.
36:22I want to feed my child, and I don't care what it takes to do it.
36:25No, we're going to make him say it, Deirdre.
36:27I could see that Deirdre was getting really frustrated.
36:30She wanted to give in to Tristan's temper tantrums.
36:34If she'd have done that, she'd have only been going backwards.
36:37Never be scared of the tantrum because you know what?
36:39It would be the same as if Marlena and Caleb over there had a tantrum.
36:45Yum-yum?
36:46It's not that I'm scared of the tantrum.
36:47It's that I know he's hungry, and it's a little bit past dinner time.
36:51Just remember that even though you know that he's hungry,
36:54just that little bit, that little step further,
36:57is what makes such a big difference.
36:59Just think.
37:00No, I want to feed him.
37:00Pretty soon, he's going to be saying it every time.
37:03Finally, Deirdre and Tristan calmed down,
37:06and a few minutes later, they had success.
37:08Yum-yum?
37:10Yum-yum, very good.
37:12When Tristan turned around and just said yum-yum,
37:16I was just like, oh my God, it works.
37:19Let me set it right on cue.
37:20At the same time, Kayla and Marlena were behaving beautifully.
37:23I didn't want them to be forgotten,
37:25so it was important that they got praise too.
37:28Let's not forget the girls as well, all right?
37:29They're behaving beautifully.
37:30Isn't it good?
37:31Yeah, it was wonderful.
37:32You are such a good girl.
37:33I'm a good girl.
37:33Listen to how good you are.
37:34Good girl, Kayla.
37:36You're eating like big girls.
37:38Every single bite tonight, he said a word for.
37:41Yeah.
37:42Every single bite.
37:43So, Mum, I think the girls have done well.
37:45If you want to let them excuse themselves.
37:49Would you like to be excused?
37:51Dinner tonight was absolutely fantastic.
37:54Tristan was engaged.
37:55Mum and Dad were giving the girls lots of praise.
37:58And for once, there was this beautiful family dinner happening before my eyes priceless.
38:04I think they're doing great.
38:13It's going to be tough to say goodbye.
38:16I feel very confident that Deirdre and Trey have learned a lot from this process.
38:22From the bottom of my heart, thank you for rescuing my family.
38:25Because without you, I don't know where we would have gone.
38:27I feel that educating Deirdre and Trey has allowed them to become more confident parents.
38:35Bye, sweetie.
38:38Bye, Tristan.
38:41Bye, darling.
38:44Bye.
38:46Bye.
38:46Bye.
38:47Bye.
38:48Keep working together.
38:49Don't give up.
38:50Bye.
38:50Bye.
38:50Bye.
38:52Wow.
38:53Cool.
38:57Since Joe and Dr. Cagle have been gone, we are all much more appreciative of life in
39:17general.
39:17And we had been taking it for granted for a long time.
39:20Take a break.
39:21All right.
39:22You take a break.
39:22Daddy will jump.
39:23For the first time in my life, I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and be the mom that my
39:29kids deserve and just have fun with them and start living my life rather than what Joe
39:34said.
39:35I'm 27, not 87.
39:38Three.
39:39Yeah.
39:40When I look at Tristan now, I see a hopeful future.
39:44He's going to be all that he can be, all because we worked with him.
39:50Give him a kiss.
39:50I've seen a real huge change in Tristan.
39:54He tries to communicate with us a lot more.
39:57And I think it's because he's finally coming to understand that we understand him.
40:01What Joe and Dr. Cagle have shown me means my kids will have a better future.
40:07They are going to have a better mommy and daddy.
40:09Deirdre and I now realize that our family is number one and our kids are our utmost priority
40:15in life.
40:16Thank you for giving me the hope for me and my family to have a normal, functioning, well-adjusted
40:25household that will continue to grow for generations.
40:30Thank you, Joe Joe.
40:31Thank you, Dr. Cagle.
40:33Thank you, Dr. Cagle.
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