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Here is another full episode of Supernanny to celebrate Christmas in style! The girls have little rules or discipline around the house and they won't even respect their live-in grandmother!
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00:00I can't wait to see what's in store for me this week. Let's take a look.
00:06Hi, we're the Shragi family.
00:08I'm Kyle.
00:09I'm Christy.
00:10And we have three daughters. Ellie, who is 10.
00:13Hi!
00:15Emma, who is 6.
00:18And Kara, who is 4.
00:22I work for a sales office in Nashville, Tennessee.
00:25I am a stay-at-home mom.
00:28They're just wild. They don't listen.
00:32You get down. You know better.
00:34No, I'm just... Stop it.
00:36Our children have gotten to the point where they control Christy.
00:41Yeah!
00:42No!
00:45Well, these kids can just obviously do what they want to do.
00:48I mean, you know, there's no discipline in this house, is there?
00:51The entire wall system in our upstairs has an assortment of wonderful, beautiful crayons and markers and pencil marks.
01:01It's lack of respect.
01:03There is no way I would allow this. Are you kidding me? Look at the graffiti on the walls.
01:08Kara got the passy.
01:10Kara is 4 years old and she still has a passy.
01:14My purple passy!
01:16Oh, this is a joke. That passy's got to go.
01:21She has an addiction.
01:24Are you ready for bed?
01:25When night time comes and it's time for bed, they will not go upstairs and go sleep in their beds.
01:32Is anybody else tired?
01:34Children go to bed when they want to go to bed or when Christy is ready to go to bed, we will force one or two of them in there.
01:43It has been eight years since we've been in the same bed.
01:46Not going early to sleep.
01:48They don't even sleep together, Mom and Dad. Look.
01:51You, go in there.
01:53Whee!
01:55There is no way that this family can be getting a proper night's sleep. This has got to change.
02:01It can't go on like this any longer. I mean, I can't go on like this any longer. I just feel like we have to fix it right now.
02:12Super nanny, come on, we need your help.
02:14We need your help.
02:15Can you put your foot on it, driver, please? We better get there quick.
02:30Hello.
02:31Hi.
02:32Pleased to meet you. I'm Joe.
02:33I'm Christy.
02:34Hi.
02:35When Joe knocked on the door, it was only the girls and I at home. Kyle was still at work. And I was really quite nervous.
02:43The mum was very shy when I first met her, but she did introduce me to her daughters.
02:48Hello.
02:49Hello.
02:51This is Cara. She's four.
02:53This is Cara. Hi, Cara.
02:55And is this your sister?
02:56Hi. Pleased to meet you. I'm Joe.
02:58She asked me if I'd like to look around the house and I was curious to do so.
03:02Oh, great. I see the kids did the interior design.
03:05Yes, they did.
03:06And I saw, well, let's face it, graffiti.
03:16What have we got here? Oh.
03:17That's Ellie's name, but this is not her room.
03:20There was lots of colourful artwork. It had just been scribbled and it was on the carpets as well.
03:27So they've done it. Do they have permission to do it? I've got to ask.
03:30They don't have permission. They do it when I'm not looking.
03:33Do you reinforce any form of discipline at all with the girls?
03:36Well, yeah, but they still do it.
03:39So this lady had clearly allowed her children to do this to the walls of their bedroom without consent.
03:46After seeing all the artwork, I was introduced to Meemaw.
03:49Is your space respected?
03:51Uh, sometimes and sometimes not.
03:54Meemaw is Christy's mother and she lives with them.
03:58So this is like your little annex area. This is your, this is your little space here.
04:04I'm very grateful that I have the opportunity to be that close to my grandchildren, but sometimes you can be a little too close.
04:12Meemaw doesn't have any privacy. The kids just cross those boundaries and go into her space.
04:19Go in and find grandma's room.
04:21I think Meemaw would like the kids to respect her privacy, to knock on the door before they go in.
04:28No, no, no. You don't go in here and just mess up my stuff.
04:33They will even lay down on the ground and kick at the door if Meemaw doesn't let them in.
04:37Someone missing a passe.
04:46Whose is this?
04:47Me.
04:48This belongs to you?
04:49Kara's main issue is probably the pacifier.
04:53Her whole mouth is starting to look funny because of it. Her teeth are sticking way out.
04:57Huh.
04:58Are you too big for a passe?
04:59How many of these do you have?
05:00A lot.
05:01She has a green one, a blue one, a red and yellow one.
05:06Uh-huh.
05:07Two blue and red ones.
05:08Hey, I think I get it.
05:09Or have you ever made attempts to dispose of the pacifier?
05:13With the other two, when we took it away, they stopped crying like after one night they were fine.
05:17Right.
05:18And she didn't stop.
05:19Not the bottom.
05:20She just kept on and on and on.
05:21Yeah.
05:22It's my fault.
05:23I weakened to give it back to her so we could get some sleep.
05:27Right.
05:28Mum's right.
05:29Four years old and using a pacifier is way too old so it looks like we'll have to put a stop to that.
05:35It shows mum unable to complete any task and to follow through.
05:40Yes, she does.
05:41Hello, boy.
05:42Right there.
05:43I've just gotten really good at just kind of getting up every day and living and not feeling
05:52anything and then the same thing happening the next day.
05:55I think I have been detached.
05:59To see mum reading while the kids were outside, bored and restless, was sad.
06:09It was very obvious that mum was stuck in a bad rut.
06:14What do you kind of do around this time?
06:16I usually just pick up after them or do laundry or...
06:22She's unsure, unconfident, unenthusiastic about motherhood.
06:28A little bit vague.
06:32Kind of not really there.
06:35Mum's very detached and it made me want to sit down and talk to her about it.
06:40Come and sit down with me.
06:41And see if the cause wasn't the sleep deprivation that she had mentioned in submission.
06:46So what has been the effect of lack of sleep?
06:51It's exhausted.
06:52When it comes down to being like the wife and the mother and the...
06:57Anything that requires an organizational fit into a little mold thing, I'm not good.
07:03And it just makes life really hard for me.
07:06It's just like I'm constantly treading water or something.
07:10That's the way I feel.
07:12I don't always have a fear of disappointing people.
07:16Because you want people to like you.
07:19Yes.
07:21What other things make you fearful?
07:23Like heights make me a bit queasy.
07:25Yeah, I have that one.
07:26You have that one? That makes me feel a bit queasy.
07:29Fear has become a comfort for Christy.
07:32It's a false security.
07:34It's stopped her from moving forward and empowering herself to really make some really good changes.
07:47Hey, girls.
07:48Hi.
07:49Hello.
07:50Hello.
07:51Nice to meet you, Jo.
07:52I'm Kyle. Nice to meet you.
07:53Hi, Kyle.
07:54Once Dad came home, they all had dinner and then the kids started to get ready for bedtime,
07:59which was interesting to say the least.
08:02Okay, come on.
08:03Pajama time.
08:04Pajamas on.
08:05So, pajamas on is literally the beginning of bedtime.
08:09Is that correct?
08:10Yes, that's correct.
08:11All right.
08:12Ellie, go get your pajamas.
08:13I have to lay down between Ellie and Emma to get them to go to sleep.
08:19Are you going to sleep?
08:20Am I saying goodnight to you now?
08:22Okay, well, goodnight then.
08:24Goodnight.
08:25Goodnight.
08:26Goodnight.
08:27I'll tell you what, this is a first.
08:28I've never had to tuck in a family that I was visiting on my observation day.
08:33That was a first for everything.
08:35Goodnight.
08:36I mean, I've never been into a household where I've switched the lights out on a parent tucked
08:40in cosy with her daughters.
08:43I found that absolutely bizarre.
08:46So, no, no evening together.
08:50No.
08:51With the children being in the bed, my wife and I don't get any time, couples time, not only just to talk, but just to sleep together, to be with one another.
09:03It's amazing we have three children.
09:05I don't know how it happened, but it did.
09:08I've got to ask you this question.
09:09I have to ask.
09:10When was the last time you slept in your own bed?
09:12It's probably been about seven to eight years.
09:14Seven to eight years?
09:16Years.
09:17Yeah.
09:18That's just madness to me.
09:20Absolutely insane.
09:21How did you have children?
09:23Did you meet on the way to the bathroom?
09:25Funny you should say that.
09:28I sit out on the couch with the four-year-old Kara and watch a movie until she falls asleep or we both fall asleep.
09:36And then anywhere from 11 o'clock to two in the morning, I move the 10-year-old Ellie upstairs into a bed.
09:45Move the four-year-old Kara into Christy's bed.
09:50And I go upstairs and sleep in a separate bed.
09:53So, believe it or not, this is where Dad will end up tonight.
09:58I mean, how crazy is that?
10:01Seriously, it's like musical beds.
10:03Dad hasn't slept in his own bed properly for eight years.
10:08I'm surprised they're still together, to be honest with you.
10:11It was embarrassing with her looking right in your eyes in unbelief that I have to go into a bed without my wife by myself and roll over and go to sleep.
10:22Tomorrow morning, need a meeting.
10:24OK.
10:25Stuff that needs to be addressed and spoken about, OK?
10:27OK.
10:28Great, goodnight.
10:29Hey, go upstairs, I'll see myself out.
10:31OK.
10:32Goodnight.
10:33Really, the lack of respect for the house, with regards to the children graffitiing all over the walls.
10:49What's even worse than that, because they wouldn't even consider doing that at somebody else's house.
10:54It's just here.
10:55They know.
10:56They just don't respect their home.
10:57But let's talk about something wider than that as well.
11:00If there's no discipline in the house, then you're not putting in place rules, boundaries and consequence.
11:07So how are you teaching fundamentally those values that you want to instill?
11:12We know.
11:13Correct.
11:14Then how are you doing your job as a parent?
11:16We're not.
11:17A carer with a passy at her age has gone beyond the use of why we would use passies.
11:28And it's got to go.
11:29She's not a baby.
11:31Oh, I know it has to go.
11:34But it means that you've got to find the strength to recognise and an understanding of why it has to go.
11:41Because allowing her to become more mature and to be the age that she is leaves the fear of you possibly not getting what you get from her emotionally and physically.
11:54Because you need that because it's absent in your relationship.
12:00Correct?
12:03Bedtimes are always interesting.
12:05I'll tell you what though.
12:06It's the first time I've ever had to shut the light down and say goodnight to a parent on my first night of observing a family.
12:11I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
12:13That's crazy.
12:14I've got to ask.
12:15You know, what are you thinking?
12:17I'm thinking we're just too tired to fight.
12:22So it's easier to just let them go where they want and then adapt around them.
12:28The fact that you have both not had a good night's sleep in, well I can't say days, let's say years, has manifested itself into so much negativity.
12:45And sleep deprivation will take a toll on you physically and then it will break you down mentally and then it will have you go, stop.
12:53Already there.
12:54Christy, there's no fun in the house.
12:58Where's the fun?
12:59The lethargicness.
13:01Not wanting to be enthusiastic about parenthood.
13:05This is all really about you.
13:08So how do you encourage and be a positive role model as a woman for three females in your house?
13:16Not doing a real good job at all.
13:20Fear's got you good.
13:22It's got you right there.
13:23Sold.
13:24So between the three of us, we are going to make change.
13:29Give me a hand.
13:32Yeah?
13:33Yeah.
13:34We in?
13:35Mm-hmm.
13:36We in?
13:37Yes.
13:38Alright, let's do this because we haven't got time to waste here.
13:39We need to change things drastically.
13:41Okay.
13:42For my first day of teaching, I wanted to knock this family completely out of their comfort zone and start off with a bang.
13:52Hi.
13:53Hi.
13:54So I addressed as many of their issues as I could.
13:57I started off by setting up a really strict routine for this family to follow.
14:01It will allow you to parent successfully every day and ultimately feel in control.
14:08I need to learn how to organize and I need to learn how to make things better for me.
14:14And this routine will be good for the whole family.
14:17Alright, so I'm really looking forward to starting with this routine.
14:21I followed that up by having Memo make up signs for her door.
14:25These are my new door signs.
14:28So that her space could be respected.
14:30What does that say?
14:31Now.
14:32Now.
14:33Which means what?
14:34You can come in.
14:35Then you can come in.
14:37But if I am doing things that I want to be by myself, then I say.
14:42Later.
14:43Later.
14:44And for the grand finale, I wanted to challenge Mom's fear of heights.
14:49I'm very scared of heights.
14:51Because I knew that if she could get over that, then the fear of disbelief in her children wouldn't be so bad after all.
14:57I thought, oh no.
14:59I'm gonna have to jump off that thing.
15:01I was just feeling like I'm scared of heights and I don't want to do this.
15:05She could have turned around and said to me, well, what about you then?
15:08So I wanted to show her that I was willing to grow as well and face my own fears of heights.
15:13So are you ready?
15:14Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be.
15:17One.
15:18Two.
15:19Three.
15:20Go.
15:21Joe wanted me to know that I could conquer the fear of my life and parenting.
15:39The zipline showed me that I can do it.
15:42Yes.
15:43Christy did it and she was really pleased with herself that she came down from that tower.
15:48So now it shouldn't be so bad for her having the courage to discipline her children.
15:51Right?
15:52You did good too.
15:54After Mom's blood was pumping from coming down from that zipline, I could see that she was very proud of herself.
15:59So now it's time to start establishing some house rules.
16:02And I'm going to do something really unique here because what I'm going to do is give the parents one set of house rules and Grandma another.
16:08No rules, no boundaries in this house, therefore no control.
16:13So now what we're going to do is to establish house rules.
16:17We're also going to establish rules for Meemaw's space.
16:20We all sat down at the table and wrote out a list of house rules.
16:24No hurting each other.
16:25Okay.
16:26Respect.
16:27I think it's very helpful because if the kids act up, you can go straight to that rules board and say this is what you're doing wrong and this is why you're getting in trouble.
16:36So your Meemaw's rules are an extension of the house rules.
16:41So there will be things here that you're looking to say yes.
16:44I certainly want those in my space too.
16:47Have a respect for my apartment.
16:51That's it.
16:52Sing it, Meemaw.
16:53Exactly.
16:54I think the rules will work very well.
16:57No, I call it fighting.
16:59Great.
17:00You put it there.
17:01That's what you put it.
17:02You write it down.
17:03Meemaw will have her rules to go in her apartment so that she's very much a part of the family and the third adult and the kids will respect her rules too.
17:10Right, so I'll get you to pull the kids in and let's go through the house rules.
17:14Alright.
17:15After we set up the rules, we had the kids come in so the parents could explain to them absolutely clearly what was going to change.
17:22Sleep and stay in your own bed.
17:25And as from tomorrow, we will be doing that.
17:27Okay.
17:28Okay, that's sleep and stay in the bed.
17:30Any opportunity I get to have mum really explain to the kids that she expects certain behaviour from them brings her one step closer to showing these kids she's their mother first.
17:43Listen and do as you are told.
17:47We'll explain what we want you to do and then you do it.
17:52Okay, so we'll go through Meemaw's rules.
17:55Respect privacy and don't bother my things.
18:02Meemaw was spot on.
18:03She explained very clearly her rules and what she expected.
18:07She did a great job.
18:08Okay, so let's put the rules up.
18:11Now we've established the rules, it's important to bring in discipline.
18:15So if these kids misbehave, they'll know exactly what to expect.
18:19If these rules are broken, they're going to be consequences.
18:22Okay, you're going to end up doing time outs.
18:27So this is how it works.
18:29You give the kids a warning, you will make a very conscious effort of coming down to their level.
18:34Low tone voice, because you're not happy.
18:37You're exercising your authority, but only verbally.
18:41If they choose to carry on with that behaviour, then what I want you to do is to pick a spot and send them there.
18:50They'll stay there one minute per year of their age.
18:54You'll explain why and then you'll receive an apology for their behaviour.
19:00After explaining discipline to Mum, she was able to apply the technique.
19:05Can you help me clean up the table?
19:07No, you just want to play in the soap.
19:12While Mum expected Kara to clean up after lunch, she tried to escape into Meemaw's house.
19:17All she needs to do is get the fork and the spoon.
19:20No, no, no, no, no.
19:25Come on.
19:26Are they ready?
19:27Get up.
19:28She's got to go to the step.
19:29Okay.
19:30I'm putting you on the step because you are not listening to me.
19:37So you're going to stay on here for four minutes and I'm going to set the timer.
19:41And I would remove her passy as well, because that's her passy.
19:44No passy when you're on the step.
19:45Nothing.
19:46Mum did fine putting Kara on the naughty step, but she can't be afraid to speak authoritative, otherwise it's not going to work.
19:54This is Kara saying, I don't need to listen to you.
19:57Who's the parent?
19:58Who's in charge?
19:59And who needs to show Kara?
20:01If she doesn't make this distinction between when she's being serious and when she's having fun, then how is Kara to know any different?
20:09It's just really no way for Mum to show that she doesn't want that behavior and she needs it to stop right now.
20:17Did she leave again?
20:19I know it!
20:20No.
20:21I think I had to put Kara on the naughty spot about 40 times.
20:24So every time she comes back up here, what do you think she's going to do?
20:29Hide.
20:30Exactly.
20:31Mum just wasn't showing Kara that she meant business.
20:34So I decided to show her exactly how it should be done.
20:37Okay, you're not carrying her down because she's a big girl and that exhausts you because you have to carry her.
20:42You're taking her by the hand and you're bringing her down because you're not messing around.
20:47This is serious.
20:49Okay, and she's misbehaving.
20:51And so I placed Kara in a naughty corner so she couldn't keep running up them steps.
20:56Okay, set the alarm.
20:58And she'll do as she's told.
21:00Kara finally stayed in that spot for her four minutes and now she definitely doesn't want to go back.
21:05So it definitely worked.
21:07Hey, are you sorry?
21:09Okay, give me a hug.
21:12Kiss.
21:18Next day it was all about tackling Kara's PASI issue.
21:22I believe that children shouldn't be using a PASI past the age of two and I know that most dentists would agree with me.
21:28This is what we're going to do.
21:30We are going to deal with these PASIs once and for all.
21:33In the past, our failed attempts with Kara and the PASI were not really Kara's fault.
21:39They were, I believe, Kristi not wanting Kara to grow up.
21:42So we are going to have a PASI hunt throughout the house and we are going to put all the PASIs into this jar.
21:49And today you are going to give up the PASI because you don't need it anymore.
21:55You're a big girl.
21:56Let's see how many we can get each.
21:58I'm going to leave this in here and we'll put them in there when we find them.
22:01Ready?
22:02I'm looking first.
22:03I know I'm off.
22:04It's not really looking.
22:05Where's the green one?
22:06I got one.
22:07Go, go.
22:08Woo!
22:09Okay, Mimo's looking.
22:10There you go.
22:11Thanks.
22:12Go, go, go.
22:14Check another cat out here.
22:17I got two.
22:18There might be one in the car.
22:20Oh, here, look.
22:21It's a blue one.
22:22Yay!
22:24The thing is, is that parents get stuck in a rut and they give up too early.
22:28But if only they would look to dealing with this issue with a new approach,
22:32then they would resolve this situation.
22:34And I think that was the case with Kara's pacifier.
22:37So what we're going to do is we're going to put these in the trash can.
22:39We're going to throw them away.
22:41Putting them all in the jar and having Kara throw away the pacifiers was really neat.
22:46Over here, Ellie.
22:48There she goes.
22:50Woo!
22:53I mean, I wanted them to go, so I was happy about that.
22:56It's fun to have no PASIs.
22:59Give me a big...
23:01Now you're a big girl.
23:03She threw the PASIs away and she brought it up a couple of times and then she moved on.
23:08And, you know, sometimes that's just how it is with kids.
23:13Resolving the situation with Kara and the PASI shows that if these parents choose not to sit back and accept the status quo, then things will change.
23:21And I wanted to use this momentum to stop these girls from drawing on those walls.
23:26Joe came up with a really neat idea.
23:29She had built three little frames and in the frame there were big pieces of office paper.
23:35As you will see, each pad tears off.
23:40And then just replace it.
23:41Now that I'd briefed Mom and Dad about how the drawing pads would work, it was time for them to explain it to the kids.
23:46Mom and Dad, do you want to explain what we've got?
23:48This is Ellie's pad of paper.
23:52That's Emma's pad of paper.
23:54And that last one is Kara's pad of paper.
23:56That's right.
23:57But guess what it's really for?
23:59See all that stuff on the wall?
24:02Well, this is to keep you girls from doing that.
24:07Okay?
24:08And we don't want to see any more writing on the walls, alright?
24:11Where's the box of crayons?
24:12Oh, don't get it!
24:14Oh, there's crayons!
24:16Right!
24:17Now with the wall murals, nobody will be writing on the wall anymore.
24:21And a little eyeball with little eyelashes and a big smiley.
24:26The wall mural was a great success.
24:28However, I still need to tackle this family's biggest issue, and that's bedtime.
24:33And now Kara doesn't have a pacifier to soothe her.
24:37Will it be drama?
24:39So, tonight, there's a new bedtime routine.
24:42And the bedtime routine is going to be about you girls feeling very safe and securing your own bedrooms.
24:52Where do I begin with bedtime?
24:54It's just insane, really.
24:56It's created such sleep deprivation that it's destructive to the whole family.
25:00In a couple of minutes, Kara is going to go and get washed, and she's going to have stories read to her.
25:07You girls are going to go and take a shower or a bath.
25:10Giving the girls a bedtime routine where it's staggered, so they all go to bed at different times,
25:14which allows the parents to wind them down and to read stories to them.
25:18Just allows the whole process of bedtime to happen much smoother than what it was before.
25:24Aladdin and Abu gasp as they saw all the gold and jewels in the cavern.
25:28Can you lay down?
25:30No, I'm going to sleep later.
25:33No.
25:34She's not sleeping.
25:37Sorry?
25:38She says she's going to sleep later.
25:40Oh, she did, did she?
25:41Mm-hmm.
25:42This is what you are going to do, okay?
25:44The stay in bed technique, okay?
25:46If she comes out the first time, you say to her,
25:49it's bedtime, darling.
25:50Tuck her in and come out.
25:51The second time, you say it's just bedtime.
25:54The third time, you say nothing.
25:56Good night, Cara.
26:01Then Mum placed Cara into bed and she came out straight away.
26:06And then it really was tantrums and tiaras.
26:10She didn't want to be going to bed on her own.
26:14Mama!
26:16Mama!
26:25It's bedtime.
26:31She continued to cry and Mum sat on the sofa.
26:34Her heart was just really feeling emotionally what Cara was going through.
26:39Tell me.
26:40Tell yourself.
26:41Why are we doing this?
26:42Why are we doing this?
26:46Because it's...
26:48Well, it has to be done.
26:50Don't give me the answers that you've memorised from listening to me.
26:53Really think about why we're doing this.
26:56I needed Mum's attention for her to focus on why it is important
27:00that these kids get to sleep and that she gets a good night's sleep as well.
27:04It's just not easy.
27:05No, it's not.
27:06But no, it's only change.
27:08No, it's not because she's going,
27:10Oh, you're so mean.
27:11You're a mean mummy.
27:12You don't love me.
27:13You're abandoning me.
27:15That's not that cry.
27:16I was feeling very, very sad.
27:18I could never have done that without Jo there.
27:21With Cara already down, Dad put the other two girls to bed and whilst I was talking to Mum, I realised that within an hour, all three were asleep.
27:30Oh, look at that.
27:32Your kids are in their own beds.
27:34You know, nine o'clock and lights were out for everyone.
27:38Mum and Dad came downstairs and really didn't know what to do with themselves.
27:44I'm leaving for a couple of days.
27:47This is about you guys putting in the techniques and continuing because soon I'm going to be going for good.
27:53So this is an important part of what we're doing here.
27:56I'm nervous about when Jo leaves that we'll resort back to our old ways.
28:03You're welcome.
28:04I knew that whilst I weren't around that Mum would really have to step it up.
28:09But this was the first time that I was going to be leaving Mum and Dad alone by themselves in eight years.
28:17Stay there and just hug one another, huh?
28:24After three days away from the Shragi family, I was dying to see how they got on.
28:29Okay, are we ready to take a look at this DVD?
28:32Yes.
28:33Okay, so let's take a look then.
28:35Stop it or you're going to the...
28:37Naughty spot.
28:38You stop.
28:44Four minutes.
28:45Every time you get up it's almost...
29:07Do you want to tell me something?
29:20I'm sorry.
29:22Hold me a hug.
29:24Nice. Love it.
29:26Good job.
29:27Discipline is in the house.
29:29Yes.
29:30Hello.
29:31It's good that you recognise the steps, that you've got it underneath your belt.
29:35You're showing a good follow through.
29:37All right.
29:38Very, very good there.
29:40Now we're going to take a look at yourself, Christy, out with the girls for the afternoon.
29:46I can hold on to that.
29:47Yes.
29:48Okay, come on.
29:49We gotta go, girl.
29:50No.
29:51We do.
29:52Ellie, come on and get Emma.
29:53Now.
29:54Worst day of my life.
29:55Can we go somewhere else?
29:56No.
29:57Oh dear.
29:58You're taking them to the park, but you're not really getting engaged with them.
30:04You're standing on the edge.
30:05And I could see there was a disinterest.
30:06You were kind of on the side and didn't really want to have fun.
30:10You need to push through that.
30:11So, let's take a look at the park.
30:13We can hold on to them.
30:14We can hold on to them.
30:15Yes.
30:16Okay, come on.
30:17We gotta go, girl.
30:18No.
30:19We do.
30:20Ellie, come on and get Emma.
30:21Now.
30:22Worst day of my life.
30:23Can we go somewhere else?
30:24No.
30:25We can do that.
30:26So, let's take a look at the first clip of bedtime.
30:30Chip on in the bed.
30:34Good night.
30:35Y'all will be okay.
30:36I just want somebody to shoot me.
30:38Why?
30:39I hate this.
30:43But it worked.
30:46It's bedtime.
30:48I love you, mommy.
30:51I'm out.
30:52That's it.
30:55I can't just sit up there listening to her scream, I love you mommy.
31:02Okay.
31:03You did a great beginning.
31:04Yeah.
31:05You tucked the kids in.
31:06It was great.
31:07And then you went, okay, I've had enough now.
31:09I'm done.
31:10Mm-hmm.
31:11Ultimately, who was gonna step in?
31:13You had to step in.
31:14Mm-hmm.
31:15Because who else was gonna do it?
31:17Let's take a look at the second clip here of bedtime.
31:20Bedtime.
31:21Bedtime.
31:22Okay.
31:23Good night, I love you.
31:25It's OK, I'll be OK.
31:27No!
31:29No!
31:38No, Mummy!
31:40It's bedtime.
31:42OK, so when she said she wanted Mummy, that's what you should give her.
31:45She'll give her Mummy bedtime and take her back in.
31:53MUSIC
32:14Oh, dear, no!
32:17It's all over!
32:19No!
32:21Oh, my word, no!
32:23All that hard work!
32:25You cannot compromise the technique.
32:28You cannot compromise it.
32:31Otherwise, it just doesn't work.
32:33Mm-hm.
32:34Doesn't work.
32:35And it didn't.
32:36But she does need you.
32:38She needs you to place her back.
32:40If it's not done by you, it does create the good cop, bad cop.
32:44Let's address bedtime once and for all.
32:47Right.
32:48OK?
32:49Let's continue to work with what is necessary so that we can tweak today
32:54the stuff that needs to be addressed with what we've seen on the DVD here.
32:58And let's start now.
33:00OK.
33:01Good stuff.
33:02After seeing Christy so unengaged in the park, I just knew that I would have to deal with this constant issue.
33:12Christy?
33:13Yeah.
33:14Out with the girls?
33:15Sure.
33:16Three of them out.
33:17Let's have some fun, all of us.
33:18So I decided to take this family to the YMCA and give Christy a gentle nudge
33:23so she would learn how to enjoy herself with her kids.
33:26So let's pull out the inner child and let's enjoy it, yeah?
33:29I could see that Christy was a little nervous and definitely out of her league.
33:33OK.
33:34How are we getting in here?
33:36But I knew that once she got started, she'd have a whole heap of fun.
33:40Where are you lot?
33:42OK, follow the leader.
33:52I understand why Jo made me get in there and get involved.
33:55It was so the kids would know that I cared enough to give them my time and to play with them.
34:02It's about being a parent who actively engages with your children
34:06and shows them that you're interested in spending time with them.
34:09And that's what's happening here.
34:10Having fun with the kids allows them to burn energy productively.
34:14And at the same time, they're not going to be so clingy when it comes to bedtime.
34:19So we know that we need to do homework tonight with regards to the bedtime.
34:22The stakes are too high, let's face it.
34:24If you're not consistent with it, you're going to go downhill.
34:27Before I leave this house, I need to know you are strong enough
34:31to be able to commit to doing this bedtime technique.
34:35So, are you ready to put the kids to bed?
34:38Yeah.
34:39Whilst I was gone, Mum couldn't resist getting into bed with the little one
34:43and it compromised the technique.
34:45So, to move forward, I've got to make sure that Mum is totally committed to doing this.
34:51So, what's happening tonight with Carl?
34:53Carl's going to take a back seat, okay, and do his thing.
34:57And tonight, you're taking in charge of bedtime.
34:59I wanted Mum to do this technique without Carl around because at the end of the day,
35:03Mum is the one that's got to find the strength in putting these kids to bed and actively ignoring them.
35:09What would you wish for, Escaladdon?
35:11I would wish for freedom, the genie replied.
35:17Once the bedtime story was over, the tears and tantrums started.
35:21And it was really hard for Mum just to pull herself away.
35:25It's time to go to bed, baby.
35:43I may have been a little nervous having to do bedtime without Kyle, but I definitely saw the need for me to have to do it alone.
35:53Okay, so this is what we are going to change about yourself right now.
35:57Stay right there.
35:59I want to show you your face.
36:03So what are we going to do to change that?
36:05I guess I'm going to not look like that.
36:07You are on a mission. Get these kids into bed.
36:09Mm-hmm. Okay? Upright.
36:11You're going to get it done.
36:12When those kids come out, you're going to very firmly take them by the hand,
36:15and you're going to take them back into the bedrooms.
36:17I think I needed that final push from Jo about bedtime.
36:19And I want to swim!
36:23Kara was just like a little maniac.
36:25She was just running all over the room and zipping in and out.
36:33So it was a testing time for her.
36:36And it's not easy.
36:37There's no way it's easy for any parent.
36:40But it doesn't mean it's not right.
36:51It was hard.
36:52It's always hard hearing your child cry.
36:54I knew it was for the best.
36:55I knew that Emma was better off.
37:00As soon as Christy did step up and she was strong and persistent,
37:04these girls went off to sleep just like I knew they would.
37:06They're asleep!
37:08I did so good. I didn't even cry.
37:10Did you really?
37:11Mm-hmm.
37:12I was so excited to hear that Christy took charge at bedtime.
37:16To see her stand firm and to be the mother that these children needed to be,
37:21is just so relieving.
37:23So, congratulations.
37:25You have clearly shown yourself.
37:27You are able and capable of doing it.
37:29Thank you so much for helping.
37:31Bedtime is the one thing I thought we might not be able to overcome.
37:35That's the one thing that I was most worried about.
37:38And I think we're on the road to overcoming it.
37:41So, my work is done here.
37:44You sure?
37:45And your work is really just beginning.
37:48It's been a really intense time for the Shiragi family,
37:51but I know that I've left them with tools and knowledge and techniques
37:55to help them along the right pathway of being positive parents.
37:59Give me a big hug.
38:02I definitely have a newfound confidence in my parenting skills.
38:07Well, because now I have some.
38:09Give me a hug, you.
38:10Thank you, Jo.
38:11We are so grateful that she came to see us,
38:13and our family is going to be so much stronger because of what she's done for us.
38:17Take care.
38:18Bye.
38:19Bye.
38:20Bye.
38:21Bye.
38:22Jo, I thank you so much for helping our family.
38:25You have a tremendous gift, and you came in and saw where we needed help,
38:30and you helped us, and I thank you.
38:32I am a better parent now, but I'm still learning,
38:35and I will probably always be learning.
38:38But with Jo's techniques, we've got a good foundation.
38:41...
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