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Da is a police officer in the small town where they live, but 3-year-old daughter Sarah has taken to shoplifting!
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00:01Get your .
00:02Stop!
00:03Stop it!
00:04Stop it!
00:05Hi, we're the Citarella family.
00:07I'm Debbie.
00:08I'm Joe.
00:09We have four children.
00:10Rebecca's seven.
00:11It's hard to sleep.
00:13Sarah's six.
00:14He fell back there.
00:15Hannah's three.
00:17And Joshua's one and a half.
00:21I'm a stay-at-home mom.
00:23One, two, three, we got it!
00:25I'm a police officer.
00:26I work four days on, four days off.
00:28If Joe's not home,
00:31I'm praying and counting every minute until he gets home.
00:36Being a police officer,
00:37you're able to get the public.
00:38They pretty much follow what you say.
00:39And then when you come home,
00:40your kids just don't want to listen to you.
00:42Sit.
00:43Sit.
00:44Sit back.
00:45No, you're not getting it, and that's it.
00:46Why would you do that?
00:47Just sit.
00:49No.
00:50Oh, my God.
00:54Hold on a minute.
00:56That's just for earplugs in.
00:57They're going to spend the rest of the day in the room.
01:01Oh, Hannah.
01:04Get in that bed.
01:06Stop that.
01:10Get in that bed now.
01:12This is getting ridiculous.
01:14There was a few times with Hannah,
01:15we were out of the store, and we were shopping,
01:17and I turned around, and she was actually putting a pair of sunglasses
01:21in her pocketbook that she brought into the store.
01:23Here, your husband's a cop.
01:24It's a little embarrassing that, you know, your child's stealing.
01:27I did not pay for that.
01:29You cannot steal.
01:30I think we've got a little girl with sticky fingers here.
01:34Rebecca is pretty much bouncing up and down, bouncing around with other people.
01:38Very hard to control.
01:39Control yourself.
01:40Okay, I will.
01:41Okay, I will.
01:42Sarah is very set in her ways.
01:47When she doesn't want to do something, it ain't going to get done.
01:49You better get that laundry.
01:51I'm not.
01:54I want you to get up there now.
01:57How come mom's laughing?
01:59You're silly.
02:01Joshua, he's just, he's our brute.
02:07Yeah, ooh!
02:14Whoa!
02:16These parents are clearly overwhelmed.
02:19The kids pretty much just run a three-ring circus around me.
02:28I'm not smiling.
02:30Get in that bed now.
02:31I'm not kidding.
02:32I'm not smiling.
02:33Yes, you are.
02:34Oh, this is a joke.
02:36Get in that bed.
02:38Supernanny, we need your help.
02:42I just don't know what to do anymore.
02:44It's not fun anymore.
02:46This is our last resort.
02:47We have no other way to go.
02:49This family's in a right pickle.
02:51I'm on my way.
03:05Give me that, Josh.
03:06Hello!
03:07Hello, pleased to meet you.
03:09So nice to meet you.
03:10Thank you so much for coming.
03:12When Joe first walked in the door, I was so excited.
03:16I was really relieved.
03:17I was glad she was there.
03:19I couldn't wait to get started.
03:20Me too.
03:21Hi.
03:22This is Rebecca.
03:23Hi, Rebecca.
03:24Pleased to meet you.
03:25I'm Joe.
03:26How are you?
03:27I was honestly afraid of just, that she would see that we weren't being good parents,
03:29which I know Debbie and I try to be.
03:31So what's easier, being out on the streets and keeping everybody in check or trying to do
03:36it in your own home?
03:37I think being out on the streets and keeping the public in check is usually a little easier.
03:41Watch the screen.
03:42The first errand was a trip to the drug store, which was absolutely perfect because it gave
03:51me a chance to see how mom dealt with the children out in public.
03:55Hannah, come on.
03:56Hannah.
03:57Hannah, please stop.
03:59Hannah.
04:00Hannah, come on.
04:01Oh.
04:02Josh.
04:03Hannah.
04:04Get over here now.
04:05Becca, come on.
04:06No, Josh.
04:07Girls, please don't touch the cards.
04:08I've got enough to deal with your brother.
04:09Sarah.
04:10Hannah.
04:11Whoever you are.
04:12Don't touch that.
04:13Stop it now.
04:14No, leave her alone.
04:15Leave her alone.
04:16Leave her alone.
04:17The most obvious thing was how fluttered mom became when she was with her children out
04:30in public.
04:31She really started to panic.
04:32I can't breathe.
04:33You can't breathe.
04:34This is panic for you?
04:37Yes.
04:38Because they're like all over.
04:40I don't even know where Becca went.
04:42There is no control whatsoever.
04:44There's nothing that even resonates with mom in feeling confident about being a mother
04:50and having four kids and taking them out in public.
04:53Did you take anything?
04:54You promise?
04:55I have to check her pockets and spots to make sure that she didn't get anything.
05:04Hannah's got sticky fingers.
05:06I think a lot of kids have probably done that, you know, very innocently walked into a shop
05:11and taken something and feel like, hey, it's okay.
05:13And I think it's important that really this family teach Hannah that it's wrong to steal.
05:19I told you to watch your brother.
05:22Now look at that.
05:23Let's go.
05:24Let's go.
05:25I've had it.
05:26I've had it.
05:27What a palaver.
05:28Just to go into a shop and buy a few things.
05:31That was like unbelievable.
05:34I'm like, I'm exhausted.
05:40In the afternoon the kids were playing out in the backyard and mom wanted to bring Josh in
05:44so she could keep an eye on him while she did some cooking.
05:47But little Josh had bigger plans.
05:52Come on, Joshua.
05:58Come on.
05:59No, Joshua.
06:00No.
06:06Come on.
06:07She's giving him very strict direction.
06:16Come to mommy.
06:17We want to go upstairs.
06:18She starts to laugh.
06:19Boom.
06:20And then she plays peek-a-boo with him and she starts to run around the table.
06:26It's like, how does he take her seriously?
06:29Quite frankly, I've never seen a mom laugh so hysterically over her kid's bad behaviour.
06:35She obviously deals with it like this when she becomes overwhelmed.
06:39No.
06:40Somehow she manages to get Joshua into the kitchen.
06:46She drags him across the floor and he ends up in that high chair strapped in.
06:51And he is screaming, screaming and screaming.
06:55He doesn't want to be there.
06:56Mom needs to keep an eye on the little one, but at the same time she needs to give him some space so that he can play and have some fun.
07:08Otherwise he'll get bored and make a fuss.
07:10I don't know what else to do.
07:12It's like, really overwhelming.
07:17All right.
07:20Later that afternoon, the kids were still playing in the backyard, which gave me an opportunity to talk to mom about the challenges that she has to deal with.
07:28You know, four kids, do you find that overwhelming?
07:30I do.
07:31You know, I'm the youngest of five.
07:33I never had somebody to care for.
07:36My husband also was the youngest of three and he never had to care for anybody, so we just don't know what to do.
07:41I do have to tell you, Joe, it's very embarrassing.
07:46I used to have a quiet, wonderful, happy, do bunch of things kind of house and I don't.
07:55And I guess that's why I feel like I'm on the outside looking in because it's not what it used to be.
08:08Let's eat.
08:09After my chat with mom, dad came home shortly from enforcing the law and it gave me a good chance to see exactly how much law dad puts down at that dining table when it's meal time.
08:21This is a fork.
08:22That's what you see, not your fingers.
08:24Stop.
08:25Put your leg down there now.
08:29The children don't excuse themselves from the table, they just get up.
08:32Why don't you come sit down?
08:33Are you done eating?
08:34Good.
08:35Once again, by myself.
08:37Proper family meal times should be a part of this family's organized routine because when it's not, it leads to a load of misbehavior and discipline issues.
08:47Come on, your brother is sleeping.
08:48Stop.
08:49Stop.
08:50Stop.
08:51Stop.
08:52Stop.
08:53Now you're going to sit here if you can't share.
08:54You hear me?
08:55Sit there.
08:56Dad's discipline is ineffective.
08:57He placed Hannah into time out and then continued to talk to her.
09:02That's not the correct way to do it.
09:03Stop it.
09:04Stop.
09:05You're being dead.
09:06You're making it worse.
09:07Stop.
09:08You're not going.
09:09No.
09:10You're not getting it until you sit there.
09:12Don't hit me.
09:13You know better than that.
09:14Dad's a police officer and he's increasingly becoming frustrated with the fact that his own children don't have any respect for him or listen to him at all.
09:23Stop it.
09:24That's funny.
09:25Stay on here a minute.
09:26Stop it.
09:27Stop it.
09:28Stop it.
09:29No.
09:30You're not getting it until you sit there.
09:31Don't hit me.
09:32You know better than that.
09:33Dad's a police officer.
09:34And he's increasingly becoming frustrated with the fact that his own children don't have any respect for him or listen to him at all.
09:40It's not funny.
09:43Stay here a minute.
09:44Stop it.
09:45Saw it.
09:46Did you?
09:48Bye.
09:49Bye.
09:50The reason why the kids don't listen to dad is because when he puts them into time out, he continues to have a conversation with them.
10:02Ready for bed?
10:04We're just kidding.
10:05Ready for bed?
10:05Good night.
10:07So bedtime rolled around and I'd seen enough and knew exactly what needed to be said and done in this house.
10:13Sleep well the pair of you.
10:14I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
10:16I've had a really good day of observation though.
10:18Yes.
10:18A really great day.
10:19I'm going to have to seat a lot.
10:20So I do need to sit down and speak to you both tomorrow morning.
10:23So I look forward to seeing you then.
10:25Thank you so much.
10:26You're welcome.
10:27Good night.
10:27You too.
10:28They have called me in to help them, but I hope they realize that I'm not coming with a bag of fairy dust.
10:34It's going to take a lot of commitment to change things in this house.
10:37So I hope they're ready because I'm going to be kicking it up a notch.
10:41It's well needed.
10:43We're in big trouble.
10:45Wait a second.
10:46I'm in big trouble.
10:48It is obvious that the pair of you love your children a lot.
11:01That you care about how you raise them.
11:06But the irony in this situation is that, Joe, you spend time on the streets reinforcing the law, and yet in your own home, that's not being reinforced.
11:20Why is it so hard to give it to your own kids, Joe?
11:23Just, you know, I don't want to be the bad father or the dad who doesn't have fun or anything like that.
11:28Deb, how are your kids going to take you seriously if, when you discipline them, you laugh at them?
11:35How do I stop laughing?
11:37Well, you recognize.
11:39Don't use it as an excuse, Deb.
11:41It's not cutting it here at the table.
11:42Okay, you recognize that if I don't stop laughing and use a firmer voice that's going to exercise my authority, then these kids are going to realize that it's all a big joke.
11:55And that, to me, is absolutely crazy.
11:57You're in cuckoo land.
12:01No, no, I want you to stop laughing for a minute.
12:04Okay, I don't want the humor at this table right now.
12:07If you want your kids to respect you, then there's going to be a point where you're serious.
12:12Or your kids are just going to run amok, and you're not going to be in control.
12:18Let's talk about stealing.
12:19Your little one goes you into a shop, takes something, and then realizes it's okay to do that and do that again.
12:26That's a problem.
12:28We pay for things.
12:30At home, it's ours.
12:31But you haven't said that.
12:33And, Joe, you're a cop, and you've got your own kids stealing.
12:36If anything, I'd have thought it would have come from you first.
12:39Where's the consequence?
12:42I don't know.
12:45Earplugs, Joe!
12:46I use them on occasion.
12:48Shut yourself off.
12:50I don't know.
12:51I get a lot of headaches on the noise, and that's why.
12:53With the earplugs in.
12:55I would like to see no earplugs anymore.
12:58As the father of this house, you have a chance to be a very encouraging, supportive, loving father.
13:07But at the moment, I think I'm staring at somebody who thinks they can't do it.
13:10Am I right?
13:11Pretty much.
13:12But I know you can do it.
13:15Because if you couldn't, you won't be doing the job you're doing now.
13:19Still overwhelming.
13:21So we deal with it, or we don't deal with it?
13:23I deal with it.
13:24Mm-hmm.
13:25We try, or do we change this?
13:27We change.
13:28Because I don't do try.
13:35Hello.
13:36Hi.
13:36Hello.
13:36Hi.
13:37One concern I've got is that there's no structure, so I want to be able to go in and first put a routine in this household from the time the kids wake up to the time they go to bed.
13:48Deborah, you come over here, because you're going to do the writing.
13:50He's better off doing the writing.
13:52Deborah obviously had issues with me creating a new routine for her family, because she fought me on every detail.
14:00Joe's sleeping.
14:01Yeah.
14:02What's the big deal about the kids being still in bed?
14:05What's the thing?
14:06Well, they stay asleep.
14:07Nobody gets up then until quarter to nine.
14:09Is that right?
14:10No.
14:108.45?
14:11Nine o'clock.
14:12Right, that's too late.
14:13That's too late.
14:14Really?
14:14Yeah, it's too late, because you want Josh to be able to have a good morning where he's stimulated, he's got play, we want to fit in the snack time, we want to fit in the lunch.
14:24See, I really want to cut out snack altogether.
14:27Why?
14:27I don't think it's healthy for the kids to have snack.
14:30They need snack, otherwise their blood sugar levels drop.
14:32If I give them breakfast, lunch and dinner, and they have their snack exactly after their meal, it lets them sit down and eat their meal properly versus they're grazing all day.
14:44I plan on making changes, but I never saw myself making excuses.
14:49I really didn't.
14:50The girls can sit down and have breakfast by themselves.
14:53Yes, but I'm going to have to cook it twice.
14:55Why?
14:56Why should I have to cook breakfast twice?
14:58Why do you cook breakfast all the time?
14:59So that I have to cook lunch twice, dinner twice, everything twice.
15:02Why do you feel like you need to do even a cooked breakfast?
15:05How are they doing?
15:06Why do you have cereals and fruit?
15:07Because they don't settle for cereal.
15:10They want the waffles, the pancakes, the...
15:12Only if you run in Deborah's cafe in the morning.
15:16Arguing over every point, finding an excuse for everything.
15:20I don't want them to go to school and say that I didn't feed them breakfast.
15:25I gave them a bunch of fruit.
15:25Stop worrying about the rest of America and concentrate on your family.
15:30Stop arguing.
15:31This is so immature.
15:32Let's focus on what we're here to do.
15:36It's going to be difficult for me to help Deb if she's not willing to receive my help.
15:41So we've got Josh having that nap and then at 2.30, pick kids up from school.
15:46Snack.
15:47Another snack?
15:48Correct.
15:49You're kidding me, right?
15:50They would have only had one snack again.
15:55Oh my God.
15:57There's always been a routine in my head of what I have to get done during the day.
16:02I just may not have let the kids know what that is.
16:05Eight o'clock shower.
16:07There's the girls.
16:08Eight o'clock shower and 8.30 bedtime.
16:11I like that.
16:13Kids are in bed.
16:14Hey, just do what you want.
16:16I don't think the issue is snacks, cooking,
16:20or getting up early.
16:22I think it's Deb not wanting to take direction.
16:25She's still fighting on every level.
16:27Even Dad's noticed.
16:29All right, let's have that up.
16:35After the resistance that Deb gave me on the routine,
16:39it's going to be really telling to see how she responds to implementing discipline.
16:45Sarah, you just kicked me.
16:46Now stop.
16:48What do I do with this?
16:50Sarah, stop.
16:52Sarah.
16:53Stop it.
16:54Like, I don't know what to do.
16:55Look at her.
16:55Look at her in the face.
16:57Sarah.
16:58Stop.
17:00Mum laughs when anything becomes overwhelming for her.
17:05And if she's to change this,
17:07then she's going to have to get through this challenge.
17:10Okay.
17:10Don't laugh.
17:11It's not funny.
17:11Stop.
17:12You're right.
17:12No, stop.
17:13Look at me.
17:14Stop.
17:15It's harder for me to break the laugh because it's an embarrassment of how I'm disciplining them.
17:20And it's like, ah, as it's coming out.
17:24So as soon as something happens, stop.
17:26Ow.
17:27Sarah, stop it.
17:29Now give her a warning.
17:31Give her a warning.
17:32How do I do it?
17:33Low-tone voice.
17:34Sarah, come here, please.
17:35Come here.
17:36Stand up, please.
17:37Stop that behaviour right now.
17:39Okay.
17:40Okay?
17:41Any more nonsense like that and you'll be doing time.
17:44Do you understand me?
17:45Straight away, you'll be in that corner.
17:47Okay.
17:48Okay.
17:49So, you didn't see me laughing, did you?
17:51No.
17:51Huh?
17:52No.
17:55Mum was still being so combative, so I needed just to have a straight, blunt talk with her.
18:01So I asked the kids to leave so that I could have a one-on-one.
18:03You asked me to come into your house, okay, and help you.
18:07Yes.
18:07Okay?
18:08You gave me a hundred reasons why things weren't working.
18:12Okay.
18:13Okay?
18:14It's not cutting anymore.
18:15If you want results and if you want change, then you accept that you're doing things wrong.
18:20I am, but I don't think it's being laziness.
18:21Okay, no, stop.
18:22I'm talking, please.
18:23It's not knowing.
18:25Do not play with me an attitude of not knowing anything.
18:29You made a decision to have four kids.
18:31You have not shown me any responsibility or accountability for what has happened in this
18:37house.
18:38You are an immature woman who needs to grow up.
18:43And if you don't like what I'm saying, then you better get used to it.
18:46Because let me tell you something, Deb.
18:48If I need to give you military boot camp, that's what I'm going to do.
18:52Let's start fresh here, okay?
18:55You are lazy.
18:56There are things about you that are lazy.
18:58I don't believe that.
19:01Get over it.
19:03Get over it.
19:04That's not laziness.
19:05Deb, get over it.
19:06By lazy, I mean lazy.
19:09L-A-Z-Y.
19:11Mum's not willing to admit that she's wrong and there are things that need to change.
19:16Your mind is so warped and negative.
19:19You are so quick to disable yourself in so many ways that you're not even willing to take
19:26the blinkers off.
19:27But what I will not tolerate from you is an attitude that everything's perfect, okay?
19:33And that I'm not lazy.
19:34You are lazy.
19:36You are lazy.
19:37There's no two ways about that.
19:39Those kids are what I care about.
19:41I do, too.
19:42Then start showing it.
19:44I do.
19:44Then start showing it.
19:46If you didn't need my help, I wouldn't be here.
19:50So admit that you need the help.
19:52I do need the help.
19:53And allow me to come in.
19:55Bring down the wall and get in touch with reality here, Deb.
19:59It's as simple as that.
20:00So if you want to fight with yourself, then you fight with yourself.
20:06I'm not here to fight.
20:07I'm here to work out solutions that are going to make you happier as a mother.
20:11You either want that or you don't.
20:13I do want that.
20:14Right.
20:15Then let's go.
20:20Who wants to play shots?
20:22Do you want to play shots, Mummy?
20:23Yes, I give you.
20:24Okay, okay.
20:25After a stiff talk with Deb, I was pleased to see that she was on board because we had to
20:30teach Hannah all about stealing and how wrong it was.
20:33So this is our supermarket.
20:35Okay, so where do our tins go in the supermarket?
20:39Up there.
20:39As soon as we started to improvise, I could see that Deb's attitude started to change.
20:45So I think the stiff talk did some good.
20:47And now we can start to make some real progress.
20:50And innocently, she feels like she can just take it and it's okay.
20:53But we need to teach her that it's wrong to do that.
20:55And we're going to do that by teaching her exactly what we do in the real world, in the adult world.
21:00And now we pay for things.
21:01Hannah was the shopper.
21:03And I was the cashier.
21:05And Joe was the shop owner.
21:09We gave Hannah some money and a little basket so she could put some food in it and take it to the cashier.
21:14We have a tomato.
21:17Hannah was a little confused at first.
21:19Excuse me, we need to pay for these first.
21:21Excuse me, did you throw something in there that we didn't pay for?
21:25It's Julia.
21:26My word, excuse me, madam.
21:29We need to pay for the apple first.
21:31Yeah.
21:32Excuse me, shall I call the manager?
21:34That's stealing.
21:35That is stealing.
21:36We had to set a firm example.
21:38But one that would be fun so that she would remember and know that stealing is wrong.
21:43Are you going to pay for it?
21:45Yeah.
21:45All right, okay.
21:47It looks like you owe $5.
21:49Yeah.
21:50Yes?
21:51Yes!
21:52She loved it.
21:53She had so much fun with it.
21:55This was a great technique to teach Hannah not to steal.
21:58You have a nice day, ma'am.
22:01So long.
22:02You're a good little shopper.
22:05So you paid all of this with money?
22:06Yeah.
22:07Hannah got it.
22:08She understood that mommy can't give you that until I physically pay for it with money.
22:14When we're in the supermarket or in the shops and we pick things up, we have to pay for them.
22:19Because if we just take them and we don't pay for them, it's stealing.
22:24That's a really bad thing to do.
22:26Would you like to have a go at being the cashier now?
22:28Yeah.
22:28Okay, and mommy do the shopping?
22:30Yeah.
22:30Okay, let's do that.
22:35After teaching Hannah that stealing is wrong, I recognised that Mr. Policeman himself was having a hard job reinforcing rules in his own home.
22:48No, you're not good.
22:49No, no.
22:50You know what?
22:51Sit.
22:52Sit here for not listening for the fifth time.
22:54Sit.
22:55Sit.
22:56Let's go.
22:57Put the ball away.
22:57Sit there until I tell you to get up or you're not going to do anything for the rest of the day.
23:03You're standing up and now you're not going to ride your bike.
23:06Sit.
23:06No, you're done.
23:07You're not riding your bike.
23:08No.
23:09I don't care.
23:12Until you sit there quietly, you're not getting out.
23:14So sit there quietly.
23:16Stop kicking the door.
23:17Sarah was putting up a fight, so I took Dad to the side to teach him how to teach Sarah that he meant business.
23:24What you're doing is you're feeding into all of that.
23:27She's sitting there doing time, knows she's misbehaving, and now she can draw everyone to her situation.
23:33I love my kids, but I've got to have the ability to lay down some rules.
23:39If you don't rise above it, then it won't change.
23:44So now what do you do if she just keeps running out of here?
23:46Ignore her and put her back.
23:47I mean, Joe was doing well, but I want to be able to teach him how to discipline without saying a word.
24:01It's kind of the hardest part is just sticking with the discipline thing and trying to get them to stay in the corner and not get too frustrated and give up on it.
24:10Your time was up, wasn't it?
24:11Yes.
24:11So you should follow through because then she knows that you're doing this technique.
24:15You know why you're sitting here?
24:18Because I do, Dad.
24:20Dad is learning how to stand up for himself and discipline correctly.
24:24And the more he follows through and is consistent, the more his kids are going to start to listen to him and respect him.
24:30Dad.
24:31Come on.
24:33Go.
24:37With the techniques in place, it's time for me to leave and to see exactly how well they do without me.
24:42I am leaving for a couple of days.
24:45All right, but know this.
24:46I am going to be watching.
24:48Okay.
24:49You know the drill.
24:50And I'll see you on my return.
24:52Okay.
24:53Take care.
24:54Take care.
24:54It's going to be interesting to see exactly how well the Citrella family do on their own because we do still have a lot of teaching to do.
25:00After a few days without me, I'm really excited to see how well they've done with the kids.
25:13Hello.
25:14Hello.
25:14Hello.
25:14So, who's ready to take a look at some of this footage?
25:21We're ready.
25:21We're ready.
25:22Okay.
25:23The first clip that we're going to see.
25:27I didn't say to go in.
25:28I expect you girls to stay by the stroller.
25:32Do not touch anything off of these shelves.
25:34Do you understand me?
25:36If you don't behave, you won't go to soccer.
25:40Sarah, if you don't behave, you won't go...
25:43You won't have computer time later either.
25:47Mommy, I pay.
25:48I pay.
25:49Four and a half.
25:50Mommy, I pay.
25:51Five.
25:51Why are you paying for the stuff?
25:57Why aren't we just walking out the door?
25:59Why are we paying?
26:00Pay.
26:01Because why?
26:02What would that be if we just walked out the door with it?
26:06I'm stealing.
26:08I'm stealing.
26:09Right.
26:10Right.
26:11So, we're going to pay.
26:12That's a good thing.
26:14Because that's what we wanted.
26:16We wanted Hannah paying.
26:19That's fantastic.
26:20Very good, clear expectations.
26:24What I would ask you to do, though, is just to be a little bit softer.
26:28Okay.
26:28With your tone.
26:29You know, it's a matter of fact, you're just setting up expectations.
26:32All right?
26:33So, more of your everyday voice.
26:38Give that.
26:41Get in jail because you have to go all the way to our field.
26:44Don't talk with your mouthful, please.
26:46Mommy.
26:47They're good.
26:48I don't know what they're going through.
26:50Finish it.
26:55Don't spit it out.
26:57So, she's like this and you're still feeding her.
27:00Because that's acceptable, right?
27:01No.
27:02That's okay.
27:02No, it is, though.
27:03No, it's not.
27:04But it is.
27:05It is for you.
27:06You set that standard.
27:08We weren't playing during that time.
27:11Playing.
27:11Yeah.
27:11So, let's just recap on that.
27:13How do you feel when you go to a restaurant and your kids are behaving like that?
27:16How do you feel?
27:16Embarrassed.
27:17Embarrassed.
27:18So, have we got room for that, then, play?
27:19No.
27:20You set no standards.
27:22You've got no etiquette at the table.
27:23Just like you as parents need guidance and direction, your kids need to be taught also.
27:31Kids don't come born with a chip in their brain already and know what to do.
27:34Plus, I can see why you're embarrassed.
27:35So, is that something we want changed?
27:39Absolutely.
27:40So, the next clip we are going to see here, Joe, is all about you doing time out.
27:45How are you getting on with doing time here?
27:47Yes, they went pretty well, so.
27:49Okay, let's take a look at this.
27:51Come on.
27:54That's where you're going for not listening for the fifth time today.
27:56Let's go.
28:00Tell you you're ignoring me and doing what you want.
28:02Now, sit here until I tell you to move.
28:05No, you're staying there for being fresh.
28:18You lost it.
28:22It's not funny.
28:23At all.
28:26Stop it.
28:28I don't want to talk about my beard.
28:30Sit on your butt the way you're supposed to sit.
28:32What do you see?
28:33When you watch this, Joe, what do you see?
28:35You might have talked to her too much while she was there.
28:38Yeah, that's right.
28:39Yeah.
28:40Which means you're not doing the technique properly.
28:41Right.
28:42You have a wonderful family, and I've seen some really good stuff here.
28:47There are things that do need to be polished up in here.
28:50Okay?
28:51And I don't want to leave until they are polished up.
28:53Are we happy to do that?
28:54Absolutely.
28:55Okay.
28:55Are we ready to just embrace life and recognise that we're here and our family come first?
29:01Yes.
29:02Okay.
29:02Let's do that then.
29:03The first item of business was to turn the tables completely around on Dad, so that when
29:11we went out on a car trip, I would break out my own earplugs.
29:14So, refresh my memory with these car journeys with you and the kids in the car.
29:24I had seen in submission Dad placing earplugs in when the kids started to play up in the back
29:30of the car.
29:31Not only is this highly dangerous and could lead to an accident, but this is about a
29:35Dad who's zoning out because he doesn't want to address what his girls are doing in the
29:39back.
29:40So, today I thought I would show him by using his own example.
29:45You know, when would this normally happen?
29:47Pretty much any time we went on a long drive.
29:50Sorry?
29:51Any time we went on a long drive or pretty much any time we went on a drive at all.
29:56The main reason these girls kick off is because they want to have a conversation with their
30:00Dad.
30:00If he gets rid of these earplugs, then he'll allow himself to have a two-way conversation
30:05with them and logically they're going to behave better.
30:08Like Rebecca and Sarah.
30:09Did you say Rebecca?
30:10Rebecca.
30:12Rebecca?
30:12No.
30:13I'm trying to look at your lips.
30:14Yeah, Rebecca.
30:16Sorry, did you say something?
30:18Sorry, did you say...
30:19Oh, that's better.
30:20Did you say something?
30:22When I looked in the mirror and saw that she had actually put the earplugs in, it was funny.
30:27Well, these things are good, but I can't hear a damn thing.
30:30I think he got the message very quickly.
30:33And as I hoped, Dad's conversation with the girls, music to my ears.
30:38Your teacher wasn't there today?
30:40It's very nice.
30:41Is she really?
30:42Definitely without the earplugs, it makes life easier for the girls to be able to ask questions
30:46and for me to be able to answer them.
30:48When we get home, can we ride bikes?
30:52I don't know, we'll have to see what Mommy has planned.
30:53Wow, you wouldn't have heard that with earplugs on.
30:55And the final step forward was to trash those earplugs.
31:05Let's just hope that's the last of the earplugs that we'll see again.
31:09After teaching Dad to be more hands-on with the kids, it was time to give this family a test.
31:15Before I arrived, dinner times would be mayhem, so I wanted to set a challenge for this family
31:20to go out and eat in a restaurant.
31:23This is your creative flower arrangement that is going to sit in the middle of your table for a good while
31:31until your children learn good table manners.
31:34It was very evident that these parents hadn't sat in their own house at the dining table
31:40implementing good manners.
31:43As you'll see, each flower has a message.
31:46Use your silverware to eat.
31:49Play with toys, not your food.
31:51So today, what we are going to do is to take our flower arrangement
31:54and we're going to take it out.
31:56We're going to take it to the restaurant, we're going to place it on the table,
31:59we're going to look over our bouquet of flowers,
32:01and we're going to implement these rules on the fly.
32:05Joe's face looked a picture.
32:07Oh my word, are you kidding me?
32:10We're going to a restaurant.
32:11But, you know, we rounded up the kids and off we went.
32:14Sit down.
32:15Sit down.
32:16Sit down.
32:19Sit down.
32:20Josh decided that he didn't want to sit in his high chair
32:27and he kicked off this complete meltdown.
32:31And I thought, well, you know what, we're staying here.
32:33It's having a temper tantrum because you're telling them to do it.
32:37But you know that he peeps and then he lets go.
32:40I've seen this a hundred times before.
32:45You just keep with it and then the child realizes.
32:47Sit down and be late.
32:53This is all my fault.
32:55I'm his mother and I felt responsible for his meltdown.
32:59Sit down.
33:05No.
33:05What is he learning right now?
33:07That every time he screams like that, you pick him up.
33:11So what do you think he's going to continue to do?
33:14Scream right now?
33:14Exactly.
33:15For some parents, it can be highly embarrassing when you're in a restaurant and your kid is screaming down the house.
33:22But if you don't learn to stick with it and push through, then you'll never go out to a restaurant and enjoy yourself.
33:29Now he knows he's got to scream for double the time before you hold him again.
33:35Instead of following through, you did the easier thing and that was to hold him.
33:39You just think it's never going to end and nothing's going to work.
33:41And at that point, you want to just get up and leave and, you know, just go home and eat.
33:45OK, so the difference between what we're seeing here is actually Joe's interacting with him.
33:50He's talking.
33:51He's asking him if he wants a few things, you know.
33:54Rather than trying to console him, he's actually just interacting and talking with him.
33:57After Josh calmed down a bit, I was able to get back to the task at hand and teach these kids some table manners.
34:04Get your elbows off the table, Sarah.
34:07Oh, dear.
34:08We need to put that big flower in front of you.
34:10Huh?
34:12Please.
34:13Daddy, can you pour me some lemonade, please?
34:18The quickest way to teach your kids table manners is to lead by example.
34:22And yes, that does include how to use your silverware.
34:25Look at Mommy's hands.
34:27You do this.
34:29Put your finger there.
34:30Put your knife like this.
34:32And you hold the chicken and you cut with the knife.
34:35And what does the fork do?
34:36The fork holds the chicken.
34:38And then this.
34:40Now that clear expectations have been laid down for the kids at mealtimes, if they just follow through, there's no reason why this family won't be able to go out again and dine in peace.
34:49I'm really pleased to see that.
34:51Well done.
34:52Good job, Sarah.
34:53And you, Sarah.
34:54Keep your elbows off the table, though, love.
34:55But good job for using your napkin.
34:57This wasn't a bad first go.
35:00It was just awesome.
35:01I was able to sit at the table for the first time and eat with my family.
35:07I will see you back at the house.
35:11You're welcome.
35:13See you later.
35:18I want a big hug because JoJo's going home now.
35:21Hannah, can I grab a big hug?
35:22A big hug.
35:24I think my family is better now that JoJo came.
35:29Bye, Sarah, darling.
35:30There's no doubt in my mind.
35:33I'm completely confident that what I've been able to give this family, they can use.
35:39Oh, wow, look.
35:41I go home with all these lovely pictures.
35:44That's adorable.
35:46I just hope that they find it in themselves to realise that they deserve to move forward and be in a better place.
35:52Give me a big hug, all you girls.
35:54Give me a big hug.
35:56Bye-bye.
35:57Bye-bye.
35:57Joe helped us in areas that I really needed the most help in.
36:04You're welcome.
36:05Take care of yourself.
36:06Definitely a blessing that Jo came at this time.
36:09I mean, it couldn't have worked out any better.
36:11Take care.
36:11Bye.
36:12Hey, doing time.
36:14Focus on that doing time.
36:16We know that it's going to be a process to work on.
36:19It's going to take some time, but as long as we stick with it, it should work.
36:21Bye-bye.
36:22Bye-bye.
36:22Bye-bye.
36:23Bye-bye.
36:23Bye-bye.
36:24Bye-bye.
36:24Bye-bye.
36:25Bye, Jo.
36:26When I first met Deb, she laughed at absolutely everything.
36:33And now she realises there's a time and a place for laughter, but not when it's about discipline.
36:41Yay.
36:42Yay.
36:43We're off to the park.
36:45I think definitely since this process, we've become a better family.
36:50It's easier to go out and do things, and I think it's just going to get even better as
36:55we build on it.
36:56I think that things will be much easier now.
36:59Let's go.
37:01I definitely think I'll be a better dad, just knowing what to do with the kids and just getting
37:06them to listen.
37:07Let's go.
37:08And just to make the home life, you know, that much better.
37:13Snail.
37:14You know, just Joe having the confidence and control over the children and knowing that
37:19he can handle all four by himself, that's huge for me.
37:24Thank you, Joe.
37:25My mom and dad are better parents because of all JoJo's help.
37:34Thanks, JoJo.
37:55Bye.
37:56Bye.
37:57Bye.
37:58Bye.
37:58Bye.
37:59Bye.
37:59Bye.
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