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18-year-old father-to-be Wesley McGillian and sulky, secretive 16-year-old Tamsin Carruthers-Cole travel to New Jersey, USA.
For a week they must live under the strict rules of two dads in the Loperleveille family. Dad Joe is a businessman and his partner Scott is a stay-at-home father, looking after their five boys, three adopted and two fostered. The dads believe that clear rules and honest communication is the key to successfully raising their family.
They have prepared a set of rules for the British teens to follow that includes no drinking, no drugs and going to bed early. The teens are also asked to take a drugs test, which causes Tamsin to question her past behaviour and the way she has treated her family.
Over the week the teens are strictly supervised. Wes starts work at a local deli and babysits a one-year-old boy. Can the dads teach Wesley to grow up and be a man, while teaching Tamsin to tell her mother the truth?
For a week they must live under the strict rules of two dads in the Loperleveille family. Dad Joe is a businessman and his partner Scott is a stay-at-home father, looking after their five boys, three adopted and two fostered. The dads believe that clear rules and honest communication is the key to successfully raising their family.
They have prepared a set of rules for the British teens to follow that includes no drinking, no drugs and going to bed early. The teens are also asked to take a drugs test, which causes Tamsin to question her past behaviour and the way she has treated her family.
Over the week the teens are strictly supervised. Wes starts work at a local deli and babysits a one-year-old boy. Can the dads teach Wesley to grow up and be a man, while teaching Tamsin to tell her mother the truth?
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00:01Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline.
00:06It's our responsibility as parents to be in control of the music that they listen to,
00:11the movies they watch, and the friends they have.
00:15Rigid boundaries.
00:17Am I friends with my children? No, I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.
00:22And immediate consequences.
00:24My diet is really strict.
00:26If you break the rules, he can be very scary.
00:29But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?
00:35I was brought here on this earth to party.
00:39She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.
00:43My lifestyle is playing Xbox and getting hammered.
00:47Whoa!
00:51Yeah, I went to anger management. Got kicked out of anger management for being angry.
00:56No-one can tell me what to do. Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.
01:02He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me. He's done it all.
01:06I am what I am if you don't like it and jog on.
01:10To find out, two teens who've never met before will leave their froth families behind.
01:16Maybe she'll come back, Kyle, and be nice. That way.
01:20And head off to the far corners of the world where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
01:26You are not in the UK. You are in Barbados.
01:30They're the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.
01:33If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.
01:38I'm like a handbag.
01:40What are you going to do? What are you going to do?
01:41I'm a fool.
01:42This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.
01:46What's the point? What's the point?
01:48The point is a matter of trust.
01:49If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.
02:1019-year-old Wes McGillian has only one thing on his mind.
02:14If they're ugly, it's funny. If they fit, then it's good on you.
02:20The plan is, like, going out having a good time and then see what's knocking about.
02:25Even if it's a bull, not even a sag, it's just good enough.
02:27It's not the kind of thing that I like.
02:36So, nah, I don't really, I have no care in the world.
02:38Nah, I really don't. There's, like, there's nothing to care about.
02:41But Wesley's mum, Tina, wants him to face his responsibilities.
02:47I just want to know what you think about it, what you're going to do.
02:51It's quite enough fun.
02:52You're just going to have fun for the rest of your life?
02:54Yeah.
02:55And what about the baby?
02:56What about the baby?
02:57Three months ago, Wesley received shocking news.
03:06My ex-girlfriend is now pregnant with my child.
03:11She told me on the computer, on Facebook.
03:15Still at college, Wes refuses to confront the reality of being a teen dad.
03:20What I'm doing about the baby is nothing.
03:22I just don't want to think about it.
03:24That's real, Wesley.
03:26But it's not here now, is it?
03:27Yeah, but it's real.
03:28It's just a photo.
03:30It's not a photo, it's a photo of your baby and my grandchild.
03:34Well, I'm what?
03:35Wesley's mum separated from his father when he was a little boy.
03:39She doesn't want Wes to follow in his dad's footsteps.
03:43Every child should have the dad around them and be in the life 24-7, basically.
03:47And that's why I really want to push it for Wesley to think about his responsibility to his baby.
03:52I don't want him to be like a part-time dad.
03:55Because you've got to plan.
03:56Plan what?
03:58Plan, you've got to save, you've got to buy a cot, you've got to buy a pram.
04:02Now, what can I do?
04:03You're going to have to get a part-time job because you're going to have to work extra hard.
04:06As parents, Wesley, that's what you have to do in life.
04:09Mumtina is ashamed of his immature attitude.
04:12If Wesley didn't take responsibility of this child, I'd kill him.
04:15He wouldn't be the boy that I gave birth to.
04:22Everyone in Brian, this is high or nice.
04:25Sixteen-year-old Tamsin Carothers Cole has a broken relationship with her family.
04:31I really kind of hate living here.
04:38When was the last time you had anything to eat?
04:41Good morning.
04:43When I try and talk to Tamsin, I will 99% of the time get a brick wall.
04:48Can I have some money, please?
04:51What do you need money for?
04:52I don't know, in case I'm going to get a bus anywhere.
04:55She's a very beautiful 16-year-old, pain in the arse.
04:59I don't know why I've been getting loads of money for you, I haven't.
05:02I've been being really good about it, so please, can I just have a fibre at least?
05:06I might need to get a bus to the other side of Brighton or something.
05:09So a bus is two pounds.
05:12F***y.
05:13When I'm in a bad mood, I'm the child from hell.
05:19Mum and Dad suspect Tamsin is experimenting with drugs.
05:23I've had weekend vendors, but if you don't sleep, you get sleep deprived and kind of insane.
05:33I don't know what goes on in her social life or what kind of peer pressure there is.
05:38So, of course, I worry as a parent.
05:41I have a life at home and then a different life outside my home.
05:47And this is all secret.
05:49I've tried a lot of drugs, but everything really.
05:54Abbie, you ain't got no decision. Getting pushed into the African pimps.
05:58Tamsin's parents are terrified she's throwing her life away.
06:01She's dropped out of college. I mean, she's not doing anything.
06:04You know, we'd always done music, for example.
06:07All those things went out the window.
06:09Most of her problems are because she doesn't say what she's really feeling.
06:13It just comes out as anger.
06:15I'm an angry person, but I'm not. That's the thing.
06:18I can't control her and I accept that.
06:31OK, thanks very much, driver.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:35I miss you.
06:40Are you ignoring me completely? Do you know why you're going there?
06:42Right, you've got to think about it.
06:44And if you show us up, I'll be really, really upset.
06:46To try and turn their irresponsible teenagers into mature adults,
06:51both families have agreed to send them to live with new parents
06:55on the other side of the world.
06:58I'm just hoping that he's not got girls on his mind
07:00and he's going there to think deeply about his himself and his responsibilities.
07:05Yeah, like what he's got to do, really.
07:07Yeah, forget about the women.
07:09I'm not going to cry.
07:11She's not going to look back.
07:12That's it. She's just gone.
07:13She doesn't like showing emotion.
07:14She told me I wasn't allowed to cry and I wasn't allowed to be over emotional.
07:23I want her to come back having found something positive and constructive in her life instead of negative and destructive.
07:32Hi.
07:33Nice to meet you. What's your name?
07:34I'm Tamsin. What's your name?
07:35Wesley.
07:36Hi.
07:37Yeah.
07:38So what brings you here then?
07:39I need to sort my life out.
07:40See him here.
07:41I don't know what to expect.
07:43Still can't believe that it's actually happening.
07:45America, here we go.
07:46The three and a half thousand mile journey will end here, upmarket Cape May, on the American East Coast.
07:57Home to the Loper Lavelle family.
08:00Scott Loper and Joe Lavelle have been together for 19 years.
08:04They have a straight talking approach when it comes to parenting.
08:09I enjoy my children. I have a good relationship with my children.
08:13But am I friends with my children? No. I'm not. I'm not your friend. I'm your parent.
08:19Good morning.
08:20Three of their kids are adopted and two are being fostered.
08:24They include Noah, 11.
08:27Come on, guys.
08:28Chris, who is 16.
08:30And Zach, 17.
08:31Amazing.
08:33We were the very first gay couple in New Jersey to openly, jointly adopt children together.
08:42You need more scramble eggs?
08:44It may seem unusual to some people for two men to have this many children.
08:49But when you get right down to it, we really pretty much do anything that any other type of family would do.
08:56Joe and Scott provide a stable family for children who would otherwise live in a state-run home.
09:01Most of the children that come to us come to us from a background that is somehow damaged.
09:09We've dealt with everything from petty larceny, lying, drugs.
09:16They maybe aren't used to the type of structure that we try and provide here.
09:20In fact, with that many kids in the house, we really need the type of structure that we provide here.
09:26With five boys and a beautiful home, two of those key structures are tidiness and cleanliness.
09:33We check to make sure that the kids have made their beds properly, that their rooms are neatened.
09:39How come the blinds are closed?
09:40Ooh, the room that's always a disaster area.
09:43Dare I?
09:44Go ahead.
09:46Oh, my gosh.
09:47Look at that.
09:49This house is one of my biggest accomplishments next to my kids.
09:58I would say that the thing that I am most proud of isn't any accomplishment of mine other than my family.
10:09After a nine-hour flight, the teens touch down in the United States.
10:15Cape May is a two-hour drive.
10:21They're going to be the typical American family, aren't they?
10:23American flag outside.
10:25All holding Bibles, singing little hymns when we're coming in.
10:31I respect their views, but they've got to respect mine.
10:34I don't believe it.
10:35True, say that.
10:36Because if they treat me like crap, then I have to treat them like crap.
10:39Like, it's going to be weird if there's a dad there as well.
10:41Like, some male authority trying to tell me what to do.
10:45Are you ready for this?
10:48Yeah.
10:49It's two, man.
10:53It's two, man.
10:56Is it a gay couple?
10:57No, no.
10:58Oh, it's going on here.
11:01Hello.
11:02How do you do?
11:03I guess you probably didn't expect this.
11:04No, I didn't.
11:05Welcome.
11:06I'm Wes.
11:07Hi, Wes.
11:08Hi, I'm Tamsin.
11:09Hi, how are you?
11:10Welcome.
11:11Tamsin.
11:12Tamsin.
11:13And Wes.
11:14Wes, yeah.
11:15I'm Joe.
11:16I guess you're a couple, yeah.
11:17Yes.
11:18Yes.
11:19Well, we're a couple of something.
11:20You guessed correctly.
11:21So, yes.
11:22I bet you weren't expecting that either.
11:25From now on, Tamsin and Wes will be living as children of the local Lavelle's.
11:31Come on in.
11:32Oh, beautiful.
11:33I'll let you introduce.
11:34Wow.
11:35These are our boys.
11:37All right.
11:38This is...
11:39Daniel.
11:40All right.
11:41Zach.
11:42All right.
11:43Noah.
11:44And Justin.
11:45Nice to meet you.
11:46I'm Wes.
11:47And what was your name?
11:48Tamsin.
11:49Tamsin.
11:50Well, welcome.
11:51We do want you to consider this your home.
11:53We'll show you around and then we'll do all the formalities.
11:56All righty.
11:57So, if you want to grab your bikes.
11:58You guys are going to be around the corner here.
12:03Okay.
12:04After you, please.
12:05This will be your room.
12:07There are empty drawers.
12:09All of these drawers are empty for your use.
12:11The closet, there are hangers.
12:12So, we want you to be at home and not living out of a suitcase.
12:15Okay.
12:16Wes, this is your room.
12:17You're going to be sleeping in that bed.
12:19We would like you to unpack and make yourself at home.
12:23Wow.
12:24Okay.
12:25How did you manage to have them kids?
12:27All of our children, obviously.
12:28They were really tough birthing.
12:29They were really tough birthing.
12:30They were really tough birthing.
12:31I think my figure came back nice, don't you?
12:33Yeah.
12:34Well, I think I did pretty good.
12:38Wow.
12:39Wow.
12:42What do you think?
12:43I wasn't expecting that at all.
12:44I wasn't expecting that.
12:48This is the first gay couple I've ever met.
12:50So, it doesn't bother me because that's who they are.
12:53But, it's just strange to get your head around the situation.
12:56Scott, you locked the liquor cabinet, correct?
12:59It's always locked anyway.
13:01All right.
13:02This week, I really don't know what's going to happen.
13:05Really?
13:06I'm in shock.
13:08Truly in shock.
13:09Big shock.
13:10Males everywhere.
13:11I'm just living in a house of girls.
13:13Joe and Scott believe that honesty is the key to their success as parents.
13:20Wesley, Tamsin, could you come in here, please?
13:25So, before the teens are fully welcomed into the family, the dads want to outline exactly what's expected of them.
13:34Welcome to Camp Scott.
13:36This is Camp Scott.
13:37This house is run by me.
13:41Rule number one.
13:42No drug or alcohol use will be tolerated.
13:45The drinking age here in the United States is 21.
13:48There are no ifs, ands, or buts on this.
13:52I am nosy.
13:53I will find out.
13:55Rule number two.
13:56Chores are to be completed when asked.
13:58This home is neat.
14:00We expect it to stay that way.
14:02And I have a few things under that.
14:04A. Beds will be made each morning.
14:06Bed and room inspections to follow.
14:09B. Keep rooms, drawers, and closets tidy.
14:13If you fail to clean up after yourself, I will call you back and you will do it.
14:19C. Boys who cannot aim correctly will sit.
14:25Funny one, right, Wes?
14:27You may find that funny.
14:29All of my children sit.
14:32Bedtime on weekdays is promptly at 10.
14:35No exceptions.
14:36Are you joking?
14:37No, I'm not.
14:38There's no way I can go to bed at 10.
14:40What time do you normally go to bed?
14:41About 3 is my mind.
14:42What's that?
14:433 at night time.
14:443 at night time?
14:45I'm afraid there's no way you're going to be able to do that.
14:48You do not want to press those rules.
14:51There is a price to living like this.
14:53It can be fun.
14:54It can be friendly.
14:56It can be nice.
14:57Or it can be healthy.
14:59You can fight us.
15:00And you can fight us.
15:01My children have fought us and we've won.
15:05My favorite saying is, do your worst.
15:08Do your worst.
15:09And we'll see what happens.
15:10And that's all.
15:11You're free to go.
15:12That's it.
15:14That went well.
15:15And so far the issues seem to be minor.
15:16Yes.
15:17But we'll see.
15:18I don't want to sit down to have a wee.
15:19I'm a man.
15:20No way of sitting down.
15:21In the UK, both teens are used to total freedom.
15:24You can see yourself doing all the cleaning up.
15:25And making sure that you do your bed properly, the way you like it.
15:27I'm not going to be able to do it all properly.
15:28I'm not a tidy person.
15:29There's no time to relax and just enjoy yourself and, like, just do what you want to do.
15:30I feel like I'm on a leash.
15:31Mmm.
15:32You know, when we take two hours a day, I'm not going to be able to do it all properly.
15:33I'm not a tidy person.
15:34There's no time to, like, relax and just enjoy yourself and, like, just do what you want
15:55to do.
15:56I feel like I'm on a leash.
15:57Mmm.
15:58It'll only take two...
16:01The one thing we didn't really cover with you guys is drug use.
16:05What is your opinion of people who do them?
16:08All of my friends do them, so I'm not going to...
16:10They do?
16:11I'm not going to say anything.
16:12Have you ever been asked to take any kind of a drug test?
16:15No.
16:16No?
16:17How about you?
16:18Nope.
16:19Okay.
16:20Well, you're going to today because every child that comes into this house and you're not
16:23being singled out.
16:24No.
16:25The only child that comes into this house is drug tested.
16:27The reason is we are a licensed foster home.
16:30Okay?
16:31So if you're not taking, I won't have to worry about you.
16:33We're trying to prevent something from happening.
16:36Prevent good medicine.
16:37Personally, I don't really want to do it because I don't want my mom knowing anything.
16:42It is a standard rule of the house.
16:44Here's the situation.
16:45This is our rule.
16:46If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.
16:49Because I'm going to tell you right now.
16:51It's not just you.
16:53It's not just you.
16:54We need to protect ourselves.
16:57Scott's hard line has upset Tamsin and angered Wesley.
17:01Why can't you just take my words?
17:02I have to.
17:03I'm telling you that I do not do drugs.
17:05The point is that if she is doing or if you are doing and not telling us, please don't
17:11do that.
17:12That's rude.
17:13Yeah.
17:14Everyone is going to smoke.
17:15Okay, fine.
17:16No.
17:17Do not.
17:18But here's the rule of my house.
17:19You're putting words into my mouth.
17:20No.
17:21I do not take drugs.
17:28It's, like, personal stuff and I don't want to open up about it.
17:32I don't want loads of people knowing.
17:34I don't want, like, I don't, like, know them and I don't want them knowing, like, everything.
17:43Tamsin's reaction seemed to be one of guilt.
17:46You cannot have friends that take drugs and expect to remain drug free.
17:51Just a little bit?
17:52Just a double?
17:53Yep.
17:54And, uh, then screw the lid on.
17:55Unscrew the lid before you try and use the cup.
18:00To keep the peace, Wes decides to submit to the test.
18:07Got a little name tag for it.
18:09So, so we all know whose is whose.
18:11That's it?
18:12That's it?
18:13That's all you needed.
18:14That's all I needed.
18:15All of these.
18:16Straight across the board.
18:18Or pink.
18:19Here's what you just accomplished.
18:21Okay?
18:22First of all, I know that you don't do drugs.
18:24Okay?
18:25What's the second thing that I now know?
18:27That you can trust me?
18:28Right.
18:29Bingo.
18:30Trust.
18:31Bingo.
18:32You are the new poster boy for a drug-free England.
18:34Okay?
18:35Now, Tamsin, everyone that comes into my home has some sort of screening.
18:40I don't know how I can make it any clearer to you.
18:43Okay?
18:44Um...
18:45Justin?
18:46Yes?
18:47Did I make you take a drug test?
18:49You didn't make me.
18:50But you did it.
18:51But, uh, yeah.
18:52You know what?
18:53I'll just admit it, yeah.
18:54I've had a major drugs problem.
18:55I've been addicted to drugs, and I'm not proud of it at all.
18:56And I don't want anyone to know, but it's too late now.
18:57You know, Tamsin...
18:58You know, Tamsin...
18:59You know, I didn't...
19:00Joe wants to find out more from Tamsin.
19:01You know, you told me that you dabbled in drugs in the past, and I'm thinking it was more
19:02than dabbling.
19:03I don't want to admit to anything.
19:04I don't want to admit to anything.
19:05You don't want to admit to anything?
19:06You don't want to admit to anything?
19:07No.
19:08It's like...
19:09Things aren't...
19:10You know, I've been addicted to drugs, and I'm not proud of it at all.
19:11And I don't want anyone to know, but it's too late now.
19:12You know, Tamsin...
19:13What?
19:14You know, I can't...
19:15I didn't...
19:16Joe wants to find out more from Tamsin.
19:21You know, you told me that you dabbled in drugs in the past, and I'm thinking it was
19:28more than dabbling.
19:29I don't want to admit to anything.
19:30You don't want to admit to anything?
19:32No.
19:33It's like, things aren't amazing at home, and my mum has so much to deal with.
19:39Yeah.
19:40She knows that I've, like, done it, but, like...
19:42She doesn't maybe know to what extent.
19:43She doesn't really know properly, and she's just been through so much, and had so much
19:48to deal with, and everything to worry about, and it's not till recently that I've started
19:53to realise how much she's been going through, and I just want to make everything easy for
19:58her, and I just don't want her to know.
20:00Well, look, why don't you try and relax, okay?
20:05Tamsin's family troubles began after Dad fell seriously ill.
20:09I think it was 13 or 14 years ago, my dad got kidney failure, and he's been ill ever
20:16since.
20:17Dad is on his third kidney, the latest donated by Tamsin's mum.
20:21You know, I mean, I've had three transplants, and each one of them, all has been there,
20:25the hope that I can spend some time with my children while they're children.
20:29It's been quite tough, him having transplants, always being in hospital, operations going
20:34wrong, and mum being upset.
20:37After I donated a kidney to Matthew, I don't have the energy I used to where I could always
20:43fix everything, always make everything better.
20:45Part of me's always been kind of angry that I've never really had a dad, because he's
20:52been kind of in bed, working, being ill.
20:56That's what I know him for.
20:58I don't like to get in a confrontation on the first day that I meet someone, so I think
21:08perhaps letting this go for a little while, coming back to it later, is what we need to
21:15do.
21:16Good morning.
21:31Rise and shine, sir.
21:33We're going to be checking the place in about 15 minutes, so get yourself up.
21:37In the Lopa Lavelle household, the daily routine starts bright and early.
21:41It is important to get off from a good start, because then you're going to have a good
21:47day.
21:48Pretty good, pretty good.
21:49I'll be in to check it, trust me.
21:53Laying about in bed is not an option.
21:56Good morning!
21:59There!
22:00Oh!
22:01Good morning, sir.
22:03Time to wake up.
22:05There we go, there we go.
22:07Say good morning, Wesley, good morning, Wesley.
22:10There we are.
22:11Oh, yes.
22:12Oh, pug in the morning.
22:14Pug in the morning there.
22:17Now maybe you'll get out of bed.
22:19There, that worked.
22:24Very good girl, Gracie.
22:29Scott used to manage a motel, so breakfast is run like a well-oiled machine.
22:35These are the rules.
22:37Someone is asked to set the table.
22:40Then after dinner, someone clears the table, somebody rinses the dishes, somebody washes
22:44pots and pans.
22:45I've never done chores.
22:46Never do chores.
22:47You don't.
22:48You don't do chores.
22:49Who does the chores at your house?
22:50Me, mom.
22:51Your mom.
22:52Does your mother work?
22:53Mm-hmm.
22:54Do you work?
22:55Mm-hmm.
22:56Do you manage about the house all day while your mother does everything?
22:58Basically, yeah.
22:59Boy, would that make me angry.
23:01I've got to tell you, if you don't have a job, who pays for everything you do?
23:05My mom pays for everything.
23:07She pays for everything?
23:08Yeah.
23:09Wow.
23:10He is a big kid.
23:11He's 19 chronologically, but a lot of the attitudes that I hear from his mouth are those that
23:19I would expect to hear from a 15-year-old child.
23:23With Tamsin's admission of frequent drug use back home, Scott and Joe have decided that
23:28she must remain in the house under close supervision. They have other plans for work-shy Wesley.
23:37You need to learn what it is that people do to earn the money that you're so eager to take
23:45and spend without contributing.
23:48All right.
23:50I see. You're ready.
23:52Joe believes that holding down a job teaches teenagers how to become responsible adults.
24:00What's all the kids doing back at home?
24:02Oh, we're going to have all kinds of fun.
24:05I thought we would lounge about on the couch and we might watch Manchester United.
24:12Wes is starting work at the Irma Deli, a traditional diner run with a strong American work ethic.
24:19Most staff here do a 10-hour shift with only short breaks.
24:23Hi, I'm Fred. I'm the owner, Fred.
24:26What's your name, Wesley?
24:28Self-made man, Frederick Todd, owns the diner.
24:31Fred will do.
24:32Fred will do.
24:33What's that?
24:34I've never worked, really.
24:35You've never worked?
24:36No.
24:37Really?
24:38What are you, rich?
24:39No.
24:41All right.
24:42Well, come on back here.
24:43All right.
24:44Come on back.
24:45See you later.
24:46Good luck.
24:47Okay.
24:48Have a great day.
24:49Okay.
24:50Leslie has never worked before, so...
24:52Okay.
24:53Just give me some basic information here so we can...
24:54Paul, the manager, tells Wes what's expected of an employee.
24:58Okay.
24:59The business we're in is creating the best experience we can for people.
25:04And we have zero to none little tolerance for allowing anyone to interrupt that.
25:09The food service business is probably one of the hardest businesses there is in this country.
25:13Mentally, physically, and everything above.
25:16I'll be right back.
25:17Okay.
25:21I'm very nervous.
25:24Big guys as well, big guys.
25:26So I can't, like, charm my way out of it.
25:30This is where you'll check in.
25:32Today, Wes begins with a four-hour shift.
25:35This is my office here.
25:37In case we have to lock you up or anything.
25:39All right.
25:40This time card slips under this red arrow here.
25:42You're now officially started.
25:46Hi.
25:51Aw.
25:52I could tell, buddy.
25:53Wes is starting his working life at the bottom.
25:58Cleaning the toilets.
25:59Oh, I didn't float.
26:01Oh, it's not even going away.
26:02Stink.
26:04They better be all working at home.
26:23Like cleaning out other people's piss and shit.
26:25It's just not pleasant.
26:26It's not a pleasant job to do.
26:28I thought I'd be just doing a lot of fun activities.
26:39But I'm stuck here cleaning toilets.
26:41He told me you had life pretty good at home, you know.
26:42I'm from just the opposite background, you know.
26:43I come from a house where you had to work.
26:44I was working at 12.
26:45So, um, my work ethic's a little different than his.
26:46Sorry about this.
26:47Tamsin has been kept at home by Joe and Scott.
26:48They want some answers about her drug use.
26:50What have you experimented with?
26:51MEOW, which is the drug that I've been doing.
26:52They sell as plant fertiliser.
26:53Well, you can't sell it in shops, but they pass it off as plant fertiliser.
26:54They don't sell it in shops, but they pass it off as plant fertiliser.
26:55They don't sell it in shops, but they pass it off as plant fertiliser.
26:56So they can sell it.
26:57Plant fertiliser?
26:58Yes.
26:59It's not actually plant fertiliser.
27:02Is it something involved?
27:03Is it something yours?
27:04Sorry about this.
27:05Tamsin has been kept at home by Joe and Scott.
27:07They want some answers about her drug use.
27:13What have you experimented with?
27:14MEOW, which is the drug that I've been doing.
27:19Well, you can't sell it in shops, but they pass it off as plant fertiliser.
27:22So they can sell it.
27:23Plant fertiliser?
27:24It's not it's not actually palm fertilizer. What is it?
27:27I don't know you're putting something into your body, and you have no clue what it is. Yeah
27:34Why would you do that?
27:37What kind of an effect does it give you like ecstasy makes you just happy and
27:43Up yeah, it seems to me though that with this meow meow. I don't think Tamsin is happy doing that
27:51Meow meow is the nickname for class B stimulant methadron
27:57Legal until April 2010 it's popular amongst Tamsin's age group
28:07Every everyone is taking it like 14 year olds at schools are sitting there taking it
28:14Don't need it to have a good night, but makes my more interesting
28:19The insane person is coming to get us, and he's going to kill us
28:25No, he won't kill us scared of me
28:30Tamsin's drug use is a major barrier between her and her parents
28:35I do try and have discussions with her but Tamsin is very
28:39Adamant she just completely blocks me and says I do not take drugs. I am not
28:43For example, and so I can't go any further in a discussion about what things could mean without her getting quite cross with me
28:51The dads are slowly getting Tamsin to open up, but the concern she doesn't talk to anyone at home
28:58We talked about an open line of communication with our kids. Have you ever?
29:03Have you ever sat your mother down and said in a calm rational fashion or did you yell?
29:09No, I cried
29:11There has to be someone that you trust enough to help you
29:15I don't trust anyone fully
29:17Honey, it's through talking
29:20That you're going to figure out the answers
29:22You're going to figure out the answers. It's through talking
29:24I can't talk about it. It just hurts me so much to talk about it
29:28If Tamsin can let down her barriers
29:32and sit down with her mom and discuss this
29:36with the idea that her mom isn't going to condemn her
29:40I think that really is the point. I think she's afraid of being condemned
29:44Disturbed by Tamsin's ignorance of what she's taking
29:48Scott and Joe decide to do their own research on meow meow
29:52It's intended effects for recreational use are similar to those derived from speed, ecstasy, and cocaine
29:59It is thought to be used by children as young as nine
30:03Side effects are thought to include
30:06Nosebleeds
30:08Burning mouth and throat
30:10Headaches
30:11Nausea
30:12High blood pressure
30:14Teeth grinding
30:15Joint pain
30:16Cold or blue fingers
30:18Anxiety
30:19Panic attacks
30:20Agitation
30:21Paranoia
30:22Heart palpitations
30:23Insomnia
30:24Weight loss
30:26And memory problems
30:28Now after reading that paragraph
30:32I don't think I'd be ordering any of this stuff
30:42Back at the deli
30:43Wes has been moved off toilet duty
30:45I'm taking a shine to waitress britney
30:52It is outro
30:54Thatρα's what you need to do
30:55For me to hold your dad
30:55I'm going to be a dad
30:56It's going to be a dad
30:57He's going to go to my dad
30:57I am going to be a dad
30:58I am going to be a dad
30:59So why are you over here
31:02For me to go to me
31:02Basically I need to earn responsibility and grow up
31:05and grow up because I'm going to be a dad you're going to be a dad yeah I'm
31:11gonna have a daughter well congratulations I take it you're not
31:17even with the girl but I feel like you just gotta like deal with it so I'm
31:22happy the way that I live now and like I don't want to change it because I enjoy
31:27enjoy life and stuff and I feel like because with this responsibility and
31:31stuff it's responsible in other ways when you were out partying if you aren't
31:38partying so hard you would have remembered you can't blame her she told
31:46me she couldn't get pregnant Britney is not falling for Wesley's
31:51mancunian charm I just feel as a person if you don't respect your ex-girlfriend
31:57and the situation that you're in yeah no other girls ever going to respect you
32:01yeah and I wouldn't date you because I feel like you wouldn't respect me like
32:06what if something happened with me you'd be the same way you know what I mean like
32:11you don't respect the situation you're in so you're a fiery one aren't you
32:15well looks like my sex life is over shit the reality of being a working man is wearing thin I can't take no more I can't do no more I don't have the energy
32:32exhausted Wes finishes his shift
32:41back at the house Scott is taking Tamsin under his wing it's not real hard trust
32:46me if you can play a cello you can drive a car and he has a plan to try and break
32:52down Tamsin's barriers so when you want to stop break but you don't want to put
32:59slam on the way you don't want to slam on the break because if you slam on the
33:02break I'm going through the windshield and I don't want to go through the
33:05windshield today okay start the car okay put this in drive okay there you go
33:17you're driving okay it's okay okay now you want to stay on the road stay on the
33:23road it's a locked wall that she's put herself behind and by doing one-on-one
33:30activities with her it's someone showing an interest in her that's very important
33:37okay okay and you always look behind you go slow slow slow put your foot on the
33:41break honey you're gonna hit a tree up stop stop okay that's okay just get it around
33:47nope you went too much you went too much honey okay there perfect that's driving
33:55you did it though didn't you yeah yeah see and I'm gonna go take some blood pressure medicine
34:03I have a little question a little favor to ask you what would you think if uh because of
34:15everything that you and I have gone through this week and everything that we've done
34:18um how would you feel about giving your mom a call and talking to your mom for a few minutes
34:26and I think she'd like to hear from you and I think that would be good if you called your mom
34:31you know you just talk to her talk to your mom yeah okay the purpose of giving a driving lesson
34:38to Tamsin was I was showing her I trust her I trusted her with my prized possession my car
34:48Scott believes that if he trusts Tamsin Tamsin will learn to trust him
34:54four four hi is this Mrs. Cole hi Mrs. Cole this is Scott Loper how lovely to hear you I just want
35:03to say thank you so so much for doing this oh you're quite welcome I've got a little surprise
35:07for you and here she is okay thank you hello Tamsin hi hello darling I'm fine how are you I'm good what
35:16guys what are you doing oh I'm just all excited because I'm speaking to you okay Tams so tell
35:23me what what have you got to tell me how's it going fine do you want to tell me some things
35:29what's wrong what's wrong this is call has she has she gone yes she ran off
35:40she's hung up and gone off Tamsin yeah what happened I just can't do this honey open the
35:50door for me oh come on don't do this please I wanted you to just talk to her and say hi to her
36:00but she asked me so what have you got to say to me
36:04there's no helping her if she if she can't get through she can't get past she cannot get past
36:24the wall she's built around herself although Tamsin is unwilling to talk to her mom Scott refuses to
36:35give up it's a blame game you're blaming each other that's why I said you what you simply need
36:41to say to her is I I need you to forgive me I need to forgive you and then you open a door of
36:51communication with her and there is no you're a drug addict and you're this and you're that and
36:58well okay I'm a drug addict but what are you do you understand because really it's not like you
37:06committed murder people make mistakes we're not infallible we screw up I think it's really important
37:14that they're not kind of being angry or anything like that and they're just helping because it kind
37:20of makes you not hate yourself through it I was hoping that Tamsin would be able to say to her
37:29mother you know I have problems that I want your help that's what I was hoping she would say but Tamsin
37:39didn't today Wesley has decided to tell Scott and Joe the real reason why he's been sent to America
38:03found out like a couple of months ago like that I'm gonna be a dad you're gonna be a dad yeah so
38:17are you looking forward to being a father not really not really just trying to push it to one
38:24side and just not think about it and just think about myself and have a good time you don't want
38:28to think about it but you know what I can't imagine a bigger responsibility than being a father to
38:37someone I know but I feel like at this age that I shouldn't have any responsibilities because I can't
38:43even look after myself so let alone my kid my feeling really is you've done this then you need
38:49to figure out and step up and become a man the best thing to think about now is what is the child's
38:56future going to be but I haven't chose it though well you did by having sexual intercourse without proper
39:03protection you did choose it in a family made up of adopted kids Wes's attitude has not gone down
39:09well kind of makes me angry because if you don't take responsibility there's a lot of stuff that can
39:15happen to your kid and it can ruin people's lives especially that kid he doesn't take any responsibility
39:21for his actions he doesn't take any responsibility apparently for anything at all and that kind of
39:29attitude really isn't going to wash not not with us and certainly not with the future baby it's Wesley's
39:42second day at the diner with Joe's words ringing in his ears he started to knuckle down where would you
39:53need a bin his improved attitude has not gone unnoticed listen what we're gonna do now is recognize
40:03that real pleased with your attention to detail and initiatives and things that you that I've asked
40:10you to do so what we've decided to do is take the balance of the day and and promote you to engaging with
40:17customers so look at this this is something that you've earned all right boss all right congratulations
40:24thank you gosh yeah today's got a lot better now it's something I've always wanted to do so I want
40:32to see if you've been any good at it promoted to waiter Wes needs to maintain a high standard of service oh
40:38hello yeah all right I'm okay thanks um what would you all like to drink a Coke and same water water
40:50does a little one want a drink yeah she's fine all right do you want it from the fountain or the case
40:54all right okay I think you did really good really good for the first time and they get refills
41:02yes free refills all right we're gonna take these out all right take it back out to the guy in the
41:08green shirt and I'll be right back there you go sir you're doing a fine job cheers thank you thanks
41:13it's been a big jump you know from like cleaning bins to um being out of front and interacting with
41:20people and taking their orders it's good when someone throws something at you and you've not done
41:24it before and you have to step up your game and you have to just go straight into it and you have to
41:30just forget about the nerves and stuff and then try your best and I've enjoyed it yeah it's been good
41:35there you go thank you there you go and enjoy thank you all right oh they're in got that part down
41:47got that part down okay boss good having you brilliant I hope the experience was good for you
41:54yeah I've loved it every minute of it your wages oh thanks very much enjoy yourself enjoy the rest of your
42:00visit in the country oh brilliant thanks for letting us come and work with you I really enjoy myself
42:0530 50 70 80 85 86 dollars I feel like an adult I really do like I feel like you know this is
42:15something that you need today instead of blowing away and getting pissed and stuff like I want to put
42:20it to take a good juice and buy something which I'll feel good about and be proud of quality
42:31Scott and Tamsin have headed downtown for some quality time together
42:39we're doing a little father-daughter type of thing oh that's wonderful and then I'm going to tickle her later
42:48my daughter and I used to do this all the time you know what this is a nice time because it's quiet
42:52now it's your mom that's from Australia right yeah okay and is it so now your dad is from England
42:58I think it's 13 or 14 years ago my dad got kidney failure wow wow that's gotta be a horrible horrible
43:08thing to go through did you see a change when he went on the medication and all um when he had the
43:13last transplant yeah his face just swelled up a lot yeah he's had it before the transplant before
43:19yeah he's had three so I guess he can't work or anything again he's been working the whole time
43:24but he's better now my mom gave him a kidney in February I imagine it's really really stressful
43:28yeah on your mom they say that it's also recuperation time is a lot longer when you give
43:36one than when you actually are getting one yeah it was weird having them both ill because I'm not used
43:40to it my mom never you were in the house didn't you I know what was your childhood like my childhood
43:47was different a lot different than yours I was adopted badly badly treated I was
43:54burned I had my jaw broken with a lead pipe and what saved me was I told I told what was going on
44:03and I was put into a national registry and I ended up here gave my parents a lot of grief for a long
44:12time but my parents stuck by me and they still stick by me I love my mom my mom was very dear to me
44:18that's why with your mom talk to your mom you have no idea you have no idea
44:24you have no idea
44:27I just feel bad that I've taken it all for granted and not appreciated them enough and not said thank you
44:37enough for them being there and supporting me through everything and every decision that I've made
44:41with only a few months until the birth of his baby Joe has a special job for Wes we're going to go down
44:55to one of the neighbors homes they have some odd jobs and chores that they would like you to take care of
45:01for them and I told them that you given your newfound work ethic would be thrilled
45:07well everyone else seems to be having fun fun yeah don't you hate that yeah you know what that's called
45:14adult responsibility all right yeah yeah it's the new you Wes
45:21hi how are you I'm Andrea I actually asked you to come over so you can help me with my son
45:28he is 14 months old and his name's Trey so these are all his toys and so I'm actually going to make
45:36them lunch if you could keep them occupied for a minute yeah go get it go on go on
45:48what's that you got there oh what about something put together yeah I'm just overwhelmed is he's a
45:59really cute kid and stuff yeah look at that chicks dig me yeah so you kind of just give him a spoonful
46:16and he'll open up oh don't worry if the bib gets messy or his mouth gets messy that's part of the whole thing
46:24you like yogurt yeah look at that whoa so I hear that you're gonna have a baby soon yeah I am yeah
46:34got him three months three months wow so it's scary stuff yeah it is it's scary but it's exciting
46:40I know this one's a really nice kids yeah look we're done oh good job all gone it's good fun yeah yeah
46:52wow wow it's like seeing him pick up the drink and like running around and it's just a little
47:05little little person really it's just nice nice feeling it is
47:12just hit me just like just seeing my pick up his own bottle and smiling away with his little self
47:30just hit me just like just seeing my pick up his own bottle and smiling away with his little self
47:41and I'll be mean a few years time so it's all right that's just what I do best I can be a good dad
47:50so not wanting to be a part of my daughter's life at the beginning and stuff I'm just thinking about
47:58myself and that and just selfish and I feel guilty and the baby's mom feel guilty and my family and that and
48:08I feel guilty because I could have done a lot more from day one and could have been there and be more
48:15part of things and I'm just just grateful that it's it's you know not too late
48:25Wes decides to go shopping with his hard-earned dollars for once he's spending his cash on someone other
48:34than himself good luck with your daughter and enjoy her because guess what they grow fast real quick
48:48cheers thanks for everything thank you thank you good traveling good luck to you
49:03the British teenagers time in New Jersey has come to an end I truly hope that Wesley will be a good dad
49:10I think he realizes now that he needs to put aside his immaturity and get on about being a man
49:17hopefully I see you all soon yeah the family's just amazing and just full of joy they've been through so
49:23much you just know how to work as a team and be together and be there for each other and help out
49:27but Scott has an unexpected proposal for Tamron my fear is that within three hours of Tamzin returning
49:42home she'll have her mom driver to Brighton and she'll be with her friends and it will start all
49:48over again the drugs the partying and nothing has been accomplished because Tamzin is going to do
49:54whatever Tamzin can do to run away now I called you in here for a reason how would you feel about
50:03staying here for a couple more weeks with me I'd love to would you yeah we would love to have you stay
50:12I'm going to teach you to communicate with your mom and your dad I promised you last night I would be
50:18behind you you're kind of like mine yeah oh hi mom may I stay in America for a little bit longer
50:28Tamlin of course you can will you promise to stay in touch with me darling I'll call you like every day
50:33okay that sounds good to me as long as you don't cry well I'm trying not to okay dad and I just want
50:39you to know we love you dearly I love you all very much if you can talk to me you can talk to her
50:46thank you so much you're welcome honey it is going to be hard I'm going to miss home a lot but it's
50:53needed to stay here because I do need a bit more time and I'm really glad I've been given the opportunity
51:01can't believe I'm not going home with you I'm going to miss you this is it don't party too hard
51:14don't party too hard
51:16I won't
51:18suitcase go in the back or the side in the back
51:21John Scarvey inspired me I want to be the best dad I can be
51:24I think you're amazing you're both amazing honestly
51:28you'll be a good boy
51:30thank you
51:31you're brilliant that's absolutely brilliant
51:33you know what you're going to be a brilliant dad too
51:45John Scott just helped me by just being there and just guiding me and just
51:49giving me good advice
51:50they're very blunt and you know
51:52saying how it is and what's going to happen and they've just made me more prepared
51:58fun
52:08hi mum
52:09oh mum I miss you
52:11I miss you
52:12aww
52:13oh these are beautiful proper American clothes
52:16aw that's cute
52:17aw these are gorgeous
52:18so did you get satisfaction of actually buying this out of your own money that you actually have
52:21I did I wanted to
52:22I wanted to.
52:24So you've learnt a lot from it then?
52:25I really have actually, really have.
52:26Within a week? Honestly, really, honestly.
52:29It was there in the back of my head,
52:31but I just needed pushing.
52:35Two weeks later, and Tamsyn is finally ready to head home.
52:40It's really nice of you to call.
52:41Yeah.
52:42Tamsyn has been in daily contact with her mum and dad.
52:45Have you turned into a cookie monster now?
52:47Yeah.
52:48I've definitely learnt a lot about being honest
52:53and communicating with my mum.
52:54Because I'm wonderful and I got you to talk.
52:57Aww.
52:58Aww.
52:59If you can get a child to trust you enough to talk to you,
53:02that's the key.
53:03You have to make them feel safe,
53:05and you have to make them feel that
53:07you're not going to condemn them for what they've done.
53:10I feel really positive about everything.
53:12I just...
53:13I don't know, I feel like I've finally got my life on the track
53:16and I feel so much happier because...
53:19I know that when I go home, I'm not going to be sad
53:21because I'm going to be able to have a relationship
53:23with my family that I haven't heard before.
53:25I just want to make my mum proud of me.
53:27I've got an amazing family.
53:30And I just shouldn't treat them like shit
53:32or take it for granted.
53:34Tamsyn will not be travelling alone.
53:37Am I looking forward to going to England?
53:40Uh...
53:42Hell yeah.
53:45Take care.
53:46Take good care of Tamsyn.
53:48Tell Tamsyn's mum and dad I say hi, alright?
53:50Oh, sweetheart.
53:52Goodbye.
54:01It's been three weeks since Tamsyn walked away
54:04from her mum at the airport.
54:16Done.
54:17Oh, it's a pleasure.
54:18Thank you so much for everything.
54:19Aww.
54:20It's a pleasure.
54:21Thank you so much for everything.
54:22Aww.
54:23Tamsyn is finally able to face her mother
54:28and tell her the truth.
54:30I know that when I was taking drugs,
54:45my behaviour at home was changing a lot.
54:48But it was just because I was just having fun
54:52and the bad side of it I was taking out on you
54:57and I am really sorry for that.
55:00And I do realise now what it did to me.
55:04And I'm never going to take me out again.
55:08That's a big relief to hear.
55:11I love you.
55:13And I'm really proud you're my daughter as well.
55:15Sorry for you so much.
55:16And I'm sorry it's been hard for you.
55:18Hearing Tamsyn talk about having taken drugs
55:21is a relief to hear really
55:23because then suddenly everything completely slots into place
55:26and makes sense.
55:27I am so proud of you.
55:34The stuff that she made today was monumental.
55:37For her to be able to say,
55:40this is who I am, this is what I've been doing,
55:43really showed a lot of guts.
55:45You did that on your hand.
55:47You did.
55:48You did that on your hand.
55:49Aww, don't cry.
55:56You did that on your hand.
55:57You did that on your hand.
55:58But I'm not sure if I was going to be able to say,
55:59I'm sorry.
56:00I want you to tell you.
56:01You can tell me the other way that happened.
56:02I can tell you what happened.
56:03You did that on your hand.
56:05You did that on your hand.
56:06You'll be able to make your hand.
56:07I can tell you that I worked on your hand.
56:08I'm going to say here on your hand.
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