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The loss of grandpa has the kids acting out: the twins fight aggressively with each other, they talk back, and are defiant! What's your Supernanny all-time favorite episode?
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00:00So this week I'm in Indiana. Let's take a look at the family that needs my help.
00:07Hi, we're the Addis family. I'm Leslie. I'm Tony, and we have four kids.
00:14We have twin boys, Jonah and Jonathan, who are almost six.
00:18Eden, who's four, and Elijah, who's almost two.
00:22I'm a technical consultant. My hours are generally Monday through Friday, eight to five.
00:27And I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I'm here with the kids all day.
00:34One of my biggest issues is the temper tantrums.
00:42They're getting big enough that they're hard to manage.
00:46I find myself a lot of days just giving up and throwing in the towel.
00:50Jonah, sit.
00:53The twins get physical with me.
00:55Yeah, on your wall.
00:57They will hit and kick me.
01:00You are in time. Out.
01:01And so I just try to get away from them.
01:05Eden is our little princess.
01:08Eden has gotten incredibly defiant.
01:13She just does not want to cooperate.
01:16Look at this little girl.
01:18She has everybody running to her beck and call.
01:21Not good for her, not good for them.
01:22Elijah can cause a lot of problems.
01:28Hey, Elijah, no, don't.
01:30Knock it over.
01:32As well as the kids, my mom lives with us.
01:34Good job.
01:35About six months ago, my dad tragically died.
01:38We were boating, and he was out on a jet ski.
01:42He had fallen off, and he ended up bleeding under his skull.
01:47And so the kids saw us trying to perform CPR.
01:50It was just very, very hard for the kids.
01:57I have noticed behavior changes in them since Dad died.
02:01Everything just seems amplified.
02:02And so any aggressive behavior they had before seems really heightened now.
02:07Children digest death very differently to adults.
02:13Sometimes it gets very overwhelming.
02:15As a matter of fact, it's hard for me not to start off feeling overwhelmed.
02:19Please don't act like me.
02:20So there's a lot of things that I don't do.
02:23I don't get to the grocery store because I can't get there with all of them.
02:27And it's hard.
02:30Super Nanny, we really need your help.
02:34Please come help our family now.
02:37Okay, guys, bear with me.
02:38I know there's a lot to sort out, but I'm on my way.
02:49Hello.
02:50Hi.
02:51Jo.
02:51Leslie.
02:52Hi.
02:52Nice to meet you.
02:53Knowing that she was coming in to watch me was unnerving.
02:57Should we close the door here?
03:00This is my mom, Nina.
03:02Hi.
03:02Pleased to meet you.
03:03This is my husband, Tony.
03:05Hi, Tony.
03:06Pleased to meet you.
03:07The Addis family have four children.
03:09Jonah and Jonathan, who are twins and six years old.
03:13Eden, who is almost five years old.
03:16And little Elijah, who is two years old.
03:18Just show me what you would do in an ordinary day if I wasn't here.
03:21So I can observe as much as possible.
03:23Just please carry on.
03:24All right.
03:25I guess we'll see what happens here.
03:28Okay.
03:29As soon as I started to observe the family, I noticed that Elijah was very tired and he
03:37started to pitch a fit.
03:39I see Leslie as being very much a young girl still.
03:43She hasn't really stepped up to the realm of being this mature woman who is a mother of
03:48four children.
03:48What?
03:49Ow!
03:50You can see the dependency still on her mother, Charity, and how she takes care of the whole
04:01nest.
04:02They are all going through such severe grief at the moment.
04:15Rick's death was a sudden shock, and he died at such a relatively young age.
04:23I mean, it's understandable that it's made such an impact on this family.
04:26A big part of us is so concerned about the kids remembering my husband and their pappy.
04:42To watch charity with Elijah upstairs was definitely a place where you just kind of felt she's
05:01feeling, she's really feeling it.
05:04She doesn't want Elijah to kind of forget who he is, but the reality is he's so young and I just don't want
05:19Elijah to grow up feeling like he's conditioned to kiss photos if he wants candy.
05:26Peppy loves you too.
05:27Peppy loves you too.
05:28It was a tricky situation to be in for me to, you know, to see that.
05:32So it's got to be dealt with very sensitively and very directly too.
05:40We're good.
05:41Okay.
05:42Okay.
05:43Okay.
05:44Eden, go brush your teeth.
05:47Go brush your teeth.
05:49The children were asked to brush their teeth, and Eden made a really big fuss about it.
05:54Go brush your teeth.
05:56And she didn't want to go into the bathroom at all.
06:01She just absolutely refused.
06:04I have a tendency to try to reason with them, and that is not always the best solution.
06:12Hey, look at me.
06:13Look at me.
06:14Right here.
06:15Eyes.
06:16What color are my eyes?
06:17What color are my eyes?
06:18Look at me.
06:19Green.
06:20Blue.
06:21Okay.
06:22Tony continuously asked them to look into his eyes all the time.
06:26I'm up here.
06:27Look at me.
06:28My eyes are right up here.
06:29Hold those up here by my eyes if you have to.
06:31Look at my eyes.
06:32It just doesn't work.
06:34Are you seeing me?
06:35So Tony finally gets Eden to the sink, and it's a standoff.
06:41You ready to brush your teeth?
06:44She crossed her hands.
06:45She certainly didn't want to brush her teeth, and she made a big riot about it.
06:51Mom!
06:53Mom!
06:54When Eden gets to that point, I feel just completely out of control.
06:59I just know it's going to not end well.
07:02I want Mommy to do it!
07:05You want Mommy to do what?
07:08And then I got a very clear opportunity to see exactly how the three, meaning Tony, Leslie,
07:15and Charity, discipline Eden when she's disrespectful and doesn't want to do as she's been told.
07:21They do nothing.
07:22Mommy, you pressed it!
07:25Sorry.
07:26I don't, you don't do it like that!
07:32Well, it started out that we had disciplined children.
07:35It's just, it's just unraveled over time.
07:38Mom!
07:41So from the time they asked Eden to go upstairs and brush her teeth to the time she actually did brush her teeth,
07:48It was way over an hour, and I realized that Eden may possibly be stubborn whilst I was there.
08:01Do you need a fork or anything, or is that good enough for you?
08:04Hmm.
08:05So lunchtime calls in.
08:07Put your banana right here, and it'll be like a taste.
08:10No.
08:11And they sit there eating their peanut butter sandwiches, and then I look at the table and I see sippy cups.
08:18How many sippy cups do you need in a house where there's only one two-year-old?
08:22I mean, to me, that's just absolutely crazy.
08:25These kids are more than capable of drinking out of a cup.
08:27So why sippy cups?
08:29When I was a baby, I had to take that small of a bite.
08:33You did?
08:34Are you a baby still?
08:35Uh-uh.
08:36Why are you taking that small of a bite?
08:38There are children who are almost six years old eating like babies.
08:42So I hear Grandma tell Mum that Jonah is calling for her.
08:49Hey, are you done?
08:50Do you need me to wipe you?
08:53Jonah, do you need me to wipe you?
08:56I can't do it.
08:57OK.
08:58All right.
08:59Do you realise that Jonah is calling for Mum because he wants her to wipe his bottom?
09:05This boy is six years old.
09:08Wash your hands.
09:10OK.
09:11I mean, what's going on in this house?
09:22Later on in the afternoon, Mum and the kids spent some time doing crafts.
09:26Here you go.
09:27Mum gave Eden a sticker that was on Jonathan's monkey to her by accident.
09:33And he wasn't happy with that.
09:35I have no idea.
09:38I have no idea.
09:39Oh, you know what?
09:40I didn't know it was her heart ear and I gave it to Eden to put on her monkey.
09:45I didn't know it was yours.
09:48I accidentally gave Eden Jonathan's sticker because it had fallen off of the monkey.
09:55I'm sorry.
09:57Honey, I didn't mean to do that.
09:59Jonathan.
10:00I'm sorry, Eden.
10:02We accidentally put Jonathan's heart sticker on your monkey.
10:06Can I take it off and put something else on your monkey's belly?
10:11It's ruined.
10:12I kind of was hoping that she would just say, OK, but she did not want any part of that.
10:18Can we do that for Jonathan, please?
10:21Daddy?
10:22No.
10:23So I just felt kind of trapped.
10:25Like, no matter what I did, whether I corrected my mistake or whether I didn't,
10:30somebody was going to be very unhappy.
10:33So now what?
10:34I don't know what to do.
10:35You don't know what to do with the stars and the monkey noses.
10:40It's either way.
10:41I feel like I lose.
10:42She tells me that she feels guilty because one of the kids are going to be upset over the decision she's made.
10:47That's life.
10:48Eden, can we please give him the heart, nose, and I'll put this heart that mommy drew on your lipstick.
10:56That I find myself sometimes trying to please all of the kids.
11:00What if we found a phone sticker?
11:01No.
11:02Ah!
11:03Phone!
11:04I don't want a phone!
11:06You're not going to keep all your kids happy 24-7.
11:10But you get on and you deal with it.
11:15There's no doubt when I walked into this house that it was obvious that all of you as a family are undergoing a griefing process.
11:34Your father-in-law, your husband passed away all but six months ago.
11:39You are all going through that grieving process.
11:44It's having its ups and downs.
11:46Because grief will throw you upside down in every which way it can.
11:51And I can tell you that from personal experience losing my mother.
11:57Yesterday, Charity, I saw little Elijah and he said, Candy, as we're upstairs, he said Candy.
12:05And he kissed the photos of Grandpa and then you gave him Candy.
12:10If Grandma gives Elijah Candy because Grandma has earned the right to give him Candy and it's okay, let it be for that.
12:20I never put the two together, the candy. It was just, um, Rick had a candy jar and gave the kids candy out of it. So I was trying, because he's not going to be able to.
12:35You know, that that's all part of the process of you personally grieving.
12:42He's not going to be there for the first Christmas, the first birthday, the first Annabelle, you know.
12:48I hear you. It's true.
12:55What I wanted to talk about was that as much as there is a grieving process going on, at the same time, I am here because there are issues that do need to be addressed with regards to the kids.
13:10Let's start off with Eden. Eden really shows me that she has been allowed by the adults in her life to be able to have what she wants, when she wants, however she wants.
13:25So it's important for Eden to understand she must give a level of respect, but at the same time respect the rules that are in the house and the authority of her parents.
13:36Otherwise, you're going to have a nightmare on your hands. You really are.
13:43But what I want to talk about also is allowing the kids to use the cups that they should be for their own age.
13:51I was quite shocked to see the twins with the zippy cups. The zippy cup, they're six years old. What are they doing with zippy cups?
13:57I think there is a lot of things they should be doing that they're not doing.
14:00I agree that I think a six year old should be able to wipe their own butt, you know.
14:03They're more than capable. You know, how do they learn if you're not going to give them the chance?
14:12The lack of management I'm seeing here, Lesley, when it comes to the kids.
14:18This sense of not being confident to make the right move because you don't know what the outcome's going to be leads you in a place of constantly feeling like you're failing all the time.
14:30Up until now, you've had your mother call those shots. But at what point do you stand on your own two feet and raise the bar as an adult and say, I've got to learn myself?
14:44It is hard for me to make a decision because I am afraid I'm going to make a mistake. And I feel like mom has been there and done that and made some mistakes and learned from those. So I do try to ask her opinion a lot.
14:58To not make a decision is to not take any responsibility or to be opinionated with what you feel or how you feel your kids should be raised.
15:10A lot has been said today at the table with regards to the issues that we need to get through. And I am very, very enthusiastic to get working with all of you.
15:22So do I have a family on board? Yes.
15:25Yes.
15:26All right, so let's get to work because there's much to be done. Much to be done. Thank you.
15:31On my first day, I wanted to focus on parental skills because the children's behaviour is getting confused with the family's grieving process.
15:50The first step was to ask grandma to leave so that Leslie wouldn't be dependent on her help so that she could just stand up on her own.
15:58I am going to run out and get a pedicure.
16:00OK. OK. You have fun.
16:02Leslie definitely needs to feel the sense of responsibility and independence. But she has that crutch and that's her mother. And to a degree, it's been a godsend and a knot because it's made her slightly lazy and dependent on her mother.
16:17Come on and bye. I'll be back in a little bit, OK? Bye.
16:20I love you.
16:24With grandma gone, it was time to get these kids to back their age and wipe their own bottoms.
16:31And right away, Eden gave me the chance to show mum exactly how.
16:36Oh, this is great.
16:37Yes, Eden.
16:38Oh, this is good.
16:39What was that?
16:40Is she old enough to wipe herself after she poops?
16:42Oh, yeah.
16:43We've got a five-year-old who's struggling to wipe her own bottom.
16:48I just thought that was crazy.
16:50OK, this is what you want to do.
16:52Don't wipe her bottom.
16:53She's got to learn to do it herself, OK?
16:55OK.
16:56Go in there, OK?
16:57And then tell her what to do.
16:58OK.
16:59All right?
17:00What I would do as well is that I would keep some, like, wet wipes as well.
17:03There are some in there.
17:04Great. All right, let's go and do it.
17:05All right.
17:06Come out and tell me that you haven't done it, OK?
17:08She needs to learn to do it herself.
17:09OK.
17:10Mommy.
17:11Yes, Eden.
17:12I wasn't taking you so long.
17:14Had Mum in the bathroom teaching Eden how to take care of herself on her own accord,
17:19which was quite funny, actually, listening to her through that door.
17:23I don't want to wipe.
17:26I'm going to teach you how to wipe.
17:29Now pull out one wipe.
17:31Remember front to back.
17:33OK.
17:34I'm often asked, when should a child wipe their own bottom?
17:38Typically between three and four years old, and Eden's almost five years old, so she's
17:43way overdue.
17:44Do you know how many American houses I've been into where the kids don't wipe their own
17:48butt?
17:49It's quite interesting.
17:51You know, you want to make sure they're clean and you want to make sure, you know,
17:54they've got good hygiene and they're taking care of themselves, but sometimes you don't
17:58think they're ready to do that, so you're just doing it for them.
18:01Good job.
18:02Good job, Eden.
18:04Good job.
18:05She said, I can't believe I wiped myself.
18:12Want some milk?
18:14After the tutorial on wiping bottoms, it was now time to address these six-year-old boys
18:19drinking out of zippy cups.
18:21And I knew the solution would be simple.
18:23Get rid of those cups, put in regular cups, and let them feel like big boys.
18:26Okay.
18:27I just honestly misjudged what they're actually capable of doing.
18:32They work well.
18:33Do they work well?
18:34There's going to be a few spills here and there, but I soon learn.
18:39Whoa!
18:40Whoa!
18:41All right.
18:42All right.
18:43Sit down.
18:44That means you, too.
18:45In the evening, Dad and Grandma are going to eat.
18:47They're going to eat.
18:48They're going to eat.
18:49They're going to eat.
18:50They're going to eat.
18:51They're going to eat.
18:52They're going to eat.
18:53They're going to eat.
18:54They're going to eat.
18:55That evening, Dad and Grandma came home, and dinner turned out to be a complete disaster.
19:00Eden, you need to eat two of your carrots, and then you can eat your bread.
19:05Eden decided that she didn't want to eat any of her vegetables, and so there was this complete protest.
19:12Okay.
19:13Here.
19:14Okay.
19:15You know what?
19:16Look at my eyes.
19:17Stop the complaining.
19:19Right now.
19:20This is your...
19:21Hey.
19:22This is your warning.
19:23Stop the complaining, or you're going to time out.
19:25Eden's got an enormous amount of power and control over her parents.
19:30What do you like?
19:31Mine would be dark.
19:33Eden and Jonathan were absolutely going to have no part of eating anything.
19:38So, I'd like you to make it clear to the pair of them.
19:39I'm not having this nonsense anymore.
19:40Okay?
19:41As simple as that.
19:42Because right now, we've got them acting like they're two years old.
19:43That's all right.
19:44Jonah put his thinking cap on and finished first, so he was the first one to leave the
19:57table.
19:58And Jonathan sat there and cried, and so did Eden.
20:01Jonathan and Eden, you need to stop it right now.
20:06And they refused to listen to mum.
20:09And she really had to stick to her guns and just lay down the rules, tell these kids what
20:14she expected, and then leave them.
20:17I want you to go back at the table and then say to them, I've asked you and already told
20:26you what I want you to eat.
20:28Okay?
20:29And I want you to do as you're told and finish that off because you won't be leaving this
20:33table until that is done.
20:35Jonathan and Eden, I have told you what I want you to do.
20:40Would you like mommy to heat it up for you?
20:44Would you like me to heat it up for you?
20:46Joe just gave me the willpower to persevere.
20:48You know, I've done this.
20:49It works.
20:50Keep going.
20:51You're not hurting your kids.
20:52You're asking something very simple.
20:54You just want them to try.
20:55Let's, you know, just keep going.
20:56Great.
20:57She said no.
20:58Okay.
20:59All right.
21:00Well, let's go and play with the rest.
21:02It was a painstaking kind of time.
21:05She was definitely torn between, you know, just saying, okay, up from the table and sticking
21:09to her words and following through.
21:12Mommy!
21:13Yes?
21:14I ate the things that were right here.
21:18Come here.
21:19Good.
21:20Yes, you do get a cuddle and a hug with me.
21:24I am so proud of you.
21:25How does that feel?
21:26To know you did that.
21:27Eden, this is your last chance to have it heated up.
21:28Do you want it heated up?
21:29Yes or no?
21:30No?
21:31Okay.
21:32Eden never gave up.
21:39She sat at that table.
21:41And then before long she was kind of dozing off and her head was kind of going.
21:48She just held on until it was time to go to bed.
21:49I mean, she's sat there forever.
21:50Tell everybody good night and then you're going to bed.
21:51The boys stay up playing.
21:52She doesn't have that privilege tonight.
21:53Okay.
21:54She's got to see that it's not about falling asleep and getting away of not doing it.
21:55I definitely think that Eden was trying to control.
21:56And she lost.
21:57She knows she's not going to win.
21:58She's got to see that it's not about falling asleep and getting away of not doing it.
22:02I definitely think that Eden was trying to control.
22:15She's got to see that it's not about falling asleep and getting away of not doing it.
22:20I definitely think that Eden was trying to control, and she lost.
22:23She knows she's not going to win.
22:31If these kids start to behave better, it's going to lessen the stress that the Addis family are already feeling because of the loss of losing Rick.
22:40Also, these kids are grieving too, and they've been affected by the other members of the family grieving.
22:45So that was my next step, to give these kids a way to grieve and remember their granddad at their own pace.
22:52Pirates used to keep things that were very valuable to them in these treasure chests, and it's exactly what we are going to do.
23:05We're going to keep objects and things that create fond and happy memories of Grandpa.
23:14It allows the children to process grief in their own time, and allows the adults to recognize that these kids haven't forgot who Papi is, but they need to be able to heal in their own time, in their own space.
23:30This is great, look at all these lovely little things you've collected, that you've remembered to your chest.
23:35They did have a lot of fun with them.
23:37They enjoyed going on a little treasure hunt to find things that reminded them of their Papi.
23:42These chests will grow, as the kids do, and become older as well.
23:45And there'll be little things that they'll add to that, and little things that you guys will add to that as well.
23:50And when they're ready, which is most important, they will go and have a look at their chest.
23:55What is it with the cars?
23:57Because I remember him doing a lot of stuff at Daytona.
24:02Spent a lot of time with my dad at Addis Racetrack.
24:04It just became a true part of who our family, what we did.
24:09Did Papi go up in that as well?
24:11Yeah.
24:11He did?
24:12He loved that game.
24:13Did he?
24:14I don't remember the last time that we were able to get through some stories or whatever without crying about my dad.
24:24So they felt good to laugh and remember, and it to be a happy time.
24:28Charity, I'm going to leave you down here with the kids.
24:32And what I would love to do is to have some quality time with Tony and Leslie upstairs.
24:38Mum and dad are also hurting, and so it's really important to see that they're supporting each other through such sensitive times.
24:45Can I ask you a question?
24:48How do you personally feel emotionally about Rick passing away?
24:52Because I've got to tell you that when my mum passed away, Tony, it was the most devastating thing that could have, that has ever happened to me.
25:04Ever.
25:04I really honestly don't feel like I'm in mourning for Rick for me personally.
25:09I mourn for my kids.
25:12I mourn that they're not going to get the opportunities to know that I did.
25:15I grieve for my kids, not for myself.
25:21I was kind of surprised to see him actually get that emotional.
25:25It was good to see him just feel.
25:29You are, you are grieving and mourning, not having Rick around.
25:36You are, because he was that special to you, because you loved him that much.
25:42And it's all right, Tony.
25:45Like, it's okay for you to mourn for yourself.
25:49I really encourage you to give yourself permission to be able to be in touch with those feelings.
25:57And to be able to say, it's all right that I feel that way, because I loved the man.
26:04But I really want you to be able to reach out to Leslie, because it allows her to be able to reach out to you as well.
26:12But at the same time, for you to connect on a much stronger level than ever, with regards to how you support each other as parents.
26:22I know you want to give her up, really.
26:24I know that wink meant give me a squeeze.
26:27Give her a squeeze.
26:28I know what it meant, huh?
26:31Tony really opened up emotionally, which I was really pleased to see.
26:36But it was important to remind Leslie and Tony that even though they're grieving, it doesn't stop them from having fun.
26:45I think what we'll do, in about five minutes, is kindly ask Mum and Dad to leave the table, because I do believe that I have a dance class waiting for the pair of you.
26:57It's date night tonight, for Mummy and Daddy.
27:05One, a two.
27:07I heard that Leslie loved to dance.
27:09However, since Rick's passed away, there's been a tremendous amount of grief, and it's put stress on Leslie and Tony's marriage.
27:16So I felt it was very important that Leslie and Tony spend time together as a couple to connect with one another.
27:22One, a two.
27:23Two, one, a two.
27:25Rock.
27:26Okay.
27:27Especially since my dad died, we have not spent much time out, just the two of us.
27:31Two, one, a two.
27:33Rock.
27:33One, a two.
27:37Mum and Dad really had fun dancing, so for homework, I asked them to take their kids out so they could all have fun.
27:45Feeling good?
27:46Are we feeling confident?
27:48Yeah.
27:48Yeah, good.
27:49Because you've already shown already that you're doing really well.
27:53I definitely feel like we're heading in the right direction, and I feel like I've made a lot of commitments to my family to persevere and to follow through with this.
28:02I hope and pray I don't fall back in my own ways.
28:04Don't forget our discipline.
28:06Follow through.
28:08You know, I think we're going to be forced to put ourselves on the same page and get in line.
28:15Bye.
28:15Bye.
28:16Good night.
28:17This family have made some gradual progress.
28:20I just hope they hold up while I'm gone, but only time will tell.
28:28After three days, I'm curious to see if Mum and Dad have held it together.
28:33I just hope they've had the opportunity to take the kids out and have some fun.
28:36How are you all?
28:38Good and how are you all?
28:38Yeah, very well, thank you.
28:40Let's take a look then.
28:41Yes, we can go out.
28:44All of us?
28:45Yep.
28:45Let's go.
28:46Let's see if we can hop.
28:47You ready?
28:48Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.
28:53Run down to the other driveway and come back.
28:59Go!
29:00Woo!
29:01Oh!
29:03Oh!
29:05Okay, everybody.
29:07What hurts, Eden?
29:08Ah!
29:10Ah!
29:11Come on.
29:15Come on.
29:16Okay.
29:18All righty.
29:19Hold on, guys, okay?
29:22Ah!
29:25Ouchie.
29:26Yeah, she got an ouchie.
29:27Ah!
29:28Okay.
29:28So the good thing is, is that you braved up and took them out.
29:35Sad thing is, it only lasted for seven minutes.
29:38Stuff does happen.
29:39You know, kids do fall over, they do hurt themselves.
29:42What you could have done in that scenario is actually have just brought Eden in and just
29:46attended to her, and then you were inside, actually, Charity.
29:50So Eden could have stayed indoors if she chose to, or if not, she would have come back out
29:54again.
29:55But you brought all the troops back in, and then, like, nobody got to go out and enjoy.
29:59But it's a start, which is great, you know?
30:05Yummy.
30:05Yummy.
30:06That's Elisha's pizza.
30:08Are we going to try a bite?
30:10Pizza.
30:11This is Elisha's pizza.
30:14It's hot, so wait just a second.
30:19Elisha?
30:21Elisha, this is your pizza.
30:27Daddy.
30:29We're going to try a bite.
30:31Daddy.
30:34Water.
30:36Daddy.
30:37I want to stop you there for a minute.
30:39He knows what pizza looks like.
30:43He's looking at you thinking, do not pull the wall over my eyes, woman.
30:47What are you doing?
30:49Seriously.
30:52What I want you to do is take him to the table five minutes before.
30:56So get the food down him that you need him to have because of its nutritional value.
31:01Then, if he has the pizza with everyone else, he'll nibble at a few pieces like you know
31:06he does, and then he won't want the rest.
31:10Look at me.
31:11You are not going to fight me.
31:12Stand up.
31:15And you're going to set a timeout.
31:18Your timeout is right there.
31:23Okay.
31:24Play.
31:25Play.
31:26Let's go.
31:42Right.
31:54It's okay.
31:55So if I put him in timeout, I need to follow it through.
31:58Okay.
31:59Nana put you in timeout because you have a really, really bad attitude.
32:04Tell Nana you're sorry.
32:06All right.
32:08Charity, when you first did the timeout with Jonathan, he was screaming.
32:14And you spoke to him.
32:16And that gave him leeway to escalate his temper even more.
32:21Second, when you did, it was in your everyday voice.
32:25It wasn't, Jonathan, you've misbehaved.
32:28All right.
32:29Also, what's important is when you do do it, you follow completely through.
32:34Because if all three of you can do it separately and you've mastered it,
32:39then if it does become to a point where you're feeling a bit tired, one can take over.
32:45We've made good tracks.
32:48And it is my duty now to make sure that we tweak all those last ends.
32:53And we are definitely going to sort out this mealtime situation so that we can deal with Elijah
32:57and that he can be happy having his food that the rest of the kids have.
33:01I see some great work, so I expect the same this time round.
33:06Let's get ready.
33:07From what I saw in the DVD and the meltdown at dinner time,
33:14it's very clear to me that there still are a lot of issues with this family that surround the dining table.
33:20So, should we go up to a restaurant?
33:21Yeah!
33:22I think we should go.
33:23Yeah!
33:24I was excited to be going out for dinner.
33:26I mean, that's something that we've tried in vain sometimes.
33:31Mommy, do one, and then you do one.
33:33Elijah was really digging his heels in and not wanting to eat the food he had in front of him, but wanting bread.
33:40He knows what he wants, and he's testing you on it.
33:44You know, you've got to break that habit, because otherwise all you want to do is live off of junk food.
33:49You know, it really is going cold turkey, because he's not going to starve.
33:51There's no way to back that.
33:53And when he misbehaves, like, look him in the eye and say,
33:55that's naughty behaviour, now stop it.
33:57Because he knows.
33:58He knows.
33:59After I gave Mom a few tips, she was able to get Elijah to forget about the bread and eat what was in front of him.
34:06And because the other children behaved wonderfully, the evening was a pleasant one.
34:10Pretty tasty, isn't it?
34:11Yes.
34:12Good idea.
34:13I love it.
34:13Going to dinner was great.
34:15I was really impressed with, you know, the three older kids.
34:18You're being lovely.
34:19Look how much thistles I got.
34:22It's still great.
34:22The experience was a wonderful one, and it's definitely shown this family that they are more than capable of being able to go out as a family and enjoy trying new foods, enjoy the experience of being out together, and do so again and again.
34:39Before I left, I had one place that I wanted both Leslie and Charity to go, so I left a note, and in that note, it had what I had in mind.
34:54It's important that grief is respected, and I wanted to give them a chance to be by themselves, alone.
34:59So, in honor of Rick, I want you both to go back to the Speedway for a special tribute to the man,
35:29who loved to be called Pappy.
35:39I spent a lot of time with my dad out of the racetrack.
35:41He was a huge IndyCar fan.
35:44He brought you here by himself, so that was one of the times he tried to do one-on-one time.
35:51The Indy 500 is a huge part of our family's tradition.
35:54We've been doing it for generations.
35:56Hi, I'm Marco Andretti. Very nice to meet you.
36:00I see you are.
36:01I'm standing there in front of this Indy race car, and around walks Marco Andretti.
36:05And, you know, if you're a race fan at all, you know who the Andrettis are, because they've been racing forever.
36:11My dad has taken us here for as long as I can remember.
36:17That's great.
36:17In memory of Rick, this is what we'd like to present to you guys.
36:25When Marco Andretti handed us the plaque that was presented from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway
36:31and it had In Memory of Pappy on it, I was just completely blown away.
36:37For Joe to have thought of doing that for us, it was just all so very overwhelming.
36:43Also, tickets to the 2008 Indianapolis 500.
36:47To be able to keep that tradition going, you know, for our family, and that just meant so much.
37:00And it's, you know, coming from a family who can appreciate, you know, generations of the Indy 500.
37:08There just aren't words to describe what that meant.
37:11That's great.
37:12Just absolutely awesome. Thank you all so much.
37:15My pleasure. My pleasure.
37:16Walking out on the track with my mom was bittersweet.
37:19You know, lots of memories of being there with dad and just the reality that that's not how it is.
37:24But at the same time, you know, the sun was just shining and I just thought, you know, dad's happy.
37:30Dad's really happy right now.
37:37I think this family has come a tremendous way. I really do.
37:43Elijah, can Jojo have a big hug? Because I'm...
37:46I think through this process, Leslie has grown immensely.
37:52I can just see on a daily basis the change.
37:56Keep taking care of your family. Keep connecting. Give me a hug.
37:59I'll give Jill credit. You know, she's very, very good at what she does.
38:02She's got a gift for it.
38:03Hey, I'm very proud of you.
38:06Thanks, Jojo.
38:07Thanks, Jojo.
38:09I just feel like I've been shown light. I don't know, given my life back, given, you know, hope.
38:19Bye. Two hands.
38:21Bye-bye.
38:22The time that I've spent with them, they've been able to put things into perspective
38:29and to really do the best by their children and by themselves.
38:35I think it did give us hope for the future and for our family and just to know that we can laugh.
38:44Thank you, Jo.
38:46Bye-bye.
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