- anteontem
The boys are physically aggressive, they swear and are extremely disrespectful towards their parents. Lucy is so humiliated with the boys' behavior, she doesn't want to take them out in public.
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00:00Hi.
00:01We're in the McKeever family.
00:03No, we're the butt family.
00:04Hunter.
00:05Stop that.
00:06This is Hunter.
00:07This is River.
00:08This is River.
00:09I'm River.
00:10Stop biting me.
00:11And I'm Lucy.
00:12Hunter is seven.
00:13I don't want to be alive anymore.
00:16River is six.
00:19What are you doing?
00:24The main issue with River is...
00:27River.
00:28He's violent tempered.
00:29Yeah, he's very violent.
00:33Come on!
00:34Now he's picking up heavier objects than I'm afraid.
00:38Don't, River.
00:39Put that down now.
00:40Put it down!
00:41Put it down!
00:42You don't play with hot iron!
00:44Put it down!
00:46Hunter is hyperactive.
00:49Hunter?
00:50He throws fits.
00:51Oh, there!
00:52You're not!
00:53Big dry, shiny baby!
00:55He bites.
00:56Stop.
00:57Don't bite me.
00:58He hits.
00:59Hey, my turn!
01:00He just is non-stop aggressive.
01:03I don't care!
01:04It's not funny.
01:05Let me go!
01:07Sit down!
01:08Oh, dear.
01:09We've got problems.
01:10I own two companies.
01:11I own two companies.
01:13One is a recording studio.
01:15I can work up to 60, 70 hours a week.
01:17Basically, I take care of the kids 24 hours a day, so that's my life.
01:23Seems like mom's raising the boys here.
01:25I think Lucy sometimes has it easier.
01:27How do you figure?
01:28You don't have it hard.
01:29I mean...
01:30I...
01:31Oh, my God.
01:32What are you, nuts?
01:34Get your bogus ass up and start hopping.
01:36Hunter, watch your language.
01:38Head-held diarrhea poopy.
01:39Head-held diarrhea poopy.
01:40That's disgusting.
01:41These parents should be doing something about that.
01:44I have a second weenie in my weenie.
01:46You're an idiot.
01:47You two are so stupid, I swear to God.
01:49Weenie.
01:50You guys are stupid.
01:51How are your kids going to have respect for you?
01:54You've got no respect for them.
01:57Don't even kick me.
01:58Why are these parents not disciplining their boys?
02:00You know what a time out is, right?
02:02No.
02:03There's no discipline in this house because nothing works.
02:06If you throw that, I'm going to smack your butt.
02:08All these empty threats and bribes.
02:11Your kids don't believe you.
02:13It's just getting really bad.
02:15I don't want to go shopping anymore.
02:18Cory wants to do stuff on the weekends.
02:20I just say forget it.
02:21Go without me.
02:22Because I'm just so embarrassed.
02:24Please, please just come.
02:25We really need you.
02:27Yeah, you're right.
02:28You guys do need my help.
02:30Because this is totally unacceptable.
02:32I'm on my way.
02:45Hi.
02:46Pleased to meet you.
02:47Hi.
02:48Nice to meet you, Lucy.
02:49Come on in.
02:50When Joe first came in, she had this look in her eye.
02:52Like, Lucy, I'm not here to chit chat or be your friend.
02:54I'm going to be your warden.
02:56Where are the boys?
02:57The boys are in here.
02:58What's your name?
02:59Rev.
03:00Why are you doing that?
03:01Be nice.
03:02As soon as I met the young boys, they decided to attack me.
03:06Why are you punching me?
03:07That's not nice.
03:08When River started attacking Joe, I just wanted to die.
03:12I hid him in the plaids in my hand.
03:14What are their names?
03:15What are their names?
03:16That's River and that's Hunter.
03:17River and Hunter.
03:18So you've obviously got issues that need to be addressed.
03:20Oh, very much so.
03:21And we will get to the bottom of those, trust me.
03:23But today I need to look.
03:24Okay.
03:25Do you want me to give you a tour of the house first?
03:26Okay.
03:27I don't like dildo.
03:28Here's there, right?
03:29That it'll live!
03:31Yeah, stop it.
03:32Riv.
03:33River, no.
03:34And we went upstairs and the boys were just going wild.
03:37Stop that.
03:38Now.
03:39River.
03:40River.
03:41Stop it, Riv.
03:42No.
03:45River, stop it.
03:46What's it again?
03:47Oh, your privates one day.
03:50You don't say that.
03:51It's rude.
03:52River.
03:53So after getting punched, I thought, what's next?
03:58And then the boys started throwing balls at me.
04:01River.
04:02Right.
04:03River, stop it.
04:05I visited a few families and been targeted.
04:09And this was one of those families.
04:11We need to beat up that lady.
04:13No, you don't.
04:14I batted off a ball that came my way, and as I walked down the staircase, I braced myself.
04:19No, you don't.
04:20Thinking that I was going to have a big bouncy ball hit me in the back of the head.
04:24River!
04:25That's wrong.
04:26I realized I was going to have to duck and dive a lot on this job.
04:30Be at that lady on the wing.
04:32River!
04:33Do not talk that way.
04:35I've dealt with plenty of kids that have had potty mouths, but these boys were certainly,
04:39let's say, creative.
04:41Do you know why I'm here, River?
04:43Yeah, the spit.
04:44The spit?
04:45Oh.
04:46These kids do know the difference between right and wrong behavior, but nothing's been reinforced.
04:52But there are no boundaries because it's not being backed up by discipline.
04:56River!
04:57You don't do that!
05:00Hey, .
05:02I'm sorry.
05:03It doesn't seem to disrespect women.
05:05I'm very sorry.
05:07Mum's desperate.
05:08She's totally lost control of dealing with the boys.
05:12And on top of it all, she's mentally exhausted.
05:15All right.
05:16What would you normally be doing today?
05:17Well, I was attempting to do their homework.
05:19Okay.
05:20Well, I'll let you continue to do that then.
05:21Okay.
05:22Hey, guys.
05:23We have to do homework now.
05:25Homework time could have been a lot calmer.
05:26Wait, what is this?
05:27This is what a five looks like right there.
05:28This looks like chicken scratch.
05:29What is this supposed to be?
05:30A G?
05:31It's not.
05:32It's horrible.
05:33You know, you guys make the homework last longer because you take so darn long.
05:34For mum, it's all about rushing the homework and getting it done.
05:35Babe, you're wasting my time.
05:36Look at that writing.
05:37It's horrible.
05:38You are an idiot.
05:39Come on.
05:40I'm sure.
05:41We've been on this page for 50 hours.
05:42Come on.
05:43Mum loses her patience.
05:44Do your homework.
05:45Enough.
05:46And keeping them engaged seems to be a real problem.
05:47Listen, we're not playing with toys right now.
05:48I don't know what's done.
05:49I don't know, it's done.
05:50I don't know what's going on.
05:51I don't know what's going on.
05:52I don't know what's going on.
05:53You're not playing with toys right now.
05:54I don't know what's going on.
05:55I don't know what's going on.
05:56I don't know how to do it.
05:57Hey, I'm like, big guy.
05:58I want to try to do the homework.
05:59It's all about a little darn long.
06:00For Mum, it's all about rushing the homework and getting it done.
06:01Babe, you're wasting my time.
06:02Look at that writing.
06:03It's horrible.
06:04It's horrible.
06:05You are an idiot.
06:06Come on.
06:07I'm sure.
06:08After watching mom attempt to wrangle the boys into doing their homework
06:11I wanted dad to come home soon so that I could see if he did a better job and keeping the boys in line
06:20Later that afternoon Corrie came home
06:23Joe Frost pleased to meet you very nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. How the boys been today?
06:32Lucy told him how the kids had behaved and
06:36Mom had asked Corrie to put River into a timeout. Let's go in the room for a timeout
06:42You're not gonna do it. Let's go in the room. Do not grab me there, River
06:47You're not helping do not scratch me River didn't want to go in and started to hit his dad
06:54Stop now
06:56Stop it stop
06:58Let me go
07:00And there was this full-blown fight happening between Corrie and his younger son
07:10Was I really seeing this I mean could it get any worse?
07:13Stop it Rip stop River and his dad had been fighting for almost an hour and River had completely trashed the room
07:28But when Corrie demanded that River pick up his mess that's when things got really disgusting
07:34Are you ready to clean back clean this room up?
07:36Never
07:38You're not gonna come out River you're down. You're picking your nose
07:45That's disgusting do not
07:50Dairy
07:52Stop it you're you're hurting me you're going back in the room you're gonna clean that mess up stop it River get up
07:58Let me go
08:01Be happy to if you stop kicking me timeouts don't serve anything but trouble for this family you don't kick me
08:07It said it just validates how hostile each member are to one another coming out of this room
08:11It serves no purpose
08:13But a row in the house let go of that stop stop stop
08:18River
08:25You're pissing me off this is why I'll just lay I'll just lay down with them and I'll hold them because this will be non-stop up all day
08:33I
08:34Don't know what is in his head that he does that it just makes me look bad as a father this whole episode and
08:41Take a look your son just scratched on your neck up. What got achieved here?
08:46nothing
08:47I thought I felt nothing River don't even think about her. She's here to help us. Why would you hit her?
08:53I'll tell you that tomorrow
08:55River has a strong personality, but he's been given an enormous amount of power and control
09:01He actually doesn't know how to
09:03deal with that in a mature way because he's too young I
09:10Think dad's zoned out. I think dad's just resigned to the fact that he can't deal with anything anymore
09:16And he's detached himself
09:20Let's go we're going up to bed now
09:22Emotionally he's cut off he's been able to just detach and you're gonna get your pajamas on let's go
09:27Lay down get in bed
09:29Get in bed I'm done lay down
09:31Cory get up here now hunter get in bed
09:34I can't hold him anymore I believe that Cory is fully aware that if he doesn't change the way he's thinking and the way he's behaving
09:45That his children are going to be the sacrifice
09:48What am I supposed to do? I mean, I don't know. I just I can't say anything and they don't listen. There's nothing I can do
09:54I mean, I'm sure there's probably maybe something. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what to do anymore
10:01Having seen enough for the day
10:04It was time for me to go because the quicker I could leave the quicker I could come back to sit down with his family and
10:11Really discuss the severity of the issues that needed to be addressed
10:13The first thing I want to talk to you about is your boys
10:26Their behavior is disgusting
10:29Yesterday I was kicked
10:32punched
10:33Spat at their cussing and swearing was just an absolute nightmare. I mean a nightmare
10:39I'm seeing things being broken things being thrown. They've got no respect for their home
10:46But it doesn't surprise me because they've got no respect for the pair of you. They've got no respect for anybody's in it
10:51So why should they even respect their surroundings?
10:54Well, I think I'm probably more to blame with that because I can't handle their behavior and you know
11:00I do bribe them with things look at the price you're paying for it. You're not in charge
11:04I mean, let's face it. You're not in charge
11:06Which brings me to the next point discipline
11:10Discipline is totally ineffective in this house. Nothing is followed through you undermine one another
11:17They come at you aggressively and you pin them down aggressively. You're grabbing them by the ankle. I don't know what else to do
11:24Homework it's done with impatience
11:27Yeah, it is done with impatience and I will sit here for two three hours trying to get them to do homework and they won't if I had another parent here
11:33Obviously we could each get help to me. It's like okay. You got to get this time when she does their homework. I'm not here
11:40She it's done before I get home even if he's home
11:43He'll sit on the couch and I'm doing both boys and he sees me dealing with it and nothing's done
11:47This is not about who did what this is about you together
11:51You know I'm talking to you both as parents together
11:54The boys feel the resentment they're caught in the middle
12:00Dad you detach and remove yourself from the situation because just choosing to do what feeds you
12:08Leaves you in a place where you're not dealing with what needs to be addressed at home
12:13And that causes the hostility that grows between the pair of you they need you they need their father
12:20You need to be present
12:23So we're not giving up no
12:26So we're ready for some hard work
12:28I'm ready
12:29I'm ready
12:29Let's go
12:36When I arrived the next day the first thing that I wanted to address was that these boys are not held accountable for what they do
12:43Consequences for misbehavior and I feel reward when they're behaving well
12:48So I came up with an idea to do just that so what we have
12:54Awesome smiley balls here
12:56Okay
12:58Mum and dad you hold the bags that have the large amount of balls in there when they behave themselves
13:04They gain a ball and when they don't they lose one and based upon
13:09The amount of balls that they have in their fishbowl they're then given privileges
13:13To do the things that they want to so it's not taken for granted as you get more
13:18Mum and dad are going to allow you to do the things that you want to do
13:22The only ball that has to be good
13:24These balls are to work for you guys
13:26Right
13:27But the focus for these boys is for them actually adding them to their fishbowl
13:32I think with the privileged balls what joe's trying to teach us
13:35Is that if you're going to get something in life you have to work for it
13:39With the privileged balls being set up for consequences for misbehavior
13:45It was really important now to lay down these rules so the boys would know exactly what was expected of them
13:52What's being placed up here rules?
13:54Behaviour that we don't want to see otherwise it will equal discipline
13:58First one that's going up here
14:00Not doing as you are told yet
14:05What's the second one here?
14:07Name calling
14:10Swearing
14:12Not listening
14:13Talking back
14:15Anything that's aggressive that's striking out will result in immediate discipline
14:20I don't like the house laws I just don't
14:24Because if you choose to do them you're going to end up with discipline
14:29Because of what?
14:30You want to be doing what with them?
14:31We want to be doing fun things we want to be having fun
14:33We want to be able to go places that we can all enjoy and have a good time
14:37Yeah, but dad never has a good time with us because it's always something that's all he cares about
14:50Curry he's looking at you what do you have to say?
15:00His dad just looked at him empty and he had an opportunity to turn around and say to his son
15:07Yeah, we're going to make some changes son
15:08Excuse me boys one moment come on cory come with me please
15:11I had to take him into the bedroom and talk to him about these situations and I needed to do it away from the kids
15:17Right now you look like a 13 year old
15:20You have one shot at being able to turn around and tell your boy that you know what it's not all I care about
15:27Now don't walk away from me and don't walk away from this
15:31Because your kids need you
15:33They're going to bring more into your life than you ever imagined
15:37I was actually really pissed. I don't want people to see me in this light. I've been hiding all my life
15:42And here is a time now. There's a chance
15:46Millions of people could see this all you're thinking about is yourself
15:50You are selfish and now I am cross with you because there are two kids
15:55I'm not selfish. No, you're right. I understand that then stand up and take responsibility for what you chose
16:02To have in your life. It's a bloody blessing that you have two kids
16:06And you can't answer them when they turn around and talk to you
16:09I've never heard that out of his mouth before
16:14Didn't feel good
16:16He needs to grow up. He needs to recognize his responsibilities and he needs to address those
16:21For his sake for his boy's sake for his family's sake and he needs to start now
16:25Are you in are you out? I'm in
16:27I think I'm going to be in
16:29After my stern talk with dad they saw that things were going to change and they were bound to act up sooner or later
16:39And sure enough when hunter was refused a snack he started to trash the guest room
16:47What is going on
16:49Hunter why did you do this this is not acceptable
16:53I am mainly mad
16:55Here hunter when we all leave this room I expect that this room gets put back
17:02How it's supposed to
17:12It was crucial that hunter realize that he would be punished for his behavior
17:18And once he realized that he wasn't going to be let off the hook he had no choice but to clean up that room
17:23This is hard
17:27Why do we do this
17:32Dad
17:39That's better
17:40That's better
17:42Because you chose to break the rules you will be doing timeout in this room now
17:48So you will be here for seven minutes
17:50I hate timeout
17:53Kate you can go and you explain why he was placed in timeout
17:58All right
17:59Then for him to apologize hugs and kisses
18:02All right and then his ball
18:04So he sat in timeout for seven minutes
18:07But at the end of the day he misbehaved so he still was going to lose a privilege ball
18:11Are you ready to apologize to me now
18:14Okay look at me and say mommy i'm sorry
18:15Good boy okay come give me a hug before joe came the timeouts didn't really work well now that joe's taught us the proper steps what to do
18:23But i think it's going to be a challenge but i think it'll definitely work
18:27Give me a walk one more chance please no no we had a chance
18:32He's having these emotional meltdowns because he's never been told no
18:42These boys ain't used to having consequences so of course they're going to resist change
18:48So they're going to learn right they're going to learn how to deal with that
18:56The next day what i really wanted to do was talk to the boys about how they felt about their father
19:00And it didn't take long really to get an answer would you like to play hide and seek with dad
19:06That doesn't play hide and seek
19:08When i first met the boys they told me that they didn't like their father that all he cared about was work
19:12He never spent any time with them they never had any fun with him i wish dad played with us mom
19:19The boys misbehave because they're denied the attention they should be receiving from their father
19:25so i come up with a really good idea that would help improve their behavior and their relationship with their father
19:32so i brought in a board that would visually show the kids exactly how much commitment
19:38they would receive from their dad every day with regards to play all right i've been talking to the boys
19:45about time
19:48being spent with you and they're like they want more dad time right every day i want you all
19:55to pick something that you're all going to do for the hour at the top there were lots of activities
19:59that the kids can do and underneath a disc that would show them that dad would concentrate solely
20:05on the boys and do something that they want to do an hour every day if because of work you don't get
20:10that hour in you're going to bring it over to the next day that sounds good i like it i like my dad's new
20:18routine i'm going to put it on the wall up there so that you guys can see that nice and clearly okay
20:24this is something that will help the kids realize that their dad does love them that he does want
20:29to play with them that he does care i think that's it's a good idea it makes me know that i have to
20:34stay on top of things i want the boys to choose what do you want to do we can do this afternoon to
20:39impress the importance of dad spending time with the boys i just wanted to get him out of the house
20:44now what are we going to do go to the park go to the park here let's go the boys wanted to go over
20:55to the park good job and it was just nice to see all three of them having fun as any father with his
21:02son should be when i'm playing with hunter river at the park it feels great i want to spend time with
21:06my kids i want to make them happy i never really learned this from my dad but you've taught me a
21:12lot and i i want to say thank you you're welcome i didn't know how to really be a great father i mean
21:16it sounds like a cop-out but the thing is no one ever taught me it's not rocket science just play with
21:22your children give them the time so that you're building a happy home and you've got contented kids
21:27hey your boys done homework tonight it was really wonderful to see dad spend some down time with the
21:35boys but whilst it was calm i wanted to tackle this family's biggest problem homework so the first thing
21:43i want to do with homework is to be very relaxed and i went through the steps of being able to create
21:50an atmosphere that was nice and calm for the boys to study and then let's place ourselves
21:55in a situation here where we can sit next to the child and help dad whenever you are home
22:01i want you to find the time to be at the table because if you can do one-on-one it's going to be
22:07much better when river does homework i want to be there to help him but when he starts acting the way
22:12he acts i just feel there's nothing i can do and um i guess that's why sometimes i rather let mom do the
22:19homework why don't you sit with one over there i hate homework guys river i'm trying to help you you
22:25gotta let me help you i need to help you okay look at me three steps because look he's sitting there
22:41trying to do it himself because you're not giving him clear direction yeah okay talk to him clearly and
22:47directly all right remember this is what we're going to do three steps to this homework one two and
22:51three now the way you're talking to at the moment is with tone that is if you're it sounds like you're
22:56turning them off all right this is about being encouraging okay so these boys are more than
22:59capable of doing their homework they just need a little direction this is what we gotta do okay
23:06now that one's minus it's 22. zero yeah okay that's good now what we need to do is the second
23:13thing that daddy was talking about all right so you go through those with daddy show him oh good boy
23:19dad do the next one number two keep going from there set very good what i learned from joe about
23:26doing homework with my kids is that it is possible to break through to a stubborn little boy like mine
23:33no no no that's it good boy well done after homework i thought everything was going okay
23:39but at dinner river started to misbehave again chickens i'm sitting right here this is where i choose
23:48to sit that's it next to river and river kicked off he didn't want his dad sitting there he wanted
23:53to control where his dad sat uh river this is what's expected from you you sit your chair back in
24:00the place where you're supposed to and eat your dinner what do not do not do not shout you do not throw
24:09that do not shout you know when a kid's really angry it's better to remain calm rather than feed
24:16into that anger and get angry too please go out the room believe me it's no fun getting hit by these
24:23kids but it's not going to stop me helping this family you're getting angry jojo's your friend there's
24:30no real magic in knowing how to deal with a child that has anger issues my main importance with both
24:39parents was to allow them to recognize how they were dealing with it now and what it was doing
24:44to contribute to the way river was continuing to behave see how he's trying to get your interaction
24:50he wants you to feed into his anger river you don't throw that well if you behave if you say that
24:55then you set it up the first thing i told mum and dad was to remain calm so that temperaments
25:01wouldn't get worse and secondly to tell river unless he's calm he's not going to get the attention he
25:07wants or be heard because you're not allowed in this room while you're behaving that way you have to
25:13be calm to be in this room get out all right you're not allowed in this room while you're behaving that way
25:21when river wanted to spend time with hunter and mum at the computer it gave me a perfect chance to
25:27illustrate this principle put that down when he's calmed down tell him what behavior you expect the
25:38two of you together unite together as soon as you decide you're going to calm down and be a good boy
25:43then you may be in here but until then i don't want you in here so what river's wanting is his own way
25:49and attention and i taught mum and dad that if they can teach river just to calm down then he'll get
25:55what he wants and he'll also be heard take a deep breath i'm gonna behave you're gonna behave good
26:03great corey and i we both came together and river realized that we were a team and he realized that
26:08both of us weren't going to put up with it we're really pleased to hear he's going to behave the whole
26:13process was crucial because it will happen again but as long as they keep following through they're
26:19always going to make river think about the way he behaves and the choices that he makes
26:26well done the pair of you okay i saw something very different here you laid down those rules and
26:31you laid down expectations and he saw that you were agreeing you agree and you're on the same page
26:36so i am going to leave for a few days i'm going to leave you some homework mum i want you to follow
26:47through with discipline don't give a hundred chances here's one warning and nip it in the bud straight
26:53away and follow through dad warnings low projection no shouting and remember you're in it together when joe
27:03comes back and sees um how we've changed and what we've done i think joe's going to be very very
27:08proud of us all right he's trying to give off i want to stick to all the things that she's put into
27:15place i think we're gonna do great right see you in a few days okay thank you so much you're welcome
27:21i'm concerned about this family whilst i leave them for a few days there's still a lot to be sorted out
27:26i just hope that they can keep their sanity before losing their tempers after leaving this family for
27:38several days i'm more than curious about whether mum and dad have held up faults or whether they've gone
27:43back to those bad habits again so who's looking forward to taking a look at this dpt a little nervous a
27:51little nervous okay i hate this stupid ass ball hunter you got you just got a warning you know
27:58what guys this is a warning i'm warning you guys right now this is your warning i'm giving you a
28:02warning right now warning river warning warning you're gonna tell me i didn't warn you
28:08river warning warning warning warning river warning warning warning warning warning look at that
28:17even the kids are mimicking warning warning warning 50 what are you thinking empty threats lead you
28:25back to the same old place you were before i arrived a place of no control you have been showing good
28:32progress don't go back don't go back yeah well you pick what you want to do first hunter that is good
28:43that's excellent draw a line where you think would be a half of an orange excellent you guys are doing
28:50really good nice praise
28:56you just pause it there seems like that went like a breeze yeah yeah that that was when i was by myself
29:01and that did absolute breeze yeah but you've obviously instilled the points of coming together and setting
29:07the right mood nice note why you make something so simple so difficult it's not easy you can do
29:14this and you know it no you're making this very difficult you want to be here all day
29:19all right how is your communication there with hunter positive or negative i guess it's
29:34negative if you feed negativity in the beginning you're going to set up that whole energy it's about
29:41saying i believe in you that's my point continue to watch he's doing great but he's getting
29:47frustrated right now working with him the answer is six i know right of course you know the answer
29:57okay where are you oh is that down here put how many more nice writing
30:05what are you doing over there i sat down for one second i didn't think the last she was
30:12howling it it was not to me it wasn't a big deal you walked away you sat over there and lucy jumped
30:18in you talk about him not quitting and you quit good old lucy will jump in again and save the day
30:26please do not huff and puff like a 12 year old curry where are you i am i am standing up i'm telling you
30:32to me it was the last question it wasn't a big deal she was helping precisely and that's why
30:36you're over there and that's why your wife is still there because it wasn't that important to you
30:44i'm sorry i don't see it that way but that's of course you don't see it that way
30:48of course you don't because you're selfish no that's not true you're selfish it has to do
30:53with your lack of commitment you've been getting away with it for too long in this house
30:58so you want to sit here and sulk about the circumstances then i suggest you take a good
31:03look at yourself first because everything that is going on here is due to you
31:12the next clip that we are going to take a look at dad is your energy okay
31:21guys what do you want to do why are you guys so difficult you guys what do you want to play
31:28yeah hunter why do you do that because you always do hard for me i don't try to throw it
31:35and so i so you're making me chase it it makes no sense come on it's the basketball dad it's under
31:42the car i know i don't want to get dirty dad i'm trying i need to take a break i'm just i'm tired
31:49i just need a rest for five minutes dad why can't you kick i'm just tired right now i'm just feeling
31:57i'm exhausted for some reason
31:58all right i'm waiting for it this is what i saw a lack of willingness a lack of commitment
32:10enthusiasm i'm tired i don't want to get dirty with the ball i don't have a lot of energy
32:15energy don't an emotional energy i mean where do you think that is it's up and down
32:23i have good days i have bad days i do believe that you have a lot of internal emotional
32:28issues yeah because i feel that mentally they have you in a place that's heavy and dark
32:38curry excuse me excuse me i don't want to do this
32:50while watching the dvd i confronted dad about his lack of energy and interest with the boys
33:06curry he left the table in tears but i wasn't going to let him off the hook
33:11keeps isolating himself and it's no good
33:13you are not alone okay do you think that that you are the first person that i have met the first
33:25father the first mother who has had to deal with so much but i just feel like everything's here
33:35see don't you understand that the way you feel mentally about the issues that you need to address
33:42are coming out already with the way you play with your kids they're manifesting itself through energy
33:48your lack of enthusiasm it's because of where you're at mentally emotionally there is stuff that
33:55needs to be processed there is stuff that you need to heal from there is stuff that you need to talk
34:00about you know i really felt his pain he can't see the light through the trees because he's not been
34:06able to reach out and ask for that help for that support recognize what you're not doing so that
34:14we can change it this is about change as a father you need to be there for your children you need to
34:21look them in the eye and tell them you care about them you need to hug them i think the biggest thing
34:25like with my father never really grabbed me and said hey i love you you know to help corey and his son
34:39build a better relationship i wanted to create an unforgettable memory corey how do you fancy
34:47teaching your son how to ride his bike without the stabilizers i'd love to i'm ready hunter's been wanting
34:54to take his trainer wheels off of his bike to ride and today he was able to do that you gotta use your
35:01arms okay well at first when joe suggested let's take the training wheels off i thought okay on a flat
35:08surface but this allows him to practice his balance from left to right right to left you have to learn
35:14how to use your handlebars if you don't learn how to use your handlebars you won't be able to do it
35:18and it was so important that they have this time and that hunter be taught by his father because they
35:27don't have a relationship at the moment that is particularly good if i if i go like this see how
35:33you start falling you have to you have to hold these tight okay so hold these tight
35:40hunter's confidence wasn't sky high and he was worried about falling off of the bike and so it meant
35:48listening to dad and trusting him on his word so that he would be able to ride his bike by himself
35:53let's do it let's do it come on let's go ready
35:57draw a pedal come on it's all you now you can do it keep going
36:05when hunter got on his bike and started riding just thought wow he can do it hunter was just over
36:12the moon i mean his face just lit up and he was just like going in the winds i mean it was really
36:17beautiful to see dad was pleased with what he was seeing and he realized that he had been a big part
36:24of that and hunter was beside himself that was hard here you go give me some that made me very proud
36:30when hunter started riding the bike now i understand with the positive reinforcement and the communication
36:35you can get through to anybody it's all you corey never had that and now i'm realizing why corey has
36:42some of the faults he does because he didn't have that and so as much as it's helping hunter and how
36:46happy hunter is i could see it in corey's eyes i mean that was huge for him come on hunter do not
36:51stop keep going you're doing amazing awesome keep going hunter you're doing fantastic so having
36:57dad teach hunter how to ride his bike will go a long long way because he'll remember that his father
37:02taught him how to ride his bike
37:08yeah this this has been priceless like i can't thank you enough this is i'm just so excited
37:13because i'm gonna take everything and i'm gonna do this i would like to tell joe that this has just
37:18been a huge family change i think you're a fantastic lady um you really know your stuff i
37:24really appreciate you and you have helped our family tremendously and and i can't give you enough
37:30thanks bye rupa give me one of those high fives okay go on bud ready all right okay give me a high
37:37five give me a low five give me a high five very grateful that joe came into our life she's made a
37:43huge difference in our family i think she's wonderful thank you so much you're welcome take
37:49care of yourself okay i will okay keep up the work hey work work work you're welcome the time's flown by
37:55with this family there's been much intense work but i do know that they have the tools and the techniques
38:02and a more broader understanding of why things happened in their family and why it got to the stage
38:09that it did and the the greatest thing that came out of working with this family was communication
38:16thank you jojo
38:21do you have fun rev watch out he put your water on top there i really think this whole experience has
38:26been a wake-up call you know i think it's gonna take a while but i think there's gonna be a lot more
38:30change now that i look back i realize i was selfish i can't turn back and i want to put a smile on my
38:37kids faces i think it's an amazing gift what joe did making corey try to become the father figure
38:44that the boys want hey one two three smile i believe with time things would change and i can see the
38:50change already in my kids my dad plays with us more now he's going higher and higher he's going time with
38:57dad's fun
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