- 04/07/2025
This mom gets emotional and is ready to give up trying to discipline her kids
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00:58Let's get a good wrestle and that makes me frustrated because I don't have Tim to back me up when I yell and get angry
01:04Bryce get down right now stop it right now stop stop
01:07If you ask the kids they would choose daddy over mommy anytime because mommy yells all the time and daddy doesn't
01:13This parenting isn't quite equal
01:15I'm making three different meals every night one for Tim and I one for Alec and Bryce and another one for Carly
01:20How many meals?
01:23You're gonna break that
01:25Alec and Bryce whenever they're not watched the enjoyment for them is throwing toys and they don't care if they break
01:31We have like a 60 foot drop there's toys that survived the balcony drop and toys that didn't
01:38But I find it amusing to find out which toys take the test
01:41So I wonder why these children get away with everything
01:44Nothing's being told
01:46Super nanny please I beg you come to our house help us get control of our kids
01:54Pick up the toys now
01:56No there's no real quick
01:58Super nanny if you come beware of falling objects
02:01You guys could do with a little help I'm on my way
02:06Hello
02:21Hello how are you?
02:23Hi pleased to meet you Jo
02:24So nice to meet you Jo
02:26You too
02:26Tony
02:26Hi Tony pleased to meet you
02:28Come on in
02:28Hi I'm Tim
02:29Hi Tim
02:30Hey Jo
02:30And who have we got here?
02:32Hi Alec pleased to meet you I'm Jo Jo
02:34What's your name?
02:36Bryce pleased to meet you
02:38And what's your sister's name?
02:41Hello Carly
02:42I know you've got some issues that need to be addressed and we'll get to the bottom of those
02:46But for today let's just carry on as well
02:49Yeah we'll show Jo downstairs where all your fun stuff is
02:52First thing Tony did when I arrived was to show me around the house and wow
02:58This is our main playroom
03:00Wow look where Jo Jo is
03:03She's in Santa's workshop
03:04It was unbelievable
03:06So many toys
03:07So this is one of the playrooms
03:10We have another one up on the third floor
03:12Is that for the other six children?
03:14Yeah
03:14And this is the other playroom
03:17All our stuff is in there with the games
03:20All the paints all the projects we do
03:23Let's look at the selection you've got here
03:25So what happens at this time of day now for you?
03:28We would just probably go down to the basement and play
03:30On the way down to the playroom I got to see how the boys had fun
03:33Coming!
03:36Look what is coming now!
03:37What the?
03:46I'm going to knock your head off
03:48Oh my God
03:51So do you look after your toys?
04:01How do you treat your toys?
04:03Sometimes they do have to break
04:05But they have to fix them
04:09The boys are so lucky
04:11They've got so many toys
04:12But I wonder if they really appreciate them
04:15Are we done with snack?
04:18Because as soon as we're done we're going to go down and play in the basement okay?
04:21At snack time I got to see exactly who was running things
04:25Get more marshmallows!
04:28Get it there!
04:29Alright let's go downstairs and play
04:31No!
04:32Get more now!
04:34I was pretty taken aback at how Bryce was ordering his parents around
04:38But neither Tim or Tony did anything about it
04:41Alec you done with your milk?
04:42Oh!
04:43Are you done with yours Alec?
04:45Alec look at me!
04:46The boys are not paying attention when Tony speaks
04:49But that's not helping the situation either
04:52What about the situation we've just seen is that common that they just don't listen to you and
04:55Oh yeah and they do their own thing but then I have to clean up the mess after that
04:59So he'll take the children downstairs and then am I correct in saying then you're left to deal with that?
05:06Yeah he gets to be the fun person
05:08Charge guards!
05:10Yeah!
05:11Yeah!
05:12Yeah!
05:13I don't want to be viewed as a strong disciplinarian when my time might be limited with them
05:19So I want to concentrate and give 100% love and attention and I'm going to do whatever I'm going to do in order to make that happen
05:25You miss not being the fun person?
05:30I kind of do I want to have fun with my kids more than I'm having I don't want to worry about cleaning up Tim doesn't worry about that stuff
05:37What he thinks is important is just having fun with the kids which I think that's important but there's other things that need to be important as well
05:43Do you think you're on an equal par with Tim when it comes to parenting?
05:47We're not even level whatsoever and that's part of our problem
05:52He says I need to let my guard down and maybe I do I don't know how to do it
05:58I repeat
05:59Tim's going to have to step up here because it's really obvious Toni's at her breaking point
06:05Later on the kids were playing in the basement
06:08Whoa
06:10You know what sweetie you may need to move your toys thank you
06:12Keep that pad on the forehead
06:14I need
06:15Bryce decided that he wasn't in a sharing mood
06:18I need it
06:19Oh
06:20Bryce
06:21Carly's going to watch, watch Carly come down, watch out
06:23Bryce you don't need to grab it
06:24Okay Carly, watch out
06:26Bryce
06:27Don't
06:28For all the toys that are in that basement it was ridiculous that Bryce had a temper tantrum because he wanted to take the little crash mat
06:37Just listen to me, look at me right now, listen, let go for a second, let go
06:42It's Carly's turn you guys
06:44Carly's turn, Carly gets a turn
06:46Daddy
06:47There's no need for the boys to invade on Carly's space
06:50You have to take turns Bryce because they've got 101 toys, so why the slide?
06:55You have to wait your turn
06:56Alec, wait a second
06:57Watch out, watch out
06:59No wonder these kids are running amok, there's just no discipline
07:02Listen I need to go up and start dinner, I'll call you when you're ready
07:05One, two, three
07:07Corn
07:08That's all I was cooking mom
07:09Salmon for Tim and I
07:11Carly's getting pasta and corn and I'm still deciding what I'm making for Alec and Bryce
07:15Sometimes they don't eat the same thing like Alec will eat hot dogs, Bryce won't
07:19So then I usually do an extra meal
07:21It's very frustrating that my kids won't eat what Tim and I eat
07:24I do get tired of making two different meals
07:27It would be nice that they eat what we all eat
07:30Have you tried giving them other food?
07:32I gave up that battle when I did do that, it was always a fighting battle
07:36Tony's really quick to avoid confrontation with the boys
07:39But how could she expect them to try anything when she doesn't suggest it?
07:43So, as we say, you've made your bed
07:45Yeah
07:48Hey Alec and Bryce, you need to come up, okay?
07:51Tim, can you come down to feed Carly?
07:54Alec and Bryce, put the toys down and let's go
07:59If you do not start, then no dessert
08:02Once again, the boys didn't listen to Tony
08:04And I was beginning to see a pattern here
08:09After ten long minutes of calling everybody for dinner
08:12Dad and the boys finally made it to the table
08:14Take your shovelware and let's sit down and eat
08:16Good job, Alec
08:18Alec, you need to eat some peas
08:19Come on, Alec, I want you to try some
08:21You're not just taking one, uh-uh
08:23Absolutely not
08:24Bryce, Bryce, Bryce
08:26You have a fork
08:27We don't use hands
08:28Alec
08:29Alec
08:30Alec
08:31Alec, you have a fork
08:32Mealtime?
08:33Playtime
08:34Not nice
08:35You're not getting any dessert
08:36Do you hear me?
08:37Eat in a nice way
08:38Bryce, you know what?
08:40Look at me, look at me now
08:41Not nice
08:42Mom was just full of empty threats
08:44And there was just no consequences for the boys' behavior
08:47Hold on, Bryce, Bryce, wait just hold on one second because that's a big mess there
08:52I've seen all that I needed to see
08:54I had a pretty good idea about what I was going to discuss with the parents at the family meeting
08:58You're both dedicated parents and it is absolutely wonderful to see how you have both embraced the whole family experience
09:20But what I don't see is respect
09:26Your parents and your children should respect you and it's not happening
09:32Toni, you're nodding away here as I'm talking about respect
09:36Well, I agree with you 100%
09:38I think that's a big problem in our family
09:41I truly feel our kids don't have respect for us
09:43Let's talk about not only the respect that I feel needs to be earned
09:50But also, I didn't see any discipline yesterday
09:54Let's take the incident downstairs in the basement
09:57Plenty of toys for them to stimulate themselves and to develop their imagination
10:03But yet again, you say to them, please can you get down from there?
10:07Carly is playing with this and yet they refuse
10:10Because it's not backed up with any consequences
10:13And that is important because it's the part where your children recognize we do have to listen
10:20The respect for their toys
10:23Why do you think they don't respect the toys?
10:26Every time a toy breaks, Daddy fixes it or we buy them a new one
10:30We've always catered to them
10:32The message that the child gets is that every time I behave this way
10:37And the impact is broken toys, it doesn't matter
10:41So it's not the toy, but it's the behavior that needs to be addressed
10:46What I also noticed was a feeling of unequal parenting
10:53And there was circumstances where I clearly saw Mum implement with the children what she would like them to do
11:02And actually they paid no respect to what she had to say
11:05And then there was a distraction where you took over Tim
11:09And what that does is undermine what Mum is trying to do with the children at the time when she has them throughout the day
11:17I disagree with you because it only happens during lunch time
11:20I don't typically go down and intervene
11:22Tony, this is your opportunity to be able to get off your chest what I know you have been holding back
11:30Okay, I will
11:35I get frustrated with you when you come down when you're working upstairs
11:39And you play with them for a few minutes
11:41And then you just go upstairs and I'm left with your mess
11:45Talk about the impact that that has on you
11:51It's just tough
11:59Yeah
12:00And it wears you out
12:01It's not the wearing out, it says that you feel non-appreciated
12:07And I feel like I'm the disciplinarian
12:09They view me as the mean person
12:11And they want nothing to do with me
12:12My kids don't even want me to read them to bed at night
12:15I would like to have fun with my kids like he does
12:18But somebody has to clean up the mess and take that responsibility
12:23And so it's always me
12:26I just want to give up sometimes
12:31I can't compete with you
12:35And I don't want to anymore
12:38You shouldn't have to compete
12:40You should be on an equal path
12:45Do you both want to be raising children that way?
12:47No
12:48It's a simple answer, no
12:49So what I want to do
12:50Is to be able to bridge the gap between the pair of you
12:54I thought Joe's observation in regard to Tony and the kids
12:57And me supporting those efforts
12:59Totally concur
13:00I look forward to hearing ways by which we could change our behaviors
13:04I was a little emotional
13:05But it was a good emotional
13:07I was very excited to start
13:09Are you guys up and ready for it?
13:10100%
13:11Brilliant, okay, let's do it
13:12The first thing I decided to do when I came back to the Woo Chick house
13:17Is to sit them down and have a family meeting
13:19Bryce and Alec have never been given any expectations
13:22And that's what Tony and Tim are going to have to do
13:25If they want to make some changes
13:26We're having a little family meeting
13:28We want to set some rules
13:31Examples
13:32Yeah, good examples
13:33So listen to what mommy and daddy say when we tell you
13:36And then also to do the things that you know are right from wrong
13:39No throwing toys
13:41We don't throw
13:42How about no hitting each other?
13:44The boys listen to their father, but they don't listen to their mother
13:47And Tony needs as much respect as Tim
13:49When mommy says something, let's be supportive of it
13:52And that her word counts, okay?
13:55Got it?
13:56Bryce?
13:57Okay
13:58Go team!
13:59The family meeting went really well
14:01But Tony and Tim still need a technique for discipline
14:04So I'm going to introduce them to the naughty step
14:07Consistency and the fact that the pair of you will now use the same technique
14:14Will show these children that you both
14:17We're serious
14:18Yes
14:19But that you're both equal
14:20Right
14:21So that you're supporting mom and mom's supporting you
14:24My biggest concern is getting myself confident enough to use it
14:30Okay boys listen very carefully
14:37This is called the appreciation technique
14:40Tony and Tim have overindulged their children with toys
14:43And because of that they don't value them at all
14:45So I wanted to teach the children value and respect for their own belongings
14:49Alec and Bryce
14:52I want you to both look at all of your toys
14:58And I want you to choose ten toys each to place into your box
15:08Because all the rest were taken away
15:13Tony and Tim were quite shocked
15:18We're going to be taken away
15:20We're taking away all the other toys
15:22And we're going to place them somewhere safe
15:25And when you show mommy and daddy that you can play nicely with your toys
15:31Then mommy and daddy will every now and then give you two more toys back
15:35If you throw the toys that are in your box or hurt one another
15:42They're going to be taken away and placed into this green one
15:45And then you'll only be left with nine
15:47When Jo said they had to pick out ten toys each
15:50I was nervous and scared because I thought what are they going to do now
15:55Who is going to choose ten toys for their toy box?
16:00All right, go
16:07It was funny to watch Bryce
16:09He was just picking an odd amount of toys
16:12Whereas Alec put a lot of thought into it
16:14I'm taking my time, Luke
16:16You take your time, Alec
16:17Yeah, I think I'll be surprised
16:18Bryce isn't quite at that level
16:26Okay, let's come over and have a look
16:27You have ten
16:28Do you want to exchange any of them?
16:31You sure?
16:32I'm sure
16:33All right, okay
16:34You put these into your box then
16:36I think Tony was pleasantly surprised
16:38To see that Bryce and Alec handled it so well
16:40And picked out their ten toys to play with
16:42Give me five
16:43I'm proud of you
16:44And now what's going to happen is
16:46All the other toys are going to be taken away
16:52Tony was feeling that the kids would react violently
16:57To see their toys go away
16:59And clearly it wasn't the case
17:04Take care of that
17:09These boys don't listen to Tony
17:11So it was time for me to speak to Tony
17:13About the tone of her voice
17:14See what you do is you yell
17:16And they still don't listen to you
17:17And then you shout
17:18You need to be able to just instill it
17:20And expect them to do so
17:22Because you're going to use your warning
17:24And your tone of voice
17:26And when they don't listen
17:27You then adopt that low-toned authoritative voice
17:30It's about asking them to do something
17:32Them listening to you
17:34And you exercising discipline
17:36If necessary because they've not listened
17:38You know they don't listen the first time
17:40If you turn around and you said to your boys
17:42Who would like a big chocolate piece of cake
17:45Do you think they'd hear you straight away?
17:46But look at Alec's face now
17:48What was I talking about
17:49With your tongue sticking out?
17:50Chocolate and cake
17:51Oh, they hear
17:53They just choose not to
17:56Shortly after our conversation
17:58Bryce and Alec put Tony to the test
18:00No running around
18:01Put the popsicles in the garbage
18:03Alec and Bryce
18:04Mom was asking the boys
18:05To throw away their popsicle wrappers
18:07But yet again
18:08They didn't listen
18:09Right now, come over here
18:10Right now
18:11I got very frustrated
18:14I did yell
18:15Bryce
18:16Listen, don't shout
18:18If you do not come over here
18:20Right now
18:21And listen to me
18:22You'll be going straight
18:24Into a naughty area
18:25If you do not come here right now
18:27Both of you will be going into
18:29The naughty area
18:31Go put it in the garbage
18:33Right now, please
18:34I was pleased to see
18:35That the boys started to listen to mum
18:37Once she lowered her voice
18:39It wasn't perfect
18:40But it was a good first step
18:41But I'm trying to get you
18:44To exercise your authority here
18:46When she instructed me
18:47On how to take control of the situation
18:50It helped me feel more confident
18:56Hello
18:57Hi
18:58How are you boys?
18:59Good
19:00I see you playing with your toys
19:01From your box
19:02That basement was barren
19:03I mean it really was barren
19:05But I feel justified in
19:07In using this technique
19:08With the family
19:09Because of the way the boys
19:10Used to smash up their toys
19:11And have no respect for them
19:12Because
19:13All of the children
19:14Have a lot of toys
19:15They tend to spend
19:16Just a few minutes
19:17And think, oh well
19:18I'm bored with that one
19:19I'll move on to the next one
19:20And what you want to be able to do
19:21Is to try and get the boys
19:22To focus
19:23And rediscover
19:25This toy
19:26Every time they play with it
19:27Okay
19:28It looks to me like
19:29Bryce and Alec
19:30Are enjoying their toys
19:31More than when they had hundreds
19:32To play with
19:33Who
19:34Is ready for some fun?
19:36Me
19:37I wanted to add value
19:38To Bryce and Alec's playtime
19:40So I wanted to use a creative way
19:42With their toys
19:43To make sure that they work together
19:44And communicate
19:45Remember the one
19:46Who's wearing the blindfold
19:47Cannot move
19:48Unless they listen
19:50To the person who's speaking
19:52It's about working together
19:54Using your skills to listen
19:57To communicate correctly
19:59And being able to trust
20:01Your partner
20:02Which in this case
20:03Is your brother
20:04Because one of you is blindfolded
20:05Slide down the slide
20:10Walk around the chair
20:12No
20:13Stop
20:14Go backwards
20:15Good listening, Bryce
20:17Good listening
20:18Big step over
20:20I really enjoyed seeing them
20:22Work together as a team
20:24Something I hadn't seen
20:25In a long time
20:26You're almost done, sweetie
20:27You're almost done
20:28Woo
20:29Yay
20:30Give me five, Bryce
20:31Good job
20:32Yeah
20:33Bryce, give me five
20:34Woo
20:36Cool, Alec
20:37Alec, very good description
20:38Woo
20:39Use this because of listening
20:40Taking direction
20:42And coordinating together
20:44Working together
20:45Right
20:46Look at this
20:48Look at this
20:49It instills a matter of teamwork
20:51It's a kind of a calming factor
20:53Where they have to listen to one another
20:55Good job
20:57Good job, Alec
20:58Good job, Alec
20:59Well done
21:00Excellent job
21:01Yay
21:02Good job, Alec
21:03How was it fun?
21:04The obstacle course was by far something I found the most eye-opening
21:12I wish I had the idea myself
21:13Give me two and five
21:14That was so cool
21:15Look at you working together
21:16Can you do it again?
21:17Yeah
21:18Was it fun?
21:19When it came to mealtime I introduced the dinnertime technique and I told Tony she was only going to make one meal tonight
21:28What are you having tonight?
21:29Chicken and broccoli
21:30So that's what you guys are having tonight
21:32Right
21:33And Alec and Bryce
21:34Alec normally doesn't eat vegetables whatsoever
21:37I've never given him broccoli
21:39It was ridiculous that Tony makes two wasted meals a night
21:42So I wanted to expose her to some new foods
21:45So the key is, it's encouragement at the table
21:49It's letting them try a little bit
21:52Of what you've placed on the plate
21:55Tonight Joe said that I was only going to make one meal
21:58And we were all going to sit down and eat it
22:01I was very excited but also a little nervous
22:04Here we go
22:06It's going to be an interesting evening
22:08Okay, come on you guys
22:10Spoon please
22:14Let's talk a little bit
22:16Alec, I want you to at least take one bite
22:20And I don't want you to spit it out
22:22I want you to swallow it
22:23And I want you to try it
22:24Is it going to go in the mouth Alec?
22:26I want to see it
22:27Mom was very upbeat and encouraging
22:29And the children were very receptive
22:31Oh my god, that is so cool
22:34It's fantastic
22:35Let me feel that muscle
22:36What?
22:37Did you see that?
22:40I saw it, good job Bryce
22:42Did you eat another one?
22:43No way
22:44Are you eating another broccoli?
22:45I can't believe this
22:46Amazing
22:48They look like mini trees, right?
22:51Alec said that he never liked broccoli
22:54And he ate broccoli
22:56So shame on me for not pushing it more
22:58Because clearly he ate broccoli and more
23:02You did an excellent job Alec
23:03I'm very proud of you
23:04Are you sure it's in your tummy?
23:05Yes
23:06Good job
23:07And the children loved it
23:08Look like you mom and dad, look
23:10Eating grown up food
23:13They were getting this positive attention
23:15And they were like
23:17Look at me, look at me
23:18I can do it again
23:19I'm going to eat one
23:21Oh my word
23:22I am absolutely loving this
23:25And Tim and Tony were absolutely gobsmacked
23:28Alec and Bryce were more receptive
23:30Than I could have imagined
23:31It was neat to see them both gobble their meals down
23:39Right, I'm off home now
23:41And I'm going to leave you guys
23:43To implement the techniques
23:44That I've taught you guys
23:46Okay
23:47I'm a little concerned
23:49We're definitely going to be put to the test
23:51When she leaves
23:52Alright boys
23:53Let me see you sharing, okay?
23:54Okay, let's say goodbye
23:56Say bye-bye Joe
23:57Tony
23:58Remember
23:59Compromise between the pair of you
24:01Okay, follow through with the discipline
24:03Encouragement
24:04Okay
24:05I will do it
24:06Alright then
24:07I will see you in a while
24:08Bye, nice to see you
24:09Yeah
24:10Take care
24:11Thank you so much
24:12See you soon
24:13I will
24:14Take care
24:15Bye
24:16See you soon
24:17Bye-bye
24:18Bye-bye
24:19Safe travels
24:20Thank you
24:21While I'm away
24:23Let's hope that Tony and Tim work together
24:25And the boys
24:26They start listening to their mother
24:27Now that I've left the Wu chicks
24:29Well, let's just see how they get on
24:30You guys can help me make pretzels
24:32All of it?
24:33Pour it in, all of it
24:34So nice to see you spending time with the boys
24:36Good job, keep it up
24:37How can I do the mixer?
24:39Give them a couple more minutes
24:40And then it'll be your turn, Bryce
24:42Tony, this is great
24:43You're so relaxed
24:44Bryce's turn
24:45You break the rest of those pretzels
24:46There's three more left
24:47Alright
24:48That looked like fun
24:49Alright
24:50Let Mommy do the rest of the mixing now
24:52We're done
24:53And then we can go downstairs
24:54And go do something
24:55Alec, why don't you do me a favor
24:57Get one small fork out
24:59And this is one
25:00And then get two big forks
25:02For Mommy and Daddy
25:03I asked you no
25:04I said no to using those
25:06I want to
25:07You don't need a knife
25:08You don't need a knife
25:09You know what?
25:10We don't even need a spoon
25:11All I asked was
25:12Please get two small forks
25:14And two big forks
25:15Alright, I'm gonna
25:16You know what you guys
25:17This is my last time
25:18I'm gonna say it
25:19Mom, you already gave him a warning
25:21Why are you negotiating?
25:23What if we do a sorting game?
25:24Who could sort the colors?
25:25Sorting game?
25:26Dad, what are you doing?
25:28Mom just said
25:29Put those away
25:30Sort them into the bag, please
25:32One fork, one knife, one spoon
25:34Let's go, fork, knife, spoon
25:35Do you have it all?
25:36One fork, one knife
25:37Good job
25:38Tim, you're undermining Tony
25:39And you're giving the boys mixed messages
25:41Sit down, please
25:43I will get it for you
25:44I will get it
25:45I asked you to sit down
25:49Good
25:50This is great to see you disciplining Alec
25:52Alec, stop when I asked you to do something
25:54Listen
25:55Dad, you're being too soft
25:57Where's your authoritative voice?
25:59Thank you
26:00Oh
26:05You did not listen
26:06Do you understand?
26:07Tim, you're rewarding him with communication
26:09Put him back and walk away
26:11In five minutes, I'll let you know
26:12I urge you to sit there
26:13I know, do you want to get him?
26:14I know, but you kind of started this one
26:16So you have to finish it
26:18Look like Alec put you on the naughty step
26:25Bryce, do you want to try some fish?
26:27You have rice and broccoli
26:28Fantastic
26:29You're all sitting down for dinner
26:30Hey look, Tony
26:31You only cooked one meal
26:32Alec, I want to see some broccoli eaten and some rice
26:35I ate broccoli
26:37Let me see you eat one broccoli
26:38No
26:39Just one
26:40No
26:41Dad's trying to make it fun
26:43One bite, Alec, come on
26:44But what about you, Mom?
26:45Alec, just one
26:46Come on
26:47Just one
26:48Come on
26:49You didn't even try the broccoli or the rice
26:51Yeah, you tried Alec
26:52Come on Alec
26:53Where's the positive reinforcement that I saw at the last dinner?
26:56Why can't you just take one bite of broccoli?
26:58In your mouth
26:59All of it
27:00Just stick it in your mouth and eat it
27:02Well, that tone's definitely not going to work, is it?
27:04I'm on my way back
27:05I'm on my way back
27:12Okay, let's take a look
27:16Other way, other way
27:17Good job, keep it up
27:18Alec, can I do the mix up?
27:20Give them a couple more minutes and then it'll be your turn, Bryce
27:25Okay, marvellous
27:26And praise there along the way
27:27So you're allowing the boys to get involved
27:30Good direction
27:31Good listening
27:32Great communication
27:33And it creates an environment that's very peaceful
27:37How did you feel about that whole episode there?
27:40It was good
27:41Because they enjoyed doing that
27:42And like you said, we were working together
27:44There weren't any arguments
27:45So you know what, it was fun
27:47Yeah
27:48Good, that was?
27:49It was nice to see
27:50Very good to see
27:51Oh, I said no to using those
27:53All I asked was, please get two small forks and two big forks
27:57How do we do a sorting game? Who could sort the colours?
28:02Tim, this is what happened
28:03You came straight in and disregarded what Tony had asked the boys to do
28:08It then allowed the boys to find the gap between the pair of you as parents
28:13And your old habit, Tim, of coming in and diverting the situation instead of addressing it
28:20So your own behaviour patterns allow each other to not work together as a team
28:26And it creates
28:27Yeah, confusion, not a mixed message
28:30Yeah, right, exactly
28:32You did not listen
28:34Do you understand?
28:35Now just wait there for a couple more minutes
28:37When you're done with the five minutes, I'll let you know
28:39I urge you to sit there
28:41Why is it difficult for you to be able to adopt an authoritative voice with Alec when implementing discipline?
28:48You know, that's a good question
28:49I think the answer to that is, I hate to be viewed as just the disciplinarian when I first embrace them
28:55You know, so when I'm coming home from work, then all of a sudden I become, you know, the warden
29:01Millions of working dads have the same problem as you do
29:06When they come home, the last thing they want to do is to enforce discipline
29:12They've not seen them all day
29:14And the first thing they want to do is to be able to have fun with the kids
29:18Absolutely
29:19But as long as you hold that subconsciously on your shoulders, you're going to carry on
29:24Not enforcing discipline when necessary
29:28Make sense?
29:29Yeah, absolutely
29:31Alec, come on
29:32Let me see if you eat one broccoli
29:34A baby
29:35One bite, Alec
29:36Come on
29:37Just one bite
29:38In your mouth, all of it
29:39Just stick it in your mouth and eat it
29:40Ultimately, these boys are not doing what you want them to do
29:44And that's respect you and listen to you
29:45Yeah, absolutely
29:46He tried chicken, he tried rice the other day, and he tried vegetables
29:51And when you brought that food to the table, you gave him a sense of pride
29:56He felt really pleased with himself
29:59But you didn't come to the table at dinner time with the same enthusiasm or encouragement
30:05We want to encourage them
30:06We want to set examples, we want to show them
30:09Hey, this is a good thing, it's not a bad thing just to try one
30:11Right
30:12Great, you tried
30:13Okay
30:14I think the DVD was definitely the catch-all of this whole experience
30:20I really, really need to change
30:22My naughty step routine with Alec was a bit dysfunctional
30:25If I was to rate myself on an A through F scale, C minus
30:30We're going to work on tweaking all of the stuff we've seen on this DVD
30:35So, I need your sleeves rolled up because you're about to get your hands dirty
30:40Are you ready?
30:41I'm ready
30:42I had the rest of the day with the Woo Chicks
30:43But there were certainly a few more things I needed to work on
30:46What I am going to do with you both is a technique called the voice tone technique
30:51Okay
30:52We clearly want to be able to change our voice when we're giving our children praise
30:55And then when we're disciplining the children
30:57And the best way to do that is to hit your face
31:01When Tony and Tim talk to the boys, they're all on one monotone
31:06And there's no inflection in their voice
31:08So I wanted to use the voice tone technique with them
31:12So they could actually look at their facial expressions
31:15And listen to the tone of their voices
31:18It takes a lot of good courage to look at that mirror and go
31:22Hey, because it seems really, really weird
31:25What am I doing talking to a mirror?
31:27But it is a reflection of exactly what your children are going to receive
31:33So you have to imagine this mirror as your children's face
31:38Good job, Alec
31:39Way to go
31:40I'm really proud of you on how you ate your vegetables
31:43Good job
31:44Not only does your face look very, very pleased
31:47But at the same time, you've raised your pitch
31:50When we started that technique to look in the mirror
31:53I was very apprehensive
31:55And I was afraid to look at myself in the mirror
31:57But it really felt good to do it
32:00Tim, start off with discipline
32:03Alec, I asked you, please remove your shoes before you walk in the house
32:08Okay
32:10Where was that voice when I was gone?
32:14Where was it?
32:16Yeah, now it really brought to my attention
32:18I thought I was exercising a lot of vocal tone and having enunciation
32:22Clearly it wasn't
32:23So what I'm going to do is I want to be able to watch
32:25I'm going to come behind you
32:26Alright, I'd like you to do discipline, praise
32:29And just pass the mirror to one another
32:31Alright?
32:32Sweet job, Bryce
32:33Good use of color
32:34Really happy and proud
32:36Bryce, I said no hitting
32:38Alright, you got it, Mom
32:40Alright, this is good
32:42Carly, no biting
32:44No biting
32:45Alright, I like it
32:46That is fantastic
32:47Okay
32:48I don't think that Tony and Tim are going to be nominated for an Academy Award this year
32:53But they're making progress
32:58The boys have made a huge mess with Carly's toys
33:01And Dad told the boys to start helping put the toys away
33:06Here we go
33:07This is like a disaster area
33:08Alec, come here
33:09It is, but what are we going to do before dinner?
33:11Yep, we're going to do this
33:12Dad?
33:13Bryce is giving me some assistance
33:14Thank you
33:15He's going to help me put this stuff away
33:16No
33:17Alright, Mom
33:18Stop
33:19You don't deal with it because Dad's going to deal with it
33:20Dad!
33:21Dad!
33:22Dad!
33:23Dad!
33:24I'm going in the car
33:25Listen, no
33:26I asked for your assistance and you're helping me
33:27Alright, Dad
33:28Yep
33:29Leave him
33:30Don't strain him down
33:31Okay
33:32Stand up, Bryce
33:33Dad had to give him a warning
33:36And follow through
33:38And off Bryce went to the naughty step
33:40Place him on the step outside and then explain why you put him there
33:45You're sitting on this naughty step
33:47You know why you're sitting on the naughty step?
33:49Is because you have not listened to Daddy when I asked you to come there
33:53You got it?
33:54And I will sit
33:55I will call you when it's five minutes
33:56You're sitting right at the step
33:57Do you understand?
33:58Thank you
33:59Dad, let's go
34:00Let's go
34:01No talking
34:02No talking to him
34:03Remember?
34:04He did try to test those boundaries and he got off from the step
34:08Bryce
34:10You're talking Dad to Bryce
34:11You're communicating with him and that's rewarding him
34:13Mm-hmm
34:14With your attention
34:15So long
34:17Five minutes and a half
34:21Daddy, why is it taking so long?
34:26Dad for the first time turned a corner
34:29He was very direct with Bryce
34:31He followed through
34:33He implemented the discipline correctly and he got the result
34:37Can you say you're sorry to Daddy?
34:39Huh?
34:40Can you say you're sorry?
34:42What?
34:43What?
34:44No
34:45No
34:46Prior to Joe's arrival I was rationalizing too much with the kids and expecting too much
34:50My approach to discipline now is much more direct and without compromise, I'm giving an order
34:57That's the end of the message
34:59Let's go choose what we're going to have for dinner
35:01I've got shrimp and some pasta or no pasta
35:04Mom did very well at reinforcing dinner tonight
35:07She gave them expectations at the table
35:10She was definitely encouraging and upbeat
35:13You know what I'd like to really see though?
35:15You're using your fork
35:16That is what I'd really like to see
35:18Can you use your fork?
35:19Let's see if he could
35:21I want a pasta
35:22Yeah, when you're done with the shrimp and the peas
35:24No, I want a pasta
35:25When you're done with the shrimp and the peas, please
35:27Bryce was not in a good mood and he continued to have that mood throughout dinner time
35:33Listen, Bryce, listen, listen, listen, Bryce, listen
35:36I'm not talking to you
35:38Excuse me?
35:39Bryce was back chatting Dad
35:42Mom and Dad dealt with it
35:44They were in control together supporting one another
35:48And were able to turn around a negative situation into a very positive one
35:52That's your last warning
35:54You are not to talk to Daddy that way
35:57I want you to go over there and say you're sorry
35:59He can't hear you
36:01Go say you're sorry for talking the way you did
36:04Tim and I were working together toward the same goal
36:08And it really felt pretty good
36:11He didn't hear you, look how far he is
36:13I want you to go make eye contact
36:15What is it, Bryce?
36:16Bryce, what are you sorry for?
36:19I said it
36:20For what?
36:21I didn't hear what you said
36:22For talking back
36:24Oh, for talking back?
36:25Thank you for saying you're sorry, sweetie
36:27Tim and I were actually working together
36:29Honestly, I don't think it has ever happened before
36:32And it felt really good
36:38Come and give me a high five
36:40And another one
36:41Give me a high five
36:42The experience with Joe in the house has been a very positive one
36:45Bye-bye
36:46What Joe taught me, I will use forever
36:49I am actually on my way home and I am leaving you guys now
36:54Confidence, confidence, working together
36:57And remember the values you're teaching here
37:00Thank you
37:01You're welcome
37:02The experience with Joe was very enlightening
37:04We had a lot of fun with her
37:06Thumbs up, thanks a lot
37:07The Woochick family have made a lot of progress
37:10Tony and Tim now work together
37:12And the boys have discipline
37:14And I think overall the whole family
37:16Have a better appreciation of what they have
37:26I can now feel comfortable playing with all three kids at one time
37:31Oh, good job
37:34I guess I've proven to myself that I can do it
37:37And I really feel very optimistic
37:39I think you're going to like this
37:40I think what you need to do is just give it one try
37:43The whole experience was very fun, enlightening
37:46I really embraced Joe's comments
37:48Use your legs, use your legs
37:50And I learned a lot about myself in the process
37:53It's clear to me that my approach to behavior or discipline
37:56Is going to be much more focused
37:58Yay!
38:00I really feel that Bryce has come a long way
38:03I truly feel that he's starting to understand
38:06It's not his way, that it's mom and dad's way
38:09Boy, Bryce!
38:11I think they work better
38:12Knowing that they have boundaries
38:14I know over time it's going to help them
38:17Feel more confident about themselves
38:19It's been a tremendous amount of fun
38:20Oh!
38:23I just want to thank Joe for coming into our house
38:25I truly feel she saved our family
38:28We're going to be a happier family
38:30We're going to be a happier family
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