- 5/7/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, it's going, going, gone.
00:07Brad Sherwood.
00:08It's back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back.
00:10Wayne Brady.
00:11Kiss That Baby Goodbye.
00:12Colin Mockery.
00:14We win! We win!
00:16Bryan Styles!
00:18And Drew Carey, welcome to the show,
00:20playing on Science and Fun.
00:25Hello.
00:28Hello.
00:29Good evening, welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right, points are like underwear to Sharon Stone.
00:40Yeah, right.
00:42That's how I remembered it.
00:44And, uh...
00:46If you haven't seen the show before, what happens is,
00:48these guys are going to come up here and make up everything you see
00:50right off the top of their heads.
00:52And in between, uh, after that, after every game, I give them points.
00:56The points are just a gag to hold the show together.
00:58At the end of the show, we pick a winner.
01:02The winner gets a little something special with me.
01:04That's right.
01:05The losers realize they're not really losers after all.
01:16Let's start off with a game I like to call Weird Newscasters.
01:22This is for all four of you.
01:23Brad, in this game, you're going to be an anchorman of a news show.
01:26And Colin, you're the co-anchor.
01:28Colin...
01:30I didn't have a chance to look at these for a show, sorry.
01:32Uh, Colin is in the Tour de France.
01:36And Wayne, you're doing the sports.
01:38You're about to disturb a beehive.
01:41Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:43And you are fighting the inner urge to be a stripper.
01:47So, uh, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start.
01:59Good evening and welcome to the 630 News.
02:01I'm Chuck Flanksteak.
02:04Tragedy struck the Teletubbies this week when, during a camping trip,
02:07Dipsy and Lala were mauled to death by bears.
02:13And now, on a lighter note, the political desk.
02:16Please welcome our political analyst, Harry Lamshanks.
02:20Harry?
02:22Bonjour!
02:23Tell us about the political desk.
02:29Yes, I'm telling!
02:30It's too hard to catch my breath, because it...
02:33Oh, damn hill!
02:42Oh, it's a criminal!
02:43And flat!
02:45Well, while you fix that tire, we'll go to the sports.
02:48Uh, well, before we get to the sports, how about a little treat, huh?
02:50Mmm, okay.
02:53Do do do, do ba-do-do.
02:55Ba-do-do-do-do-do, da-da-blum.
02:57butter.
02:58It appears that the Oakland Raiders...
02:59Ow!
03:00Whoo!
03:01Okay.
03:02That's...that's great.
03:03It appears that the Oakland Raiders have, uh...
03:04Have-have signed an agreement, no...
03:06Mmm!
03:07Mmm...
03:08That's good.
03:12Mmm!
03:13Mmm!
03:14Mmm!
03:15That's fine...
03:17Mmm!
03:18Mmm!
03:19Mmm!
03:20Mmm!
03:21Well, I guess we won't be seeing T-Bone at that Charlotte Hornets game.
03:31Let's go find out what it's like in the weather, because, boy, it is hot out there.
03:34Hot as a blazes, when will this heat wave ever end?
03:37And now let's check the weather desk with Chip Beef on Toast.
03:41As you can see, it's hot all over the Northwest.
03:46All over the Northwest.
03:47And if we check on down south here, it's getting a little down south here, a little bit different.
03:57We should expect some fog for the weekend, but the fog will be clearing up by Monday.
04:03The fog will be clearing up by Monday, and that's where it'll be done.
04:07And we've got some sunny breaks on the weekend.
04:12On the weekend, it'll be coming around.
04:14So, looking ahead to next week.
04:16Next week should be just fine, and that's the way we should have it for next week.
04:21And getting back to you, and that's the way it is.
04:29Thank you for that scintillating weather report, Chip.
04:32Stay tuned now for the Tinky Winky and Poe Show.
04:35Good night.
04:35Good night.
04:35Yeah, you want to know the scary part about the whole thing?
04:46I've seen Ryan naked.
04:48Not for free.
04:50No, but I found the price.
04:55Yeah, it was great.
04:56Thousand points of view.
04:56Let's go on to a game called Duet.
04:58This is for Brad and Wayne.
05:00With the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on guitar.
05:14What's your name?
05:15What's your name?
05:16Dita.
05:17Dita, all her friends are pointing at her.
05:18She would say, no, no, no.
05:19What do you do for a living, Dita?
05:20Marketing.
05:21You're a marketer.
05:22What kind of stuff do you market?
05:23You're a marketing manager of what?
05:24What kind of stuff?
05:25Thermostats, controls.
05:26Sounds exciting.
05:29Why don't you come up and meet Brad and Wayne.
05:32Dina.
05:33Dina, this is Brad and Wayne.
05:35This is Dina.
05:39Dina, Brad and Wayne.
05:41And she's in the exciting field of marketing thermostats.
05:50So.
05:56So, Dina.
06:01Brad and Wayne.
06:03Brad and Wayne are going to sing to you in the style of a teen 1950s song.
06:08A teenage song.
06:09A 1950s song.
06:10Go ahead.
06:11Whenever you're ready to go.
06:11Oh, listen to me, girl.
06:26You hit the spot.
06:29When you turn my thermometer up and you make me hot.
06:32I want you to change the heat on the thermostats.
06:43Because when my temperature goes up, my blood pressure goes way down.
06:49And I'm a guy who needs your love or I am going to drown.
06:54Oh, Dina, listen to what I say.
07:00You markin' all those things with a conditioner.
07:03Oh, you make me caliente.
07:05Oh, Dina, Dina, lady.
07:08I don't care if you're Celsius or Fahrenheit.
07:14I do Dina, Dina.
07:19I do Dina, I do Dina.
07:22I do Dina.
07:23I do Dina, I do Dina.
07:29Steve, is that your boyfriend with you?
07:45Fiancé.
07:45Fiancé.
07:46Yeah.
07:46All right.
07:48Yeah.
07:49thousand points if you answer okay let's go on to a game called who's line thank you our crack
07:59staff at work believe it or not we actually do have a game called who's line on the show this
08:03is for Colin and Ryan and before the show we asked the audience to write some stuff down one of the
08:07things is random lines this is going to be on the official Ryan's this is Collins take those things
08:12out those are random lines that's put in their pocket and they're going to make up a scene and
08:15during the scene they're going to insert those lines the scene is Ryan is Obi-Wan Kenobi and
08:22you're training Colin who's Luke Skywalker to be a Jedi Knight so go ahead let's try it one more time
08:28this is the church I'm not getting it master I'm not getting it I can't teach you you will not learn
08:37from me how will this help me fight the dark forces the Jedi's have a saying and it goes simply like
08:43this from now on I want to be known as Helen what kind of name is Obi-Wan Kenobi call me Helen Kenobi
08:55Helen Kenobi no just Helen your ways are strange to me but I need you if I'm to fight Darth I
09:03I thought yours is bigger than that as I grow old the light grows dimmer I read the Jedi handbook you
09:15gave me yes I was a little confused by page one you know where it said my shorts are on fire it helps you
09:24to use the force yes you can never be trained open the door seal the ball you'll never I have not got
09:35long left I will I'll die soon people will say things about me I don't want you to believe them
09:46when people talk of me I want you to look straight into their eyes and tell them don't miss the Drew
09:52Carey show Wednesday nights on ABC wait wait there's more give the tall guy more lines
10:03it may not make sense to you now but as you become a Jedi it will all become clear oh thank you Helen
10:13wise I don't know if I can get used to that I'm off to fight the forces of evil Luke good luck to
10:25you I can I just run by my battle cry as you run as you fight the evil Lord Vader I'll turn on my
10:33lightsaber look him straight in the helmet and Helen to make you proud I will yell out
10:43the Canadians the Canadians are coming the Canadians
10:45the Canadians are coming all right don't go away we'll be right back Mark who's going to go anyway
10:54over this come by anyway welcome back to who's liners in anyway the show where everything's made up and
11:06the points don't matter it doesn't matter like what's in this cup what do you care what I'm drinking
11:09now let's go on to a game called party quirks this is for everybody Brad you're gonna be hosting a party
11:16and Wayne Collin and Ryan are gonna be the guests but each of them has been given a strange quirk right
11:21in anyway and once you guys line up over there I'll bring you in one at a time at the doorbell
11:24and Brad whenever you're ready start the party oh guess I'll open the door
11:29careful my neighbors will call the police if we make so much noise
11:48hold on pardon me hey are you ready for this
11:56today I just sat there I watched the four of them perform for me in such a way I didn't think I'd be
12:09able to walk
12:11hello hey Brad thanks for inviting me hey Chip let's go
12:17hey Brad
12:19could I come in
12:23come on in
12:25hurry up I gotta close the door
12:27come on
12:29get in the house
12:31I see the other guests have arrived
12:33get it
12:34don't let him in what are you letting him in for
12:36oh I thought you'd be here
12:38get in
12:40get in
12:41get in the house
12:42all right
12:44hey come on over have some dip right here
12:46the beer was flat so I fired everyone who worked for the company
12:54ladies ladies ladies and gentlemen gentlemen I'm stage one one one one
12:58would need another
12:59stage two two two two two
13:01ah
13:05ooh
13:06weeee
13:07it's ringling brothers circus
13:09no it's not
13:10poof
13:11it's circus alert
13:12no
13:13it's the marching band championships
13:14no
13:15it's a parade
13:16no
13:16it's woodstock 99 before the fire
13:18no
13:19it's mardi gras
13:21no
13:22twee
13:23it's carnival
13:24no
13:25It's what do you what's another big thing that they have in New Orleans? Sometimes it's 10 marching bands in it
13:37That one seems so obvious I just threw it away
13:42How come you guys never invite me to your parties Collins my favorite
13:48You better stop reading drew carries journal
13:55Well, I'd like to stay longer, but I don't want to be the last one here
14:01Hey, I'm taking away your valium
14:09You're not leaving before me well, I am if I can help it all night
14:13Let him leave let the speedy one leave. I want to keep you. I want to make some soup
14:25A thousand points to Colin for leaving out the juicy parts
14:33Appreciate that pal let me tell you and let's go on a game called scenes from a hat so all four of you
14:39Brian and Colin over there Brad Wayne over here
14:40We got this hat here and before each show we ask the audience to write down different scenes
14:45They'd like to see and we put the good ones in this hat
14:48You know because a lot of them are good and I'm gonna read out these suggestions and see how many the performers connect out
14:54So let's see
14:58Rejected ending rejected endings for the blockbuster movie. I could just say movie rejected endings for the movie Titanic
15:08I'm king of the squirrels
15:16Rose promise me that you I can stand up
15:24Welcome Rose. My name's Gilligan. This is a profession
15:33All right
15:35Personal messages you'd like to see flying from the back of an airplane
15:41Help the engines on fire
15:43If you can read this you're driving too close
15:57All right
15:57Bad songs to sing in prison
16:08So who's the slightly effeminate one that's me
16:11Who dropped the soap who dropped the soap
16:22Jim's escaping through the hole in the wall the hole in the
16:25With the wig you remind me of julia
16:33julia
16:39Oh man
16:51You sounded so sincere when you were saying that
16:55That was really great
16:58Inappropriate first date greetings
17:02Hi damn they're big
17:11Hello mr. Johnson i've come to fondle your daughter
17:13I'll satisfy you but it could kill you
17:27Okay
17:30What he's thinking while he's kissing you
17:35Damn those are big
17:36Okay
17:41The giants are on at three o'clock eastern turn
17:47She couldn't have eaten skunk
17:56Man the things you gotta do to get on whose line
17:59Bad parental motivational speeches
18:10Do you want to end up like me
18:22A teacher a teacher honey prostitutes make twice that money
18:29I'm gonna be right back
18:30I'm gonna be right back
18:30We're gonna be right after this message
18:38Hey welcome back to who finds it down the way
18:40Thoughts winner wayne brady
18:41Wayne brady's the winner
18:44Uh just see you guys lost
18:46You're gonna do a game with me
18:47Our favorite game in the whole world
18:48Right Ryan
18:49Love it baby
18:50Hold down yeah
18:53Laura hall on the piano
18:54Laura hall
18:57What I mean to the audience is a suggestion of a type or group of people you hate
19:04Cable guys we'll make it the cable company or the cable guy
19:07So let's do the cable company hoedown
19:10Laura hall whenever you're ready
19:11I had to wait for cable installation the whole day
19:22It really made me mad that for tv I must pay
19:26So when he came to the door what did he see
19:29I was wearing a negligee and I got cable for free
19:33Oh you might think it's risky for a guy like me
19:44To be making fun of the cable company
19:48Won't that cost you lots of money
19:51No cause I'm not on cable I'm on ABC
20:03With my new cable I have a lot of choice
20:07Some of it makes me happy some of it makes me moist
20:10Gee it's a lot of fun I'm happy as a mouse
20:13Now all day I can see full house
20:21I really hate my cable guy he makes me wait all day
20:25There is one guy that I really don't want to pay
20:29Then one sunny day I really got my wish
20:33I murdered my cable guy and then I got a dish
20:36Then I got a dish
20:40Welcome back to Who's Lines and Anyway
20:50We're going to end the show tonight with Wayne delivering the credits
20:52Wayne I want you to deliver credits as the general giving a gung-ho pep talk to his troops
20:56Just before going into battle yes sir
20:57Good night everybody see you next time
20:59All right now Dan Patterson and Mark Levinson are waiting on the other side
21:03Dan Patterson and Dennis and Jimmy Mopahill killed him
21:06Bruce Gowers we can't kill him and I've crossed the Drew Carey but I have not seen the Brad
21:13Don't shoot until you see Lionel Max
21:16Then I want the tanks to come
21:17Where the hell you going
21:21I'll kill you
21:23Brad Zerbs will have your head
21:25Sweetwater production ABC
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