- 4/29/2025
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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Live? Is it Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, Look! The Bat Signal, Brad Sherwood, Holy Fire Escape,
00:10Wayne Brady, To The Bat Poles, Colin Montgomery, and if I could just reach my
00:16Ryan Stiles! And I'm your host for care,
00:20Ryan Stiles! Hello! Hello!
00:30Welcome to Who's Live? Is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right, the points here are just for appearances only, just like my gym bag.
00:36And if you've never saw the show before, what happens is these guys come up,
00:41they're gonna make up everything you see right in front of you, right from the top of their heads.
00:44And at the end of the night, we pick a winner, and they get to do a little something special with me.
00:48Well...
00:52What the heck, so does a loser.
00:57So let's start it off and see how it goes with a game called...
01:00Let's Make a Date. This is for all four of you.
01:02Wayne, you're gonna be appearing on a dating-type show.
01:04Ryan, Colin, and Brad, our contestants, hoping to be picked by Wayne.
01:07Probably giving them each a strange characteristic or identity.
01:09It's written on these cards here. They've never seen any cards before.
01:11And Wayne has to guess who they are based on what they act out for him.
01:15Whenever you're ready, Wayne, go.
01:17Bats are number one.
01:18Yes.
01:20I...
01:21There's nothing sexier to me than a man who enjoys being physically fit.
01:29To keep in shape, I climb pyramids in Giza. What do you do?
01:33I suck the souls out of human beings just for fun in the darkness.
01:38You sound like a one-man party. Hey!
01:53That's the number two?
01:55Yes.
01:56Yes.
01:57I think there's nothing, nothing more important to a relationship than two people communicating.
02:03How would you communicate to me if I needed someone to talk to me?
02:06That's a good question.
02:07Mm-hmm.
02:08I'd like to communicate in a way where you wouldn't misunderstand my message.
02:12Right.
02:13After cleaning all day and everything.
02:17Just get some rap.
02:18Life starts at 40!
02:19Life starts at 40!
02:20Life starts at 40!
02:24Life starts at 40!
02:41Bats are number three?
02:42Yes.
02:43Hi.
02:44Hi.
02:45I love...
02:46I love eating marshmallows.
02:48I'm sorry?
02:49I love eating marshmallows.
02:51What's your favorite food and why?
02:53It doesn't really matter because every time I cook it, I end up eating alone by myself.
02:58Why can't someone be home on time for a change?
03:08No one in particular, just in general.
03:10Why can't someone?
03:12You've got issues.
03:14Bats are number one.
03:15If my car broke down, how would you get me to work?
03:18I'd get you there.
03:19Oh, I hope you're my type.
03:20Oh, I hope you're my type.
03:21Oh, I'm positive you're my type.
03:23Yeah.
03:24Alright.
03:25That's good.
03:29Yeah!
03:30Hahaha!
03:31Yeah!
03:34Bachelor number two?
03:36Yes.
03:37I love to go salsa dancing on a Sunday.
03:38Bachelor number two?
03:44Yes?
03:45I love to go salsa dancing on a Sunday.
03:47What do you like to do on a Sunday?
03:49Well...
03:51Dessert's up!
03:57For God's sake, can't you even try a little bit?
04:04Oh, it's...
04:10Stop it.
04:23Bachelor number three?
04:24What?
04:26I think gifts are such an important expression
04:28of how one feels.
04:30I would give you a teddy bear.
04:31What would you give me?
04:32I wouldn't know.
04:33I've never had a gift bought for me before.
04:35I don't know what...
04:36I heard that!
04:40I heard that!
04:41Oh, you make...
04:42I'm sorry.
04:43I'm sorry.
04:44Oh!
04:45Oh!
04:46Oh!
04:47Oh!
04:48Oh!
04:49Oh!
04:50Oh!
04:51Oh!
04:52Oh!
04:53Oh!
04:54Oh!
04:55Oh!
04:56Oh!
04:57Oh!
04:58Oh!
04:59Oh!
05:00Oh!
05:01Oh!
05:02Oh!
05:03Oh!
05:04Oh!
05:05Oh!
05:06Oh!
05:07Oh!
05:08Oh!
05:09Oh!
05:10Oh!
05:11Well, Wayne, I know it's gonna be tough.
05:13Oh, yeah.
05:14Bachelor number one, uh, is...
05:17is Count Dracula.
05:18Yes.
05:19Or a vampire.
05:20Yes.
05:21Bachelor number two, Colin, is...
05:25a woman hitting her mid-life crisis trying to be attractive to her husband.
05:30Well, uh, yeah, that's a good job.
05:34Bachelor number three is my last girlfriend.
05:39I'll give that to you, because it says here
05:41Ryan is having a big fight with his boyfriend backstage.
05:52A lot of people don't know that,
05:53but that's what Lewis and Oswald sound like
05:55when the cameras are off.
05:58Okay, let's go on to a game.
05:59Let's go on to a game called News Flash.
06:03This is for Brad, Colin, and Ryan.
06:04Brad and Colin, they're going to be two anchors in the studio.
06:07Ryan, they're going to be in the field as the reporter
06:09covering a breaking news story.
06:10What happens is he's in front of a thing called a green screen.
06:13And what happens, if you never saw that before,
06:14what happens is he can turn around and see nothing but green.
06:16That's all he can ever see behind him.
06:17But on your television screens and on the monitors here,
06:20we see an image that Ryan can't see,
06:22because he can only see the green.
06:23And Colin and Brad are going to give him hints,
06:25and we'll see if he can guess what's behind him
06:26as the thing goes on.
06:28Go ahead, take it away whenever you're ready.
06:28So the parrot says, Polly want a cracker.
06:34Oh, oh, we're getting an instant bulletin.
06:36Yes, we're going out to the field
06:38for the latest breaking news story with Ryan Stiles.
06:41Ryan, can you hear us?
06:42Yes, I can hear you.
06:46I can hear you, although there is a lot of noise here.
06:49It does seem so.
06:51Can you tell us what's going on?
06:54I'm sorry?
06:55I said, can you tell us what's going on?
06:57Careful, Ryan.
06:58Careful.
06:59Well, as you can see, this started about three hours ago.
07:03And it doesn't look like there's any end in sight.
07:05I got caught in the middle of it for about five minutes
07:08and worked my way out.
07:10Now, you seem to be blending in quite well.
07:14I'm a reporter.
07:15Do you understand the nature of things out there?
07:20Well, yes, it all started when word got out
07:22that the Olsen twins aren't actually twins.
07:25Really?
07:25And then you can see what's happening now.
07:27It's just getting worse every minute.
07:30Although I hear they're going to try to call...
07:33Now, do you think this sort of thing
07:35is going to get anybody's seal of approval?
07:37Uh, I doubt it.
07:39I doubt it at all.
07:40I mean, what you see happening here,
07:41I mean, they're trying to call it off around midnight,
07:44but it's not going to stop.
07:45I mean, uh, look at that.
07:48We'll just see what washes up on shore.
07:50Yes, as you can see, I've got my shoes off.
07:52It's very sandy here.
07:54I found...
07:54Careful, careful.
07:55Oh!
07:56Look out, Mr. Kevin.
07:57There seems to be some excitement there.
08:03There seems to be someone new joining the party.
08:07So what's your favorite Beatles song?
08:09Uh, my favorite Beatles song, uh...
08:11I can't really mention it on the air.
08:14We'd have to pay money.
08:15Oh!
08:16Goo-goo-ka-choo thinking.
08:18Yes, but this one here is really getting on my nerves.
08:22Oh, right behind you.
08:23Right there.
08:24Yeah.
08:24Now, carefully.
08:27Well, have you ever seen a big seal?
08:38Uh, go ahead and take a guess.
08:40A hockey game.
08:43Very close.
08:44Seals on the beach.
08:44A seal that never forgets would be a...
08:46Or eats peanuts would be a...
08:47It would be an elephant seal.
08:48Yes!
08:48Yes!
08:48A thousand points.
08:57Wish I could remember why, but I can't.
08:59A thousand points apiece.
09:01Okay, let's go on to a game called Title Sequence.
09:03This is for all four of you.
09:04And with...
09:05Oh, Andrew and Cece.
09:11Okay.
09:12Brad and Wayne are going to sing the title song to a made-up TV sitcom.
09:15And Ryan and Colin are going to act out the opening sequence.
09:18What we need is two unlikely roommates.
09:22Two people who wouldn't be roommates.
09:24Maybe we're Hillary and Monica.
09:26Maybe we're...
09:27Hillary and Monica.
09:29Okay.
09:33Hillary and Monica.
09:35Two sitcom roommates you probably never see together.
09:38Take it away, Brad and Wayne.
09:42One's a first lady, the other's a tramp.
09:45One's a licking stance.
09:48It's Hillary and Monica Lewinsky.
09:52She was so easy to please.
09:56Even when she tripped and fell to her knees.
09:59Oh, yes, I'm not talking about the first lady.
10:04Hillary and Monica.
10:07Hillary and Monica.
10:09Hillary and Monica.
10:11They're two of a kind.
10:13They seem the same behind.
10:14Oh, jeez.
10:15Oh, jeez.
10:16Oh, jeez.
10:17Oh, jeez.
10:17Oh, jeez.
10:18Oh, jeez.
10:18Oh, jeez.
10:18Oh, jeez.
10:19Oh, jeez.
10:19Oh, jeez.
10:20Oh, jeez.
10:20Oh, jeez.
10:20Oh, jeez.
10:21Oh, jeez.
10:21Oh, jeez.
10:22Oh, jeez.
10:23Oh, jeez.
10:24Oh, jeez.
10:25Oh, jeez.
10:26Oh, jeez.
10:27Oh, jeez.
10:28Oh, jeez.
10:29All right.
10:30We'll be right back with more Who's Mine Is It Anyway?
10:32Don't go away.
10:37Welcome back.
10:38Now we're going to get the hot glue gun out
10:40and turn that old lamp into something special.
10:45Let's go out of a game called, uh, Who's Line?
10:49This is for Colin and Ryan.
10:50This is for Colin and Ryan.
10:51Uh, what happens before the show, Colin, Ryan.
10:54Uh, so we have the audience write down suggestions for things.
10:56And one of the things we have them write down is suggestions for, uh, random lines that
11:00they'd, uh, like to hear.
11:01And, uh, and they have to use these lines.
11:02They don't know what they are yet.
11:03They have to use these lines during the, uh, scene.
11:05I'll just pull them out of the bucket and read them.
11:07And, uh, the scene is an ugly hunchback Quasimodo played by...
11:19Played by Ryan.
11:25I'm the girl, right?
11:26Yeah, of course.
11:27You're always the girl.
11:29You're always the girl.
11:30We don't have a girl on.
11:31Uh, ugly hunchback Quasimodo played by Ryan is just rescued and taken to his bell tower.
11:35The beautiful French gypsy girl Esmeralda played by Colin as an angry mob forms outside.
11:41So go ahead and use your lines.
11:43Can I get you a drink?
11:45Merci.
11:46Oh, you're French.
11:47Oui.
11:48No, just you.
11:49I'm Dutch.
11:50Oh, no.
11:51Oh, I see.
11:54I've looked at you for many a year now.
11:56I see you down there every day.
11:58Sometimes I yell to you, things, strange things.
12:01Well, yesterday you were down there and I yelled, Esmeralda!
12:05I had no idea you were inflatable!
12:18Please don't yell out, my little misshapen toad.
12:23Well, confidentially.
12:31I thought there was something different about you.
12:33Yes.
12:34When I first saw you swinging from the bell tower, I looked at you and I said to myself,
12:38Sorry, that's the beer talking.
12:42Yes.
12:43I tell you, after a few beers, even you look good.
12:46You're quite a drinker.
12:47I've seen you before.
12:51I hear strange noises at night.
12:53It may be the angry mob trying to break in.
12:55It probably is.
12:56They probably want my secret gypsy dance.
12:58I'll protect you.
12:59If they burst through this door, I'll yell, Stop!
13:03Let's get jiggy with it!
13:14I can get jiggy with the best of them.
13:16Oh, I know.
13:17I've seen you.
13:18Twice on Sundays.
13:20You are so beautiful.
13:22Look in my mirror.
13:25Over this way.
13:26All you can see is me there.
13:27Hey, look!
13:28Look how beautiful you are.
13:30I am beautiful, but you know what?
13:32You are beautiful too.
13:33No, don't look at me.
13:34Don't look at me.
13:35Oh no, of course.
13:36I am not.
13:37I didn't mean on the outside.
13:41No.
13:42No.
13:43No, I am ugly.
13:45I don't want you to-
13:46Oh no, no, you're hideous, but inside.
13:49Inside where it counts you're beautiful.
13:51Inside me and my heart.
13:52You know I'm a poet.
13:53You?
13:54Yes.
13:55And you are very, very beautiful.
13:58Would you write a poem for me?
14:00Yes, I will.
14:02Quasimodo...
14:04Dentsen...
14:05Call me Quasimodo.
14:07Oh, I'm sorry.
14:08It's alright.
14:11Little Toad Man.
14:14Bent all hunched.
14:16Looking for the world to see.
14:18You have so much inner beauty, hee hee.
14:23You carry makes me hot.
14:24I'm sorry.
14:28Good God, sir.
14:34Oh, yeah.
14:37Well, you know what?
14:38I make me hot, too.
14:41A thousand points for me.
14:42A thousand points for me.
14:49Look what I have right here.
14:50This is one of my favorite games that we ever play.
14:52It's called Scenes from a Hat.
14:53We use this patriotic United States freedom of speech hat.
14:57And, uh...
14:58What we do is we ask the audience before the show
14:59to write down suggestions for something,
15:01and we take the good ones and we put them in this hat.
15:03Scenes they'd like to see.
15:04And we have to see how many of these guys can think up.
15:06Uh...
15:07The secret double lives of Who's Line cast members.
15:10Let's start with that.
15:12I'm Colin Mockery.
15:19I'm Brad Sherwood.
15:20I'm Brad Sherwood.
15:31Posts you'll never see on a church bulletin board.
15:36Hey, Satan's teaching a Taibo class.
15:42No collection this week.
15:43He has come and gone on.
15:44He's come and gone.
15:45You know, you might see that notice.
15:46Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:47Not careful.
15:48Hobbies of the stupid.
15:49Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:51Oh!
15:52Oh!
15:53Oh!
15:54Oh!
15:55Oh!
15:56Oh!
15:57Oh!
15:58Oh!
15:59Oh!
16:00Oh!
16:01Oh!
16:02Oh!
16:03Oh!
16:04Oh!
16:05Oh!
16:06Oh!
16:07Oh!
16:08Oh!
16:09Oh!
16:10Oh!
16:11Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:13Oh!
16:28America's Least Popular Monuments.
16:32Come over here, folks, and you'll see the Statue of Puberty.
16:35Over here, folks, you'll see Viagra Falls.
16:38Oh!
16:39Oh!
16:40Oh!
16:41Oh!
16:42Oh!
16:43Oh!
16:44Oh!
16:45Oh!
16:46Oh!
16:47Oh!
16:48Oh!
16:49Oh!
16:50Oh!
16:51Oh!
16:52Oh!
16:53Oh!
16:54Oh!
16:55Oh!
16:56Oh!
16:57Oh!
16:59Oh!
17:00Oh, oh!
17:01Oh!
17:02Oh!
17:04That is mean, areas.
17:06bueno!
17:07Oh!
17:08Here's an expo thing for you.
17:10Libby-la-la, libby-la-la, libby-la-la, libby-la-la.
17:21What models say to, oh man, like we would know.
17:24What models say to each other as they pass on the runway?
17:28Did you see Brad Sherwood on Who's Line?
17:30He's so cute.
17:31Guess what?
17:40I kept some food down today.
17:47I just ate a pee.
17:48I feel like I weighed 10,000 pounds.
17:56My back just broke.
18:01I'm lost.
18:07I'm lost.
18:07I don't know where I'm going.
18:16Documentary subjects you'll never see.
18:20Today we're going to show you how to catch a bullet.
18:22Oh, hey.
18:27Don't go away.
18:31Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway.
18:38Tonight's winner is Brad Sherwood.
18:40Brad Sherwood, let's make him the winner.
18:41Who cares?
18:43There's no winner.
18:44There's no points.
18:45It's all a big scam.
18:46Just like the elections.
18:47Now, what we're going to do is we're going to do a little game for you called the Hoedown.
18:50And with the help of Laura Hall on the piano, Laura Hall.
18:52What I do for the audience is the type of authority figure that you fear.
19:05Probation officer.
19:07Probation officer.
19:08Let's do the probation officer hoedown.
19:10Take it away.
19:11Laura Hall, whatever you're ready.
19:12Probation officer hoedown.
19:14Here's a little fact that I think you ought to know
19:25I got out of jail about two months ago
19:28I'm stuck in my house all alone
19:32Because of this bracelet, I can never leave my home
19:35My idea of fun is to go to Alabama
19:43To see all my friends who are stuck there in the slammer
19:47Then I find a frog or a tadpole
19:51And I take them into a room
19:53And I violate parole
20:03I forgot the probation officer
20:05He's not very tough
20:06He doesn't have that many rules
20:08My life is not that rough
20:10Life is pretty easy
20:12If you know what I mean
20:14Because my probation officer
20:16Is Charlie Sheen
20:18My officer wants me
20:23To go back to jail
20:25I thought I was scot-free
20:27I thought that I'd made bail
20:29When I go back
20:31I know that I will do life
20:33The really bad part is that I'm everybody's wife
20:36I'm everybody's wife
20:40Hey, we'll be right back with our Who's On after this
20:44Don't go away
20:45Hey, welcome back to Who's On is it anyway
20:50Tonight we're going to have all these guys read the credits for you to end the show
20:53I want you to read the credits as two neighboring families arguing over the fence
20:57Good night everybody
20:58Thanks for watching
20:58Keep your Dan Patterson out of our yard
21:03Yeah, well, you know what
21:04If you're Jimmy Mulvill
21:05They'll even poop all over him
21:06Are you going to tell him I'm going to call the town parks
21:08You can't see the other forest through the trees
21:11Get his Eric Wilker
21:15I'm sticking Keith Richmond on you
21:19Hey, I think about Kelly right there
21:27Hey, I think about Kelly right there
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