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  • 4/29/2025

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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, The Colonel's Secret Recipe, Brad Sherwood.
00:09The home of the Whopper, Wayne Brady.
00:11Did someone say Colin Mochrie?
00:13And here, tall guy, tall guy, tall guy, Ryan Stiles!
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on down, let's have some fun.
00:27Hello.
00:27Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right, the points are like the Swiss Army.
00:37They don't mean a thing.
00:38Let's start it off with a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles.
00:42This is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
00:44What happens is they're going to have to act out a scene for you,
00:46and we're going to make them adapt different styles of television, theater, or film.
00:51Now, you're going to suggest I need some of your favorite styles of film, theater, or television.
00:54I'm serious.
00:55I'm talking about it.
00:56A scene, a performance artist.
00:58We've got slapstick.
01:00High school.
01:01High school.
01:02Oh, a high school play.
01:02Yeah, that's good.
01:03After school special.
01:04Mine.
01:06After school special.
01:09That's good.
01:10Now, what we're going to do is we're guys are going to start out normally.
01:12And I'll come in with these styles after you get started.
01:17The scene is Ryan and Wayne are two lumberjacks clearing a forest to make way for a new freeway.
01:22They're confronted by a protester, Colin, who has chained himself to a tree.
01:28Go ahead, sir.
01:29That one's down.
01:35This is taking too long.
01:40Save the trees.
01:41Save the trees.
01:42Save the trees.
01:43Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:47High school play.
01:50Why?
01:59The trees are our friends, whether they be deciduous or conifer.
02:11Uh, Xena.
02:17Sugar.
02:21Sugar.
02:23Ow!
02:33After-school special.
02:35Dude, I've been shot.
02:40You know why, man?
02:41Because you're hanging out with the wrong crowd.
02:44People don't kill people. Trees kill people.
02:48Look, I don't need you to lecture me.
02:50Yeah, I know he has a gun, but I still love him.
02:58Mine.
03:14Uh, performance art.
03:20Bung!
03:24The tree.
03:27Bung!
03:28The tree that grows must be cut.
03:41When the new tree is cut,
03:44other seeds will be planted,
03:46and new trees will grow.
03:48Thank you very much.
03:52That brought a tear to my eye.
03:54I'll give you a thousand points apiece.
03:56Okay, we're gonna continue on with a game called Film Dub.
04:00This is for Ryan, Colin, and Brad.
04:02What's gonna happen is that we're gonna show them a little clip of a movie.
04:04We've removed the sound.
04:05So it's just like watching something on TV with the sound down.
04:06And, uh, they have to supply the words to all the characters in the little movie there.
04:08And the scene I'd like you to improvise is waiting for the call to action.
04:10Waiting for the call to action.
04:11I can't wait till they finish building this outhouse.
04:12Uh, this is...
04:13I can't wait till they finish building this outhouse.
04:14Man, I tell you this is the best war I've ever been involved in.
04:17Potatoes.
04:18Oh, look.
04:19Hey!
04:20Something's wrong with my legs.
04:21You don't tell them his legs are gone, and I won't either.
04:22No.
04:23I won't go to be a place to be a place to be a place,
04:24to be a place to be a place to be a place to be a place to be a place.
04:27No, no, no.
04:28No, no, no, no.
04:29No, no, no.
04:30No, no, no, no, no, no!
04:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:33No, no, no, no, no.
04:35No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:36No, no, no, no.
04:42We keep it to ourselves, understand?
04:44Hope you can't hear me.
04:45Look, I've got something to replace the leg.
04:51Yeah, I agree.
04:53Have you guys seen my shoes?
04:56Look what I've got, a leg.
04:57And if you get hungry, you can have a bit.
05:00Hey, you know.
05:01Why don't we all have a bit?
05:03You try this, please.
05:05I don't want any.
05:06Whatever you do, don't give me any,
05:08because I just like it.
05:09No, here, have some toes.
05:12Mmm, tastes like me.
05:16Hey, what's in there?
05:20We're going to make his other leg out of this.
05:31Cannibalism.
05:31Boy, nothing brings a smile to America's face.
05:35Like cannibalism.
05:36Okay, let's go on to a game called Quick Change.
05:37This is for all four players.
05:39Brad, Ryan, and Colin are going to act on a scene,
05:41but remember, Wayne interrupts by saying change.
05:44They have to change what they just said.
05:45The scene is, Ryan is the president
05:48who is meeting with Brad, an army general,
05:50in a crisis situation.
05:52Colin is the president's...
05:54Girlfriend?
05:55Wife.
05:55Oh.
05:56...who comes in.
06:00So, go ahead and take it away.
06:02Change.
06:03I've drawn up some plans, Mr. President.
06:04I think that you can see that this is the main theater of war.
06:07Change.
06:08Look at this.
06:08I've drawn a picture on a placemat.
06:10It's you in a canoe.
06:10Change.
06:11How about this lovely photograph of me with the Teletubbies?
06:14Change.
06:16I've laminated a large picture of a postage stamp,
06:18what you might look like when you're old and dead.
06:21I don't really think you're much of an advisor.
06:24I was thinking of hiring someone else.
06:26I'm a general.
06:27You can't kick me out of here.
06:28I don't need a general.
06:29What I need is a strategist.
06:31Change.
06:31I don't need a general.
06:32What I need is a masseuse.
06:33Change.
06:34I don't need a general.
06:34What I need is Gary Coleman.
06:39Honey, what's happening?
06:40I heard the ruckus all the way...
06:42Change.
06:43What's going on?
06:45Honey, I'm sorry.
06:46We didn't mean to wake you up out of bed.
06:48That's all right.
06:49I was in the Lincoln bedroom just writing a book.
06:52Change.
06:52I was in the Lincoln bedroom...
06:54Change.
06:54I was outside pruning.
06:58I could hear you all the way from the garden.
07:01Mr. President, we have a war,
07:02and I know you want to meet a child television star from the 70s,
07:06but we have to get back to this battle plan.
07:08I can't tell this plan to the American people.
07:11Why not?
07:12Well, it's full of flaws.
07:14Look, this army is attacking Hawaii.
07:17Change.
07:18Why, the Salvation Army is attacking restaurants.
07:21Change.
07:21Why, uh, this is me going after Richard Simmons.
07:31What kind of plan is that?
07:32I work very hard on these plans.
07:34Oh, don't cry.
07:36Look, I've got a plan of my own.
07:39Change.
07:39Look, I've got a plan of my own.
07:41Change.
07:42Look, I've got a plan of my own.
07:44Change.
07:45Look, I've got a plan of my own.
07:47We don't need horses.
07:52Why does your horse have a door?
07:55It's a pinto.
07:57Oh.
07:59Change.
08:00It's a cougar.
08:02Eee!
08:03Change.
08:03It's a Mustang.
08:05Waka waka.
08:06Why do you men always insist on declaring war?
08:09Why can't we just live in peace?
08:10Change.
08:10Why can't we all just sing a rousing song of Kumbaya?
08:14Change.
08:14Why can't we make a nice felt marker out of twigs and a popular cola?
08:19Why can't we just walk in a circle, crack like a duck, and pretend it's...
08:25Hey!
08:26I'm staying out of this.
08:36That was great.
08:37A million points to each of you.
08:40A million points to each of you.
08:41Let's move along with a game called Motown Group.
08:44This is for Brad, Wayne, and Ryan.
08:45Yeah.
08:45Yeah.
08:49And what's going to happen is they're going to sing the song as a Motown group, and they're
08:54going to be helped out with Laura, Linda, and Cece.
08:56They're going to all help them out.
08:57And, uh...
08:58What I need from the audience is a suggestion of a, uh, a physical-type job.
09:04Oh, you know what?
09:05Oh, you know what?
09:07Let's do Lumberjack.
09:09Uh, you'll be singing the song, Do the Lumberjack, as a Motown group.
09:15Get busy, man.
09:17Go ahead and get busy with it.
09:18Woo!
09:19Woo!
09:20Ha!
09:23Come on!
09:24Now, ever since I've been chopping down trees, I've been a believer.
09:28Yeah.
09:29I get busy minding things like I am a big beaver.
09:35The best part of being a lumberjack, I carry an axe.
09:40And when I'm finished working, I rub their backs, cause I'm a lumberjack, cause I'm a
09:49lumberjack.
09:50I love the guy who cuts down every tree that he sees, chopping every tree.
09:56After all, who needs that many trees, many trees?
10:02You can bet I'm a guy, you can call a friend, don't you know I'm Canadian?
10:08Chopper trees, chopper, chopper, hey, chopper, oh yeah, chopper, chopper.
10:14Well, I'm chopping down the trees, and I really give a shout and say it's timber.
10:19Timber!
10:20Yeah!
10:21Because you know I am a lumberjack, I'm wearing flannel, and I'm a limber.
10:25Yeah!
10:27And if you want to see me chopping for a little bit more, I'll chop a big ol' tree on down
10:31until it's just a two by four, cause I'm a suckerjack.
10:35All right, LJ, we'll be right back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway, right after this
10:49Spoke Away.
10:50Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points
10:56don't matter.
10:57Hey, listen, if you want to play the Who's Line Is It Anyway game at home, all you gotta
11:01do is send us $2,000 and we'll send you a desk and four stools.
11:06Next game is called If You Know What I Mean.
11:11This is for Brad and Colin, and then Ryan's gonna be joining later.
11:14In this game, the performers are preparing for an annual event, some kind of holiday.
11:18And they can only talk in euphemisms and cliches.
11:20I wonder if the audience is something that happens once a year.
11:27Back to school!
11:28Back to school time, and now go ahead and speak in euphemisms, and Ryan will join you
11:34later.
11:35I've gotta go get some more loose leaf paper, if you know what I mean.
11:38I do.
11:39I'm gonna get ready to clap my brushes.
11:42By the way...
11:43If you know what I mean.
11:44I saw your three-hole punch.
11:47Very impressive, if you know what I mean.
11:49Oh, thank you.
11:51What are you gonna be taking this year?
11:53Algebra.
11:54You get what I'm saying.
11:56Hey, sorry I'm late.
11:58I had to let the kids out for recess, if you know what I mean.
12:01Oh!
12:02Well, your term's almost up, if you know what I mean.
12:08No, I don't know what you mean.
12:12Do you?
12:13Not really.
12:14I knew there's gonna be a big dance before the school even starts.
12:17That way I can go...
12:19I'm gonna get a grainy picture to Loch Ness Monster, if you know what I mean.
12:22Yeah, I'm gonna go to any of these.
12:25Think I might go down later to the cafeteria and stuff the old butterball, if you know what
12:30I mean.
12:31Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
12:34That'll make the jello wiggle.
12:37Oh!
12:39Someone likes to put holidays on the asparagus a little too much, don't you?
12:42What?
12:43Hey, why are you getting your nose hairs in a burning trajectory over Moscow?
12:48Ha ha, I know what you mean.
12:50Hey, yeah, there's no reason to choke the nun, if you know what I mean.
12:53Hey, let's not make a fox special.
12:56If you know what I mean.
12:57I got your thousand points right here, if you know what I'm saying.
13:13So let's continue on with a game called Greatest Hits.
13:20This is for all four of you, with the help of Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, and Ceci Laurel.
13:26Colin and Ryan are gonna be talking about a compilation album they're gonna try to sell to you, and they're gonna make up the names of the songs, and Rainy Brad are gonna try to sing snippets of the songs.
13:36What we need for the audience is a job where you wear a uniform.
13:41Uh, you know, a wrestler, you wear a uniform.
13:46So let's do that.
13:48Songs of the Wrestler.
13:49Let's hear that scintillating CD.
13:52Hi, we'll be back to our movie, To Heck and Back, in just a moment.
13:57But first, have we got a deal for you.
13:59As long as there's been men in tights...
14:02Sorry, I was just picturing it.
14:05As long as there's been sweaty men in tights fighting each other and pumping into ropes and doing stuff like that,
14:17there's been hundreds and hundreds of songs written about them.
14:20From the early days of Greece to the later days of Pompeii.
14:25And even now, where people wrestle not only for profit, but for fun and to teach the young people
14:34that there's better ways of working out your problems than just talking.
14:37You mind if I just sell the CD?
14:39Oh, okay.
14:41Apparently, our movie is over now.
14:46But you know, we do have a lot of songs on this CD set,
14:49including one of my favorite reggae hits, Turnbuckle Turnbuckle.
15:00Yes, ma'am.
15:01Oh, yeah.
15:02Oh, yeah.
15:03Oh, yeah.
15:04No, no, no, no, no.
15:06Now me come along and now me got great big muscles.
15:09Me step into the ring with Stokko, see me want to tussle.
15:12Me go to the air, me gum him and me throw him.
15:14Me kick him, me hurt him, me break his neck and jump up off the top rope.
15:18Me scare you out, you lose all of your hopes.
15:20I'm gonna chase you around and maybe throw you off the ropes.
15:23And maybe take my fist and all my muscles and my knuckles.
15:26And maybe throw you baby and then slam me not a knuckle.
15:29Turnbuckle, turnbuckle.
15:30Turnbuckle, turnbuckle.
15:31Turnbuckle, turnbuckle.
15:34Turnbuckle, turnbuckle.
15:36Turnbuckle, turnbuckle.
15:43That's a lot more than just a bald kid playing a banjo.
15:46That is absolutely correct.
15:48And if you order right now,
15:50you get the entire CD collection yesterday
15:53through a process we don't quite understand yet.
15:55Very hush-hush.
15:56Very, very hush-hush.
16:03You know, Colin, this CD set is not just popular
16:06here in the United States.
16:07And when I say here in the United States,
16:09I'm counting Canada.
16:11No, it's popular all over the world,
16:14as is evident by this romantic Italian ballad...
16:22The romantic Italian ballad...
16:25Piledriver.
16:34When you show a girl that you love
16:37Take her head and climb high above
16:40Hold her still, and that is that
16:43Show her you love her
16:45When you hit the mat
16:47Just go, ah!
16:49It's a Piledriver of love
16:54How do you know that it is true love
16:57Until you slam her from high up above
17:00She's the girl that makes you smile
17:03Until you drive her into the pile
17:07While you drive her a row
17:09While you fall her on the sea
17:13And you peed on down and down and down
17:18And a little pile of riding
17:19That brings back some memories.
17:32Well, as our regular viewers know,
17:37I'm always right on the edge of hip.
17:41Or maybe right on the edge of hip replacement.
17:43It's hard to say.
17:46I'm joshing, of course.
17:48As you can see, a lot of the songs on this CD set
17:51really get you moving.
17:53And what's more appropriate than a square dance
17:56Colin-type song?
17:57This one entitled, One, Two, Kick Out.
18:02Well, here's what you do when you're wrestling
18:12someone in the ring.
18:13And you come around and I'll tell you just a thing.
18:16You gotta grab him, slam him, put him on the ground
18:17and then you crush his neck.
18:19And then he tries to break out and I say,
18:20what the heck?
18:21I say, one, two, oopsie, kick out of me.
18:24One, two, oopsie, kick out of me.
18:26One, two.
18:29Swing him right over your head.
18:33Knock him down until he's dead.
18:34Step on your toe and punch him in the face.
18:36Then you go all over the place that's fully sacked
18:37until they're good.
18:38Everybody in Hollywood
18:39swing, swing, swing it all a day.
18:42Jump around and bounce on the floor.
18:44Everybody do a little more.
18:45Everybody say, look and see.
18:46I can't tell what to see.
18:48Everything is going all over gorgeous George.
18:52Seahaw!
18:52All right, hey, we'll be right back.
19:00Find out who the winner is.
19:00Don't go away.
19:07Welcome back to Who's Ony's In Anyway.
19:08Tonight's winner is Wayne Brady.
19:11How about that?
19:11Congratulations, Wayne.
19:14We're going to do a game for you called props.
19:16And you guys are going to be a team
19:17and me and Ryan are going to be a team.
19:18Why don't you go get our prop?
19:19And I'll explain to you what's going to happen
19:20is that we have to come up with as many ideas
19:22that we can for these props.
19:23And back and forth.
19:26And Wayne is going to buzz us in between each one.
19:28So take it away, you guys.
19:31Well, I don't know what happened
19:32to the other half of your big spider, but...
19:35We make the movie ourselves.
19:37It's about witches, and this is our symbol.
19:42First time making a parachute, Wilkins?
19:46The wicked chicken of the East is dead.
19:50There must be a better way of checking for landmines.
19:57Hello, welcome to the cheapest puppet show in the world.
20:02I was hoping the hairs would be a little smaller.
20:14And you tell Hulk Hogan if he wants this belt,
20:16he's got something to win from me!
20:18Dead man walking.
20:27This is a chicken leg.
20:33This is a chicken leg on drugs.
20:38Okay, we'll be right back.
20:40Don't go away.
20:41Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
20:44We're going to end the show with Ryan and Colin reading the credits for you.
20:50And I want you to read the credits as two police officers on megaphones trying to contain a crowd.
20:56Thanks for watching, good night.
20:58Dan Patterson, Mark Levinson, please get away from the building.
21:04Mark Levinson, your mother's here to talk to you.
21:07Drew Phillips, get away.
21:11Don't pay attention to all the guns pointing at you, Stephen Fromm.
21:14There's nothing to see, Keith Richmond.
21:16Jason Scott, your minister's here, Jason.
21:21I'm going to dress up like a woman.
21:26Your Drew Carey's here, now come out.

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