- 4/29/2025
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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, ask not what your country can do for Brad Sherwood.
00:10Ich bin ein Wayne Brady.
00:13I am not a crook, Colin Laughery.
00:15And I did not have an affair with that Ryan Stiles.
00:19And I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on now, let's ask some thoughts.
00:26Oh, yeah.
00:28Yeah! All right!
00:31Welcome! Hello, everybody. Nice to have you here.
00:33Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:34The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36That's right. Points are like the pictures of food on the Denny's menu.
00:42Just don't mean a thing.
00:43If you never saw the show before, what happens is we ask the performers to come up here
00:46and make stuff up right off the top of their heads.
00:48And then I award points after every game.
00:50I don't know why. It's just a gag to hold the show together.
00:52And then at the end of the show, we pick a winner,
00:56and the winner gets to do a little something special with me.
00:57So, uh...
00:58Don't be nervous. It'll be over before you know it.
01:05Let's get things started with a game called Weird Newscasters.
01:08For everybody, Weird Newscasters, Brad, you're going to be the anchorman.
01:14And Brad, your co-anchor is Colin.
01:16Colin is the world's most techless man.
01:18Oh, I'm sorry, and you're the world's most techless man.
01:23Uh, you're playing it.
01:25Wayne!
01:26Come on, Drew.
01:27You're doing the sports, and you are RuPaul, baby!
01:29Oh, yeah!
01:31RuPaul!
01:35They finally found you out.
01:37And Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:39You have uncontrollable...
01:41It says hots here.
01:42You have uncontrollable attraction to a different person every ten seconds.
01:46So, Brad, whenever you hear the music, start the news.
01:56Hello, and welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
01:58I'm Chester Moistmuffins.
02:00Our top story tonight, rumors are speculating that Madeline Albright is actually a monkey.
02:06When asked to comment, she shimmied up a tree and flung poo at the press.
02:09And now, with the local news, here's Lionel Hot Biscuits.
02:18Lionel?
02:19Aye.
02:19There was a big accident.
02:20Some people got decapitated.
02:21Here are their names.
02:26You know what?
02:27That shirt really makes you look fat.
02:30I mean, the color's all wrong.
02:32I mean, who shot the drapes?
02:36Thanks for that scintillating report.
02:39And now, let's find out about the sports desk.
02:41Let's go over to Sizzling Bacon Pan.
02:43Sizzling?
02:51Y'all children, quiet down now.
02:53There's a whole lot of RuPaul that's going around for everybody.
02:59No!
02:59No, no, no, no, no.
03:00No, children.
03:01It's true.
03:02Football players.
03:03Oh, my goodness.
03:04You better work.
03:06Ooh.
03:08Ooh.
03:08You're cute.
03:10But that shirt has got to go, okay?
03:13Hey, you got a booger.
03:24Thank you for that.
03:28Thank you for that scintillating sports report.
03:31Tonight's sports report was sponsored by The Crying Game.
03:36And now, let's go over to the weather.
03:38Please welcome with the weather, Flaky Croissant.
03:40Flaky?
03:41Oh, thank you very much.
03:43We've got a lot of sun coming in.
03:45Should make things...
03:47Make things really hot.
03:52Really, really hot.
03:53Of course, that's only till the rain moves in on Wednesday, and then things are going to get...
03:58Wet.
04:04Yeah.
04:06Things will get wet until Thursday.
04:13Thursday until the Thursday.
04:14And then, of course, Friday.
04:19And...
04:20Is that my reflection in the camera?
04:38Hello, you.
04:39Towards the end of the week, we're getting...
04:44Who is that?
04:46That's a weird...
04:48This just in.
04:59I'm in love with the weatherman.
05:01Thanks for that scintillating report.
05:03Stay tuned for the 605 News.
05:05Eyes open.
05:06Right here?
05:07Can I close up on this?
05:08Go away.
05:13That was scary.
05:21Man, that was great.
05:22You know, if I had a nickel every time RuPaul ran by me, picking a booger out of his nose...
05:26Oh, I'd have a lot of money.
05:32Let's go on to a game called Film Dub.
05:35And this is for Ryan, Colin, and Brad.
05:42Film Dub.
05:43And what we're going to do is we're going to show them a little piece of film here.
05:46And they have to make up their own words to the film.
05:48This is a fun game you can play at home, by the way, if you're watching Friends or any
05:50other stupid Thursday night show on NBC.
05:54And the scene is planning a five-year-old's birthday party.
05:57Planning a five-year-old's birthday party.
05:59I'm telling you, you've got to get me a party clown.
06:02I'll get it.
06:02I'll get it.
06:02I'll get it.
06:03I don't want a regular party clown.
06:04I want one with big feet and a big red nose.
06:06I need it.
06:07Now!
06:08That's going to cost you more money, don't you understand?
06:10I don't care about the money.
06:12I'm pulling my hair out over this.
06:14All right.
06:15I'll make a phone call.
06:15I'm calling clowns or us.
06:16Hello?
06:17Hi.
06:17Clowns or us.
06:18What can I do?
06:18I need a clown, pronto.
06:21Not named pronto.
06:22A big clown or a little clown?
06:23We have clowns of all sizes.
06:25Sizes, I tell you.
06:26Sizes.
06:26Just send me a nice assortment of clowns.
06:28I want big clowns.
06:30There.
06:30It's done.
06:31It's all done.
06:32Ask him if he's got a pony.
06:34That's right.
06:34A big red pony.
06:36I want a pony.
06:36Pull my finger.
06:37Pull my finger, I dare you.
06:39Come on.
06:39What are you, a chicken?
06:40You want to have fun or not?
06:42Oh, this is going to be no party at all.
06:43Listen, I'm not pulling your finger and I'm not calling a pony.
06:45I just called you a clown.
06:47What else do you want me to do?
06:47Why, you?
06:50You're going to make one kid very unhappy, my friend.
06:53I thought that was a toupee.
06:55Sorry.
07:05That was great.
07:05And I'll give you a thousand points each for the phony accent.
07:08See?
07:08See?
07:09Got it.
07:09Yeah, we need a party.
07:10All right.
07:11He's a bad.
07:11A thousand points.
07:12Let's go on a game called Questionable Impressions.
07:14This is for all four of you.
07:15Brad and Wayne, you're going to start a scene.
07:17But in addition to speaking only in questions, which is easy to do, you often have to do a
07:23different impression.
07:24Yep, that's right.
07:25This will be fast.
07:26Every time you come on.
07:27What I need from the audience is a place where there's a sense of urgency.
07:33Nope.
07:34Freeway.
07:36So, Questionable Impressions.
07:39You're on a freeway.
07:40Whatever you're ready.
07:43You've got to do impressions.
07:44I hope they're good.
07:45Man, I can't wait for this one.
07:47I want to get comfortable.
07:48Go ahead.
07:51Would you let me get a turlane?
07:54Oh, so Dylan.
07:55Oh, so Dylan.
07:56What'd you say?
07:58What are you, death?
08:01You waiting for a shooting?
08:02Can't you see that me and my invisible bunny want to get over?
08:07Oh, wee-hee, wee-hee.
08:12Do you know which way it is to Pomona?
08:18Aren't you on your way to Lidsville?
08:20Oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:27Ooh, ooh, Andy, can I get over in your lane?
08:30Ooh, ooh, ooh.
08:33Oh, man.
08:34Who are you, Miguel and Gorilla?
08:37Ooh, don't you recognize Floyd?
08:41Watch the show.
08:41Can you please pull over?
08:50Ooh, ooh, would you like a cut?
08:52Do you know how fast you were going?
08:56No.
08:59Was I speeding, officer?
09:02Can't you see the speed limit there?
09:05Are you, uh, are you a real cop,
09:07or are you one of them faking security cop hangers?
09:09Do you want to see my badge?
09:19How about that, Bethes?
09:20Do you know the way to Pomona?
09:23Can't you do anyone from the last 10 years?
09:34All right, we'll be right back.
09:37Let's go away.
09:39Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway,
09:45the show where everything's made up
09:46and the points don't matter.
09:46Yep, we're just like the Cleveland Browns.
09:49Oh!
09:52Points don't matter because it's a rebuilding season.
09:55Let's go on to a game called Narrate
09:57for Colin and Ryan.
10:00They're going to act out a film noir scene
10:02and narrate to each other in the style of some music
10:04that we've selected for them.
10:06Uh, what would we like from the audience?
10:07Unlikely place for a film noir scene.
10:11Barber shop.
10:12Barber shop.
10:14You're acting out a film noir scene
10:16set at a barber shop.
10:17And go ahead.
10:18I'm going to be ready.
10:19He fit the description of the man I was looking for.
10:25Six foot five.
10:27Four foot two naked.
10:30Well, when he was naked, he stood like this.
10:32I was going to go undercover.
10:44I was going to try and look like I needed a haircut.
10:53Hi, I'd like a little less off the top.
10:58Why don't you sit down in the chair right over there?
11:02Oh, I knew who he was.
11:05And I knew he wasn't here for a haircut.
11:07And even if he was,
11:09it wasn't going to take long.
11:14Say, you look like you could use a shave as well.
11:20As he cut my artery, I felt something was wrong.
11:26Lucky, using my telekinesis,
11:28I could make my blood clot until I could finish my job.
11:32Sorry about that.
11:37So you didn't quite work, did it, Reggie?
11:39Sorry about that.
11:40I've been chasing you over five continents and two boroughs.
11:45I'm taking you back to Switzerland.
11:48All right.
11:50I knew he was taking me.
11:51I knew there was no way out.
11:52Unless I did something drastic.
11:55Say, before we go,
11:56how about a shot of the green stuff I keep the combs in?
12:10He didn't know I'd been drinking this stuff since I was three.
12:14Didn't bother me at all.
12:16But I knew he had loose lips.
12:18That really has no relevance to what's going on now,
12:21but I notice things.
12:26There's a woman waiting for you in Switzerland, my friend.
12:29She wants her money back.
12:31Well, let's go then.
12:33After you.
12:34But before we do,
12:37you really do need a shave.
12:40Why don't you sit in the chair?
12:42All right.
12:44Oh, he was going to Switzerland.
12:46But he wasn't going by plane.
12:48He wasn't going by train.
12:49That was fantastic.
13:101,000 points apiece.
13:12And remember, what?
13:15Okay, 2,000.
13:19Okay, let's go on to a game called Greatest Tits.
13:22It's for all of you with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
13:23Woo!
13:27I love you guys.
13:30Colin and Ryan are announcer guys
13:32trying to sell a compilation album.
13:34Wayne and Brad are going to sing the songs
13:36that Ryan and Colin make up for them.
13:37Now, what I need from the audience
13:38is something you look for in the Yellow Pages.
13:42Plumber.
13:43So, let's hear the album about the album
13:46Songs of the Plumber.
13:48Hi.
13:50We'll be back to the Friars Club roast
13:52of Nelson Mandela in just a second.
13:54But first, have we got something for you.
13:57You know, if you've got drains and pipes,
14:00you've probably had a plumber over
14:02at one time or not in your life.
14:04And we've assembled over
14:05six of the greatest songs.
14:08That's right, six songs on three CDs.
14:11I can see you out of the corner of my eye.
14:13I can see you out of the corner of my eye.
14:19I'm sorry, you just explained things too long.
14:22Six songs, three CDs.
14:24Was that so hard?
14:25Go ahead.
14:27One of the great bands of yore, of course,
14:29is the Rolling Stones,
14:30who are now actually as old as most stones on earth.
14:33And one of their greatest plumber-related songs
14:40is, of course, that great song
14:44that I'm not stalling.
14:45I'm going to tell you what it is.
14:47The name of that song is
14:49Sympathy for the Roto-Rooter.
14:54One, two!
14:55What do you do?
15:11What's your job?
15:12You've got to seek and you know it's clogged.
15:15It's the Roto-Rooter.
15:17And he has a very hard job.
15:20Yeah!
15:21Well, you know he's a real bad shooter.
15:26We're talking about the Roto-Rooter.
15:30Get on your little motor scooter
15:32and give a shot to the Roto-Rooter.
15:36Sympathy!
15:38Sympathy!
15:39Roto-Rooter.
15:40Sympathy!
15:41Sympathy for the Roto-Rooter!
15:45Sympathy!
15:46Sympathy!
15:47Sympathy!
15:48Sympathy!
15:49Well, let me go on and talk too much
16:00about some of the other songs
16:01that are on this CD set.
16:03You know, there's a lot of songs
16:04from this country,
16:05but we also have some
16:06international hits as well.
16:07Really?
16:08Including one that was on the charts
16:10in Germany for 43 weeks.
16:12We're talking about that number one hit,
16:14that German drinking song,
16:16Who's Uncloggin'?
16:17Who's Uncloggin'?
16:19Uncloggin'?
16:22La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
16:24Uh-oh!
16:25Yeah!
16:25Yeah, yeah, plug in the drain, who da, who can explain, aha, because I'm tugging, das unten walz und hun unten unplugging.
16:41The drain is so clogged, and why it's not fair, it's clogged, it's clogged with all of my hair, I do not understand, I'm going on a toboggan, dum-chigabala wumpaka unwein unplugging.
16:55You know, we have more songs on this CD than you can possibly count.
17:04Well, that's not true, but it sounded good, didn't it?
17:07Well, I said earlier there's only six, but you just keep on talking.
17:16What happened to you?
17:19Anyway, we have six songs, and we're getting close to the end of them right now.
17:24And one of the best songs in this album, it'll get your feet a-tappin', and your nose a-twitchin', and other body parts doing various things.
17:32Minor start.
17:33That great 90s R&B hit, You Can't Flush Me Away.
17:37Well, you'll never, never get rid of me, no one push, push.
17:44You'll never get me to the toilet so you can flush.
17:49I'll never, never leave you, cause you've got part of my soul.
17:53I'm gonna make love to you, girl, as I'm going down the boat.
17:58Baby, baby, listen to what I say.
18:02Say it's a hustler.
18:03You ain't never gonna flush my love away.
18:07I'll twirl around, any which way you please.
18:10Baby, grab your toilet paper, cause I'm begging on my knees.
18:15You ain't gonna flush my love away.
18:18It's a baby.
18:19Never gonna flush my love away.
18:22No, not a tiny boat making.
18:24No, never, never flush my love away.
18:27Yeah.
18:27All right, we'll be right back, find out who the winner is.
18:35Don't go away.
18:43Oh, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:45Tonight's winners are Ryan and Colin.
18:49Ryan and Colin are the winners.
18:52We have 90 seconds.
18:53We have to do a scene for you.
18:54And every new sentence we start, the first one of that sentence has to start with the next letter of the alphabet.
18:59Starting with what letter?
19:00X.
19:01X is the first letter I heard.
19:02So starting with the letter X, what's our scene?
19:0490 seconds.
19:04Your three roommates watching the lottery numbers come on TV.
19:08Go.
19:10X marks the spot.
19:12One more and I've won.
19:13Yeah, come on, X, come on.
19:15Zippity-doo-dah, we're gonna be rich.
19:18And how?
19:18I can't wait for this.
19:19I'm gonna buy a big boat and a car and everything.
19:22Barry, calm down.
19:23Remember your heart.
19:24Cars won't make you happy, Barry.
19:26Don't you see how desperate I am?
19:28I can't go on like this.
19:30Eric, I mean, Barry, listen.
19:32You've got to calm down.
19:35Getting yourself an estate's not gonna help anything.
19:37Forget about him, Joel.
19:38He's too far gone.
19:40Gary.
19:42You don't know what you're talking about.
19:44I have bills to pay.
19:45I have things to do.
19:46I can't go on.
19:46I have to win a lot of them.
19:48I think we should just keep a clear head, Bill and Barty.
19:52Or Barry and Joel.
19:54Jeepers, can't you remember our names?
19:58Chicken and screaming and punchy is gonna get us nowhere.
20:01Man, I'm sorry.
20:04No, I think if we win, we should donate all the money to charity.
20:09Oh, yeah, that's your plan, isn't it?
20:11You want to keep all the money for yourself and give it to your stupid charity?
20:13No.
20:14Perhaps we can pretend.
20:16Quit acting like you're not as greedy as I am.
20:19Really?
20:20You're just as greedy as the rest of us.
20:21Why don't you admit it?
20:23Sure, I just did.
20:25That's right, he did.
20:26I heard him.
20:26I was right here.
20:26I listened.
20:28Usually I would have heard it, but I had something in my ears.
20:31The winning numbers.
20:34Va-va-va-boom.
20:37Wow!
20:39Xerox copies.
20:40Quick, let's make Xerox...
20:41Welcome back to Who's Lines in any way.
20:52We're gonna end the show tonight with Wayne and Ryan reading the credits for you.
20:56I want you guys to read the credits like two angry drivers stuck in traffic.
20:59Good night, everybody.
21:00Thanks for watching.
21:00See you next time.
21:01Dan Patterson, will you get your Mark Leveson out of my way?
21:08Oh, yeah?
21:13Hey, I will kick your Eric Wilker.
21:15Oh, yeah?
21:18No!
21:19My arm is in.
21:26Oh!
21:26Oh!
21:31Oh!
21:31Oh!
21:32Oh!
21:32Oh!
21:32Oh!
21:32Oh!
21:33Oh!
21:33Oh!
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