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00:01Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, can I see some I.D.?
00:07Wayne Brady. Ladies, get in for free.
00:10Joji Lawrence. Sorry, pal, that'll be $20.
00:13Colin Mochrie. And it's not that kind of bar.
00:16Ryan Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, Drew Carey. For $1, let's have some fun.
00:23Whoa!
00:25Whoa!
00:30Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:33The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:35That's right. The points are just like, uh...
00:37The points are just like soap in the men's room. Doesn't matter.
00:40And...
00:44If you've never seen the show before, what happens is our performers are gonna come up,
00:47they're gonna make up everything you see right off the top of their heads.
00:49And after the end of every game, I give them points. I don't know why.
00:52Points are like your Social Security money in ten years. Doesn't mean a thing.
00:56And the winner gets to do something a little special with me when he announces the winner at the end.
01:00So, yeah.
01:03And since I picked the winner, I say Josie has a pretty good chance.
01:07Uh, let's start off the show with a game called Let's Make a Date.
01:10This is for all four of you.
01:11Josie, you're gonna be appearing on a dating type show.
01:13Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are contestants hoping to be picked by Josie.
01:16We'll be giving them each a strange thing to do or an identity around these cards here.
01:19They haven't seen these cards before. It's the first time they've seen them.
01:21And Josie, you're gonna question them like you're on a dating show and guess who they are.
01:24And whenever you're ready, off you go.
01:26Uh, hello, bachelors.
01:28Hello!
01:29Hey!
01:30Now, uh, as you know, I'm from the north of England, which is, uh...
01:33Speak up! Stand up straight! I can't hear you!
01:35As you know, I'm from the north...
01:38Enunciate! Breathe!
01:40As you...
01:41Snap!
01:44Uh, bachelor number one, what's the most macho thing you've ever done?
01:47The most what?
01:48Macho, sorry.
01:49Is that slang? Mecho? It's macho!
01:52Eh...
01:54Eee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!
01:57H-A-C-H-O!
02:00Spin!
02:01Oh!
02:02Bachelor.
02:05Bachelor number two. Are you, are you, are you a manly man?
02:09Stop stuttering.
02:10stuttering I've never done anything like this before I hope it furthers my
02:19career but please please be gentle bachelor number three yeah I hear you
02:25baby go out with you would be so neat cuz you're the kind of girl you are so
02:29sweet mm-hmm what's the strangest dream you've ever had are you questioning me
02:43yes now conjugate what you just said does conjugate mean chew that's masticate
02:59bachelor number two now don't be worried about this
03:22forget it bachelor number three I'm taking you home to see my parents very
03:28important to me what would you do to impress my mother well we'd sit down
03:32with your mother have some brewskis maybe go to Woodstock three here's some
03:38the best
03:42He's a very sadistic teacher.
04:01Yeah, it's cool to have script over very well.
04:07He's been on the casting couch.
04:10It's his first what?
04:12His first date.
04:14Photo shoot naked.
04:15Oh, his first porno shoot.
04:17That's close enough.
04:19It's just that I've never put Colin and porno shoot in the same sentence.
04:23Yeah, it's tough to do, I know.
04:25Yeah.
04:26It's a big leak.
04:28Oh, shucks.
04:30He knows I love him.
04:32Number three, is he like a rapper, a beastie boy, a cool dude?
04:39You have fraternities in England, right?
04:42He's in a fraternity.
04:43Yes.
04:441,000 points and a big shout out to all the Delta Ta Deltas out in London.
04:59Cambridge University.
05:00Shout out.
05:01Hey.
05:02Oh, shout out.
05:04Ten minutes into the show.
05:06Shout out.
05:07That's cool.
05:08Now, let's go on to a game called Film, TV and Theater Styles.
05:12This is for Ryan, Colin and Josie and what's going to happen is I'm going to get the audience
05:17to suggest some styles of film, TV and theater to me and I'm going to make those guys act
05:21out of scene adapting these styles.
05:23What do you mean for the audience is styles of film, styles of TV or styles of television?
05:27Kung Fu, Soap Opera, Blair Boring Witch Project.
05:35I'm lost.
05:36You're an idiot.
05:37Oh, yeah, we're lost.
05:39And then the big plot twist in the middle of the movie.
05:41I'm lost.
05:42Oh, yeah?
05:43Well, you're lost.
05:44One more.
05:45Samurai show.
05:46What?
05:47Samurai.
05:48Samurai evangelist, evangelist kind of TV.
05:50Okay.
05:51Okay.
05:52I'll give you your scene.
05:53You're going to start out as normal and I'll come up with the styles in a second.
05:55The scene is Colin and his secretary, Josie, hardly able to keep their hands off each other.
06:00A little request from Colin.
06:02Uh, arrive at a motel desperate for a room.
06:05Ryan is the sinister desk clerk.
06:11I'm so excited, aren't you, darling?
06:13I...
06:14Yes.
06:15I can't wait to get in that room and take dictation.
06:17I'm already...
06:19I'm way ahead of you.
06:20Oh.
06:21Now, don't forget, darling, don't forget we're married.
06:24Married.
06:25Married, yes.
06:26Married.
06:27Married, right?
06:28Married, yes.
06:29Married, yes.
06:30Soap opera.
06:31Sam, there's someone at the desk.
06:32I know, mother!
06:33I know!
06:34May I help you?
06:39What brings you to shady docks?
06:41We would like a...
06:44Room!
06:45For God's sake, Bernice spit it out!
06:47Kung Fu.
06:48A room.
06:49Take the credit card from my hand.
06:50Evangelist Show.
06:52I can tell why you've come.
06:53You've come looking for a room from me.
06:54I'll put you in room four!
06:55In room four!
06:56In room four!
06:57Take the credit card from my hand.
07:09Evangelist Show, I can tell why you have come.
07:12You've come looking for a room for me.
07:16I'll put you in room four.
07:18In room four.
07:19I said get up and walk to room four.
07:27Get up on your feet and walk to room.
07:30Blair Witch.
07:49Where are you going, where are you going?
07:50Stop it, stop it.
07:52Stop it, stop it, stop it.
07:54There's something happening here and I don't know what.
07:59I can't possibly give them a room.
08:01Who's holding the camera?
08:13Ten million points to you Hefner.
08:17I just want to get invited to the parties, man.
08:19I just want to talk to you.
08:21I don't care about anybody else.
08:22I just want to get invited to the parties.
08:24Let's go on to a game called News Flash for Ryan, Josie and Colin.
08:27Ryan and Josie, your two anchors in the news studio.
08:29And Colin, you're going to be out in the field covering a breaking news story.
08:33And what you see is Colin standing behind a green screen right there.
08:36That's a thing we use on TV.
08:37Turn around and you can only see green.
08:38That's all it is.
08:39It's a big green screen behind it that's always ever going to be able to see.
08:41And what we do on the television screen for you guys at home and for here in the studios,
08:46we put an image on there that Colin can't see.
08:48He has to guess what's behind him.
08:50Ryan and Josie are going to pretend to give him hints.
08:51So he has to guess what it is.
08:52Uh, Ryan and Josie, uh, whenever you're ready, go ahead.
08:55Off to you in the studio.
08:56So just for coffee or something?
08:57Yeah, if you like it.
08:59Oh, here he is.
08:59We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.
09:03We now go out to Colin Mockery in the field.
09:05Colin, can you hear me?
09:07I can barely hear you above the roar of what's happening behind me.
09:14I have to tell you I haven't been this scared in a long time.
09:19What exactly is the state of play now, Colin?
09:21What are you going to do about it?
09:23Just keep moving and hope, hope that everything dies down soon.
09:33Colin, it looks like you're risking your skin just being out there right now.
09:36I am, I am, but I'm a dedicated...
09:40Oh!
09:44James!
09:45I don't...
09:47I almost, it's like I don't even know what's going on.
09:49There's so much happening.
09:50Colin, just try and stay very, very still and very...
09:54No, no, no, no, no, no, just...
09:56Oh, did you see that?
09:59I don't know how much longer I can be here.
10:01I may have to move to higher ground.
10:03I, I'd move, Colin. I'd move your ass right now.
10:07Yep, yep.
10:10Yes, quickly.
10:13Oh!
10:14Quickly, quickly, Colin.
10:15Oh!
10:19Yeah, Colin, it looks like you're there for a while.
10:21It doesn't look like you're going to be able to charm your way out of this one.
10:24I've had it with this. I'm scared.
10:26Had it with what, Colin?
10:28What?
10:28Had it with what?
10:29Oh!
10:29Oh!
10:31Wow!
10:33All right, that's it!
10:35I'm going to save my ass!
10:36Yeah!
10:38Colin, do you have any idea where you are?
10:40I'm, uh, Snake Pit?
10:45All right, that was great.
10:46We'll be right back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway?
10:48or whatever this stuff goes away.
10:54Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
10:57The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
10:59Hey, as a special treat, uh, special thanks for tuning in to our show,
11:02uh, tomorrow's lottery numbers are 14, 23, 26 and 9.
11:07Hope you got that, and good luck.
11:09Uh, let's go on to a game called Weird Newscasters.
11:13This is for all four of you.
11:14Uh, Colin, you're going to be the anchor of a news show,
11:17and Josie Wayne and Ryan are going to help you out.
11:18Josie, you're the co-anchor.
11:20Your character's from Shakespeare.
11:23Sports is Wayne.
11:24Wayne, you're on a treadmill that's going out of control.
11:29Ryan, you're doing the weather.
11:31You're a baseball player who must hit a home run
11:33to win the World Series for the Cleveland Indians.
11:35I threw that last part in there.
11:40I threw the Indians part in there.
11:41Uh, baseball player who has hit a home run to win the World Series.
11:43So, whenever you hear the music, Colin, go ahead.
11:50Welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
11:51I'm your anchor, frankly, don't give a damn.
11:56A large wooden object with a pointy end was found spinning in the downtown core.
12:01That's our top story.
12:03And now, over to our co-anchor,
12:07Minnie Puzzle.
12:07Minnie?
12:09I thankest thou, sir.
12:11Today, a small baby giraffe was born in the Los Angeles Zoo.
12:15And though he did chide like thunder,
12:18his heart was smitten with his hay nonny nonny no.
12:24Is this a newscaster I see before me?
12:27And now, let us wind our way off to this side for the sports.
12:34Thank you very much, m'lady.
12:37Well, the best thing about most athletes today
12:40is that all of them do not mind at all getting in shape.
12:44Because, after all, it's what every person needs to do to keep in top-fit form.
12:49Now, I'll be describing something...
12:53I'm sorry.
12:53No, no, no.
12:56Um, back to you.
13:23This just in.
13:24Donors are wanted for a man whose buttocks are blown off an industrial accident.
13:29Doctors report no end in sight.
13:35And now it's time to go over to the weather with our weatherman, Dwayne DeBatub.
13:40Dwayne.
13:50We got some clouds moving in on the weekend.
13:52Going to make for a lot of mud.
13:59Later on, we're going to have some sunny days coming out from the west.
14:03We're going to have lots of days of sunshine.
14:14We're going to have one day of sunshine.
14:21We might even have two days of sunshine.
14:25We're going to have one day of sunshine.
14:27Sure as hell.
14:28We ain't going to have...
14:33Run!
14:34Run!
14:35Run!
14:35Run!
14:36Run!
14:37Run!
14:38Run!
14:39Run!
14:40Run!
14:41Run!
14:42Run!
14:43Run!
14:44Run!
14:45Run!
14:46Run!
14:47Run!
14:48Run!
14:49Run!
14:50Run!
14:51Run!
14:52Run!
14:53Run!
14:54Run!
14:55Run!
14:56Run!
14:57Run!
14:58Run!
15:00Run!
15:01Save!
15:02Woo!
15:03Woo!
15:04Woo!
15:05Woo!
15:06Woo!
15:07Woo!
15:08Woo!
15:09Woo!
15:10Woo!
15:11Woo!
15:12Woo!
15:13Well, that's the 6 o'clock news.
15:15See you tomorrow night.
15:15Till then, good night and good news.
15:28I love you, too.
15:30Hey, that was great.
15:311,000 points to Wayne flopping around, man.
15:34If I had a nickel for every time I saw a guy do that, huh?
15:40That was beautiful.
15:43I was going to say where no man has gone before, but that's not true, is it?
16:04That's how I got the other show, remember?
16:05That's right.
16:07Okay, let's go on to 1,000 points, everybody.
16:08Let's go on to a game called Duet.
16:10It's for Josie and Wayne with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
16:13Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
16:21How are you doing?
16:22Good.
16:23And, uh, can I have your name, please?
16:26Kenny.
16:27Kenny?
16:27Kenny, what do you do for a living?
16:28I'm a machinist.
16:29Kenny, Kenny's a machinist.
16:30Come on down here, Kenny.
16:31I want to say hello to Wayne and Josie.
16:34Kenny, he's a machinist and a little thrill for you.
16:41Have a seat.
16:41And, uh, we're going to have Josie and, uh, Wayne sing to you as punk rockers.
16:47Okay.
16:47Oye, oye, oye!
17:01His name is Kenny.
17:02See what I mean?
17:03He's got a bald head and he builds machines.
17:06He's a machine ass.
17:08He's a machine ass.
17:09Kenny, Kenny, Kenny.
17:10Kenny, Kenny.
17:11Kenny is my love, Grinch.
17:14I love him.
17:15He's mean.
17:16I especially like him when he's working his machine
17:21Because he is a machinist
17:25He is a machinist
17:28He is a machinist
17:30You are a machinist, dang
17:33Now Kenny is so smart, he could never be a fool
17:36Look at him around his waist as his metal tools
17:39Kenny, Kenny, Kenny
17:42Kenny
17:44His head feels real nice
17:47Completely full of noise
17:49Kenny, Kenny, Kenny
17:51Kenny, Kenny, Kenny
17:53Oh
17:55Why you no penis
18:00Kenny
18:03Kenny
18:05Machine
18:07He's a man
18:12We'll be right back with more Who's Lines Is It Anyway?
18:15Right after this, don't go anywhere
18:17Find out who the winner is
18:18You all see that, don't you?
18:25Welcome back to Who's Lines Is It Anyway?
18:27Price winner, Wayne Brady
18:28Wayne Brady's the winner
18:32He lost
18:33We'll do a game for you called
18:35Foreign film dub
18:36Josie and I are gonna act out a scene for you
18:38And we're gonna pretend to speak in a foreign language
18:40Colin's gonna translate for Josie
18:42And Ryan's gonna translate for me
18:43They're gonna stand over there
18:44We need a foreign language to fake
18:46Russian
18:47Russian
18:48Russian
18:49And what's...
18:50If you were a Russian filmmaker
18:51And you were gonna make an action film
18:52What would it be called?
18:53Vodka Express
18:55The Vodka Express
18:57What's the first time?
18:58The train should arrive anytime now
19:04The train should arrive anytime now
19:06The train should arrive anytime now
19:07The train should arrive anytime now
19:10No kidding
19:12What's the first time?
19:16Someday we'll have liquid in these glasses
19:18We have to wait for the Vodka Express
19:23To bring our daily supply of Vodka
19:25Vodka
19:26Vodka
19:27Vodka
19:28Vodka
19:29What say we both shave?
19:30La beard and he'll shoot your
19:32Vodka
19:33Vodka
19:35You're being bugged
19:36Vodka
19:37Vodka
19:38Vodka
19:51Huh?
19:59You're jealous of me and my fancy dance steps
20:10That's just like you Luigi
20:21Have you ever seen a better Riverdance have you seen my Judy Garland
20:46We're gonna end the show tonight with somebody reading the credits
20:48So Josie and Wayne, I want you to read the credits as two drunk girls at a party talking about what the boys have said to them
20:53Two drunk girls talking about what boys have said to them. Go ahead. Good night everybody. Thanks for watching
20:57No, uh, cuz Dan Patterson said he loved me
20:59Well, Martin Severson said he loved me as well
21:02Denise and Donahue's taking Mark Leverson of me and Arthur Forreston Trump Park hating me
21:07So did Danny Bruce
21:09Drew Carey, Drew Carey and Josie Lohan
21:11Oh, I love Drew Carey
21:13Oh, yeah
21:13I'm Steve Blammer by the way rolls up to Tony Steve Blammer
21:17I hate Allison
21:18Well, Christian took Kenneth off
21:21Hey, look at him
21:22See?
21:23Bastards
21:23No, Bobby, where are you?
21:25I mean, I'm gonna be
21:26No, no
21:27No
21:27No
21:28No
21:28No
21:29No
21:30No
21:31No
21:32No
21:33No
21:34No
21:35No
21:36No
21:37No
21:38No
21:39No
21:40No
21:41No
21:43No
21:44No
21:45No
21:46No