- 4/29/2025
Category
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FunTranscript
00:01Good evening, everybody,
00:03and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, read by lips.
00:07Don't read taxes for Wayne Brady.
00:09I cannot inhale Chip Esten.
00:12I know Colin Mochrie, and you know Colin Mochrie.
00:15And where's the beef?
00:17Ryan Stiles.
00:19Hey, I'm your host, Drew Carey.
00:20Come on, let's have some fun.
00:27Whoa.
00:29Hello, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up
00:33and the points don't matter.
00:34That's right, the points don't mean a thing,
00:36like when I say I love you when I'm drunk.
00:38No!
00:44I know this is a bad time to tell you,
00:46but if you've never saw this show before,
00:48what happens is everybody's gonna come up here,
00:49they're gonna make up everything you see
00:50right off the top of their heads,
00:51and then I give them points at the end of every game.
00:53Who knows why?
00:54It's a little gag to tie the show together.
00:56And at the end of the show,
00:57we pick an artificial winner.
00:58The winner gets to do a little something special with me,
01:00and the loser has to dispose of the van.
01:02Uh...
01:03That's right.
01:04So...
01:05Start out with a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles.
01:08This is for Ryan, Captain Hare, and Wayne.
01:12Captain Hare, that's our new little nickname for Colin.
01:14He loves it.
01:17Uh, they're gonna act out a scene for you,
01:18and I'm gonna make them adapt different styles of television,
01:20film, or theater.
01:21And I'd like the audience to give me suggestions
01:23for those styles of television, film, and theater you enjoy.
01:26Kung Fu, theater!
01:27Porn!
01:28Kung Fu, porn!
01:29Keystone Cops!
01:30Keystone Cops!
01:31Man, I cannot write this for...
01:34Workout video.
01:35Good one.
01:36I always watch shows with the volume down.
01:38I don't know.
01:40Anybody else?
01:41Golfing.
01:42Golfing.
01:43Oh, a golf... a golf show.
01:45Okay, uh...
01:46Oh, I can't even read.
01:49All right, well, the ones I can make out will do.
01:52And, uh, okay, go ahead, and, uh,
01:54you're gonna start out as normal,
01:55and I'll come in with the style after you get started.
01:57The scene is, Colin and Ryan,
01:59who are stealing dinosaur bones from an exhibit,
02:01are interrupted by the night watchman, Wayne.
02:05So go ahead and start,
02:06and I'll, uh, buzz in with the style.
02:08Knee bones connected to him.
02:12Come on, just hurry and get in.
02:14Hey, Sector 5!
02:18I told you we were too close to the night watchman!
02:20I didn't think he'd hear us!
02:24You guys are stealing bones!
02:27Donk!
02:28Oh!
02:29Donk!
02:30Oh, I'm sorry.
02:31You got carried away!
02:34Uh, chick flick.
02:37Don't make me use this, Billy Bob.
02:42You... you ain't gonna hit me no more with no bones.
02:46Quick, Thelma!
02:47Thelma, get in the car!
02:52Oh, he's chasing her!
02:56No!
02:57It's awesome!
02:58Ah.
02:59Okay.
03:00So I'm going to navigate to purple.
03:01John.
03:02Oh.
03:03Workout video.
03:18Wow, you feel it in there?
03:23Yeah.
03:24All right, just pick up the bones.
03:27Pick up the bones.
03:28Stretch.
03:29And pick the bones.
03:30Pick up the bones.
03:31Pick up the bones.
03:32Pick up the bones.
03:33That's great.
03:34And for those of you at home who can't pick up the bones all the way, just pick them up
03:37at chest level.
03:43Porn.
03:48Let me help you with that bone.
03:53You know something, both of you guys, you still click on my gun.
04:08Golf show.
04:13Let's go for the hole-in-one.
04:15I don't know.
04:20All right, that's enough.
04:23That's enough right there.
04:28I'm so nervous watching that.
04:29Yeah, I'm as nervous as Richard Simmons' pool boy.
04:31Oh, man.
04:32The hose is broken.
04:33Let's go on to a game called Duet.
04:35This is for Chip and Wayne.
04:36They're going to sing a duet about somebody in the audience with the help of Laura Hall,
04:39Linda Taylor, and Cece Worrell.
04:41All right, we're going to be right here and I'm good at them.
04:42I'm good at them.
04:43Okay, okay, I'm ready to be right here.
04:44I'm ready to be right here, and I'm ready to be right here.
04:45I'm ready to be right here.
04:46I'm ready to be right here.
04:47I'm ready to make it to theри.
04:48I'm ready to be right here.
04:49They are ready to be right here and I'm ready to be out there.
04:50Take care of us.
04:51See?
04:52Good job.
04:53Hey.
04:54Hi.
04:55What's your name?
04:56Katie.
04:57How are you?
05:10What do you do for a living, Katie?
05:12I work at Hoagie Ogie.
05:16You work at Hoagie Ogie.
05:18So a fast food place you work at?
05:20Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh. Okay.
05:22Well, you're really moving up the world.
05:24Come on down here, Katie.
05:32Katie here works at Hoagie Ogie,
05:34and I'm sure it's not a national chain
05:36so I can mention it.
05:38Yeah, and you serve, they serve like Hoagies
05:40and stuff there and sandwiches, and you work there.
05:42What do you do? Do you work behind the counter or in front of the counter?
05:44Behind. Behind the counter, oh.
05:46In front of the counter.
05:48I'd be a customer, Drew.
05:50So the reason I picked Katie, you're gonna sing to her
05:52in the following style. You're gonna be a
05:54boy band.
05:56I think I found the perfect subject.
05:58You're gonna sing to her like a boy band. Katie,
06:00she works at Hoagie Ogie. Good luck.
06:08Ooh, baby.
06:10Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:16I got a little something special going
06:18out for the girl that made me a hoagie last week.
06:20Ooh, yeah.
06:21Yeah.
06:24Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, nah.
06:28Listen to me, Katie, this is what I said
06:31Your job revolves around mayonnaise and two pieces of bread
06:35Oh yeah, you keep it coming okie-dokie
06:39It's not a national change so we can mention okie-okie
06:44Yeah, how to get a good sandwich when I'm around her
06:48You know that Katie works behind the counter
06:52She has a lot of sandwich tricks
06:57She even gives me those fancy toothpicks
07:00That sandwich, make it little girl
07:04And give me kind of spices from all around the world
07:08Take some mustard and oregano and some parmolo cheese
07:12And you put it on my hoagie
07:14Now baby, please
07:16Sesame soup
07:17Sesame soup
07:22Break it down, Chip
07:23Break it down, Chip
07:24Yeah, I'm watching on the telly and I saw you at the deli
07:26And I went to get a sandwich and I put it in my mouth
07:28I came, I got a coke, I got a little drink
07:30And everybody said that's what you need to lose me down
07:32Now let me tell you something, girl
07:34Because you see, I want to spin and twirl
07:36That's right, that's right
07:38For days and days
07:38I get funky, give me mayonnaise
07:40Hang on, you gotta, gotta, gotta watch it like the hoagie dogie
07:46Thank you
07:48Thank you
07:49Thank you
07:50Thank you
07:51Woo!
07:52K-k-k-k-k-k-s
07:53Yeah, girl
07:53Wool-oo!
07:54Woo!
07:55K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k
07:58Get it, girl.
08:09Oh, man.
08:11There you go.
08:12Have a seat.
08:15Katie, everybody.
08:19Hey, uh...
08:20Game's over, man.
08:23You can relax.
08:25Something tells me Katie's going to be making
08:27in $6.50 an hour.
08:31That's sweet.
08:34Got a little red is coming, baby.
08:37It's fun to get the call.
08:40Song titles.
08:42This is for all four of you.
08:43Chip and Wayne, you're going to start the scene.
08:46You can only speak in song titles.
08:47This is also a great party game.
08:49After you're ever at a party, there's no chicks or booze.
08:51You can play this game.
08:52It's a lot of fun.
08:53So go ahead, you're at a beach party
08:56when somebody goes wrong and takes place.
08:57So you can stay out there the longest.
08:58You're at a beach party.
08:58Song titles only.
09:00Good luck.
09:01Little surfer girl?
09:05Who's that girl?
09:08Hello, goodbye.
09:10Stop.
09:12In the name of love.
09:15They fought the law.
09:15The law won.
09:19Don't be a hero.
09:20Billy, don't be a hero.
09:23Billy, don't be a hero.
09:25Billy, don't be a hero.
09:26Go to the power.
09:27Oh, my God.
09:27I know I'm not.
09:28I know I'm not.
09:29I know I'm not.
09:30There was a hero.
09:31Oh, my God.
09:31I know.
09:32Billy, don't be a hero.
09:32Oh, my God.
09:33Let's see.
09:35Don't be a hero.
09:35Ty is.
09:35Don't be a hero.
09:36Father.
09:37Billy, don't be a hero.
09:38Come on.
09:39Anybody else I do?
09:42Ebony and Ivory!
09:53Itsy Bitsy Teeny Winnie, Yellow Pocodopty.
10:00One-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people.
10:03I don't know how to love him.
10:16Me either.
10:21Delilah! Angie!
10:25Yellow Submarine!
10:28Oh, yeah.
10:33My name is Luca.
10:36Ben.
10:41Theme from Jaws.
10:50I'll get a harpoon! La la la la!
10:59Tutti Frutti?
11:01Sandy?
11:05Jimmy Mac.
11:08Get back, honky cat.
11:10Thank you very much.
11:14Hey, we'll be right back for more of Who's Lines?
11:15Is It Anyway?
11:17Hey, we'll be right back for more of Who's Lines? Is It Anyway?
11:20Right here, so don't go away.
11:24Welcome back to Who's Lines? Is It Anyway?
11:25Hey, cap up the Cheez Whiz and wipe off your toes.
11:29It's time for more Who's Lines? Is It Anyway?
11:30Who's Lines? Is It Anyway?
11:32Hey!
11:33Cap up the Cheez Whiz and wipe off your toes.
11:35It's time for more Who's Lines? Is It Anyway?
11:39Let's go on to a game called News Flash.
11:45This is for Ryan, Chip, and Colin.
11:47Ryan and Chip, they're going to be two news anchors in the studio.
11:49Colin, they're going to be in the field covering a breaking news story.
11:52Now, what goes on here is that Colin, right behind Colin, all he can see is green.
11:56It's called a green screen.
11:57And no matter how hard he looks at it, all he ever sees is green.
11:59But on the studio monitor and at home, we can see what's behind him.
12:03And he has to try to guess what's behind him.
12:05And you guys can try to give him hints.
12:07So, whenever you're ready, go ahead and go.
12:10I thought it was a whole group of people, but apparently...
12:13We interrupt this program for a special bulletin.
12:18There seems to be some activity out there, and we've got our man on the scene.
12:21Colin, to tell us all about.
12:23Colin!
12:39Colin!
12:40Can you hear us?
12:41Pardon?
12:42I have never seen anything like that in my entire life.
12:45Me neither!
12:46I'd be staring at this!
12:51I have been looking at this for the last five hours!
12:54And I just can't take my eyes off it!
12:58It's a sad, sad sight indeed, Colin.
13:00It certainly is.
13:01How did it start?
13:02How did it start?
13:03It all started with a badly timed ball joke.
13:05And then let's just go on to this.
13:17Colin!
13:18Yes?
13:19Have they made any plans?
13:20Is there any way to get rid of this thing?
13:22Well...
13:23There are a couple of scientists working on a formula that has, uh, been involved to...
13:34I don't think there's any way to get rid of it at all!
13:38What are authorities advising us to do?
13:41Well, what they say is duck and cover!
13:46Duck and cover!
13:51Colin!
13:52Colin!
13:53Stay inside!
13:54Stay inside!
13:55Colin!
13:56Yes?
13:57Are these things capable of reproducing?
14:02Maybe.
14:03Like, around?
14:04I-I-I'm afraid to get close enough to find out!
14:09Wow!
14:15Now, I notice you're not wearing sunglasses to help you with that incredible shine!
14:27Yeah!
14:30Yeah!
14:32Although many people are, because of the incredible beauty of what is happening behind!
14:41It's so beautiful!
14:43Many artists have come down just to take a rendering of it!
14:47Watch out!
14:48Oh, my God!
14:50Oh, the beauty!
14:51The beauty!
15:01Shots!
15:02Oh!
15:03Oh, my God!
15:07Thank you!
15:12It's the best one ever!
15:14Colin, what is behind you?
15:17I hope it's me with my clothes on!
15:19Yes, it is!
15:21Yes, it is!
15:22I can't wait for months from now for you to be home and watch it.
15:35I hope he's drunk in a bar somewhere and he'll look up and he'll go, oh.
15:39Will it ever end?
15:42Oh, man, that was hilarious.
15:44I said the ball joke thing, too.
15:49You did.
15:49You're right over there.
15:50Yeah, it's freaky.
15:51That's why they call you Captain Hair.
15:56Because you did so good, you're all going to get to do a hoedown.
15:58Come on up here.
15:59Get the hoedown.
16:00Woo!
16:01Yeah.
16:03Get the hoedown.
16:03Laura Hall on piano.
16:05Laura Hall.
16:05I love Laura Hall.
16:08Woo!
16:09Woo!
16:10You keep that spirit alive, baby, because it's coming out.
16:14What I need from the audience is a suggestion of a reason you might wear a mask.
16:17It's because you're ugly.
16:19Surgery.
16:20Plastic surgery.
16:21Plastic surgery is the reason you might wear a mask.
16:23So let's do the plastic surgery hoedown.
16:26Here is some news I heard all over the place.
16:38Michael Jackson had surgery to fix his face.
16:42He didn't think that he looked good.
16:44He started sulking.
16:45I saw him the other day.
16:47He looks just like Macaulay Culkin.
16:49All right.
16:55Okay.
16:56I know something nice.
16:58It isn't so darn nasty.
17:00You could just be a doctor and go getting rhinoplasty.
17:04Michael Jackson had some.
17:06It wasn't just his loss.
17:07Instead of one Michael Jackson, now there's two Diana Ross.
17:11The plastic surgery didn't work.
17:20I must confess.
17:22My, my face is now one big bad mess.
17:26Here's a little hint.
17:28If any of you go, make sure your doctor isn't Dr. Picasso.
17:33I wanted surgery, but my doc said no.
17:45I had to force him because I had no place to go.
17:48I had to threaten him with my big old Mouser.
17:52Now I look just like a grown-up dude, Mouser.
17:56A grown-up dude, Mouser.
18:00Yeah, that was great.
18:01We'll be right back with more Who Finds It Anyway?
18:04Up from nowhere.
18:11Hey, welcome back to Who Finds It Anyway?
18:14Tonight's winner, Ryan Collin-O-Wayne.
18:16Ryan Collin-O-Wayne are the winners.
18:17They get to do a game with me called Foreign Film Dub.
18:23And Wayne and I are going to make up a scene for you.
18:25And we're going to pretend to speak in a foreign language.
18:27And Collin's going to translate for Wayne.
18:29And Ryan's going to translate for me.
18:30And it's really fun.
18:31Give us a foreign language to fake.
18:33Checklist of black people.
18:36Canadian.
18:36Canadian.
18:40That's the one.
18:41Let's do Canadian.
18:42We're going to fake Canadian for you.
18:45Oh, that's going to be tough to do.
18:46Uh, and if you're a Canadian action film director,
18:51what would the name of your action film be?
18:54Out and About.
18:55Out and About.
18:56Okay.
18:57Out and About.
18:59Out and About.
18:59The action, uh, Canadian action movie.
19:01Boy, this is good.
19:13Yeah, that's the you, Pagliari, who?
19:22Do you giggle when you say Regina?
19:24Oh, hey, who?
19:36There she did a doll.
19:38Hey, did I?
19:39Oh, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
19:43Hey, doesn't that cloud look like a ducky?
19:45Yeah, the holes are in the ice box over there, yeah.
19:53We don't even have a football team, but I bet we could beat Cleveland.
19:55Oh, hey, that's a great...
20:05Hey!
20:07Oh!
20:08Oh!
20:09Oh!
20:10Oh!
20:11Oh!
20:12Oh!
20:13Oh!
20:14Oh!
20:15Oh!
20:16Oh!
20:17Oh!
20:18Oh, that's what I'm saying.
20:19That's what the hell of my friends like.
20:20Oh, that's what I meant.
20:21Oh, that's what I meant.
20:22I bet they had guns.
20:23Yeah.
20:24The holes are in the A and the, and the, and the, three minute penalty over the A.
20:29I better help you, like all Canadians do, by sucking that bullet out of your mouth.
20:36Oh!
20:37Well done, well done, well done.
20:39All right.
20:40Thank you very much.
20:41We'll be right back when a week will be right after this.
20:45We're gonna end the show with everybody reading the credits for you and I want you guys to
20:52read the credits as French can-can dancers.
20:55Good night, thanks for watching, see you next time, bye.
21:02Bye.
21:27Au revoir!
21:28Au revoir!
21:32Aplausos
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