- 4/24/2025
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00:00Good evening everybody and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway. On tonight's show, Mamma Mia, Brad Sherwood, Super Trooper, Ray Brady, Does Your Mother Know, Collin Mockery, and Dancing Queen, Ryan Stine. I'm your host, Sue Perry, going down and let's have some fun.
00:18Welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like a referee in the XFL.
00:37We've got a lot of show, let's get the show going with a game called Let's Make a Date. This is for all four performers. Brad, you're going to be appearing on a dating type show and you're going to try to pick the bachelors and decide who to go out with.
00:48We give them each a strange quirk or characteristic. Collin has my favorite one, I know what they are because I have the list right here.
00:54So Brad, you're going to question them and guess who they are at the end of the game whenever you're ready, off to go.
00:58Bachelor number one, if we were on a deserted island together, what would you do to keep me safe and warm?
01:10Well, on a deserted island, let's see, on a deserted island you probably wouldn't wear too many clothes because you...
01:18You probably wouldn't wear too many clothes because I...
01:22Excuse...
01:23Excuse me one second, honey.
01:28Don't you ever look at him. I will come back to you.
01:31I will take you and break you in the air. Don't you ever.
01:34Because I will. Don't make me take off my shoes.
01:36Because I will.
01:37Don't walk all up and down. Don't make me.
01:39Because I will.
01:41Here we go, look at him.
01:42Because I love him.
01:43When he comes home drunk at night, I came in a fireman's carry-up, 10 flights of stairs.
01:49You don't love him like I do.
01:50You're a very feisty one, number one.
02:10Mm-hmm. Yes.
02:11Bachelor number two.
02:14I am so turned on by a man with a full head of hair.
02:22If you were my hairdresser, what would you do to tease me?
02:27The first people that go are the ones who make the hair cracks.
02:30I don't care.
02:35Once the world belongs to me, there will be no hairdressers.
02:38There will be nothing but me.
02:42Oh.
02:43Oh.
02:44You're starting to go spectacular.
02:45Yeah, I'll scratch it.
02:46I'll scratch it a little bit and all the noise.
02:49Wing, wing, wing.
02:51All right, that's enough.
02:52That's enough.
02:53You're so cute.
02:55You're so cute.
02:57Thank you, number two.
02:58I'm sure that stool smells great.
03:00Bachelor number three.
03:06Yes.
03:07I want you to take me away on an adventure.
03:10Tell me about it.
03:13But I can't think of a bigger adventure than the one I'm on right now.
03:18All alone, I'm going to need a friend.
03:23Squinky, squinky, squinky, squinky.
03:27You'll be my friend.
03:28What the hell?
03:29I ain't got nobody.
03:31It talks to me.
03:36Don't keep your eyes that way.
03:38Keep your eyes.
03:38All right.
03:39Next thing I'm going to need is a place to live.
03:41Over here looks good.
03:44This will be my bathroom.
03:45I'm no longer thirsty.
04:07bachelor number one yes i want you to tell me about your secret fantasies shared with me in a
04:16cave please well my secret fantasy shared with you would have to be your body with my little
04:23bolly wolly head on top of it and if it's one thing my mama taught me to not tolerate is
04:29disrespect like you see that lady in the fourth row she didn't think i was watching it it's kind
04:33of funny now but i will unleash a rap of hell upon you i will take off my shoes and take off
04:42you really are
05:12that was only the third row
05:14but who's counting bachelor number two i love a man with a real sexy body
05:26describe your body in great detail to me
05:32you will die you will all die you will all die
05:42that's your number three
05:49what what
05:52i'm starving what are we eating you're starving
05:57now we can coconuts we'll eat these coconuts
06:01i've had it here i'm not staying here any longer
06:05me and my best friend are going home
06:14i know it's gonna be difficult try and guess who they were uh... wayne was a very jealous over protecting mothering type person uh... girlfriend whose boyfriend is
06:21who is... is colin is colin yes
06:33but try and guess who they were. Wayne was a very jealous, overprotecting, mothering
06:41type person. Girlfriend, whose boyfriend is who? Is Colin. Yes! She was Colin. Colin
06:53was an evil head that wants to rule the universe. Yes! And bachelor number three was, I believe,
07:03Bill Hanks and Castaway. Close enough, yeah, Castaway. So, 1,000 points each to you, and next
07:20year, 200 points to Wayne, so we can take row-finding lessons. Can we get new water? Nope. Sure
07:31now, this next game is called Two Line Vocabulary. This is for Brad, Ryan, and Colin. Now, the
07:39idea of this game is that our performers are going to be acting on a scene. However, Ryan
07:44and Brad have two lines each, and that's the only things I can say. Uh, Brad, the only things
07:50you're allowed to say, is it always that big? And I don't think that's a good idea. Ryan,
07:55Ryan, the only two lines you're allowed to say are, run that by me again, and who needs
08:00this? Colin is performing a life-or-death operation on a powerful mob boss. Ryan is the anesthesiologist,
08:07and Brad is the nurse assisting him. All right, people, we've really got to concentrate on
08:14this. I don't think that's a good idea. I think it is, because I'm the doctor. This man has
08:19to pull through this operation. It's very difficult. If he doesn't, we're all dead. You'll run that
08:23by me again? Yes. If we don't save this man, his people will kill us. Who needs this? Exactly. So, let's just put our minds to it, and let's operate. I don't think that's a good idea. Do you have a better idea?
08:26Do you have a better idea? What should we do? Maybe just move him around? I don't think that's a good idea. All right, I'm pulling back, Steve. Is it really that big? Look. Who needs this? I know. All right. It is a big growth, but we're going to have to cut it off if you get it.
08:54But we're going to have to cut it off if you've given him some anesthesia. Run that by me again? Can you put him out? We have to make sure he's actually up. I don't think that's a good idea. Yes. Do you think it's a better idea to cut him open and go, ah, look at me? I don't think so. Who needs this? He needs this. Have you done this before? Run that by me again. Have you done this before? Who needs this? All right, I'm sorry. All right. Tensions are a little high. Is it really that big? Big deal. Do you want to be killed? No. I don't think that's a good idea.
09:24No, I don't think so. Do you want to be killed? Do you want to be killed? Who needs this? All right. All right. Sorry. All right. Scalpel.
09:33I don't think that's a good idea. We need the biggest one. The biggest scalpel. Scalpel number nine. I don't think that's a good idea.
09:40All right. Give me whatever you want. How are you doing? Ah, well, thank you. Stand back. Sorry.
09:50Oh, there's the trouble. Who needs this? Oh, but he needs that. Put that back in. Is it really that big? Yes, yes, yes.
10:02Run that by me again. Just sew him up. Who needs this? Are you an idiot? Run that by me again. Are you an idiot? Who needs this? Well, you do. Moron.
10:13I don't think that's a good idea.
10:22Thank you. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.
10:24Remember this. Don't go away.
10:28Welcome back. Welcome back to Who's On? Is it anyway?
10:31The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
10:33That's right. The points are something you'll never see, like a sharper image store in Amish country.
10:36Now let's play a game called Greatest Hits. This is for everybody.
10:45Everybody on the top. Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Cece World.
10:50Everybody else.
10:52Now, with the help of Laura, Linda, and Cece, Ryan and Colin are going to pretend to be salesmen on an infomercial
10:57talking about the latest compilation album they're trying to sell.
10:59And what they're going to do is they're going to make up names of songs and give a song style, a style of music, to Wayne and Brad.
11:05And then Wayne and Brad are going to have to make up a song based on that title that these guys made up.
11:11What I need for the audience is the suggestion of a city in the United States where you go to have a good time.
11:18Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.
11:22We're going to use Vegas. The name of the album is Songs of Las Vegas.
11:28Let's hear all about it.
11:31Hey, Ryan, what odd movement.
11:35I can't stop doing this, Colin. I was on the slots all weekend.
11:39I said slots.
11:40Thank goodness.
11:44I was worried.
11:46Oh, finally it stopped.
11:47What were you playing?
11:48Las Vegas.
11:49Las Vegas.
11:50The city that never sleeps.
11:51And the sleeper that never is a city.
11:55Doesn't really work when you reverse it, does it?
11:57No.
11:58You know, Colin, we've assembled 777 songs, three sevens, jackpot, on four CDs.
12:06And when we say assembled, we really didn't have that much to do with it.
12:11You know what's good, though?
12:13We have every kind of music, especially some good rockin'.
12:17Are you all right?
12:17You know what?
12:18I do have a bit of a headache, but that's because it was accidentally stuck in a vice for three hours.
12:22Oh.
12:23Don't ask.
12:25Anyway.
12:28Your toe's going to be tapping and your finger snapping and your ears listening.
12:32Because that's what ears do.
12:33When you hear this great ACDC hit, I think you know the one I'm talking about.
12:40It's been almost five days in the number one position.
12:45Who hasn't?
12:51I wish.
12:52I wish.
12:52I dropped my chips in your nuts.
13:02All right!
13:05Yeah!
13:05But I was looking for a real good time.
13:14I was sitting with my fucking life.
13:17I was looking and I feel it in the rocks when I dropped my chips in your nuts.
13:23And I thought, I could not get all back.
13:27Oh, no, no, I could not get all back.
13:33And I'm back in black, getting red and black.
13:37Until my nuts went back.
13:39And I'm losing my voice.
13:49Right off stage.
13:52Something about chips in your nuts.
13:55And you can't say nuts.
13:57Unless you're talking about the kind you eat.
14:01Ah!
14:01Ah!
14:03Ah!
14:04Ah!
14:07Ah!
14:07Ah!
14:09Unless you're talking about the kind you eat.
14:22Hey, Colin.
14:23Yeah, Ryan.
14:24What do you get when a Smurf relieves himself on your lawn?
14:30Crabgrass?
14:31No!
14:32Bluegrass!
14:33And that's our next music style.
14:35Although, Ryan, I believe no matter what your outside color, all urine is the same.
14:44That's true.
14:46It's inside what counts.
14:48You give a hope to a lot of people.
14:51Yes.
14:52And I think one of my favorite bluegrass tunes of all time has to be High Roller Hooker.
14:58Well, let me see while I'm dancing.
15:10Oh my goodness, I need a companion.
15:11What am I going to do?
15:12Call her.
15:13Hooker.
15:13Hey, here's the high roll of hooker.
15:15She's looking awfully good.
15:17I'm really sporting.
15:18She's a hooker.
15:19She's a good looker.
15:20Am I going to try and fuck her?
15:21Because I'm not a word for the NBA.
15:24Go give it what her I got.
15:28Oh my goodness, all right.
15:30Come on, I'm going to get a conquer tonight.
15:31Why does she have a high press hooker?
15:34Here we go.
15:35Yee-haw!
15:42They don't write them like that anymore.
15:43No, they don't.
15:44You know, they say music has charms to soothe the savage beast.
15:58Who's they?
16:00The same people that say, no, they won't write up.
16:07Now I got you.
16:08Yeah.
16:09You know, I grew up in Canada.
16:15I know that.
16:15Which is right across from Detroit.
16:17Mm-hmm.
16:19And there, I became a regular Motown.
16:22Hey, hey, I don't want to hear about it.
16:23No.
16:23It's kind of music.
16:25Oh.
16:26Motown.
16:26I know.
16:27Oh, and you know what?
16:28The girl groups were the best.
16:29Oh.
16:30Didn't you love the Supremes?
16:31I like the Ethels, too.
16:33Yeah.
16:34Well, we couldn't get the Supremes for this CD.
16:38But we got someone pretty good, the Mediocres.
16:40They're just a step below.
16:42But they're still Motown.
16:44They're still Motown, and they still have that great Vegas hit.
16:53Roulette of love.
16:56Baby, baby, I don't know where I should begin.
17:16I want to fall in love with you.
17:20I want to give your love, will and spend.
17:23I don't know what you said.
17:26You bet all black or all red.
17:29Well, it is what I've seen.
17:31And it came up green.
17:33I've been gambling from the Lord above.
17:37I'm going to spend the roulette of love.
17:40I love you.
17:42Please believe that.
17:43Take one look at me and bet all black.
17:46Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue.
17:57I love you.
18:27And now, ladies and gentlemen.
18:49Oh, down, down, down, down.
18:52The photo come out tomorrow.
19:01That's your bottom dollar.
19:07Is there a Joe here?
19:08All right, Superboli.
19:25Ready?
19:25Ready?
19:25Ready?
19:26You put your left foot in
19:44You take your left foot out
19:48You put your left foot in
19:52And you shake it all about
19:56You put your left foot in
20:26Thank you
20:41We'll be right back
20:42Hey, welcome back
20:50Tonight we're going to end the show with Ryan Stiles
20:54Reading the credits for you
20:55Ryan, I want you to read the credits as a castaway
20:57On a desert island with your best friend, Wilson
20:59Good night, everybody
21:00See you next time, bye
21:01Oh, Wilson
21:05I wish Jack Madison was here
21:08I'd go home with you
21:10In Arthur Forrest
21:11Look at those stitches here, Wilson
21:14You're my best friend in the world
21:16Wilson
21:18You've got a body
21:19What are you telling me?
21:21You had a body
21:22Oh, no, you can't talk
21:24You have a body
21:25Is that what you're saying?
21:27All right, I'll play you a little game
21:28I see what you do
21:32Oh, yes, you have a move
21:35Yes, you have a move
21:37He's getting married
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