- 4/24/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:03On tonight's show, I'll tan your hide.
00:05Greg Crute, I'll stop your allowance.
00:08Wayne Brady, I'll turn this car around right now.
00:11Colin Lockley, and I'll give you something to try about.
00:15Wyatt Stiles!
00:16And host of Derek, right now, let's have some fun.
00:26Welcome, welcome, welcome, thank you.
00:30Welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:34That's right.
00:35Points are like the fruit plate at a rib joint.
00:38I get all kinds of jokes like that, man, but you don't want to hear me.
00:41Let's go on to a game called Superheroes.
00:42This is for all four of you.
00:44They're going to act out a scene as unlikely superheroes.
00:49Greg's here to start.
00:51And they're going to get the name, they'll name each superhero as they come in
00:55and try to screw the other guy up.
00:56What I need from the audience is the name of an unlikely superhero.
00:59Captain Flatulence!
01:01She did it already.
01:04Thanks for coming prepared.
01:06What?
01:06Captain Dandruff!
01:10Captain Dandruff, I like.
01:11What's the crisis for Captain Dandruff?
01:13Use no more shampoo!
01:14No more shampoo, Captain Dandruff!
01:18What are you going to do?
01:20Stand by for the next episode.
01:21Ah, another day here at the Fortress of Dandruff.
01:30Oh, I wonder, was Captain Flatulence just here?
01:32Great, leaping, snowy flakes of dead skin.
01:44There's no shampoo left on Earth.
01:46I hope my super friends arrive soon.
01:49Sorry I'm late, it was snowing outside.
01:50Oh, that's snowing.
01:54Thank goodness you're here, Elvis kid.
01:57Oh, it's great to be here, baby.
02:09There ain't no shampoo left, baby.
02:11There ain't no shampoo.
02:12Absolutely.
02:13I gotta give Stella a call.
02:14I hurried over as quickly as I could.
02:16Oh, Captain Bondage.
02:17Wow, how do you do that?
02:28No flakes at all.
02:33There's no shampoo left in the world, of course.
02:35Who cares?
02:36Sorry I'm late.
02:37Oh, thank God you're here, trick tap dancing kid.
02:42Want me to help you guys, huh?
02:44Help me!
02:44Help me!
02:44Help me out and get this other leg started.
03:14That was great.
03:27Three to four points apiece.
03:30It's the same three to four points that the polls use for the margin of error.
03:34So they're kind of special.
03:35Let's go on to a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles.
03:40This is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
03:42Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
03:44Hey, Ryan.
03:47We're going to have to have a scene for you.
03:49And I'm going to make them adopt different film and TV styles.
03:51And I'm going to get them from the audience here.
03:52What I need from the audience is your favorite film style, theater style, or style of television.
03:57And I'm going to have to have a scene for you.
03:59What?
03:59What?
03:59What?
03:59What?
03:59What?
04:00What?
04:00Xena.
04:01Xena.
04:02He-haw.
04:03What?
04:04What?
04:04Burlesque.
04:05Oh, burlesque.
04:06That's a good one.
04:06What?
04:07What?
04:07Spaghetti Western.
04:09Spaghetti Western.
04:09What?
04:10What?
04:10Animation.
04:11Animation.
04:11Animation.
04:12Charlie's Angels.
04:17Spanish soap opera.
04:18Soap opera.
04:19Spanish soap opera.
04:23Okay.
04:24We got enough.
04:24So let's go with the film, TV, and Theater Styles.
04:28You can start out normally, and then I'll buzz you in after we get going.
04:31The scene is you are three soldiers wading through a dangerous river on a mission to blow up an enemy bridge.
04:38Colin is the tough sergeant, and Ryan and Wayne are two rookies who have reached their breaking point.
04:45Take it away.
04:50Quack, quack.
04:55Hey, what was that for?
04:57You're supposed to be on a mission.
04:58I've reached my breaking point.
05:03Uh, enemy.
05:05That's a scene.
05:08What we all need is bigger guns.
05:16Beep.
05:20Charlie's Angels.
05:21Spanish Sopapro.
05:51What we gotta do is we gotta kill some of those guys that never take away.
06:21We gotta kill some guys, we gotta kill some of those guys, we gotta kill some of those.
06:40Uh, that was great. I'll give you a thousand points but in pesos.
06:44Now, let's go on to a game called Wedding.
06:48This is for everybody with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
06:56Raise your hand if you're married real quick, raise your hand if you're married.
06:58Anybody else married?
06:59Raise your hand.
07:00Okay, hold on one second.
07:06And what's your name?
07:07Kristen.
07:08Kristen, what's your name?
07:09I'm Eric.
07:10Eric, what is it that Kristen does that really bugs you?
07:13Uh, she stresses like you would not believe.
07:16Stresses like I wouldn't believe.
07:17I might believe it.
07:18Come on down.
07:19Come on down to Kristen.
07:20I'll fuck myself.
07:24Man.
07:32Man, 200 crew guys just yelled, my mortgage!
07:37Man.
07:38We were just watching our career pass before our eyes up here.
07:41I used to be on TV.
07:42Yeah.
07:43So, Kristen, you stress out about a lot of things real easily.
07:44And what we're going to pretend here is that you just married Colin.
07:45And Greg is the master of ceremonies at your wedding reception.
07:48And he'll explain everything as he goes.
07:49So, whenever you're ready, you guys just got married and you're the master of ceremonies
07:50at the reception.
07:51Take it away, Greg.
07:52We are all so happy for Colin and Kristen.
07:53Aren't we, ladies and gentlemen?
07:54What a fabulous, fabulous story.
07:55Now, your ex-husband, Eric, was such a butthead, wasn't he?
07:59He really made you angry, didn't he?
08:00Oh, yes.
08:01Oh, he just complained all the time.
08:02About everything.
08:03About everything.
08:04About everything.
08:05How long were you guys married, anyway?
08:06About seven months.
08:07What a jerk.
08:08So, has she been stressing about today, Cole?
08:09Well, she's been a little stressed because she worried that she's going to have to be
08:10all the time.
08:11So, we're all so happy for Colin and Kristen, aren't we, ladies and gentlemen?
08:12What a fabulous, fabulous story.
08:15Now, your ex-husband, Eric, was such a butthead, wasn't he?
08:20Oh, yes.
08:21He really made you angry, didn't he?
08:23Oh, yes.
08:24Oh, he just complained all the time.
08:26About everything.
08:27About everything.
08:28How long were you guys married, anyway?
08:30About seven months.
08:31What a jerk.
08:32So, has she been stressing about today, Cole?
08:35Well, she's been a little stressed because she worried the dress made her look a little
08:39hippie.
08:40Oh, no.
08:42But she looks beautiful.
08:43She's the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.
08:45She's wonderful.
08:46Is she better than your last three wives, you think?
08:52This is a family occasion.
08:53We just want you to relax.
08:55And we've got a special relative here.
08:57It's your Uncle Bob, Colin.
08:59It's an open bar today, isn't it, Uncle Bob?
09:11Oh, it sure is.
09:12I'm not paying it for her.
09:13My brother is.
09:15Now, Uncle Bob, you used to take Colin for walks, didn't you?
09:20Yes, which was very hot.
09:22I thought it was Chris' Uncle, but I was called, I'm so drunk, I can't remember.
09:27Oh, well, I'm actually, both are uncles, which is very odd.
09:30That is true.
09:32Oh, we're from the South, so what the hell?
09:34Yeah, what the hell?
09:35She's always been stressed out.
09:36You know, when she was born, she came out and slapped the doctor.
09:40Why don't you hammer down a little more, boys?
09:42Alrighty, I will.
09:43We have a very special guest in here today.
09:46I think you know who it is, Carl.
09:47Come on out, Wayne.
09:50Well, this is, did I tell you that I toured with James Brown?
09:56Well, this is his brother, Wayne Brown.
10:01Hey, that's my nephew.
10:03You know what?
10:04I brought him here.
10:05He's going to sing you about a thousand different ways to relax and get through this marriage the way it should be.
10:09Oh, it's the first dance.
10:10This is going to be so romantic.
10:12I want everybody.
10:14Everybody know that.
10:15Little girls, this is my mom over here.
10:16This is my mom.
10:17I want to put the red bottom in here now.
10:24Let me give this up.
10:25Hey!
10:27Hey!
10:29Listen to me now.
10:31Listen to me now.
10:32Now you got to start trusting that ain't great.
10:36When I'm walking, I got to bed and take.
10:38Got to grab the candles, do your best.
10:41Take something to smoke and sense.
10:43That's what you got to do now.
10:45Got to relax.
10:46What you got to do?
10:47You got to relax.
10:48Now!
10:50All you want to do, don't stress.
10:54Huh!
10:55Everybody know that that girl don't take no miss.
10:57Huh!
10:58Maybe if you can't relax.
10:59Like I told you.
11:00Maybe you better go get the blanket and you practice some yoga.
11:03Cause you got to relax.
11:04Got to relax.
11:05Huh!
11:06Got to relax.
11:07Huh!
11:08Congratulations, everybody.
11:09I got to go.
11:10I got to go.
11:11I got to go.
11:12I got to come.
11:14You got to relax.
11:15You got to relax.
11:16Huh!
11:17Congratulations, everybody.
11:18I got to go.
11:19I got to go.
11:20I got to come.
11:21I got to go.
11:22I got to go.
11:23I got to go.
11:25You got to go.
11:26You got to go.
11:27You got to go.
11:28Hey!
11:29Welcome back to Who's All Is It Anyway.
11:30Hey!
11:31Welcome back to Who's All Is It Anyway.
11:34Woo!
11:38Of course, we're the show where everything's made up of the points don't matter.
11:40And, hey, next week our special guest will be Big Mouth Billy, the singing, joke-telling
11:44bass.
11:47Let's continue on with a game called Greatest Hits.
11:49This is for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
11:52Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
11:53Woo!
11:54Woo!
11:55Woo!
11:58In this game, Colin and Ryan are going to be two TV pitchmen talking about the latest
12:02compilation album they're trying to sell.
12:04They're going to make up names of songs, and Wayne is going to try to sing them.
12:07What we need from the audience is typification.
12:10Hawaii!
12:11Safari!
12:12Safari!
12:13Okay.
12:14Safari.
12:15You were so enthusiastic about it.
12:17Safari it is.
12:19So the album is Songs of the Safari.
12:22Take it away.
12:23We'll be back to our afternoon special, The Little Red Dead.
12:27The Little Red Engine that got five to ten for arson.
12:31Hey, Colin.
12:32Yes, Ryan.
12:33What word comes before so good?
12:36Pretty good.
12:38No.
12:39Safari.
12:40Safari so good.
12:41See what I'm saying?
12:43Why, Ryan, that's almost like humor.
12:46But there won't be.
12:47Well, you know, sometimes a safari can be funny, Colin.
12:49Yes.
12:50And musical at the same time.
12:51That's why we've assembled six songs on eight CDs.
12:52Six songs on eight CDs?
12:53Yeah.
12:54A couple of songs are really long.
12:55Wow.
12:56You know, I don't know if you know, but I was in the chorus on Broadway.
12:59I didn't know that.
13:00Yes.
13:01In the early 40s to 60s.
13:02Oh.
13:03I didn't get very far and I broke my hip 15 times.
13:07Hip hip hooray.
13:08Anyway, what do you think?
13:09What do you think?
13:10I'm going to be talking about six songs on eight CDs.
13:11Six songs on eight CDs?
13:12Yeah.
13:13A couple of songs are really long.
13:14Wow.
13:15You know, I don't know if you know, but I was in the chorus on Broadway.
13:16I didn't know that.
13:17Yes.
13:18In the early 40s to 60s.
13:19Oh.
13:20I didn't get very far and I broke my hip 15 times.
13:22Hip hip hooray.
13:25Anyway, what do you think?
13:29Anyway, one of the Broadway shows I performed in was a Bob Fosse show.
13:34And one of the best safari related songs came from that show entitled,
13:38There's a pygmy in my pocket and a rhino on my tail.
13:42I got a little six inch native.
13:43Just as well.
13:44I can't go.
13:45I can't go.
13:46I can't go.
13:47I can't go.
13:48I can't go.
13:49I can't go.
13:50I can't go.
13:51I can't go.
13:52I can't go.
13:53You have to go.
13:54Listen, I've got no fear
14:00What was that? Oops, it's a spear
14:03I got a pygmy in my pocket
14:05And a rhino on my tail
14:09I got a little six-inch native
14:12He's poking me in the pocket
14:14And it feels like the rhino has got his horn
14:17Shoved up into my socket
14:19I got a pygmy in the pocket
14:22Rhino on the tail
14:23A pygmy in the pocket
14:24Ow, ow, I got a pygmy in my pocket
14:27Ow, that hurts
14:29Pygmy, rhino
14:34Pygmy, what you talking about?
14:37I got a pygmy in the pocket
14:39And a rhino on my tail
14:42That musical won 15 Tonys and a Jeff
14:59Hey Ryan, what's the matter?
15:10Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about a pygmy in my pocket
15:12You know
15:13Scat, scat, scat, scat, scat, scat
15:19I'm not saying go
15:22I'm just telling you one of my favorite music styles
15:25Boy, I didn't clue into that at all
15:27Scat is one of my favorites
15:30And I think one of my all-time favorite tunes
15:32As a matter of fact, my mother used to scat me to sleep with this little number
15:36I bet
15:36If I knew how to, I'd do the same thing
15:39Of course, my favorite song
15:42Hey, what I step in?
15:43Hey, what I step in?
16:07Hey, what I step in?
16:09Hey, what I step in?
16:13Hey, what I step in?
16:20Scat, scat, scat, scat, scat
16:23I'm not stepping
16:24And you know what, Colin?
16:35Brian, if you play that particular song backwards
16:38You can understand every word
16:39Really?
16:40Yes
16:40that is simply amazing
16:43and if you call right now
16:44we will send you absolutely free
16:46you can't call right now
16:46the lines are busy
16:47now they can call
16:50now you can call
16:51and we will send you
16:53absolutely free
16:54the packaging
16:54it comes in
16:55alright
16:55hey call
17:00yeah Ryan
17:01what do you like
17:02on your burritos
17:03or your taco chips
17:04why
17:05a little bit of paper
17:08say the paper you're eating
17:16is kind of bland
17:17what would you put on the paper
17:18to make it more exciting
17:19salt
17:19salt
17:20salt style
17:21one of my favorite music styles
17:30and none
17:31no song is closer to my heart
17:33than that great salsa hit
17:35simply titled
17:36because I'm at the watering hole
17:55with all of the animals in the jungle
17:58I see the giraffe
18:01he's so tall
18:02he makes me laugh
18:03but then the pachyderm comes
18:05and gives me a bat
18:06he says
18:07ole ole
18:09ole ole
18:11ole ole
18:13to me
18:14listen Mr. Elephant
18:16I'm not talking junk
18:18if you go
18:19to me
18:20I might hit you
18:21in your trunk
18:22but he's
18:22he goes
18:28ole
18:32ole
18:32welcome back to
18:39welcome back to
18:45here
18:45guys
18:46thank you
18:47thank you
18:47thank you
18:49thank you
18:49thank you
18:49thank you
18:51what we're going to do to you
18:52is we're going to sing
18:52a quick song for you
18:53called
18:54three headed broadway
18:55we're going to pretend to be
18:55a strange three headed broadway star
18:57and we're going to sing a song
18:59to Michelle here
18:59we got Michelle from the audience
19:00during the commercial
19:01say hi to Michelle
19:01hello
19:02hello
19:02hello
19:02hello
19:03hello
19:03so
19:05if you were going to write a broadway hit show
19:09what would the name of the broadway hit show be
19:11doing time
19:12what doing time
19:14doing time
19:15and if we were going to sing a big love song from that show
19:18to Michelle here
19:19from the broadway hit doing time
19:22what would the name of that song
19:23be block wife
19:25be block wife
19:26I like that
19:26be block wife
19:27so Michelle
19:28be block wife
19:29this is to you
19:30it's from the hit broadway musical
19:31doing time
19:32called
19:32be block wife
19:33one word at a time
19:35we're going to make it up
19:36be block wife
19:49that's you
19:51dear
19:53I
19:54don't
19:55love
19:56any
19:57other
19:58but
19:59you
19:59be
20:01block
20:02wife
20:02why
20:03don't
20:04you
20:05come
20:06to
20:06my
20:07cell
20:08late
20:09ter
20:11shower
20:15with
20:17me
20:18don't
20:22drop
20:22the
20:24soul
20:25be
20:28my
20:31be
20:31my
20:31beat
20:32block
20:33wife
20:35and
20:37I'll
20:38be
20:39your
20:40car
20:42love
20:43love
20:45love
20:46love
20:47love
20:48thank you Michelle
20:49thank you very much for the next time
20:50thank you so much
20:51oh thank you very much for the next time
20:53we're right back
20:54hey welcome back
20:58the news lines and anyway
20:59we're gonna have everybody read the credits for you tonight
21:01to end the show
21:02I want all you guys to read the credits as characters from a Spanish soap opera
21:06thanks for watching everybody
21:07see you later
21:07you can't do that to me
21:34thank you very much for the next time
21:36thank you very much
21:37thank you very much
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