- 4/26/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Mine Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, the baby of the family, Wayne Brady,
00:08daddy's little girl, Kathy Greenwood,
00:11the awkward little child, Colin Mochrie,
00:14and the red-headed step-kid, Ryan Stein!
00:18And I hope she'll care. Come on, y'all. Let's have some fun.
00:21Hello, hello!
00:27Whoo!
00:30Hello, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:34The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36That's right, the points are something you'll never see,
00:38like Pep Buchanan in the White House.
00:42You know, this is me yapping all night.
00:44Let's start with a game called Questions Only.
00:46This is for everybody. Kathy and Wayne, you're gonna start.
00:48This is also a really great party game, drinking game.
00:53If you're ever at a party with no chicks or booze,
00:55you want to line it up.
00:57It's called Questions Only.
00:58They're only allowed to speak in questions.
01:00That's all they're allowed to do.
01:01And when they go wrong, I'll buzz them,
01:03and the other person takes their place.
01:04It's kind of a little contest you can see out there the longest.
01:06The scene is, the patrons of an Old West saloon
01:09prepare for the arrival of the notorious Ugly Gang.
01:13Are you ready for the appearance of the notorious Ugly Gang?
01:19Woo-hoo!
01:20Well, honey, I've been, oh, gosh, yes, I am.
01:23Questions Only is for going up on you.
01:25What happened to my teeth?
01:27What happened to my teeth?
01:28Do you play that in C or D?
01:32What letter would you like?
01:34What letter do you think will get you killed
01:36by the notorious Ugly Gang?
01:37The Ugly Gang's coming?
01:39Haven't you heard?
01:40Where'd you hear that?
01:42Wouldn't you believe from Bob,
01:43the little guy who lives down the road in the teepee?
01:45Ain't you?
01:47Ain't Bob an anagram?
01:49Aren't you the smart one?
01:52Where's the okay corral?
01:54You want to take a left?
01:56Mind if...
02:03Is this where you join up for the Ugly Gang?
02:06What the hell happened to you?
02:18Who's asking?
02:19You ready to draw?
02:21Draw what?
02:29Are you the man they call Ugly?
02:31You have to ask?
02:36Why would they call you Ugly?
02:43Why do birds fly?
02:46Are you feeling something like I'm feeling something?
02:50Is that possible?
02:51I'm going to give you 500 points for that to Ryan Stiles,
03:03who can be seen every Wednesday at 9, 8, 10,
03:05on the Drew Carey Show, right here on ABC.
03:08So nice.
03:10If I'm going to give points,
03:11might as well make it worth my while.
03:13Let's go on to a game called African Chant.
03:16This is for everybody with Laurel Hall, Linda Taylor, and CCL.
03:25Hey, hello, how are you doing?
03:26What's your name, please?
03:27Mike.
03:28Mike, what are you for a living?
03:29I'm an astronomy graduate student.
03:31I'm sorry, I said for a living.
03:34Okay, come on, that's good enough.
03:35Astronomy graduate student, come on, have a seat.
03:37Mike here is an astronomy graduate student.
03:44Yeah, someday he'll be...
03:45Would you like pepperoni with that?
03:47Sorry.
03:48I know there's a lot of money in astronomy.
03:49I'm sorry, excuse me.
03:50I don't need a math.
03:51I know where I'm going.
03:52Yeah, yeah.
03:53You are a Gemini.
03:54I'm sorry, excuse me.
03:55I don't need a math.
03:56I know where I'm going.
03:57I see good things.
03:58I know where I'm going.
03:59Yeah.
04:00Yeah, yeah.
04:01You are a Gemini.
04:06You are a Gemini.
04:07You must do good things tomorrow.
04:09Okay, wait a minute.
04:10I'm sorry, we're just...
04:11It's a flexing seller.
04:12I'm sorry.
04:13Just some poor guy from the audience,
04:14and we're just busting his chops.
04:16What's going to happen is,
04:17Wayne's going to do an African chant to you.
04:19Of course.
04:20And the other three are going to do backup.
04:23That's the part I don't get.
04:27You're from the suburbs of Africa.
04:29Yeah, yeah, the suburbs of Africa, exactly.
04:31Oh, okay.
04:32Uh...
04:34On a small and nondescript cul-de-sac in Africa,
04:37lives Wayne Green.
04:39Good morning, Mr. Umbutu.
04:40Good morning to you.
04:41Good morning.
04:42So, uh, Mike is an astronomy graduate student.
04:44Take it away whenever you're ready.
04:45I'm going to be ready.
04:51I know Melanie!
04:54Mike.
04:56Mike.
04:58Mike likes to look at the stars.
05:01Cause his name is Mike.
05:04Mike.
05:06Mike don't understand,
05:07don't care how you faint.
05:09Keeps on his pants with Orion's bent.
05:12Name is Mike.
05:14Mike.
05:15Mike.
05:21Mike is just a student.
05:23But one day,
05:24Mike will use the stars
05:26to guide him on his way.
05:28His name is Mike.
05:29His name is Mike.
05:30His name is Mike.
05:31His name is Mike.
05:33His name is Mike.
05:35Mike.
05:36Mike.
05:37Mike.
05:38Mike.
05:39Mike.
05:40Mike.
05:41Mike.
05:42Mike.
05:43Mike!
05:44Mike.
05:45Mike.
05:47Mike.
05:48Mike.
05:49Good, and I had any luck you could use the stars to find me better back-ups
06:07Right let me tell you I know that it eats ya someday you study stars, but you'll end up delivering pizza
06:19Oh
06:30What is that Mike
06:33What is that Mike
06:37Mike says that's a galaxy it is full of stars after the show Mike is gonna get drunk in one of LA's bars
06:49Leave it right
06:58Yeah
07:02He name is
07:16Right
07:19Uh
07:23Thank you very much. We'll be right back. You know who's on. Let's go away
07:32Welcome back to who finds it anyway. Hey, you know when you're on the internet and you get an instant message
07:36It's really disgusting and filthy, but it almost turned you on that's me
07:40Now we're going to want a game called the millionaire show this is for cause of everybody really colin you're gonna be host of a game show called the millionaire show and
07:54uh
07:56Ryan is the contestant on the show
07:58Kathy you're the friend of the phone
08:00Ryan you're going up in the audience
08:02Uh, the twist is here. This is the frisky old people version
08:09The frisky old people version of the millionaire show take it away
08:12And now you're only two questions away from the one million
08:15Oh, hurry up. I'm not sure how much time I got left. All right. All right
08:20If you get that money, we're gonna do it. Oh, I'm good. I'm gonna quit my job. Oh, wait a minute. I already did that
08:27Oh, I don't know
08:29Oh, I don't do that
08:31Just try to keep you up there. Gotta get it started back up. Hold on. There we go
08:36You have two lifelines left. Oh, that's I mean that. Oh, you only have two
08:41I'm like a cat. You're like a cat. You keep thinking that
08:48Are you ready to try for it hurry up my toenails are getting yellow
08:51Let's go
08:57Viagra. Oh, I spent my honeymoon there
09:03It's by the lake in the forest. It's gorgeous. Well, there goes the first answer
09:12Well, then let's just hear the other three
09:14Viagra is a great tourist attraction many people come to see
09:18Yes, B responsible for something that could be a great tourist attraction that everyone wants to see
09:25C a godsend D none of the above
09:30Baby ct oh, yeah, I'm e there is no we f same as e
09:35I'm gonna have to use lifeline. All right. I'm gonna go. It's amazing. I met a beautiful young girl 22 years old
09:41And she's fallen in love with me
09:44I could get her on the get her on her cell phone. Her name's Bambi if you can get yes
09:47Yes, it is. I'm shocked. Oh, yeah, Bambi are you there? I'm here. Where's my sugar daddy?
09:52I'm right here. She calls me sugar daddy because I'm sweet
09:58Oh shoot
09:59Honey, did you hear the question?
10:01I'm sorry
10:05I love her laugh. Oh, they don't have to be smart. They just have to live
10:08Oh, I'll just go with a because it's nice and quick and easy
10:14Oh, okay. What does that remind you of?
10:18All right
10:19So her answer was a you mind if I say goodbye goodbye, honey. Is that it for sure this time?
10:24It is you keep it warm for me
10:32All right, so she said a yes the viagra is a tourist attraction. Oh, I better change that to be that
10:38It is your final answer. No way
10:43You picked a
10:53You know
10:55That means you're one question away from the million dollars. Oh, I am so excited
10:59I bet
11:01Fill in the rest of this quote
11:03Fill in
11:04Wait, I'm not finished yet. No, I haven't finished yet
11:07To be or not to
11:09A, B
11:12B, C
11:15C, we
11:17D, moi
11:21B or not to moi
11:25I gotta use another lifeline
11:27Oh
11:28I'm gonna go up into the audience
11:30No, well, sit here
11:32Well, there's someone in the audience
11:33No, no, I have someone in the audience
11:34Oh, all right, who are you gonna go to call?
11:36I'm going to go to my caretaker
11:39My caretaker Phyllis
11:42All right, Phyllis
11:43Now Phyllis, for God's sake, watch out for the people in front of you
12:01Phyllis is from Montana
12:02Oh, yeah
12:06Great Falls, Montana
12:07Phyllis, did you hear the question, honey?
12:13Yeah, I love money
12:15Everybody loves money
12:18One time I had relations with 45 men in one time
12:22I know
12:23Those were Germans, honey
12:27This is different times now
12:29Oh, no
12:30Did you hear the question, honey?
12:33What?
12:33The question
12:34What?
12:35Letter
12:36Let
12:37Pick a letter, honey
12:37Who are you calling batter?
12:39Certainly not you
12:43I hate you
12:45I can live with that
12:48I don't want
12:49I'm gonna have to go with B
12:51Whatever it is
12:51Because I remember in 1947
12:54And there was this little man
12:55Oh, and she gets into the story
12:56I don't hear the story
12:57I don't want to tell you
12:58She says B
12:59You've got to get her a sedative to put her out
13:01I'm telling you
13:08I have to go with what she says
13:10So you're saying it's B
13:11To B or not to C?
13:13A
13:14A? You're picking A?
13:15A
13:15All right, A is your final answer?
13:18Did I say that?
13:18You said A
13:19Oh, I suppose so then
13:20Oh, you stupid old fool
13:22Oh
13:22You picked A
13:24You win
13:24Are you kidding me?
13:26I'm not kidding
13:26You won
13:27No, I'm not
13:27You won
13:30Where have we go?
13:31Where's the
13:32Can you help me?
13:46You know what the great part about that game was?
13:48Because it was the frisky old people version
13:50Colin did not have to change his face at all
13:53And daring yourself to the crowd
14:01I was just kidding around buddy
14:02I know
14:03Okay, let's move on to one of my favorite games called Scenes from a Hat
14:14Now, before every taping of the show we ask our audience members to write down suggestions for different things
14:22And one of them is suggestions for this game
14:24We take the good ones, put them in this hat, see how many of the suggestions our performers can act out for us
14:29Starting with scenes from the Eskimo soap opera
14:33You're leaving me?
14:36You're leaving me?
14:47Oh Johnny, hold me
14:49I don't have protection.
15:05Rejected show names for whose line is it anyway?
15:12Hi, and welcome to Drew Carey's house payment.
15:19It's now time for Drew and Friend.
15:34I have no idea.
15:40What Kathy Greenwood is thinking right now.
15:44Oh, God, I love this game.
15:49Man, that Colin.
16:02Trying to look cool while doing very uncool things.
16:06Eek.
16:12Eek.
16:13Eek.
16:18Eek.
16:22Eek.
16:23Eek.
16:24Eek.
16:25Eek.
16:26Eek.
16:27Eek.
16:28Eek.
16:29Eek.
16:30What women say to each other
16:59in the bathroom during the Who's Line intermission?
17:04Sylvia?
17:05Yeah?
17:06Can you sing a hoedown?
17:07This is going to be noisy.
17:10I don't think Drew has any pants on under his desk.
17:21Odd things to see written on highway warning signs.
17:32Look in your back seat.
17:41Titles for Colin Mockrey's autobiography.
17:44How I Murdered Drew Carey.
18:01You don't need hair to satisfy every woman you've met.
18:05It's true.
18:20Other things you can see from the moon
18:22besides the Great Wall of China.
18:28Look!
18:29Those are Ryan's shoes!
18:30Thank you very much.
18:40We'll be right back with more Who's Line is in every way.
18:42We're after this.
18:42Don't want to wear it.
18:47Hey!
18:47Welcome back to Who's Line is in every way.
18:49Tonight's winner, Kathy Greenwood.
18:50Kathy Greenwood is here tonight.
18:53Uh, what was all that jumping up and down that did it?
18:56She's the winner.
18:57The rest of us are going to have to do a game for you
18:58called Hoedown, our favorite game, Hoedown,
19:00with up with Laura Hall on the panel.
19:01Laura, what do I need from this section of the audience?
19:05Something that happened to you that you want to keep secret.
19:09Got arrested.
19:09Let's do the Got Arrested Hoedown.
19:11Take it away, Laura Hall.
19:20Don't make fun of the police.
19:23I say, stop, because one of my best friends is a cop, because I like the way that they
19:30do their thing.
19:31I say, hey, it's a good thing.
19:33My name isn't Rodney King.
19:39When I was arrested, it wasn't good for me.
19:42They beat me and they stripped me and they searched my cavity.
19:45Why did this happen to such a guy?
19:49You say, well, tell you the truth, it was because I was arrested in L.A.
19:57I am quite unbalanced.
19:59My mind is not that steady.
20:01I once pummeled a guy with an Ever Ready.
20:04They took me down to jail and they arrested me.
20:08And they charged me with assault with a battery.
20:11I got sent to prison.
20:21I didn't know what to do.
20:22I felt so bad because I was so new.
20:26Didn't know the ways there.
20:28I felt like such a dope.
20:30But now I never been down to pick up any soap.
20:33Pick up any soap.
20:36Thank you, everybody.
20:39We'll be right back with our Hussar over this.
20:49Welcome back to Hussar's and Anyway Tonight.
20:51We're going to have everybody read the credits for you.
20:53You guys want to read the credits as frisky old people.
20:56Thanks for watching.
20:56Good night.
20:57We're going to be back.
21:01Jimmy Bong, Bill.
21:04That's it.
21:05That's Tom Pertz.
21:07You remember Tom Pertz?
21:10You say, we're going to take over to first time.
21:12That's as good as me.
21:14We're going to call her to be.
21:19I remember him.
21:24We're frisky and we're frisky world saving.
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