- 4/29/2025
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00:01Good evening, everybody, and welcome to
00:04Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, great outside speed, Brad Truewood.
00:09He likes to go deep, Wayne Brady.
00:11He's tough to bring down, Colin Mochrie.
00:14And if you can't take another hit to the head,
00:16Ryan Stiles.
00:18And I'm your host for Derek Martin.
00:19Now let's have some fun.
00:25Hello.
00:27Whoo!
00:29Welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right, the points are just like the actors' unions to Tiger Woods.
00:37Wow.
00:39Meantime, let's get the show started with a game called
00:42Let's Make a Date.
00:43This is for all four of you.
00:44Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to be contestants on a dating-type show,
00:47and they're hoping to be picked by Brad,
00:49who's going to question them about their suitability for a date.
00:52We've given each of them a strange, quicker identity.
00:55It's on these cards here, and Brad has to guess who they are.
00:58While he questions them.
01:00So whenever you're ready, Brad, take it away.
01:02Bachelor number one.
01:04I love romance.
01:06If you and I were in a romance novel,
01:08describe the opening scene.
01:10You think you're so pretty, do ya?
01:14I wouldn't go on a date with you if you were the last woman in Oz.
01:20Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
01:22Strange.
01:44Bachelor number two.
01:47If you would seduce me with food,
01:48what would you use and how?
01:52I'll get back to you.
02:04That did it.
02:26Beef.
02:28That seemed dirty.
02:31Bachelor number three.
02:33I love presents.
02:34What kind of present would you buy me?
02:35Well, if I could buy you a present, I would probably...
02:45Does anyone take the question, please?
02:56You have kissable lips, bachelor number three.
03:00Bachelor number one.
03:03Poof!
03:05Write me a poem.
03:07Now.
03:08Now.
03:09Little dater come from the west.
03:13I am your opponent, and I'll be the best.
03:16If you don't give me what I want, you'll be singing the blues.
03:19I'll beat your ass and take your red shoes.
03:24I can't imagine who you'd be.
03:40I can't imagine who you'd be.
03:42Bachelor number two.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Same question!
03:46All right.
03:47I...
03:48Oh, no!
03:49Oh!
03:50Hang on!
03:51I'll save you!
03:52I'll save you!
03:59Oh, no!
04:00Shh!
04:01I don't know how you're going to do it.
04:14Guess who they are.
04:15All right, let's see.
04:16Wayne was either the Wicked Witch of the West or Barbara Bush.
04:20Wicked Witch of the West.
04:21And the Wizards are not.
04:22Wicked Witch of the West.
04:23And the Wizards are not.
04:24Commie?
04:25Yes.
04:26Wicked Witch of the West.
04:27And her...
04:28And her what?
04:29A flying monkey, yeah.
04:30Oh, he was two people!
04:31That's very exciting!
04:32Uh, batch number two.
04:33He was a drunk fireman.
04:34Yes.
04:35And at first, I thought Ryan was Ed Sullivan, but I think he was a fish.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Go fish.
04:41A kissing fish.
04:42That's a bad thing.
04:43A fish.
04:44And a fish.
04:45That's a bad thing.
04:46You know, it's the best.
04:47Oh, no.
04:48Oh, no.
04:49No.
04:50No.
04:51No.
04:52No.
04:53No.
04:54No.
04:55No.
04:56No.
04:57No.
04:58No.
04:59No.
05:00No.
05:01No.
05:02thousand points everybody I don't know why do we even make you guess at the end of that game I
05:10don't know it's like there's something at stake yeah let's move on to a game called duet this
05:16is for Brad Wayne with the help of Laura Hall Linda Taylor and King Gerard I'm by him
05:20hello what's your name Kim Kim what do you do for a living Kim I saw light bulbs oh a lot of
05:30money in that is there okay come on down here Kim say hi to Brad Wayne so you sell light bulbs huh
05:42not door-to-door or anything like that right no hi I'm a light bulb salesperson of course light
05:49seems to be out okay you're gonna sing a song to Kim the light bulb sales lady but I like you
05:54do it in the style says here as a Jewish wedding oh good because I've been to a lot yeah you and
06:05Sammy never hung out or anything okay it's just about the girl she's the bride so go ahead and sing
06:10away a girl named Kim mix me say
06:40hello I love you gee hey there Kim it's so good to see ya when I need a light bulb I get a new idea
06:53oh Kim oh Kim oh Kim oh Kim oh Kim I would buy a boat from you not him oh Kim oh Kim you keep my life
07:08from being so dim oh Kim you are the one for me oh yes now you see I know I love you true I turn it on to two
07:19so what it is so high and now I wonder why you are with some new guy
07:25oh Kim oh Kim you are the girl I like I fly a kite just to find the letters of tea for you I go to me hey hey hey hey oh Kim you are so effervescent
07:371500 I will like you but listen and I am
07:40Oh
07:59Welcome back to his eyes in anyway the show everything's made up the points don't matter
08:03Let me take this moment to give you a plug for Wayne Colin or Ryan's next movie and Brad
08:07They all have a movie coming out. It's called combination of coyote ugly
08:12Scary movie and the X-Men. It's called it's scary. How ugly those men are
08:23Let's go to a game called infomercials for Ryan and Colin
08:26You're gonna be two guys doing infomercial about a new miracle product and you're gonna use items in that box to help
08:32Sell the miracle product underneath the audience is a suggestion of a product you might see in an infomercial for self-reproving
08:37Or beauty enhancement
08:41Cellulite cream, okay, so let's hear about this new cellulite cream take it away
08:46Good evening, it's 12 o'clock on a Saturday, and there's nothing else to watch so it's time to shop
08:52Do you have cellulite I don't but I know plenty of people who do you don't
08:57Hey, you stop it Ryan
09:01Everyone's got celluloid even a guy like me celluloid that's film
09:06That's what I what are you like
09:11All right, yes, I
09:15Well, it is unsightly but we have got products that will get rid of it in months flat exactly right called
09:21You know, we have so many products. Well, let's take a look at one of them right now call a
09:26Simple bag of green peas white Ryan. How could that possibly fight the war against cellulite? Well, let me tell you
09:33You know celluloid is cause
09:40So you like is caused by eating too much of course of course of course of course we find if you eat the foods
09:48Inside the bag without taking them out
09:51You don't get the nutrition or the fat from the food
09:54It sounds crazy, but it works
10:01Why what can this do do you know it looks like some sort of weird?
10:04Oh, I don't know home batting cage or some sort of fish. No you silly goose. What is it?
10:09It's a cellulite fighter what you stick this up against the back of your thigh, huh?
10:13Get a friend to push it really hard the cellulite comes out. You just iron it away
10:20You iron it away
10:24Boy I bet stuff like this must be expensive are you kidding this cost next to nothing, but it's actually
10:32$25.94 that is next to nothing call what is this I wonder where do you get celluloid the most call?
10:38Well, I guess celluloid elsewhere cellulite. I get right around my you're what you're what around my that's about that size
10:48Oh
10:49See call what you do is you put this on one of the cheeks of your bum now
10:54There's a special nozzle here where you can get a close friend. I'm really close friend
10:58the
10:59Blow
11:02Pushing the celluloid away pushing it away pushing it away forever, and I'm not talking about film
11:13Are you getting that bad act together again?
11:17Yes, I am
11:21What's that look like to you why that looks like some sort of furniture polish with the brand name erased
11:27It is I don't know what it's doing in there
11:33Oh really bad cases
11:37This is not for everyone these are for people who have a bad case of cellulite
11:45What happens is you attach this to the bottom
11:49Shall I attach it for you call it all right?
11:51I'll just hold it you stick the rest of the cellulite in there and it carries it as you walk
11:56You're walking actually pulls the cellulite in through the back of your thighs out to your knees where wrinkles don't matter
12:05You know what is so great about all this stuff calling what if none of this works and it will but if none of it works
12:11You can take the box we ship this stuff in just walk around town like this
12:15You're talking about celluloid yeah, yeah
12:21uh celluloids as you all know is uh fat hemorrhoids celluloid you're talking about celluloid yeah yeah
12:35let's go on to a game called scenes cut from a movie this is for all four of you
12:42now what i need for the audience is names of your favorite famous movies
12:47showgirls pulp fiction saving private ryan psycho
12:57oh casablanca caddy chef okay we got enough we got enough okay we've discovered uh scenes were cut
13:10from these different famous movies and our performers are going to act them out for you
13:14to show you what you missed starting with the scene that was cut from psycho
13:17showgirls
13:36you ready
13:41pulp fiction
13:51you know what they call a burrito in china
13:56you know the funny thing that is what they call a burrito in china
14:12uh gump forrest gump
14:17life is kind of like a a bag with a bunch of bugs in it you open it and it all just spreads out all over
14:28the floor
14:30hum
14:31hum
14:35come on man
14:39i'm gonna beat your ass
14:41i'm gonna beat your ass
14:43whoo
14:45whoo
14:47saving private ryan
14:48from tom hanksville
14:49the bathroom is free now
14:56the bathroom is free now
15:03tabby shack
15:10braveheart
15:23all right men we're going into battle tomorrow
15:28aye aye aye
15:29before we do i think we should all take a shower
15:34that would be good we've set up some shower faucets right here on the battlefield
15:39who wants to be first
15:41uh i don't want my freedom
15:43a thousand points to colin for sounding like the woman from uh chicken run
15:55instead of from braveheart
16:02do that again that was pretty funny
16:03i don't want my freedom
16:06let's move on to a game called irish drinking song irish drinking song
16:12help at glora hall and king gerard
16:15king gerard
16:17now audience if something uh might happen to you that you would want to keep secret what would that something be
16:22green whiskey sleep with an ugly woman i can't keep it
16:25slept with an ugly woman
16:27let's do the slept with an ugly woman irish drinking song
16:30and these guys are going to make up this song for you one line at a time
16:34so the slept with an ugly woman irish drinking song one line at a time
16:37take it away
16:45once when i was celebrating i went to bed
16:48i had too much to drink
16:50i woke up to an ugly head
16:52she turned over
16:53and i saw her face
16:55i screamed in surprise
16:57and i sprayed her with mace
16:58i jumped round and ran away
17:03and put on all my clothes
17:05and then i ran from the house
17:07i hit her i do suppose
17:09but she chased right after me
17:11she got into her car
17:13she didn't get there
17:14she looked like jamie far
17:16oh
17:17oh
17:21although she was so ugly
17:22i took her anyway
17:23i used her to scare children away
17:26what the hay
17:27boy it really worked good
17:29i remember that day
17:31then i took her to the dog park
17:33said what the hay
17:34oh
17:35oh
17:38i tried to forget it
17:40i tried to drink a lot
17:42because she was so ugly
17:44and the day would come again
17:47that i'd meet her
17:49i was so scared
17:51it looked like someone had beat her
17:52oh
17:54i didi
18:15hey welcome back to who
18:16guys anyway
18:18winner colin muckley and uh as promised the winner just gets to lay around on his butt like i do
18:27during the show and we're also the rest of us going to work for you we're going to do a game
18:29called foreign film dub what happens is uh give us this language first of all you like to see us
18:33french uh french wayne and i are going to pretend to speak french uh ryan's going to translate for
18:38me rad's going to translate for wayne and if you're a french action film director what would
18:43the name of your french action film be uh-huh that was a good one i heard that one so the name of
18:50the french action movie is uh-huh starring wayne and me take it away
19:02keep a lookout for the cops i will try to open the safe and then we will watch hogan's heroes
19:13uh but it's october it's time for me to shower
19:26wait one more month for your shower we must break into the safe and get a valuable book
19:36i can't move i've had too many croissants
19:38oh no i've accidentally set off the do the hustle alarm
19:51no no i cannot do that dance with my clothes on i must take them off now
20:15hey hey
20:18hello with that don't tell you what that okay
20:29We'll be right back with more Who's Out of Everything Take Away.
20:46Welcome back, folks.
20:47Tonight, we're going to have everybody read the credits for you.
20:49All you guys are going to read the credits for us like, um...
20:52You're going to read the credits for us like the Wicked Witches of the West.
20:55Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time on Whose Line Is It Anywhere?
20:59Hey, you're getting a little bit of an adaption.
21:06Come back.
21:08It's pushed to you.
21:09Thanks, everybody.
21:10It's ready.
21:17Oh, you're missing.
21:19I was really a done way out.
21:20I'm going to take it.
21:23What are you doing?
21:24Stupid, spooky.
21:25I'm sorry.
21:28I'm sorry.
21:33I'm sorry.
21:34What's up?
21:35All right.
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