- 4/24/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, I just met a girl named Maria.
00:07Greg Groots, ready to write check.
00:09Wayne Brady, I'd like to be in America.
00:12Call it mockery, and I feel pretty.
00:15Ryan Stiles, Patrick Carrier, your host.
00:18Come on, now, let's have some fun.
00:27Oh, whoa.
00:28Hello, welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:33Where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:35That's right, the points don't matter, just like who the president is.
00:40You guys have been brainwashed by your social studies teacher.
00:44That's what happened to you.
00:45First, let's start out everything with a game called Superheroes.
00:48It's for all four of you. Why don't you come on up here?
00:49They're going to act out a scene for you as unlikely superheroes.
01:00Greg's going to start, and then they're going to name each other on the way in
01:02and try to screw each other up.
01:04Let's start out with a name of an unlikely superhero for Greg.
01:07Greg, stop for a second.
01:12What?
01:13Imaginary friend boy.
01:14Okay, that's a good one. Imaginary friend boy. Good for you.
01:20Imaginary friend boy.
01:24So, Greg, you're imaginary friend boy.
01:30And what's the crisis for imaginary friend boy?
01:33We're out of donuts.
01:34You're out of donuts.
01:36You're out of donuts, imaginary friend boy.
01:38What are you going to do?
01:39Here we go.
01:41No, don't you dare say that about Drew.
01:43I think he's fantastic.
01:46No, Colin is too trying to grow it back.
01:52That's just naughty.
01:54Oh, hold on a minute.
01:55Great leaping salamanders of flame.
01:59The world vision monitor.
02:01My goodness, all the donuts are gone.
02:03Why, we won't be able to get a policeman to save our lives.
02:06What's that?
02:13What's that?
02:14Yes, I hope they arrive soon, too.
02:17There's nothing I can do until they come.
02:19Sorry I'm late.
02:21Thank goodness you're here, breakup and makeup kid.
02:26You look horrible today.
02:27I'm so sorry.
02:30Get off me.
02:31Come closer.
02:34We're out of donuts.
02:34Yes, I know.
02:36I told him.
02:37Who cares about donuts?
02:38Are you concerned?
02:39Well, a little bit.
02:40I hurried over as quickly as I'm not talking to you, Four Eyes.
02:44The overly sensitive kid.
02:48I told you.
02:49I heard what you said.
02:51I heard.
02:51He wants to meet you.
02:52Come to daddy.
02:53Come to daddy.
02:55He wants to meet you.
02:56Daddy, why did you leave?
03:00We're out of donuts.
03:01Oh, no.
03:03Sorry I'm late.
03:03Oh, thank God you're here, Matrix boy.
03:07Donuts?
03:09Donuts.
03:16Come, come, come.
03:17Come, come, come.
03:18Come, come.
03:19Come, come.
03:21Come, come.
03:26Oh.
03:27That was horrible.
03:28Oh, that was great.
03:30Do not try to eat the donut.
03:32Instead, try to realize the truth, that there are no donuts.
03:35Don't worry.
03:35I've got a lot of donuts.
03:37Donuts.
03:38Yes, yes.
03:40I like his ass, too.
03:45I'll see you later.
03:46Shut up.
03:47Come here.
03:49Bye-bye.
03:50Was he making fun of me?
03:51No, I don't think so.
03:52Shh.
03:55Hey.
03:55Hey.
03:57What's that for?
04:02I never want to see your face again.
04:05Dinner at eight?
04:06Okay.
04:06Okay.
04:08Come on, everybody.
04:09We're going to Legoland.
04:10Come on.
04:10Come on.
04:11That was fantastic.
04:20A thousand points of ease.
04:21I heard next season they might even start paying you guys.
04:23What?
04:24That'd be nice.
04:25Enjoy the points in the meantime.
04:27A thousand points of ease.
04:28We're going to move on with a game called Song Styles.
04:31This is for Wayne Brady with the help of Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, and M. King.
04:35M. King on the trumpet.
04:36Go up here to the audience.
04:38You there in the pink.
04:44What's your name?
04:45You.
04:45Yeah.
04:46Robin.
04:46Robin, what do you do for a living, Robin?
04:48I'm a candy girl.
04:50What does that mean?
04:52I walk around at a casino and I sell candy and sugar on.
04:55Oh, good for you.
04:56Come over here, Robin.
05:00Come over here.
05:01Come over here.
05:01Come over here.
05:01Say hi to Wayne Brady.
05:04Come over here.
05:05Say hi to Wayne.
05:08Wayne, this is Robin.
05:09She's a candy girl at a casino in Las Vegas.
05:13No, here.
05:14Oh, one of the card colors?
05:15Yeah, in Gardena.
05:16Really?
05:16In Gardena.
05:16She sells candy and cigarettes.
05:21She sells candy and cigarettes.
05:22She walks around selling candy and cigarettes at a casino.
05:24Candy and cigarettes.
05:24And you are going to sing a song to her as Louis Armstrong.
05:29Okay.
05:32Candy and cigarettes.
05:33Okay, Sonny, we're just wondering why we have Ann King here in the horn.
05:35That's why, because he's going to sing a song like Louis Armstrong.
05:39So, whenever you're ready, go sing a song.
05:42Make up a song for Robin the Candy Girl.
05:43She sells cigarettes to me.
05:58She's my dream.
06:04That, that, she's arrived in the nicotine.
06:12Yeah, yeah.
06:14Now, now, now.
06:16Nobody's better.
06:18And nobody does it quicker.
06:21Hurry up with my pack of cool.
06:23Lay on me a Snickers.
06:25Yeah.
06:26Now, here we go.
06:53Bow Bow Bow.
06:55Nobody can do it, nobody can do that
07:14Because I want you to touch my chocolate
07:17All the way down to my nougat
07:19Oh yeah
07:25Welcome back to Who Brian is in Any Way
07:40The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter
07:43Hey, did you see that there's a new channel
07:45It's a combination of the Animal Planet
07:46History Channel and A&E
07:48Yeah, I don't know what it's called
07:50But yesterday I watched a biography of Hitler's dog
07:52He's guiltless
07:58So let's go on with a game called Probable Mission
08:00This is for Colin and Ryan
08:02And they're going to be
08:03You guys are secret agents carrying out an everyday activity
08:09And your instructions will come from Greg
08:10What I need from the audience is a mundane, boring activity
08:13Mowing the lawn
08:17Mowing the lawn, I think I heard
08:20So the mission is to mow the lawn
08:23And Greg's going to give the secret agents instructions
08:26Called Improbable Mission
08:27Take it away whenever you're ready
08:28I got the mail
08:31They didn't send a tape, they sent a letter
08:33I'll read it, you listen to my thoughts
08:34Hello, how are you?
08:37I am fine
08:38Recently, our family went on
08:40This is from my hands
08:41Here it is
08:43Listen, oh
08:48Good afternoon, gentlemen
08:49How are you?
08:51Fine, how are you?
08:51Good, I'm very well, thank you
08:53Your mission, if you decide to accept it
08:57Is one of the gravest importance of national security
08:59The Grand Duke of Gondrevi
09:01The Grand Duke of Gribli
09:02The Grand Duke of
09:03Hard to pronounce here
09:04Is coming to Washington
09:08Where he wishes to play croquet with the vice president
09:10The lawn in front of the White House
09:12Must be manicured down to a fine sheen
09:14Your job, if you decide to accept it
09:16Is to
09:17Turn page
09:17Mow the lawn as closely as you can
09:21By any means necessary
09:22Using any technology you can
09:24If any of you or your team are caught or killed
09:26The secretary will say something awful about you at your funeral
09:29This letter will turn into a bird
09:32And fly away right now
09:33That's just like
09:38It's amazing
09:39Well, we have no time to be
09:45Swayed by amateur tricks
09:47We have a job to do
09:48Let's get to it
09:50The White House
09:52That's more than 500 miles away
09:53Yeah
09:55But you know what?
09:57What?
09:57If we go in the other direction
09:58It's next door
09:59Right
09:59There it is
10:01Wow
10:03I don't know
10:04It looks like a lot of security
10:05A big large gate
10:06Quick, give me a chocolate bar
10:07What?
10:07A chocolate bar
10:08How are we gonna
10:11How are we gonna get in?
10:16Wait
10:16The chocolate bar
10:17What?
10:18Well, that's loaded with nuts
10:19Go on
10:20Throw all the nuts on the other side
10:24The squirrels will come and pile up
10:25We can climb up the squirrels and over the fence
10:27It's so simple
10:28Think
10:29Step back
10:31Okay, do it
10:34Scream, scream, scream, scream, scream
10:36All right, over
10:37Oh, let me down
10:38Now
10:41You're all right
10:45I didn't bring any lawn mowing tools
10:48That's all right
10:49Neither did I
10:50Just
10:52That's bad
10:52What?
10:53That's bad
10:53Why?
10:54Well, we need something to cut the lawn with
10:55Wait a minute
10:56Maybe my hypnotic powers will help us
10:58And sleep
11:00You
11:01Are a goat
11:03Wake up
11:04How are we gonna cut this lawn?
11:07Chicken
11:07Chicken
11:08What are we gonna do with the chicken?
11:10I forgot the wrong cue word
11:11What was it?
11:13Well, look
11:14Start pulling it up by the root
11:15What?
11:16I know
11:16This is so simple
11:18I'll dig a hole underneath the grass
11:20You pull it down until it's level
11:21What was I thinking?
11:25Hey, wait, wait
11:26Quarter
11:27Oh
11:28All right
11:28I'm going under
11:29This could take a while
11:32You're right
11:38It's taking too long
11:39Quick, come out
11:39Come out
11:40It's taking too long
11:41I can't hear you
11:42It's taking too long
11:44Oh, right
11:44Man
11:47I've got an idea
11:51Another one?
11:51I hope it's as good as the last one
11:53Put on the sheep costume
11:54The sheep costume?
11:56Again?
11:58Oh
11:59Oh
11:59Oh
11:59Sit me up
12:01You've forgotten today
12:05That there's an international meeting of sheep
12:07Is that today?
12:08Yes
12:08If you can entice them
12:10They're very hungry around this time
12:12All right
12:12Entice them onto the lawn
12:13Put on my French maid outfit
12:15You heard me
12:16On me?
12:17Not me
12:17Oh
12:18Hide behind a bush
12:21It's working
12:27It's working
12:28It's working
12:28Oh
12:34Oh
12:34Oh
12:35One of them got my leg
12:36Oh
12:37I can't take it over anymore
12:39We've only got half the lawn mowed
12:40And I'm injured
12:41It's up to you
12:42All right
12:47I've got an idea
12:47What?
12:48Just watch this
12:50Hey, you're rolling up the lawn
12:52That's right
12:53Wait a minute
12:56You've turned the lawn over
12:59Yes
12:59But wait
13:00I snuck into the presidential pool room
13:07I ripped off the top of the
13:09Do I have to explain everything?
13:11The felt off the top of the pool?
13:13Yes
13:13What are all these stains?
13:15But when we mark jokes about presidential stains
13:28That's when I hit the buzzer
13:30Right
13:30That was great
13:31A thousand points for
13:32Giving me the sheep image in my head
13:34Now I can count you if I get sleepy tonight
13:38Little Ryan's in sheep outfits
13:41Let's move on to a game called
13:45Scenes from a Hat
13:46This is all four of you
13:52We're going to play this
13:53Now what we're going to do
13:54Before the show
13:55We ask the audience
13:56Write down suggestions for things
13:57We take the good ones
13:58And we put them in this hat here
13:59And I'm going to draw the suggestions
14:02For things the audience like to see
14:03And then you back out as many as you can
14:04Starting with this one
14:06If you could fast forward in real life
14:09So anyway
14:13I'm an insurance salesman
14:14This is the best party I've ever been to
14:19Thank you for coming out with me tonight, Yvonne
14:26This never happens to me
14:35How today's issues would be handled on the Brady Bunch
14:45Hey Peter, Marsha, guess what?
14:51I'm black
14:52Improper etiquette when meeting the Queen
15:04Of England, I'm guessing
15:07Pull this
15:11Your Majesty
15:18Butter
15:30Okay, okay
15:40Who am I?
15:41Who am I?
15:41Who?
15:41Who?
15:41Who?
15:41Who?
15:41Who?
15:43Who?
15:44Who?
15:46Who?
15:46Who?
15:47The good news and the bad news.
15:59Whew, the elections are over.
16:02President Bush?
16:03The good news is the surgery was successful
16:16and now you look like a movie star.
16:18The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey.
16:20Merry Christmas, Tommy.
16:34Look, it's Geppetto on DVD.
16:45I like it.
16:47I was in it, I liked it.
16:49The bad news was it was Christmas.
16:52I like this good news and bad news, Ryan.
16:53That's pretty good.
16:55This is another one.
16:56Pull the string on the Drew Carey doll and it says...
17:04It was nice the time we worked together, Greg.
17:07You're fired.
17:15Lower.
17:19Whatever you want, baby.
17:26I don't care.
17:27Oh.
17:29Mimi and I are the same person.
17:34Eat.
17:35Eat.
17:35Eat.
17:35Eat.
17:36Eat.
17:36Eat.
17:37Eat.
17:37Eat.
17:38Eat.
17:38Eat.
17:39Eat.
17:39Eat.
17:40Eat.
17:41Eat.
17:41Eat.
17:42Eat.
17:42Eat.
17:43Eat.
17:43Eat.
17:44Eat.
17:44Eat.
17:45Eat.
17:45Eat.
17:46Eat.
17:46Eat.
17:47Eat.
17:47Eat.
17:48Eat.
17:48Eat.
17:49Eat.
17:49Eat.
17:50Eat.
17:50Eat.
17:51Eat.
17:51Eat.
17:52Eat.
17:52Eat.
17:53Eat.
17:53Eat.
17:54Eat.
17:54Eat.
17:55Eat.
17:56Eat.
17:57Eat.
17:58Eat.
17:59Eat.
18:00Eat.
18:01Eat.
18:02Eat.
18:03Eat.
18:04Eat.
18:05Eat.
18:06Eat.
18:07Eat.
18:08Eat.
18:09Eat.
18:10No, me. No, me. No, I am. No, it's me.
18:14Me. No, me. No, I am.
18:17Everyone pull out their ticket stubs.
18:19We will now raffle off Drew's Porsche.
18:21Yeah.
18:24Okay. Thank you very much.
18:26We're going to see information.
18:27We'll be right back with more
18:28Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:29Don't go away.
18:36Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:37Tonight's winner is Greg Crooks.
18:39Greg Crooks to come in.
18:42And the rest of us are going to do a game for you
18:43called Hoedown. It's our favorite game in the world.
18:45Right, guys? Hoedown.
18:46On top of Laura Hawley's piano.
18:49What I need from the audience is I need a suggestion of a...
18:52What would... What's your idea of a glamorous profession?
18:54Rockstar.
18:56Rockstar.
18:57Rockstar.
18:59Rockstar. We'll do the Rockstar Hoedown.
19:03Take it away, Laura Hawley.
19:04We're going to be ready. The Rockstar Hoedown.
19:09If you don't like music, well, you better stop.
19:15I love rock musicians and those kids who sing pop.
19:19Oh, you say, I don't like that music.
19:21Yeah, that's what you think.
19:23But trust me, nobody gets more booty
19:25than that group in sync.
19:34When I became a rockstar,
19:36I thought it'd be sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
19:38I thought that all the women would really take their toll.
19:41But now there's this fact that really makes me loopy.
19:45Collin Mockery is my only groupie.
19:57I am a member of the world's oldest band.
20:00I slept with every supermodel in the land.
20:04Well, I didn't get one, but that is her loss.
20:07A Rolling Stone never gets no Kate Moss.
20:19I want to be a rockstar, oh, that I can see.
20:22I think that that would be the job for me.
20:26Rock and roll isn't the best music I've found,
20:30but at least they don't have to do a stinkin' hoedown.
20:34Stinkin' hoedown.
20:38We'll be right back with our Who's Nighting?
20:40Right after this. Take our way.
20:45Hey, welcome back to Who's Nighting?
20:46Tonight, we're going to end the show
20:49with Ryan Stiles reading the credits for us.
20:51And Ryan, I want you to read the credits
20:53as an evil hypnotist trying to hypnotize
20:56all the viewers at home.
20:57Thanks for watching, everybody.
20:58We'll see you next time. Good night.
21:00Ben Patterson and Mark Leveson are many of my...
21:06Credits roll as you look deep into my eyes.
21:08You will ask Drew Carey to give Lewis a bigger part
21:12on the other show and raise his salary on Who's Nighting.
21:16Phone Drew Carey. Get his number out of the phone book.
21:20Phone him day and night. Do not let up.
21:22Call for a ban on small Englishmen.
21:26Do not let them into the country anymore.
21:29And the English from the US.
21:33Phone Türwie
21:34ение
21:47You
21:48You
21:48You
21:49You
Recommended
21:33
|
Up next
21:39
21:35
21:37
21:35
21:41
21:36
21:33
21:35
21:33
21:35
21:37
21:40
21:37
21:36
21:34
21:35
21:41
21:39
21:36
21:37
21:35
21:36
21:34
21:35