- 4/26/2025
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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, I am Spartacus.
00:07Wayne Brady. I am Spartacus.
00:09Jeff Davis. I am Spartacus.
00:12Colin Bakri. And yeah, yeah, that's Spartacus.
00:15That's the guy right there.
00:16Ryan Stiles!
00:18Hey, I'm your host, Rick Garrett. Come on, Donald. Let's have some fun.
00:26Oh, hello.
00:28Thank you very much.
00:30Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:33The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:35That's right, the points are like a microphone at a Britney Spears concert.
00:40I got all kinds of jokes like that, man, but you don't want to hear me.
00:43Let's start off the show with a game called Questionable Impressions.
00:45This is for all four of you, Questionable Impressions.
00:47Jeff and Wayne are going to start.
00:49What they have to do is they can only ask each other questions,
00:51and they have to do an impression at the same time.
00:55So it always has to be a different impression, and they can only ask questions.
00:58It's a great party game, if you've ever had a party where there's no booze or chicks.
01:03What I need from you is a place where there's a sense of urgency.
01:07Emergency room!
01:08Kitchen!
01:09Kitchen.
01:11All right.
01:13Kitchen when you're cooking something.
01:14You have a bedroom in your house.
01:15Uh, okay, go ahead.
01:18Questionable Impressions, you're in the kitchen.
01:20Start whenever you're ready.
01:22Mom, are you done with the pie or what?
01:25Are we going to eat today?
01:29Tell me, do you think that you can tell me where all the jello is?
01:32Why don't you try looking for yourself?
01:44Why do you speak to your mother like that?
01:51I'm going to leave.
01:52And Jess, what do you think you're doing, young man?
02:05Do I look like a cook?
02:14Have you been putting a tap on mommy's phone lines again?
02:17What do I do?
02:18Something like that.
02:19They want a hill of beans.
02:30Who the hell are you trying to do?
02:39What's with the smart mouth?
02:40Ah, can't you see?
02:48The kitchen's on fire.
02:49Get out!
03:01Have you seen the coat, malt, liquor?
03:03Do you want to live?
03:09Calm down, buddy.
03:11Why are you so mad?
03:12Try this.
03:17Almost got it.
03:19Almost got it.
03:21Do you have anything for Craig T. Nelson?
03:23Do you know I was in coach?
03:40I think that pot...
03:42Mother, why, uh, why, uh, and I am Jeff Goldblum, of course.
03:52Why, uh, why is it that you continue to cook, uh, food that the family doesn't like, uh, and, uh, and isn't healthy?
04:01And isn't healthy?
04:02Why?
04:03Mother?
04:03I don't know.
04:04Where are the eggs, you big dummies?
04:14Thank you very much.
04:16Thank you very much.
04:21Thousand points to Colin for his masterful impression of Craig T. Nelson.
04:26Man.
04:29It was just fantastic.
04:30I never, uh, is he Canadian?
04:31Is that why?
04:32Yeah, yeah.
04:32Oh.
04:33That explains it all.
04:34Now we go to a game called Film, TV, and Theater Styles.
04:37This is for Ryan, Colin, and Wayne.
04:39And, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
04:41It's gonna happen.
04:52They're gonna act out a scene, but first, I need from the audience your favorite style of television show, film, or theater.
05:01Fellini.
05:03Western.
05:04Western.
05:05Shakespeare.
05:06Horror.
05:07Horror.
05:08Passion play.
05:11I'll see what happens.
05:17Woody Allen.
05:18I'll put kung fu movie for the Chinese movie.
05:21Okay, we got a lot.
05:22So, let's start, uh, so let's start, uh, as normal, and I'll buzz in with these styles later.
05:25The scene is, Ryan and Colin are two fishermen landing and gutting fish on a trawler, when Wayne, the captain, spots the storm of the century approaching.
05:35Take it away.
05:37Take it away whenever you're ready.
05:40Whoa!
05:43Whoa!
05:44Oh, okay, okay.
05:55Arrgh, you too.
05:57I've just noticed off the West Wing.
06:02What, Captain?
06:03I haven't been a captain very long.
06:06It appears a storm's coming.
06:08The storm of the century.
06:12Shakespeare.
06:13The storm of a century.
06:16Once every hundred years does it come.
06:18If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish.
06:31Oh, foul wind that does blow and waves that do crest.
06:34Oh, sorry.
06:40Fellini.
06:40Fellini.
06:43Fellini.
06:44Every time the boat, it gets longer, but my eyesight is shorter.
06:50I want a fat prostitute.
07:01Hey, don't we all.
07:02Uh, Woody Allen.
07:08If you guys don't leave me alone, I'll be forced to take my wife and leave you.
07:13I'm crazy like that.
07:22Horror movie.
07:24My God, that was a horrible impression.
07:30What was that?
07:30Nothing, Captain, nothing.
07:33No, thank you for doing your impressions while the storm is...
07:35Look at that wave.
07:36Look at how dark it's getting.
07:37It has a mouth.
07:39Kung fu.
07:39Someone must come back the wave.
07:46Quick.
07:47We better use our drunken anti-style.
07:49Oh, no, you didn't.
07:51No, you better get back.
07:52Thank you very much.
08:05Thousand points to Wayne for his great Woody Allen.
08:08The impressions ability on this cast is...
08:11It's great.
08:14I think Craig T. Nelson and Woody Allen ought to do a movie together.
08:16It's going to run into a game called Irish Drinking Song.
08:22This is for all four of you.
08:24And, uh...
08:25They're going to sing for you an Irish Drinking Song, one line at a time.
08:32With the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
08:33Laura Hall.
08:36What I mean for the audience is I need to suggest that there's something that would happen to you
08:39that you would want to keep secret.
08:41Lobotomy.
08:44Lobotomy.
08:44Let's hear the lobotomy.
08:47This ought to be good.
08:48The lobotomy Irish Drinking Song.
08:51Take it away.
08:54Oh...
08:54I-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
08:58I had a lobotomy.
09:00And now I'm not so nuts.
09:02They took away half my brain.
09:04Now I eat cigarette butts.
09:06I am not too bright.
09:08Now I'm kind of sane.
09:10I am really stupid.
09:11Hey, is that the rain?
09:13I used to go down on the street.
09:19I used to have a scarf.
09:21Now I ask for money.
09:23And I chase cars.
09:24But when I come into your town.
09:27I like to shout a lot.
09:29I run around and scream a lot.
09:31Wow, this is hot.
09:36Oh, I feel much better.
09:38I think I'll go back home.
09:39And then after I'm finished.
09:41I'll marry a lawn gnome.
09:43Boy, that'd be so beautiful.
09:45As happy as can be.
09:47Because I don't care too much, you see.
09:49From my lobotomy.
09:50Oh, I really need a job now.
09:56I look in the paper.
09:58But I can't never find nothing.
10:00I have a scraper.
10:02But I'll keep on looking.
10:04I look until I can't see.
10:06If you want someone who's nuts.
10:08Be a host on TV.
10:09Oh, I-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di.
10:13Oh, I-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di.
10:17Di-di-di-di.
10:20Oh, great.
10:26Welcome back to Hoot Lines and Anyway.
10:27Welcome back to Hoot Lines and Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points
10:38don't matter.
10:39By the way, I just want to give a plug, if I can, if you don't mind, to Colin's new show.
10:43It's a combination of Sex and the City, Caroline and the City, and The Price is Right.
10:47It's called, I'll Have Sex with Caroline and The City If The Price is Right.
10:58We're going to move on with a game called Duet.
11:00This is for Jeff and Wayne with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on piano and guitar.
11:05Come on up here.
11:08And what is your name?
11:09Jill.
11:10Jill, what do you do for a living?
11:11I sell tickets at Dodger Stadium.
11:13Okay, she's unemployed.
11:13Come on down here, Jill.
11:14Say hi to Stephen Wayne.
11:18This is Jill.
11:24That's Jill.
11:25Claims she sells tickets at Dodger Stadium.
11:28You guys are going to sing a song to her, but I want you to sing it like the Rat Pack.
11:32So whenever you're ready, take it away with a Rat Pack number to Jill, the ticket seller.
11:44She's the kind of chick that I know so well.
12:01At Dodger Stadium, I bet there's been a dry spell.
12:04Oh, baby, where do I begin?
12:09I'd love to see you, but the Dodgers don't ever win.
12:14Oh, I'd love to sit next to you at a game someday, have a Dodger dog.
12:19And then I'd say, oh, it's a shame when you're selling tickets, and no one will come.
12:28I'd buy a ticket, and that's what I would do, because I've never seen a ticket seller look like you.
12:35I'd rather look at you than look at that bag and the Dodger games, they're all the same.
12:42I'd rather sit and buy tickets from you.
12:45I'd rather sit and buy tickets from you.
12:47I'd put mustard on my hot dog and buy a beer.
12:54Thank you!
12:55Thank you!
12:58Thank you, Jill.
12:59Thank you, Jill.
13:04Thank you, Jill, everybody.
13:06Thank you, Jill.
13:15That was one of the outtakes.
13:20Yeah.
13:22Suddenly, the song's over.
13:23Hey, that's okay.
13:241,000 points each year.
13:25That was great.
13:26And thank you, Jill.
13:27Let's go on to a game called Newsflash.
13:29Jeff, Ryan, and Colin.
13:30Newsflash.
13:30Jeff, Ryan, and Colin.
13:31Jeff and Ryan are going to be news anchors in the studio.
13:33Colin!
13:34Colin's going to be in the field as a reporter covering a breaking news story.
13:37The thing is, he doesn't know what the story is or what's behind him,
13:40because he's standing in front of what we call a green screen.
13:42And what we do is magically make an image come on there that Colin can't see.
13:45He can only see it on TV.
13:47And Jeff and Ryan are going to give them little hints as the people in the studio.
13:50So whenever you're ready, Ryan and Jeff, off to you in the studio.
13:53Why do they call it a phone?
13:54I don't know.
13:56Oh, we interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.
13:59Right now, we have a man, Colin Mochrie, standing out in the field with some late breaking news.
14:02Colin, can you give us any preliminary reports as to what's going on exactly?
14:07I'm sorry, Jeff.
14:08It is a madhouse here.
14:12I'm barely hanging on.
14:13I have never felt this much in danger.
14:19Look.
14:21Now, Colin, Colin, can you give us any idea as to how the thing started happening?
14:29This all apparently started when there was a rumor that Kathie Lee was coming back.
14:42Colin, it looks kind of...
14:43What have you done to protect yourself in there?
14:46Saran wrap.
14:47Now, Colin, Colin, Colin, I'm beginning to worry about your...
14:56I'm beginning to worry about your safety in there, Colin.
15:00I'm a little worried myself, but I'm holding it together because this is a story that must be told.
15:06Look at this.
15:07Try to keep your eyes on it.
15:09It may repulse you, but keep staring.
15:11Now, Colin, Colin, we're kind of losing you, Colin, because the antennas on our van are kind of failing.
15:20We can't quite catch you right now.
15:21The antennas aren't working.
15:23Well, that's too bad.
15:29Colin, they seem pretty well organized.
15:33Well, yes, they have a very good union.
15:36Colin, Colin, I don't see any end of this in sight.
15:39It seems like this might go on even after a nuclear holocaust.
15:43Oh, I'm telling you, this sort of thing just would make you sick.
15:47I, my son...
15:48He seems to be handling it.
16:00I'm behind you.
16:03Oh, Colin, I think you got it.
16:04What is it?
16:05A lot of cockroaches.
16:07Yes.
16:09Lots of cockroaches.
16:20Yeah.
16:21A thousand points to the roaches.
16:24Trying to make friends with them now for the nuclear bomb hits.
16:28Let's go on to a game called Hoedown.
16:30Hoedown with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
16:35Woo!
16:38What I need for the audience is a suggestion of a glamorous profession.
16:42Cowboy.
16:43T.T.
16:43Hold on, gentlemen.
16:45Raise off.
16:46Raise off.
16:46Astronaut.
16:48So let's hear the astronaut Hoedown.
16:50Hoedown.
16:51Let me tell you something, my girlfriend, I was a slob.
17:03But now look who's laughing.
17:05Astronaut, it is my job.
17:07Flying around the universe, that is my duty.
17:10I even made a pit stop on Mars and got some Martian booty.
17:17Well, I work for NASA, and it is a great place.
17:21They let me take my girlfriend up into outer space.
17:25And now we're all alone up there, and she sure knows how to please.
17:28And her boobs really look nice in zero G's.
17:32I am an astronaut, but I'd rather be fishing.
17:39Because I've been up in space on a ten-year mission.
17:43It really is so horrible, I'm really annoyed.
17:47I've been sitting down so long, I've got asteroids.
17:54I think you will find my best astronaut that will be found.
17:58I can't wait to blast off and leave this ground.
18:01Soon as I get up there, oh boy, I yell, shoot.
18:05I forgot about my training, and I tinkled in my suit.
18:09I tinkled in my suit.
18:13We'll get back to the Hoobody's Anyway, right here it is.
18:15Don't go away.
18:22Welcome back to Hoobody's Anyway.
18:24Tonight, winner is Wayne Brady.
18:26Wayne Brady's the winner tonight.
18:27We'll get to a scene for you called Foreign Film Dub.
18:32And what's going to happen is Jeff and I are going to pretend to speak in a foreign language.
18:35What foreign language would you like us to speak?
18:36Spanish.
18:38Spanish.
18:39That was the first screened-up thing I heard.
18:41Spanish.
18:42And if you were a Spanish film director making action films, what would the name of your Spanish
18:45action film be?
18:46El Donkey.
18:48El Donkey.
18:49El Donkey.
18:51El Donkey.
18:52And Ryan, you're going to translate for me.
18:54Colin, you're going to translate for Jeff.
18:55El Donkey in Spanish.
18:59Huh?
19:00Señor, necesito un burro.
19:03Hey, nice suit.
19:07Ha, ha, ha.
19:08El conchito potito morito morito morito morito morito morito.
19:11Thank you very much.
19:12Have you seen my ass?
19:15Que bueno.
19:16También no tengo bandalones.
19:20I have seen the donkey you talk off.
19:23It wears funny pants.
19:26Oh, el burro.
19:28This burro is my only friend.
19:32Him and I watch Baywatch together.
19:36Ay, ay, ay.
19:37Dios.
19:38Tú y el burro, no.
19:40You mean when they walk in slow motion?
19:43I love that.
19:46Excuse me.
19:49Ah, el burro es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que...
19:53Ah, ha, ha.
19:54I can't be true.
19:56Otra vez.
19:58El burro...
19:59El burro se te morits y me ta mañana.
20:02Excuse me, I will sell you my... I will sell you my...
20:07Excuse me?
20:08I will sell you... Oh, I'm not Spanish at all.
20:27My God, a Peruvian mime!
20:32I have an ouchy belly button and I live in a small house.
20:48Welcome back to Who's Orange and Anyway Tonight.
20:50We're going to have Wayne Brady read the credits for you.
20:52Wayne, you're an army parachute instructor
20:54and you're calling out the names of those next to jump
20:56and everybody else is the jumpers.
20:58Okay? Thanks a lot for watching, everybody. Have a good night.
21:00All right, boys, let's settle up here.
21:02We got Dan Leverson, we got Mark Leverson, we got Dan Patterson.
21:04Are you ready, Ron Stiles? Are you ready?
21:06We're going to drop you right over there in Jimmy Mulvihill.
21:08It's right next to Da Nang. Are you ready?
21:10Go, go, go, go!
21:11All right, Tom Park, Tom Park. Who's next?
21:13Are you ready? Ron Stiles, you're going to jump.
21:15Jump, that's it, boys. Good job.
21:17All right. Now, are you ready? Are you ready?
21:19I don't want you to land on your own way.
21:20Can you hear me, boy?
21:21Do you hear me? Do you understand me?
21:22Can you read these words?
21:23Look at me. Don't look at me.
21:24Look at me. Don't look at me.
21:25Ready, ready, ready, go!
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