- 4/24/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Lie and Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, Saturday Night Fever, Wayne Brady,
00:08our people's your love, Kathy Greenwood, Stayin' Alive,
00:12Colin Mochrie, and more than a woman, Ryan Stiles.
00:17And everyone, I'm Shaqiri. Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:19Welcome to Who's Lie and Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:34That's right, the points are just like the future of UPN.
00:39Who cares?
00:42If you never saw the show before, what happens is these guys are going to make up everything you see,
00:45right off the top of their heads, and then we give them these fakey points.
00:48At the end of the show, we pick a winner.
00:49The winner gets to do a little something special with me and the losers.
00:52Well, the losers just better be limber, that's all I got to say.
00:59Let's get started with a game called Weird Newscasters.
01:01This is for all four of you.
01:04Yep, Colin, you're the anchor of a local news show.
01:07Kathy is his co-anchor.
01:09Kathy, you've had one drink too many at lunch, and you've lost all your inhibitions.
01:13Okay.
01:14Ryan, you're doing the sports.
01:18You're an ugly hillbilly.
01:23And you are going to be playing an ugly hillbilly, desperate to get someone to accept his marriage proposal.
01:31Oh, there's more?
01:32Yeah.
01:33Okay.
01:34No, you're not just an ugly hillbilly.
01:35No.
01:36Brian, you're doing the weather.
01:38You're Indiana Jones in the middle of a hair-raising quest.
01:43Whenever you hear the music, take it away, Colin.
01:45Welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
01:51I'm your anchor, Lars of the Mohicans.
01:55Our top story.
02:00According to a statement today released by the National Viagra Association,
02:05Contrary to popular belief, the points do matter.
02:14And now, why don't we turn it over to our beautiful co-anchor, Faye Kitnightly.
02:20Faye.
02:22You called me beautiful.
02:24Well, it was on the card.
02:25You're pretty cute yourself.
02:28You really are.
02:29I've always thought so.
02:30Would you like to do something with me?
02:33Well, there's some news.
02:34We could dance together.
02:35We could...
02:36I am a great dancer.
02:38I dance so...
02:40Like, I used to take ballet when I was a kid.
02:42But hold on.
02:44Ready?
02:45And...
02:55More on that coming up later.
03:07And why don't we head over to sports right now with our sports announcer, Bucky Ozark.
03:11Bucky.
03:13Hi.
03:19How you folks doing?
03:22You know something?
03:23I'm just a poor simple man living out here in the woods relying on God's own promise to feed me and my own.
03:30But it's kind of lonely.
03:33Because all I can do is look at them out there playing them sports.
03:36But sometimes I get awful sad and I look up at the heavens and I say,
03:42Lord!
03:46Why can't I have me a woman to call my own?
03:48And then I realize that tonight, in front of this here audience and my compatriot over in the news section, I'm gonna ask the prettiest woman in Nick Hump and Holler to marry me.
04:00I hope y'all would oblige me for a second.
04:01Come here for a second.
04:02Come here for a second.
04:03You got the party.
04:04Stay so shy.
04:05I'd like to ask you to marry me.
04:06Hold on a second.
04:07Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
04:08You got the party.
04:09Stay so shy.
04:10I'd like to ask you to marry me.
04:19Hold on a second.
04:20Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
04:35Because I would love to love you, I'd give you a dog.
04:43On we get thwarted, I'd ride you like a hawk.
04:46That is the reason you can be my wife.
04:50I would love you to rest your life.
04:52Oh, I'd share things, even baby Ruth.
04:56And we can even share my tooth.
04:59I would love you, don't you understand?
05:04I want you to be my hillbilly woman.
05:08This just in, hillbilly viewership down.
05:12This just in, hillbilly viewership down.
05:19Now, why don't we go over to the weather with our weatherman, Bud Ugly.
05:26Bud.
05:28This just in, hillbilly viewership down.
05:34This just in, hillbilly viewership down.
05:37Now, why don't we go over to the weather with our weatherman, Bud Ugly.
05:43Bud.
05:44Well, we've got some rain moving in over the weekend.
05:56As you know, this morning we had a major earthquake, 8.1 shakes.
06:03Why did it have to be shakes?
06:06설 quindi üING anderen Iniesta!
06:07I don't love it!
06:09Psyhhhh.
06:10Psyhhhh.
06:11Psyhhh.
06:12Psyhhhh!
06:13Psyhhh.
06:14Psyhhhh.
06:15Psyhhh.
06:22Psy.
06:24Psy.
06:25Psy.
06:55Back to you.
07:13That's the news.
07:14Join us tomorrow for more Cisna Lock News.
07:16See you then.
07:25Can I have another soda, please?
07:37I'll get you one, honey.
07:38Thanks.
07:39So, uh, this next game is for Wayne with Laura Hart.
07:48We're going to Taylor.
07:53Come on, Gary.
07:54What do you do?
07:55What's your name?
07:57Chris, what do you do for living?
07:57Chris?
07:58I'm good to be with him for living.
07:59Yeah, me too, dude.
08:00All right.
08:01You work for, like, a company that makes them or what?
08:04Website.
08:04We review them.
08:05Oh, yeah.
08:05I'll click him on down.
08:06Come on out of here, Chris.
08:10How are you doing?
08:10Nice to see you.
08:11You want to know how to say how to win?
08:16What's up, Wayne?
08:19Say the name of your website for a lot to say.
08:20We'll let it go.
08:21If not, they'll cut it out.
08:22It's called Daily Radar.
08:23Daily Radar.
08:24Okay.
08:25Wayne, you're going to sing a song to Chris here, who plays video games for a living.
08:30He reviews video games for a living.
08:31And you're going to sing to him in the style of Britney Spears.
08:37Well, good luck.
08:38So, let's do this, Chris.
08:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby.
08:54Wow.
08:55Yeah.
08:55You, your name is Chris.
09:00I sing my song.
09:02Oh, baby, baby.
09:03Do you want to play a game of punk?
09:06Understand this.
09:07I would never break it.
09:09But I would give you a hug if you give me a gift from Sega.
09:12Understand, baby.
09:14No matter what it takes.
09:16Britney love you.
09:17You make her quake.
09:19After that is finished.
09:21It won't be long.
09:22Booga, booga, booga, booga, booga.
09:24Donkey Kong.
09:26Chris.
09:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:29He's Chris.
09:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:32He's Chris.
09:34Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:36He's Chris.
09:37Why don't you review this?
09:39Booga, booga, booga, booga.
09:40Understand.
09:42Understand.
09:43I want to talk to you.
09:45I could be a Pac-Man.
09:46Let me tell you, baby.
09:48I can't have fun.
09:50Do you want to come on a jungle hunt?
09:53And after that was finished.
09:55Oh, oh, oh.
09:57I could hold you and call you my Mario.
10:00And that is funny.
10:02Britney's got the trick.
10:04Look at me.
10:05Work my joystick.
10:07Chris.
10:10Yeah.
10:10I can't want to talk with.
10:14I can't.
10:21I can't.
10:23I can't.
10:24I can't.
10:25I can't.
10:26I can't.
10:27I can't.
10:27I can't.
10:28I can't.
10:29I can't.
10:29I can't.
10:30Thank you Chris.
10:31Thank you very much.
10:36All right.
10:37We'll know who's lying.
10:37Whatever this.
10:38Don't go away.
10:39welcome back thanks for watching and trust me kids your homework can wait
10:49you don't need to be doing homework when whose line's on skip it
10:54let's play a game called action replay this is a game for wayne and kathy you're going to act
11:00out a scene in the meantime ryan and colin are going to come over here and put on these headsets
11:04it's going to block all the sound for them and they're going to watch wayne and kathy
11:08and then wayne and kathy are done acting their scene out
11:10ow that's loud they can still hear it all when the thing's over now they're going to watch them
11:18and when they're these guys are doing what they're seeing uh ryan and colin are going to act out the
11:22same scene using the same body movements and everything that these guys use except of course
11:26they have to make up different dialogues they don't know what they're saying whenever you guys are
11:29ready your scene is newlyweds fight and make up while doing the laundry
11:32you know five years of marriage to you it's too much
11:41hey get out of here
11:43hey it's my house you can't kick me out of my look i walk out the door i walk in slam hey it's mine
11:52it's fine i don't need this if you don't like me that's fine come here you are not you are not
11:58running away from me you are not running away from me you are never you are not running away from me
12:03no no no no no no you're staying right
12:05no i didn't
12:07oh i made you cry again
12:09i suck as a husband
12:12oh honey
12:15no i don't
12:17no i don't deserve someone like you i should just
12:19crawl on my belly like a snake
12:21i don't deserve i don't deserve
12:23i don't deserve
12:25someone like you
12:26oh please let's never fight again i can't even remember what the fight was about
12:33i think you wanted to segregate the whites and the colors
12:36we switched before we started
12:44oh
12:45go ahead and reenact the scene and the action replay of the scene we just heard
12:51take it away
12:52come on dear we're going to get all the animals on the ark
12:55i don't care about the animals i don't care about the animals
12:58what are you talking about come on look
12:59it's raining
13:00i don't care i'm leaving the animals here
13:03you can't leave the animals here we have to put them in the ark
13:05don't you understand
13:07it's raining
13:08well i think we're all full up top lift me up so i can see from the hole
13:12yeah we're all full up there
13:14yeah we're all full
13:16yeah we're all full
13:17wait
13:18not all the animals are here we still have no snakes
13:22oh all right i'll do the impression
13:23still have no snakes
13:25come on snakes
13:26they're coming
13:27they're coming
13:28come on
13:29keep going
13:29come on
13:31keep going
13:32i shouldn't really be going myself
13:37oh wait i got calluses on my testicles
13:39and we only brought two of those
13:5710 000 points to our censor
14:12a hell of a guy
14:13probably the nicest guy in the whole wide world our censor
14:17let's go on to a game called party quirks
14:20this is for uh everybody kathy you're going to host a party
14:22thank you for inviting me over you know you look absolutely jeez you look really good man i can't even say it
14:38wow you are so you look so good
14:40wow you are so you look so good
14:42thank you for inviting me over you know you look absolutely jeez you look really good
14:45man i can't even say it
14:46wow you are so you look so good
14:48thank you for inviting me over you know you get back
14:55talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
14:58yeah
15:01oh
15:07thank you
15:08Hi, come on in. I'm sorry.
15:12Bonjour.
15:16Hi.
15:20Who is? Who is?
15:24Oh my gosh. Well, uh... Hey, how are you?
15:32Excuse me for a minute. Hi, come on in.
15:36Oh my gosh.
15:40Hi, come on in.
15:44We have to thank you for inviting me.
15:46It's a pleasure.
15:48I seem to be stuck here.
15:52Oh wow, look at those guys.
15:56Look at those guys.
15:58Listen, listen, Mr. Fast Motion, Slow Motion Flirt. Get out of my house.
16:08That's close enough.
16:14Look at...
16:16Just sweep the end of your day.
16:18Right. Stop being so angry. The truffles are over there.
16:26Can I help you at all?
16:28It's just gorgeous.
16:30Listen, I...
16:32Hey, there's nothing worth it having a depressed Carol Channing at your party.
16:36What? What?
16:38Oh my lord.
16:40Wait, wait, are you okay?
16:42I'm fine.
16:44Are you okay?
16:45Yes.
16:50Oh, do a good job. Yeah, there you go.
16:52Oh my god.
16:56I'm fine. It's okay.
17:01Good.
17:02Carol.
17:03What?
17:04Carol.
17:05Are you afraid?
17:08You wouldn't have a suture around the house, would you?
17:12Yes, I...
17:13I actually do right here.
17:14Stop picking the glass from my hair.
17:16Carol, it is Carol.
17:18I used to be. I can't remember anymore.
17:25Tell me, am I bleeding?
17:26No.
17:27No, you're okay.
17:28You're not bleeding.
17:29I can't get off this because my...
17:31Because this one keeps sticking to things.
17:33Don't make me run into anything else.
17:34No, I won't.
17:37It's Carol Channing, who's what?
17:38Who's drunk as a skunk?
17:40No.
17:41His blank keeps sticking to blank.
17:43Your, uh, your head is Velcro.
17:45You're all right.
17:46Close it up.
17:47Close it up.
17:48Close it up.
17:50Is it bleeding?
17:51No.
17:52No, no, no.
17:57Oh, no.
17:58Oh, no.
17:59Oh, no.
18:00Oh, no.
18:01Oh, no.
18:02Oh, no.
18:03Hey, it's always funny when it happens to somebody else.
18:07Wow, man.
18:08You went all out on that one.
18:09There better be some extra points in this.
18:11I'm sorry.
18:12We spent all the points for placing the glass.
18:15Is that lit?
18:16No, it was.
18:17Nails.
18:18It would be better if your head bursts into flames.
18:20That would be neat.
18:22How many fingers am I holding up?
18:27Four?
18:28Close enough.
18:29How about me?
18:30All right.
18:31All right, hey, hey, stay down and out.
18:32You come back.
18:33We're going to find out who the winner is.
18:37All right, hey, it's good, all right, all right.
18:40We'll be back when we find out who the winner is.
18:49Welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway.
18:51Tonight's winner, Kathy Greenwood.
18:52Kathy Greenwood is going to be the winner of the title.
18:54Ho, which means the rest of us get to do our favorite game,
18:58Ho-Round!
19:00With the help of Laura Hall on piano.
19:02Laura Hall, what I need for you guys to get us started
19:05is a suggestion of a glamorous profession.
19:09Wrestler? Okay.
19:11Wrestler Hoedown.
19:12Everybody ready, Laura Hall, take it away.
19:21Every Saturday I'm at home doing my thing
19:24Watching great big fellas run around in the ring
19:27I sit there, me and Drew turn off the sound
19:31And then we get freaky and do our own version of SmackDown
19:35Well, I'm a wrestler, I love it, don't you see
19:42It's really healthy and I make lots of money
19:45The only thing I don't like that gives me such a fright
19:49Is when I see Ryan in his little tags
19:53I am a wrestler, let me on the loose
20:00Over the years I've taken lots of abuse
20:04My head has been smacked, I've been hitting the turnbuckle
20:07Because of all my injuries I've lost the ability to rhyme
20:11I hate wrestling, I think they're all on the take
20:22The way they throw themselves around
20:24I'm sure that it is fake
20:26The way they act, you think that they're really dead
20:29But can they break a neon light by slamming it with their head
20:33And we're back for Who's Line after this
20:40Yeah
20:42Hey, welcome back to Who's Line is an Indoor Day
20:46Tonight, we're going to have our man Ryan Stiles read the credits for us
20:49I want you to read the credits as Carol Channing
20:52While everybody else pulls a glass out of your head
20:54Thanks for watching, everybody
20:56We'll see you next time
20:57Bye
20:57Oh, I got to show you what I did
21:01Oh, I got to show you what I did
21:02Oh, I got to show you what I did
21:03Oh, right guys, oh, Dan Patterson
21:04Yeah, that Mark Levinson
21:05Bruce Cowell is such an attractive man
21:08Oh, you're very lucky
21:10If I cut two shows every day
21:12Oh, you're really doing well
21:14Stephen Blum is a dear
21:16Oh, Ron West is a wonderful writer
21:19And John Deese's film associate is marvelous
21:22Oh, the gaffer is Chris Gale
21:24And you're so good
21:26Oh, there's a goose there come out of my mouth.
21:30Oh, it's gone through my skull into my marionette.
Recommended
21:33
|
Up next
21:33
21:35
21:39
21:35
21:36
21:41
21:40
21:39
21:41
21:35
21:33
21:37
21:37
21:35
21:34
21:35
21:36
21:35
21:37
21:36
21:36
21:37
21:35
21:33