- 5/7/2025
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05At tonight's show, sending the Marines, Wayne Brady, sending the Cavalry,
00:10Denny Siegel, sending for a pizza, Colin Mochrie, and sending the clowns,
00:15Ryan Stile!
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Carey.
00:19Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:25Oh.
00:27Oh.
00:28Hey.
00:28Welcome.
00:30Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:32The show where everything's made up, but the points don't matter.
00:34Yep, the points can never be used, or will never be used, just like my exercise bike.
00:40And if you've never seen the show, what happens is all these guys are going to come up,
00:47they're going to make up everything you see right in front of you, and then I give them
00:49points.
00:50Just a gag to hold the show together, doesn't mean anything.
00:52And at the end of the show, we pick a winner.
00:55And the winner gets to do a little something special with me, and that's how it goes.
01:02Yeah.
01:03Whoever wins, I recommend.
01:05That's right.
01:07Start looking for something you can bite down on.
01:08Let's start it off with a game called Let's Make a Date.
01:16This is for all four of you.
01:17Denny, you're going to be appearing on a dating-type show.
01:19Fortunately, the people you're going to try to pick from are Wayne, Colin, and Ryan.
01:25And what we did was on these cards here, which they've never seen before, we've given them
01:28each a strange characteristic or identity.
01:30They have to act out for you, and you have to try to guess who they are.
01:32So, whenever you're ready, off you go.
01:34Factor number one, some men promise women the moon, and some promise them the stars.
01:40What would you give me?
01:42Mm-hmm.
01:48I'd have to give you a good butt whipping.
01:51Because you don't listen.
01:56Now, back in 1924, all the kids listened.
02:02Because they had two ears, and they all listened.
02:04I'll beat your ass.
02:08Wow.
02:09If I get my bottom beaten by you for not listening, I hope I go deaf early.
02:16Bachelor.
02:16What?
02:16What?
02:17What?
02:18What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:19What?
02:20What?
02:20What?
02:20What?
02:20What?
02:21What?
02:21What?
02:22Bachelor number two, hello.
02:24Howdy.
02:26Bachelor number two?
02:27Yeah.
02:27If I were going to bake...
02:29Come on, baby.
02:35Have a good old day.
02:36If I were going to bake a cookie for you on Valentine's Day, I would bake it in the shape
02:40of a big pink heart.
02:42What would your cookie look like, bachelor number two?
02:45What would it look like?
02:46It wouldn't look like my mother.
02:51Where would I go toA?
02:52I don't know.
02:52I was going to bake a cookie for you on Valentine's Day?
02:54What?
02:54You don't know.
02:56Oh, I'm not going to bake a cookie for me.
02:56You don't know.
02:57I was going to bake a cookie for me on Valentine's Day.
02:57Hey, come on.
02:58What is this?
02:59An audience or an oil painting?
03:00You better watch it.
03:01Oh, give it a VIT?
03:02Oh, give it a VIT?
03:03Oh, give it a VIT?
03:05Yes.
03:05Oh, give it a VIT?
03:06Yes!
03:07Oh, give it a VIT?
03:08Hey, come on.
03:09Money
03:12Faces on money
03:14You sound creepy bachelor number three
03:18Yes bachelor number three hello when I want to please a man or a woman animal anything I
03:25Like to put on something soft
03:29What would you put on to impress me?
03:33Can you say soft and silky one more time?
03:35Sure soft and silky bachelor number three soft and silky bachelor number three
03:55All right bachelor number one
03:57I've never been to paris or rome where would you take me?
04:05Oh
04:08If you could take me somewhere and teach me something what would it be? I'd take you somewhere and teach you how to dress proper
04:15Look at you when they think would have stood up the middle. You know that boys always gasping and gaping at your legs
04:35That's the number two hey, it's a tea stale go with bachelor number one
04:45Bachelor number two if you
04:48If you were to start your own cable channel, what would it be about?
04:51I just
04:53Oh, you think this is easy you think it's
04:55You think it's easy you think this is easy?
05:05Come on you think funny go on yeah, I don't care
05:07Yeah, you go ahead
05:09Oh
05:11Oh
05:13Oh
05:15Oh
05:17Oh
05:19Oh
05:21Oh
05:23Oh
05:25Oh
05:27Oh
05:29Oh, you know
05:31He's not that funny
05:33Oh
05:35Bachelor number two you seem to actually be two men in one I can handle that
05:41Bachelor number three yes yes
05:43Yes
05:45Yes
05:49That's massive
05:51That's massive
05:53All right
05:55All right
06:05Thank you sir what's your name
06:07Okay
06:13Oh your friends are gonna see you that's great
06:15Uh
06:17Okay Denny time to guess who they are
06:19I do not want to go out with bachelor number one because as a
06:23Grandfather from Louisiana he's way too old for me
06:25He's an outraged grandmother
06:27He was close though
06:29Grandmother
06:31Everybody makes that mistake
06:33And uh go ahead
06:35And bachelor number two
06:37I'm thinking there's some universe where Whistler didn't paint his mother but became a disgruntled comic
06:41That's right he's mean
06:43He's mean
06:45He's a bad fan of comics that's right
06:49As for bachelor number three
06:51I would accept a date with him but I think it might be a little premature
06:55No
06:57No
06:59But what kind of pill
07:01What kind of thing would you take to get you
07:03That makes you feel like loving everybody
07:05Could he Viagra? I don't know
07:07Aphrodisiac
07:09An aphrodisiac
07:11An aphrodisiac
07:13An aphrodisiac
07:15That's right
07:17Well if a picture's worth a thousand words that was worth fifty points
07:23Let's go on to a game called song styles
07:25Let's go on to a game called song styles
07:27This is for Wayne Brady with Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on guitar
07:29We're gonna do a little twist this time
07:31What we need from the audience is a suggestion of a household object
07:35Blender
07:37Okay so it's gonna be blender
07:39And the twist to this is
07:41We're gonna need Ryan, Colin and Denny
07:43To come out here and back him up
07:45Because
07:47We're gonna be singing in the style of the temptations
07:49Oh
07:51And you're gonna be singing about a blender
07:53And as temptations
07:55And with all those guys backing up
07:57And whenever you're ready go ahead and get started
07:59Oh baby
08:01Oh baby
08:03Oh baby
08:05Oh baby
08:07Oh baby
08:09Oh baby
08:13Oh baby
08:17Why don't you listen to me
08:21Hey
08:23Oh
08:25I'm getting kinda big
08:27I need something to fix my booty
08:29Woo
08:31So I grab myself a blender
08:33And I make a nice fruit smoothie
08:37Fruit smoothie
08:39Oh let's blend, blend
08:41Blend, blend
08:43Blend!
08:45Now sometimes I get tight
08:47Wanna be a nice reducer
08:49I had myself an oven
08:51And I had myself a juicer
08:53But nothing in this world
08:55Is as good as my blender
09:00I'm so happy
09:02For the rest of my life I want the splendor
09:05Hey
09:06I love my blender
09:09Oh, oh
09:10I love my blender
09:11Come on Temptations, let's dance!
09:13I love my blender
09:15Woo
09:17I love my blender
09:19Hey
09:21Hey
09:23Blender
09:25Oh Lord knows that
09:29I won't contradict
09:31I love my blender
09:32Cause it's rap, haze, it can't even mix
09:34I love my blender
09:36You know what I'm saying?
09:38Blender
09:40Yeah, blender
09:42I love my blender
09:44Hey
09:46There's a little dance tip for you, white people
10:02Next time you're out dancing, find the black guy, just try to copy what he's doing
10:08We're going to the club later on, right Ryan?
10:10Yeah, of course
10:12A little tip for you
10:14Let's go on to a game called Narrate
10:16This is Colin and Ryan
10:18They're gonna act out a film noir scene
10:20And they're gonna narrate to each other
10:22For each other with the style of some music we picked out
10:24What I need from the audience is an unlikely place for a film noir scene
10:28Airport terminal
10:30Airport terminal is the first thing I heard
10:32Air, airport terminal
10:34Airport terminal
10:36Airport terminal
10:38So you're acting out a film noir scene set at an airport terminal
10:40Go ahead
10:42I had to leave the country, leave the country fast
10:48I'd been involved with that poultry scam that went bad
10:52There was only one chance
10:54Big Wing Boy
10:56Excuse me, I need a flight out of here really fast
11:00Oh really? I'll see what I can do
11:04I knew what he wanted
11:06He wanted Big Wing Boy
11:08But I hadn't done that for years
11:12Seems we have a flight going out at 7.30
11:20It's only going to Pomona
11:22Pomona
11:26How ironic
11:28That's where I was running from
11:30No matter how hard I tried to get away
11:34It would always pull me back
11:36I wanna go to Fresno
11:38Fresno, huh?
11:40Fresno
11:42That's a lovely town
11:48It wasn't
11:50Why don't you see if the carry-on fits through the hole there?
11:54Why don't you see if the carry-on fits through the hole there?
12:04Make up your own joke here
12:08Alright, if you just step through the metal detector
12:14Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
12:18I knew he was gonna set it off
12:20I knew he'd had that metal plate installed in his head three years ago
12:24That's where all the hair had gone
12:26Take it from me
12:34Big Wing Boy
12:36I realized when I set off the metal detector
12:40It was just big Wind Boy going
12:44Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do…
12:48But I thought I would Humor him
12:50After all, he came out today
12:52He looked like someone who'd never had any humor in his life
12:55life
13:00maybe this is what set off the alarm give me a ticket get it now
13:19welcome back to whose line is it anyway the show everything's made up but the points don't matter
13:23and you know during the break i know you couldn't see us but we could see you so uh let's go on to
13:30a game called weird newscasters this is for all four of you weird newscasters uh denny you're
13:34going to be anchor of a news program and everybody else is going to help out colin you're the co-anchor
13:38colin has been injected with dinosaur dna
13:44uh wayne you're doing the sports and you're going to be jerry lewis
13:47and weather is ryan ready to do the weather you're a cornered criminal looking to take a hostage so
13:57whenever you hear the music danny go ahead and start the news
14:03good evening our top story tonight interestingly is not about a top
14:07but a dreidel and now moving on to my co-anchor for more stories in the news colin mockrey colin
14:14thank you sorry i was at the dinosaur institute today and uh
14:19uh
14:33Woooo!
14:43Woooo!
14:55Colin, Colin, I have a carrot. Carrot.
14:58Alrighty. That's all for now from Colin.
15:00We are going to move on to our sports desk
15:02desk and here with the sports it's Wayne Brady Wayne hi lady
15:08she's the sports in the the guys that throw the ball and he catches the ball
15:15the lady said that I could catch the ball
15:22whoa the Raiders the red hole
15:32on behalf of the network I would like to apologize to everyone except the French
15:37moving on now it's time to hear from our man on the weather Ryan Styles Ryan yeah
15:46thanks very much as you can see we got sunny days ahead and time to go out this
15:51weekend but I'm not coming out I'm not coming out why don't you come in and get
15:58me covers back off when the lizard gets
16:03that's it
16:08that's just about all the time we have thank you
16:25be sure to join us at 8 9 10 and 11 for more news thank you and good night
16:36that was really great and Jerry Lewis if you're home watching the show points are
16:41in the mail
16:43let's go on to a game called scene to wrap scene to wrap this is for Wayne and Denny
16:47and they're gonna be joined later by Ryan and Colin what I need from the audience is a
16:52suggestion of a major event in life that fills you with fear brain surgery brain
16:59surgery it is because I could use some brain surgery so you're gonna be rapping
17:05about brain surgery and then Ryan and Colin go join later go ahead
17:09you wouldn't grant me a divorce so I had to take a different course I went behind your back you see
17:16and I gave you a lobotomy when you were younger you used to be hotter so they went and took out
17:21your medulla obligata no you are insane baby you ain't got no brain
17:28I like birds
17:38yeah now I know you can't think to make romance but one thing sure you still can dance
17:46yeah yeah yeah baby now I know this may sound very insane but I'm the doctor took out your brain
17:57I guess that's bad it's your kind of luck I'll sell it back to you for 50 bucks
18:02that's a hundred oops never mind
18:07now wait a second now let me start brother gave me back the brain so I'm too damn smart
18:15you trying to get to me or what's my course I'm gonna kick you out and I'm gonna get that
18:19divorce that's right that's right trying to take all my money ding-dong the bell in the
18:23door comes my honey that is right I got you with the money here is my girl my brand new wife
18:28yeah that's right we'll be seeing a commercial we'll be right back with more who's lying over there
18:41hey welcome back to who's lying is it anyway
18:48the loser's are us and we have to do a hoedown for you with up a lower hall how about we're gonna do a
18:58what we need for the audience is a suggestion of a group or type of people you hate
19:04movie ushers movie usher hoedown
19:09now here's a little something that I have to say there's one person who ruins a matinee
19:23always trying to stop me yes I bet that movie usher wants to touch my razor nets
19:31the other day to the movies man I had a go the music wasn't much and the plot it was so so
19:42don't you think that one day I'd be learning never go to the movies and do an impression of Pee-wee Herman
19:49I went to a movie the other day I put down all my money I got in a fight with the usher it wasn't
20:03funny I hit him really hard he wished he never wasn't born and to get his revenge he peed in my popcorn
20:11I'm at the movie theater every Tuesday without fail this time I'm going to see a swashbuckling tale
20:26I am gonna sit in the back row watch it from afar and this pirate movie it is rated R
20:34welcome back to whose line is it anyway we're gonna end the show tonight with Wayne Brady reading
20:49the credits Wayne I want you to read the credits for us as an excited host of a Spanish variety show
20:53so thanks everybody thanks for watch we'll see you next time good night
20:56Welcome to telemundo
20:58Thanks, thanks! Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles is very gigantic
21:02Mark Levison, on Saturdays and Sunday morning
21:09And Drew Carey is a dance singer
21:09Dennis Singer is a good job
21:11That is correct
21:12Only one day only
21:13Eric Walker and Melinda Cote
21:15Muah! YouTube, Pully Ride
21:18Only costumes
21:19And Kiduini Club
21:21Oh yes, but complete bus
21:23Everything's home
21:24Thanks, thanks
21:26Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
21:29Goal!
21:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
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