- 5/7/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Good evening, everybody,
00:03and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, to start me up,
00:07Wade Brady,
00:09Ponty Tonk Woman, Kathy Greenwood,
00:11Jimmy Shelter, Colin Moffrey,
00:13and here comes your 19th Service Breakdown,
00:16Ryan Stile!
00:18I'm your host, Sue Cary.
00:19Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:24Oh, man. Whoa!
00:28Good evening, welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:29The show where everything's made up,
00:31and the points don't matter.
00:32That's right, the points are stupid.
00:34Points don't matter, the points don't mean a thing.
00:35It's like the censor on the Donnie and Marie show.
00:38You know, you don't really need it,
00:40but, you know, we got it.
00:41If you never saw the show before,
00:43what happens is these guys are gonna come up,
00:45they're gonna make everything up for you,
00:46right off the top of their heads,
00:47and then I give them points after each game.
00:49I don't know why,
00:50just a little thing to tie the show together, who knows.
00:52And then bringing a new meaning to the word winner,
00:56at the end of the show,
00:58so the winner gets to do something special with me.
01:01That's right.
01:03Please don't let me be the winner.
01:05Please don't let me be the winner.
01:06And the loser has to drive the goat back to the farm.
01:09So, if you're ready, let's get the show started.
01:13We're gonna start with a game called Questions Only.
01:15This is for all four of you.
01:16Kathy and Wayne, you're gonna start out.
01:18They're gonna start a scene,
01:19they can only have their conversations speaking in questions.
01:21This makes a great party game.
01:22If you're at a party with no chicks or booze,
01:24you can do this game.
01:26And they can only ask questions,
01:27and if one of them goes wrong,
01:28I'll buzz them out,
01:29and the other one takes their place.
01:30They're kind of a little contest we have,
01:31so you can sit here the longest.
01:32They can only speak in questions.
01:33The scene is,
01:34it's a wedding at a nudist colony.
01:36A wedding at a nudist colony.
01:38So, questions only, go ahead.
01:41Are you a friend of the bride or the groom?
01:43Does this look good?
01:46My goodness, you have to ask?
01:50Hey, uh, after they get married,
01:52you wanna get married?
01:53You're asking me to marry you.
01:54Hey, stand back, please.
01:56Would you?
02:02Can you help me with my tie?
02:08Well, if this is where you wanna put it.
02:10Oh!
02:15Guess who's the best man?
02:17Can I have three guesses?
02:20Why don't you tell me you love me?
02:24What the hell was that?
02:28Any idea how you can keep these pigeons off here?
02:37Can you look less like a worm?
02:40What's that supposed to mean?
02:41What do you think it means?
02:43Were you invited here?
02:44Who can say?
02:53Have you seen the bride?
02:54What does she look like?
02:55She looks like she's run away.
02:59Questions only, we're playing.
03:00Questions only.
03:01Does she look like she's run away?
03:02Who?
03:04Is it obvious I'm talking about the bride?
03:06How can you tell her apart from all the other women?
03:09Aren't you the minister?
03:11Isn't the collar a dead giveaway?
03:13Why just a collar?
03:20Have you seen my pigeon?
03:22Okay, that's it.
03:23Thank you very much.
03:25That was wonderful.
03:26A thousand points apiece for whatever you just did right there.
03:41Woo!
03:42Now let's go on to a game called Sound Effects for Colin and Ryan.
03:47Colin's going to improvise the scene.
03:48He has to respond to sound effects made by Ryan.
03:50We got him his own microphone because he spits so much.
03:52Uh, the scene is, uh, in the Wild West, though new Sheriff Colin, I like how the...
03:59Another sheriff?
04:00Yeah, I like how they give you the titles like, I am Sheriff Colin.
04:03Tough new Sheriff Colin, uh, on an urgent mission to clean up the town, arise at the saloon.
04:09So you're a sheriff, and you're coming to clean up the town, and you're in a saloon.
04:12And that's your scene, and you're going to do the sound effects.
04:14All your photos, ha ha ha!
04:40Ha ha ha!
04:42It's squeaky.
05:12Okay.
05:15Okay, okay.
05:17Do you want me to do it?
05:21Okay.
05:22Okay.
05:24No, there is no.
05:28No, there is no.
05:30No.
05:32No.
05:34Okay.
05:36Okay.
05:38Okay.
05:40Okay.
05:41Hey, what's the big idea?
06:11Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
06:41you know uh i've seen less germs on the pole at the strip club that's why i use protection on the
06:48mic man this thing is soaked i've had a nickel for every time i said that huh let's move on
06:55you have a dime let's move on to a game called props uh it's for ryan and kathy and colin wayne
07:01why don't you go to your respective places ryan and kathy come get your prop
07:06and oh keep laughing here's your prop
07:11and what they have to do is they have to go back and forth as quickly as they can and make up
07:17funny things to do with their props and i'll buzz them between ryan and kathy why don't you start
07:20we're number four we're number four got a kleenex
07:27kathy you're getting carried away with this implant thing
07:32mr scrunch
07:35what do you mean punk's dead
07:44you order some green tea
07:48no more war no more war
08:06and it looks like the hollyweed free ray is all uh jammed up hollywood hollywood yeah yeah whatever
08:26hey oh sorry i'm all hands
08:29next time get a smaller bottle of wine
08:34i don't know why two of us have to begin the paper route
08:43hurry up
08:45i dropped
08:46hey brie lc commercial we'll be right back with more who's line is it anyway don't go anywhere
08:51hey welcome back to who's line is it anyway the point the show where everything is made up and
09:00the points don't matter that's right the points just don't matter like pickup lines to brad pitt
09:04i mean maybe you could use them but you don't really need to
09:08okay moving on we're going to be called uh news flash this is for uh kathy ryan and colin
09:15kathy and ryan are going to be two news anchors in the studio
09:18colin you're going to be the roving field reporter
09:20cover the breaking news story now if you see uh colin is in front of a thing we call a green screen
09:25and what happens on the green screen effect is just like they do with your television weather and your
09:28local news is uh we project thing on the green screen on the tv but all colin sees is this big
09:33thing of green no matter what he does even if he turns around and looks at it all he's ever going
09:36to see is green but we see what uh he's looking at here on tv and on the monitors in the studio and
09:41he has to try to guess what's behind him he can't see any of the monitors and uh kathy and ryan are
09:46gonna give hints to him and see if he can guess now colin uh kathy ryan whenever you guys are ready
09:51go ahead and start was it another girl and a man or two men no it was another girl we interrupt this program
09:57for a special news bulletin we now take you out and in the field who's our reporter out there today
10:02kathy uh today it's uh award-winning war correspondent colin mochrie colin how how did you find yourself
10:09in this situation my bus took a wrong turn somewhere it's very hard for me to keep my professionalism
10:17i'm very very frightened i don't as you can hear there's lots of stuff going on that's not meeting with
10:23popular demand colin it does colin it does not look good how did this whole thing start well it all
10:35started with a bad concert review and it just degenerated into this i am shocked i am almost
10:44disgusted by what i am looking at i think we can all say the same thing
10:48i can barely even talk to you i mean it's a rotten situation oh it certainly is i am
11:00well look i mean i'm so disgusted i feel like just walking away from this entire thing
11:05uh colin uh oh let me say first that we're all disgusted here in the studio by what we're seeing
11:12oh my gosh well look at the festive colors
11:26oh it is pretty exciting i hear there's going to be drinks later uh it's season oh are you indeed
11:32i yes i'd like to ask you another question but i'm afraid if i open my mouth i might vomit
11:37do you mind if i eat
11:48i didn't have time to get that i have to tell you have you take a guess of where you're standing
11:54in a big group of maggots and you can't show people smoking on tv because you show that oh lord
12:13oh yeah so uh one trillion points one trillion points eat my dust regis
12:21eat my dust
12:26now we're going to play a great game called greatest hits this is for ryan colin and wayne
12:30a couple laura linda and cc laura linda and cc
12:36colin and ryan are going to be uh two tv commercial guys and they're going to be talking about the latest
12:40compilation album they're trying to sell and they're going to make up names of the songs
12:43and the style of the music and tell wayne to sing it and wayne's going to try to sing whatever they
12:47say uh what we need from the audience is uh something that you'd look to find in the yellow pages
12:55dog groomer attorney songs of the attorney let's hear the new uh let's hear about the new big uh
13:01hit album songs of the attorney good luck hi we'll soon return you to the dyslexic theater
13:07production of bitty bitty chang chang in just a second but first we have a special offer for you
13:17my attorney got me a million dollars no he didn't but you'll feel like a million dollars
13:24when you buy our new three cd set all about the attorney 52 songs on three cds huh why that divides
13:32evenly doesn't it it sure does when i was a young boy growing up in a kibbutz my grandmother used to
13:41sing me yiddish folk songs about attorneys yes and the the words still ring in my head as though it were
13:4920 years ago and one of my favorites of all time was sue him sue him big
13:58listen to me darling and listen to this song if somebody hurts you or they might do you wrong
14:15there's only one thing that you can do you got to sue and sue him big hey let me tell you something
14:24listen to mom because if they hurt you listen to this song if they hurt you you know yeah yeah you've got
14:32to sue i've been with you from the cradle oh my goodness dreidel dreidel dreidel just
14:50soon soon suddenly i feel like having a matzah oh i miss my boobie
15:05you know this cd set is selling so good in the west and up north but we're trying to get our southern
15:11friends to buy this is too so we're going to talk slower and we've got a song on this cd set for you
15:21that great jug band hit sequester this
15:33well you know in school sometimes there's a semester when you're in a case you got to sequester
15:39that's when you move from state state and you know you're in denial because you've done some
15:43wrong can't get a fair trial you've got the sequester over there or sequester over there
15:48you've got a sequester in some place else and i know that it's quite clear because if you can do it
15:53you'll never get your case hurt and now i'm gonna do this
16:01my jug broke
16:02just flip this one over you get the other half of that song that's right
16:13it also comes with dick clark's practical jokes and jug band bloopers you know
16:21would you pay over 200 bucks for this collection well i wouldn't
16:24do you pay over 200 bucks for this one and what about us to only have one network show you know
16:35when i was a young boy i had a dog named joe oh and whenever he'd get too far away i put on
16:41the yoko ono record and he would come running back really quickly
16:44and luckily that song is on this album
16:53the great yoko ono attorney hit attorney
16:57when i met john what could i do
17:14i broke up the beatles they wanted to sue
17:17so i got myself a lawyer and they did too
17:26i believe this is what the lawyers call i tell you
17:31i'll be right back
17:55we'll be right back
18:01hey welcome back to who's buying is in anyway
18:06try twitter uh everybody but wayne everybody but wayne is the winner right
18:13and uh so we're going to do a game for you called foreign film dub and kathy and i are going
18:17to do it and uh these guys are going to translate we're going to pretend to speak in a foreign
18:19language of course we don't know any and um while ryan's going to translate for me
18:23colin's going to translate for kathy what foreign language you like to see us
18:26swedish swedish swedish is good uh we'll do swedish and uh if you were a swedish action film
18:34director what would the name of your movie be look out what was that one bikini jones i like that one
18:42oh look out snow a bikini jones movie
18:44in swedish in swedish a quinn martin production okay ready here we go
18:51you're into her never born the jones
18:55you look hot very hot the darkest being you know it baby
19:00i bet you can't wait to see my phone
19:13you're so wrong
19:14i love you so very much but i've had too many meatballs
19:23oh you're not too bad
19:35ikeia
19:46unbelievable prices
19:50thank you
19:58look at the snow we must run out there and melt it
20:00i feel like i'm on bay watch
20:15take off your clothes wear the bikini it feels so good
20:22sadly i have but one nipple to give
20:25oh
20:47welcome back to who's line is anyway uh we're going to end the show tonight with wayne and
20:51kathy reading credits for you and i want you to read the credits as two cheerleaders at a national
20:54competition good night everybody thanks for watching see you later
20:58are you ready for dent patterson give me a d i'm ready ready go denise o donoghue
21:04everson and arthur forrest tom park tom park and maricotta lee
21:09everybody
21:11everybody's in the table
21:13and
21:15gimme keith richmond
21:17and ellen rick or else and
21:19allison cedar
21:21allison
21:23allison
21:25allison
21:27allison
21:29allison
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