- 5/9/2025
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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:04On tonight's show, lean and tender Brad Sherwood,
00:08nicely trimmed Wayne Brady,
00:11well-marbled Colin Mochrie,
00:14and the bits that go to make a hot dog, Ryan Stiles.
00:18And I'm your host, Drew Garry. Come on down with special fun.
00:25Oh.
00:25Thanks, everybody. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:31The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33That's right, they don't matter at all.
00:35Points here are like pants to you, Hefner.
00:39What happens if you never saw the show before is these four performers,
00:42they're going to improvise everything you see tonight right off the top of their heads.
00:44They're going to make it all up, so it's really exciting.
00:46And then I give them points, which, of course, don't matter.
00:49It's just a gag, really, to tie the show together.
00:53Then we pick a winner at the end of the show.
00:54And then the winner gets to do a little something special with me.
00:58And then the losers are going to be Wayne and Brad.
01:09I can tell you right now.
01:11That's who the losers are going to be.
01:13Let's start out with the first game.
01:14It's called Let's Make a Date.
01:15This is for all four of you.
01:16Wayne's going to be appearing on a dating-type show.
01:18And your only choices are Ryan, Colin, and Brad.
01:21And he's going to talk to them and try to figure out who they are,
01:24because we're each going to give them a unique characteristic or identity.
01:28And then Wayne's going to question them and find out who they are.
01:30So, Verity Wayne, on your dating show, or Waynet, off you go.
01:36Bachelor number one.
01:37I enjoy a man who has a special love for the outdoors.
01:42So, what would you do with me if we were outdoors?
01:45Let me just say, if we were outdoors, we'd spend it on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
01:49where ladies get in for a long time.
01:51I'm going to take you to a beautiful swamp
01:54and show you the death-defying Terminator versus Barefoot
01:57in an all-out grudge match.
01:59Going head-to-head fuel-burning steel and dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt.
02:06Bachelor number one.
02:07You make me want to run to a trailer park right now.
02:12Bachelor number two.
02:13What is the uno primero one thing that you think
02:18that is the best thing that you can find
02:20about the woman that you call your love?
02:23I just believe all of the children in the world should be fed.
02:29Sparkle, sparkle.
02:34Very nice.
02:36Bachelor number three.
02:38Yes, it's a pleasure to be here.
02:39I like to watch Saturday morning cartoons.
02:42And Wednesday evening dramas.
02:44What would you like to do on Friday?
02:47Well, I like all those things.
02:48I think if you're looking for a guy to experience that with you,
02:51it's probably me.
03:10Bachelor number three.
03:11Tell me your banana.
03:16Bachelor uno.
03:18What is your favorite dish to dine on?
03:20My favorite dish is six feet of deep mud
03:23and burning fuel diesel.
03:25Being pulled across the track at 165 miles an hour.
03:28I'd like to wallow around in a mud slop with you, baby,
03:31on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
03:36Come on.
03:37Bachelor number two.
03:39Tell me something.
03:41All right.
03:42A disposition and personality is very importante to me.
03:46Do you consider yourself congenial?
03:48No.
03:49No, that's the mark of death.
03:50You scared me, bachelor number two.
04:09Bachelor number three.
04:12What type of luggage do you prefer?
04:15What type of luggage do you prefer?
04:15juice?
04:15Oh, yeah.
04:16Well, she is gua for it.
04:16Oh, yeah.
04:24No, yes.
04:26Oh, yeah.
04:31Oh, yeah.
04:32I don't know how, but you have to guess who they are.
04:58Okay, bachelor number one, he was an announcer at a big truck contest.
05:05Bachelor number two, he was a beauty pageant contestant.
05:11And bachelor number three was slowly turning into King Kong.
05:17In that round, I'm going to give all the points, I'm going to take all the points I was going
05:30to give you, I'm going to give them to every great TV critic in the country.
05:35So I think television critics are the greatest people in the world, that's right.
05:40The next game is called Superheroes, this is for all four of you, it's called Superheroes.
05:44You're going to act out a scene as unlikely superheroes.
05:46Brad, you're going to start, and then Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to come in,
05:50and they're each going to name each other, different superhero names as they come in.
05:53And what I need from the audience is a suggestion for Brad's superhero name.
05:57What?
05:59Prissy Boy.
06:00Prissy Boy.
06:01Hey, he knows your screen name.
06:06Prissy Boy at AOL.com.
06:12We also need a crisis.
06:14Prissy Boy is...
06:15Bad hair day.
06:16Bad hair day.
06:17Bad hair day.
06:18Prissy Boy is having a bad hair day.
06:20So Prissy Boy, it's a bad hair day all over the world.
06:23What are you going to do?
06:25Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
06:27Ah!
06:28Ah!
06:29Ah!
06:30Ah!
06:31Ah!
06:32Ah!
06:33Ah!
06:34Ah!
06:35Look at my two!
06:36Sorry I'm late.
06:37Oh, nice thong.
06:39Excuse me, I didn't expect you so early.
06:42Thank God you're here, Captain Frisks-a-lot.
06:46No problem, I was just...
06:52It's all right.
06:53Sorry I'm late.
06:54It took me a little while to get here.
06:58Take your time.
06:59I ran over as quickly as I could.
07:00Oh, thank God, the bitter divorced kid.
07:05I would have been here sooner, but I lost the car to the beep.
07:11Your cologne is a little bit strong for me.
07:14That's all I left.
07:15At least you got to keep your hair.
07:17I lost it in the settlement.
07:19Sorry I'm late, I came as soon as I could.
07:26Oh, who cares?
07:28You dirty dancing kid.
07:31Is there anything I can do to help you?
07:33Just don't scuff the floors.
07:44I had them waxed earlier, so please...
07:48I know what you can do.
07:54Here, use this.
07:56It's my rhinestone g-string.
07:59There.
08:00See you later.
08:06If my wife moved like that, we'd still be together.
08:08Oh.
08:09Gotta go.
08:10Oh.
08:11Thank you very much.
08:13Hey, you know what?
08:14I just figured, I just realized some guy named Prissy Boy at America Online is going to get about a hundred emails tonight.
08:29So, hey, a thousand points to you, buddy, and our apologies.
08:37Now, let's go on to a game called The Ballad Of.
08:39This is a good game.
08:40It's for Wayne and Brad, with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
08:44Thank you for coming here.
08:47Sir, what's your name?
08:50Leonard.
08:51Leonard.
08:52And Leonard, what do you do for a living?
08:53I'm a lawyer.
08:54Sure you are.
08:55Okay, come on down here.
08:57Come on down here, Leonard.
09:06Okay, Brad Wayne, you're going to sing a country song, a country song called The Ballad Of Leonard The Lawyer.
09:15Yeehaw.
09:19He's the meanest lawyer that you ever did see.
09:22He would sue you.
09:23He's an attorney.
09:24He'd take your docket with a cigar in his pocket and sue your nasty little pants.
09:29And if you did wrong, he would furnish your song, and he'd take you down to jail for too long, and then he'd make you do the prison dance.
09:38He's Leonard The Lawyer, and he'll lock you up faster than pshh.
09:48Oh, he's Leonard The Lawyer, and he'll lock you up faster than pshh.
10:02Now, dealing with Leonard, it makes my heart race.
10:04I had to go before him when I had to try a case, and I didn't know that he would be such a real good guy.
10:11Cause the lawyer that I hired, it was him.
10:14He obviously didn't work out in the gym, and that, it made his wife cry.
10:21He's Leonard The Lawyer, he'll lock you up faster than pshh.
10:31Oh, Leonard The Lawyer, he'll lock you up faster than pshh.
10:43Yee-hoo!
10:46Thank you, Leonard.
10:47Thank you very much.
10:48Let's go right.
10:50We'll know Who's Line Is It Anyway?
10:51Right after this.
10:52Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
11:01The show where everything is made up, and the points don't matter.
11:04The home viewer our panelists are playing for today is Lynn Baum from Thousand Oaks, California.
11:09For every point the winner gets, we'll send the exact same number of points to you.
11:12Congratulations, Lynn Baum.
11:13Now, our next game is one you don't see very often.
11:18It's called If You Know What I Mean.
11:20That's the name of the game.
11:21It's called If You Know What I Mean.
11:22This is for Brad, Ryan, and Colin.
11:24What I need from the audience is a type of event you might go to an event.
11:28Auto race.
11:29An auto race.
11:30That's the first one I heard.
11:31I'm going to use auto race.
11:32That's a pretty good one.
11:33So, you guys have organized an auto race, and you're cleaning up after it.
11:36And their conversation is going to be full of their own euphemisms.
11:41And you'll see what I mean while you watch if you know what I mean.
11:45Well, that was quite a race, huh?
11:47Oh.
11:50There were a lot of beautiful girls.
11:52I saw that one talking to you.
11:53Oh.
11:54She was really trying to paint the Eiffel Tower, if you know what I mean.
11:56That's right.
11:57I was almost buffing the boulder.
12:00I know what you mean.
12:02She had quite a set of produce shelves, if you know what I mean.
12:06Hold the bananas.
12:08I think you see where I'm going.
12:10I got you.
12:12Sorry I'm late.
12:13I was choking the nun, if you know what I mean.
12:16I know what you mean.
12:18Speaking of which, you were quite a hit with the ladies at the race today.
12:21Well, I buttered some lobster, if you know what I mean.
12:25You were the veritable kingpin of the monkey farm.
12:29Well, I don't want to brag, but I know how to pass a stone, if you know what I mean.
12:35Yes, I do.
12:37Knit one, pearl two.
12:39Touché.
12:42Say, I don't want to brag, but while you guys were out flirting, I managed to scrape up some paint chips of my own with the dust buster.
12:49Somebody had a layover in Winnipeg, if you know what I mean.
12:56Gilligan making a coconut house.
12:59You can say that again, Mr. Howell.
13:01I'm tired of sweepin'.
13:02That was great, and I'd give you points for that, but the points don't matter.
13:19Points don't matter.
13:21The points here are a lot like the new shows on UPN.
13:23Nobody seems to care.
13:27Our next game is called Greatest Hits.
13:31This is for everybody, with Laura Hall on piano and Linda Taylor on guitar.
13:39Colin and Ryan, our TV voiceover guys, are going to be talking about the latest compilation album for sale.
13:44And Wayne and Brad are going to try to sing snippets of the songs they're given.
13:48And what we need from the audience is a suggestion of a sport.
13:50Golf.
13:54Golf, golf, golf, golf.
13:56Golf, golf!
14:00Golf!
14:02Okay, the name of your album is Songs of Golf.
14:06Hi.
14:07We'll return you to your regular scheduled program, but first, have we got a deal for you!
14:12Okay.
14:15Golf.
14:16Just the sound of it makes you want to sing about it, doesn't it?
14:19That's why we've compiled over three songs, all to do with golf!
14:24Oh!
14:25We've got another song!
14:27Four!
14:31You know why golf has been around for years and years.
14:34Oh, twenty, twenty-four.
14:35In fact, the first song that was ever recorded about golf was done by the old vaudeville team, Niblick and Driver.
14:41And that great hit, Grab My Putter!
14:47Hey, Niblick!
14:48Hey, Driver!
14:49You know how to take a few strokes off your game?
14:51Yes!
14:52Now let's go golfing!
14:54Oh!
14:55I was wearing my favorite fancy jeans, and I was out there on the putting greens, and then all of a sudden someone grabbed my putter!
15:04And then I was so shocked and amazed, and it left me in the days that all I could do was swing and stutter!
15:14Grab hold of my putter, baby!
15:15Grab hold of my putter, baby!
15:16Grab hold of my putter, baby!
15:17Only grab hold!
15:18Grab hold of my putter, baby!
15:19Grab hold of my baby!
15:20And watch me have a cowboy!
15:22Hey, Mr. Driver!
15:25Yes, Mr. Niblick!
15:26What would you call an actress if she weren't a big driver?
15:30I don't know.
15:31What would you call her?
15:32Mini Driver!
15:33Whoa!
15:38That's my putter!
15:40Ta-da!
15:41Ta-da!
15:47All I can say is thank God for technology.
15:50You know, Colin, growing up as a young boy in the wheat fields of Saskatchewan,
15:54I know I listened to a lot of the old beach hits, as you did.
15:58Oh, nothing better than that surfing in wheat fields.
16:01And I think one of my favorites is that big number one hit, Thor!
16:13Well, I'm driving along, and I'm driving along in my golf cart.
16:17In his golf cart!
16:18In his golf cart!
16:19In his golf cart!
16:20And I'm wearing my Clues golf clothes that I got from Kmart!
16:23From Kmart!
16:24From Kmart!
16:25From Faye Faye Kmart!
16:26And I got my stick!
16:28And I'm gonna swing!
16:30Gonna, gonna swing!
16:31Yeah!
16:32And I'm gonna try and get the ball right in the thing!
16:36So, so, so, so!
16:38So, one, two, three, four!
16:41Four!
16:42One, two, three, four!
16:44Four!
16:45One, two, three, four!
16:47Four!
16:48I guess golfers can't count anymore!
16:50They say, one, two, three, of three and four!
16:53I'm gonna run up!
16:55Do no more!
16:56Because the golfers!
16:57They only can count to four!
17:01I'm gonna run up!
17:02Goal and I travel a lot selling this CD pack.
17:03And a lot of times we stay in hotels.
17:04And we hear some of the best music in small lounges and little far away hotels.
17:19And I think one of our favorite old lounge hits is, hey, a squirrel chewed my bag.
17:25There's nothing cool, man
17:41There's nothing cool, man
17:46When you take your back out on the green
17:51And a squirrel chews a hole in it
17:55I've seen
17:57Well a sneaky little squirrel came up
17:59And he did not make a sound
18:02He chewed my bag and my tees
18:04And my balls fell on the ground
18:06Drop, drop, oh
18:08A squirrel, he chewed my bag and my balls fell out
18:11A squirrel, he chewed my bag and my balls fell out
18:16My balls fell out
18:20It makes me wanna shout
18:25Don't go anywhere, we're gonna see a commercial
18:32We've been back, the winner gets to do a little trouble with me
18:34You don't wanna miss it, bye
18:35We'll be right back
18:37Hey, welcome back to Who Find Is It Anyway?
18:44Tonight's winner, Colin and Ryan
18:46Colin and Ryan are the winners
18:47Oh, because they're the winners, we're gonna do a little game together called 90 Second Alphabet
18:52And what happens is in 90 seconds we have to do a scene for you
18:55And every sentence that we use has to begin with the very next letter of the alphabet
18:58We have to use the whole alphabet in order
19:00And starting with what letter?
19:02J!
19:03I heard J really quick, so we'll start with the letter J
19:05When we get back to the letter J, that'll end the scene in 90 seconds
19:08And Wayne, what's the scene about?
19:09Ryan is excited about the blind date that you've set him up with
19:12Until she arrives
19:17Ding dong
19:18Just you wait until you meet my friend, Kalina
19:21Kevin, who's this?
19:25Lola, you can call me Lola
19:27Though I'm known by many names
19:29Man, you are one fine looking woman
19:31No doubt about it, what'd I tell ya?
19:33Oh, she's a hottie
19:34Please, have a seat
19:36Quiet
19:39Right, well I should offer you a drink, I guess
19:41Scotch for me
19:44Two for me, please
19:47Usually I don't drink, but I think I'll have a little something right now
19:50Wow, is this strong?
19:53You, uh, uh, what, uh
19:56V
19:57V?
19:58Oh
19:59Vodka is great
20:02Wow, is this strong
20:04X-Files, we're missing X-Files
20:08You like X-Files too?
20:11Zoe, I didn't know you were an X-Files fan
20:14Alabama, where I'm from
20:1530 seconds
20:16It's the largest population of X-Files lovers
20:18But somebody said once, three's a crowd
20:21Cow, cow, cow, I hear a cow
20:23I gotta get going, I hear a cow
20:25Dumbass, isn't he?
20:27Every time he brings a girl over, it's the same thing
20:30Fine, let's get the business
20:32Good
20:33Hi
20:34I'm, I can't remember my name, I'm so nervous
20:37Jump on me!
20:38That's it!
20:42Thanks a lot, we'll be right back with more of Who's Line Is It Anyway?
20:45We'll be right after you
20:50Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
20:52We're gonna end the show tonight with Wayne and Ryan reading the credits as two switchboard operators
20:58So whenever you're ready, go ahead and goodnight everybody
21:00Mark Levinson on the line
21:02Hello, Dan Patterson and Mark Levinson
21:04Please hold, Dan Patterson, please hold
21:06Denise O'Donnell for Mark Levinson
21:07Bruce Gower is calling
21:08Tom Park on hold, please
21:09Thank you very much
21:10Thank you very much
21:11Drew Carey
21:12Oh, right away!
21:13Oh, yes, right away!
21:14I'm sorry
21:15Keith, Keith Richmond?
21:16Geppetto 2
21:17You're doing Geppetto 2
21:18Oh my god, okay
21:19Facey Gale calling for Alton Sideris
21:21Delia Franklin
21:22Danny
21:23Hello, I'm sorry
21:24Hello, Easter
21:25Tom, Cannon
21:26I'm sorry
21:27X-U-A
21:28What kind of last name is that?
21:29I'll connect you anyway
21:30Look it like a Pisa
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