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One of the siblings is diagnosed with ADHD, and the others pick up his behavior by fighting and climbing dangerous places!
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00:00Hi, we're the Park family from West Hills, California.
00:03I'm Michael.
00:04And I'm Heather.
00:05And we have three kids.
00:06Kyle, who's six, Farley, who's four, and Pierce, who is two.
00:12Michael and I work full-time, so we have our nanny, Alejandra.
00:16Full-time parents, we have a nanny.
00:18I know that one.
00:20All three of our kids hit.
00:22Farley, stop hitting.
00:23Kyle, this is not easy.
00:26I wish that we could somehow get our children
00:29to calm down, stop yelling, stop fighting.
00:32They don't listen.
00:33Pierce, stop it.
00:36I guess I don't know what to do with them.
00:39Farley.
00:40I kind of have a discipline method, yet it's inconsistent.
00:44You need to sit and think about things
00:46while you're acting like this.
00:48We think it would be great if Alejandra
00:51would be able to have a sense of control over the kids.
00:55Kyle, what are you doing?
00:57I think she lets them kind of do what they want to do.
00:59She tells me that she doesn't feel comfortable
01:01doing the discipline.
01:02Come on.
01:02Don't push me.
01:03I like video games.
01:04I know you do, but stop it.
01:06Stop.
01:07Stop.
01:08So if the nanny's not disciplining
01:10and the parents are not disciplining, who's disciplining?
01:14Kyle has ADHD.
01:16We tried medication for about a month,
01:19and we just didn't find that he was any easier
01:23to work with on medication.
01:26Stop it.
01:27Kyle's in kindergarten, and he has been in trouble at school.
01:30I had to pick him up a number of times
01:32for bothering other kids and not keeping his hands to himself.
01:35Homework time, usually with Kyle, is a nightmare.
01:37Yeah.
01:38Back to the table to do your homework.
01:40It turns into just a full meltdown,
01:45and then we force him to sit at the table
01:47and do his homework.
01:48It might be anywhere from one to two hours
01:50before we can get a couple pages done.
01:53Hand me the paper.
01:55So this little boy has ADHD, and he's not on medication.
01:59Oh, I wonder what they do do then to help him.
02:02Our kids have problems, and we're
02:03having problems handling them.
02:05And I feel like I'm getting angrier as we get on,
02:09rather than happier.
02:11We need Super Nanny to help us make our family happy.
02:16Super Nanny, please come help.
02:18You guys desperately need some help.
02:21I'll see you soon.
02:32Hi.
02:33Hi.
02:34How are you?
02:35Hi.
02:36How are you?
02:37Nice to meet you.
02:38Pleased to meet you.
02:39Jo.
02:40What's your name?
02:41Alejandra.
02:42Alejandra, pleased to meet you.
02:43Yeah.
02:44Wow.
02:45So nice to have you.
02:46Mom and Dad are at work, is that right?
02:48Yes.
02:49I'm Jo.
02:50And who's this little one here?
02:51Farley.
02:52Hi, Farley.
02:53Pleased to meet you.
02:54I'm Jo Jo.
02:55Hi, how are you?
02:56Good.
02:57Good.
02:58Pleased to meet you.
02:59And who else do we have?
03:00Pierce and Kyle.
03:01Alejandra took me upstairs to see Kyle.
03:02But before I could even say hello, he kicked off and he started to punch his sister.
03:06Stop.
03:07Stop.
03:08Kyle.
03:09Kyle.
03:10That is not nice.
03:12Kyle hit me and I don't like it.
03:15Stop.
03:16Ow.
03:17You're not listening.
03:18It's not funny.
03:19Stop.
03:20Stop.
03:21Go in your room.
03:22Before Alejandra could even get control of Kyle, he run down to the side of the house.
03:26Why are you running awake?
03:27I'm here.
03:28It's not okay what you did, okay?
03:31Go say sorry to your sister.
03:33Go over there.
03:34Hey, guys.
03:35I couldn't even say hello to him before Farley come along to get a few more licks in.
03:40Get Farley.
03:41Kyle.
03:42Stop.
03:43Stop.
03:44Stop hitting her.
03:45Oh.
03:46Stop.
03:47Don't hit me.
03:48Oh, no.
03:50Kyle.
03:51Kyle did settle long enough for me to say hello.
03:53Hi.
03:54Pleased to meet you.
03:55How are you?
03:56Good.
03:57Good.
03:58Kyle.
03:59How old are you?
04:00Six.
04:01But before I knew it, he was jumping into the pool and he didn't even ask permission.
04:05Kyle.
04:06Get an asphalt.
04:07He wants to go in the water.
04:09As a nanny, do you discipline the children when they misbehave?
04:12Because right now, that's a situation that's dangerous.
04:15Yeah, but he's not listening.
04:16Correct.
04:17So what are you going to do?
04:18Because right now, you're in charge.
04:19Yeah.
04:20How are you going to take care of this little one and that little one?
04:23Don't go in the water, please.
04:24If he's in the water.
04:25This is normal.
04:26It's really hard because if they don't listen, I can't force them.
04:30With the kids in the pool and a nanny not in control, I started to get worried about
04:35these kids' safety.
04:36I'm going to go.
04:44A few hours later, Mum came home and before she'd even parked up, Pierce and Kyle had run
04:49out of the house.
04:50No, no, no, no.
04:51Pierce.
04:52I don't want you to go in the street.
04:54Get inside.
04:55Your mum is going to go to home, OK?
04:57No, no.
04:58I'm not sleeping.
04:59Get off the car.
05:00And Alejandra couldn't wait to leave.
05:03Hi.
05:04Hi.
05:05How are you?
05:06Yeah, very well.
05:07Pleased to meet you.
05:08Nice to meet you.
05:09Hi.
05:10So where are you going now?
05:11You're finished now, are you?
05:13OK, OK.
05:15Take care.
05:16It's your duty as a nanny to let the parent know exactly what kind of day the children
05:21have had.
05:22Alejandra's like, I'm gone.
05:23So I arrived this morning and I've already started to observe and just kind of watch the
05:27kids.
05:28And so really what I'm going to do is just carry on and do the same really with yourself.
05:31OK.
05:32There was horror on her face before she even closed the front door of her house.
05:43And once we were inside the home, you know, I could see why.
05:47It was a disaster.
05:48Stop it.
05:49That's enough.
05:50I get home from work and they just go crazy.
05:55And I'm thinking, oh my God, why did I come home from work?
06:00You have about three seconds and you're absolutely not going to have any video games up there.
06:06One, two.
06:07So later on it was time for Carl to do his homework.
06:18I can't.
06:19Oh.
06:20You can't do what?
06:21I can't count the turtles.
06:22You can count the turtles.
06:23No, I can't count.
06:24No, I can't count.
06:25Count the turtles.
06:26You know how to count.
06:28You can count.
06:29Come on.
06:30Homework with him is horrible.
06:33And it's mostly because he just doesn't want to do anything.
06:36He sits there and doesn't finish the assignments.
06:39If Carl does sit down, it's not for long.
06:41He got up from his chair, out into the backyard and through an unlocked gate.
06:46All right, Carl, say goodbye to every single video game that you have.
06:50They're all gone.
06:51No.
06:52They're all gone.
06:53As soon as your dad gets home, I'm telling him, take every single one of them away.
06:56No.
06:57You're done.
06:58No.
06:59You're done.
07:00Mum's threats did work.
07:01Carl did come into the house.
07:02But I wanted to talk to her about Carl's medical diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
07:08So he's diagnosed with ADHD.
07:10We put him on medication and I did nothing.
07:12And that particular medication wasn't successful.
07:15Right.
07:16And then the medicine didn't work and they kept just saying, up the dose, up the dose, up the dose.
07:19So you're making a choice not to put him on medication.
07:21Right.
07:22But he's definitely getting better.
07:23I mean, he's learned to kind of calm down.
07:25Well, routine is definitely necessary for him.
07:28And I couldn't help but think, if Carl's behavior is calmer now and it's improved, then what was it like before?
07:35Uh, no.
07:36Later on in the day, the kids jumped back into the pool again, didn't ask permission again, and Mum couldn't do anything to stop it.
07:47Get out.
07:48Kyle!
07:49When Farley was running around the pool and hopping over the fence, I mean, it gets to the point where I just start laughing because I can't believe I'm really chasing a four-year-old around and she's actually beating me.
08:06Get out.
08:07Get out.
08:08I will by myself.
08:09Okay?
08:10Don't tell lies.
08:11Get out.
08:12It's freezing.
08:13It's freezing.
08:14I don't care!
08:15I don't care!
08:16They've got these young children at the age of four and six who are not prepared to listen to their own parents.
08:22And if they can't get a grip on this now, they're going to be in huge trouble.
08:26Huge trouble.
08:27Mom, let go!
08:28You're done.
08:29Let go!
08:30Kyle!
08:31Wait till your dad gets here.
08:34Kyle and Farley were either hitting their mum or ignoring their mum, and I knew that she couldn't wait for the reinforcement to get home.
08:41Michael, you can go handle.
08:42I can't deal anymore.
08:44Did Mommy tell you to get out of the phone?
08:46Hi, please meet you.
08:47Get out of the car?
08:48Hiya, Michael.
08:49Hi, Joe.
08:50Hi, Michael.
08:51Farley, come here.
08:52Dad did manage to get the kids out of the pool, but he did proceed to give him a timeout.
08:56And first it was Farley, and then Kyle.
08:59I'm right here, Kyle.
09:00No reason to open the door.
09:07So what's your take on his ADHD?
09:09Because I know he's not on medication at the moment.
09:12Um, no, he's not.
09:14He just chooses not to listen.
09:16Kyle!
09:17Stop it.
09:19Stop.
09:20Kyle wants to just push my buttons.
09:23Now I'm upset.
09:24I'm getting pretty mad right now.
09:26Dad got really frustrated, and he made the situation worse, because the more angrier he became, the more aggressive Kyle's behaviour was.
09:35So what measures have you taken to deal with his ADHD as you've decided, the pair of you, not to put him on medication?
09:43Just tried to get a little bit more structured with him, as much as we can.
09:48Yeah.
09:49Joe asked me about Kyle's ADHD, and I didn't know how to answer her question, because I guess I don't know how to deal with it myself.
09:56My fear is, you know, as he's already gotten kicked out of kindergarten, if they remove him from school to another type of program, that's just my worst nightmare.
10:03And I kind of see that it's going that direction.
10:06If these parents are going to make a choice to take Kyle off of his medication when he's been diagnosed with ADHD, then they've got to come up with some more positive methods to help him, because it's not going to go away on its own.
10:18You're sitting here. Look at my face. Do you understand? I'm getting upset, so look at me.
10:26Once Michael left, I went into Kyle's bedroom so that I could talk to him myself.
10:30When Mummy and Daddy shout at you and they get cross with you, does it make you feel sad or happy?
10:35Sad.
10:36You feel sad? Do you want to behave badly? If I stayed for a couple of days, would that be a good thing to help you?
10:45Because can I tell you something? I don't think you're a bad boy. I don't think you're a bad boy at all.
10:53I really had assessed the situation very, very quickly.
10:57So the quicker I left, the quicker I knew I could come back and really address the circumstances that needed to be discussed.
11:04Today has been interesting, to say the least, and we certainly do need to sit down and talk.
11:10Well, as Joe left tonight, I'm a little bit nervous about what she's going to talk about tomorrow.
11:15Let me start off by talking about the first issue that I saw, and that is you have a nanny, if that's what you would call her.
11:36In my eyes, she's a babysitter.
11:40Right.
11:41Alejandra is having to deal with circumstances that are beyond her control.
11:46She's having to deal with children who are unruly, who misbehave, who don't listen to her.
11:53I'm not sitting here to put down Alejandra. I'm really not, because I see the girl's trying to do the best that she can.
12:00But to give her your kids when you can't even control them yourself, it's not fair.
12:05It's not fair on your kids. It's not fair on your nanny. And I'm just blown away. I'm really blown away.
12:14I have no clue how to control them myself.
12:18Let's go on to the next issue, and that is behaviour.
12:21I don't even know where to begin.
12:23Spitting, punching, biting, slapping.
12:27What I saw was a lot of mixed messages, a lot of empty threats and no follow through.
12:32How are your kids going to take you seriously? You're a joke. You're a joke.
12:37As far as your kids are concerned, you hold no weight. You might as well be talking to a brick wall.
12:42There are no clear expectations that really teach your children,
12:47well, this is how I need to behave. This is what's expected from me.
12:53You know for a fact that the way you're choosing to deal with Carl right now
12:59is based upon his behaviour that is linked with his diagnosis.
13:05What do you do constructively with your son that helps him?
13:10Considering he's been diagnosed with ADHD.
13:12I guess I don't do anything. I mean...
13:14You both made conscious decisions as parents to not put your kid on medication.
13:19Let's just get real here, okay?
13:21So right now, I don't see you doing anything constructively
13:25that is nurturing the Carl that we all know.
13:29Everybody's choosing to react to Carl who becomes impulsive,
13:33who behaves destructively.
13:35That's absolutely right, and unfortunately for him,
13:38that's how the school reacts, that's how outside friends react,
13:41that's how outside family reacts.
13:42And his own parents, Heather!
13:44You're right, absolutely.
13:45His own parents! That's my point.
13:48Your kid don't stand a chance when his own mum and dad
13:52doesn't give him a chance.
13:54Your own son, Heather!
13:57I'm not here to pussyfoot around!
14:03Michael!
14:04I think we're trying, but it's not working.
14:09You're not bad parents.
14:11You're just a bit lost.
14:13There are things that you can put in place
14:16if you choose not to put him on medication that will help him.
14:21Do I have two parents in the driving seat?
14:24Because I cannot have two parents in the passenger seat.
14:27Yes.
14:29That's where we need to be.
14:31All right, so we'd better start working.
14:34OK, thanks.
14:40When I arrived to begin teaching,
14:42I had a little surprise in store for this family.
14:46Alejandra, what you are going to do, OK,
14:49is you're going to release yourself from service.
14:52The truth of the matter is, is that personally,
14:54from one nanny to another,
14:56I think there's a lot that you are taking on
14:58and having to deal with.
14:59The park family do have a nanny,
15:01but it doesn't mean that they shouldn't know
15:03how to control their own kids' behavior.
15:05So I'm going to let Alejandra go and take a break,
15:08and mum and dad can take some time off of work to learn.
15:11I need you guys to know that you can do it by yourselves.
15:14All right?
15:15And that having Alejandra here is an addition,
15:18is a bonus to your family.
15:20All right?
15:21When Jo sent Alejandra away, I was thinking,
15:23oh, my gosh, like, she's sending her nanny away.
15:25What is she doing?
15:26Enjoy, my love.
15:27OK, thank you.
15:28With Alejandra away, the next order of business
15:35was to establish the house rules.
15:37All right, so what I've got for the whole family
15:40are the park family rules.
15:42These kids get told a lot,
15:44not to do this, not to do that,
15:46but actually there is nothing visually
15:49that these kids can have as a reference to teach them.
15:52Hey, mum.
15:53Just place this up here
15:55and open the black iron gates of the park.
15:58Short and simple, number one, ask before swimming,
16:02so that the adults can look after you.
16:05The next rule here is keep off the staircase railing.
16:09Be kind to one another.
16:12And the next one here is be kind with your words.
16:15And number five is to listen and do.
16:18I think that they're actually really good,
16:20and I think that the kids understand them.
16:22The rules are up here, so if they break the rules,
16:24they realize that there will be a consequence for that.
16:26OK.
16:27Now that the house rules have been established,
16:32it is going to be important to teach Dad
16:34how to minimize Carl's behavior,
16:37as he does have ADHD,
16:39and Dad does overreact to this behavior.
16:41Michael, the reason why I brought these large dominoes in
16:45is because I just want to visually show you
16:48the chain reaction of what happens with you and Carl.
16:52Right.
16:53So I set up the dominoes and read them out to him
16:56as they were placed.
16:57Carl becomes obstinate.
16:59OK.
17:00All right, set them up.
17:01When Joe brought out the dominoes,
17:04she explained to me how an ADHD child
17:07will react to certain situations.
17:10And then Dad reacts.
17:12Yes, he does.
17:13And then Carl becomes very defiant.
17:16Yes, he does.
17:18And then you try to control the impulsive behavior.
17:22Hmm.
17:23OK.
17:24You want control.
17:25He's pushing your buttons.
17:26You don't want to work alongside it.
17:28He pushes your buttons and you take it personally.
17:31That feels like a failure and now Carl feels unloved.
17:34The dominoes exercise for Michael was to really show him
17:39that this chain reaction creates nothing but a feeling of failure
17:44and hostility between himself and his son.
17:47For Dad to avoid the chain reaction,
17:52all he needs to do is act differently to Carl's outbursts
17:57and take out that second domino.
17:59Instead of you thinking,
18:02how am I going to work alongside this?
18:05Right.
18:06How am I going to compromise?
18:07You react.
18:08Right.
18:09If I don't.
18:12Take out that.
18:13So the reason why we've set this up is for you to realize
18:18that as soon as we take out your reaction,
18:20there's no chain reaction anymore.
18:22I like that.
18:23I didn't realize I was doing that.
18:25You'll be left with no anger.
18:27Right.
18:28You won't need to control.
18:30It means you don't take it personally.
18:32Right.
18:33You know, I think overall, if I'm calmer,
18:37the whole situation comes out better in the end.
18:40Children who do have ADHD need a lot of consistent motivation.
18:50So a reward system in place really does help.
18:53And that's why I introduced the water work system
18:56to give Carl some self-esteem and boost his confidence.
18:59These cups, all right, have different things on them.
19:04This one has a good report from Alejandra.
19:08The next one is homework.
19:10Now, this is what happens.
19:13When you do it, and you do it very well,
19:16you get the chance to open it up
19:20and fill it up with the water to this ridge.
19:24OK?
19:25And then what?
19:26And then when you've achieved that,
19:29you then get to pour the water into the tube.
19:33Now, if you do all of this,
19:36that ball at the bottom will start to float
19:39and rise right the way to the top.
19:41This is your top.
19:42That's going to be awesome.
19:43When Kyle saw the water works, he was pretty excited.
19:45His eyes lit up.
19:46Also, I think he's going to be led in a positive direction
19:49of feeling better about himself.
19:51All right, give me five.
19:52You got it.
19:53You got it, buddy.
19:54You got it.
19:56You got it.
19:57You got it.
19:58Carl was excited about earning his first reward,
20:01so he sat down to do some homework
20:03whilst I went through some tips.
20:05Find a quiet spot.
20:06OK.
20:07It's a quiet spot.
20:08Only present one assignment at a time.
20:11Which one are you going to do first?
20:12You decide.
20:13The bugs or this one?
20:14No, this one.
20:15OK.
20:16That one.
20:17OK.
20:18Explain the instructions slowly and carefully,
20:20and when he's doing well, praise the effort that he's making.
20:23The tools for homework were great.
20:25It's something that I've never thought of.
20:27The simple things that would really help a kid.
20:30Kyle, look how smart he is.
20:32How did you do these blocks?
20:34How did you do these blocks?
20:36OK, so the kangaroo is on two, and we took one away.
20:40What do we have left?
20:42One.
20:43This is too easy.
20:45This is so easy.
20:46This is so easy.
20:47You did good.
20:48Write it in here.
20:49Kyle did really good with his homework,
20:51but after 20 minutes, he started to wobble with his focus.
20:56Backwards.
20:57Do it again.
20:58But I can't do it backwards!
21:00I was a little apprehensive about Kyle and his homework,
21:03because usually he, you know, gets really distracted
21:06and decides he's not going to do it.
21:07I wasn't sure what was going to happen.
21:09I can't do it all righty.
21:10You've got like two, three months.
21:11I'm so sweaty.
21:14It was fantastic to see Heather just stay put with Kyle
21:18and keep him focused, and he went off a little bit
21:21and she brought him back again.
21:22Hey, you just had one little mistake.
21:24It's not the end of the world.
21:26There you go.
21:27High five.
21:28Well done, Kyle.
21:30The homework that he ended up doing,
21:32it took us a half hour.
21:33It would take us normally two hours to complete.
21:35Three pieces of homework in 30 minutes.
21:39The children with ADHD suffer from a lot of low self-esteem,
21:44so giving Kyle a reward system that would motivate him
21:48would make him very pleased,
21:50and adding an additional sticker book would make him smile.
21:53Kyle's homework achievement book.
21:56Choose one of these stickers,
21:58and you will place it into your book here
22:01every time you achieve your homework.
22:04When I do my homework, I put a sticker on my sticker book.
22:09My shirt!
22:11Homework?
22:12Isn't that on your waterworks?
22:14Yes.
22:15With real positive support from his parents,
22:18a sticker book, the waterworks system in place,
22:21it's really going to give Kyle the self-esteem
22:24and confidence he's going to need
22:26to focus on his school homework.
22:28High five.
22:37Hello.
22:38How are you?
22:39Good.
22:40With Kyle making progress,
22:41I now need to increase better communication
22:44between mum and dad
22:45and the other people in Kyle's life.
22:47So, is there any way we can sit?
22:48Sure.
22:49Have a conversation.
22:50Come on over here.
22:51Kyle has been suspended five or six times.
22:54We're very serious about, you know,
22:56making sure Kyle doesn't fall between the cracks.
22:58We're doing a behavior chart,
22:59and that seems to be working.
23:01He has to verbalize how he feels that he did,
23:04and then I verbalize how I feel he did,
23:07and we talk about it,
23:08and then he can go ahead and make the decision
23:10whether he thinks he deserved a happy face,
23:12an okay face, or a sad face.
23:13Getting on the same page with Kyle's school,
23:16I think is going to be very beneficial
23:18to improving his ADHD behaviors.
23:21I think it would be a great idea
23:23to have a report book going back and forth,
23:25so that there's this relationship between you both
23:28that reports daily what's happening
23:30and supports Kyle.
23:31If mum and dad can collaborate with Kyle's teacher
23:34and set up a system that's the same
23:36at home and at school,
23:38it will give Kyle consistency.
23:40It's great to come here and have this conversation
23:42and just really find out what we can all do for Kyle.
23:45With mum and dad more settled,
23:50it is time to bring Alejandra back
23:52so they can have more open conversation.
23:55The communication between the pair of you
23:57has got to get better.
23:58It's got to get better.
24:00Alejandra, can I ask you just to be really frank
24:03with the things that you're finding extremely difficult
24:07when looking after the kids?
24:10When they don't listen and they try to hit me.
24:13Kyle just hit me.
24:15So is it mainly Kyle that's the problem?
24:18Mostly Kyle.
24:19It's really hard to make them listen.
24:22I just can't force them, but that's the hard part.
24:25When Joe was having the conversation with Alejandra and I
24:28about where her difficulties are,
24:30that was good to kind of go over and make that known to me.
24:35The discipline is one that you can learn,
24:38just like Heather's learning now.
24:41And I think that's important for you to discuss with Alejandra.
24:45I think with the discipline with the kids,
24:48you know, I'd like to have her do the same thing
24:51that we're doing here,
24:52so that we're both on the same page.
24:54To help Mum and Alejandra feel like they're supporting one another,
24:58I introduced a nanny diary
25:00so they can record the events of the day.
25:03What I have here I want to show you, okay,
25:06is the nanny diary.
25:07Oh, hi.
25:08OK?
25:09That's nice.
25:10What it does, it allows you just to jot down
25:11some of the things that have happened during the day, all right?
25:13Some of the negative things, some of the positive things
25:15that you'll be able to read.
25:17The nanny diary is really, really going to help me a lot
25:20because Heather will know, you know, what's going on during the day,
25:24what's happening with the kids, how they're behaving.
25:27I'm going to give that to you, Alejandra.
25:30All right?
25:31The nanny diary is going to help,
25:32but Carl, when he is around Alejandra,
25:35does need more structure,
25:37so I'm going to go through doing a new routine with Heather.
25:40What I would propose is for you to do homework with Carl.
25:47So you're going to learn how we're going to do that, all right?
25:49He's done his homework, he does really well.
25:52He will use the waterworks that we have there.
25:55Yet again, I'm expecting you to explain that to Alejandra,
25:58and it helps support Carl.
26:00Alejandra and I have never sat down like that before,
26:03so this is actually better now.
26:06I think she feels probably more comfortable with me,
26:08and I feel more comfortable with her.
26:10I feel that we have a real solid routine
26:13that's going to support what we're doing here.
26:16Feeling better?
26:17Yeah, I love better. Thank you.
26:23I'm leaving for several days.
26:26Carl, I want to see you continuing with your homework, all right?
26:31And doing really well.
26:33Keep up the good work with the dominoes, all right?
26:35I mean, I'm seeing a big improvement already.
26:37With Joe leaving, I'm a little anxious
26:39to see what's going to happen with Kyle.
26:41I still think he's going to push buttons.
26:43And Mom?
26:44Mm-hmm.
26:45Just energy.
26:46Okay.
26:47All right?
26:48It's just about being in that driving seat.
26:49Okay.
26:50Just follow it through.
26:51Seeing Joe walk out the door
26:53and knowing that she's going to be gone for the next three days
26:56makes me feel a little bit nervous.
26:58I'm just crossing my fingers that we remember all the steps
27:01and we do them correctly.
27:02And when she comes back,
27:04we're not, like, horrified by what we see.
27:14After three days away,
27:16the question is, did this family stay calm
27:19or did it all blow up?
27:21Who wants to see what I've got here?
27:23I do.
27:24Huh? Are you excited?
27:25Yeah.
27:26We are excited.
27:27I'm a little nervous.
27:28Yeah? Okay.
27:29So, um...
27:30Let's see.
27:31Here we're going to look at homework.
27:33This I do want to see.
27:35Okay, Kyle, come on.
27:36One last assignment,
27:37and then we can use your achievement book
27:40if we can get it done.
27:42Let's see.
27:43You did two homeworks.
27:44Perfect.
27:45Can he do a third?
27:46Can he do it?
27:47Perfect.
27:48Oh, my goodness.
27:49Good tea.
27:50Tell me when I can open them.
27:52Open.
27:54Kyle.
27:55This is the best writing I have ever seen you do.
27:59I'm going to put this one from Mom.
28:01That says, amazing.
28:05That's one of the best pieces I have ever seen
28:08in four years of being here in America.
28:12Serious.
28:13Congratulations.
28:14Seriously.
28:15Yeah, he's really good.
28:16Congratulations.
28:17Give me a hug.
28:18That was amazing.
28:19Amazing.
28:20That was absolutely amazing.
28:24Yeah, he's doing great.
28:26Just his temperament, everything.
28:28That's just a role model.
28:29Absolutely role model.
28:31So, the next piece we're going to look at here
28:33is actually just dealing with Carl
28:34and how we've been taking care of the situation.
28:37Let's pack up the game.
28:38And let's go take our shower.
28:40Pack up the game.
28:41It's shower time.
28:42What are you talking about?
28:43It's 7 o'clock.
28:44When you're ready to come up and talk to me,
28:46come up and talk.
28:47Come on.
28:54What happened in there?
28:55What?
28:56In there.
28:57I screamed.
28:58Why?
28:59Because you were upset?
29:02You can feel upset,
29:03but you don't have to go scream that loud, do you?
29:09There.
29:10How did you realize that?
29:11And it didn't take very long, did it?
29:12To chill out.
29:13Michael!
29:14You played dominoes while I was gone.
29:17Mm-hmm.
29:18Huh?
29:19It's been good.
29:20You took that domino piece out.
29:23I've been more calm, that's for sure.
29:25Absolutely.
29:26Absolutely beautiful.
29:27This is a good day.
29:29Okay, let's look at the next piece.
29:31Call me if you need anything.
29:34But don't be scared to give them a time out.
29:36Okay.
29:37Be firm.
29:38Yell at them.
29:39Put them in time out.
29:40Okay.
29:41Don't not hit me.
29:42Okay?
29:43You're gonna get in big trouble.
29:44Okay?
29:45I am upset with you.
29:46I don't like the way you're talking to me.
29:48You gotta stop.
29:49Stop hitting me.
29:51Okay.
29:52Stop doing that.
29:53Go in the other room right now.
29:55Okay.
29:56How were they?
29:57Oh, my goodness.
29:58Good and bad.
29:59Uh-oh.
30:00What happened?
30:01Uh, it hit me, like, a couple times, and you were not listening.
30:05And what about Farley and Pierce?
30:07Uh, they were mostly, like, nice.
30:10It's okay.
30:11It was hard, but you dealt with it.
30:13Yeah, I did.
30:14Okay.
30:15It was great to see Alejandra actually come forth and say to you about having the bad day.
30:20I love the fact that you explained it to her.
30:22It was lovely to see her actually feel okay about what hadn't gone great with the day.
30:28When you've left and you've gone off to work, she needs to be able to hold that same authority and basically be your substitute in a way when you are at work, you know?
30:37Perfect.
30:38But good stuff.
30:39I'm glad to see that.
30:40That was a nice piece of footage there.
30:41So, I'm gonna take a look at how serious you've been throughout me being away.
30:46Yeah.
30:47Cut.
30:48Here, Kyle.
30:49Is that what you do with scissors?
30:51Is that what we do with scissors?
30:54No.
30:55Okay.
30:56What do you think you do with scissors?
30:57Cut our hair?
30:58Or does the hairdresser cut our hair?
30:59Yeah.
31:00Okay.
31:01So, stop cutting your hair.
31:12Oh, my words.
31:14No.
31:15No.
31:16Oh, dear.
31:18You can't cut your hair because now you have a funny spot and everyone's gonna say, what did that kid do?
31:27Oh.
31:28Common sense.
31:30Common sense.
31:31Where was your common sense?
31:34That could have been everyone could have poked his eye out.
31:36The first thing would have been to have taken the scissors straight away out of Kyle's hands.
31:41Okay.
31:42You take what's unsafe out of arms.
31:45That's your job as a parent.
31:47That's crazy.
31:48Okay, today we look at safety.
31:50I have to say, I'm very encouraged to see that the way you have chosen to do homework has totally supported Kyle a hundred percent.
32:00I love, love Michael, love your relationship with Kyle here.
32:04I mean, it's just so mature.
32:06It's very, very positive.
32:08And it's certainly gonna build your relationship with Kyle and allow it to grow as it should with father and son.
32:14So, um...
32:15It's been much easier.
32:17Well, that's exactly how it should be.
32:19You know, and that's certainly what we're seeing now, which makes me a very happy nanny.
32:23All right, let's get going.
32:24Okay.
32:27After seeing Kyle butcher his hair on that DVD, I knew it was time to teach his family just a little bit more safety.
32:33Safety is a priority.
32:35Number one, we need the backyard gate secure and we need the front door secure as well.
32:41All right?
32:42There's no safety catch on the front door.
32:44There's a backyard lock that the children can open very, very easily.
32:49And I just feel that they have not taken the time to scan the house and realize, you know, how are we gonna make this child proof?
32:57This one here will be for the front door.
33:00No, no, no, no. I don't want you to go in the street.
33:03And this one here will go on the other side of the backyard gate.
33:08Kyle, get in here right now.
33:12We've done safety for the front door, the backyard's been bolted.
33:16That was a really good thing that Joe suggested for us, huh?
33:19There are certain things in place for safety, but we still need a little bit more.
33:25I mean, let's face it, when Kyle picked up those scissors and started to chomp his hair out, my God, it was my worst nightmare.
33:31Draw latches.
33:32Okay.
33:33All right?
33:34Where do I keep the scissors?
33:35Safety scissors.
33:36So, please, we need that, all of you.
33:38All right?
33:39Because you shouldn't have been cutting your hair or your brother's hair.
33:47I felt it was a lot safer that we brought in some of these safety aspects, putting locks on the doors, putting the knives up higher.
33:55Look at that.
33:58I mean, I know these blocks meant to be up here, but...
34:00Yeah, just get a drawer.
34:02The house is much safer now because of what Joe helped us do.
34:07With the house of Aoife and Mum and Alejandra communicating more, there is still one thing I need to do, and that's to teach Alejandra how to discipline these kids by herself.
34:19Alejandra, how's Farley been and Pierce?
34:23Uh, she was...
34:24Hey, Farley.
34:25..with me.
34:27She hit me in the head.
34:28She hit you in the head?
34:29Yeah.
34:30I was so not pleased when I heard this, and so I said to Alejandra, you're going to have to do time out with her.
34:35That behaviour is totally unacceptable. Do you understand me?
34:40You do not hit anybody.
34:43For you to think that it's OK to hit your nanny is appalling.
34:48My main objective was really making sure that Alejandra would respect herself and not allow one of her charges to do that to her.
35:00Take her straight to the step.
35:01Let's go time out.
35:02As their nanny, this is about her taking a stand for herself.
35:07Alejandra was...
35:08All she was needing was permission to do it.
35:10I'm going to stay here because you hit me in the head and it was not OK.
35:14Well, slow down.
35:15So, right now, you see your voice?
35:18Your voice is like you talk to them all the time.
35:21Do I sound like I'm happy when I'm talking to you?
35:23No, I'm not happy.
35:24So, she needs to know that.
35:25OK?
35:26Through the voice that you use.
35:29We are not happy with the way you have chose to behave.
35:32You will stay there, young lady.
35:36OK, off we go.
35:37I didn't really know how to do that, you know, put in time out and I didn't know how.
35:43She'll be there for five minutes.
35:44OK.
35:45Keep an eye on the time.
35:46OK.
35:47OK?
35:48Then I want you to come back.
35:49And very firmly, like I'm doing now, very firmly, you have been put here because you hit me.
35:55And I am not happy with that.
35:56I want you to tell me you're sorry.
35:57OK.
35:58Because she gives you the apology, hugs and kisses, then you get her off the step.
36:02I was a little apprehensive about how Alejandra would take this whole experience and whether
36:07she'd be fully into it like we are and we need her to be in order for it to work well
36:12in our family.
36:14The reason why you're here is because you hit me in the head.
36:19And you had to get time out and that was not OK, OK?
36:22Now I need an apology for you.
36:24Sorry.
36:25OK.
36:26OK.
36:27I was really glad that she was firm and she put her on the spot and she did it.
36:38It was great.
36:39OK.
36:40We'll be in.
36:41OK.
36:42Good.
36:48So listen guys, I'm going.
36:50OK.
36:51Bye bye.
36:52Bye bye darling.
36:53Bye bye.
36:54I miss you.
36:55Sweetie.
36:56I've got to take my heart off to any parent who, even when they feel that they are at
37:01the lowest, find that strength.
37:03They really do.
37:04And that's exactly what the Park family did.
37:06The children are happier.
37:08You can feel that.
37:09And Michael and Heather are far more confident than what they ever were when I arrived.
37:14They're proud of themselves.
37:15And so they should be.
37:17I think what Joe did for us, first and foremost, was deal with Kyle's ADHD and how to get him
37:23in check with homework, with everything, with the things we couldn't do.
37:27I thought she had a really good perspective on what was going on inside his mind.
37:31Every day I see that you just become more and more confident.
37:34I know.
37:35Thank you so much.
37:36Keep it up.
37:37Keep talking.
37:38If I had one thing to say to other parents that have kids with ADHD, my new experience
37:44tells me that patience is the key.
37:46Are you pleased with me?
37:48I am pleased with you, yes.
37:50I'm pleased with all of you.
37:52The most important thing that Joe helped me with, how to tell the kids to respect me.
37:58Keep growing, okay?
37:59Thank you all.
38:00Take care.
38:01I'm going to really, really miss Joe.
38:03She's the best.
38:04Enjoy.
38:06Enjoy.
38:07I think what parents will get from watching the Park family is to recognise that even when
38:13you feel your reserve tank is empty, there's always just a little bit more left.
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