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Jo visits a couple to help not to lose complete control over their four kids, including a 14-year-old bully-in-training.
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00:00Hi, we're the Quinn family.
00:02I'm Gina, mom.
00:03David, dad.
00:04And we have four children.
00:10Callie, 16.
00:11Casey, 14.
00:13Corey's 10.
00:14Put your head in the toilet, or else.
00:16And Carly is nine.
00:18I'm a chiropractor.
00:19Oh, you fell into me.
00:22Get off of me.
00:23I'm a personal trainer.
00:25Right now, I'm an amateur, competitive bodybuilder.
00:29Mom!
00:30Usually, when the kids are home, I'm home.
00:34I told her not to mess with me.
00:39Ow.
00:39Casey!
00:40It should be fun.
00:41He's a wonderful wrestler, but clearly,
00:44Casey is the most aggressive child.
00:47We get very nervous, because we're so afraid
00:49he's going to hurt somebody.
00:51Casey will punch, shove, he will wrestle.
00:56Oh, so we've got a big man in the house now, have we?
00:59You're so...
01:00All our kids are swearing, and the language is unacceptable.
01:05That's a...
01:06It's just unbelievable to us, but that's where we're at.
01:09What are you doing?
01:10Look at that.
01:12Cuffing has become so common in this household that nobody even bats an eyelid.
01:19Ow!
01:20Ow!
01:21Ow!
01:22Ow!
01:23Ow!
01:24I behave sometimes like one of the kids.
01:28Then they don't understand that there's a point where enough's enough.
01:32Cory, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:36Give it to me.
01:37We are having a heck of a time trying to educate them on that line.
01:41These kids just don't take you seriously.
01:44Ow!
01:45When I come home, they say things that I think they know are going to send me in an outrage.
01:51Get downstairs and finish up, or the deal's off.
01:53Ah!
01:54The feeling like when I walk in the door, I don't even want to be here, that's not a
01:59good thing.
02:00So I'm spending more time at the gym.
02:06It's been very difficult to just have some quality time with the kids and with the family.
02:10Well, it would be nice if this family just came together and spent some good time with
02:15one another.
02:16No, it's not fair!
02:17I never eat ice cream!
02:19We feel like we are at a total loss.
02:22Ow!
02:23No!
02:24I feel like we are putting a Band-Aid on a pretty big wound.
02:28Super Nanny, we desperately need you.
02:34Please hurry.
02:35Well, I know I've certainly seen enough.
02:38Enough is enough.
02:39I'm on my way to help.
02:51Hello.
02:52Hello.
02:53Hi.
02:54Pleased to meet you.
02:55I'm Jo Frost.
02:56I'm Gina Quinn.
02:57Hi.
02:58Come on in.
03:00Hi.
03:01Pleased to meet you, Jo.
03:02How old are you, Corrie?
03:03Ten.
03:04Ten.
03:05Jo, how are you?
03:06Good.
03:07How old are you?
03:08I was introduced to the children and they were a little bit in the shop that I was actually
03:12there in their own home.
03:13Hi, Casey.
03:14Pleased to meet you.
03:15And what's your name?
03:16Carly.
03:17Hi, Carly.
03:18Pleased to meet you.
03:19Hi.
03:20How old are you?
03:21Nine.
03:22Nine?
03:23She's gonna be a really nice person and she's gonna help us.
03:26Where's dad?
03:27Dad's working.
03:28Is he?
03:29Okay.
03:30So what I'm gonna do is today I'm gonna hang out with you guys as a family.
03:34So don't mind me.
03:35Do what you would normally do.
03:36Okay.
03:37I definitely was not intimidated.
03:46Not long before I was in the house, I saw mum having a discussion with regards to chores.
03:55Yeah, I know.
03:56And I told you, you can be in direct control of how much money you earn.
04:01Right.
04:02So they get paid to do the chores.
04:04We've decided that if they had some chores to do, they can earn the money.
04:09These children are learning that anything they do has a price tag attached to it.
04:14I don't think that's right.
04:15If you look at their room, it's just clothes all over them.
04:18So how much for that?
04:19For making your bed tied in around?
04:21Like maybe a dollar.
04:22A dollar?
04:23You're so cheap.
04:24We can't go anywhere if we're making $2 a week.
04:26Well, you know, $20 a week is enough.
04:29Yeah.
04:30Linking your bed, separating laundry, cleaning your room.
04:33Come on.
04:34How much do you think you should get paid to do your room?
04:36Like, at least $5 to do your room.
04:38Well, I was quite taken back by this.
04:40Take your clothes off, you put them in the hamper.
04:42How big a deal is that?
04:43Separating laundry?
04:44Okay, it's a little bit more time consuming.
04:47Getting kids to do house chores can be pretty challenging.
04:50But actually negotiating a price tag for them is ridiculous.
04:54Why do we have to clean our room if it's not your room?
04:57You don't go in there.
04:58Because it's our room to maintain the home.
05:00Right now, I'm responsible for the entire house.
05:02And when I ask you guys to do something, the barrage of verbal abuse that I get is unbelievable.
05:09After hackling over a price to do chores, I saw exactly how harsh Casey can be with his brother and sisters.
05:17Get out.
05:18I need to use this, Cory.
05:20Cory put his head inside a wash basket that Casey wanted.
05:24Stop and give it back to me.
05:28No!
05:29If Cory's goofing off and not doing what Casey thinks he should be doing, problem arises.
05:34You know what?
05:35Stop and give it back to me.
05:37No!
05:38Sometimes I feel like Casey picks on me a lot.
05:40For a reason.
05:42Casey pinched his neck and mocked it all up.
05:46He keeps on pinching my neck.
05:48Casey, what?
05:49I didn't do that.
05:50I didn't pinch his neck.
05:51He just came in there.
05:53You know, a little roughhousing can be okay, but Casey has certainly stepped over the line here.
05:57I pushed him down because I'm trying to clean up my room and then he takes it and he puts it on his head.
06:03The physicality of the children's behavior has gotten to the point of being dangerous.
06:08I didn't pinch his neck.
06:10Yes, you did.
06:13The boys fought and then mum went off straight away to run an errand.
06:17The question was, would it all start to kick off again?
06:20I need to run out by myself.
06:22Sometimes I have to run a quick errand and leave the kids home alone.
06:26And I am fearful that while I am gone, something will escalate.
06:30I do.
06:31You say a comment.
06:32I'm going to punch you in the freaking head.
06:34You got complete ass back.
06:35So why don't you just leave it?
06:36Yeah, because you guys start stuff.
06:38I just get really annoyed sometimes that I just can't control it anymore.
06:42I'll throw this at your head.
06:43It'll kick you so hard.
06:44When Casey has his attitude on, I think, oh God, I better just stay out of this.
06:50You're an ass.
06:51I don't care.
06:52They choose to yell and shout at each other.
06:54They choose to react very quickly.
06:57Leave him alone!
06:58This is how they've been conditioned to communicate with one another.
07:02And that's caused a great lack of respect.
07:05Don't touch them.
07:06No, you weren't going on.
07:08She got to the computer and she's on.
07:11Stop it.
07:13They're .
07:14You have to come home, Mom.
07:20When Mom arrived home later, I wanted to ask her about her competitive bodybuilding.
07:24I mean, I was interested.
07:26So for you, would you say it was a challenge that you set yourself and the reward and the
07:30achievement of it makes you stand six foot tall and feel really proud of that?
07:34Yeah, I'm very proud of what this personal growth for you.
07:37Yeah.
07:38A year and a half ago, I got introduced to competitive bodybuilding.
07:41I am hooked and I am looking forward to my second competition.
07:46Do you feel you have as much satisfaction at home at the moment?
07:50Uh, with the family?
07:52No.
07:53It is so hard to admit that I am not enjoying my family right now and don't want to be there.
08:02Because I feel so unappreciated for what I do do for them.
08:06I'm so upset that I've withdrawn myself almost for survival.
08:11Just like so I don't totally explode and break down and I just kind of block it out.
08:15After speaking to Mom, I knew that I needed to work on making sure she could emotionally reconnect with her children.
08:21I don't want to look back and say, oh my gosh, the kids are gone.
08:26I didn't enjoy any of it and, and it's over.
08:32Ooh!
08:33Daddy!
08:34Lambie chops!
08:35I was hoping that when Dad came home, he would restore order and discipline and be the solution.
08:40Instead, he was the problem.
08:42You're in training mode.
08:43I don't think...
08:44Gotcha, dog!
08:45Dave's a very playful person.
08:47He laughs a lot.
08:48You're awake.
08:49I saw you.
08:55You know, he's a really happy-go-lucky chap.
08:59But I realized this constant smile stayed on his face.
09:05Even when his children started to misbehave.
09:08No, no, no.
09:09Load her up.
09:10Load her up.
09:11Load her up.
09:12Laughter seems to be just a natural response.
09:15And it's very misinterpreted by the kids.
09:18No, no, no, no.
09:19That's all right.
09:20No, no, no.
09:25He just doesn't see when it's time to just calm down and be firm with his children.
09:32You're gonna hurt yourself.
09:33No!
09:34They don't recognize when to stop.
09:37Sometimes.
09:38All right.
09:39That's enough.
09:40Oh!
09:41Right in line!
09:42Before I know it, David's got a scratch on the side of his face that his son's given
09:48him, and he's not even said anything about it.
09:52You got a scratch on your face?
09:54Yeah, he brutalized me already.
09:55Yeah, I mean, Dad.
09:56What are you doing?
09:57And there's Casey feeling good because he's done that to his dad.
10:01Freak as a ball.
10:02You will break nobody back.
10:04Instead of Dad dealing with the situation, he laughs everything off.
10:06So then he becomes a good cop, she's the bad cop, and Mom's fed up with it.
10:11Hey, Carly, I'm gonna have dinner there.
10:13Can you pick up your...
10:14I've had a really good day today.
10:21It's been really interesting just hanging out with you all.
10:23And I'm really...
10:24We are not perfect parents, and we probably never will be perfect parents, but we need
10:29to be better parents.
10:30Get some sleep tonight so that we can be up early tomorrow and have our talk.
10:34Our greatest fear is that the behaviors that we see now will escalate into behaviors that
10:41we will no longer be able to control.
10:43Goodnight.
10:44Goodnight, thank you.
10:45Bye-bye.
10:46These kids know what they need, and their parents are not doing it for them.
10:49So when I come back tomorrow to talk to them, I'm gonna have to lay it down straight.
10:53The first thing I want to talk to you both about is discipline and your lack of consistency.
11:08When did you both make a choice to not follow through on the discipline you had placed in
11:15the house?
11:16What are the rules?
11:18What is it?
11:19It varies day to day.
11:21That's...
11:22I don't think we've sat down and discussed yet.
11:23Well, the rules shouldn't vary.
11:25I know, but they do.
11:26We don't want them swearing at us.
11:28That should remain consistent.
11:30This is my point.
11:31You know, just now I bring up what's the rules, and you're like, well, they vary, and
11:35well, they shouldn't.
11:36But fundamentally, you guys should have spoke about rules and conduct.
11:42If we don't address what needs to be dealt with, we're gonna have kids that are gonna
11:47spiral out of control, and it's bad now.
11:52Agreed.
11:54Dad, let's talk about yourself.
11:56You know, you've got a great personality.
11:58You are sunshine.
11:59But there comes a point when your kids are smacking you in the face, and they're being
12:04rude to you, and you're like...
12:06I'm like, what is he doing?
12:08There's a line.
12:09You've got to draw the line, David.
12:11It's hard to feel where that line is.
12:14I mean...
12:15No, you know it.
12:16Oh, trust me, David.
12:17I know you know it.
12:18When Casey was roughhousing with you, and you guys were wrestling, they got to a point
12:23where your face went serious for a minute, and that is when you should have turned around
12:27and said to him, hold on a minute, Casey.
12:30That's enough now.
12:31Instead, you just blew it off.
12:34Last but not least, let's concentrate on yourself here, Gina.
12:37It's sad when I hear you turn around and say, I'm discouraged.
12:43I don't really want to spend time with my kids.
12:45Well, that is sad.
12:46I don't feel...
12:47I'm not happy to admit that.
12:49It's just somewhat true right now, because the behaviour that's displayed on a regular
12:55basis is not enjoyable.
12:57But if you're not doing anything to change that, cancelling out that behaviour that we
13:02see, how can you be the mother that enjoys being around the kids?
13:06Well, I can't successfully until it does change.
13:09It's not that you don't want that though, is it?
13:11No.
13:12I don't have to make some changes, and I want to, obviously.
13:34I wouldn't be here.
13:36Dave always reminds me, they're going to be gone and you're going to look back.
13:40Then you're not going to feel very good about the fact that you didn't enjoy your kids.
13:45I don't want to.
13:47I don't want that to happen.
13:49What we need is togetherness.
13:51What we need is a family growing, bonding with one another, emotionally connecting.
13:57I want focus, effort, perseverance, and I want you guys working together as a team.
14:03Okay?
14:04We're in?
14:05Yep.
14:06We're in.
14:07All right.
14:08Okay, let's go.
14:14When I first came into the house, I wanted to establish house rules so that both mum and
14:18dad can be consistent in forcing discipline.
14:20Your mum and dad now are going to talk to you with regards to those house rules so that
14:25you're fully aware of what's not acceptable in this house, okay?
14:30The first thing is no hitting each other.
14:33I realise we're going to wrestle around a little bit and play, but there is a line and
14:39we constantly go over it.
14:41And I'm looking at you, yes.
14:43How did you get that mark on your face?
14:44How did you get that mark on your face?
14:46You gave it to me the other day.
14:47Yeah, that's right, son.
14:48Yeah.
14:49What do you mean, yeah, that's right, son?
14:51Hi.
14:52Hi.
14:53Casey felt really proud that he had wrestled his dad down to the floor very aggressively
14:58without listening to his dad when he said stop.
15:01And I just realised that dad has given his son mixed messages, so I wonder why it's
15:05chaos upstairs.
15:06You know, the stuff that you do in the ring when you wrestle is the stuff that you do as
15:12sport.
15:13There is a line when you know when somebody says stop, that's enough, that you respect
15:18that.
15:19And I want you guys to respect what your dad's saying, because let's face it, your mum and
15:25dad are in charge here.
15:28What's the other house rule, Gina?
15:29Well, I think the verbal abuse amongst each other is just as painful as the physical abuse.
15:35That's the house rule.
15:37So I think we all want to get on the same train, right?
15:40We're all going in the same direction, which I'm pleased to see.
15:47Once mum and dad had established the house rules, what I did was give the kids a chance
15:51to voice their opinion about how much they want discipline as well.
15:55Come and take a seat next to David, Gina.
15:57I had the kids use balloons, so as they were telling their parents what they hadn't enforced
16:01in the past, they realised it was full of hot air.
16:04Carly?
16:05Can you say something to two people and then you let one person do it and not the other?
16:14You don't follow through with punishments, like when you said, when you were leaving for New York
16:20and you said, anybody that misses school will be grounded.
16:23And then I was about to miss school and you wanted to ground me and then Callie missed school
16:28and you didn't ground her.
16:29My parents just, they're just full of hot air.
16:32They just, they'll say one thing and completely switch it.
16:35Dad started to laugh and found it highly amusing.
16:43You guys always make rules that I can't go places and that Casey can
16:48and then it's always different, the rules are always different between the two of us.
16:56All right, stop for a minute, can you come with me please?
16:59I felt really frustrated because I'm in there helping this family,
17:04really set some boundaries and some strong discipline for the aggressive behaviour.
17:09And there I am watching one of the parents not taking this whole thing seriously.
17:14So I pulled David aside and took him upstairs so I could have a really firm word with him.
17:20Do you want to be in a place where your son muscles up to you at 16 and says,
17:25let's have it, let's go?
17:26No.
17:27Do you want confrontation with him?
17:29No.
17:30Do you want your daughter pregnant at 17?
17:32No.
17:33Because she couldn't come to you?
17:34Absolutely not.
17:35I felt like a schoolboy going to the principal.
17:38But I understand and recognise that it had to be done.
17:42I can't continue to be the jokester all the time.
17:46Your kids need a dad, yeah, who can take them seriously and not laugh at everything.
17:52David's in this situation because he wasn't good at laying down firm boundary lines and holding his place as the father of this house.
18:01And these kids in turn have got no respect for him.
18:03I have a small amount of time with you and if I need to put my foot on your backside and say, let's take this seriously, then I will.
18:12So if he wants change, he's got to realise that he can be this goofy dad, but he's also going to have to be firm at times as well.
18:18And I'm going to make you proud of yourself as a father when you and I are done.
18:22Okay.
18:23Alright? Trust me.
18:24Okay.
18:25Let's go.
18:26Like, sometimes I want to go out to the movies and Casey wants to go out too and he gets to go out and I don't.
18:35I felt better so they know how we feel when they don't follow through.
18:41So when you're inconsistent with discipline or when you set something up and you don't follow through,
18:47it's what I get. Hot air.
18:52The point Joe was trying to make is that we've let the kids down and they're calling us on it.
19:07The next day was all about teaching Casey to respect the word stop, whether he's at home or on the wrestling mat.
19:13Simple as that.
19:14What I want to establish here, no is no, enough is enough.
19:18When you're back home, when you're messing around and you're goofing around, remember that you're having fun and you're enjoying it,
19:24but at the same time, when no is no, it's no. When enough is enough, it's enough.
19:31Casey needs to realise that even though he obeys the rules when it comes to wrestling at school,
19:36he needs to apply the same when he's at home, but he got too rough with his brother.
19:41Sometimes when I wrestle with my brother, I don't feel comfortable.
19:48I think that Casey goes after me and hurts me.
19:52Don't hurt me.
19:54Ow, stop.
20:00Ow.
20:01I stepped in and I took Casey aside.
20:03And I said to him, instead of being his bully, why don't you be like his big brother who he can look up to and be his mentor?
20:10Show him how to use his grip properly so that it benefits him.
20:15Good teaching. Good teaching, Casey. Well done, Corey.
20:21Once Corey could trust his brother again, I needed to work on Casey, respecting the words stop or no.
20:29Casey, that's enough. That's enough.
20:32And it took a while, but he began to make progress.
20:38I think if I use the discipline that I have when I'm training for a match, like at home, that would be good,
20:46because I'll be a good kid.
20:49All right, good.
20:53This is good stuff, huh?
20:55All right, so look, I'm pleased with what I've seen here today, because I've seen a lot of control on this mat.
21:01We can still have our fun, we can still play, but we have to have a healthy boundary there.
21:07Casey, I think, has really understood that very clearly.
21:11You two are going to give Dad a hug?
21:13You might just have to kiss him.
21:19When I resumed teaching the next day, it was down to tackling house chores.
21:25Not only do these kids do know house chores, but they're trying to extort their parents to pay a high price to do them.
21:31Can you believe that?
21:32I don't think you should get $2 for tidying up your bedroom. It's your bedroom, look after it.
21:36And there are chores that you're going to be doing in the house.
21:38It's got nothing to do with your money, because these chores are mandatory.
21:43Your parents to write down the chores that they expect you to do, and then you can show visually here when you've done it.
21:51I think it's going to be very effective because there's no misunderstanding about what has to be done.
21:58And it's also going to relieve me of having to harp on them.
22:18I made it very clear to the kids that they will not be paid to do house chores. That's mandatory.
22:25However, they will be given the privilege to have pocket money every week. But there is a twist.
22:30These boxes are to measure your swearing. The swearing, the cussing, the name-calling, it's not appropriate behaviour. It's rude. It's disrespectful.
22:41The older kids can get up to $15 a week, and the younger kids $5 a week. But they've got to mind their tongues.
22:48So, you do have the privilege of having your pocket money weekly. But if your parents hear you cuss, you're going to lose 50 cents every time you do it.
22:56We lose 50 cents when we're swearing and stuff. And, like, we do swear a lot.
23:01I do want follow through. If you hear the kids cussing and swearing, I want you to come straight over here.
23:06And you're going to keep tally of how much it is so you can remain consistent every week.
23:17This family don't spend any time together because they're so busy being combative with one another.
23:23So, it was important for me to take them out so that they would spend family time together and do something adventurous.
23:29So, listen, I'm glad you're all togged up. I can see you've got all your good boots on, you've got gloves, coats on, which is good.
23:36It's winter, it's cold, and I'm not an outdoor kind of girl.
23:40We are here today to spend some family time together and enjoy our adventure.
23:48My plan was to take them on a great big hike so that they would work as a team and start to trust one another.
23:56However, 20 minutes holding a map and a compass, Mom and Dad managed to get the whole family lost.
24:02Why are you going over there?
24:03I'm just looking for marker six. Maybe it's here?
24:06I don't know. That's still north.
24:08Yep. And we still have to go east.
24:10That's still east.
24:11Let's stop for a minute and let's get in control.
24:14Where are we? Let's get our compasses out.
24:17Look on the map, Gina, and let's get our direction.
24:21OK, so we hold this thing out.
24:24We look at our map through the woods to number six going southeast.
24:29Once this family did finally come together as a team, they pulled it off.
24:33All right, now you're talking.
24:35All right, let's go.
24:38Each family member had a chance to be the leader, to use the compass and the map,
24:43and they did really well together as a family.
24:45Yeah.
24:46So it looks like there's a field on the other side of this.
24:50Callie in front, because Callie's leading us.
24:54Look.
24:55We've got to build a fire, right?
24:57It's got to be. What do you think?
24:59The Quinn family made it to the end of the hike, where they then started to build a campfire
25:04and we started to relax a bit.
25:06Let him strike it. He can strike it. Good design, Corey.
25:09Just rest your feet for a minute.
25:11Look at that. Good job, guys.
25:13Well done.
25:14I love the way that you kept communicating with one another.
25:18I'm expecting marshmallows and hot chocolate at this point, you know.
25:22We had a long day and we're all a little bit tired and it didn't go that way.
25:27So tonight what we will be doing is spending the night in the cabin house.
25:33I immediately looked at my wife and she was beside herself.
25:40You look like seeing a ghost.
25:42I know Mama's.
25:44I really wasn't happy about it at all.
25:46That's your shot. So do you want to take a look?
25:49I showed the whole family around the dormitory so that they could realise there was no electricity,
26:01there's no TV and there's no phones.
26:03As you will see, there are sleeping bags, there are lanterns.
26:08There's this stove, which keeps the cabin very warm actually.
26:12Mum, are we talking yet? Are we still in shock?
26:15Kelly?
26:21That's really the last thing I want to do is sleep in a cabin.
26:25All right, now I'm going to show you through to the kitchens.
26:30And through here, after the Quinns were familiar with their surroundings,
26:33I had a few words of advice that I wanted to give them before I left for several days.
26:37Remember the techniques that have been put in the house.
26:40You know, I kind of looked at myself and said,
26:43what the heck are we going to do?
26:45What I would love to do is to collect your cell phones from you.
26:50So have fun. Enjoy tonight.
26:52And I will see you in several days when I get back and see how you guys done.
26:56Bye-bye.
26:57Bye.
26:58I think Jo felt that we had been guided by her through the day.
27:04And now it was time for us to come together as a family.
27:13You have a choice to make, Cal.
27:15Well, Cali had a breakdown.
27:19It's okay to be upset.
27:20Mom's pretty upset too, you know.
27:22I want to go home.
27:23I don't want to stay.
27:25We weren't ready for all this.
27:27Nobody was.
27:28Nobody knew about it.
27:29Here it is.
27:30You got to decide to make the best of it.
27:32How do you make the best of it?
27:34Here we are.
27:35I think it's kind of fun.
27:36It's not fun.
27:37All right.
27:38So that's your choice.
27:39You've made your choice.
27:43It's been three days since I've seen the Quinns family.
27:45I'm a little bit curious to see how they got on spending the night in that cabin.
27:49The first clip that we're going to look at is the cabin clip.
27:54And we're going to take a look at exactly how you guys did.
27:58It's only important.
27:59I want to go home.
28:04I want to go home.
28:11What?
28:12We're going to play the game.
28:14Okay.
28:15Wait.
28:16First I have to explain it.
28:17This.
28:18When you hit twice.
28:19It reverses.
28:20You reverse it.
28:21Start over.
28:22Now.
28:23Okay.
28:24Both of you.
28:30Let's go guys.
28:31It's time to go home.
28:32Yay.
28:33Okay guys.
28:34I get the shower first.
28:36I go second.
28:37I'm going in my shower.
28:39I think we made the most of it.
28:41Some of us had a little bit more trouble with it than others.
28:44But I think we got through it okay.
28:46You did.
28:47Well done.
28:49When I left I heard a young girl crying.
28:53To see her come around like that and realize I've got a choice here.
28:56I can sit and not enjoy this experience or make the most of it.
28:59And she came around because you guys chose to have a really positive attitude
29:05in recognizing the importance of what you were doing there.
29:08And that spending time together.
29:10I'm really pleased that you did that.
29:12I really am.
29:13It's done with the computer right?
29:14You should not be on the computer.
29:15You know you're not supposed to be on the computer.
29:16Right?
29:17You know your time is up.
29:20One of your criticisms to me and to mom was we are not consistent.
29:25We never follow through.
29:26Correct?
29:27Yeah.
29:28Okay.
29:29Okay.
29:30Let's go.
29:31You're done.
29:32You've done your computer stuff.
29:33So what?
29:34I want to do more.
29:35I know you do.
29:36Why can't I just go on the computer?
29:38Why don't I just say thank you dog for listening.
29:40Right there.
29:41Right there.
29:42No.
29:43No.
29:44No.
29:45No.
29:46No.
29:47No.
29:48Let me sit on the computer.
29:49Okay.
29:50We have...
29:51No.
29:52Stop.
29:53Okay.
29:54Stop.
29:55Thank you, Belle.
29:57Okay.
29:58All right.
29:59Let's stop you right here.
30:00Thank you dog.
30:02It's like, you know what?
30:03Let's just have this.
30:04Just be tight.
30:05Yeah, it's you and I.
30:06Not at this stage.
30:07Wrong time to be playful and jest with your language.
30:11You made a very clear point that he was on that computer.
30:15His time was up.
30:16He shouldn't be on it now.
30:17And let's go.
30:18And you should have turned around and given him a warning.
30:20You should have said to him, you're smart-mouthing me.
30:22And that's disrespectful.
30:24Let's take a look at the next clip.
30:26Okay.
30:27Now you can clean that one too.
30:28Soap and water.
30:29No.
30:30Since you decided to sip out of it.
30:31It's fine.
30:32No.
30:33Soap and water.
30:34Shut.
30:35Off.
30:36Simply asked you to clean the cup that you decided to...
30:37Just leave me alone!
30:39You need to...
30:40Stop pissing everybody off!
30:42You need to go upstairs in my life.
30:43You're the most annoying person here!
30:45Sorry you feel that way.
30:46No one freaking likes you, Mom!
30:50Okay.
30:51Was he angry?
30:52Mm-hmm.
30:53Where did he need to go?
30:54Up in his room.
30:55Mm-hmm.
30:56Chill out.
30:57What did you just teach him?
30:59That it's okay to react to me that way.
31:01Mm-hmm.
31:02You're not saying to him, you need to go up into your room.
31:06Because this conversation is over at this stage.
31:09You've lost your temper.
31:10You've got to nip this behaviour.
31:12You've got to take care of it.
31:16Your kids need you to be firm.
31:20Okay?
31:21They need parents who are in.
31:22Are you guys in?
31:23Yeah.
31:24Okay?
31:25Today, no messing around, okay?
31:26It's hardcore.
31:27We go in and we deal with what we need to deal with today, all right?
31:30Okay?
31:31So, let's get started.
31:32We don't have time to waste.
31:38So, pocket money.
31:39Where are we?
31:41What's our allowances?
31:43I am ready to see.
31:45Ching-ching.
31:46Ching-ching.
31:47It was payday in the Quinn household.
31:49And it was going to be interesting to see who was going to get paid the full amount,
31:52and who was going to get paid less because they need to clean up their act.
31:55It's a privilege.
31:57However, it was attached to the sailor mouths in this house.
32:03Every swear word used will cost these kids 50 cents off their pocket money.
32:08Put a zip across this.
32:10Think first.
32:12Callie.
32:13With a tally there of five knocked off, so...
32:17So, that's $2.50 off the 15.
32:20We owe you $12.50.
32:22Okay.
32:23I think that the allowance bars are a great idea.
32:26It gives us some money for us for the weekend.
32:29All right, Callie.
32:30Nothing.
32:31I've had none of my allowance taken away.
32:35Corey.
32:36Five dollars.
32:37Please.
32:38I'm due to get my full five dollars this week.
32:43Okay.
32:44Casey.
32:45Blimey, look at this.
32:46It looks like a prison wall.
32:48All right, Casey.
32:49It's a big change for me, not being able to swear, because that's what I'm used to.
32:57$2.50.
32:58We've got five quid there.
32:59Another $2.50 here.
33:00That's $7.50.
33:02$7.50.
33:03$8.00.
33:05And $9.00.
33:07$9.00 taken off of $15.00.
33:09It leaves how much?
33:11$6.00.
33:12$6.00.
33:13$6.00 this week.
33:15You guys are in control of the weekly allowance that you get, all right?
33:19Now these kids know there's the price to pay if they decide to cuss.
33:22So hopefully they'll do this.
33:24So, good stuff.
33:25Don't spend it all at once.
33:32Before I left, there was one more thing that I really needed to do for Mum.
33:36So I came up with an idea to give Mum the opportunity to become closer to her kids.
33:40What I'm going to give you is this house.
33:45There are 18 windows to this house.
33:50Each day, Mum opens a new window.
33:52That will help her.
33:53I'm going to start the first one today.
33:56OK.
33:57The first window, write a message for the kids on their bathroom mirror.
34:02And you're going to find that the more you open the windows of this house,
34:05the more you're going to open the windows to your heart.
34:08Even though they're getting older, I shouldn't have to be any less nurturing toward them
34:14because they still have a ways to go.
34:17And they still need that from me.
34:19So you can allow these kids in.
34:24Get what I'm saying?
34:25OK.
34:26As high as Mum's brick wall is, inside she's all mushy.
34:34And I know that she really does want to reconnect with her kids.
34:37Your kids love you unconditionally.
34:40I just need to allow them in.
34:46They want only what a mother can give.
34:50It's been really great having Mum be honest and open with me
34:54whilst I've been working with her.
34:55But I need Mum to do that with her own kids.
34:57It's been so long since I've extended these subtle little I love you's
35:11that I don't know how to do it anymore.
35:13Jo had to show me.
35:14She had to tell me what to do.
35:16Mum wrote on the mirror,
35:19I love you more today than the day you were born.
35:22And Kelly was the first to see that.
35:25I've been very preoccupied.
35:28And I take full responsibility for that.
35:31And I need to show you.
35:36Not just tell you that I love you, but show you that I love you.
35:40OK?
35:41Mm-hmm.
35:42All right.
35:43I love you.
35:44So I love you.
35:45I love you too.
35:46One by one I had each child go up and look at the message
35:52that Mum had wrote on the mirror.
35:54I know you still want to just snuggle up, don't you?
35:57I haven't been too good at that, have I?
36:00Mm-mm.
36:01I'm sorry.
36:02This is what I'm thinking.
36:04This is what I'm feeling.
36:05And I want to tell you right now.
36:07It was really hard.
36:09Having gotten the very best of me, I'm sorry.
36:12I'm going to try a whole lot harder.
36:15I love you, Mommy.
36:16I love you too.
36:17You're a good girl.
36:18It was hardest for me with Casey.
36:24I'm sorry.
36:27I'm sorry.
36:28I'm sorry that I haven't shown you.
36:33It felt great to reach out to Casey.
36:36I think he was a little bit uncomfortable with it
36:39because he's just not used to that from me.
36:42But yet I think he wanted to accept it from me.
36:46Let's make a real conscious effort with one another here
36:49because you have a very special relationship,
36:51the two of you.
36:54It was very emotional and difficult,
36:57but a huge breakthrough.
36:59Come in.
37:00Loder.
37:01Bring it in.
37:02You little cherubs, come in.
37:03The journey has been difficult.
37:05The journey has been necessary.
37:06Keep up with your allowances.
37:07Having Joe come in and touch our lives has been a godsend.
37:12And the family is grateful.
37:13And remember, family time is important
37:17because look what you guys gained from it.
37:18When you all hung out and had some fun.
37:20Well, we decided to go camping tomorrow night.
37:21Yeah.
37:22No.
37:23No.
37:24No.
37:25No.
37:26No.
37:27No.
37:28No.
37:29No.
37:30No.
37:31No.
37:32No.
37:33No.
37:34No.
37:35No.
37:36No.
37:37No.
37:38No.
37:39No.
37:40No.
37:41No.
37:42I'm glad that Joe came.
37:43I think it really helped us.
37:45Thank you, Joe.
37:46You're more than welcome.
37:47Joe has opened my eyes to so much that she has allowed me to be able to change and be the
37:55parent that I want to be.
37:57Just keep going with it and keep talking.
37:59I want to hear chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat.
38:02The Quinn family no doubt have proved that they're willing to do what it takes to reconnect
38:08connect with their family and that's what's important here because the love
38:11that they have for one another is gonna carry them through the rough and this
38:14move she's a miracle worker because she helped us become a better family
38:38you
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