- anteontem
For the first time, Jo helps a deaf couple who have four hearing daughters. Most of them take full advantage of their parents' disabilities and do whatever they want.
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00:00Hello! We are the Bolish family.
00:03I'm Dorothy.
00:05And I'm Kip.
00:07And we have four children.
00:09Hi, I'm Melissa. I'm 18.
00:11I have three little sisters.
00:13Jessica's the oldest.
00:15Jennifer, seven.
00:18And Kristen, five.
00:20I don't like that!
00:22And all four of our children are hearing.
00:25Well, this is going to be an experience for me,
00:27working with deaf parents who have hearing children.
00:30Jennifer is very, very explosive.
00:35She's angry.
00:37Jessica, she's not as bad as Jennifer.
00:42But she's very sneaky.
00:45You pull hair all the time.
00:47Kristen, she's the baby of the family.
00:50Of course, the baby always gets what they want.
00:53Sometimes I feel like my sisters
00:57take advantage of my parents being deaf.
01:00You put that.
01:02No, you put that.
01:03That's not my father.
01:05My mom, she disciplines.
01:08But I don't think she disciplines them that well.
01:12Because they're devils.
01:14They don't listen.
01:16All three of the girls, they think that because we're deaf,
01:19they can be wild.
01:21I've got wild kids on my hands here.
01:23It's very stressful.
01:26Shaking.
01:28No!
01:29At bedtime, my sisters are crazy.
01:31They don't go to sleep on time.
01:34Kiss my butt.
01:35Let's do that.
01:36Mom, go over there.
01:37You are so a rat!
01:39Shit!
01:40No.
01:41What kind of bedtime is this?
01:43We do have challenges with communicating.
01:49Jessica knows some sign language,
01:50but it's not fluent because my mom talks.
01:54Get off!
01:56Come on, get off!
01:58Don't get off the car!
02:00This is crazy.
02:02These parents are not even teaching their kids
02:04American Sign Language.
02:05How can they communicate properly?
02:07There's a little bit of a strange relationship
02:09between me and Kip.
02:10He's my stepdad.
02:11Sometimes we just stay away from each other.
02:13It's like he's not really involved in what I'm doing.
02:16This is really sad to see.
02:18I feel that I have a lot of responsibilities on me.
02:21Mom, how is it my responsibility?
02:23You're the mom, not me.
02:25I'm kind of like the hearing mother in a way.
02:27Stop!
02:28Crystal!
02:29Knock it off!
02:30These parents need to take responsibility
02:32of what's theirs.
02:33I feel like sometimes that I didn't really live
02:36a normal teenage life.
02:39I had to grow up really fast.
02:41You can leave, but you're going to bed early
02:43and you're not getting no snacks.
02:44I don't know.
02:45You can pick.
02:46I'll let you pick.
02:47I just want to be the sister.
02:49I want to be there for him, not the mother.
02:51It just isn't fair for this poor girl.
02:53I just feel like giving up with them,
02:57with the rules and discipline.
02:59We need help.
03:00We need your help, Super Nanny.
03:07Well, these parents certainly need my help.
03:10I better get on my way.
03:12Hello.
03:13Pleased to meet you.
03:14Pleased to meet you.
03:15Pleased to meet you.
03:16Come on.
03:17When I first saw Jo and she came into my home,
03:32I felt relieved to see her when she got there.
03:36So, I'll come up.
03:38Okay.
03:39Come on.
03:40I was welcomed very warmly,
03:42and I was very pleased to see that the interpreter
03:44was there already to help me be able to have
03:47full communication with his family.
03:49Who do we have here?
03:50This thing.
03:51I'm JoJo.
03:52And how old are you?
03:53Five.
03:54Five.
03:55I'm Jessica.
03:56You're Jessica.
03:57And how old are you, Jessica?
03:58Eight.
03:59You're eight.
04:00And you're...
04:01Jennifer.
04:02Hi, Jennifer.
04:03Pleased to meet you.
04:04Hi, Melissa.
04:05Pleased to meet you.
04:06That's Kip.
04:07So, today, I'm going to be observing your family.
04:08So, please just carry on.
04:09I wasn't in the house long when I saw a clear example
04:11of how the children ignore their own mother.
04:13They don't look at her facial expressions or her signs.
04:16Jackie.
04:17Jackie.
04:18Jackie.
04:19Jackie, Jackie.
04:20Jackie.
04:21The girls completely ignore their mum.
04:23She asked them to put their shoes away,
04:25and we just walked on by.
04:26Hi.
04:27Jackie, come.
04:28Come on.
04:29Where you going?
04:30It's easy to get away with the mother.
04:31She's very happy.
04:32I'm not going to be a child, but I'm not going to be a child.
04:33She's very happy with the mother.
04:34I'm not going to be a child.
04:35I'm not going to be a child.
04:36She's very happy with the mother.
04:37She asked them to put their shoes away, and we just walked on by.
04:40Hey!
04:41Don't you go?
04:42Come on.
04:43Where are you going?
04:44It's easy to get away with stuff because my mom and dad are deaf.
04:50Don't be begging.
04:52What were they doing down there?
04:55Jennifer's sister whispers, and I can't see what she's talking.
04:59Jennifer, I can't hardly read her lips because she covers her hands, see?
05:03I don't like for them to be talking behind my back like that.
05:06Some kids do speak behind their parents' backs.
05:09But because these parents are deaf, their kids do it right underneath their nose.
05:15No!
05:16And I think that's just disrespectful.
05:19Kristen!
05:20Kristen!
05:21And it's not just the older girls that disrespect mom.
05:24The younger girl, Kristen, does the same.
05:27Come on.
05:30You want some lunch?
05:32Kristen!
05:33Kristen!
05:34Kristen!
05:35Did you understand what your mom was saying?
05:40No.
05:41You know, not only do these kids choose to ignore their parents, but they don't know enough American Sign Language either.
05:49Because Melissa's very good at sign language, it means that her parents rely on her all the time.
05:57She becomes their interpreter 24-7.
05:59Stop hitting, Jessica.
06:00Jessica, stop.
06:01Right now.
06:02Do you want me to put this away?
06:03No!
06:04No!
06:05Pick this up.
06:06Who's is it?
06:07Jessica?
06:08Come here.
06:09Why?
06:10Because I said, come pick this up.
06:13I could see that Melissa's in a very difficult situation.
06:17So I wanted to have a little talk with her just to see how she's holding up.
06:20What does it feel like for you, as an 18-year-old, having the responsibility of taking care of your three younger sisters?
06:30I just feel bad because they don't listen to my mom, but they'll listen to me.
06:33Well, I'm interested in what it makes you feel.
06:36I get overwhelmed.
06:38Yeah.
06:39Sometimes.
06:40Let's talk about this in your room.
06:43Melissa's had a responsibility, like a third parent, and that's a lot for her to handle as a young adult.
06:50I mean, she's 18 years old.
06:52I just think it'd be, like, it'd be really good for us to be able to communicate if we're all on the same page, you know?
07:00So the biggest thing that your parents could do for you right now would be what?
07:03Just take care of my sisters, and I just want what's best for my sisters.
07:08But, like, help me out, too, in a way, you know?
07:14Just be there for me when I need them.
07:17I don't even have time to be a kid anymore.
07:20Like, that's over.
07:21I don't even have time.
07:22So what you're really saying, even though that you're an 18-year-old woman, and you hold down two jobs, and you earn your own dollar,
07:29inside there's just still this little girl that wants to be held, huh?
07:33Really?
07:34Huh?
07:35Seriously?
07:36An 18-year-old?
07:37Huh?
07:38Yeah.
07:39You still want to be able to reach out to your mum and go, Mum, this is how I'm feeling.
07:42Huh?
07:43Yeah.
07:44Hmm?
07:45Well, we're going to work on this together.
07:53Kip has been Melissa's stepfather for nine years.
07:56And for those nine years, it's been very strained.
07:59I wanted to talk to him and find out more.
08:01Do you have a relationship with Melissa that is...
08:06No, I really don't.
08:08You don't have one.
08:09We just don't get along.
08:11She says she hates me.
08:13Yeah, it hurts me.
08:15I've got to admit, you know, I can sit alone and even cry about it, because there's no relationship between us.
08:21I do love her.
08:22I love Melissa.
08:23But she needs...
08:24We need our relationship, our family and our future.
08:28We just need to improve all of this.
08:30I appreciate that.
08:33It was in the afternoon when I got to talk to Kip, and I realized that the kids treat him just like they do their mother.
08:42Nobody listens.
08:44What's your dollar?
08:46Just close.
08:47Get that coat.
08:50I didn't give her permission.
08:51She didn't tell me where she was going.
08:53She's just going to go out and play.
08:54I can't understand what she's saying.
08:56It's hard.
08:58And they take off behind me, and I don't see them.
09:00They don't come up to me.
09:01They don't tell me.
09:02This family situation is not uncommon.
09:05Over 90% of deaf parents have children who are hearing.
09:13Later on in the evening, the whole family sat down for dinner, and Kristen decided she didn't want green beans on her plate.
09:19Help me!
09:21Leave the girl.
09:23No, leave her.
09:24No!
09:25Leave.
09:26I can't leave.
09:27No!
09:28Mom had finally had enough, so she decided to give Kristen a time out.
09:35Okay.
09:36You go with time out.
09:37No!
09:38I'm for Christmas!
09:39Time out.
09:40No!
09:41She's going to time out.
09:42Okay, then.
09:43I have to go in the time out today.
09:45Poo-hoo.
09:46Thank you, lovely.
09:47Mom.
09:48Mom!
09:49Mom!
09:50Mom!
09:51Mom!
09:52Mom!
09:53Mom!
09:54Mom had finally had things under control, and then Melissa walked in.
09:58Mom!
09:59Mom!
10:00Melissa!
10:01Melissa walked in and straight away went over to Kristen and said, right, let's sit down and finish your dinner.
10:08I'm going to come sit down.
10:10I haven't ate yet.
10:11Do you want to eat with me?
10:12No.
10:13I'm going to eat.
10:14I'm eating too.
10:15And Melissa automatically overrode her mom's decision.
10:18And mom didn't do anything about it.
10:20I brought something home if you eat all your dinner.
10:23There really needs to be much said with regards to these parents stepping up so Melissa feels
10:29that she can step back down.
10:32What time is bedtime?
10:36Nine o'clock.
10:38Kip tells the girls to go to bed at nine o'clock.
10:41So bedtime in the Ballish family is incredibly late, to say the least.
10:46Dad, go back.
10:47Mom!
10:48Come here.
10:49Doctor.
10:50No.
10:51Go back.
10:52You're not the boss.
10:53Where's the...
10:54Starboard.
10:55Doctor, go.
10:56Mom!
10:58So they're up and down the hallway, and mom and dad are up and down the hallway.
11:02He's going...
11:05And you just see this classic example of three little girls saying, great, we've got mom
11:11dad's time.
11:12Stop.
11:13And the only way we're going to continue to have their attention and time is if we're naughty.
11:17So hey, bingo.
11:18We know what to do.
11:19Dad!
11:20Stop.
11:21Stop.
11:22Mom was absolutely exhausted.
11:29Dad was getting more and more frustrated.
11:32And you could see that this was a bubble that was about to burst.
11:36And this went on for like over two hours.
11:38How are you feeling right now?
11:40It's stress.
11:41It's just stress.
11:42Please don't listen.
11:43Please don't listen.
11:44It became too much for mom.
11:45She was very frustrated.
11:47Sit down.
11:48Mom!
11:49I can't coffee!
11:50What the hell?
11:51I became angry.
11:53I felt like it just kept building and building and I was going to blow.
11:57I was going to blow my hair off.
11:58Oh, good hell.
11:59Oh, good hell.
12:02Oh, good hell.
12:04Oh, good hell.
12:05Oh, good hell.
12:07Oh, good hell.
12:08Please, please, please.
12:10I just need your help.
12:11You'll get my help.
12:12We'll get to the bottom of this.
12:14get to the bottom of this okay take a mum was so frustrated and i knew i could help her
12:24i just couldn't wait for the next day so i could get teaching
12:38the next morning i went to the bolish household and had a meeting with an interpreter behind
12:43me so today really what i want to do is to discuss the issues that i feel need to be addressed
12:53so that we can work really hard in finding a resolution to these problems let's talk about
12:59communication in every angle of your family dynamic communication has broke down how do you do the best
13:08you can as a parent when your kids are not learning american sign language the girls do know some
13:16signs but sometimes they drop the sign and they they leave us parents out because we don't understand
13:23them clearly i want to help them i want to teach them i want to sit down with the asl book and teach
13:29them no they just take off they don't want to pay attention they don't want to listen it's mandatory
13:35this isn't an option let's talk about behavior here the kids behavior is disrespectful
13:43they take advantage of the fact that you are both deaf they think oh well mom dad can't hear
13:50but it's not the point that you can't hear it's the point that actually your kids are growing up to
13:54feel that it's okay to even talk to their parents the way that they do and right now
14:00we've got two parents who want to throw the towel in who want to give up there are no expectations set
14:07up for these kids because you've taken that away from yourselves when you decided to place melissa
14:13in an authoritative figure in this house the kids do listen to melissa she's hearing i think they respect
14:21her more i think it's it's clear she's strict i know we're parents but i think being deaf that doesn't
14:27make you any less apparent because you are deaf i feel so tired and i do give up and i do want to go
14:34to melissa and say help and she says no you know why won't you cooperate you're the sister help mom and
14:41me and she gets tired and she doesn't want to kip melissa shouldn't have to you are the parents here
14:49let's talk about melissa i spoke to her yesterday i couldn't even see her face she cried so much
15:00she wants to reach out to the pair of you as parents she's really in a lot of pain
15:05you know i want to go out with melissa and have fun and play around but she gets so angry with me
15:11she just disagrees with everything i say we go back to arguing and i say let's forget it i i do love
15:18you let's have a relationship you know clean up the house you know work with the kids you know i'll
15:24help you you help me she's been helping more than enough she's been helping you raise your kids
15:32as she is meant to be one of your kids let's talk about bedtime ridiculous and you'll push over the
15:44pair of you you've got to be firmer at bedtime but you've got to set up a routine that allows
15:50these children to wind down change can happen here in this house and it can happen it can happen
15:58today okay give me your hands then because together we make change okay you know so i promise and i
16:05look forward to starting some work okay thank you i had a lot to teach these parents it was about
16:16prioritizing and establishing the house rules first i'm going to make sure that melissa's not around
16:22so that these parents can be parents you can see it up there this is the sign for behavior i want
16:29you guys to do the same watch it mom let's start off with the first one sharing and respecting
16:38your belongings and others i went through a list of what's acceptable and what isn't
16:44and the kids gave me sign language of yes when they understood look at mum and dad when they are
16:50speaking to you it was the first time that we had rules because we never ever had rules oh melissa
17:01i'm glad you're here just signing yes is not enough for these kids they need to become fluent with
17:07american sign language so at this particular moment i wanted to make sure that they could
17:12start to learn and i wanted melissa around for this what's going to happen is that every day
17:19there is going to be a class that's going to be held by mum or dad so that you start to learn more and
17:25more asl these kids are not going to learn american sign language overnight but if the parents make it
17:31fun then the kids will be motivated to learn
17:46i hope that someday they'll be very proficient in the language and you know we'll just understand each
17:50other so much better flower i felt it was you know a really good class for this family to have and i do
17:58believe that if they're consistent these kids are going to catch on really really quickly girls you
18:02did really well today you just stayed focused and you were watching mum which was really important
18:09and you guys did well learning american sign language for this family is going to change
18:18their communication for the better but it's certainly not going to help the rift between melissa
18:24and kip should we sit down here can we all sit down here this girl certainly needs to be heard and
18:29she needs their parents to be able to listen to her and together they need to be able to problem solve
18:34these issues because they've been building up for many many years i feel that it's really important
18:40that you have a conversation with melissa so to have this family just for once and all sit down and talk and
18:47clear the air is going to be vital can you go through some of the true feelings that you're
18:51feeling right now you do everything for his kids and you don't even help me with anything
19:02oh i help you i help you with everything you know as i do graduation i've helped you with things not
19:07before i've helped you with things i have to listen listen listen i've tried melissa please pay
19:16attention i went to take you i wanted to take you on vacation you said no you know you always talk
19:21about it you always talk you never do it every time i say oh let's go out shopping let's go out
19:26shopping no kip kip kip kip no he'll give that no money i don't have no money every time i'm at work
19:32oh you go out to eat out to eat out to eat no shut up shut up it wasn't successful and melissa was
19:42very very angry she just she's had a bucket full i mean it's over her head melissa get off of me
19:53melissa melissa she doesn't know melissa ran out because she thought it'd be a waste of time talking
20:01to her mom because her mom has never validated how she's felt the thing is you're not talking to
20:10somebody who knows she doesn't know that's the difference after melissa ran out on the conversation
20:22with her mom and stepdad i convinced her to come back inside the house but only under one condition
20:28would she do so i don't feel comfortable having the conversation in front of kip that i have with
20:33my mom okay i don't like that okay so you know what we could do we could have this conversation with you
20:38and your mom to start the ball rolling in patching things up i knew it was important for melissa to
20:43talk to her mom first and we could always deal with kip afterwards okay it's like all you want
20:51is everything for your kids you want my help only if i'm babysitting or to clean the house to be your
20:58maid or something when i'm home i don't get treat treated with respect
21:09i had no idea some of these things that she had been feeling and holding in i feel like it's uh
21:20you know it all this time had passed and i wish she had told me you know a long time ago what i'd
21:25like to do now dorothy is talk to you about what you should be doing as a mother and i want you to take
21:31it on the chin dorothy needs to be strong enough as a mother to support her daughter emotionally when
21:39you met kip it made melissa feel threatened by that would i lose the closeness of my parent because now
21:49she is going to be loving somebody else as well that is a very shaky world for a young child and so
21:57it's created the hostility that you see between kip and melissa melissa has been holding a lot in
22:05and she's my daughter and i cherish her her needs are important to me if she needs her mom i want her
22:12to come to me i want to talk i want to communicate so where do we go from here we'll start from this
22:17point forward anything you need come to me i'm not going to give up on you i'm not going to give up on
22:22you i'm with you for life after our conversation we then went and found kip but melissa could see
22:35exactly how upset kip was from the events of the day i'm trying to make it better you can't give up
22:41if i not give up you can't why is it important for him not to give up because i love you
22:48that's why it's important because you love him deep down i know he loves me i know i love him and he
22:59does care for me we needed that hug and i felt like we needed to communicate
23:07when you're deaf you can't hear your kids playing up so i gave them tv monitors to be
23:18able to see exactly what was going on over night time one in your and jennifer's room and one in
23:23jessica's room okay two screens one for mum and one for dad it's time for bed when you've kissed
23:32some good night then come into the sitting room with me and then i have further information to
23:37give you it was absolutely wonderful to see kip and dorothy very enthusiastic
23:46whilst kip was finishing up with jessica it was important for me to go through the bedtime
23:50technique with mum when you see your children come out of their bedroom you're going to say time for bed
23:56darling the second time they come out of their bedroom you sign to them with your face looking
24:02more serious it's bedtime the third time when they come out of their bedroom and then on you say
24:09nothing you take them by the hand and you place them back into their bed step number one kristen's up
24:15you keep coming out of the bedroom snow bear i can't sleep
24:22it's bedtime darling when mum told the kids to go back to bed she meant business and they knew exactly
24:28what she meant and she comes back out again you say it's bedtime say nothing else
24:42i was really proud of mum i mean she was following the steps perfectly but the girls weren't done yet
25:08the key to this bedtime technique is being persistent you've got to follow through with
25:19these kids coming up and down up and down you just got to keep at it it's important for these parents
25:26to band together to work together as a team because mum was getting completely wiped out
25:31so do what you would normally do you know sit on the sofa put the telly on do what you would normally
25:39do okay they mustn't think that you're waiting around for them to make the next move you're getting
25:44on with your evening this is what you wanted you wanted an evening yes kip wonderful tonight you sat on
25:55her bed you read her that story it really was beautiful it was cool that my dad read my story
26:01because i haven't had it in years what's happening there
26:10i can see him i can see both arms christian's moving around with the new tv monitors it means
26:16that dorothy and kip can keep a real good eye on their kids so they're not horsing around in their bedrooms
26:21oh it's calm it would take me three hours in the past to get them to go to bed it was a struggle for
26:28three hours now it's less than an hour this is perfect the technique worked because i had two parents
26:37who remained calm and that's what got you the change of behavior did really really well peace
26:43look at this that's universal peace in any language so i'm gonna be leaving for several days now thank
26:51you so very much in helping us we'll see you in three days you are more than welcome know that tonight
26:58you proved to yourselves that you're more than capable of doing what's been taught over the last
27:02several days good night good night it was a busy day it had its ups and downs i just hope that they
27:09pull through the days that i'm not going to be there
27:21i've been away for three days and i'm eager to see exactly how well this family have done
27:24um eager to look at what we have here yes we are all right happy happy i do me
27:45write it down
27:46oh where where where where tie see we all got that's really fantastic you know you've made it
28:00fun for the kids to learn asl and so they're going to want to come and do it again and again with you
28:06you know and that's what it's all about and i just love your whole body language it spoke volumes there kip
28:12you know you're really playing with them and teasing them showing them the cards you know
28:16just great and the kids really enjoyed themselves so keep it up well done keep it up i mean it's
28:22absolutely brilliant it really is
28:26well they went right to sleep
28:56so tell me kip what have the evenings been like for you uh i feel so much better i just feel at
29:07peace everything is calmer i mean you know it's like taking a break or something i'm so happy
29:13this is good for me and i really want to thank you joe you're more than welcome more than welcome
29:19i'm just shocked that our kids went to bed and it worked i feel so relaxed i just feel happy it's
29:26been wonderful it's healthy for your family yeah yes it is of course it is
29:31like we had to walk here though
29:42i was pretty much the parent for three of three that a whole week and a half i was 17 at the time
30:1317 didn't go to school half the time i i was here i was a wreck it was bad
30:20you know at the time she was 17 my father watched the kids for a week while she was you know they
30:31were here and kip's sister was here for four days and they spent the night in their house for four days
30:38you know it wasn't like that melissa didn't stay all week like that okay well it's obviously stirred some
30:44reaction from her in being worried about that history here shows me that she's had to take
30:49care of that responsibility and because there's not been enough history laid down with her seeing
30:54her own parents get to grips with discipline that trust still needs to be developed you know so right
31:01now to even bring up the thought of doing that when she sees the ground still quite crumbled and not
31:06laid smooth and flat yet is rather scary for melissa those words of just being able to take her away
31:13and say to her hold on a minute don't panic this is where we're at right now so it is something that
31:19we are going to have to talk about i think it's going to be important for you know us to sit
31:24around the table and have this conversation with melissa it takes time to build you know it takes time
31:28to build yeah i think you've seen very clearly what you need to work on but there's been some great
31:35stuff there as well yes it's very clear it's very clear and uh rome wasn't built in a day so let's move
31:41on and do what we need to do today in order to patch these things up yeah yes we're going to keep it going
31:48well we're going to fight for this okay so let's get going
31:55when reinforcement began i wanted the girls to realize they're going to continue to learn the
32:00basics of american sign language but doing so it's going to be fun we're going to play a game with the
32:05kids these are the rules to the game each child has to take their turn and roll the dice the dice will
32:13determine whatever number it lands on the amount of steps they will take forward
32:21if they get the sign correct jennifer you start okay dad
32:27that's right well done all right
32:37okay and you worked that's right that's right okay kristin three three good
32:47just that's right the ballish family need to keep thinking of creative ways of making american
32:54sign language fun the more they can do that the more the communication gets better
33:01mad all right one two it was cute to see the girls having fun with no fighting and at the same time
33:09they're learning american sign language two okay jessica dad
33:15they've certainly learned a lot whilst i've been there and these kids can see the light at the end
33:22of the tunnel recognizing that their parents are willing to want to spend time with them
33:33you're the winner it was so neat to see my three girls there
33:37i just think it's going to teach them so much sign language they were all happy all right good
33:43sportsmanship give each other a hug come on everybody give each other a hug
33:46that was a good game do you like that game that was a good game
33:57after the dice game there was still one more issue to deal with and that was to get melissa to tell
34:02her parents exactly how she felt about them going on a cruise i feel when you plan go on the cruise
34:13all you think about is the cruise you not think about us you not call us nothing i did everything
34:23i go to school i went to work it was i don't like it i can't i can't do that i'm too much stress
34:35just the fact that she was able to tell me that you know i was happy about that but
34:40but it really hit me it really hurt me
34:52but not for one week
35:05advantage take advantage of me as your daughter i feel happy that you told me how you felt
35:15and what's going on how you feel like that it's time for change from this point on she's not going
35:21to be a mother figure she's going to be the sister you know i have taken that off her shoulders that's
35:27my you know burden to carry now i love you too i love you she got a lot out of it and i learned
35:36that i needed to communicate with her more i just want us to be happy as a family let's not think about
35:42the past let's let's start new yes every day every day new it took so much off my shoulders i felt
35:53i felt great for them to actually just to hear him say okay yeah i'll take responsibility as a parent
36:00conversation conversation i'm glad it ended with them hugging each other and and laughing and that's
36:08how it should be you know but listen jojo is going home now okay and i just wanted really to say to the
36:20pair of you that it's important to continue doing the work that you're doing i'll keep it up and i'll
36:25keep it going you must you know you must it's very important otherwise that breakdown in communication
36:32will be there again both dorothy and kip have realized that if they want positive results and a
36:38change of behavior they've got to recognize how they change it themselves first just follow through
36:43and keep doing it all right it's a matter of just keep keep on doing it before joe arrived i was so
36:51stressed out i had given up and then joe offered me a chance to change and to become a new mom
36:58and you take care of yourself huh and and let your parents know what you need okay today i'm really
37:06proud of you just turn it around i just want to thank joe for everything she's done for my family
37:13she's brought in me and my mom and my dad's relationship so much closer it's been a wonderful
37:21experience it really worked by the bed in your own room i certainly feel that when i first arrived in
37:28this family the lid had popped open and it was almost like everybody had permission to just let
37:34off steam and i feel through being able to really support each family member and bring them all
37:40together has allowed them really to push through those hard times i just needed to thank her she has
37:50helped me so much i mean 100 i feel like i've learned from her bye kim bye bye i'm thankful to joe
37:58i believe that she has helped us a lot
38:03bye loveys thank you for helping my family w i thank them for being brave enough in allowing me
38:10to bring me into their home and to really explore the challenges that they face every day
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