- anteontem
As the parents had 10 kids, they force 15-year-old Logan to act like a dad. He is stressed out and has had a panic attack once. He just feels that raising his 9 siblings is a hard job to do.
Categoria
📚
AprendizadoTranscrição
00:00Hi, we're the Costello family.
00:02I'm Amy.
00:03And I'm Dale.
00:04And we have 10 kids.
00:05Logan is 15.
00:07Harley is 14.
00:08Chaslyn, who is 12.
00:10Joelle is 9.
00:1211.
00:1311.
00:14Corbin, who is 7.
00:179.
00:18Corbin is 9.
00:19Addison, who is 7.
00:21Nolan, 5.
00:22Bryson, 3.
00:23Cameron, who?
00:24And Keaton, who is 8 months.
00:26My words, 10 kids.
00:28One more, that's a football team.
00:33Which one are you going to do?
00:35One new one.
00:35My dream in growing up was I always wanted 12 kids
00:40to live in the home with the white picket fence.
00:42And for the most part, I filled the majority of my dream.
00:45Did you hear that?
00:47Cameron, come on.
00:48I drive a truck over the road, and I might take off on a run.
00:51I'm gone for at least three days, maybe four.
00:54Could wind up being gone for a week, you know?
00:56That's enough.
00:58I'm going to quit it.
00:59When Dale's home, it's harder in some ways,
01:02because when he's home, it totally
01:04throws the routine off for me.
01:06Come on.
01:07Stop it.
01:09Maybe there's more chaos when he's here,
01:12even alone with the kids.
01:14Come on.
01:15They're not looking at my kids.
01:16Yeah, you want to push it.
01:17The difference between parenting 1 and parenting 10
01:21is the first one gets all of your attention.
01:25When you have 10, you're stretched a whole lot more.
01:28Chaslin, get down here.
01:30Now.
01:31Who else was doing it?
01:32It's wild.
01:33It's like a three-ring circus.
01:35Come on.
01:36Christy, give it up.
01:37Sit up.
01:38No, you didn't.
01:39Oh my gosh, Dad.
01:40Hey, hey.
01:42Every day, I feel like I get to the breaking point.
01:44Everybody's got to chip in and help.
01:47These kids need a little bit more direction.
01:49We do put faith in the older kids to help out
01:51with the younger kids.
01:52Carly, pick up.
01:53Come on down this side.
01:54Mom, there is none down this side.
01:55Open your eyeballs.
01:56Carly, she does not like to help out around the house.
01:59She does not like to lend a hand.
02:01You've got to keep an eye on it.
02:02I know, Mom.
02:03She's a very quiet, reserved person,
02:05and a lot of times reacts very negatively
02:07to having to watch her brothers and sisters.
02:09I know, Mom.
02:10She's a very quiet, reserved person,
02:12and a lot of times reacts very negatively
02:14to having to watch her brothers and sisters.
02:17Corbin, Corbin.
02:20Her eyes say all.
02:23I only am on your bed.
02:24I'm you, Ken.
02:25Get your shoes on.
02:27Logan is the oldest, so he carries a very difficult role
02:32in the family because when Dale's gone,
02:34he has to be a fill-in for me and be my biggest helper.
02:38Get down.
02:38Well, then you ask for help.
02:40Look at this 15-year-old.
02:41Look.
02:42He's acting like a dad.
02:44Get your shoes on.
02:45Corbin, let go.
02:46Corbin, let go of him.
02:47Nolan, let's go.
02:49I'll clean a bathroom if you clean a bathroom.
02:51It's hard for him to take on a big responsibility,
02:54act more like an adult, because he wants to have his own space.
02:59He has to watch younger kids, and he kind of sighs.
03:04Why can't a teenager be a teenager?
03:09Supernanny, we could really use you in our household.
03:12What's supposed to be on it?
03:13We'd just like some order.
03:17Supernanny, please hurry.
03:19We have 10 kids, and we really need your help.
03:23Enough is enough.
03:24Hang on in there, Mom and Taz.
03:25And hey, kids, I'm on my way.
03:27Well, hi there.
03:28How you doing?
03:29Nice to meet you.
03:30I'm Dale.
03:31Hi.
03:32Come on in.
03:34That's my wife, Amy.
03:35Hi, Amy.
03:36Hi.
03:37Good to meet you.
03:38Hi, Amy.
03:39Hi.
03:40This is the biggest family that I've ever helped, and oh, yeah.
03:42It's going to be an adventure.
03:42Well, this is a very large family, to say the least.
03:45To have Joe come in to my house and observe us was a little bit unnerving because, of course,
04:09nobody ever wants criticism, so, you know, we all think we're perfect.
04:13You don't need to hit, Chaslyn.
04:16No, just get away from her.
04:17Stop.
04:19Quit it.
04:20No.
04:21Typically, Dad being a truck driver means that he's only home a few days a week.
04:27But from what I can see, when he is home, he's not very supportive.
04:31He doesn't do much.
04:33Guys, can you stop that?
04:36Yeah.
04:37I think the kids have lost some respect in listening to him or obeying him when he's
04:43home.
04:44Why don't you go stand in the corner?
04:46Yes.
04:47Yes.
04:48I don't think he knows how to handle the kids, and they don't listen to him as much as my
04:53mom.
04:54Let's go.
04:55Then my dad leaves somewhere, like not the house, but he's always somewhere else,
05:00like outside in the garage.
05:01It seems to me that mom's just given up asking dad to help out with the kids.
05:07Why don't you feel like you can put this one down and take him over there?
05:12Because it ends up with a fight in there between like he and Bryson or whatever, so I'll end
05:16up just taking him back anyways.
05:18Well, why can't Dad deal with it?
05:20He, he, I, I, sometimes I just don't think he, I just don't think he does deal with it.
05:25But there is enough of a family member that she relies on to help her.
05:28I saw that Logan was given the task to look after the kids with mom.
05:37I mean, he is Mr. Mom.
05:38We're going to be gone for a little bit.
05:42Logan is in charge.
05:43In submission, I had seen that Logan helps out a lot with the kids.
05:48So what I did was send mom and dad out so I could see exactly how Logan manages those
05:53kids.
05:54He gets kind of frustrated when the kids are misbehaving when mom and dad are out.
06:09Get out of the office.
06:11I don't really enjoy watching over that many kids at one time.
06:15It's just too stressful.
06:16Yeah.
06:17It's too chaotic.
06:18Corbin?
06:19Corbin?
06:20Shazlin, get out.
06:22Corbin?
06:23Corbin?
06:24Corbin?
06:25Stop.
06:26Stop.
06:27How about you?
06:28Drop.
06:29Corbin, just, just go.
06:31You.
06:32Why don't you go upstairs?
06:33By the time mom and dad got back, Logan was absolutely numb from having to take care of
06:39his kids.
06:40He's stressed out.
06:41I was really eager to talk to Logan and so I had a conversation with him that really
06:47spoke volumes.
06:48You're like a manny, a nanny.
06:51Yeah.
06:52Okay, so when does Logan get to hang out with his buddies and just chill?
06:57Not very often.
06:58Really?
06:59This 15-year-old doesn't get a chance to be a 15-year-old and hang out with his friends.
07:04So he is robbed of his teenage years at the moment.
07:07He's got to be raising his siblings.
07:09Do you feel like it's your responsibility?
07:10No.
07:11I mean, they're not my kids.
07:12I mean, they're my brothers but they're not my kids.
07:14It's, I mean, I'm not the, I'm not a parent.
07:16It's not my responsibility to discipline them, to be watching them.
07:20Do you actually say to them or do you feel like you can't?
07:22It's my parents?
07:23Yeah.
07:24I don't, I don't, I don't think I feel like I can say that.
07:27I mean, it's kind of like, I've kind of stepped in there a little bit and my mom just
07:31kind of blows at me, just kind of, I mean, she really gets mad like, you know,
07:35it's your responsibility as the oldest.
07:37It's too much, sometimes to the point where it's like, you know, I've gotten sick over
07:44it.
07:45With migraines, panic attacks, I mean, what do you?
07:47I've had one panic attack before.
07:49Yeah.
07:50For a 15-year-old child to have this because the burden of the responsibility they're given
07:55at such a young age, to me is, is just not right.
08:00I do have thoughts, like, I've got to find somewhere else to go, you know, I'm out of here,
08:05because I shouldn't be living a life like this.
08:17So do all the kids play outside?
08:19Yes.
08:20And who takes care of them outside?
08:23Usually the older kids are supposed to keep an eye on the younger kids.
08:27Right.
08:28I went out to have a look.
08:30What do you like anymore?
08:33The kids were just roughhousing, but when mom saw what was going on, she just flew off
08:39the handle with Carly.
08:40You stop it!
08:41You know.
08:42I'm not doing anything.
08:43You're so beautiful.
08:44You stop it from happening.
08:46You're the oldest one out there.
08:47You don't just sit there and watch it.
08:49These parents are not taking on their responsibilities.
08:53Instead, they're allowing their teenage kids to take on the responsibilities that they should
08:59be doing.
09:00Me being 14 is hard because I have so much responsibility, like, with the kids.
09:06No, you don't want to help.
09:07No, you're not going back outside.
09:09You chose to come in.
09:10A while later, Carly and Chaslyn wanted to go outside, but mom was having none of it.
09:16They can't help outside, they can't help inside.
09:19That's what they do is what they want to do.
09:22But you're feeling what?
09:23What are you feeling?
09:24Well, I get mad at them because they're the, you know, second oldest, third oldest.
09:27You expect them to look after the kids outside, and they've not done that, and inside,
09:31and they're not doing that either.
09:32Right, and they can't do this either.
09:33Yeah.
09:34They can't do it.
09:35See?
09:36There they stand.
09:37Someone just got hurt.
09:38Well, because you were talking.
09:39Well, you know what?
09:40Right now, I need to take a breather.
09:42I think for the first time in doing this Super Nanny show, I bit my tongue and I had to walk out.
09:47Yeah.
09:48I was angry.
09:50I was angry.
09:51I was very angry.
09:54This mother has ten kids.
09:57It's her responsibility to make sure that her children are safe.
10:01How can she have a go at these children for not babysitting the kids when they're kids themselves?
10:11So I actually sneaked upstairs to speak to Carly and Chaslyn to find out exactly what had happened.
10:18What mum had to say, what do you feel about that?
10:20I'm really angry because I do help out with her and I do watch the kids when I'm out there.
10:28My mum doesn't know, like, half the thing that's going on around here.
10:31Carly's very upset and she's angry because I don't feel that these children feel they can say what they really do feel.
10:39If she knew how you felt, do you think she would give you time of day just to be able to reach out and give you a hug?
10:47Look, the fact is, mum and dad chose to have ten kids, but the older ones are paying the price for that because they're neglecting them.
10:58If mum and dad don't start talking to these kids, then they're going to start moving further and further away from them at a crucial time in their life.
11:07For most of the day, dad wasn't involved with the kids, but then Corbin started to irritate him and we saw a different side of dad.
11:17What are you writing, Corbin? What are you writing, Corbin?
11:21She wrote me.
11:22Why don't you throw it away?
11:24Throw it away.
11:25Throw it away, Corbin.
11:27Corbin, throw it away.
11:28It's her nose.
11:29Throw it away now.
11:30It's her nose.
11:31Throw it away now.
11:32Throw it away now.
11:33It's fine.
11:34I didn't do...
11:35I mean, it's not mine.
11:36Throw it away now.
11:37Dad had hardly grumbled all day and then all of a sudden, dad flew off the handle.
11:44I mean, it's very unsettling.
11:48Later on in the day, I did have a chance to talk to mum about the obvious family planning.
11:54It's unbelievable to me that this lady still wants two more kids to make 12 when she's seriously struggling with the 10 that she has already.
12:04It's crazy.
12:05You had this dream.
12:06I did.
12:07Of wanting 12 kids.
12:08Yeah.
12:09You're at 10 now.
12:10So, are you going to go for the other two?
12:13You know, I would like to.
12:16Yeah.
12:17But, you know, I think that's Dale and I are at different stages.
12:21Dale just had his 50th birthday and I think he's just realising, you know, I'm 50, I'm getting older.
12:26So, I think we haven't, he and I haven't come to the agreement with that yet.
12:31So, you're having safe sex at the moment?
12:32No.
12:33No.
12:34Oh, right, okay.
12:35So, you could end up coming, you could have another one then?
12:37If it happens, it happens.
12:39These parents are not resolving this conversation and at the same time, they are sexually active and they're not being responsible.
12:46What happens?
12:47The inevitable.
12:48Then what?
12:53I'm off for the evening.
12:54Okay.
12:55We'll see you tomorrow morning.
12:56Show up.
12:57Okay.
12:58And we'll have a good family meeting.
12:59Night-night, sweetie.
13:00Oh, look at him.
13:01He's absolutely knackered.
13:02I'm eager to come back tomorrow because these parents are going to get as stiff talking to.
13:06There are some serious issues here.
13:16After all I've seen yesterday, I need to get straight to the point.
13:23Good morning.
13:26Let's talk about Logan.
13:27He's 15 years old.
13:29He can't even be a kid.
13:31He can't even hang out with his friends as a 15-year-old because he's too busy playing dad around the house.
13:39Logan, do this.
13:40Logan, do that.
13:41Logan, take the children.
13:42The boy has had a panic attack.
13:44Ever had one of them?
13:45No?
13:46No.
13:47The first thing you think when you have one is that you're dying.
13:52Is that fair?
13:54No.
13:56Right now, you're in cuckoo land, the pair of you.
13:59You're in cuckoo land.
14:04You know, Carly really needs to be able to talk to you.
14:07She needs to be able to look up to you.
14:11What do you want her to take from you?
14:13I would hope Carly would be able to say, you know, my mother inspired me because she understood me, because she lifted me up, because...
14:22Do you honestly think she could say that right now?
14:25I don't think right now she could say that.
14:27No.
14:29But you know what?
14:30If we were to be really truthful, you probably didn't have a mum that said that with you, did you?
14:35Mm-mm.
14:36So, as a mother, why don't you take what you didn't have and give that to your daughter so that they can have?
14:47So that your daughter doesn't have to grow up and have loads of babies to get the same needs met.
14:52Right?
14:53Mm-hmm.
14:54What are we going to do?
14:55Make a big change.
14:56Just let her kids be kids.
14:57Just let them have fun.
14:58If what I've had to say today has touched a raw nerve, then I know I'm talking to two parents who've got feeling.
15:17And that's a good thing, because that means we can work on all of that.
15:25Okay.
15:36The first thing I do need to do is to sit down and have a frank conversation with mum and dad about family planning.
15:42Because it's obvious they're not talking.
15:45We brought up in the meeting the importance of becoming more consciously aware of your family planning.
15:51And I do think that's something that needs to be spoken about and something that needs to be resolved.
15:56It was nice to have somebody like a third party, kind of like a mediator.
16:01I'm happy with 10.
16:04Okay.
16:05I do feel like I can't, you know, take care of them like I should or tend as much attention as I should.
16:11I just always wanted a large family.
16:13I always wanted a dozen.
16:14I love kids.
16:15It is hard for me to hear Dale say, um, enough is enough.
16:20I understand your view.
16:21I, you know, my dream was my dream and I'm not, you're not going to take it away.
16:26It's painfully obvious that mum wants to fulfil her dream of having a dozen kids and she doesn't care how she gets number 12 or what has to be sacrificed as long as she gets number 12.
16:40You said that your dream was your dream and nothing's going to stop you.
16:44That just means you can't take away my dream.
16:46I can always have my dream whether or not it's fulfilled or not.
16:49I can always have my dream.
16:50I'm allowed.
16:51Don't pop it.
16:52I'm not.
16:53He's not.
16:54You're taking it personally.
16:55Well, why should, you know, that's his opinion.
16:59I'm allowed to mine.
17:00I don't agree with that.
17:01Everybody has dreams, but you've got to be realistic with some of those dreams as well.
17:07Okay.
17:08And I'm saying, you know, we're willing to make changes or at least I'm willing to make changes for that.
17:12And if I have to carry more of a burden, then I'm willing to do that.
17:16It's just not you carrying it though.
17:18Your kids are always going to carry it.
17:21And you have to be able to resolve that.
17:24You have to, otherwise it's irresponsible.
17:27It's obvious that they both want different things.
17:30But what I feel is very important is that they're actually talking now.
17:34And that's a good thing.
17:39I haven't really seen dad interact with the children.
17:42And I know mum doesn't fully trust dad to handle the children.
17:47So it was important for me to let mum go out so that she could see dad is capable of looking after the kids just for that short period of time.
17:55That one belongs to you, Logan.
17:58The green one I've got here belongs to yourself, Carly.
18:01But there is one catch.
18:02I've given the four elder children t-shirts to wear that say off-duty.
18:07So dad can't rely on them.
18:09Bye!
18:15As dad found out, looking after ten kids on your own is more than a handful.
18:19Why don't you go play with your brother?
18:22I'm going to warm up lunch.
18:23Come on.
18:24Come here.
18:25Come on.
18:26Come here.
18:27Come on.
18:32Nolan, get in here, buddy.
18:34Nolan.
18:35You hold it for one second.
18:37It's good.
18:38He's off-duty.
18:39OK.
18:40Stop!
18:41Nolan, get in here right now.
18:42What are you getting into?
18:43You know, dad did handle the kids with confidence and he did an OK job.
18:57But now I'm even more puzzled at why mum really deep down doesn't trust dad with the kids.
19:05Who is that?
19:06There she is.
19:07Pretty good.
19:08Now that dad's found this new confidence with the kids, what I want to be able to do is
19:19set up a technique so that the children realize that the parents appreciate them getting this
19:25quality time.
19:26What I want to do with this calendar is basically to jot down with the kids a particular event
19:33on a particular day that you guys know you can stick to.
19:37There are many times when the kids say, hey, you know, I'd like to go, go, go-kart.
19:41OK.
19:42Yeah, OK, let's go next week.
19:43And then it's just like, it's kind of like forgotten by us.
19:46Logan.
19:47What would you like to do?
19:49Hmm.
19:50It's take that chick out, isn't it?
19:52Hmm?
19:53It's that girl, isn't it?
19:54You want to take that girl out, right?
19:55To the cinema.
19:56Take that movie.
19:57Yeah.
19:58I put on the calendar going out with a friend, you know, ice skating.
20:01The last time I went out to live a regular 15-year-old's life, I can't even remember.
20:06Corbin, what are you going to do?
20:08Come on, man.
20:09Amazon or the movie?
20:10Amazon.
20:11What's Amazon?
20:12What's the Amazon?
20:13Like a play place where they have games and they have laser tag.
20:15There's no backing out of those calendar days because it's something that we promised
20:20them and I think, you know, the scar would be a deep scar, you know, if we didn't follow
20:24through with that.
20:25Okay, so let's pin this calendar up.
20:28I mean, I want these kids to know that we mean what we say.
20:31There's no time like the present and it's so important to give Carly that time with her
20:37mother that she's so desperately craving.
20:40Last time I ever did anything with my mom was like about a year ago.
20:48Sometimes she would say that me and her are going to go out like a mother-daughter thing.
20:53That never happened.
20:54Carly and Amy, let's go out.
20:59Joel, see you later.
21:00Are you here for your manicures and pedicures?
21:01Yes, we are.
21:02I like that dark one, Carly.
21:03Which one's your favorite?
21:04The dark blue one?
21:05Yeah.
21:06My mom and I went to the nail salon.
21:07It was fun having time to talk to her.
21:08Now you can bug mom to do this more often.
21:09Yeah.
21:10I think it was good that she and I had an opportunity to talk together and just enjoy even the quiet
21:15moments together.
21:16What do you think, Carly?
21:17Did that feel good?
21:18Yeah.
21:19I hope that the pair of them continue to have these little mother and daughter dates because
21:22it'd be healthy for the pair of them.
21:23This afternoon I have turned my attention to Logan so mom and dad can see exactly the undue
21:52burden that has been put on him looking after all of these kids.
21:56So we've got more work this afternoon for the pair of you.
21:59We're going to go into the other room here.
22:01Okay.
22:02Logan's afraid to speak to his parents so what I have done is set up a curtain so that
22:07he can freely express himself without feeling intimidated by mom and dad's reactions.
22:13I don't whine but the responsibilities, you know, have been a little too much.
22:19I don't want to seem like, you know, I can't handle him.
22:22I mean, I can just not for the time period that I've been.
22:27It makes me like angry and upset.
22:30Sometimes I just can't deal with it.
22:32You know, it just kind of gets me to the point where I just kind of want to walk off.
22:35What do you mean by walk off?
22:37Well, I guess leave.
22:40So you felt like running away from it all?
22:43Yes.
22:44And have you felt like you've been able to come to mom and dad and tell them that?
22:49Not so much.
22:53Del, I asked you to pull back the curtain.
23:02I did run away Logan when I was probably about 17.
23:08I felt as though that my dad really wasn't listening to me.
23:12I just want to keep the communication open.
23:15Just say, hey, we got to sit down and talk.
23:18I'll take the responsibility of the kids when I'm home rather than unload it on you.
23:24That's my job.
23:29I looked at Logan's face at the end of the discussion, and I did not see a sense of relief.
23:38And I knew what that was from.
23:41I have to speak up one other issue, too, that's been a huge source of contention.
23:47You know, that has honestly caused Logan to be in a situation that he shouldn't necessarily have to be in.
23:55And I think Dale knows what I'm getting at.
23:58This family had been holding back something from me whilst I was teaching,
24:04and now I was about to find out exactly what it was.
24:07Yeah, I was curious.
24:10I just felt like I owed it to both Logan and to Dale.
24:15As ugly as that skeleton is, I just felt like that was very important to bring out.
24:21I guess at first I was hoping it wouldn't come up.
24:25Everything else was brought up to Joe, so I thought, well, there's no sense of that being hidden.
24:31Drinking has been an issue.
24:34Dale uses that to help with his stress, forcing Logan to grow up and see things that he shouldn't have to see.
24:42When Joe's drinking, it gets out of hand.
24:45Things happen, and there have been a couple of times when he's actually had to go to the hospital.
24:49Logan and I have had to take all the kids to soccer games while Dad was in the back of the van, passed out.
24:55So alcohol for you led you in a place where your family became the victim of that as well, is that correct?
25:02OK.
25:03Yes.
25:04If Dad doesn't deal with his drinking problem promptly and directly, he's going to continue to affect this family.
25:16And that's no joke.
25:17This to me is a major breakthrough, because while you're prepared to suffocate yourself, you will take everybody else with you.
25:26I was glad that my mom brought the issue up with my dad.
25:30Now I hope that he does consider getting help for it.
25:33I'm sorry, OK?
25:35I do love you, OK?
25:43Don't ever forget, all right?
25:46The seriousness of Dad's drinking problem is affecting every member of this family.
25:53And this can only be changed by him.
25:56I'm actually going to go for several days.
25:59OK.
26:00It is time for me to leave this family and let them get on with what they've been taught.
26:06However, going away means that I can really start to look at solutions and get the proper information that's necessary in order to help Dad move forward.
26:17See you when I get back.
26:18OK.
26:19When I come back, I'm going to need to talk to Dad.
26:22More about the drinking issue and where he's going to take this now that everything's out in the open.
26:29Bye-bye.
26:30Bye-bye, dear.
26:31Bye-bye.
26:32So, I've been gone for a few days.
26:45You guys have been left to really get on with it without me.
26:48And what we're going to do is take a look at this so we know exactly what's going on here.
26:53I hate walking.
26:55I'll hold your hand, but if I fall, I'm going to let go.
26:57All right, ready?
26:58Ready?
26:59You got it.
27:00You got to hold it.
27:01OK, ready?
27:02Oh!
27:03Hey, this isn't so bad.
27:04This isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.
27:06Like that little girl, like, can, like, do, like, twirls and, like, skate backwards.
27:13I know, right?
27:14Don't show off.
27:15So what else is it now?
27:17Nothing.
27:18Nothing?
27:19Just a real boring day.
27:21I was really looking forward to this.
27:23Really?
27:24Yeah.
27:25Aw, that's so cute.
27:28I mean, really, I mean, what we're looking at here, we're looking at your teenage son having
27:32a chance to be a teenager.
27:34You know, he's got his little first love there and he's taking her out ice skating.
27:38That's cute.
27:39Really cute.
27:40Really nice.
27:41And really to the point that we realise the importance of Logan having that time.
27:47Just to do the things that he wants to be able to do like a normal teenager would do.
27:52So I'm very pleased to see that.
27:53I very much am.
27:55You can have some juice.
27:58I'll be back.
28:02Feet up.
28:03Here we go.
28:04Look.
28:05Look.
28:06Okay.
28:07I know.
28:08Oh, watch your legs.
28:09Here we go.
28:10Here we go.
28:11I want a hug.
28:12Ah!
28:13Back.
28:15Back.
28:16That's the nail, I tell you, right on the head there.
28:30You get a break.
28:31Yeah.
28:32That Logan's just chilling.
28:33That's funny.
28:34How sweet is that?
28:36What do you think about what you just saw right there?
28:38Yeah.
28:39What do you like about that?
28:40Yeah, just being out there with the kids.
28:42You know, just being the kids.
28:43Are you proud of that man you just saw?
28:45Yeah.
28:46Because that's you.
28:47I mean, seriously, Dale.
28:49Look what you are capable of doing.
28:52I hope this is a real eye-opener for you.
28:54Yeah, it is.
28:55You know, the man that you are.
28:57And there are certain things that you know what you need.
29:00A kick out the backside to get rid of so that you can continue being that father.
29:04Seriously.
29:05That's so rewarding to see.
29:08Absolutely.
29:09Let's take a look at the kids' concerns.
29:12Because I think it really elaborates on what I've just been talking about.
29:16I don't want people.
29:17I don't want them to go.
29:18I don't want them to go.
29:19I don't want them to go.
29:20I don't want them to go.
29:21I don't want them to go.
29:22I mean, I do so much.
29:23She just really gets it.
29:25And then my dad keeps going mad.
29:26She just gets it, like...
29:28She just begins to expect her.
29:30And what's going to happen when they leave?
29:35They have seen the changes.
29:42They want it to remain.
29:45And they're worried about that.
29:48In a way, it's them saying indirectly, please.
29:53Please find the strength for us.
29:56Please promise us that you'll do what you're supposed to do,
30:00because we expect you to provide safety for us, stability,
30:05for us to know that we can count on you.
30:08And if right now you go,
30:10where am I going to find the strength to do this for myself,
30:13then you know what?
30:14Find it for your kids right now.
30:15Find it for your kids.
30:16I have to do this for my kids.
30:19I want to do this for my kids.
30:21There's no room for you to recognise the beauty in raising the kids.
30:26Because your own critic was too busy wanting to put you down
30:29with the drink and stuff like that,
30:31so there's no room.
30:33Because the drink don't care about that.
30:35The drink don't want that.
30:36The drink wants to destroy everything.
30:42So these kids are going to need to know
30:44that you guys are willing to continue
30:49to make the effort and keep things the way that they are.
30:53So are we ready to create more stability for them?
30:56Yeah?
30:57Because we do want it, right?
30:58Mm-hm.
30:59Yeah?
31:00All right.
31:01Let's get on with some more work then.
31:03OK.
31:09Dad's drinking problem is affecting the family.
31:12We know that.
31:13I need to sit and talk to Dad about this
31:16and see if he really understands the consequence of that.
31:20Really, the abscess that had erupted
31:24and left all these surface issues
31:28that needed to be resolved.
31:30That's what I want to talk to you about now.
31:32OK?
31:33Because as I'm talking to you,
31:35I can smell alcohol on your breath.
31:37It's a major, major concern.
31:42And ultimately,
31:44everything that's been put in place here
31:47is going to drown.
31:50Right.
31:51I leave this family thinking,
31:52God, you know,
31:53if Del don't want this enough,
31:55then everyone's going to pay the price for that.
31:58You've got to want to change it.
32:02You've got to want things to be different.
32:06Do you think that you need help?
32:08I do.
32:09Guess I can't do without it.
32:11What?
32:12The alcohol.
32:15In a couple of days that I was off,
32:17I did some research.
32:18And even tonight,
32:21there's a support group that you could go to
32:23if you wanted to,
32:25if you wanted to get help.
32:27But if you want to,
32:29I'll tell you one thing,
32:30I'll come on the car journey with you.
32:32I'll come with you.
32:34OK.
32:35And you know what?
32:36If we get up to that door and you go,
32:38I can't do it,
32:39you know what?
32:40I ain't gonna judge you.
32:41You know,
32:42when somebody's offering you that kind of help
32:45and support,
32:46I mean, not a whole lot of people do that.
32:48I guess the reason why I don't sound too eager
32:50is because I'm ashamed.
32:51It means you're feeling.
32:53If you feel ashamed,
32:54it means that you've felt.
32:55You're not in denial.
32:56You know, Amy just asked me,
32:58well, if you had one legacy to leave to your kids,
33:01what would it be?
33:02And I said,
33:03I can't even...
33:05I can't even think.
33:07So you feel bad about it,
33:08but at least you've owned up.
33:09At least you turn around and go,
33:10you know what?
33:11I feel bad that I did this.
33:12But at least you're saying you know why.
33:14It's brought you that much closer as a family
33:16to feeling,
33:17you know what?
33:18Let's get help with this.
33:19Let's change this.
33:20I mean, to me,
33:21this is...
33:22This is so much bigger.
33:25Right.
33:26You got beer stashed in the house?
33:29No.
33:32Should we go and clear it out?
33:34Dad's been secretly drinking
33:36and hiding beer all around the house.
33:38And what we need to do first
33:40is to clear out that beer
33:41because it's dangerous.
33:42There are kids in that house.
33:48Where is that one?
33:49I took that one out already.
33:51One, two, three.
33:53For me, watching Dad collect all these beer cans,
34:06it was a clear illustration
34:09to the depth of this man's problem.
34:14All right, so now what do we do?
34:16First, tell my wife.
34:18All right.
34:19Right.
34:20Yeah.
34:21It took a lot of courage
34:22for this man to come clean,
34:24be accountable,
34:25and to take responsibility
34:27for his actions.
34:29And the first person
34:30that he wanted to talk to
34:32was his wife.
34:33Hey.
34:34I'm gonna go to a support group tonight.
34:36Can I eat?
34:37Yep.
34:38Good.
34:39And, uh...
34:40Joe's gonna ride with me.
34:41Okay.
34:43Okay?
34:44Good.
34:45Good.
34:46I'm sorry.
34:47Good for you.
34:50I'm sorry for lying.
34:51It's okay.
34:52No, it's not.
34:54He told me that he was gonna get some help
34:56for abuse of drinking,
34:58so that was a huge step for him.
35:02So...
35:04That's the first step.
35:05I know.
35:06That's what you need to do.
35:07I know.
35:08And then, of course,
35:09it was time for Dad to speak to the young man
35:12who had basically picked up the slack.
35:15Hey, Logan, come here for a minute.
35:17He's...
35:18He's a good kid.
35:19I...
35:20I kinda hate to see him have grown up
35:22as fast as he did.
35:23I'm gonna go ahead and...
35:25I'm going to...
35:26the support group tonight.
35:29All right?
35:30Okay.
35:31Good.
35:32I'm sorry for everything, okay?
35:34That's okay.
35:37I...
35:38I think my dad's taken a big step
35:39of trying to, you know,
35:40resolve his problems,
35:41and I really, uh...
35:43I'm proud of him.
35:49Ready?
35:50I'm gonna be taking Dad
35:51to his first meeting,
35:52and this is a huge step for him.
35:55I'll see you in an hour.
35:56Okay.
35:57All right.
35:59Bye-bye.
36:00Bye-bye.
36:01I was just glad to go in
36:02and just see other people
36:03in the same...
36:04same predicament,
36:05so I was like,
36:06well, I guess I'm not the only one.
36:08Hey, baby.
36:09How is Dale?
36:10Hey, dude.
36:11Yo.
36:12Hi, baby.
36:13How is Dale?
36:14Hey, man.
36:15I think it's very encouraging
36:16that Dale's family
36:18see him taking this first step
36:21because it's gonna allow them
36:22to feel that he's actually
36:23doing something about it.
36:25Amy just says to me,
36:26how did that do?
36:27What goes on?
36:28Ask him yourself.
36:29Ask him yourself.
36:30Tell me.
36:31He met a few people,
36:32about eight others in there.
36:34I guess I feel very,
36:36very happy that he did that
36:38because, again,
36:39that's a good first step
36:40in the right direction
36:41towards him healing himself.
36:43Did he feel good?
36:44Yeah.
36:45Were you glad you went?
36:46Yeah.
36:47Good.
36:48I am really proud
36:49that this family
36:50had the courage
36:52to open up the cupboard door
36:55on a really dark secret
36:58that they had been keeping
37:00for a very long time.
37:02I want a big group hug
37:03from all of you.
37:04Yeah.
37:05Come here, seriously.
37:06Ah!
37:07Squeeze it all in.
37:08Squeeze it all out.
37:09Squeeze it all out.
37:11I would say
37:12it is a happier house.
37:13I believe I am a better dad.
37:15Yeah, it's gonna be
37:16something I will continue.
37:17Okay.
37:18Mwah!
37:19Thank you so much.
37:20Yeah, okay?
37:21If Joe had not come here,
37:23I don't honestly know
37:24what would have happened.
37:25It could have led up
37:26to the kids and I leaving.
37:27It could have led up
37:28to premature death
37:30on Dale's part.
37:31You know,
37:32a lot of ugly things
37:33certainly could have happened.
37:35Come on, give me a hug.
37:36You're not too big for a hug.
37:37You're not too big for a hug.
37:39Huh?
37:40I hope that, you know,
37:41my dad continues to go
37:42to this group
37:43and I hope that, you know,
37:44we all start to get along better
37:45and we can work to become closer
37:48and, you know,
37:49enjoy each other a little more.
37:51It's okay.
37:52I love you.
37:53Take care.
37:54Take care of yourself, mate.
37:55Take care of yourself.
37:56Take care of your family.
37:57I just hope that this family
37:58continue to find the strength
38:00and the courage every day
38:02to move just a little step forward.
38:05We'll see you next time.
38:07Until next time.
38:08See you next time.
38:09Bye.
38:11Bye.
38:12We'll see you next time.
Recomendado
42:13
|
A Seguir
37:22
47:06