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00:00Well?
00:021,992.
00:04That's what it come to last time.
00:06Yeah, I know.
00:08And that's what it'll come to this time and the time after that and all.
00:10Two grand? Where are we going to get two grand from?
00:12Look, try it again, Rodney,
00:14and this time see if you can get it lower.
00:16How can I get it lower?
00:18Look, 12 times
00:20166 equals
00:221,992.
00:24166 equals
00:261,992.
00:30Use this calculator.
00:32It's still gonna work out the same day.
00:34I could do it on this calculator,
00:36that calculator.
00:38I could do it on me fingers and toes.
00:40I could do it on beads.
00:42It's still gonna come to 1,992, innit?
00:44What bloody hell you turned out to be, Rodney?
00:46What do you do?
00:48Keep the noise down, will you? I can hardly hear this.
00:50Shut up, you saucy old git.
00:52I couldn't understand it, could you? It's an Indian.
00:56In 1959, I was in Bombay.
00:58You carry on much longer,
01:00but tomorrow afternoon you could be in traction.
01:03I like this kind of music.
01:05Right?
01:08Oh, yeah, look at that, Rodney.
01:09It's one of his favourites, that is.
01:11That's that good old-fashioned sing-along number,
01:13Knees Up Mother Patel.
01:17Listen.
01:18We're over there trying to devise a scheme
01:20that is gonna make us into millionaires,
01:22and all you can do is sit here
01:23and watch Bleeding Indian Banjos.
01:26Why don't you just stick a George Harris,
01:28Neil Peer, on your Walkman or something?
01:30You two are gonna be millionaires,
01:31and the Titanic was unsinkable.
01:33Oi, you.
01:34There's a fortune to be made out of this deal.
01:36What?
01:37Yeah?
01:38What is this deal, then?
01:42Lowry Thors.
01:50So, what about them?
01:51Well, what about them?
01:52I'll tell you what about them.
01:53There's a certain painter and decorator
01:55what gets down a nag's head,
01:56and his name is Brendan O'Shaughnessy.
01:59He's Irish.
02:00That is correct, Woodley.
02:02Now, this Brendan O'Shaughnessy
02:03has just got a contract
02:04to decorate and fit out
02:06a new housing estate over at Nunnhead.
02:08And what has the architect deemed
02:10shall be fitted to all wardrobes?
02:13None other than...
02:15Lowry Thors.
02:17One hundred and sixty-six to be precise.
02:20Well, you've got one of them.
02:21That's a start, innit?
02:22You sarky old Bart,
02:23when he wants to, can't he, eh?
02:24That's just a sample, innit?
02:26You see, Dale's mate, Teddy Cummings, right?
02:29He manages the joinery works,
02:30and he can let us have hundreds of them doors dirt cheap,
02:33and there's two hundred percent profit on each one.
02:35That's right.
02:36It's like printing money,
02:37and the cherry on the cake is.
02:38This building firm is putting up houses all over the shop,
02:41so it's a sort of long-term, ongoing situation.
02:44So, where's the problem?
02:45Well, Teddy Cummings will only sell them doors in bulk.
02:49Yeah, if we don't get two grand by tomorrow afternoon,
02:51the deal's off.
02:52Well, can't you borrow the money?
02:54Ah, we tried all that, haven't we?
02:56We've been everywhere.
02:57The bank that likes to say yes said,
02:59On to your bike.
03:02I thought that a black horse gave us a load of old pony, didn't I?
03:06Even the listening bank cocked a deafen.
03:09Dale, you must probably think this is stupid.
03:11What is?
03:12Well, it's a long shot.
03:13I'm here to tell you.
03:14It's a real long shot.
03:15Oh, no.
03:16I like long shots.
03:17You know me, Rodney.
03:18He who dares wins.
03:19What is it?
03:20Yeah, all right.
03:21Hell yeah.
03:22I was reading this colour supplement yesterday.
03:25Yeah.
03:26There was an article in it that really caught my interest.
03:29Yeah.
03:30Yeah.
03:31It was about a butterfly.
03:39Butterfly?
03:40Yeah.
03:41Not an ordinary butterfly, though.
03:43Oh.
03:44Oh.
03:45No.
03:46This one's a bit of a rarity.
03:47It's virtually unheard of in this country.
03:49Oh, well, that's interesting, isn't it?
03:52I think its name was, er, the Jamaican Swallowtail.
03:56Oh, well, it don't mean a lot to me, Rodney, that name.
03:59No.
04:00Here it is.
04:01Look.
04:02Its scientifical name is Papilio Humerus.
04:04Oh, no, that does ring a bell.
04:05Yes.
04:06Yes.
04:07I don't believe what he is doing to me.
04:09Here I am on the verge of losing the biggest deal of my life and this plonker here wants
04:13to give me a lecture about poxy butterflies.
04:15You don't understand, do you?
04:18It's an endangered species.
04:20Yeah, I know.
04:21You'll be an endangered species.
04:22You carry on much longer, Rodney.
04:23Oh, look.
04:24Some of these things have been seen in southern England.
04:27One of them was spotted in Greenwich Park.
04:30You want to whip him down the quacks a bit lively.
04:33The boy's flipped his lid.
04:34Listen, Malfi, there's this private interminal...
04:38interm...
04:39Well, there's this private butterfly collector, right?
04:43And he's willing to pay £3,000 reward for one of these butterflies.
04:48£3,000?
04:49Yeah, and Greenwich Park is only up the road, innit?
04:53Do you mean you want us to go around chasing butterflies?
04:56Yeah.
04:59You know what?
05:00I think you're right, Rodney.
05:01Yeah?
05:02Yeah.
05:03It is stupid.
05:04I thought it was a long shot, didn't I?
05:08I can just see us three now running up and down Peckamire Road.
05:11We'll be trying to catch Mars bar wrappers.
05:16Hey, come on.
05:17Look at the time.
05:18Hey, come on.
05:19Get this stuff out of here.
05:20We've got to go and see if we can do a bit.
05:22Ask yourselves this.
05:23Ask yourselves this.
05:24How much do you spend on air dressing, mate?
05:26It's got to be six or seven quid eight these days, innit?
05:28Now, you work that out over a year and it comes to a national debt, right?
05:32But for just £1.50, you can invest in one of these super deluxe trimming cones.
05:37I mean, you can save yourself a fortune in the comfort of your own front room.
05:41Could you just come round a bit closer?
05:43Come closer, because at these prices, I can't afford to deliver.
05:46Hey, but is it sharp enough, mate?
05:47Is it sharp?
05:48Is it sharp?
05:49Is it sharp enough for you?
05:52Well, that's £1.50 and you can save yourself round.
05:57This is a better bet than a bigger on a favourite.
05:59Now, listen to me.
06:00Listen.
06:01These come recommended, you know, by the world's leading hairstylists.
06:04Vidal Sassoon, Teezy Weezy, Mick the Barber, Mick the Miller, Mickey Mouse, Sweeney Todd.
06:10Why do I bother?
06:16It's been one of them days.
06:19Come on, Ronnie.
06:20Pack up the suitcase.
06:21We'll go down an egg zebra a couple of swift halves.
06:25£2,000 by tomorrow.
06:27There's much chance of winning Miss World.
06:29Hey!
06:30Danjo!
06:35Hey!
06:36Hellboy!
06:37Hey!
06:38Rodney!
06:39Don't ask.
06:40Don't ask.
06:41If they made it into a film, it would be a bigger tearjerker than Love Story.
06:46Mad as that?
06:47Yeah.
06:48I'd go into the details, only I don't want to see grown men cry.
06:52Listen.
06:53If you want to hear a sob story, I will tell you a sob story.
06:56I have just found out that my wife has been lying to me.
07:00No!
07:01Yeah.
07:02Every morning she says she's going to leave me, and when I come home at night, she's still there.
07:09Look at him.
07:10Stop it.
07:12I can't stop.
07:13I've got to get down to the job centre.
07:14Yeah, all right.
07:15Down to the job centre, eh?
07:16You got yourself into a growth industry at last.
07:18Yeah, well, the wages are lousy, but the hours suit me fine.
07:21See you then, Joe.
07:22See you then.
07:23See you around.
07:24See you then, Joe.
07:25See you then, Joe.
07:26You might love to Corinne.
07:27You miserable old cow.
07:28Oh, well, come on, let's go.
07:29Oi.
07:30Huh?
07:31I heard it took three coppers to arrest Denzel the other night.
07:32Yeah, that's right.
07:33One to put the handcuffs on, and two to carry the radio.
07:34We've all heard it, haven't we?
07:35Come on, let's go.
07:36Hey, hold up.
07:37Hey, hold up.
07:38What did Denzel get the sack for?
07:39Oh, he didn't.
07:40He was made redundant.
07:41Hold on.
07:42If he was made redundant?
07:43That means he's got redundancy money.
07:44Yeah, I suppose so.
07:45Denzel!
07:46Denzel!
07:47You're not having any.
07:48I'm afraid!
07:49Denzel!
07:50Denzel!
07:51You're not having any!
07:52I'm afraid!
07:53Denzel!
07:54Denzel!
07:55You're not having any!
07:57Denzel!
07:58Oh, you're not having any!
08:00No, you're not having any!
08:01I'm afraid!
08:02Denzel!
08:03No!
08:04Oh, you're not having any!
08:06I'm afraid!
08:08How'd you get the sack for?
08:09Oh, he didn't!
08:10He was made redundant!
08:12Hold on.
08:13If he was made redundant?
08:14He's got redundancy money!
08:15Yeah, I suppose so.
08:16Denzel!
08:17Denzel!
08:18Denzel!
08:19Denzel!
08:20Denzel!
08:21Denzel!
08:22Denzel!
08:26Still not having any!
08:29Denzel!
08:31I'm gonna make you rich, Denzel!
08:38Please don't make me rich!
08:40Denzel, don't be a plonker all your life!
08:43I'm gonna live forever!
08:51All right, all right? Have a good day?
08:53I'm busy doing the housework, Del.
08:55I made all the beds except yours and Rodney's.
08:58Oh, that's all right. Well, sit yourself down.
09:00You don't want to knock your old pipe out, do you?
09:02No, that's my trouble. I never know when to stop.
09:04Yes, this is true. This is very true.
09:08You're in a better mood than you were this morning.
09:10Yeah, well, I've got every reason to be, haven't I?
09:12I've clinched the Lowry door deal.
09:14Never!
09:15Yeah, it's true.
09:16I've picked him up, paid for him,
09:17and Rodney at this moment in time is stacking him in the garage.
09:19All I've got to do now is phone Brendan,
09:21and he'll come round and pick him up,
09:23and then we shall be rich!
09:25Where'd you get the money to pay for him?
09:27Well, do you remember my pal Denzel?
09:29Called in here a couple of weeks ago.
09:30Yeah.
09:31He was black?
09:32Yeah.
09:33Well, he still is.
09:36Anyway, did you hear that he had £2,000 in redundancy money?
09:39Yeah.
09:40Well, he ain't now.
09:41Oh, come off it, Joe.
09:43You didn't take the fellas' redundancy money.
09:45Well, yeah, yeah.
09:46I mean, he insisted.
09:48I have never seen anything like it.
09:51He did Denzel up like a kipper.
09:53Yeah, well, look, tell him when he comes in
09:56that I've got all the Lowry doors,
09:58and they're in the garage,
09:59and he can come pick them up any time he wants.
10:01Yeah.
10:02He chased him, he did.
10:03A mile and a half through Deptford.
10:05Denzel was 300 yards from his front door,
10:08and he put in a kick.
10:10I tell you, Seb Coe ain't even in a picture
10:12when he's got the smell of money in his nostrils.
10:15OK, then, Bridie.
10:16Look, don't you forget to tell him now, will you?
10:18He forced lager down his throat,
10:20then he frog-matched him to the bank.
10:22Do you know, Denzel was crying
10:23when he handed that money over.
10:26Listen to me, dopey, listen, all right?
10:28Denzel gives me £2,000 today.
10:31I give him £3,000 tomorrow.
10:34Now, that means he gets £1,000 profit in 24 hours.
10:37Now, he ain't gonna get that
10:38out of Bradford and Bingley, is he, eh?
10:40Denzel knows it makes sense.
10:42What about his missus?
10:43She's a bit of a dragon, isn't she?
10:45Well, let's just say,
10:46I wouldn't like to be in Denzel's shoes
10:47when Corinne finds out.
10:48Yeah, she'll be all right.
10:49She'll be as sweet as a nut.
10:51Denzel bought her a little present.
10:53Oh, yeah.
10:54Do it yourself, eh, can't you, Kate?
10:58No, she's gonna treasure that.
10:59You mark my word.
11:00Now, listen, gentlemen, listen to me,
11:02because this evening
11:03I am taking you down a Nags Head public house
11:06where we are gonna hold
11:07one of them things that Rodney
11:09couldn't organise in a brewery.
11:12After that,
11:13after that we're going to the star of Bengal
11:15for a ruby.
11:16So, get that down your neck, Rodney.
11:18Cheers.
11:24My hair's falling out.
11:25Look, my hair's falling out in great chunks.
11:37I'm going bald.
11:39Derek, I'm 24 years old and I'm going bald.
11:45That's supposed to be a sign of something.
11:48Yeah.
11:49It's a sign that I'm going bald.
11:51Listen, you tarts.
11:53Come here, let me have a look.
11:54Come on, let me see.
11:56What do you reckon?
11:58Well, let me put it this way, Rodney.
12:00If your head was a tire, you'd fail the M.O.T.
12:03Oh, God, to hell, I'm going bald.
12:06No, it might not be that, Rodney.
12:08You might have a touch of alopecia.
12:12I never thought of that, Unc.
12:14And there's me fretting, eh?
12:17My head's gonna look like a bloody egg.
12:20You've got to get yourself a wig, son.
12:21Oh, yeah, I'm gonna look really cool
12:23and I'm trying to pull a bird
12:24with a Davy Crockett out of me head.
12:26No, I'll answer that.
12:32It could be the phone.
12:35Hello?
12:36Oh, Brendan.
12:37How are you, pal?
12:38Ah, so you got the message, then?
12:41Eh?
12:42What do you mean you've been trying to phone me all day?
12:45Eh?
12:46Well, what's wrong?
12:49Well, why don't you torture him, then?
12:51You know, go and persuade him.
12:53No, what's wrong?
12:54It's the architect.
12:55He's changed his mind.
12:56He wants Victorian panel doors, now.
12:59Brendan, listen.
13:00Listen, listen, Brendan.
13:01You know, go and...
13:02You know, give him a few quid, eh?
13:03You know, bung him, eh?
13:04Eh?
13:05Well, beat him up, then.
13:08Well, I'll come down and beat him up for you, if you like.
13:11No, Brendan, look.
13:12I've got 166 Lowry doors in my garage.
13:16Hey, all my capital is tied up in them.
13:19Well, I know we didn't sign a contract,
13:21but what am I supposed to do with them?
13:24And yours.
13:26Yeah, I'll get you for this, Brendan.
13:28You just see if I don't.
13:29Damn!
13:31Oh, there.
13:33Damn.
13:34There they go.
13:35Look at all that.
13:36I knew everything was going too smoothly.
13:38All that money.
13:39Can't you take them back to the warehouse
13:40and swap them for panel doors?
13:42Oh, take them back to the warehouse.
13:45Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:50Yeah, why don't we just take them back and swap them?
13:53We can't take them back, can we, eh?
13:56We were well lucky to get them out without being caught.
14:01They were hooky?
14:03Oh, great, Derek.
14:05Cosmic.
14:07They were hooky, louvery doors, were they?
14:09Well, you didn't mention that small fact to me, did you?
14:11Well, weren't you just a teeny-weeny bit suspicious
14:13the way we collected them doors?
14:15Instead of driving into the warehouse
14:17and sort of loading up,
14:18Tommy Cummings was chucking them out the first floor window,
14:20wasn't he, eh?
14:22Till?
14:23What?
14:24You know that Denzel fella?
14:25Yeah.
14:26Has he got any brothers?
14:27Yeah, five, why?
14:29No, I think it's just that
14:30five West Indian blokes just got out of a Rover.
14:32It's them!
14:33That is them, Miss Denzel's brothers!
14:34Look at the size of them!
14:35What are you going to do, Del?
14:36Well, I'm not going to stay here.
14:37We'll just stay here.
14:38We'll stay here, and if they want to cut up rough,
14:39we'll exchange punches, you know, like man-to-man.
14:41You're not including me in that, are you?
14:42Look at the size of them!
14:43They'll look even bigger when you get up here, Rodney.
14:44Yeah, well, it's all right.
14:45Don't worry, don't worry.
14:46Listen, I'm going to explain.
14:47What we're going to do, we'll...
14:48I'll tell you, we're going to run for it!
14:49Come on!
14:50Let's get out of here!
14:51Quick!
14:52Quick!
14:53Quick!
14:54Quick!
14:55Quick!
14:56Quick!
14:57Quick!
14:58Quick!
14:59Quick!
15:00Quick!
15:01Quick!
15:02Quick!
15:03Quick!
15:04Quick!
15:05Quick!
15:06Quick!
15:07Quick!
15:08Quick!
15:09Quick!
15:10Quick!
15:11Quick!
15:12Quick!
15:13Quick!
15:14Quick!
15:15Quick!
15:16What's he brought us here for?
15:18God knows.
15:19I don't like these places.
15:21They make me feel queasy.
15:23Oi, it's up to you two.
15:24No, it's nothing.
15:25It's just Del, but he don't feel too well.
15:27How bad is he?
15:28I mean, is it worth our while taking him home?
15:30Oh, I ain't that bad, Del.
15:32Oh, good.
15:33Well, you just sit back and enjoy yourself, then.
15:35Enjoy ourselves?
15:37Del, we are £2,000 in debt.
15:40We have a garage load of hooky doors and a mob of irate Rastafarians after our blood.
15:46So what are we doing hanging around Mum's monument?
15:49Because I always come here in times of trouble, Rodney.
15:52Just come here and stand here and tell Mum my problems.
15:57And somehow she always seems to provide an answer.
16:00She's never let me down yet.
16:01I mean, you take that time when you was done for the possession of cannabis.
16:05I just came here and I told Mum that her little baby was in trouble with the law and it was almost as if I could hear her voice saying to me,
16:16bribe the old bill, Del.
16:19And what happened?
16:21When the case came to court, the police could provide no evidence.
16:25You told me you got a £250 fine and a suspended sentence.
16:30Yeah.
16:31Well, three days before the trial, this plon completely guilty by post.
16:35Mum wasn't to know that, was she?
16:38No, don't worry, she'll come up with a solution to our financial plight.
16:44Come on, sit yourself down.
16:49Just relax, Rodders.
16:56You know, just look around, Rodney.
16:59Just think, one day all us trotters will be here.
17:03Well, I don't know about you.
17:07It's all right, Del.
17:09I'm with a co-op.
17:13Yeah, back in the 60s, I thought it was all the plot.
17:16You know, I thought, well, land was going to be a good investment, wasn't it, eh?
17:19Can't go wrong, Del, can't you?
17:21See, I'll be over there next to Mum,
17:24and Grandad, well, he's already over in the gardens of external peace.
17:37Oh, yeah, you, er...
17:38Oh, you see, look, see right over there?
17:40Right over the back there?
17:41Look.
17:42Yeah.
17:43Yeah.
17:44See that?
17:45Can you see the big pile of stinging nettles?
17:47Yeah.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Under the stinging nettles?
17:53Why are you going to be buried under a pile of stinging nettles?
17:56Why are you going to bother you, Rodney, is it?
17:57Because you're going to be brown-bred.
17:59What happens when his family come to pay their respects?
18:02Yeah, well, have no family, will he?
18:04Because I'll be over there next to Mum,
18:06and you'll be picking up your divvies.
18:08He'll be married by then.
18:10How's his widow going to tend his grave
18:12when it's covered in stinging nettles?
18:14Well, she'll have to buy herself a decent pair of gardening gloves, won't she?
18:18If you think of it, I've got a beautiful pair of gardening gloves in the garage.
18:23They retail at $4.75, normally.
18:26You can have them for a knicker.
18:28I don't want any gardening gloves.
18:31It's charming, that, isn't it?
18:33Charming.
18:34Never a fork for the poor old missus.
18:36There she'll be all swelling and blotches all over her hands,
18:39a poor little mare.
18:40I don't believe this conversation.
18:42It's taking place.
18:46In 35 seconds, you two have married me, buried me,
18:49and given me widow skin trouble.
18:53You look into a future, ain't you, Uncle?
18:55Not if I can help it, Uncle.
18:57Oh, yeah.
18:58I like looking into the future.
19:00I find it very reassuring to know
19:02that whatever happens down here in this mortal curl,
19:05that one day we'll all be together up there in heaven,
19:09for ever and ever. Amen.
19:12Do you believe in all that heaven and what have you?
19:14Oh, it's true.
19:15I've read it in a book.
19:19Dale.
19:21Yeah.
19:22Just think, Rodney,
19:23when you come through them pearly gates,
19:25all like clouds and things,
19:28the first face that you will see will be mine.
19:32Yeah, that's cosmic.
19:34Dale.
19:35Your mum will be there as well.
19:36Oh, yeah.
19:37Mum will be there.
19:38Because she'll be wanting to see Rodney,
19:40her little wonder baby.
19:42She always used to call him that, you know,
19:44because she wondered how the hell he happened.
19:49Derek.
19:50I suppose your dad might be up there as well, eh?
19:52Oh, I hope so.
19:53I do hope so, Uncle.
19:55Can't wait to get my hands on that old git.
19:57To give him such a whack with my arp,
19:59he won't know whether it's Good Friday or Bonfire.
20:01Phil, will you stop rabbiting for one minute
20:05and come over here?
20:07Oh, good.
20:09Bennett!
20:10What's the matter with you now?
20:12Me?
20:13Look over there.
20:15Where?
20:16Just by them flowers.
20:18It's like that butterfly thing from Rodney's magazine.
20:21Yeah.
20:22It's because it is that butterfly thing from my magazine.
20:25Don't leave it out to you, Wally.
20:27What, that thing over there's worth 3,000 pounds?
20:29Yeah.
20:30Never.
20:31Hmm?
20:32What?
20:37It is.
20:38It is that and all.
20:41If we could...
20:42If we could capture that,
20:43all our problems would be over.
20:45Yeah.
20:46Told you to, didn't I?
20:47Didn't I tell you too?
20:48That mum would come up trumps?
20:49Yeah, let's get in.
20:50No, no.
20:51Be careful.
20:52Take your time.
20:53We've got to do this the way the professionals are doing.
20:57What do you mean?
20:58We've got to jump over things and skid around the van?
21:04I don't mean Bodium Bleed and Doyle,
21:06you stupid old kid.
21:09Professional butterfly catchers.
21:13Albert?
21:14Do you?
21:15You sure have.
21:21Derek!
21:22What?
21:23With some respect.
21:24What?
21:27Sorry.
21:28Oh!
21:29It's gone.
21:30Quick, Rodney.
21:31Get after it.
21:32Go on.
21:33Quick!
21:34Where's it go?
21:35Left?
21:36No, left.
21:37Oh.
21:38Where is it?
21:39No, there.
21:40There.
21:41See?
21:42Hey.
21:43No.
21:44Hey.
21:45Up.
21:46No.
21:47Up.
21:48No.
21:49There.
21:50There.
21:51There.
21:52Come on.
21:53Careful, Del.
21:54Take it nice and easy.
21:56Yes.
21:57Thank you, Rodney.
21:58Because you could slip and kill yourself as easy as anything.
22:01What?
22:02No.
22:03No.
22:04No.
22:05No.
22:06No.
22:08Madeleine.
22:09No.
22:10No.
22:11No.
22:12No.
22:13No.
22:14No.
22:15No.
22:16No.
22:17No.
22:18No.
22:19No.
22:20No.
22:21No.
22:22No.
22:24No.
22:25No.
22:26No.
22:27I don't know if we see it as anything!
22:32Oh, no! I know!
22:48Now! Now!
22:53Hang on!
22:58Oh, come on, Den! He's getting away!
23:04Things I'd do for money!
23:19Where is he?
23:20He's out there on that lily page.
23:22Eh?
23:25Oh!
23:27Well, we can't leave him out here, can we?
23:31Well, what do you want to do, then? Phone the Coast Guards?
23:33Oh, I mean, a bloody great Pike can come up and have him for his supper!
23:37No one of us is going to have to go and get him.
23:40Go on, Rodney, I'll hold your shoes.
23:42Eh?
23:43Eh?
23:44I ain't going in there.
23:45This is no time for second thoughts!
23:48Look, that is not a butterfly out here.
23:51That is Denzil's money!
23:53So how come I've got to go in and get it?
23:56Because I'm not a very good swimmer.
23:58Nor am I.
24:00I know, but you're taller than me, ain't you?
24:02Take you longer to drown.
24:04It's only shallow!
24:06How shallow?
24:07Well, I don't know, do I?
24:09Get in and see!
24:10What's Rodney doing?
24:22I don't know, the backstroke, I think.
24:28Our three grand, you see, he's out there on that lily pad.
24:31Well, I begged him, I begged him not to go in.
24:34You weren't here.
24:35He's right up your street there, isn't he?
24:36Oh, I can't swim, Del.
24:38He used to be a sailor.
24:40Don't mean a thing.
24:41Nelson couldn't swim.
24:44Of course he couldn't.
24:45He'd only got one bloody arm.
24:48He'd have been going round in circles, wouldn't he?
24:52Hey, old Rodney.
24:53See?
24:54Not as bad as you thought, is it?
24:56You pushed me!
24:57I did not, did not push you.
24:58I just gave you a little bit of encouragement.
25:00Anyway, come on, Rodney, you're in now.
25:02I'm getting out now, no.
25:03No, no.
25:04No, no.
25:05Just a minute, just a minute.
25:07Look, not ten yards.
25:08Look, ten yards from you, right,
25:11is one of the rarest, most beautifulest
25:13of God's little tiny creatures.
25:15And then Wally's in that magazine of yours,
25:17he's going to give us three grand for it.
25:19But I don't care, Eric, I'm still getting out.
25:21Listen, no, listen, listen.
25:22Look, we give Denzel back his two grand,
25:24and there's a grand in it for ourselves.
25:27I thought you said you'd give Denzel three grand.
25:29It's funny, that, because Denzel thought I said that and all.
25:33Oh, Rodders.
25:34Have you once a winner?
25:35Don't I?
25:36Would you say?
25:41Nice and gently, Rodney.
25:44Shut up.
25:48Easy now, Rodders.
25:50Don't splash.
25:52Go slowly, don't disturb it.
25:54And there you go.
26:03Got it?
26:04Got it.
26:05Good boy.
26:06Good boy.
26:07Come on.
26:11I better get a cold next week now.
26:13Oh, shut up, you tar.
26:16Water will make my hair go frizzy.
26:18Don't worry, the alopecia will soon cure that.
26:20Oh, careful.
26:23Rodney, just remember, if you get into difficulties,
26:27save the butterfly.
26:29Right?
26:30Stuff the butterfly?
26:33Hey, stop that.
26:34There are very few of them things left in the world.
26:36There are millions of you.
26:39Nice and easy, Rodney.
26:40Almost there.
26:41Yeah.
26:46Careful, careful.
26:48Got it, got it.
26:52Is he all right, Dil?
26:53Yeah.
26:54He's a bit wet, but he'll survive.
27:01The old sun will soon dry you out, won't it?
27:03Then I'm gonna take you down to the nice man
27:06who's going to give your Uncle Delly Welly
27:09three lovely grand.
27:14Denzil, I've got your money.
27:16Great.
27:17See you down the pub later.
27:18Let's go.
27:33What's that mess in your hands?
27:35That used to be a butterfly, Rodney.
27:40A butterfly?
27:43It didn't...
27:44Not one dental...
27:47and...
27:51Well, what a...
27:52plonker!
27:55So what do we do now?
28:05Well, ladies and gentlemen,
28:06how would you like to become the proud owners of a set of
28:08laubry dorks?