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00:0029 pounds 48 sorry 29 pounds 48
00:18did you sue them who the charm school
00:30miserable little cow yeah you're right
00:34won't come here again in future we will take our custom down to patel's multi-mile
00:38they may be a bit dearer at least they smile when they take your money
00:44rodney what is the matter with you i'll see him in it what you've whacked me straight in
00:48her shins with that shopping trolley i couldn't help it that trolley had a mind of its own
00:53oh what you were saying it's intellectually superior to you is that it don't get snarky
00:58rodney it don't become you what a broken leg don't become you
01:02i want you to pack it in will you hey one moment gentlemen uh tom clark top buyer superstores
01:10i wonder if i could have five minutes of your time please certainly tom why what's happening
01:16well if you'd like to accompany me to the manager's office i'll explain there you just a minute what
01:20is your what is your gun what
01:25oh yes can i help you with any of the shopping oh thanks a lot yeah lead on
01:32mcdoogle
01:38yes yes
01:40yes but valerie darling listen to me for a moment why do you want to buy a brand new car
01:49look i'm sorry i snapped at your back yeah but i'm trying to give up smoking
01:52ah it's all right son forget it here i wonder which one of us it is what you mean
01:57well i mean it could only be one one millionth customer can't it yeah well it's got to be me
02:01in it because i paid for it all didn't i hey look i can't talk now somebody's coming to the office
02:19no i'm not quite sure what time i'll be home darling you're not cooking anything special are you
02:23on tricotrioja yes my favorite i'll give you a call just before i leave bye the wife who's
02:37well tom what's it all about i stopped these gentlemen as they were leaving the store sir
02:41because i have reason to believe they have some stolen items in their position
02:47stolen items what are you on about we paid for these groceries that's right 29 pounds 48 pence
02:52yeah you asked a girl at the checker they came quietly sir it's usually a sign of guilt well
02:57of course we did because we thought we'd won the prize didn't we that's all right tom leave it with
03:01me and well done thank you sir and you will be well done oh that's it come on come on let's go
03:11let's go gentlemen if i press this button security will be waiting for you outside the door
03:16and it might appear to a magistrate that you were trying to evade arrest now wait a minute look we
03:24paid for all these goods and we've got a bill to prove it ah yes and we've got a bill to prove it
03:28i showed a bill rodney what bill i ain't got it well of course you must one of us must that don't look
03:34at me i never even saw it yes you did because i paid because when she took it out of till all right
03:39actually we haven't got a bill what a shame gentlemen there are two ways of handling this
03:45unfortunate situation one we can remain here in this office and discuss it like civilized people
03:51or two i can call the police
03:55why don't you talk it over amongst yourselves while i carry on with this
03:58yeah there must be some way we can prove we paper all this most probably is albert but what happens
04:06if the old bill starts asking questions about all my gear right and rodney's watch yeah i suppose
04:11you're right you mean my watch is not tots listen it's all right look it's not up to us to prove our
04:21innocence right it's up to them to prove our guilt so all we got to do is to say nothing at all right yeah
04:26just keep storm we'll be out of here in ten minutes flat all right
04:43hello there how are you i'm very well thank you nice weather for this time of year isn't it
04:50yes it is yes something's shut it in here
05:02oh allow me oh my gosh that's so kind that's very reasonable isn't it
05:07yes
05:19oh
05:21oh
05:23oh
05:25oh
05:27oh
05:29oh
05:31oh
05:33I saw that, Sheila. I've seen him. Leave it to me.
05:5220 Rothmans in a box of matches, please, love.
06:06That's £1.46, please.
06:08Put it on my account. You take care, now.
06:12You've got back here with that stuff.
06:17All right, son. This is in your fun and games.
06:20What have I done?
06:22Oh, no. Don't tell me. I haven't paid for these, have I?
06:26Haven't paid? Get back in there. You're nicked.
06:29No, no. I have this problem, you see. Memory blanks.
06:33Get in there.
06:36Listen to me, man. The other day I went into Woolworths.
06:40When I got home, I had a pair of binoculars, 12 packs of strepsils
06:44and a roof rack for a cortina.
06:46And I didn't know.
06:48Yes, will you tell that to the manager? You're going to the office.
06:50Please, man. I'll go away for this. Look, I've only just come out.
06:53Yeah, well, you should have talked about that before then. Come on, up to the office.
06:56Oh, please, man. Don't take me up to the office.
06:58Look, give me a break, will you?
06:59I'll give you a break if you keep on. Come on.
07:02Look, please. Don't take me up to the office, love.
07:05I'm not up to the office.
07:06It's a very nasty habit you've got there, you know. You could lose your teeth doing that.
07:19Yeah. How would you know that?
07:21Because I'm going to ram my fist right down your throat.
07:22Well, Rodney, he's giving me the right arm. He really is.
07:29Don't take me in the office, man. Don't. Don't.
07:32There's an hour off where it's frozen.
07:35I'm not the safe.
07:37Oh, I'm trying to take those in.
07:41Who are they?
07:42They're here on suspicion of shoplifting.
07:44Move.
07:45Move.
07:45Yeah, yeah.
07:46I ain't here for you.
07:51Ain't I seen you somewhere before?
07:52No, no, no, no, no, no. I ain't been anywhere before, have I, Rodney?
07:56No, no, no. He stays at home all the time.
08:00Go on.
08:01There's nothing to save.
08:02Yes, of course.
08:05I'm the right villain, I am.
08:09A real hard nut.
08:10Yes, yes.
08:12Hey, what's with the hands in the air?
08:14You've got a gun in your upper end, haven't you, no?
08:16Come on, let's not be formal.
08:18Put them down.
08:20Do you know the secret of my success?
08:21No, no.
08:22Planning.
08:23No detail is left unturned.
08:25No stone unchecked.
08:28I'll plan everything down to the last second.
08:31Excuse me.
08:33I'm terribly sorry, but I can't open the safe.
08:35What's he say to me?
08:37Come on, don't be a prat, sir.
08:39Open the safe for the nice man.
08:41I can't open it.
08:42The combination won't work.
08:44What's the type, then?
08:45It's about twenty past five.
08:47No, it's quarter past six.
08:49Bloody watch!
08:51It's always going wrong.
08:53Me mum only bought it for me a month ago down the market.
08:56Bloody watch.
08:58I didn't know that was that late.
09:01I won't be able to open the safe.
09:04You see, it's fitted with a time lock,
09:06which comes into operation at six o'clock.
09:08Is this true?
09:08Yeah, I'm sorry, son.
09:10You're fifteen minutes late.
09:12Bloody watch!
09:15So when does it switch off?
09:17Tomorrow at 8am.
09:19Oh, great.
09:21Well, thank you very much.
09:23So what am I supposed to do now?
09:26Can't you come back first thing in the morning?
09:29No, I can't.
09:31I have got other things to do, you know.
09:33Oh, well.
09:38I suppose there's nothing else for it.
09:44We'll have to wait, eh?
09:46Wait!
09:47Wait!
09:48What are you talking about?
09:48That's, what, that's fourteen hours, isn't it?
09:51Look, I don't want to stay in here any more than what you do,
09:54but have you any idea how much is in that safe?
09:57Oh, no.
09:57About sixty grand.
09:59You're kidding.
10:03I'm afraid not.
10:04Friday is our busiest day.
10:07See?
10:08Planning.
10:11Well, let's all settle down there.
10:14It's only fourteen hours.
10:16It'll soon go.
10:17Sit down!
10:18I mean, I had a date tonight, too,
10:26with that croupier bird from the 111 club.
10:29Charming sort.
10:30She's well-spoken, called on blue cook,
10:32buzzer business.
10:35Months before I have another crack at her.
10:37Yeah, I am well choked for you, ain't I?
10:39No, no, no, no, I smoked the last one about an hour ago.
11:01Anyway, so you'd have packed it up, wouldn't it, eh?
11:04Oh, yeah.
11:05A gun at your head's just the sort of incentive you need, ain't it?
11:07Listen, he ain't gonna hurt no-one.
11:12He's just a kid trying to get some money.
11:15He's more frightened than us.
11:17Oh, bless him.
11:25Are you still there, son?
11:28Yeah.
11:29Oh, what do you want?
11:30I was just wondering about if we could have some lights on,
11:32like, you know, see what we was up to, you know what I mean?
11:34But passers-by might see the light.
11:38No, no, not if you pull the blind, right?
11:41Oh, yeah.
11:43Okay, I want you to do exactly as I say.
11:46Anything you say, son?
11:47Do you want a bus?
11:48I want you to switch that light on,
11:50then pull them blinds down.
11:51No, no, no, no.
11:53What you want to do is you want to pull the blind,
11:55then switch on the light.
11:57Oh, yeah.
11:58Thanks.
11:59Right, I want you to pull them blinds and then switch that.
12:03Yes, yes, yes.
12:03I think I've got it.
12:05Yes.
12:15Sorry.
12:17Do you know how the police have nicknamed me?
12:20Got a shrewd idea, but...
12:22I'm known as the Shadow because I'm fast and fleeting.
12:29I come and I go and no-one knows.
12:32Come and go, dear.
12:33It's going to take you 14 bleeding hours to come and go in here.
12:37No epidemics come and go quicker than you.
12:39Look, I didn't know that safe was on a time lock.
12:42No.
12:44I'm a man of mystery, me.
12:46A master of disguises.
12:47The man with a thousand faces.
12:49Do you remember the Scarlet Pimpton, Elk?
12:53It won't you, is it?
12:57Nah.
12:58But I'm like him.
13:01They seek him out.
13:03They seek him there.
13:04Those policemen seek him everywhere.
13:08Is he in heaven or is he in Elk?
13:11That damn elusive Shadow.
13:13Oh, it's very good.
13:21Very, very good there, yeah.
13:23So the police are looking for the Shadow, then, are they?
13:26They'll never catch him.
13:27No, no, but I bet Hank Marvin's had a few tugs, though.
13:34What's that?
13:35It's the phone.
13:36I know it's the phone.
13:37I ain't stupid.
13:38I mean, who is it?
13:39Well, it's a little difficult to tell, this thing.
13:44You better let him out, Trich, son.
13:45It might be his wife.
13:47Oh, yeah, she's got on to cut real car.
13:51Oh, we saw it later, that.
13:53Go on, then.
13:54Find out how she is.
13:55Yes.
13:56Peterson.
13:58It's security.
13:59They're just about to shut up.
14:01Yes, you can switch the alarm system on.
14:03Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
14:05I'm the head of security.
14:06Yes, you can switch the alarm system on.
14:10Yes.
14:11There you are, you see?
14:13Everything's all right.
14:14Yeah?
14:15You don't mind if I double-check, do you?
14:19He's becoming more nervous and agitated.
14:22Danger signs in a situation like this.
14:24I told you he'd be all right.
14:27He'd be as good as gold as long as we don't upset him.
14:29He's just a kid.
14:30That's what makes him dangerous.
14:33A nervous kid, air trigger, put them together.
14:38You're a cheerful old boy, aren't you?
14:42One of us has got to create a distraction
14:44so that the other two can grapple with him and disarm him.
14:49What are you whispering about?
14:50It's all right, all right, son.
14:51I think it's all right, all right.
14:52No, no problem.
14:53Do you mind if I stand up a bit and walk around?
14:56Why?
14:57I've got a bit of cramp in me leg.
15:00Go on, then.
15:02No sudden movements, though.
15:04Sub-movements?
15:05Yeah.
15:06As long as he gets to a sudden movement
15:08is when he wipes the cobwebs off his head.
15:10Oh, that's better.
15:20Nice.
15:21Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:27Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
15:57Have you got any tobacco on you?
16:04What's that noise?
16:28Weren't me.
16:31It's the staff arriving.
16:33What time's you open?
16:358.30.
16:37We've been here 13 and a half hours.
16:39About time to fly when you're in good company.
16:42We've got that a go and it'll all be over.
16:45The old Shadow's looking pretty knackered, ain't he?
16:49You know, I was proper trained and you can condition your body to do without sleep.
16:53I've learned that out in Kenya.
16:55What, you've got a branch out there then?
16:57I don't know. When I was younger I did a bit of travelling.
17:00Ended up doing five years with the Kenyan police force.
17:03I was out there during the trouble with the Mau Mau.
17:05He's too young to know what that means.
17:07He most probably thinks the Mau Mau is the African post office.
17:10We did modern history at school, didn't we, Matthew?
17:14Touching by all them ribbons, you must have seen a bit of action, Albert.
17:17Yeah, I was in the Navy, Royal and Merchant.
17:20I've seen things that'll make your teeth itch.
17:23But I never talk about them.
17:27Sharks, don't talk to me about sharks.
17:30I've seen the beautiful monsters they were.
17:33Yeah, he thinks that Jaws was a stickle-backer.
17:40Oi, Rodney.
17:41What the hell do you think you're playing at?
17:43Rodney, come back and sit down, son.
17:45Don't do anything rash, son. It's not worth it.
17:48God's sake, there's only 30 minutes to go.
18:13You pelonka!
18:15What are you doing?
18:19Nothing, I just fancy a fag, that's all.
18:22Well, why didn't you ask me?
18:24There's no need to steal.
18:28Sorry.
18:31What was that?
18:32It's the staff arriving.
18:33They start early, don't they? Quarter past four.
18:36It's half past seven!
18:39Bloody watch.
18:40So.
18:45Only half an hour to go.
18:47It's sad, really.
18:49We might never meet again.
18:51Could always hold a reunion next year, if you like.
18:56I remember who you are now.
18:59It's all right, son.
19:00You can have a full rebate, no problems.
19:02You're, er, what is it?
19:05No.
19:06Now, don't tell me.
19:07No.
19:08Tell.
19:09Yeah.
19:10No.
19:11Dell.
19:12Dell Trotter, right?
19:13Don't you recognise me?
19:14Well, you're the master of disguise, aren't you?
19:17Do you remember Rosanna Gilby?
19:19West Indian lady.
19:20Lives down Clutter Road.
19:22Years ago.
19:23Used to come round on the weekly and that, selling shoes, Dell.
19:26Yes, I remember.
19:27And that was you.
19:30Don't you remember a little boy?
19:33A little...
19:34No, no.
19:35You're not.
19:36You're not little, little, Lennox.
19:37That's what it's mean, Lennox Gilby.
19:38Lennox Gilby, I don't believe it.
19:39You've got a stone meat.
19:40Now, last time I saw you, you was about that eye.
19:41Of course, dear.
19:42Doesn't time fly, eh?
19:43Yeah.
19:44So, what are you doing with yourself now?
19:46Oh, well, I'm on the Dole, Dell.
19:47Oh, yeah.
19:48How's your mum?
19:49Oh, she's all right.
19:50Suffers from her feet a bit, but...
19:51Yeah, well, she's all right.
19:52Hang about.
19:53I remember your mum.
19:54I remember a very straight lady.
19:55Proud churchgoer and all that.
19:56Yeah.
19:57She won't know nothing about this, Dell.
19:58Oh, no.
19:59How are you going to explain away £60,000, then, eh?
20:00Christmas bonus from the Dole.
20:01Oh, no.
20:02How are you going to explain away £60,000, then, eh?
20:03Christmas bonus from the Dole.
20:04Oh, no.
20:05No.
20:06No.
20:07No.
20:08No.
20:09No.
20:10No.
20:11No.
20:12No.
20:13No.
20:14No.
20:15No.
20:16No.
20:17Don't room the Job Centre.
20:18Listen, Lynx, there are millions of people out there in the same boat as you, but don't
20:22go around robbing everyone.
20:23Look, I haven't had a job, right, in six years.
20:26Well, nor is Rodney.
20:27I've got no future!
20:29Nor is Rodney.
20:30I haven't done a day's work since I left school, Dell.
20:35It's a tough old world, Lynx.
20:36A tough old world.
20:37But it doesn't give you the right to go around pointing guns at people.
20:42That thing is going to put you in prison.
20:44Nah.
20:45I'm too shrewd.
20:46Oh, you shrewd, are you? Shrewd, are you? Very shrewd.
20:49Yeah.
20:49Yeah, that's right.
20:50An hour ago, you were the shadow, right? A man of mystery.
20:53Now we know your name, your address and your mum's shoe size.
20:57Come on, Lennox. Give it up now before it's too late.
21:01Eh? That gun doesn't suit you.
21:04In 20 minutes, Del, I'll be rich.
21:06And in 30 minutes, you're going to be banged up.
21:09I'll tell you why, shall I?
21:10Just review the situation for a second, right?
21:14All the staff have arrived, right?
21:16They started a work out there. Now you've got to walk through them, haven't you?
21:20They're all out there. The shelf packers, the porters, the cleaners, security people.
21:26The shop doesn't open till I've passed eight, right?
21:28Now in order to get out, you've got to go up, ask one of them to go and get the keys to let you out.
21:34Before you can say police snipe, there'd be more lead flying about than a fight in a scrapyard.
21:40Yeah, you'd never reach your getaway car.
21:42Getaway car?
21:43I knew that was something.
21:48Hey, look, Del, I didn't want to go through with this, all right?
21:51I just got a bit desperate, mate.
21:54It's all right, all right. I know, son, I know.
21:56And the police didn't really nickname me the shadow.
21:58No?
21:59I'm not known by the police.
22:01I've never done anything like this before.
22:03Listen to me. Now listen.
22:07Now come on, you give it up, mate.
22:09Give it up before it's too late.
22:11I'll tell you what I'll do.
22:13I'll come down the court with you and I'll speak for you, mate.
22:16You said it would be easy.
22:19Shut up, you fool.
22:20I've been set up for this, Del.
22:22You?
22:24You and Lennox?
22:25He said I'll just walk out with the money.
22:27And you could have if you'd been here at five o'clock as arranged.
22:29But that's it, that's it, and it, of course it.
22:31It's been worrying me all night, it says.
22:33All night, it's been...
22:34I mean, let's say, how did Lennox know so much about this place?
22:37How did he know there was all that money here in the safe and where it was?
22:40You must believe me.
22:41I didn't do it purely for the money.
22:43What did you do it for, then?
22:45Well, all right, I did do it for the money.
22:48But it was simply to pay off my debts.
22:51You see, I have a wife whose hobby is spending.
22:55£12,000 for a salarium.
22:58£15,000 for a swimming pool.
23:00And now she's got estimates on a marble-tiled gazebo.
23:05God, we only live in a semi.
23:09Couldn't you seek professional help?
23:12You mean a psychiatrist?
23:14No, I mean a hitman.
23:16No, I couldn't afford it.
23:18This seemed the only way out.
23:20But how did you two ever meet?
23:22I mean, I can't imagine Lennox at the young Tories ball,
23:24and, well, you wouldn't go down a bomb at a ram-jam club, would you?
23:28Lennox came here last year looking for a job.
23:30Then we bumped into each other a couple of months ago in court.
23:33I'd been summonsed for failure to maintain the repayments
23:36on the half-purchase agreement that had been signed by my wife,
23:39the fat, greedy cow.
23:41I was there on an attempted wounding case.
23:43I weren't the accused, Del.
23:45I was the victim.
23:47Anyway, me and Mr Peterson got chatting,
23:49and the whole thing started from there.
23:51Did he supply you with a gun?
23:53Oh, no.
23:54He did.
23:59Shamboussi Nouveau.
24:01Oh, dear.
24:02Would you?
24:03Adam and Eva, eh?
24:05Dixon of Kuala Lumpur is involved.
24:07Yeah, that's right.
24:10Yeah, the three of us planned it.
24:11And I want you to know I did it purely for the money.
24:13I bet you did.
24:14I'll retire in a couple of months, Tom,
24:16and you should have seen the crummy pension this firm was offering me.
24:19I was going to get less than Duncan Goodews barber.
24:21We needed Tom in with us for his police experience.
24:25He told us what to do, how to make the robbery look genuine.
24:28So where did we fit into all this?
24:30Well, it would have looked a bit dodgy, wouldn't it?
24:32If the only witnesses to a 60 grand robbery
24:34was the store manager and the head of security,
24:36now what we wanted was some independent witnesses.
24:39Oh, I see.
24:40So that is why you pulled us in.
24:4414 hours.
24:46Just to provide you with an alibi.
24:49God, well, I'll...
24:51Just a minute.
24:52Give us that.
24:53Give me that here.
24:54Look, where did you get this?
24:56Out of our toy department.
24:57God, yeah.
24:58I wondered how long Taiwan had been making Lugers.
25:02So what happens now?
25:04Are you going to the police?
25:08No.
25:09I'm going to phone them instead.
25:10Del!
25:11No, no, no, don't panic.
25:13Don't panic.
25:13Just warning you up.
25:15You are a Wally Lennox.
25:17Sorry, Del.
25:18What is your mum going to say?
25:21Eh?
25:22Anyway, listen to this.
25:23There's no real harm done, right?
25:26No one's got hurt.
25:27Nothing has been nicked.
25:28Now listen.
25:30This is me, Lennox.
25:30You're after a job, right?
25:31I've been after one ever since I left school, Del.
25:33Yeah, well, I happen to know where there's one going
25:35and I'm well in with the governor.
25:37You're kidding.
25:38No.
25:38Do you reckon it could swing it for me, Del?
25:39Well, I reckon, sir.
25:40Mind you, the job does not come available until...
25:43When do you retire, Tom?
25:44Well, in work here, it's security.
25:47Can you think of anyone better who know exactly who to keep his eye on?
25:50That's right.
25:51Well, tell me.
25:52I mean, what do you prefer?
25:53Young Lennox or old Bill?
25:57Welcome to the firm, Lennox.
26:00I'll stop you out of uniform.
26:01Show your duties.
26:02That's it.
26:03Right, Rodney, come on.
26:04Albert, come on.
26:05We're going.
26:05We're leaving.
26:05Let's get out of here.
26:07Oh, dear.
26:08This lot's going to have to go straight in the fridge when we get home.
26:16You know, Len, let's save you buying a truncheon, won't it, eh?
26:19Listen to me, Mr. Peterson.
26:20I'm coming back to your shop this afternoon.
26:22Why?
26:22Because I've got this funny feeling that I am going to be your millionth customer.
26:26What do you think?
26:28I have exactly the same feeling.
26:31You know it makes sense, don't you?
26:34Bonjour.