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00:00You see, I mean, to me, Janice, art, you know, art as an art, right, must by its very nature
00:16be self-indulgent, right?
00:19I mean, as I said to David Hockney once, the inherent element in all artistic projects
00:25should not be one of contemporary mass appeal, but rather one of personal symbolism.
00:31Don't you agree, Janice?
00:32I don't know, Rodney.
00:35Oh, well, you know, that's why I like talking to you.
00:39You're one of the few people who seems to understand me.
00:44My father Don paints, you know.
00:46Really?
00:47Yeah, for the council.
00:49Oh, no, that is cosmic, Janice. No, really. No, that is cosmic.
00:54That's probably why we have the same appreciation and understanding of true art.
00:59I mean, we have an affinity, an aesthetic bond.
01:02We are kindred spirits, Janice.
01:04Seekers of beauty in a broken, ugly world.
01:09Janice?
01:10Yes, Rodney?
01:11Get your bra off.
01:15I can't.
01:16Well, of course you can. You must live and be free.
01:19I can't, Rodney.
01:21I'm not wearing one.
01:24Oh.
01:28Whoa.
01:30Oh, yeah.
01:37Well, not dark in here, are you?
01:38Oh, that's better.
01:40Oh, put him down, Janice.
01:42Put him down.
01:42You don't know where he's been.
01:45Oh, well, then what have we got going on here?
01:46Oh, I'll have a drop of that.
01:47Thanks.
01:48Here, look, we don't want all this rubbish on, do we, eh?
01:51That's better.
01:53Oi, Janice, you mind his bruises, won't you?
01:55What bruises?
01:56His bruises. He's covered in them.
01:57It's where the girls keep on pushing him away with ten-foot barge poles.
02:00Oh, dear, oh, dear, that's better.
02:04Ah, ah.
02:06You're in, are you, Dale?
02:07Hmm?
02:08Yes, yes, I'm in, Rodders.
02:10Hope you've been behaving yourself.
02:11You know, remember what I told you, not to do it on your own doorstep.
02:15We've just been sitting here discussing art, that's all.
02:18Do you like art, Dale?
02:19Oh, yeah.
02:20Dale used to be cultural advisor to the Chelsea Shed.
02:23Yeah, I like art, Janice, I like art, you know.
02:25I'm a Renaissance man, myself.
02:27You know, I like them pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.
02:31Last week, down the Pie and Eel shop,
02:34Dale shook the international art world to its very foundations
02:37by stating, quite openly, that Michelangelo was a Wally brain.
02:42Well, he was a Wally brain, wasn't he?
02:44Took him 12 years to paint one ceiling.
02:46God, that wouldn't do your brother Donald any good, would it, Janice, eh?
02:50Well, he's on bonus.
02:53I do not believe this. I'm going to wake up in a minute.
02:56Here, look, I'll tell you another thing while we're about it, and all.
02:58You know, some of those artists, you know, they're a bit sick, if you ask me.
03:01What are you on about now?
03:02Well, look, take a look at this, right?
03:04Now, this is a statuette of the world-famous Venus the Milo, right?
03:09Now, who but the sick of mind would do a sculpture of a disabled person?
03:15Am I right, Janice?
03:18It's a bit sick, isn't it?
03:19Yeah, you are, yeah.
03:20You weren't like that originally.
03:21No, no, no. This is the product of a twisted imagination, this, Rodney.
03:25Yeah, yeah, talking of twisted imaginations, are you still looking for a job?
03:29What, in this country?
03:30It's three million unemployed. What chance has Rodney gone?
03:33Oh, with his big brother looking after him, he's got every chance in the world.
03:36Now, take one of your purple hearts, Rodney, because I've got a surprise coming for you.
03:39Now, I have managed to secure for you a position with a newly formed security company.
03:45Now, they did want a man with previous experience, and as your last job was a milk monitor, I did have a bit of trouble persuading them.
03:52But, however, I have managed to swing it for you.
03:56Are you putting me on, Dale?
03:57No, definitely. I've got a job for you, Rodney.
04:00Hey, that's great, Dale.
04:02Yeah, it's all right.
04:03You'll start off as a trainee NSO.
04:05No.
04:06Oh, yes. And who knows, my son?
04:08You know, use your old filbert, keep your nose clean.
04:10A couple of years' time, you could end up as a, well, I don't know, a senior NSO.
04:14Oh, I will, Dale. I won't let you down, son.
04:17What's an NSO?
04:20Oh, don't be a ghost, Janice.
04:23What's an NSO?
04:24I don't know they're born, some of them, do they?
04:26That's right.
04:29Tell them what an NSO is, Dale.
04:33NSO, Janice, is a nocturnal security officer.
04:36Yeah, you see, it's a nocturnal security officer.
04:39That doesn't sound like a night watchman, Dale.
04:41It's nothing like a night watchman.
04:44I mean, yeah, yeah, you will have to work at night.
04:47And will some of my duties include watching?
04:50No, they won't, no.
04:51I mean, all you'll have to do is you just have to, you know, you'll, you just have to, you...
04:56Keep an eye out, don't you?
05:00What was the name of this recently formed security company, then?
05:03Ah, well, you wouldn't have heard of them.
05:05Try me, Dale.
05:06Come on, let's have it.
05:08All right.
05:09It's called...
05:11Trotter Watch.
05:13Trotter Watch?
05:14Yeah.
05:15That's you, isn't it?
05:16I'm working for you, aren't I?
05:17Yeah, you see, the way I see it, Rodney, is that crime is a growth industry, so I'm getting
05:21in while the going is good.
05:23That's a nice regular job.
05:24It's got a uniform, good wages.
05:27How good.
05:28Oh, we'll talk about that later.
05:29First of all, let us try on your uniform, eh?
05:32See?
05:33There, come on, slip into it.
05:34There it is.
05:35Oh, look at that.
05:36Colour suits you, doesn't it, eh?
05:38Ahem.
05:39Ahem.
05:40Yes.
05:41Look at that fit.
05:42Ahem.
05:43Oh, yeah.
05:43Déjà vu.
05:45It's like it's made to measure, isn't it?
05:46Yeah.
05:47For someone else.
05:49Yeah, now, oh, well, sleeves and that.
05:51Well, he'll grow into them.
05:52Don't worry about that.
05:53Here, let's have a look.
05:53That's it.
05:54T.W.
05:55That's all right.
05:56Trotter watch.
05:58That could also stand for traffic warden, though.
06:00Traffic warden?
06:01Oh, yeah, because it could, yeah, traffic warden.
06:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:03This is a traffic warden's uniform, innit?
06:05It is not a traffic warden's uniform.
06:07You've got me done up as a bloody traffic warden.
06:10Oh, God.
06:10It is once and for all.
06:12It is not a traffic warden's uniform.
06:14Now, just trust me, will you?
06:16Put your cap on.
06:19Well?
06:21I look like a traffic warden.
06:23I look like a traffic warden who ain't been well.
06:26Oh, don't you look stunning, Rodders?
06:30Oh, yeah, look at that.
06:31You're admitting authority all over the place.
06:34I'm not doing it, Dale.
06:35I don't want a job.
06:36Oh, no, come on, Rodney.
06:37You've got to do it.
06:38You can't let me down.
06:38I gave them your word.
06:39Give who my word?
06:40Oh, the people down at the Tyler Street Bus and Coach Garage.
06:43That's where you're going to be based.
06:44No, I'm definitely not doing it, Dale.
06:46Oh, well, yeah, okay.
06:48Well, of course, if you're scared, you could admit it.
06:52Come on.
06:53Oh, Alemania, dispoir.
06:55Huh?
06:56Janice will understand if your bottle has gone.
07:00No, he's scared.
07:02Must be joking.
07:04Ah, that's the spirit.
07:06Now, I want you down there nine o'clock tomorrow night.
07:08I'm a stickler for punctuality, all right?
07:11Now then, I'm going to bed.
07:13Oh, yeah, by the way, excuse me a minute, Janice.
07:16Sorry, Janice.
07:17Your bondage ropes, they're in the garage, all right?
07:20And the granddaddy's washed your whip and he's put it in the airing cupboard.
07:23I don't think it's shrunk.
07:26Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone and I shall just say a Buenos Aires.
07:30Janice, Janice, he was only...
07:37You rotten dick, Dale.
07:41Well, I'll leave it all in your capable hands then, Rodgers.
07:50Yeah, cheers, Dale.
07:52You realise this job's going to mess up my love life, don't you?
07:55Right?
07:55Why?
07:56I'm giving you every second Sunday off, haven't I?
07:58Yeah, but Janice is only going to be happy with that, is she?
08:01I mean, while I'm down here at night, she could be going out with someone else.
08:04Now, look, don't worry about that.
08:06What do you think I'm all dressed up for like this, eh?
08:10Taking Janice out for a meal.
08:12You're taking Janice out?
08:13Of course I am.
08:14For your sake.
08:16Otherwise, she might be going out with somebody else.
08:18Yeah.
08:21Yeah.
08:23Cheers, Dale.
08:24Why are you wearing plimsolls?
08:29What?
08:30So, why are you wearing plimsolls?
08:33Don't you think they mar the overall symmetry of the uniform somewhat?
08:37No, I can run faster in these.
08:40Well, I mean, give chase, you know, pursue and detain, sort of...
08:43Oh, nothing happens round here.
08:48Quiet as a grave.
08:50Well, I'll see you in the morning then, Rodders.
08:52Take care now.
08:55Yeah.
08:58Don't worry about me, Dale.
08:59I'll be all right.
09:00Bye.
09:20Bye.
09:51Oh, there you are, Granddad.
09:57Here you go.
09:58Look at that.
09:59Look at that.
10:00It's beautiful, isn't it?
10:01It's beautiful.
10:02It's going to earn our fortunes, this is, Granddad.
10:04Come on, Rodney.
10:05It's ten to nine.
10:07I used to be a security officer, you know, before the war.
10:11Blimey, do you mean say that somebody actually trusted you with their property?
10:15It's like trusting a piranha fish with your finger.
10:17Or worse.
10:23Oh, yeah.
10:24It was a big warehouse over Kilburn Way.
10:27Stocked everything from bedroom suites to kiddies' toys.
10:32Well, this fellow used to work there, used to arrive every morning in a big, wolsey car.
10:38He wore a camel's hair overcoat, kid gloves, and he always carried a brand new leather attachy case, and he smoked expensive cigars.
10:50Well, call it intuition if you like, but I was suspicious of him.
10:57And why?
10:58Well, we were only a sweeper up.
11:02Well, how do you do it, Holmes?
11:07Anyhow, one night as he was leaving, I stopped him and I searched his attachy case.
11:15It were empty.
11:15Still, unperturbed by this minor hiccup in my investigation, I stopped him and searched his attachy case every night for an whole year.
11:28Then he left.
11:30I wonder why.
11:32I don't remember.
11:34I think he claimed someone was victimising him.
11:38No unions in them days, see?
11:41No, well, this is it, isn't it, eh?
11:43Yeah.
11:43Anyway, a couple of weeks after he left, the auditors come.
11:49You know what they discovered?
11:51No.
11:51We was missing 348 attachy cases.
11:57What, you mean, you'd been searching the stolen gear?
12:01Yeah, and I got done for it.
12:05Being the prince.
12:07There's a moral to this story, dear boy, but for the life of me, I can't find it.
12:13I don't think I'm going to bother to look either, granddad.
12:17Hello, the son of the bride of Dracula.
12:19Oh, here he is.
12:20What time is it?
12:21The time is nearly nine o'clock.
12:23Nine?
12:24I'm going to be late if I don't get a move on.
12:26No, no, it's all right, there's no worry.
12:27No, no, go on, no rush, sit down, take it easy.
12:30That's it, go on.
12:31Let me get you a cup of tea, all right?
12:32Oh, yeah.
12:33Here you go, then.
12:33Are you still taking my part with Janice?
12:35Yes.
12:36Don't worry, I won't let you down.
12:38Cheers, Del.
12:39How am I doing?
12:40Very well.
12:41Very well.
12:42Yes.
12:43One more steak meal could crack it.
12:45Yeah?
12:46I haven't done this well with a girl for a long time.
12:49You're like me, Rodney.
12:50I've never, ever found it easy to get girlfriends.
12:54I wonder why.
12:57Hey, it's still light out.
12:59It's broad daylight.
13:00Yeah, of course it would be, wouldn't it?
13:01Nine o'clock in the morning, what do you expect?
13:03Nine o'clock in the morning?
13:05I thought it was nine at night.
13:06I've only been in bed 20 minutes.
13:07What are you waiting for?
13:09Sit down and sit down.
13:10It's all right.
13:11All right, don't exaggerate.
13:1320 minutes?
13:14Listen, I want to discuss something very important with you, see?
13:16What could be that important?
13:18Hey, I haven't got Janice into trouble, have we?
13:20Don't be silly.
13:22At least I hope not.
13:24Listen, I want to talk to you, see?
13:27Now, this night security job of yours is merely a tiny part of my immaculate scheme.
13:33What immaculate scheme?
13:34The tourist trade, Rodney.
13:35The tourist trade.
13:37See, do you realise that over 2,000 tourists pour into London every day,
13:40and I happen to know, despite the fact that tourism has never been so high,
13:44the coach party trade is falling off.
13:46Now, why, you may ask?
13:47Yeah, why is that, Del?
13:49Well, since you ask, I will tell you, Rodney.
13:50The reason is, your average tourist gets fed up, doesn't he?
13:54I've seen the same old places, like the Houses of Parliament, Buckhouse, the National Gallery.
13:59You know, once you've seen one Rubin's, you've seen them all.
14:03Now, this is where a dynamic person like me steps in.
14:07Wake up while your brother's being dynamic.
14:09Sorry.
14:09Go on.
14:10Yeah, right.
14:11You see, out there, Rodney, out there's a new, vibrant, exciting London awaiting to be discovered.
14:17Is there?
14:18Yeah, of course there is.
14:20Ethnic London.
14:22Ethnic London?
14:23Yeah.
14:24Yes, you know, all those romantic places that you've only heard about in fairy tales.
14:29You know, the Lee Valley Viaduct.
14:31Right?
14:32The glow of Lower Edmonton at dusk.
14:36The excitement of a walkabout in Croydon.
14:39Yeah.
14:40Look, look what I've had printed.
14:42Oh, I don't believe this.
14:45Trotter's Ethnic Tours.
14:47What's all this squiggly stuff and the Chinese?
14:49The squiggly stuff, the squiggly.
14:51That is Arabic, isn't it?
14:52And the Chinese is Japanese.
14:53It's a well-known fact that 90% of all foreign tourists come from abroad.
14:57So, we've got to speak their lingo, ain't we?
15:00We?
15:00We're French.
15:01I like it.
15:02Already you're picking up the lingo, sir.
15:05That is what I call enthusiasm, Rodney.
15:07I weren't speaking in French, Del.
15:10I meant, what do you mean, we?
15:11We, us.
15:12You know, us.
15:13Yeah, you know.
15:13Because it's a family enterprise, isn't it?
15:15Granddaddy'll sell the programmes.
15:17I shall be the courier.
15:19And you, Rodney, you have got the best job of all.
15:22Because you will drive the bus.
15:25Ding, ding.
15:26Hold tight, everybody.
15:27Rodney's coming, eh?
15:29Be another wage, Rodney.
15:31I've already got a wage, Del.
15:32Yeah, but you can't afford to live on what I pay you, can you?
15:35I don't know, Del, how much you're paying me.
15:36Well, not a lot.
15:38Not a lot.
15:39So, you know, I can't afford to.
15:40See, um...
15:42Well, I've done a deal.
15:43You see, uh, with a bus garage.
15:45What happened was, I provided them with a night...
15:47Well, no, no, no.
15:48A nocturnal security operator.
15:51And they provide me with an open-top bus.
15:53That saves the exchange of any cash, you know.
15:55Stops all the paperwork.
15:56End income tax.
15:57End income tax, yeah.
15:59Hey?
16:01Come on, what about it, Rodney?
16:02Hey?
16:03A lot of work and effort's gone into this enterprise.
16:06Hey?
16:06My granddad, he was uptown this morning at the crack of dawn,
16:10distributing all these leaflets to every hotel, boarding house and hostel he could find.
16:15Granddad, he believes in this scheme, don't you, granddad?
16:19Ethnic tours, it's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
16:22See?
16:24Del, you can't expect me to work all night,
16:27then in the morning drive a busload of tourists round ethnic London.
16:31I've got to sleep, Del.
16:32Oh, my old buddy's crying out for sleep.
16:35Yeah, yeah.
16:37I'll tell you what I'll do.
16:38I'll get you some assistance at the garage, eh?
16:41And then you can have a kip.
16:42I'll get you an ex-police dog.
16:45An ex-police dog?
16:47Yeah.
16:48Now, do you fancy some breakfast?
16:50Oh, I wouldn't say no, Del.
16:51Good, great.
16:52Come on, then.
16:53Off we go.
16:53There you go, innit?
16:54While you're in there, make me a bacon sandwich, all right?
16:58Where are you going to get an ex-police dog from?
17:02I'll get him...
17:03I'll get him Nero.
17:05Who's Nero?
17:06Nero.
17:08Janice's Corgi.
17:08We clearly stated on our leaflets that nine o'clock was departure time.
17:35Here we are, 11.30.
17:38No sign of them.
17:39I've told you before, no-one will turn up.
17:42Yes, they will.
17:44As soon as the word spreads about a bit, they'll be here in droves.
17:47Now, the only thing that worries me is, is a 59-seater bus going to be big enough?
17:52I think perhaps we should have had two, you know, maybe three.
17:54A tandem would be too big.
17:56Leave me out, will you?
17:58Yeah, I'll bet you not one single tourist arrives.
18:03I'll bet you 50 quid they do.
18:05Right, 50 quid, you're on.
18:08Right, then.
18:08All right.
18:09Right.
18:09Right.
18:10Right.
18:11Right.
18:11Shut up, you two, will you?
18:14I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, taking that rotten dog for walkies and what have you.
18:19That's a funny kind of police dog, that deal.
18:22It saw a cat and run a mile.
18:25Ah, well, cats aren't Nero's strong point.
18:28Show him a burglar and it becomes a tower of strength.
18:32Where's all these tourists, then?
18:34I thought we'd be having an ethnic look round Chingford by now.
18:38Don't worry, they'll be here.
18:41Shut up, you.
18:43What are you charging them for this tour, then?
18:4717 quid each.
18:4917 pounds for a walkabout in Croydon?
18:52Well, that includes lunch, doesn't it?
18:54Traditional British fare.
18:56Donner kebab, something like that.
18:58Donner kebab.
18:59For 17 nicker, I'd want Donna Summers.
19:02Well, you would, wouldn't you, you tightwad?
19:04Now, these tourists, they don't mind splashing out before I didn't get in value for money.
19:09Now, look at that.
19:10They'll snap these souvenirs of oldie London up, they will.
19:14Look at that.
19:15It's a snip, that is, out of five or a go.
19:17Almost alabaster, you know.
19:19You're going to sell them models of a Roman statue, now housed in the Louvre Gallery in Paris, for souvenirs of old London?
19:26It's the Venus de Milo, Del.
19:28No, that is Bodicea, that is, isn't it, eh?
19:32Bodicea rode round in a chariot with big swords sticking out the wheels.
19:37All right, so she fell off her chariot.
19:38You're just trying to rip them off, aren't you?
19:42Au contraire, Rodney.
19:44Au contraire.
19:46Oh.
19:47I don't want to leave them potless.
19:49I want them to have some money in their pockets.
19:51At least enough for us to have a tip.
19:53As a courier, what do you actually know about these obscure places you intend to drag them to?
19:58Oh, I know.
20:01Nothing.
20:02At least twice as much as they know.
20:04Don't worry, I shall bluff them, Rodney.
20:06I shall use the old spiel.
20:07If they ask me any questions that I find a bit dodgy to answer, I shall just say, I can't understand their English.
20:13Huh?
20:13Don't worry.
20:15Be a doddle.
20:15I mean, today, I shall take them down to Shoreditch and show them the house where Sherlock Holmes was born.
20:26Sherlock Holmes was fictional.
20:28Was he?
20:29Oh, well, I'll just say his house got blown up during the war.
20:32Tomorrow, I shall take them to the summit of Mount Pleasant.
20:36The summit of Mount Pleasant?
20:39What's the matter with you, Grandad?
20:40Can't you stay a night or something?
20:41Mount Pleasant hasn't got a summit.
20:43All he's got is a big post office sorting depot.
20:49That's ethnic, innit, eh?
20:51We can give them a guided tour of the depot.
20:53You know, show them the workers getting the most from the post.
20:57I said, stay awake if I was you.
20:59They'll be here and there are hundreds in a minute.
21:07I'll take them over to North London.
21:10You know, show them where Jack the Ripper was buried.
21:12Nobody knows where Jack the Ripper was buried.
21:15Well, they can't prove me wrong then, can they, eh?
21:20Shall we give them another five minutes and go, Bill?
21:23Yeah, all right.
21:24Take the bus back to the garage and you can begin your night shift, all right?
21:27Cheers, Bill.
21:28I want you back first thing in the morning, though.
21:30And don't forget to take Nero out so he can do his business.
21:34Really?
21:48Pina lager, Rodney.
21:50I sold right out of Pina Coladas, Del, so I got your Mackieson instead.
21:55All right, good thinking.
21:58Yes, thank you, Grandad.
22:02What are you going to do if the tourists start asking about the history of places?
22:06I mean, say one of them wants to know how the Elephant and Castle got his name.
22:09Well, I'll just say, um, once upon a time, Richard the Lionheart, or Cœur de Lyon, as the French used to call him, which he did not like one little bit.
22:21See where a little bit of intimate knowledge goes a long way in impressing people?
22:25Well, I'll say that he had a castle situated roughly near the roundabout.
22:28Well, I'll say, uh, Hannibal and his elephants, they lay siege to the castle, and Bob's your uncle.
22:41Across the Alps?
22:43Huh?
22:44I know, on his way to the castles.
22:46And the natives who had never seen an elephant, they were sorely afraid.
22:52And that is how it became known in that area as the Elephant and Castle.
22:57Look, if they'd never seen an elephant before, how did they know it was an elephant?
23:06For God's sake, Grandad, an elephant's a bloody elephant, isn't it?
23:09I mean, you can't watch that.
23:11I mean, you can't look at an elephant and say, oh, no, we'll call this place the Cowan Castle.
23:15You can't do that, can you?
23:17But you're not telling them the truth, are you?
23:19The truth.
23:20The truth.
23:20You're so naive, Rodders.
23:23The truth is only relative to what you can earn from a lie.
23:26Yeah, Einstein.
23:28I'll tell you one truth that you won't earn a brass farthing out of.
23:32No one's going to turn up.
23:34They will turn up.
23:36They've got to.
23:37This time next year, we'll be millionaires.
23:39You said that this time last year.
23:45No, you're eating, ain't you?
23:46No, I wanted to do this for years, Rodney.
23:54I always thought if we could make a success of it, that eventually we would go legit.
24:00You know, we would register the name Trotters Independent Traders as a proper McCoy company.
24:06I have this dream.
24:10You and I own this skyscraper office block on the South Bank.
24:14And we're standing on the balcony in a penthouse suite with a couple of sorts.
24:20Gabrielle.
24:22Bianca.
24:25Braless, but with class.
24:28Yeah, did you know your Janice doesn't wear a bra?
24:30Yeah, I know.
24:30Oh, you know.
24:32We're in a penthouse full of rubber plants and pine tongue and groove and we're sipping red drinks.
24:41And above us, on top of the skyscraper, in 50-foot-high neon lettering, are the initials of Trotters Independent Traders.
24:50Good, isn't it, eh?
24:52Terrific, Dale.
24:53Yeah.
24:54No, they've got to come.
24:56My dream starts the way every success starts.
24:58Got a great big rip-off.
25:01Dale, Grandad's right.
25:03No one's going to turn up.
25:04Yes, they will.
25:05You wait and see.
25:08I think that dream of yours contains a subliminal message.
25:11Yeah.
25:13Do what?
25:13A sort of subconscious truth.
25:16You see this skyscraper belonging to Trotters Independent Traders, right?
25:20Yeah.
25:21And on the roof are the company's initials and you're standing on the penthouse balcony.
25:26Well, don't you see what the dream's trying to tell you?
25:28As you're standing on that balcony with your red drink, just above your head, in 50-foot-high neon lettering, is the word...
25:36...Tit.
25:37Come on, let's call it a day.
25:49LAUGHTER
25:50You owe me 50 quid on that bet, eh?
25:58Oh, all right, you old pessimist.
26:05SIGHS
26:06What about our wages then, Dale?
26:23Oh, yeah.
26:24I meant to talk to you about that.
26:25I meant to talk to you about that.
26:27I thought that was going to be the big one, Rodney.
26:43I thought I was going to be the Freddy Laker of the highways.
26:53Nice try, Dale.
26:54Yeah.
26:55I don't understand it, though.
26:56I just don't understand it.
26:57Grandad distributed a thousand litres.
26:58A thousand.
26:59You'd have thought that one, just one punter, might have been interested.
27:03Still, as dear old Mum used to say, it's better to know you've lost, but not to know you've won.
27:15Dear old Mum, she used to say some bloody stupid things.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21Chuck this down a chute.
27:2330, 35, 40, 45, 50.
27:29Well, that weren't too bad, was it, Rodney?
27:32I've had two days away from the housework, a nice little drink, and I've won meself a 50 quid bet.
27:40Very nice. Very nice indeed.
27:44Where's Dale Boy?
27:46Oh, he's just gone to chuck that sign down a dust shoe.
27:49Ah, a dust shoe.
27:52Oh, my God.
27:54Brain dead!
27:56Come here, you senile old parasite.
28:02It wasn't me, Dale Boy.
28:04It was me brain.
28:06It wasn't your...
28:07I'll brain you if I catch hold of you!
28:10Come here, get it!
28:11Shut up and all!
28:12What?
28:13What?
28:17Huh?
28:18I can run my brain in my brain.
28:19Love!
28:20I can run your brain.
28:22I can run out of tools out in my brain.
28:24No, no.
28:25Where's Dale Boy?
28:26I can run down data basically,
28:31I can run my brain down,
28:33I can run away at all.
28:34You have to work a lot all Blaze work to make.
28:36Puerto Rico,
28:37it feels like Anchor,
28:39obviously,
28:40I'm going to run more times.