- 7/14/2025
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:01A toast to my movie opening.
00:03It's gonna be great to see it in a theater full of real fans,
00:06surrounded by the people closest to me.
00:08Oh, here, here.
00:12Oh, I forgot.
00:14I'm a recovering alcoholic.
00:18What can you do?
00:21Oh, I have some other huge news.
00:23Bobby just closed a three-picture deal
00:25with Warner Brothers for me.
00:27Joey, that's awesome.
00:28Yeah, that's great, Joe.
00:29And how much did it cost for you to sell your soul?
00:31This from a guy who just sold his sperm for $25.
00:33Hey, you know, they originally offered $20.
00:36You gotta be willing to walk away.
00:37Am I right, Alex?
00:39Well, I think it's great.
00:40They're gonna let him pick out his own movie project?
00:42Yeah, I get an office.
00:43I get to hire a development executive.
00:45I got my own production company.
00:46I'm gonna call it Yes, I am a Bird Productions,
00:48because if you take all the letters and Joey Tribbiani
00:51and you rearrange them, that's what you get.
00:54Wait.
00:55No, you don't.
00:56There's no S in your name.
00:57There's no D.
00:58There's no M.
01:01That's your opinion, isn't it?
01:04Check this out.
01:05When someone calls the office,
01:06my development executive is gonna answer the phone.
01:08Yes, I am a Bird Productions.
01:09Wah, wah, wah.
01:12Wah, wah, wah.
01:13Why?
01:14Because that's my catchphrase.
01:15I say it all the time.
01:17Anytime I walk in or out of a room.
01:19You've never said that?
01:20Yeah.
01:21You don't know how I wanted that wrong.
01:22I've never heard that.
01:23Really?
01:24Because I'm always thinking it.
01:28Let's get to the movie theater.
01:29I hate missing previews.
01:30All right.
01:31Here we go.
01:32Wah, wah, wah.
01:33Yeah.
01:34Yeah.
01:35I should see.
01:36Now.
01:37Yeah.
01:40If you wanna start now.
01:41Come on.
01:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:44Everything's gonna be alright.
01:45Mm I'ma run's chow.
01:46I'ma run's chow.
01:47You wanna be alright.
01:48You gotta watch all
01:50Come on.
01:51Everything's gotta be alright now.
01:53Everything's gonna be alright.
01:54Yeah.
01:55I'ma run's chow.
01:56I'ma run's chow.
01:57You wanna be alright.
01:58You gotta watch all
01:59Yeah.
02:00It's �ash.
02:01That was amazing.
02:09I mean, the audience was so into it, right?
02:11I've got to tell you, Joe, that was one sophisticated action movie.
02:13You know, I love the twist at the end when the old guy gives you the locket
02:16and you learn for the first time he's your father.
02:18My father?
02:20What movie were you watching?
02:23Joe, it's the same guy as the photo of your dad from the beginning.
02:27Oh, my God!
02:31That means that his wife was...
02:32Oh, my God!
02:37I've got this new job at the mall.
02:43I've got to pick up an extra shift tonight.
02:45My new boss has it in for me.
02:46What's he mad about this time?
02:48I blew off work to see this movie.
02:49Oh, Jimmy, you didn't have to do that.
02:51It's not your movie. I went and saw Capote this afternoon.
02:57Poor Jimmy.
02:58He's so brilliant, but he keeps getting stuck in these stupid jobs
03:00and screwing up because he's miserable there.
03:03Wait a second.
03:05I should hire him.
03:07I love Jimmy. He should be my development exec.
03:09He's the smartest guy I know.
03:11Plus, he's like a genius when it comes to movies.
03:13You saw the way he figured out the old man was my dad.
03:16Joey, it was you and old man makeup.
03:19Hey, Jimmy.
03:31How's it going? You got a sec?
03:32All right, Joe.
03:33You come to see me or check out this store's curiously nipply mannequins?
03:37No, no.
03:38Look, come on.
03:39You're wasting your time here.
03:40How about you come and work with me at my production company?
03:43Oh, hey, man.
03:43I mean, that'd be cool and everything.
03:44I don't think I should leave this job, though.
03:46And I found that I have a real knack for retail.
03:47Excuse me? How do I look in this?
03:50Is it for work or leisure?
03:51It's for work.
03:52What's your job? You're a fat prostitute.
03:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:59Look, come on, huh? It'll be fun.
04:01It'll be like when we were ten, only now it won't be so weird that you have a beard.
04:05You really want to hire me?
04:06Yeah. You're someone I trust.
04:08You're the smartest guy I know. I need you.
04:12I mean, I have to admit, it sounds pretty good, all right?
04:13But I don't want any charity, all right?
04:15I want to interview for the job just like everybody else.
04:17Who got us?
04:18Okay.
04:19Well, you're not wrong about these mannequins.
04:20Yeah, it's an actual woman, Joe.
04:23And then I got some apologizing to do on the way in.
04:26I stuck a water gum on her.
04:27I guess I'll have to replace this.
04:40Oh, my God. It's happening.
04:46Alex, it's Joey. He's doing it. Get over here.
04:48Oh, hey, Michael.
04:54Hey.
04:56Here we go.
04:57Hello.
05:06Oh.
05:06Oh.
05:07Oh.
05:38If anybody wants any water, it's all set.
05:57That was the best one ever.
06:01Oh, I really needed that this morning.
06:04I've been in kind of a funk.
06:05Why? What's going on?
06:06No, it was...
06:08Dean and I broke up.
06:10Oh, Alex.
06:11Yeah, I'm sorry.
06:13Please hang on.
06:14This is your chance.
06:16Oh, tell me what happened.
06:18Well, it's kind of a bummer, but I guess it was inevitable
06:21because he was just always so...
06:23Hey, look.
06:26You okay?
06:27I'm here.
06:27Yeah, I will be.
06:29Oh, thanks.
06:30Look, I just want you to know, you need anything at all, and I mean anything.
06:34I am right here.
06:36Well, I'm so glad you said that, because I know you've been thinking about us getting together,
06:40and I've been thinking about it too, but what I really need right now is a friend, so...
06:45Oh, wow.
06:49Thank you, Joey.
06:50Yeah.
06:52Hey, Joey, check this out.
06:53Yeah.
06:53This is a site where people rate movies after seeing them.
06:56People are loving your movie.
06:57On a scale from 1 to 10, it's getting an average rating of 9.7.
07:01Wow.
07:01This is so exciting.
07:03Wait, someone gave it a zero.
07:05What didn't he like?
07:07Joey Tribbiani is the worst actor ever.
07:09Me?
07:11He didn't like me?
07:11Click on that guy's link.
07:13He's got his own website.
07:15It's coming up.
07:16Oh.
07:18JoeyTribbianiSocks.com?
07:21That settles it.
07:22I'm getting the computer.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:26Lame shows, lame girlfriends.
07:28What's this?
07:29Joey's Confession.
07:31Click on that.
07:32I pig my nose and eat it.
07:36I'm pig.
07:37I know.
07:38You can't eat it.
07:41Each one of those clips was from a different part I played.
07:44To put this together, you're just how to sit down and watch everything I've ever done.
07:48We're dealing with a madman.
07:57Hey.
07:58I'm so glad you're here.
07:59This is going to be great.
08:00I remember, though.
08:01I only want this job if I can earn it fair and square.
08:03Right.
08:03Fair and square.
08:04Good morning, everyone.
08:06Wah, wah, wah.
08:10Oh, hi.
08:11Hey, could you wait outside with the other candidates?
08:13No, I'm sitting in on the meetings.
08:16I'm Trent.
08:17From the studio.
08:19Senior VP of Development.
08:20Oh, hey.
08:21Great to meet you.
08:23We've met 30 times.
08:25Oh.
08:26I'm sorry.
08:27Hey, but don't take it personally.
08:28Yesterday, I had a meeting with a guy who said he's met me like 29 times.
08:34Okay, let's get started.
08:35James Costa?
08:39How you doing?
08:42Hi.
08:42How you doing?
08:43Good.
08:45So why don't you tell us a little something about yourself, Mr. Costa?
08:48I just moved to the West Coast.
08:50I'm seeking employment in the entertainment industry.
08:52It would be an honor to work at Warner Brothers with its rich pedigree of such films as Casablanca
08:57and the Melty's Falcon.
09:00Okay, uh, your resume ends after high school.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04Are my papers not in order?
09:05They're commandant!
09:07I think what Trent meant was that it'd just be nice to know what you've been up to since then.
09:12That's a fair question, Trent.
09:13Um, well, it's been a bit of a rough ride.
09:17You know, well, there were some setbacks, you know, uh, mainly because Hector set me up, man!
09:23Okay, you know what, Tom?
09:27Can you, uh, can you wait for us outside for a second?
09:30That'd be great, Mr. Costa.
09:31Out of my chair!
09:32Okay.
09:37I think we found our guy.
09:45I hacked into JoeyCribbianiSucks.com.
09:47I got the guy's address.
09:48It is the work of one Gary Spindler.
09:50He lives right in L.A.
09:52Really?
09:52You know what?
09:54Maybe I'd go pay Mr. Gary Spindler a little visit.
09:57Wow, Joey, I love the new office.
10:01Huh?
10:01It's spacious and it's elegantly furnished.
10:05But you know what you could use?
10:09Ah, you got one!
10:13Is Jimmy showing up yet?
10:14Not yet.
10:15You know, he was a little shaky in his interview, and now he's late for his first day.
10:19Well, you need to set the tone with a new employee.
10:21You gotta keep him in line.
10:23No!
10:26She hits you?
10:27It's okay.
10:28I hit her back.
10:29Ah!
10:33Hey, guys.
10:33Hey, Jimmy.
10:34Jim, look.
10:35If you're gonna be working here, you gotta be on time.
10:37What are you talking about?
10:38I've been here since six in the morning.
10:39Just went out to get some coffee.
10:40What?
10:41Yeah, just finished reading all these scripts.
10:43Found a couple of things that might be good for you.
10:45Take a look at those.
10:46Read my notes.
10:47I also set up a bunch of meetings with different writers and directors.
10:49We're gonna find something great for you.
10:50Yes, I'm a Bird Productions.
10:54Wah, wah, wah.
10:57Okay, Trent.
10:58Yeah, pencil us in for tomorrow.
10:59Okay.
11:00All right, babe.
11:00Jimmy, wow.
11:03I gotta say, I am impressed.
11:05This is a whole new you.
11:07I take this job very seriously.
11:08I'm excited about the things we're gonna accomplish together.
11:10In fact, we've got a lot of work to do.
11:11Everybody out!
11:12Hey, you guys wanna go ride bikes or something?
11:16Ah, it's you.
11:18Come on, Joe.
11:20Stop messing around.
11:20Let's get to work.
11:21You're being a little intense.
11:23Well, I'm being a little intense.
11:25Have a seat, okay?
11:27This is the first job in 20 years where I haven't had to wash something or fold something
11:30or swallow something and get on a plane, okay?
11:34I finally got a shot to use my brain, to use my creativity, so you tell me something,
11:38all right?
11:38Am I too intense?
11:39Huh?
11:39Am I?
11:40Or am I just an employer who cares so deeply about Yes, I am a Bird Productions that I got
11:45it tattooed on my ass?
11:55Gary Spindler?
11:56Yes.
11:56Can I help you?
11:57Yeah.
11:58You can look me in the face and tell me I suck.
12:00I'm sorry.
12:01I don't know who you are.
12:02Oh, really?
12:03You don't want to tell me that I suck?
12:04Okay, we'll start small then.
12:05Why don't you tell me about how I pick my butt or eat my boogers?
12:10Sir, I really don't know what you're talking about.
12:14Seriously?
12:15Do you not run the website?
12:17Who's at the door, Daddy?
12:19Joey Tribbiani?
12:20You know this man?
12:21Yeah.
12:22He sucks.
12:23So, turns out the guy who hates me is an 11-year-old girl.
12:33Really?
12:34What'd you say to her?
12:35Well, I told her she should get to know the real me, so I took her out for the afternoon.
12:38I charmed the pants.
12:39I charmed her.
12:45Hello?
12:46Oh, hey, Jimmy.
12:47Not here.
12:48Uh, sorry.
12:48No, Joey's not here.
12:49It's just me and my mom.
12:52Uh, striped shirt and a very tight skirt.
12:56Well, I'm not going to ask her that, but if I had to guess, she probably is good to go yet.
13:00He guessed right, honey!
13:03Are you avoiding Jimmy?
13:07Yeah.
13:07He is totally obsessed with this job.
13:10We have this general, like, get-to-know-you meeting with the studio this week, and he made
13:14me sit there for hours while we came up with a 10-year plan for the company.
13:18Was that good?
13:19No!
13:19It's too much!
13:20He says we're going to start with movies.
13:22Then, we've got to buy a cable network and cellular towers.
13:25I just want creative control over my films so that I can cast women with big bazoingas!
13:32Hey, guys.
13:34Hey, what's going on?
13:34Oh, I just got back from Dean's, picking up all my stuff.
13:38Oh, I'm sorry.
13:39So, you want to come over later and watch a movie with me?
13:41I could use the company.
13:42Yeah, sure.
13:43Yeah, anything you need, pal.
13:44Okay.
13:50Must be hard having to beat her shoulder to cry on her.
13:53I know.
13:54It's driving me crazy.
13:55Hey, Joey.
13:56I just checked the website.
13:57That girl's attacking you more than ever now.
13:58What?
13:59Hey, look.
13:59She's got a new audio file, too.
14:01I want to kiss boys for money!
14:04I mean, she is a really good editor.
14:09That's not an edit.
14:10That's the way I've read the line.
14:21Hi, Mr. Spindler.
14:22I'm the guy from the internet.
14:23I was wondering if I could spend some time alone with your daughter.
14:26Kaylee, Joey's here.
14:27You two have a great time.
14:31I'm going to take a walk around the block and see what's what.
14:38What do you want?
14:40I saw your website.
14:41Pretty mean, Kaylee.
14:42Or should I say Kay-lame?
14:45What are you doing?
14:46Well, I figured if you think it's so cool to make fun of people,
14:48maybe I should come down here and make fun of you.
14:50Nice bedspread, Holly Harby.
14:52Yeah, well, nice braided belt.
14:55My mom gave me this.
14:58You must be Amanda.
15:00So, Amanda.
15:02Fart in science much?
15:05Why don't you just shut up?
15:07You started this.
15:08Why do you hate me so much anyway, huh?
15:10Was my movie really that bad?
15:11I never even saw your stupid movie.
15:14You didn't?
15:15No, but Brad did.
15:18Well, who's Brad?
15:19Only like your biggest fan in the world.
15:22He couldn't care less about me, but you.
15:24He dresses like you.
15:25He has your poster in his locker.
15:26He worships you.
15:28Well, tell him to get my action figure,
15:29because they're not selling so good.
15:32Look, every time I see your face
15:35in a magazine, on a billboard,
15:37I think of him.
15:38Like, it's not enough we have to see each other
15:40every day at school.
15:41And we have all the same friends.
15:44Friends.
15:44That's all I am to him.
15:46Just another friend.
15:49Okay, well, what would you say
15:51if I told you I had the same exact problem you do?
15:54Yeah, right.
15:55Her name's Alex, okay?
15:56She's my neighbor.
15:57I am crazy about her,
15:59and she just wants to be my friend.
16:01Really?
16:02Yeah.
16:03So every time the phone rings,
16:04you always hope it's gonna be her?
16:05Totally.
16:06And do you ever forget about her,
16:07and then you run into her,
16:08and you're totally obsessed again?
16:10Oh, yeah.
16:10So I go out, I have a few drinks,
16:12and I find a girl who looks just like her,
16:13and then I...
16:14So you're 11.
16:17I even made this incredible collage for him
16:19with all these pictures we were in together.
16:21I gave it to him in homeroom,
16:23and he just left it there.
16:24Yeah.
16:25And a collage is, like,
16:27the nicest thing you can give someone.
16:28Well, hey,
16:29if it makes you feel any better,
16:30I think Brad is an idiot.
16:31Yeah, well, I think Alex is a jerk,
16:33and I hate her for not liking you.
16:35Well, thanks, Kayleigh.
16:37You're actually pretty cool.
16:39You are, too.
16:41Look, I'm sorry about the stuff
16:42I put on the website.
16:43Oh, that's okay.
16:46Oh.
16:48Hey!
16:50Who's up for pizza?
16:52I am, yeah!
16:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
17:00Joe, where the hell have you been?
17:01Trent's already in there.
17:02Well, will you relax?
17:03It's gonna be fine.
17:04It's not gonna be fine.
17:05You were supposed to meet me
17:05at 4 a.m. at Starbucks this morning
17:07to go over ideas.
17:08They're not even open at 4.
17:10I said I'd bring coffee.
17:14Great, you're here.
17:15Let's begin?
17:16Okay.
17:19So, just stopped by
17:21to say welcome aboard.
17:22Great, well, we're just
17:23real happy to be here.
17:25If you'd come to the meeting this morning,
17:27you would've known
17:27that's the worst thing
17:28you could've said.
17:30Is there something
17:31you'd like to add?
17:31Yes.
17:33How would you feel
17:34if we could make this studio
17:36a cool 200 billion dollars?
17:41How would you propose
17:42to do that?
17:43Here's the progression.
17:44Synergies, branding,
17:46marketing,
17:48and a democratic Iran.
17:52I'm sorry,
17:53that's just a little...
17:54Do you not know
17:55the word crazy
17:56or are you just afraid
17:57to say it?
17:59Ah, so this is it, huh?
18:00This is the power play.
18:01This is where you take over.
18:02Yes, I'm a bird productions.
18:04I am Yes, I'm a bird productions.
18:06And we are supposed
18:06to make movies.
18:08Just movies, Jim.
18:09Not tanks
18:09to sell to Eastern Europe.
18:11Hey, you know damn well
18:12the military arm
18:13isn't operational
18:13until 2012.
18:15You are totally
18:16out of control.
18:17Yeah, and you got no vision.
18:18You got a chance
18:19to do something huge here.
18:20Don't you want
18:20to do something huge?
18:21No, I don't, Jim.
18:23I want to be lazy
18:24and hang out, okay?
18:25I want to waste
18:26all the studio's money
18:27on expensive lunches
18:28and ridiculous gifts.
18:30I want to squeeze
18:31this place
18:32for as much as possible
18:33and do as little
18:34as I can get away with.
18:35Hey, man,
18:36don't tell Trent about this.
18:37That guy's a real tool.
18:38Okay, another great meeting.
18:42By the way,
18:43I'm Trent.
18:47What, is everybody
18:48at the studio
18:49named Trent?
18:53Holly weird, huh?
18:54They do not like Italians.
18:57I don't think
18:58that was the problem.
18:59Okay, look.
19:00All right, I'm going
19:01to cut to the chase, Jim.
19:02I don't think
19:02this is working out.
19:03I know.
19:04We keep clashing.
19:05Yeah, so maybe it's time
19:06one of us left.
19:07Yes, I am a Bird Productions.
19:12Well, I guess you're right.
19:17It ain't going to be
19:22the same without you, man.
19:23I wasn't talking about me.
19:26I see.
19:27Okay.
19:28Jim, I'm sorry
19:28it didn't work out,
19:29but I think this is
19:30the best thing
19:30for a friendship.
19:32You're probably right.
19:34All right.
19:34All right.
19:35You mind if I get that,
19:38you know,
19:38one last time
19:39for old time's sake?
19:40Sure, yeah.
19:43Yes, I'm a Bird Productions
19:45wah-wah-wah.
19:47No, I'm sorry.
19:48We're not going to be
19:50able to go there.
19:53Go where?
19:55Space, Joe.
19:55The final frontier.
19:56Yeah.
19:56Yeah.
19:56Yeah.
19:56Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:57Yeah.
19:58Yeah.
19:58Yeah.
19:58Yeah.
19:58Yeah.
19:59Yeah.
19:59Yeah.
19:59Yeah.
20:00Yeah.
20:00Yeah.
20:01Yeah.
20:01Yeah.
20:02Yeah.
20:02Yeah.
20:03Yeah.
20:03Yeah.
20:04Yeah.
20:05I know you've been
20:09feeling kind of down
20:10lately, so I have
20:11something for you.
20:16Oh, it's a collage.
20:19Yeah.
20:19Yeah, the theme
20:20is good times.
20:21I glued pictures
20:22of the two of us
20:23together in different
20:23places that I'd like
20:24to go with you.
20:25Like the Grand Canyon,
20:26Paris, Venice.
20:28Where's this?
20:29We're standing next
20:30to a giant scented candle?
20:31Yeah, I ran out of
20:33good pictures, so I had
20:34to use the Pottery Barn
20:35catalog.
20:37Wow.
20:38Us in London?
20:38That looks like fun.
20:40That's a really good
20:41picture of us.
20:43We look really good
20:44together.
20:46Well, I don't know
20:47what to say.
20:48Joey, this is really
20:49sweet.
20:49What made you think
20:50to do this?
20:51Alex, everyone knows
20:52a collage is, like,
20:53the nicest thing
20:54you can do for someone.
20:58Well, thank you.
20:59I really love it.
21:00Oh.
21:03I'll see you later.
21:04Okay.
21:14Kaylee, hey, it's Joey.
21:16Okay, I just gave it to her
21:17and I think she is
21:18starting to like me,
21:19like me.
21:22Okay, hey, so,
21:23what happened with Brad
21:24in school today?
21:25No way.
21:26He did not.
21:27Michael, I'm on the phone.
21:32God!
21:34Let's do that!
21:36Let's do it!
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