- 7/4/2025
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Jimmy, Jimmy, I've detected aliens with your new telescope!
00:22They're gross and bloated with the horrible swaying tentacles!
00:26Sheen, you've got the telescope pointed at Carl's mole.
00:29It's not a mole, it's a beauty mark!
00:32I'm putting cream on it.
00:34Wow, the universe is so vast and intricate.
00:39I'm bored.
00:41Libs, keep an eye on Mars for me.
00:43It's been acting weird all night.
00:45Is that...?
00:47Oh, the amino acid?
00:48Girl, you brought us here just so you could flirt with Jimmy!
00:51Did not!
00:52I'm here because Jimmy values my scientific input!
00:55Why don't those two just get a lab?
00:58Hey, Neutron, have you checked out Mars?
01:03Huh?
01:04Mars is old news.
01:05I'm spotting comets!
01:07But it's been showing huge fluctuations in brightness.
01:12Definitely worth a good long look.
01:15What's that bewitching scent?
01:17You mean my perfume?
01:19I just splash this on when I don't care what I smell like.
01:22Hmm.
01:23I mean, look, a comet!
01:25You do this every time!
01:29You invite me someplace and then you ignore my contributions!
01:33Can't talk.
01:34Taking star pictures.
01:35When a colleague suggests that you look at Mars, it's polite to look at Mars!
01:40There!
01:41See?
01:42Pretty!
01:43I told you Mars was acting weird.
01:45Good thing the scope was taking pictures.
01:47Goddard, download images.
01:48Holy Heisenberg!
01:49Look at the size of that flare!
01:50Check it out, everybody!
01:51It's New Year's on Monday!
01:52It's New Year's on Monday!
01:53It's New Year's on Monday!
01:54There!
01:55There!
01:56See?
01:57Pretty!
01:58I told you Mars was acting weird!
01:59Good thing the scope was taking pictures!
02:00Goddard, download images!
02:01Holy Heisenberg!
02:02Look at the size of that flare!
02:03Check it out, everybody!
02:04It's New Year's on Mars!
02:05Happy March and New Year!
02:06Eww!
02:07At least I won't be alone again like last year.
02:08It's not New Year's, you dipstick!
02:09It's some kind of energy beam firing out into space.
02:10And not just any energy!
02:11Hydrogen, and we're doing good.
02:12It's a little fun thing.
02:13I'm so happy.
02:14I'm so happy.
02:15I'm so happy.
02:16I'm so happy.
02:17I'm so happy.
02:18About my life!
02:19I'm so happy.
02:20I'm so happy.
02:21I'm so happy.
02:22I'm so happy.
02:23I'm so happy.
02:24I'm so happy.
02:25I'm so happy.
02:26I'm so happy.
02:27I'm so happy.
02:28into space and not just any energy hydro quantum energy hydro quantum i read about that stuff you
02:34could power an entire city with just one ice cube or the world with just one flush of the toilet to
02:39mars sorry am i getting ahead of everyone of course if i did go to mars and tap into the
02:45hydro quantum i could shatter every known boundary of science excuse me anyone else notice the earth
02:52shaking there's only one hope we must appease them oh great alien masters we worship you please
03:10destroy someone else may i suggest the french attention italy prepare to be stopped that's
03:18no alien excuse me this is a private party is that who i think it is how delicious
03:36hello neutron it's that spoiled rich kid who has it in for jimmy you sis stretch i thought you were
03:43grounded for life yes well my daddy's wheel is easily manipulated so jimmy did you forget that
03:49i'd sworn everlasting vengeance against you it sort of slipped my mind because i have a life you
03:54loser don't get sussy with me you're on strict property state your business don't do it jimmy
04:00don't tell him about the limitless power source you found on mars and we're not going there to get the
04:04limitless power source if that's what you're thinking you mars sorry i just get excited neutron
04:13old bean you're keeping secrets that's not at all polite blix capture mode the ball has to reach
04:19think i'll take this mob of yours back to my lab for a good mind shifting
04:27talk to my lab for a good morning
04:29um
04:33uh
04:37uh
04:39uh
04:41uh
04:43uh
04:45uh
04:47uh
04:53uh
04:55Oh, the pain!
05:06Too bad, old bean.
05:07Hope your killer tripod was insured.
05:09Ta-ta!
05:10You won't escape, Neutron.
05:12My undying hatred shall pursue you without rest.
05:16But first I think I'll slip into unconsciousness.
05:25More schnitzing, Gruber, Carl.
05:37Danke!
05:39Good job, Goddard.
05:41We should be ready to leave in about three days.
05:43Okay, Neutron.
05:44We're here for our mission briefing.
05:47Cindy?
05:48What did you do to your face?
05:50Oh, just some radiation-proof lip gloss and eyeliner.
05:53Deep space is rough on a girl's skin.
05:55You know.
05:59I don't know.
06:01I mean, it doesn't matter.
06:03You're not coming.
06:03What?
06:04But you're taking Carl and Sheen,
06:05and all they do is sit around eating schnitzingruber.
06:07Soy-based, low-carb schnitzingruber.
06:10Yeah, this guy was giving out free samples.
06:13We even got complimentary schnitzingruber farks.
06:16Hmm.
06:17It's so light, I don't even have to loosen my new stretch pants.
06:21Well, Sheen and Carl won't distract me.
06:23I mean, not that you distract me.
06:25Why would you distract me?
06:26That would be silly.
06:27Look, Neutron.
06:28I discovered that flare.
06:30I put on space makeup, and I'm coming to Mars.
06:32Clear!
06:33Fine.
06:33Whatever.
06:34Just stay out of my way.
06:37Do you think he likes my lip gloss?
06:38You are ill, girl.
06:40Well, if you have to come along, then here's the deal.
06:42Here's Mars, just as the flare erupted.
06:47You can see the energy source located right here.
06:49Hmm.
06:51Hmm.
06:55Ha-ha!
06:56I knew those chuckle-headed plebeians
06:58couldn't pass up free schnitzingruber.
07:00That is because I make them mit love.
07:03I want the tripod repaired and modified in three days.
07:06When Neutron arrives on Mars,
07:08he's going to find a little surprise waiting for him.
07:18Oh, no!
07:19I forgot my inhaler!
07:21Carl, we're already here!
07:23Ready for landing sequence!
07:24Do you like my new flight suit, Libby?
07:26It's perfect for resisting the strong Martian winds.
07:30Whatever.
07:30Huh?
07:33You think I've been staring at you the whole trip?
07:35Well, I haven't.
07:35What?
07:36No one asked you to!
07:37Well, fine!
07:38Stop annoying me!
07:39What?
07:40You rude little twerp!
07:41I'll knock you all over the asteroid belt!
07:45What's going on?
07:51We've been hit by proton blasts!
07:54Systems are offline!
07:57You're dead in space.
07:59Who's doing this?
08:01I'm guessing it's that guy.
08:04No.
08:05It can't be.
08:08Hello again, Jimmy.
08:10What do you want, Stritch?
08:12Do you have a spare inhaler?
08:14I know all about the energy source, James,
08:16and I intend to make its power my own.
08:19Hydroquantum energy will make me
08:21the most powerful 11-year-old in the solar system.
08:23I shall rule the red planet as the first king of Mars!
08:27Eustace, as your mortal enemy,
08:32let me just say,
08:34get some therapy!
08:36Blix, blow them out of space!
08:38Launching torpedoes in ten.
08:40Neinen.
08:41Eaten.
08:45I can charge one bank of disruptors,
08:47but there's no way to aim
08:48while we're drifting like this.
08:49Three, two, eins, two!
09:01This might be it, guys.
09:04Gotcha!
09:18Now, reload.
09:22Reload!
09:23Yeah!
09:24Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
09:25Booyah!
09:26He'll have to ditch on the surface.
09:28Good thing you brought me along, Neutron.
09:30My airlock maneuver totally rocks!
09:32It also sent us spiraling down towards the surface!
09:36Oops.
09:37Can't stop our forward momentum!
09:38Power cells are responding!
09:39Oh, oh, Jimmy!
09:40Can I say brace for impact?
09:41Sure!
09:42Eh, I suck at that.
09:43Let's just off-screen.
09:44Woo-ah!
09:45Woo-ah!
09:46Woo-ah!
09:47Woo-ah!
09:48Woo-ah!
09:49Woo-ah!
09:50Woo-ah!
09:51Woo-ah!
09:52Woo-ah!
09:53Woo-ah!
09:54Woo-ah!
09:55Woo-ah!
09:56Woo-ah!
09:57Woo-ah!
09:58Woo-ah!
09:59Woo-ah!
10:00Woo-ah!
10:01Woo-ah!
10:02Woo-ah!
10:03Woo-ah!
10:04Woo-ah!
10:05Woo-ah!
10:06Woo-ah!
10:07Woo-ah!
10:08Woo-ah!
10:09Woo-ah!
10:10Woo-ah!
10:11Woo-ah!
10:12Woo-ah!
10:13This is it!
10:14We're about to be turning to chunky salsa!
10:16If I could just squeeze one last charge out of the batteries!
10:24Yes!
10:25We made it!
10:26Yeah!
10:27Welcome to Mars, guys!
10:29Is it true that Mars has canals filled with creamy nougat?
10:32That's just a myth!
10:34But watch for the billowing forests of string cheese!
10:37That was our last drop of power from the main reactor!
10:40Well, we came here to find an unlimited power source.
10:42Maybe we can use it to get home!
10:44Just how far are we from this hydro-quantum energy thingy?
10:47Well, if Goddard's batteries hold out, we should be there in about...
10:5118 hours.
10:54Come on, everybody!
10:55There was a marsha made of goo and Ringo was his name-o!
10:59R-I-N-G-O!
11:01R-I-N-G-O!
11:05Oh, dash it all, Blix! This map makes no sense!
11:08Impossible, mein Herr!
11:09That's a spy picture we took of Jimmy's own map!
11:12You see?
11:13We are here!
11:14Next to this pink, meaty rock formation!
11:16That's not a rock formation!
11:18It's a piece of Schnitzengruber!
11:20Those two nitwits must have squished it against the camera lens!
11:23Owie!
11:24Ow!
11:25Owie, mein Herr!
11:26Owie!
11:27Neutron has the real map!
11:29We've got to track him down, Blix!
11:31Only by beating him to the energy source can I become the boy king of Mars!
11:35The race is on!
11:42E-R-K-O-N-Ringo was his name-o!
11:56We can camp here tonight, guys!
11:58According to my map, the power source is located just beyond this dry seabed!
12:06Shouldn't we keep moving, Jimmy?
12:09If we've gotten this far, maybe Eustace has too!
12:12Wow, Cindy!
12:13Under these moons, you look... almost... kind of...
12:19What?!
12:20I wasn't gazing at Cindy under the moonlight!
12:22I was working when she interrupted!
12:24Interrupted?!
12:25Who wants squeeze ham?!
12:27You dork!
12:28I'm the reason we're on this mission!
12:30You're also the reason we almost crashed!
12:32That's it!
12:33I make one mistake and you have to rub it in!
12:35Well, I've had it with you!
12:36Cindy, where are you going?
12:38Who cares?
12:39Apparently I'm not wanted around here!
12:40Well, Cindy, wait!
12:42I didn't mean it that way!
12:43Can I have her squeeze ham?
12:47That fudge-headed dork never did appreciate me!
12:50I'd love to show him what I really think of him!
12:52Ah!
12:53Ah!
12:54Put me down!
12:55I'm warning you!
12:56You know, it isn't safe for a girl to wander around Mars alone.
13:04I'll wander wherever I want, pretty breath!
13:07Had another falling out with Neutron?
13:09He can be such a ninny hammer!
13:11What do you care?
13:12Think I forgot how you tricked me the first time we met?
13:15Ah, Cynthia!
13:16I was young and foolish then!
13:19I now realize how resourceful and talented you really are!
13:23We make quite the team, you and I!
13:25The only thing we have in common is we both think Neutron's a jerk!
13:29So, um, tell me more about me being talented!
13:32Oh, we are so the perfect match, Cynthia!
13:35Help me get Neutron's Mars map and you'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams!
13:39You think I'd betray my friends that easily?
13:42Our alliance would make Neutron insanely jealous!
13:45I'm in!
13:46But no one gets hurt, right?
13:48You have my word.
13:50Wake up, Jimmy!
13:57I think I finally found a way to make you notice me!
14:01Huh?
14:02Cindy, what are you talking about?
14:04I've had love times!
14:06Pretty sweet, huh?
14:08Some guys just know how to treat a lady!
14:11Good morning, James!
14:15Have you met my new associates?
14:17Cindy, how could you?
14:21I have some apmine here!
14:24Hey, give that back!
14:26Aha!
14:27The energy source is just beyond this seabed!
14:29We can be there in minutes!
14:31Cindy, why?
14:33Because Eustace appreciates me,
14:35and because he's gonna make me stinking rich!
14:41Oh, yes, Cindy.
14:43About the, um, rich business...
14:47I share my wealth with no one!
14:49Ta-ta!
14:50Losers!
14:51You fink!
14:52I can't believe I let you betray me again!
14:55Cindy, what were you thinking?
14:57Some friend you are...
14:59Saccuse!
15:00But...
15:01Well, I...
15:02It's all your fault!
15:04What?
15:05Oh, don't act dumb!
15:06At least Eustace treated me like an equal!
15:08You act like I don't even exist!
15:10You are so clueless, Vortex!
15:12Of course I know you exist!
15:14That's why I pretend to ignore you!
15:16Oh!
15:17Pretend?
15:18You mean you've been acting like a complete dweeb because...
15:21He likes you!
15:23He thinks you're fine.
15:24I do not!
15:25I just think you're pretty smart and smell nice,
15:29and you kind of distract me sometimes.
15:32Wow, Jimmy.
15:33Thanks.
15:34You're welcome.
15:35Hopefully the next time this happens,
15:37you won't betray us to our enemies!
15:43Whoa!
15:44What do we do now?
15:45Stretch drained Goddard's batteries!
15:47There's no way we can beat him to the energy source now!
15:50This wind is as cold and icy as Cindy's soul!
16:10The wind?
16:11Wait a minute!
16:12Carl!
16:13You're wearing stretch pants, right?
16:15First you sell us out, then you mock my pants!
16:18Why, Cindy?
16:19Why?!
16:20No, wait!
16:21She's right!
16:22Carl!
16:23Pants off!
16:24Now!
16:25Your stretch pants make a pretty good wind sail, Carl!
16:30Thanks.
16:31It's a good thing my underwear was clean!
16:34There it is, Blix.
16:40My ticket to ultimate power in the solar system!
16:44Oh, no!
16:45It can't be!
16:46Pull ahead, Blix!
16:47We've got to reach that pyramid before Neutron does!
16:55We need more speed!
16:56Give me the rudder!
17:04Oh, no, you don't!
17:13Yes!
17:21Too late, Neutron!
17:22My power siphon is charmed and ready for battle!
17:25So's mine, Stretch!
17:29Get him, Jimmy!
17:30Yeah!
17:31Whip his pepper, rich boy Heine!
17:33The power sauce is mine, Neutron!
17:35No, it's not!
17:36It's mine!
17:42Actually, you're both wrong!
17:43It's ours!
17:48Martians!
17:49Cool!
17:50Can I get an autograph?
17:51Humans!
17:52From the third planet!
17:53They are starting to become real pests!
17:56Incredible!
17:57A rock-based silicone form of life!
17:59But I thought Maz was dead!
18:01Dead?
18:02Now they're just being insulting!
18:04Mars isn't dead!
18:05For centuries, our people have slept below the surface!
18:07But you Earth people keep waking us up with the rockets and your probing things with the...
18:13Don't get me started!
18:15We could destroy Earth with one burst of hydro-quantum energy!
18:18Destroy Earth?
18:19But...
18:20But you can't!
18:21I can't!
18:27Can't move!
18:28We're stuck!
18:30Activate control panel!
18:39Target the Earth!
18:43You should prepare to fire!
18:46This is your fault, Neutron!
18:48I could've prepared for this if it wasn't for you!
18:50Knock it off!
18:51If we're gonna save Earth, you two prima donnas better work together!
18:55She's right, Stritch.
18:56How about it?
18:57Are you willing to join forces?
18:59Never!
19:01Well, maybe just this once!
19:03Let's go!
19:11Cindy, distract the Martians!
19:12Eustace, you're with me!
19:14Prepare to fire already!
19:16All hail the Martians!
19:20All hail the Martians!
19:22All hail the Martians!
19:24All hail the Martians!
19:25They're worshipping us!
19:26Well, we are pretty awesome!
19:33And of course, no form of worship would be complete without...
19:36Interpretive dance!
19:50Blast, you Neutron, hurry!
19:52Shall we crush them?
19:53You crush them?
19:54You crush them?
19:55I'll destroy her!
20:02Christ!
20:05Eustace, reroll the circuit and press the blue button!
20:08But I usually have people who do that for me!
20:14Eustace!
20:17Oh, dear.
20:18Oh, dear.
20:23What madness is this?
20:24What?
20:25What?
20:26What?
20:27What?
20:28What?
20:29What did I do?
20:30What did I do?
20:31What did I do?
20:32You re-atomized the hydro-quantum beam, turning it back into simple water!
20:34I'm dispersing it into the atmosphere!
20:36Ah!
20:37Water!
20:38Water!
20:39Water!
20:40Water!
20:41Water!
20:42Water!
20:43They're afraid of common rainwater, which is why they drain their lakes and oceans!
20:49Ow!
20:50Ow!
20:51Ow!
20:52Make it stop!
20:53Ow!
20:54Ow!
20:55Make it stop!
20:56Ow!
20:57Ow!
20:58Make it stop!
20:59Well, I could reverse the effect, or I could make it pour for a month!
21:03Ow!
21:04Ow!
21:05Ow!
21:06Ow!
21:07Ow!
21:08We surrender!
21:09Ow!
21:10Just reverse what you've done and go!
21:11Ow!
21:12We'll also need a small sample of your energy source so we can get home!
21:15So take it already!
21:17Guys, let's head home!
21:19About time!
21:20Mars bites!
21:25I still can't believe it!
21:26Eustace Stritch actually helped us save the Earth!
21:29Well, it is where I keep all my stuff!
21:32I can't believe Jimmy admitted he likes Cindy!
21:35I said she distracts me!
21:36There's a difference!
21:37Sure there is!
21:38Guys, can I have my pants back?
22:08Oh!
22:09Oh!
22:10Oh!
22:11What?
22:12Oh!
22:13Whoa!
22:15Oh!
22:16Oh!
22:17Oh!
22:18Hi!
22:19I'm Paul!
22:20Got a blast!
22:21Hey!
22:22Hi!
22:23I'm Paul!
22:26I got a blast!
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