- 7/3/2025
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Run, Cindy! Run!
00:14I am running!
00:16Get him!
00:17They must not escape!
00:19There we were, running for our lives from our best friends and family.
00:23How did this happen?
00:24It all began on a normal day at school.
00:27No, stop! Bulb is not recyclable!
00:34Hey Libby, where's Cindy?
00:36She's at a karate convention for a couple of days.
00:39Jimmy! Jimmy!
00:41What's the matter?
00:42It's Sheen. He's acting really weird.
00:44Yeah, Carl, where have you been for the last ten years?
00:47No, I mean really weird. He's not Sheen. He's...
00:52Oh, I'm just whistling.
00:55Hi, Jimmy. Isn't it a happy day?
00:58See? I saw the most glorious TV show last night.
01:02Let me guess. Are the words ultra or lord anywhere in the title?
01:06No. It's called the Happy Show Show.
01:09It's on channel 357. You gotta watch it!
01:12It would make me really happy.
01:24That night I was working on an important project.
01:33Talk to me.
01:34Hi, Jimmy. Are you watching the Happy Show Show?
01:37Shane, I'm kinda busy here.
01:39Maybe you can watch it tomorrow.
01:40Or the next day.
01:41Or the next day.
01:42Or the next day.
01:43Or the next day.
01:44Or how about the next day?
01:45Or the next...
01:52Or the next day.
01:53Or the next day.
01:54Or the next day.
01:55Or the next day.
01:56Or the next day.
01:57I should've known then that something was very wrong.
01:59Or the next day.
02:00Or the next day.
02:01Or the next day.
02:02The next morning at the candy bar things got really strange.
02:11Good morning, Jimmy. I'm very happy today.
02:14Are you happy?
02:16After you!
02:17Oh no.
02:18After you!
02:19Let's go at same time.
02:20Splendid.
02:21Oh, Libby, did you just turn some music off?
02:31Hello, Jimmy.
02:34I'm happy to see you.
02:35Did you watch the Happy Show Show last night?
02:38You should watch the Happy Show Show, Jimmy.
02:40It would make me very happy.
02:42My scientific curiosity had been aroused,
02:45so I finally watched the show.
02:48It's the Happy Show Show
02:50with your host, Grandma Taters.
02:53Hello, everybody.
02:55I'm so happy to see you
02:57because every time I see you,
02:59there's a rainbow in my heart.
03:01No more sadness, no more fears.
03:04No more badness, no more tears.
03:07Just happy, happy, happy, happy, happy all the day.
03:11It was the worst show I had ever seen.
03:20The next day at school, the strangeness continued.
03:25Hi, Jimmy.
03:27Hi, Jimmy.
03:28You watch the Happy Show Show?
03:31Yes, and it was the worst show ever.
03:33It was obnoxious, idiotic, silly, infantile, inane, vapid...
03:36Shall I go on?
03:37You need to watch it again.
03:38Again?
03:39I could barely watch the first 30 seconds.
03:41I thought my TV would explode.
03:43I thought I might faint from the fumes of the show's supreme stinkiness.
03:46You should give it another chance.
03:49Guys, are you listening?
03:50I'm never going to watch that show again.
03:53Why don't you come over to my house and watch it with me?
03:56Beset once again by scientific curiosity,
03:58I decided to give the show another try at Betty Quinlan's house.
04:01And you'll be happy forever.
04:11Ah.
04:12Betty's worth it.
04:14Betty's worth it.
04:15And now...
04:16Yes, Grandma.
04:17Listen to me.
04:19You will do whatever I say.
04:22Tell everyone to watch this show.
04:27My next broadcast will go out to the entire world.
04:31The show was hypnotizing people and turning them into mindless zombies.
04:35It didn't affect me, because I was only watching the reflection.
04:38Betty!
04:39Snap out of it!
04:40You've been hypnotized!
04:41Stop watching the TV!
04:43But I must watch.
04:44And you must watch, too.
04:51Mom!
04:52Dad!
04:53We've got to call someone!
04:54There's a TV show that's turning everyone into...
04:56Hello, Jimmy.
04:57We're happy to see you.
04:59You too?
05:00Come sit here and we'll be happy together.
05:03No!
05:06Shall we chase him?
05:07Nothing would make me happier.
05:11Watch the show, Jimmy.
05:15Yes, you must watch it.
05:16It's fabulous.
05:17Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy.
05:23Be happy.
05:24Be happy.
05:25Be happy.
05:26Happy, be happy.
05:30No!
05:34Neutron, why don't you watch where you're going?
05:36Cindy, you're not happy.
05:38No, but I'm filthy.
05:39And I lost at the karate competition to a six-year-old beige belt on dresses.
05:43Questions.
05:44That's great.
05:45What?
05:46No, you don't understand.
05:47Mindless zombies, grandma taters, TV, mass hypnosis.
05:50Neutron, that big brain of yours has finally blown a gasket.
05:53We've got to get out of here before they get us.
05:55No, someone's riding the Paranoid Express.
05:57Get out!
05:58See?
05:59Like I was saying.
06:00I believe you.
06:01Give me the details later.
06:12Don't worry.
06:13They can't hide from us forever.
06:15What a happy thought.
06:19As we flew to the outskirts of town, I told Cindy the whole story.
06:24And that's what happened.
06:25The entire town is happy zombies and the world may be next.
06:29So, uh, why were you at Betty Quinlan's house?
06:32Research.
06:33Now, I may be able to track the broadcast beam of the TV show
06:36and find its originating source.
06:38I got it.
06:39Cindy, it's up to us to stop this thing together.
06:43So, um, what did you do at Betty's house?
06:46Nothing.
06:47Good.
06:48I mean, go.
06:49Let's go.
06:50Whoa!
06:57The Retroville rest home for the old and in the way.
07:04Well, Mr. Fluffy, tonight we will broadcast to the entire world.
07:09And soon everyone will join us.
07:11That's her?
07:12She's so sweet and innocent looking.
07:14Yes, so are child stars.
07:15Wait here and keep a lookout for any of the happy ones.
07:18I'm going in to stop her.
07:21Grandma taters, I presume?
07:23Oh.
07:24Well, hello, honey.
07:25Come on in.
07:26Would you like some hard candy?
07:28I know what you're up to, lady.
07:30Well, aren't you a smart little boy?
07:32How about I knit you a hat?
07:34What?
07:35Oh, dear.
07:36I'll need a lot more yarn.
07:38I'm shutting you down, Grandma.
07:40Oh, I didn't want to have to do this.
07:44Huh?
07:45Guys, stop.
07:46Don't worry.
07:47It's me.
07:48Happy.
07:49Restraints.
07:50Mom, Daddy, you can't do this to me.
07:52Oh, we're happy to do it.
07:54I'm positively ecstatic.
07:56But you're not supposed to be happy all the time.
07:58You have to be sad sometimes.
08:00Happily, that's no longer true.
08:02But don't you see?
08:03Grandma taters' show has stolen your emotions
08:05and caused you to lose your humanity.
08:07Soon the whole world will be a pack of soulless,
08:10mindless zombies.
08:11Wondering if I care.
08:12Still wondering.
08:13Nope.
08:14Sit back and relax, Sunny.
08:16Watch Grandma taters do what she does best.
08:19Lights!
08:21Camera!
08:24Cindy?
08:25Hello, Jimmy.
08:26I'm so happy to see you.
08:28I'm not happy to see you happy.
08:30Just surrender to it, Jimmy.
08:32It's as simple as one, two, three!
08:34You want a piece of me, honey?
08:44Bring it, Wrinkles!
08:47Wee-yah!
08:48YAH!
08:49Wee-yah!
08:50Wee-yah!
08:51Wee-yah!
08:52Wee-yah!
08:53Wee-yah!
08:54Wee-yah!
08:56Ah!
08:57Wee-yah!
09:02All right, Cindy.
09:06Just hold up the cue cards when I say action.
09:08Great!
09:09And action!
09:11Hello, dearies. This is Grandma Taters.
09:15I was wrong to tell you to be happy all the time.
09:18Being different is what keeps us all
09:20from being a pack of mindless meat puppets.
09:23Here's a song I wrote about it.
09:25Be angry if you're feeling mad.
09:28And if you're sad, be weepy.
09:31But don't be happy all the time.
09:34Cause frankly, it's creepy.
09:38Oh dear, I'm talented.
09:41How?
09:42Now when I snap my fingers,
09:44you'll all go back to the way you were.
09:50Hey, where am I tied to Carl?
09:52Sheen!
09:53Stop wriggling!
09:55Hugh, do something.
09:56I'm not happy about this one bit.
09:59Really? I kinda like it.
10:04I know you meant well, Grandma Taters,
10:06but you should really leave mass mind control
10:08to the trained professionals.
10:09I just wanted everyone to be happy.
10:12I guess I'll be on my way.
10:14But I'm confused.
10:16Isn't this where you live?
10:17No, this was just a one-week gig.
10:20I'm sorry, girls.
10:37I failed.
10:38That's all right, honey.
10:40Come in for some muffins and brain juice.
10:43We'll be back.
10:53So, um, what were you doing at Betty Quinlan's house again?
10:56I told you, nothing.
10:58So why were you going there?
10:59Why are you cross-examining me?
11:01Oh, so you admit you had a reason.
11:03Cindy, you don't know anything.
11:05I know, it's really simple.
11:06I don't know.
11:07The Great Spamdini Magic Set.
11:23After waiting four weeks for this,
11:25it better be worth it.
11:26Hey, look at me.
11:27I'm the Great Sheendini.
11:29Never buy a magic kit from Wacko Wally's Wizard Warehouse.
11:38This says the Great Spamdini vanished under mysterious circumstances.
11:42Maybe he dabbled too far in the dark arts.
11:46Well, he sure dabbled in sub-par building materials.
11:53This needs a major neutronic overhaul.
11:56Jimmy, why are you suddenly into magic?
11:58Oh, I know, I know,
11:59because Betty Quinlan likes magic
12:01and Jimmy likes Betty Quinlan.
12:03Carl, you are totally wrong.
12:05I've always been fascinated with prestidigitation.
12:08Ow, ow, six-syllable words hurt my brain.
12:11It means magic,
12:12and I'm not doing this to impress Betty Quinlan.
12:15Gadders.
12:19And here's your card.
12:20Oh, please, magic is so lame.
12:23I think magic's awesome.
12:25Me too.
12:26In fact, I've been doing it for years.
12:27I've been doing it for years.
12:29I've been doing it for years.
12:30I've been doing it for years.
12:31Man's best friend.
12:34So will you guys help me do the magic show?
12:36Will I?
12:37Magician's assistant is only a few notches below Circus Geek.
12:40My true dream.
12:42I don't know, Jimmy, dabbling in the dark arts.
12:45Carl, one word.
12:47Sequins.
12:48Ladies and gentlemen, you've heard of Houdini.
13:00You've heard of those two foreign guys with the animals.
13:03Carl, I get to introduce the amazing Jimmy.
13:06Look at your contract, babe.
13:08Oh, man!
13:10The amazing Jimmy!
13:25Ladies and gentlemen, and Betty, I will now present a feat of magic so amazing that all of you, but especially Betty, give me a break.
13:30Will be rendered speechless with awe.
13:31I shall need a volunteer.
13:32Hmm.
13:33Who shall I pick?
13:34Just pick Betty and get it over with.
13:35Uh-oh.
13:36How about you, Betty?
13:37Sure, Jimmy.
13:38I love magic.
13:39Duh.
13:40Why you think we're doing this cockamamie show?
13:41May I present...
13:43Metamorphosis.
13:46I can't believe Nurtron has to stage a lame magic show just to talk to Betty boring.
13:52Shh!
13:53I'm getting paid for this!
13:54Unlike your birthday parties.
13:55You get tips.
13:56You get tips.
13:57I'm not gonna do this.
13:58You get tips.
13:59I'm gonna do this.
14:00I'm gonna do this.
14:01I'll do it.
14:02I'm gonna do this.
14:03I'll do it.
14:04I will do it.
14:05I'll do it.
14:06I'll do it.
14:07I'll do it.
14:08party's you get tips
14:13for your very eyes I will make the lovely exquisite enchanting
14:18intoxicating I will not make Betty disappear
14:27magic huh
14:31this should ruin nerd trans magic career and his chances with Betty
14:38yeah thanks now I will disappear and miss Libby fullfax will keep you all
15:02entertained until I return hopefully ready to get some funk in your face
15:20okay I'm in some kind of parallel dimension so that eyeball isn't real that
15:25door isn't real Jimmy I'm so glad to see you it's great to see you Betty if you're
15:42upset think how we feel Jimmy my mom is gonna be really mad if I don't come home
15:47with my body okay I will first let's get out of here we all have to go back into
16:05the toilet please tell me he didn't say toilet Jimmy the only thing in here is
16:10that painting that's no painting oh so now you're an art critic too no it's some
16:14sort of portal come on be careful Betty be careful Betty watch your precious head
16:21ow sorry I have two left feet oh wait no I don't
16:36um that was every song I know how to play
16:51wow this is the first time I've ever really gotten into art you get it into art you didn't
16:57get cuz we ever we're in the art I get it look your body oh buddy I missed you don't ever
17:07leave me again may I thanks how pathetic hey check it out now I can see where I've been
17:18I'm sorry Jimmy will be back any second
17:25welcome
17:27oh
17:29oh
17:31oh
17:32oh
17:33oh
17:34oh
17:35oh
17:36oh
17:37oh
17:38oh
17:39oh
17:40oh
17:41oh
17:42oh
17:43oh
17:44oh
17:45oh
17:46oh
17:47oh
17:48we look like mad homework if I didn't think that we might disintegrate at any moment I could have some fun
17:53here
17:54Nertron we aren't lab rats and this isn't one of your lame experiments
17:57back off Cindy he's trying to get us out of here and if anyone can do it he can
18:03okay I've had it Miss Hot Pants this is all your fault
18:06excuse me Miss Big Mouth you made Nertron go gaga over you and do a stupid magic show
18:12I'm not gaga I'm not gaga besides you caused my invention to overload well you built the invention to impress your dream girl
18:18time out Cindy we need to have a little chat look I know all about the whole you and Neutron thing thing what thing there is no thing we don't have a thing yeah right just relax and keep out of my face he's all yours yes what do you want she what do you mean I didn't say nothing
18:29oh it's you for a minute I thought you were
18:44oh
18:45oh
18:46oh
18:47oh
18:48oh
18:49oh
18:50hey we're not whiny anymore
19:03oh
19:04I guess this is it trapped in a parallel dimension by a disembodied arm I knew it would end this way
19:13where have you been not إلى him
19:19The great Spam-Dini! I have your magic kit!
19:22So, what do you want, a medal or a chest to pin it on?
19:25Yeah, about that kit. You might want to change your name to Scam-Dini.
19:29Um, where are we, Mr. Dini?
19:31If I only knew! 50 years ago, I was performing at a picnic matinee
19:36when my metamorphosis box was struck by lightning.
19:39I've been in this for shluggin' a place ever since.
19:41You must have accidentally designed your box with extra-dimensional geometry
19:45that's triggered by a sudden boost in electron-
19:47Nap time!
19:49Anyway, I think your arm led us here so we could try to escape together.
19:54Escape? There is no escape.
19:57We're all gonna be roomies here in Looneyville.
19:59Maybe not. There must be a place where the dimensions intersect.
20:03Is there anywhere here that's always spitting out new matter?
20:11There it is.
20:13A tuna fish sandwich right on time every day.
20:17There's our portal to home.
20:23All this time, you never looked around and saw the portal?
20:26I don't like tuna.
20:27Let's go! A portal!
20:29Uh-oh.
20:35Do you know anything about knife throwing, Libby?
20:39No, but how hard can it be?
20:49Which is our portal, Jimmy?
20:52That one!
20:53Or that one!
20:54Or that one!
20:55Or that one!
20:56Check them all out, but be careful!
20:58There's no telling where these other holes go!
21:00Come on, Jimmy.
21:01How bad could it be?
21:06Gigonic snake world bad.
21:07Got it!
21:08Yeah!
21:09What was it?
21:10Mimes!
21:11Nothing but mimes!
21:13It's a whole world made entirely of pastrami!
21:16That's Ms. Frost!
21:21Guys, this is it!
21:22Let's go!
21:27Go on, kids!
21:28Save yourself!
21:29Don't... but...
21:30Don't contradict the great Spambini!
21:35Pastrami world, here we come!
21:37Come!
21:48Well, you're very kind!
21:49Yes, it was nothing, really!
21:51Not you!
21:52Him!
21:53Thank you!
21:54Thank you!
21:55Give it up for Backward Head Boy!
21:57Backward Head Boy is available for a product endorsement
21:59and personal appearances!
22:07The
22:31Spambini world has already worked!
22:34Oh...
22:44Paw?
22:48Got a blast!
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