- 7/4/2025
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh
00:14Heavens to Harvey Fierstein. This isn't the Pomona Bypass. Willoughby you dink. I told you turn left in the pants outfit
00:22I'm frightened and nauseated. Where are we? We're in hyperspace
00:27Where no teacher has gone before
00:32Idea who's responsible for this
00:41You may have noticed that miss foul isn't here this morning
00:45Shouldn't have returned from the learnapalooza conference by now. Thanks to my new hyperchip. None of our teachers will be back for an entire week
00:53Yeah
01:08What did you do to our teachers all I did was send them on a little side trip through hyperspace
01:12They'll be back in a week safe and sound
01:16No teachers! No teachers! No teachers!
01:19Spread the word people! School's out!
01:25King of the world!
01:30Coming through! Watch it!
01:33Hey! Throw on my rocket board!
01:38Mom! You are so grounded mister!
01:41She's right Jimbo. I'm afraid your senseless reign of carnage is over
01:47Hi Jimmy! You said to spread the word so I told our parents
01:50You bring your teachers back this instant
01:55I can't! They're pre-programmed to come back in a week
01:58Then we will have to round these children up ourselves
02:01Kids!
02:03Oh kids!
02:05Allow me on
02:07Quiet!
02:09Children! Please go to your classrooms
02:13Until Ms. Fowl and the others return
02:15We parents will be filling in as substitute teachers
02:21Substitute teachers?
02:23Good idea Judy! The kids shouldn't miss one precious day of education
02:27Mom! Dad! You can't do this! It'll be totally embarrassing!
02:30Don't be silly Jimbo! Your mother would never dream of embarrassing you
02:35No! Don't!
02:38Now, now, we don't want to be a Mr. Smudgy Face, do we?
02:43Mr. Smudgy Face? Talk about being stripped of all dignity!
02:48Your turn, Butch!
02:50I've lived too long
02:52I'm maxed! Again!
02:55This couldn't get more humiliating
02:57Before we go on, let's look at Jimmy's baby pictures!
03:04Now, kids, as Carl is now demonstrating, germ-free back skin begins at home
03:12Harder, son! You show those germs who's boss!
03:16Hey, Carl, can you come over and wash my parents?
03:19Now, now, kids, my Carl knows that good health and hygiene is nothing to be ashamed of
03:25Right, son?
03:26Right, Dad!
03:28Great! Now, let's show them how to land some boils
03:30Remember, kids, working with wood can be a great family activity
03:38My son, Chin, and I made these pretty dollies together in our spare time
03:43Dad, they're not dollies! They're action-play companions!
03:47Some nights, instead of TV, Chin will pretend to be the little girl doll
03:50And I'll be her magic flying pony
03:55Mmm! Don't be sad, Chin!
03:57Let's fly away to Happy Rainbow Mountain!
04:00Oh!
04:02Kids, the book my wife gave me says the gym class should build self-esteem
04:08So everyone, turn around and hug your neighbor!
04:10Ew!
04:12Go on, Jimbo, hug your little men friends!
04:15Dad, I'm not hugging anyone!
04:16Don't make me blow this whistle, young man!
04:19No, no, no! Not the whistle!
04:22Alright, alright!
04:27Okie dokie, let's move on to the trust exercises
04:35Could our parents have embarrassed us more today?
04:39What's wrong, Carl? Is my seven-layer soy mulch too tough?
04:42Let Mommy pre-chew it for you!
04:44Mmm!
04:51Mmm!
04:53I mean, gross!
04:57You boys enjoy!
04:59I can't take it anymore!
05:01I actually wish we had our old teachers back!
05:03Are you gonna finish your soy mulch?
05:05Parents wanna be substitute teachers, huh?
05:07Well, I say it's time to sink some subs!
05:15Elbow! Elbow!
05:17Keep searching, everyone!
05:19We're looking for some type of shiny, blinky, sciencey gizmo!
05:24Do they have restrooms in hyperspace?
05:26I'm keeping any change, I find!
05:29Almost done, Goddard!
05:31The secret weapon that'll make our parents run screaming from the school!
05:35I call it Rebellion!
05:37It's a concentrated version of the hormone that makes kids challenge authority!
05:41One whiff of this, and they'll run amok!
05:43Faced with such sheer, raw mayhem, the parents will be forced to bail!
05:46Mwah!
05:52Psst! Psst! Psst!
05:54Jimmy!
05:56Carl and I have decided to run away and join the carny circuit!
05:59You in?
06:01You won't need to, Sheen!
06:02I've got the answer to our problems right here!
06:05Jimmy!
06:06Ow!
06:07What have you got there?
06:09Uh-oh!
06:10Is that one of your experiments?
06:11Bring it up!
06:12Busted!
06:14You know you're still grounded from doing science!
06:17B-b-bomb!
06:18No buts!
06:19You march off to your next class!
06:21I'm going to keep this in a safe place!
06:25Neutron, this coffee you made is absolutely delicious!
06:29Thanks, but my secret ingredient is the low-cal sweetener Judy Brow!
06:33Phew! That's not low-cal sweetener!
06:35That's the bottle I took from Jimmy this morning!
06:38Well, it tastes marvelous!
06:39Yes, it sounds robust!
06:42Oh, dear!
06:45Guys, we've got to get back that hormone bottle!
06:47It could be highly toxic to adults!
06:53I'm sick of all the rules around here, man!
06:55This place is totally bogus!
06:57I told you not to come into my room!
06:59Whatever!
07:00You're not the boss of me!
07:02Oh, no! They've been exposed to the hormone!
07:04Guys, try to calm your parents down!
07:06Ow!
07:07Ow!
07:08Ow!
07:09Ow!
07:10Ow!
07:11Ow!
07:12Ow!
07:13Ow!
07:14Ow!
07:15Ow!
07:16Ow!
07:17Mom! Dad! Stop shooting those spitballs right now!
07:18Who's gonna make us?
07:19U!
07:20S! F!
07:21Ah!
07:22No!
07:23Hey!
07:24Don't!
07:25Give me that!
07:26Dad, stop!
07:27You just can't take people's stuff!
07:28You're about to get served, chumps!
07:45Dad, I'm warning you!
07:46Behead yourself!
07:47Joe can't tell me what to do!
07:49Stop trying to ruin my life!
07:51Ooh!
07:52That was terrible!
07:53It's no use!
07:54We've looked everywhere!
07:55Ugh!
07:56And it's getting musty in here!
07:57Coach Gruber, could you grab a fresh stick of pine scent from the glove compartment?
08:02Hey!
08:03What the heck is this?
08:04One of Jimmy's gadgets!
08:05I knew we'd find it!
08:06What happens if you press this button?
08:08Let's trash this play!
08:10Boofy!
08:11Guys, stop!
08:12You've gotta listen.
08:13You've been exposed to a concentrated hormone.
08:14If you don't calm down it could damage your entire endocrine system.
08:16Hmm.
08:17What do you think, Jude?
08:18Get it!
08:20Please!
08:21All right, that's all.
08:22That's all good!
08:23I'm gonna need you.
08:24That's all bad!
08:25Look out, it's all good!
08:26Uh-oh!
08:27What are you doing?
08:28That's all good?
08:29What are you doing?
08:30Hey!
08:31We're not doing so.
08:32You're welcome.
08:33We'll be out.
08:34We'll be out.
08:35We'll be out.
08:36What do you think, Jude?
08:37Get him!
08:38Sit down, people.
08:39You don't want this on your permanent record, do you?
08:53Jimmy, I'd like a word with you.
08:55Guys, you've got to get these parents under control.
08:58They're loopy and they need medical attention.
09:00You can't control us.
09:02No way.
09:03You're totally lame.
09:04Parents rebelling against teachers?
09:06Has the world gone mad?
09:08Folks, I think someone needs some discipline.
09:11Good thing I stocked up on teaching aids at the conference,
09:14like these eraser nunchucks.
09:17Hey!
09:18Hey, hey, hey, hey!
09:24Ow!
09:25Run!
09:26And I'm glad I picked up this crate of dodgeballs.
09:28Look out!
09:29Ow!
09:30My new high carb pancake recipe should make them slow and lethargic.
09:33Whoa!
09:34How about you, old woman?
09:35What do you bring to the party, hmm?
09:36Young man, in 74 years of teaching, the only thing I've ever needed is my piercing educator's skunk eye!
09:52No!
09:53Not the skunk eye!
09:54Don't look at me!
09:55Don't look at me!
09:56Back, back, I say!
09:57Don't look at me!
09:58Back, back, I say!
09:59Don't look at me!
10:00Don't look at me!
10:01We didn't look at me!
10:02For you!
10:03For you!
10:04For you!
10:05For you!
10:06For you!
10:07For you!
10:08Great job, everyone!
10:09Our parents should be back to normal just as soon as they wake up!
10:12Thank heavens for that!
10:14As for you, young man, we found your little hyperspace gizmo!
10:19It'll never happen again!
10:21In fact, I've learned a valuable lesson about the importance of our teaching professionals!
10:27You're still getting 900 days detention!
10:29And no soup on Soup Tuesday!
10:32In fact, drop and give me 40 maggot right now!
10:35But you're not the boss of me!
10:40Double time, Neutron!
10:42And then in the library, Neutron's foot hit mine, so I tapped his foot back and he kicked mine again!
11:01I think we were playing footsie!
11:03Promise you won't tell anyone!
11:04Of course!
11:05You know how I respect people's privacy!
11:07So what are the guys doing now?
11:09Um, they're up to something!
11:24I'm locked onto the evening news video feed!
11:32You're on!
11:34Yes, ahem, hello!
11:36This just in!
11:37I'm not wearing pants under this desk!
11:39Repeat!
11:40I'm not wearing pants!
11:42Um, hi!
11:43Who wants to see my head spin around?
11:46Whee!
11:47Whee!
11:48Whee!
11:49Well, that's odd!
11:50I don't remember the weather lady being quite so...hideous!
11:53Come on, Anchorman!
11:54Spin your hat with me!
11:56Whee!
11:57Whee!
11:58Whee!
11:59Whee!
12:00We're spinning our hat!
12:01Spin our hat!
12:02Go!
12:03Whee!
12:04Whee!
12:05Whee!
12:06Whee!
12:07Whee!
12:08We're in a lot of trouble!
12:09Ugh!
12:10I'm going to make you boys superstars!
12:12Huh?
12:13What?
12:14I saw your crazy news show!
12:16I want to produce a kids evening news starring you boys!
12:19Huh?
12:20What?
12:21But we don't know anything about doing the news!
12:23That's what makes it so crazy fresh!
12:24You are my anchorman!
12:25You with the spots!
12:26Round Boy does weather!
12:27You're rewarding these chowder heads for hacking into the news!
12:29You can be called anchor!
12:30I mean, can I do a gossip segment?
12:31Extra crazy!
12:32You all star tonight!
12:33Ciao!
12:34You all star tonight!
12:35Ciao!
12:36I'm going to make you boys superstars!
12:37I'm going to make you boys superstars!
12:38Huh?
12:39What?
12:40I saw your crazy news show!
12:41I want to produce a kids evening news starring you boys!
12:42Huh?
12:43What?
12:44But we don't know anything about doing the news!
12:45Huh?
12:46What?
12:47But we don't know anything about doing the news!
12:48That's what makes it so crazy fresh!
12:49You are my anchorman!
12:50You with the spots!
12:51Ciao!
12:54What?
12:57Welcome to Kids Evening News!
12:59With Jimmy Neutron and Cindy Vortex!
13:01Carl Weezer on weather!
13:03Sheen Estevez on sports!
13:04And Libby Fulfax with DaWord!
13:10Good evening! I'm Jimmy Neutron! Here now with the news!
13:13Tragedy struck Retroville today as local boy Nick Dean broke his leg for the 15th time this year!
13:18Nick is expected to make a full recovery and break his leg again soon after!
13:22Cindy?
13:23Foreign exchange student Bulby Strovanovsky officially entered the Miss Retroville beauty pageant today!
13:28Asked to explain his action, Mr. Strovanovsky replied,
13:31Bulby pretty!
13:32Bulby win pageant!
13:33Good!
13:34Jimmy?
13:35Butch Bukowski was today awarded the Bully of the Year award from the Juvenile Delinquents Society!
13:40In a tear-filled speech, Bukowski accepted the award and used it to beat his hosts about the head, neck and chest.
13:45And now, let's go to the always jolly Dr. Carl in the Weather Center. Carl?
13:50Hello, Retroville! I hope you had a scrumptilicious day! Let's wish a big ol' happy birthday to old lady Nussbaum, who turns 102 today!
14:03Here's a nice big weather center hug from Dr. Carl!
14:07Just tell us the weather!
14:09Tomorrow's Weezer weather? You better grab your sombrero, mi amigo! Cause it's gonna be as hot as Mexico!
14:20Da-da-da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da-da-da!
14:25Ow, my scapula!
14:27Thanks, Dr. Carl! Now here's Sheen with the sports!
14:30Evening, sports fans! Today Oleander and Ike faced off against each other in varsity wrestling!
14:35Let's go to the videotape!
14:37Right, no videotape.
14:39Let's go to the action figures! Oleander puts Ike and a half Nelson! Then Ike kicks him in the shins!
14:44Bam, boom, bam! I've never seen anyone take this much punishment!
14:47Wait! What's this? Ike is burping in Oleander's face!
14:50Oleander is passing out! Ike just might go off the way!
14:55Whoa!
14:56Now here's Libby!
14:58Ow!
14:59Ah!
15:00What's up, y'all? This is Libby with the word.
15:04Well, it seems a certain big-headed genius has been playing footsie in the library with a blonde colleague.
15:09Looks like this love-hate relationship is turning into all love all the time.
15:14Check it out! Everybody's talking about a certain someone with the initial CW who had toilet paper hanging off his shoe all day today!
15:22P.S. He still doesn't know!
15:28Check it out!
15:30Ow! Dang!
15:34What hyperactive cutie has been worrying pals by talking to an imaginary hand puppet?
15:39Here's a hint! His name rhymes with Bean!
15:46Well, I'm out of time! See you tomorrow on The Word!
15:50G-Good night, and thanks for watching!
15:53Cut!
15:54Libby!
15:55You just violated, like, ten people's privacy!
15:57I thought you were all down with my doing gossip!
15:59Not when it's about me!
16:00Or me!
16:01Or us!
16:02Or me!
16:03Or us!
16:04Or me!
16:05What's the big deal?
16:06I didn't use actual names.
16:07I'm sure no one even knew who I was talking about.
16:13Hey, Carl! Your foot's all out of toilet paper!
16:16Jimmy and Cindy sitting in a...
16:22Hey, see! How about our hand puppets do lunch?
16:29Wow! I'm a star!
16:34Okay, children, quiet down. I'm going to hand back your essays now.
16:40I see.
16:41Something wrong, Libby?
16:43No, Miss Fowl. But I hope you're not grading and driving again.
16:47You don't want to go back to prison.
16:49Those charges were never proven!
16:51Who told you about that?
16:53Though it would make a good story for tonight.
16:57Err, did I write C? I meant A!
17:00I always get those confused.
17:05Marissa has hair extensions? Girl, how do you know?
17:08You better tell me unless you want that ugly tattoo of yours splashed all over primetime.
17:14Talk to me.
17:16You call that embarrassing?
17:17Call me when you get some real dirt.
17:21Where are my cherries?
17:23Or do you want people to know that half your chocolate sprinkles are ants?
17:27The lady wants cherries! Come on! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!
17:30She's turned into a monster!
17:32She has dirt on everyone in town!
17:34So? What do we care? She already gossiped about us.
17:37We're on every night, Coach Clueless.
17:39You think she won't eventually report on your addiction to candy?
17:42And I can only imagine what she has on Carl.
17:55I don't sniff my own feet! It just looks that way when I'm doing yoga!
18:00Thanks for the stories, guys.
18:02Libby, what's happened to you?
18:04Look, I'll make you a deal. Stop your gossip segment and I'll give you a...
18:07Candy?
18:08No, Cindy's co-anchor job.
18:10Ouch!
18:12Excuse me.
18:13I gotta go.
18:14I need more juicy stories for tonight.
18:17Guys, I have an idea.
18:18Does it involve candy?
18:19No. Libby wants stories, right?
18:21Well, let's give her a story she can't resist.
18:25Ain't no way Miss Bow's a man!
18:28I gotta go, Principal Willoughby.
18:30Come in!
18:31Hey, Lib. I wanted to wish you a good show tonight.
18:34Oh, and even though our dressing rooms are next to each other,
18:37don't look through that peephole into mine!
18:40I'll try to resist, Carl.
18:42Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm looking for one last story.
18:45Okay, well, you won't find your story through that peephole, that's for sure.
18:50Although, you will be shocked and amazed and sick and disgusted and terrified!
18:57Welp, gotta go.
18:59Welp, whopping, Hebrews!
19:22Greetings mighty Alien Masters!
19:23Greetings, Carl of Earth!
19:26Greetings, Carl of Earth. Have you prepared for our arrival?
19:30Yes, I have masters.
19:32Have you laid in a supply of kittens for us to snack on?
19:36Yes, I have masters.
19:38Excellent. I knew he'd be a good recipient for our slavery-inducing brain worm.
19:45Soon we will descend upon your planet and steal the spleens of your species to play spleenball with.
19:51Our spleens are so bouncy.
19:53It's like a whole different game.
19:56Is that it?
19:58Oh, um, okay. Bye.
20:10And then the aliens put a worm in Carl's brain that makes them their splave.
20:14And they eat kittens and snacks and they're coming here soon to steal our spleens to play spleenball with.
20:18I'm not kidding!
20:20Thanks for that fascinating report, Libby.
20:23Well, that's the news.
20:25Good night and thanks for watching.
20:31Oh, that was classic.
20:33Earth spleens.
20:34No one's gonna believe Libby ever again.
20:37Yeah.
20:38Except those guys.
20:39There's the alien slave kid!
20:41Get him!
20:42Threaten our kittens, eh, buster!
20:45Libby, you have to stop him from hurting Carl!
20:47Yeah!
20:48He's not an alien!
20:49We made it all up so you'd lose your credibility!
20:52What?
20:53Oh no!
20:54Okay, get ready to pelt him!
20:56Wait!
20:57Stop!
20:58Carl's not an alien!
20:59Huh?
21:00What?
21:01But it was on the local news!
21:03I know, but it wasn't true!
21:05Those guys tricked me into saying it!
21:07Oh, then pelt them!
21:11Yeah!
21:12Wait!
21:13Stop!
21:14Don't pelt them either!
21:15Look, I guess by getting all caught up in being a star, I forced my friends to do what they did.
21:21We forgive you, Libby.
21:22And I hope you'll still trust us with the sacred dignity of the local news!
21:26Not necessary!
21:27Because you are all fired!
21:28What?
21:29That's right!
21:30I need to make room for my crazy new show, Everybody Loves Hand Puppets!
21:34Hey, everybody!
21:36Yeah...
21:38Carl Corky!
21:40Yeah!
21:44Forgive me, guys?
21:45Eh, what the heck?
21:46I guess things worked out okay after all.
21:48Come on, let's go home.
21:50Um...
21:53Hello?
21:54Guys?
21:55Wait up!
21:56Okay, you're coming back, right?
21:59Right?
22:00Guys?
22:02My scapula...
22:20Hi, everybody!
22:21I'm trying to escape!
22:22You're gonna find space, friends!
22:23You're gonna find space, you can find space, you can find space, you can find space, and go be safe.
22:26Oh!
22:47Paw?
22:49Got a blast!
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