- 6/10/2025
Original Broadcast Date: February 11th 2015
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TVTranscript
00:00One, two, three, four
00:30Well, Liberal MPs in Canberra for Monday's party room meeting woke to a news poll showing the coalition's polling figures to be the worst in six years.
00:47The Prime Minister's personal approval at record lows and the most dismal ranking for any Prime Minister in 21 years.
00:55And then decided, yep, he's our man.
00:57And Mr Abbott won the vote against the spill motion with a resounding 61 to 39, that ballot having a margin of error of 100%.
01:06But there was something unique about this ballot, as Tony Abbott told 2GB's senior political correspondent Ray Hadley.
01:13Well, Ray, it's not about me.
01:16Ray, it's not about me.
01:18Now, it is unusual for a spill motion on the party leadership to not be about the party's leader, but these are strange times.
01:25Strange, strange times.
01:28So if not Tony, then who do we blame?
01:32Now...
01:32Now, I don't want to overstate the importance of this show and its influence on the national zeitgeist,
01:40but I kind of feel responsible for what's been happening to our Prime Minister.
01:44Now, I admit we've said some things about Mr Abbott over the last five years that might have been construed as not supporting the home team.
01:53But I want to point out that they were only jokes.
01:56They were not meant to be taken seriously.
01:58They were just a bit of affectionate ribbing of the sort.
02:01We all do when you poke fun at a slightly backward family member or pet.
02:07But then came all this talk about wanting to put him down, and that, frankly, as an Australian, disgusts me.
02:13Let me go on record as saying that I'm glad Tony Abbott's still our Prime Minister.
02:17Mainly because we have no jokes about Malcolm Turnbull.
02:20Now, I'm also with our Prime Minister.
02:25Didn't take them long, did it?
02:29I'm also with the Prime Minister when he says...
02:34The Liberal Party has dealt with the spill motion, and now this matter is behind us.
02:40But before we get on with putting this matter behind us, let's dwell soberly on the events leading up to what happened Monday
02:46in a segment that we're calling this...
02:49OK, now, leaving aside anything I may have said, and the Federal Budget,
02:57I think there were three big things which caused this crisis.
03:01The first, of course, is...
03:03Ennobling Prince Philip.
03:06Now, I mean, really, what difference does it make?
03:08The Duke of Edinburgh is already a member of the royal family, isn't he?
03:11If anything, making a prince a knight is a demotion.
03:14Now, my theory, my theory, that Mr Abbott is a secret Republican.
03:19And this was all part of a plan to dismantle a monarchy by increments.
03:22This year, he makes Prince Philip a knight.
03:27Next year, he busts him down to Australian Citizen.
03:30The sad thing, though, is that there won't be a next year for Tony Abbott, despite the result on Monday.
03:35According to our recently reset leadership spill clock,
03:38what's that?
03:39He's got less than six weeks, two days, four hours and 13 minutes.
03:44But all this hoo-ha about the knighthood was largely media and Liberal Party backbench and Cabinet speculation.
03:50What do you, the idiot, actually think about?
03:52Well, according to this Channel 7 reach tell poll of 3,700 people, support for Prince Philip's knighthood was 12%, while 72% opposed it.
04:03And that's interesting.
04:04I guess the other 16% were baffled by the complexity of the question.
04:08Now, on the question of support for Tony Abbott, though, yes, his approval rate was down to 22%,
04:14but the good news was that his approval rate dropped by less than his disapproval rate rose.
04:20So there's 1% who used to approve of him who now don't, but they don't disapprove of him either.
04:26And what he needs to do, I think, is build on that inertia.
04:30Now, on the topic of preferred Liberal leader, Mr Abbott sits on 18%, Mr Turnbull, 45%,
04:36Ms Bishop, 31%, and Joe Hockey on 7%.
04:39Now, I'm no mathematician, but 18 and 7 is 25, plus 45 is 70, plus 31 is 101%, isn't it?
04:48So you know what's happened there, don't you?
04:50They accidentally rang the front bench when they were doing the phone poll, and Malcolm's voted for himself twice.
04:56Should have tried it on Monday.
05:02ABC sophologist who isn't Anthony Green, Clancy Lanyard, you were in Canberra on Monday when nothing ended up happening.
05:08Talk us through that.
05:10Um, you've pretty much summed it up, Sean. There isn't anything at all I can add.
05:14Hmm. A live cross there to Clancy Lanyard there in Canberra for no reason, giving the appearance of a fluid situation.
05:22But what annoys me is that if it isn't what you or I thought that mattered,
05:26it was what the politicians in Canberra think we thought.
05:29And I don't think what politicians in Canberra think matters.
05:31As Senator John Madigan says...
05:36Submarines are the spaceships of the ocean.
05:39Yes, yes, it's what state politicians think, particularly those in the LNP who lost their seats in Queensland the other week.
05:51Careful, Newman's defeat!
05:53Although, to be fair, the Prime Minister can't be blamed entirely for the blame he's receiving for the swing to Labor.
06:01Some of the credit goes to fellow comedian and part-time opposition leader Bill Shorten,
06:06who has clearly been working on his material over the summer.
06:09He was up in Queensland during the campaign, trying out his one-liners on various audiences,
06:14and it'd be fair to say that he had them in the aisles.
06:17Presumably as they scrambled for the exits.
06:19Here he is, sticking it to the state LNP for their plan to lease Queensland's assets.
06:25That's not a policy. That's an ad on Gumtree.
06:31Boom!
06:32Campbell Newman did not have a chance.
06:35And here's where Bill's true skill, as a comic, comes to the fore.
06:38And I know what I'm talking about, because I used to be Milo Kerrigan.
06:43Having effortlessly dispatched Newman, he segues equally as effortlessly
06:47into attacking the Prime Minister for not joining Newman on the campaign trail.
06:51I think Tony Abbott finds it too hot in Queensland, and I'm not talking about the weather.
06:58Boom!
07:01It's very hard to recover from that, and Bill's unrelenting.
07:04He's like Don Rickles, or Julia Morris.
07:07Just as the Prime Minister's sinking to his knees, referring to himself as a good captain,
07:13Bill delivers a death blow, which the Prime Minister is still nursing.
07:16Frankly, the captain of the Titanic would look good standing next to Tony Abbott.
07:24I mean, the guy's on fire.
07:27You know, and it's only February.
07:30Imagine what he's going to be like when Labour announce a policy.
07:33Although, if I do have one criticism of Bill, and I say this as a fan, to cap off this one-man
07:39comedy festival, Bill, on the eve of the Prime Minister's National Press Club address last
07:43week, puts out this Abbott word bingo card, neatly predicting the PM's use of phrases like
07:49intergenerational theft and learn from our mistakes, etc.
07:52Now, obviously, that's quality gear.
07:54But before I'd even finished taking my hat off to him, I was already super-gluing it back onto
07:58my head.
07:59Because I found this on the internet.
08:01A 2008 Barack Obama bingo card.
08:04A 2008 Sarah Palin bingo card.
08:07And a 2013 Academy Awards bingo card.
08:10I was so disappointed.
08:13It's the unwritten rule of comedy.
08:16You do not use other people's material.
08:19And if you don't believe me, well, excuse me!
08:24You know, it made me think, how many of Bill's zingers were ripped off from other comedians?
08:30Almost certainly none.
08:32Although this one...
08:34Once upon a time, I thought denial was a river in Egypt.
08:37It's actually the attitude of the Abbott government.
08:38LAUGHTER
08:40I found in a farmer's almanac from 1875.
08:46So bingo, Bill should remember he was made leader of the Labour Party on October 13th, 2013.
08:5313, Bill.
08:54Unlucky for some.
08:56Still, it's good to have a laugh, isn't it?
08:58LAUGHTER
08:59Clancy Lanyard is still in Canberra.
09:06Uh, yeah, I am Sean, yes.
09:08Clancy Lanyard there in Canberra.
09:10And another thing, though, about the Queensland election that had significant blowback for the PM
09:16came from Tasmanian Senator Jackie Lambie, who posted a video on YouTube which went bacterial.
09:22Check it out.
09:23It opens with some graphics and there's the little lady who says this.
09:26If you want to send a strong message this Queensland election,
09:30if you want to kick Tony Abbott and his Liberal National Party mates in the shins,
09:34or a little bit higher, then make your vote count in the Queensland state election.
09:39So, essentially, her message was, hey Queenslanders, put Tasmania first, kick Tony Abbott in the testicles.
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47And while I guess it's sort of a backhanded compliment to suggest they're located only a little bit higher than his shins,
09:53it does continue this, I think, unseemly trend when attacking the Prime Minister to include some reference to his genitals.
10:01It's kind of like the old joke about going to the dentist.
10:04You reach up under his jacket and you grab him by his delicate parts
10:07and you squeeze a little bit and you say, we're not going to hurt each other, are we?
10:11LAUGHTER
10:12So, according to Jackie Lambie, Tony Abbott's testicles are a little bit higher than his shins,
10:19but David Leinhelm has them up under his jacket about waist level.
10:23LAUGHTER
10:24I mean, what is happening to us?
10:27Can you imagine a senator in the 1950s urging the electorate to kick Sir Robert Menzies in the balls?
10:32Or worse, squeeze them?
10:34LAUGHTER
10:35But the Prime Minister's testicles to one side.
10:38LAUGHTER
10:39The remaining cause of Mr Abbott's woes, at least according to Rupert Murdoch, is...
10:43Read Peter Credlin!
10:46Laura Jays from Sky News.
10:48What are you hearing from government MPs about Ms Credlin?
10:51Some are warning against making her a scapegoat.
10:53Others say that she is the glue in that office.
10:58Hmm, that would certainly explain a lot of his recent behaviour.
11:01It's the fumes from the glue. Thanks very much, Laura.
11:04But there have been allegations that under Ms Credlin, his office has become dysfunctional.
11:09Too controlling.
11:10Even that, there's friction between Ms Credlin and Foreign Minister Julie Bishop.
11:14A rumour which, in my view, is baseless.
11:16When do you see how well they work together in Parliament?
11:18That's perfect.
11:20Mr Abbott then enraged several Coalition colleagues by implying that such criticism was plain sexism.
11:26Do you really think, Lyndall, that my Chief of Staff would be under this kind of criticism
11:32if her name was P-E-T-E-R as opposed to P-E-T-A?
11:38It's an interesting question, isn't it?
11:40Would Tony Abbott be copying as much criticism if his name was T-O-N-I?
11:46Mad as hell's Pansy Galileo.
11:48I don't think so, Sean, because he wouldn't have made it into Cabinet in the first place.
11:53Plus, Peter Credlin being a man might solve the problem of allegedly sexist criticism,
11:57but it would create another problem.
11:59Her husband is Brian Licknane, Federal Director of the Liberal Party,
12:02and he may not be so happy about being married to a man.
12:05More than that, he would, in fact, be breaching Liberal Party policy on same-sex marriage,
12:10meaning he would have to resign as Federal Director or undergo sex change surgery to become a woman.
12:14But then being a woman would probably make it equally impossible for him to be Federal Director of the Liberal Party
12:18and, in fact, would probably leave him subject to the same sort of sexist criticism
12:22that his husband was getting before she was a woman.
12:24All right, so you would urge Peter and Brian to drop any plans they have for transgender surgery?
12:30Absolutely, but I would encourage the Prime Minister to consider it.
12:33It might be an interesting idea to have the Minister for Women actually be one.
12:39Thank you, Pansy, thank you.
12:43Pansy Galileo there, researcher from Mad as Hell,
12:45who stepped in at the last minute when we forgot to book an expert.
12:48Oh, God, I am so sorry about that, Sean.
12:50I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.
12:54Speaking of women, though, one change that Julie Bishop will notice in 2015
13:00is that when she has to pop out of Cabinet meetings to powder her nose or go to the toilet,
13:04she'll have a female Cabinet colleague to accompany her
13:06with the appointment over the break of Susan Lay as Health Minister.
13:11Yes, I'm sure Peter Credlin would have got up and gone with Ms Bishop a few times,
13:14but that was just to slam her up against the tiles and tell her to pull her head in.
13:18Dean of Women's Studies at Coles University, Dean Orps.
13:21Two whole women in Cabinet now.
13:23That should shut some of Mr Abbott's critics up, shouldn't it?
13:26You'd certainly like to think so, Sean.
13:28It's a massive injection of female talent.
13:31People might not realise, but it's actually a 100% increase.
13:36And to put that into perspective,
13:37that's a doubling of the female representation in Cabinet.
13:40There's now twice as many as there were last year.
13:43And to give that some sort of context,
13:46if that same increase occurred next year,
13:48there'd be an unbelievable four women in Cabinet.
13:51The dizzying numbers.
13:53Has he gone too far, do you think?
13:54Two women?
13:55It's possibly an overcorrection.
13:57Could Cabinet become too emotionally involved in issues?
14:00Yeah, it's always a danger, Sean.
14:01I think that's why he's surrounded that female block of two with 17 men.
14:07And 17 men who are unlikely to get emotionally involved in any issue at all.
14:12And what do you think it would be like for women under Malcolm Turnbull?
14:16I imagine there'd be more of them.
14:22And in a greater variety of positions?
14:24He's always been more adventurous than Tony.
14:28And coming up later,
14:30what do Labour make of all this infighting and talk of leadership change?
14:33Is it a case of their butt for the fact we've already done that twice ago,
14:37or are they kicking back with a jumbo box of popcorn
14:40and enjoying the whole schlamozzle?
14:41We speak to Senator Penny Wong.
14:44This is a bloke, this Prime Minister,
14:46he just doesn't listen and he just doesn't learn.
14:49He just doesn't listen and he just doesn't learn.
14:51This is a bloke who keeps saying one thing and doing another.
14:55This is a bloke who doesn't listen,
14:57doesn't learn and just doesn't get it.
15:00Well, she certainly learned that line.
15:03Still to come!
15:04ABC in 2015 is your home for great new dramas
15:09and clever promos for them
15:11that quote lines of dialogue from the show
15:13as if they're comments on the show itself.
15:15This is rubbish, isn't it?
15:17This is the worst writing I've seen in my 60 years.
15:20Heart-rending drama.
15:22It's completely lame.
15:24That tackles today's issues.
15:27Yeah, there's been another awful episode.
15:30This really stinks.
15:35I can't act.
15:36There's a lot to look forward to on ABC.
15:42Well, with Monday's drama over-ish,
15:44what remains of the budget
15:45will be attempting to shamble through the Senate this week
15:48like a shotgun-peppered burning zombie.
15:51One of the bits that hasn't fallen off
15:53is the Medicare co-payment.
15:54Treasurer for now, Joe Hockey, says,
15:56of course, we have to pay more
15:58because in the future we'll all be living till we're 150.
16:01Finance Minister Mathias Cormann
16:03hasn't commented on this figure
16:05because, as he says...
16:06I'm not a commentator.
16:07I'm not a commentator.
16:10But what does Mr. Cormann think
16:12of Mr. Hockey's prediction of our life expectancy?
16:15Finance Minister Spokesborg, Darius Horsham.
16:18Who can predict the future
16:19with any degree of certainty, Sean?
16:22Although I can tell you from personal experience
16:24that the year 2029
16:26is dominated by a bleak dystopian hellscape.
16:30It's only what we do now
16:32that will prevent the rise of the machines
16:34and our inevitable enslavement.
16:36So living to 150 is not just Mr. Hockey
16:39talking out of his ass?
16:41Joe speaks the truth
16:42no matter which part of his body
16:43you're listening to, Sean.
16:45A cybernetic organism can live for 200, 300 years
16:49according to the Skynet guarantee
16:50that's boilerplated onto my own ass.
16:53What about an ordinary man like me?
16:56Ordinary man?
16:57More like you're being an economic girly man, Sean.
16:59If you think that this country can survive
17:02with such an ageing and an increasing population
17:05anywhere else in the animal kingdom
17:07we would be eating our young
17:09or pushing our elderly out into the sea
17:11and ice flows thanks to global warming
17:13which doesn't exist.
17:14The age of entitlement is over.
17:16No more complaining.
17:17No more, I want to go to the bathroom.
17:19There is no bathroom!
17:22Gary Torsham, many thanks.
17:23Fantastic.
17:25The other thing that's got to get past the senators
17:28is the deregulation of university fees
17:30and one thing I've been delighted to see
17:32is that the quality of the debate about higher education
17:35has reflected our respect for academia.
17:37You can polish a turd for as long as you want.
17:41It's always going to be a turd
17:42and that's exactly what the higher education bill is.
17:44So, it's exactly what the higher education bill is.
17:49The bill is an actual turd.
17:51A turd that Glenn Lazarus has no intention of passing.
17:56Whether it's shiny or with its usual matte finish.
18:02Malcolm Powder, you're a renowned French polisher.
18:05Do you do many turds in your shop?
18:07Oh, maybe three or four a year, Sean.
18:10Is that all?
18:12Oh, it's all the DIY stuff now, Sean.
18:15Yeah, the arse has fallen out of the turd polishing paper.
18:18Yeah, because, you know,
18:19you'd think it'd be the other way around, wouldn't you?
18:21Thanks very much indeed.
18:25Don't blame me, they started it.
18:27Those senators certainly have a way with words.
18:31Submarines are the spaceships of the ocean.
18:34Now, it's not just our PM who's been in the wars.
18:37Yes, Tony Abbott's certainly the most unpopular
18:40Australian Prime Minister since that prick Sir Earl Page.
18:43But there have been a few others in the coalition
18:45who have been mentioned in dispatches.
18:48Former Health Minister Peter Dutton, for example,
18:50was recently voted the worst health minister in living memory.
18:54The question, of course, is whether he can go on
18:56to be our worst immigration minister.
18:58Fingers crossed.
18:59And speaking of immigration,
19:01that leads us very neatly into some news from countries
19:04other than Australia.
19:06News from countries that aren't Australia.
19:08Proudly brought to you by Blabber.
19:11What was a funny thing about the 80s?
19:13Ros.
19:14Big hair!
19:16Coming soon.
19:21Yes, Peter Dutton's proving a lot more sensitive
19:23in his new portfolio than his predecessor.
19:26On Manus Island, apparently,
19:28a large shipment of muesli bars was rejected
19:30because the brand Freedom was deemed inappropriate
19:32for asylum seekers who were locked up.
19:36Fair enough, too.
19:37It's sort of rubbing their noses in it, isn't it?
19:39I mean, the fact that they're bars, too, is questionable.
19:43Also likely to be banned, in our view,
19:46Fresh Start wipes,
19:47Lucky Country pineapple licorice
19:49and Hope to Go Dark Chocolate and Crackers.
19:53In our opinion, though,
19:55they should still be allowed
19:56the UNHCR Gillian Triggs Signature Edition toilet paper,
20:00mainly because of the pineapple licorice.
20:03Personally, though, it's not the brand name I'd be offended by.
20:07It's the oxymoronic use of the word chewy
20:09under the word crunchola.
20:12Into the bin!
20:19Actually, while I'm here also,
20:21I'd like to complain about this.
20:24Now, why have Kellogg's reverse-engineered Coco Pops
20:27back into a liquid?
20:30Just like a chocolate milkshake,
20:32only, oh, no, that's exactly what it's like.
20:35Into the bin!
20:37Back to the show.
20:42To Sri Lanka now,
20:43or rather not to Sri Lanka now,
20:45where James Packer,
20:46seen here somewhere in this rolling mall,
20:49has abandoned plans
20:51for a $450 million casino development
20:53after the country's newly elected government
20:55decided to ban casinos.
20:57The Prime Minister of Sri Lanka
20:58even went so far as to warn James Packer,
21:00do not come to our country in your lifetime.
21:04Of course, Sri Lanka is predominantly a Buddhist country,
21:06so the good news for James Packer
21:08is that after his death,
21:09it's perfectly fine for him to return to Sri Lanka
21:11as maybe a moth or a small lizard.
21:15Back home now,
21:16and tending to our own problems again,
21:18several possible real solutions have emerged
21:20should the leadership issue raise its ugly head again.
21:23Colleagues of Mr Abbott
21:24who have been touted as likely contenders next time round.
21:27Malcolm Turnbull and Julie Bishop, of course.
21:30Scott Morrison,
21:32Christopher Pyne,
21:33Corey Bernardi.
21:35And it's sobering to remember
21:36that the strength of this field
21:38is really down to one thing.
21:39They've got a very good captain.
21:41It takes a good captain
21:42to help all the players of a team to excel.
21:48Now, it's interesting
21:49that none of his colleagues have pointed this out.
21:52Which does prove that only Tony Abbott
21:54has the leadership required
21:56to point out that he provides good leadership.
21:58And as he said only last week...
22:00Leadership is about making the right decisions
22:03for our country's future.
22:05It's not a popularity contest.
22:08Advisor to the PM's Chief of Staff
22:10vomatory catchment,
22:11the Prime Minister says
22:12leadership isn't a popularity contest.
22:14Thank fuck.
22:15Why then was the $20 cut
22:18to the Medicare rebate reversed?
22:19Didn't Mr Abbott back out of that
22:21because it was unpopular?
22:22No.
22:23Well, the paid parental leave scheme,
22:24the $7 Medicare copayment,
22:26the 40 job applications a month for Newstart,
22:29weren't they dropped because they were unpopular?
22:32No.
22:32No, if anything,
22:33they were all too popular, Sean.
22:35So why were they dropped?
22:38Because we're not about doing the popular thing, Sean.
22:41We're about doing the right thing for the country.
22:44Right, so those policies were the wrong thing for the country.
22:47Damn straight.
22:48Can I ask them,
22:49why would you be proposing policies
22:51that were wrong for the country in the first place?
22:53Because we thought they'd be unpopular.
22:55And we're here to do the unpopular thing.
22:59Right, so you're not going to just backflip on policy pronouncement
23:01because they prove unpopular.
23:03Yeah, I think you'll find as the year unfolds,
23:05we'll be rolling out a whole raft of unpopular measures.
23:09With Mr Abbott still in charge?
23:11There's one right there.
23:12Thank you very much, Robert Torrey.
23:13Well, coming up after the break,
23:15I talk to Kevin Andrews about what might have been...
23:19about what might have been a missed opportunity leadership team-wise.
23:23I believe that the team of Tony Abbott and Julie Gillard
23:28is the best leadership team for the Liberal Party.
23:32Well, you know...
23:33A Liberal-Labour coalition
23:37would certainly sort out the problems in the Senate.
23:40Also coming up later in the week...
23:42Hancock, Packer, Murdoch.
23:50Multi-millionaire dynasties already made into TV shows
23:53for a hungry Australian television-watching public.
23:57Hungry for stories to sate their hunger for these stories.
24:01Dick?
24:05Dick, these plugs aren't selling.
24:07Should I put them onto the remainder table?
24:09Hang on.
24:11What about if we bought all our stock from Asia
24:13and sold it for a huge marker?
24:16Selling cheap electronic goods at a profit?
24:20Jesus, Dick.
24:21Has it ever been done before?
24:23Probably.
24:24With a roll call of Australian talent
24:26as you've often seen them before.
24:28But, Dick, what about your future
24:30as an advocate against foreign ownership?
24:32That's in the future.
24:33And I'm a man who lives in the moment.
24:36And that moment is now.
24:39He's got a good point, Dick.
24:41Shut up and keep rebranding those computer consoles.
24:45Co-featuring Ryan Maloney as the Duke of Wales.
24:49I tell you what, darling.
24:51I, Prince Charles,
24:53will certainly say this about those bloody Aussies.
24:56They're certainly a lot more resourceful
24:58and worth our admiration
24:59than they think we bombs think they are.
25:02The House of Smith.
25:03Coming soon to ABC in 2015.
25:06Welcome back.
25:08Well, an ongoing inquiry into New South Wales police naughtiness
25:11continues to be going on
25:12and queries as to the police unlawfully bugging each other
25:15continue to be made.
25:17Now, I should stress
25:17that when I use the expression bugging each other,
25:20I'm not talking about the way work colleagues
25:22normally bug each other.
25:23Am I, Tosh?
25:23Get f***ed!
25:24I'm talking about the police employing improper
25:30and probably illegal tactics
25:32before the courts
25:33in order to plant listening devices
25:34and tape each other.
25:36Spasma Carmond has more.
25:38Is that all you want it before?
25:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:41Although, you know, hang around and watch
25:42because you were in this one.
25:43Uh, there.
25:44Look at that monitor.
25:45The surveillance warrants were unwarranted, in my opinion.
25:48I was being filmed without my knowledge
25:50and so I decided to fight fire with fire.
25:53Literally?
25:53No, no.
25:54I arranged for the deputy commissioner responsible
25:57to be secretly filmed
25:58arranging to take out another surveillance warrant
26:01against another deputy commissioner.
26:03Deputy commissioner f***ing Malpaiso.
26:06But this other deputy commissioner
26:07had done nothing wrong.
26:09No, he was a decoy.
26:10The bait in the honeypot
26:12we were using to snap shut the Venus flytrap.
26:16So to speak.
26:17I had no idea my good name and reputation
26:19were going to be used to entrap
26:21deputy commissioner Potter
26:22and when I found out
26:24that I was going to be filmed
26:25to legitimise
26:25deputy commissioner Payne's operation
26:27well I took my grievances to him
26:29and we had a conversation.
26:31Which you filmed?
26:33Secretly, yes.
26:33What the f*** are you about to say for yourself?
26:35Max, calm the f*** down.
26:36When I heard about deputy commissioner Payne meeting
26:39with deputy commissioner Malpaiso
26:40I was obviously very concerned, yes.
26:43It was then that I arranged to have the both of them
26:46separately filmed under the pretext of it being a news story
26:49to find out what they were up to.
26:52Was I involved?
26:53You were.
26:54I had no idea.
26:55I thought all this was above board
26:57or I would never have agreed to it
26:58and certainly not answered your questions
27:00to the extent that I have
27:01and in fact am continuing to do.
27:03I can stop this.
27:04The interview is over.
27:06Hang on.
27:06You're going to be surreptitious
27:07about putting people behind my back.
27:09Well I admit I had my suspicions
27:11and in fact filmed you and your crew filming me
27:13as insurance
27:15just in case I said anything incriminating.
27:17I knew about the filming
27:18obviously because I had arranged it
27:20but then I sort of forgot
27:22during the interview itself
27:23and took it seriously
27:25and ended up revealing far more than I should have.
27:30Oh what a tangled web we weave.
27:35Is that it?
27:36It's hardly in it.
27:37You're a f***ing idiot.
27:41Still to come.
27:43Full horror of climate change revealed.
27:46Melbourne will start looking more like Dubbo.
27:49MCG to get free Wi-Fi.
27:51The transmitter sends out a radio wave
27:53that goes around the stadium
27:54stops at the members stand
27:55then picks up again the rest of the way around.
27:57And what a difference 400 days make
28:00from a country in the process of deposing its leader
28:03to a country in the process of deposing its leader.
28:09Well finally on a positive note
28:12the symbolic countdown to global catastrophe
28:14the doomsday clock
28:15has been moved by scientists
28:16from five minutes to midnight
28:18to just three minutes to midnight
28:19or doomsday
28:20because of unchecked climate change
28:22and a nuclear arms race.
28:24What these idiot scientists don't seem to realise though
28:26is that when daylight saving starts again in October
28:29we'll wind our plots forward and our
28:31we'll all die.
28:34Goodbye.
28:41Charge baby.
28:42Aplausos.
28:45Aplausos.
28:47Aplausos.
28:48Aplausos.
28:48Aplausos.
28:49Aplausos.
28:49Aplausos.
28:49Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:50Aplausos.
28:51Aplausos.
28:51Aplausos.
28:51Aplausos.
28:52Aplausos.
28:52Aplausos.
28:52Aplausos.
28:52Aplausos.
28:53Aplausos.
28:53Aplausos.
28:54Aplausos.
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