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Honky Kong
  • 6/5/2025
Original Broadcast Date: March 27th 2013

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TV
Transcript
00:01Here's the stalwart man of Sanctus.
00:05Jake, here's the business name.
00:10His partner played his right beside him.
00:15Each day has to their face.
00:20All Sanctus rangers want to do these.
00:25Their work is never true.
00:29They fight, and fight for rights and justice.
00:34To enforce...
00:54Well, if you saw white smoke coming out of Parliament House last week,
00:57it wasn't signifying the election of a new leader.
01:00It was steam coming out of Simon Crean's ears.
01:02Simon had taken Kevin to the dance,
01:04but Kevin didn't like enough of the numbers
01:06to get up and get jiggy with it, unfortunately.
01:08Earlier in the day, the Prime Minister had sincerely apologised
01:11for the forced removal of children,
01:13while later in the day, the former Arts Minister
01:15sincerely apologised for the forced non-removal of the Prime Minister.
01:18But let's go back in time, shall we, to one day before the challenge,
01:22to the media reform bills.
01:23This is Mr Crean on how he thought all that had been handled.
01:27You won't get the right outcomes unless you go through proper process.
01:31And I hope... I hope it's another lesson to all of us
01:35about the right way to do things.
01:37Mmm.
01:38Well, I guess announcing a leadership challenge that doesn't exist
01:40is also a lesson about the right way to do things.
01:43If you're a bizarro!
01:45But let's go forward to one day later, after the challenge,
01:48when Mr Crean was talking about the government
01:50needing to put its best foot forward.
01:52If we do it all the time and we get rid of the static,
01:55then we can present as a real alternative.
01:58Now, I think that's the first time a sitting government
02:00has thought of itself as an alternative government.
02:02I know you've got to think ahead in an election,
02:04but Mr Crean seems to have actually travelled six months forward
02:07in time to win Labor in opposition.
02:09Now, on the plus side, that's now three caucus ballots in a row
02:13Julia Gillard has won,
02:14so she's virtually the black caviar of the ALP.
02:17But the good news is that the key Rudd supporters
02:20are now genuinely behind Julia Gillard,
02:22just a little further behind her than they were
02:24when they were on the front bench.
02:25Now, as for my take on all this,
02:28well, I don't want to say I told you so
02:30because there's one thing I can't stand,
02:32it's smugness in a news presenter.
02:35But two weeks ago, on this program, we said this.
02:39Well, Sean, I suspect as far as the labs are concerned,
02:41the Labor Party will be led to the next election
02:43by Julia Gillard and no-one else.
02:46In a kind of power-sharing arrangement.
02:48That's interesting.
02:49No-one else, certainly the dark horse in this race.
02:51Thanks, Francie.
02:53Well, no-one else turned out to be the dark horse
02:55in the leadership spill as well, Clancy Glanyard.
02:57Quite right, Sean.
02:59No-one else challenged Julia Gillard as I predicted.
03:02Didn't quite win, but gave it a red-hot go.
03:04And no-one else is to be admired for that, I think.
03:07Certainly not Kevin Rudd.
03:08But the electorate are loving the Prime Minister
03:11after she romped at home uncontested.
03:13With her popularity as preferred Prime Minister
03:16soaring to only 3% behind Tony Abbott
03:19and 21% behind Kevin Rudd.
03:22What are her chances come September 14th, do you think?
03:25Well, I think if she can recreate the conditions
03:28of the leadership spill, arrange that the election is uncontested,
03:32I think she'd have a very good chance of winning.
03:34Well, thanks very much, Clancy.
03:36Well, traditionally, leadership spills are held behind closed doors.
03:39And while we learn the outcome,
03:40we don't know exactly what goes on.
03:42But Mad Ass has come into possession of this footage,
03:44secretly recorded by Kim Carr on his phone.
03:47No, no, Kim Carr, not Kim Carnes.
03:52The iPhone footage shows the delicate machinations
03:56of just how caucus goes about handling a leadership challenge.
04:03Yes, you notice how none of the knives actually went in.
04:06Well, enough of that.
04:08Well, Britain's Leveson inquiry has led to key media reform legislation
04:12being passed and cross-party support for the setting up
04:14of a royal charter of a new independent press regulator,
04:17as Britain's erudite Prime Minister explains.
04:20We stand here today with a cross-party agreement
04:23for a new system of press regulation.
04:25It supports our great traditions
04:27of investigative journalism and free speech.
04:29And his equally erudite deputy confirmed.
04:32It is a victory for working together,
04:34for putting narrow interests to one side,
04:37for sticking with it,
04:38and today we turn a page on the mistakes of the past.
04:41And the also erudite opposition leader agreed.
04:44Today politicians have come together
04:46to put the victims first.
04:48In Australia, not so much.
04:51Senator Conroy's Finkelstein review inspired media reforms
04:54not only did not have the support of the opposition
04:56or the independents,
04:57it did not even have the support of some of those elected
04:59as members of the Labor Party.
05:01Ironically, I can't even show you
05:03how erudite our own politicians were
05:05because of a ban by the government
05:07on the media using parliamentary footage
05:09for satire and ridicule.
05:12Now, according to the ABC legal department,
05:15mad as hell is either satirical or ridiculous.
05:17So, we can't show you that footage.
05:20But Q&A is allowed to
05:22because it's serious journalism.
05:24Part of the exercise is to see if there's life,
05:27intelligent life outside of our solar system.
05:30Is there anything that's going to do this?
05:37Because I don't want to see that.
05:43To tell us what went wrong with Labor's media reforms,
05:45Pythagoras Anthrax from Senator Conroy's office.
05:48I think it was the ambit, Sean.
05:50It's preoccupied with newspapers.
05:52There were very few limits to online media news aggregators
05:55from which more and more people were getting their information
05:57on politics and current events.
05:59I said to Crystal, who does Penny Wong's office,
06:01I said, they might as well extend the reforms
06:03to include telegrams, Morse code,
06:05the emerging media of wax cylinders.
06:07I said to Mr Battelle, who empties Craig Emerson's bins,
06:10I said, it'll be the independents who will never let it through.
06:13Craig Thompson?
06:14I said to Svetlana, who scrapes the bat guino
06:16out from underneath Bob Cutter's desk.
06:18I said, given Craig Thompson's recent experience,
06:21I'm not surprised he wants to query every bill it comes across.
06:24Thank you very much, Pythagoras.
06:27Vomitory catchment.
06:29You think Senator Conroy's mistake was more one of strategy
06:32than principle, don't you?
06:33I do indeed, Sean.
06:36While Comrade Conroy marched around Red Square
06:39suppressing free speech with his dystopian vegetation.
06:43Yes, I should point out that Vomitory is here to provide balance.
06:48I'm very balanced, Sean.
06:51As I say on my blog site, if you're too left-wing,
06:54then you can't fly straight.
06:56That's just a meaningless epigram, though, isn't it?
06:58You know, if you lean too far to the right, you fall over.
07:00It doesn't really address the issue, does it?
07:04Well, I think the issue here, Sean,
07:06is that Labor underestimated the opposition.
07:08Trotting out their Minister for Communications
07:10meant the Libs got to trot out their Minister for Communications,
07:13Malcolm Turnbull.
07:15Witty, charming, urbane and highly intelligent.
07:18Yeah, I think we have footage of him being those things.
07:21Well, there's a brief window before Stephen Conroy regulates you all.
07:31If Stephen Conroy had let sleeping dogs lie
07:34and not try to push through those reforms of his,
07:36Malcolm wouldn't have been let loose all over the news cycle,
07:38making Conroy look like a total Gumby by comparison.
07:41Alright, interesting.
07:43Pythagoras, Anthrax, what, in your opinion, should Labor have done?
07:46Well, I was saying a Hassamart who disinfects Christopher Pyne's Jacuzzi
07:49on non-sitting days.
07:50Yes.
07:51Labor's plan should have been to draw out the opposition's weaker performers,
07:54your Erika Betzes and your Sophie Mirabellas, say.
07:57Alright, but how?
07:58Well, Bill Shorten and Greg Conbay should have both announced
08:00some doom-from-the-start reforms to industry and workplace relations,
08:03which begged for a response from corresponding opposition spokespeople,
08:06your Erika Betzes and your Sophie Mirabellas,
08:09and then Labor could have sat back and let your Erika Betzes
08:12and your Sophie Mirabellas do their thing.
08:14Okay, so what you're saying is Labor should have deliberately looked stupid
08:17in order to cunningly draw out certain members of the opposition
08:20so that they could look presumably even more stupid.
08:23Well, Senator Conroy got the first part right, just not the second.
08:27Sorry, sorry, sorry, Sean.
08:30I noticed that Pythagoras mentioned your Erika Betzes and your Sophie Mirabellas.
08:35I just want to point out that is just a figure of speech.
08:38There aren't multiple Erika Betzes and Sophie Mirabellas
08:41wandering around in our community.
08:48Yeah, well, thank God for that.
08:51The question of media diversity was very much at the heart of the proposed reforms.
08:55But is media diversity really an issue in Australia?
08:58I'm joined now by senior journalists from all over the country,
09:01from Brisbane's Courier Mail, Fertility Smite,
09:04from Sydney's Daily Telegraph, Kell Horror,
09:07from Melbourne's Herald Sun, Plastic Russell,
09:09from the Adelaide Avatoza, E.E. Coli,
09:11and from the Hobart Mercury, Sheena Easton Ellis.
09:14Ladies and gentlemen, I throw this question open to all of you.
09:17Does the concentration of media here leave us with too few voices?
09:21I don't think so, Sean.
09:23As far as my newspaper goes, we have our own unique voice,
09:26our own unique coverage of events,
09:28and we provide a very broad range of opinions.
09:30No-one tells us what to write, no-one tells us what to think.
09:33We're not working on the script.
09:35For example, the Daily Telegraph will express that he is
09:38in a completely different way than our own fund.
09:40All right, give me an example of a topic or an issue
09:42where your papers would have different points of view.
09:45Well, if you ask me, which is the best case in Australia,
09:48I say mine, but I don't see everyone else here
09:50because the green place is theirs.
09:52But I'm Sean, my newspaper is reading
09:54with one of the next steps to people like that.
09:57Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.
09:58Thanks, Sean.
10:00And in another political brouhaha, very funny,
10:03Richard Torbay, the National Party candidate...
10:05That's...that's...that's David Brent.
10:08Richard Torbay looks nothing like David Brent.
10:13Richard Torbay, the National Party candidate for New England,
10:16has been disendorsed
10:17and referred to the Independent Commission Against Corruption.
10:19Tony Abbott came out
10:20and was typically supportive of his coalition partner.
10:23In the end, it is a matter for the National Party.
10:28Well, no, fair enough, too.
10:29It's a separate party and it would be wrong of Mr Abbott
10:31to give an opinion about whether someone should
10:33or shouldn't run for the Nationals.
10:35And it's an approach that he's had
10:36ever since Richard Torbay was endorsed.
10:38Richard Torbay in New England
10:41is an outstanding candidate.
10:45Anyway, the man who wants to be
10:47the new endorsed candidate for New England
10:48is Barnaby Joyce.
10:50Is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
10:53And, of course, after the blunder
10:55of endorsing a candidate for the Nationals
10:56who turned out to be something of an embarrassment,
10:58Mr Abbott, who is a wily political animal,
11:00knows to play his cards
11:02pretty close to his chest from now on.
11:04He would make a very, very strong candidate.
11:10But is Barnaby Joyce...
11:12Is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
11:14Just being parachuted into this seat,
11:16does he actually have any real connection with New England?
11:20We're talking about the area where I was born,
11:22where my wife was born, where my four kids were born,
11:24where my mother lives, where my father lives,
11:26where my wife's mother lives, where my wife's father lives,
11:28where I went to primary school, where I went to university.
11:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, all right, simple...
11:32Simple yes would have probably done it.
11:34Oh, look, and on a positive note,
11:38congratulations to the new Minister of Small Business,
11:40Gary Gray, who's taken over from Chris Bowen.
11:44He's actually the sixth Minister to hold the portfolio
11:46in the last five years, proving that most ministers
11:49for small business do fail within the first two years.
11:59And still to come...
12:01Business as usual as Prime Minister's reshuffled cabinets sworn in.
12:07Historical first as two popes meet each other at Castel Gandolfo.
12:12And for employers who fear they've gone all the way with schooled migrants,
12:16Tony Abbott introduces the RU457 Morning After visa.
12:23Well, I hope you don't mind if I get a bit commercial for a moment,
12:26but the new Liberal Party ad really caught my eye.
12:29This is real. Have a look at this.
12:31The faceless men are desperate again,
12:33and it looks like Kevin O'Lemon's coming back.
12:36OK, it starts off with a portrayal of Labor's so-called faceless men
12:40as dementors from Harry Potter.
12:42Now, the Harry Potter reference...
12:46Right, I'm glad you agree.
12:47It's fair and balanced enough in the circumstances, I think, alright?
12:49But what I'm not sure about
12:51is why the lemon they're carrying breaks out into pustules.
12:55What's your take on this, Flournoy Quimby
12:57from advertising firm Beg Borough and Plagiarise?
13:01Well, Sean, I think the lemon represents the Labor Party.
13:04Yeah, well, obviously.
13:05Because they're not doing too well at the moment, are they?
13:07Yeah, alright, this is not the Gruen transfer.
13:10Don't just sit there and tell us what we already know for half an hour
13:12with a big self-satisfied smirk on your fat face.
13:17Tell us something we don't know for f*** sake.
13:21But ABC viewers like having what they already know
13:24reflected back to them by somebody on the TV.
13:27It makes them feel clever.
13:28Yeah, yeah, whatever.
13:30Professor Ian Orbspider, what's your theory?
13:32Well, Sean, presumably the whole thing is about the disease scurvy,
13:35which often manifests itself in the form of a general malaise,
13:38lethargy and the formation of spots on the skin.
13:41But the ontological problem for the libs is
13:43can a lemon actually contract scurvy given that
13:46citrus fruits contain so much ascorbic acid?
13:49Vitamin C is a traditional preventative against scurvy,
13:52as any primary school student or 18th century British sailor can tell you.
13:57Yeah, well, you know, we tried to book them, but they were busy.
14:00I eat mice.
14:05Yes, one final thing about the answer that confused me, Professor.
14:09It really confused me, was this.
14:11And Labour lemons never change their spots.
14:14A lemon never changes its spots.
14:17Is that a familiar aphorism to you? And is it true?
14:19Well, the original adage, Sean, refers to a very small subsection
14:23of the animal kingdom, specifically the leper.
14:25Ah, yes.
14:26To refer, to use it to apply to the fruit kingdom is absurd.
14:30You may as well say,
14:32a banana never forgets.
14:34Or let sleeping plums lie.
14:37Or refer to for flogging a dead nectar in.
14:40Alright. Thank you very much indeed, Professor.
14:42Sean, I think the secret to a great campaign ad
14:45is simplicity and cut-through.
14:47You want effective reach to your key demographics
14:51and maximum buy-in on your candidate's core competency.
14:54Oh, shut up!
14:56Let's have a look at an election ad put together
14:59by someone who knows what he's doing.
15:01A political journalist who has stepped back far enough
15:03to see the big picture.
15:05He's the most wanted man in the world.
15:08And he wants your vote.
15:09Even though he's 12,000 miles away, he can represent you in the Australian Senate
15:16thanks to a residency loophole and the fact his mother's house is in Mentone.
15:21So on September 14, vote for someone who has nothing to hide and an encrypted laptop.
15:31Julian Assange knows what you want because he's read your emails.
15:36Written and authorised by Jay Assange, WikiLeaks Party, Ecuador.
15:42November the 11th, 1975 and the unthinkable has happened.
15:45No, a cigar-smoking lizard hasn't won the Australian Open, although granted that would have been unlikely,
15:52particularly with the way Tennis Australia was run in the drug-fueled 1970s.
15:56Well, may we say God save the Queen.
16:03Because nothing will save the Governor General.
16:07The ABC's obsession with the dismissal continues unchecked this month
16:12with a slightly new documentary series on ABC1.
16:16Well, I remember, Malcolm came downstairs.
16:20He said, I've just had a phone call from Sir John Kerr.
16:25I said, what's he doing ringing you this time of night?
16:30He said, it's three o'clock in the afternoon.
16:33I said, oh, what did he want?
16:37He said, pardon?
16:39I said, what did he want?
16:41He said, who?
16:43I said, Sir John.
16:45He said, what are you talking about?
16:48I said, you just said Sir John Kerr rang you.
16:50He said, oh, that's right.
16:53And he was about to tell me when suddenly luncheon was served and the conversation drifted onto other things.
17:00But the next day he came home from work and I said, how was work today?
17:05He said, oh, much the same as yesterday except now I'm Prime Minister.
17:13I said, oh, really?
17:16What's it like?
17:18He said, oh, it's really weird sitting on the other side of the chamber.
17:23Everything's back to front.
17:24I reach my glass of water and it's on the other side.
17:29I expect it's like being a bizarro where everything you do is the opposite.
17:36But I will say one thing for you.
17:41The pay was better.
17:43The women behind the men behind the dismissal.
17:48Shall we have some more scots?
17:50Coming soon to ABC One.
17:52Darling, I'll get Malcolm to get us some scots.
17:58Hello.
18:00These days we're used to TV networks using their news bulletins to cross promote other programs on the same station.
18:05Even the ABC news at the end mentions what's coming up on 7.30.
18:08Mind you, at the end of 7.30, you never hear Lee Sale say, and coming up on Mad as Hell,
18:13Vomitoria Catchment talks to Sean McAuliffe about comparing Kevin Rudd to a pair of radioactive earrings.
18:18Excuse me.
18:20Hello.
18:22Really?
18:23Show me.
18:25And that is the program for tonight.
18:27Coming up on Mad as Hell, Vomitoria Catchment talks to Sean McAuliffe about comparing Kevin Rudd to a pair of radioactive earrings.
18:39Yeah, my bad.
18:42Anyway, my point is cross promotion is one thing, but we draw the line, don't we, at product placement on the news?
18:49Well, apparently not. It's Sky News.
18:51Look at that. He's talking about the Cypriots having their savings ripped out of their accounts while they're flogging breakfast cereal.
18:57Someone's getting a nice little kickback from Kellogg's on that one, eh? Helen Dally.
19:00And it doesn't end there. They keep subtly underscoring it by referring to regular news updates.
19:08We're on to you, Sky.
19:10OK, still on Sky News and Helen Dally fill-in, Tim Webster reported this story from earlier this week.
19:16The hunt is on for a Sydney truck driver who dumped more than two tonnes of asbestos outside two childcare centres.
19:21Thanks, Tim. Now, I appreciate that getting someone to take care of your asbestos is expensive, but surely there are cheaper ways than putting it in daycare.
19:30Especially if you don't get back to pick it up before they close.
19:34And coming up a little later on in news from countries that aren't Australia, we look at who has suffered the greater financial loss, Cyprus or Nathan Tinkler?
19:43The first news from countries other than Australia.
19:52Well, just when we thought the dust had settled on this story, the urgency in my voice suggests otherwise.
19:57Last week, the Duchess of Cambridge narrowly escaped a potential catastrophic incident at Aldershot Barracks in England.
20:03There to present officers from the 1st Battalion Irish Guards with sprigs of shamrock, the princess took a step backwards and suddenly became unsteady on her feet.
20:10Instinct told her to look downwards in the direction of her shoes, which confirmed her worst fears.
20:15The heel had become stuck in a metal grate.
20:18Thinking quickly, she grasped her husband's hand in a race against time, bent down to pull the heel free.
20:24Afterwards, the Duchess laughed it off so readily, it was almost hard to believe she'd just been through such a terrifying ordeal.
20:30But she had, hadn't she? Yana Nine Bottles, shoemaker to the stars.
20:33What are we dealing with here? Criminal negligence on the part of a shoe designer asleep at the wheel or something more sinister?
20:40Sean, I think there's much more to this than meets the eye.
20:43From the footage and photos that I've seen, it appears to be a standard width heel on a black suede shoe, but I don't know.
20:49Something's not right here.
20:51Are you satisfied there's no connection between the shoe manufacturer and Al-Qaeda sales in the UK?
20:56I can't rule, I can't rule anything in or out, Sean.
20:59Alright, thank you, Yana.
21:01Alright, Elaine Bonbon, if I could bring you in now.
21:03You're one of Darwin's top 13 maternity wear consultants.
21:06Should the Duchess have been wearing this type of heel in the first place?
21:09No, of course not, and it's outrageous.
21:11And this is symptomatic of a conservative government that's become completely dysfunctional.
21:16A flatter shoe with a lower, wider heel would have seen this whole incident averted.
21:21Okay, what should happen next?
21:22Her entire footwear collection needs to be quarantined immediately and examined by a government-appointed podiatrist before she takes one more step.
21:29Alright then, Scotty Offenbach, lecturer in communications at the MX Institute.
21:33You believe the media may be making too much of this, but before I come to you, Toby Couscous, civil engineer to the stars.
21:39How close do we come to disaster here?
21:41Oh, Sean, I think the Duchess and in fact the entire Commonwealth of Nations have really dodged a bullet.
21:45And I think there should be an independent commission of inquiry set up headed by a retired judge.
21:48I mean, who designs a great without first checking the width of the heels of the footwear of the Duchess of Cambridge?
21:53Yes.
21:54And why does it take a near tragedy like this before they start replacing every great in the country that presents a danger to her?
22:00Alright, alright. Scotty Offenbach, I'm bringing in clinical psychologist Madeleine Tears now.
22:04Now, Madeleine, the image of the Duchess after this incident smiling.
22:07What is the depth of the psychological damage that that smile could be hiding?
22:12A post-traumatic stress often takes some time to manifest, Sean, but at some point in the future, a reminder of this trauma, whether it's holding her husband's hand, putting on a shoe, smiling, any of these things could trigger a psychotic episode and render her completely insane.
22:25Okay. How will that affect her relationship with the royal family?
22:29Oh, she'll fit in better.
22:31You know, I just can't believe it's happened. And why to her, Madeleine? She doesn't deserve this.
22:35Oh, tragedy walks into people's lives every day, Sean.
22:38Yeah, well, why can't tragedy get its heels stuck in a grate?
22:42Now, Scotty Offenbach.
22:43Sean.
22:44Later in the program, we'll be taking a more in-depth look at what's being called Great Gate, with biomechanics expert Bob Mozart,
22:50paediatrician Rhiannon Vitch,
22:53workplace safety consultant Granita Naim,
22:56landscape architect Po-M,
22:59drainage supplies retailer Sir Nigel Liberace,
23:03and Peter the Possum Man.
23:04On the ground.
23:06I'll look forward to it.
23:07Good.
23:08Thank you, Scotty.
23:09Well, briefly in other news, the president...
23:11Oh.
23:12Well, briefly in other news, the president of Myanmar...
23:14Actually, he's gone now, so we can call it Burma again.
23:17The president of Burma has visited Australia for talks with Prime Minister Gillard.
23:21Thane Sane, who travelled mainly on the plane, visited Parliament House, where several protesters made their objections known, and also had other specific demands.
23:34Product placement again. It's disgraceful.
23:37Breaking news now, and in a move that suggests that the board of David Jones should replace Labour caucus, Miranda Kerr has been replaced as David Jones ambassador by fellow model Jessica Gomes.
23:51Style and ephemera consultant Epiphany Damascus. This appears to be a textbook transition to power. Presumably Simon Crean wasn't involved.
23:59I don't believe he even shops there, Sean.
24:01All right. How was this coup pulled off so bloodlessly?
24:04Well, Gomes supporters tell me that she simply went to Kerr and basically said, look, I've got the numbers. 34, 22, 34.
24:11Right.
24:13Numbers that Kevin Rudd could only dream of, and we'll have the rest of that interview later on in the programme.
24:20Epiphany Damascus, thank you for your time.
24:21Pleasure, Sean.
24:25I certainly look forward to seeing that.
24:26Of course, it isn't just Labour and the Coalition and the Greens and Julian Assange who are trying to seduce you into voting for them this year.
24:33Cherry Oh Baby has much, much more.
24:36The sex party will launch its bid for the hearts, minds and genitalia of Western Sydney in this modest hall tonight.
24:44Here at this podium, sex party candidate Ian Scroff will attempt to convince the locals that, contrary to what Tony Abbott thinks, this is sex party heartland.
24:57I spoke to Mr Scroff at his Adult Entertainment Emporium earlier today.
25:02Mr Scroff, I guess we're aware of the sex party's call for the decriminalisation of drugs, for gender equality and the like.
25:09But what's the sex party's position, as it were, on climate change?
25:15Is it an unusual position?
25:18Right. Well, the sex party believes unequivocally that the earth is warming and that deforestation and fossil fuels have caused an increased concentration of greenhouse gases.
25:27Now, all the synthesis reports and the International Science Academy support our view, and the view of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change,
25:34that the average surface temperature of the planet has increased by 0.6 of a degree Celsius since the late 19th century.
25:42And by 0.17 of a degree per decade in the last 30 years.
25:46Yes, quite right, Zelda, thank you.
25:48Now, this is caused primarily by carbon dioxide and methane gas emissions, and as they increase, so will the warming,
25:54with temperatures predicted to rise by between 1.4 to 5.8 degrees Celsius by the year 2100.
26:00Tell her about the fourth assessment report.
26:04Yes, Pearl, absolutely will do.
26:06The fourth assessment report of the IPCC predicts that sea levels will rise from between 7 to 23 inches by the end of the century and a further 4 to 8 if the polar ice melt continues.
26:17So, the sex party is expecting rises of several inches?
26:22Yes.
26:25Cock.
26:26No idea.
26:32Cheerio, baby.
26:34Mad as hell.
26:38And not coming up cos Tractor Monkeys is a show the whole family should watch.
26:43Israel fears attack by villains from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
26:46I've never felt better in my life, claims Lindsay Lohan.
26:51And Prime Minister's body double fools no one during ill-advised joint appearance.
26:56Well, a final thought for this week, if I may be permitted, it wasn't just Kevin Rudd who didn't make it to third base on his date with Destiny last week.
27:05There were others who lost out as well.
27:08In fact, in a way, aren't we all losers?
27:10How can I give voice to all of us, regardless of political stripe, trapped as we are down the well of national consciousness?
27:16Uh, I know.
27:17Of all the love I have won or have lost, there is one love I should never have lost.
27:30She was a girl in a million, my friend. I should have known she would win in the end.
27:41I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's here to me. I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be.
27:51Although I laugh and I act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a crown.
28:02My tears are falling like rain from the sky. Is it for her or myself that I cry?
28:10I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's here to me. I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be.
28:22What have I done to deserve such a face? I realise I have left it to face.
28:31And so it's true that pride comes before a fall. I'm telling you so that you won't lose all.
28:41I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's here to me. I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be.
28:52I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's here to me. I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's here to me.
28:59Charge, baby.
29:05Copyright 2018.