Original Broadcast Date: March 20th 2013
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:001, 2, 3
00:30Well, thank you, folks.
00:41Well, a lot of great and important news this week.
00:43They're bringing an extinct frog to life,
00:46and Al Pacino's playing Phil Spector in a TV movie.
00:49Those are two separate stories, by the way.
00:51But neither of these things sufficiently riled me this week.
00:54No, no, no.
00:55Tonight, instead, I'm going to be biting the hand that feeds me.
00:58Come here.
00:59There's nothing that the media enjoys more than a good story about itself,
01:03except maybe a bad story about itself.
01:05Either way, that's what's got me hit up this week.
01:08Self-absorption.
01:10It all started innocently enough with the Communications Minister, Stephen Conroy,
01:14making a perfectly reasonable announcement about media reforms at a press conference.
01:17Shit, yeah, sorry.
01:20Don't tell ACMA.
01:21And fair enough, he should run away halfway through.
01:28He announced the government's deadline for the passing of the reforms was the end of this week.
01:32And times are wasting, because, you know, they've got an election coming up in several months.
01:36Shit!
01:36Kim Williams is the CEO of the aptly named News Limited.
01:47He's a very busy man and has many demands on his time.
01:49So I'm pleased to be interviewing instead professional Kim Williams impersonator, Calliope Dupre.
01:53Calliope, why all the urgency?
01:56Well, exactly, Sean.
01:57Six media bills introduced into Parliament,
02:00the keystone cop of which is the creation of the Public Interest Media Advocate
02:04to regulate media mergers and oversee the Australian Press Council.
02:08Let's discuss it, is all Kim's saying.
02:12News Limited's not an unreasonable multimedia conglomerate.
02:15They just want to be heard.
02:16Can a word or two be changed, for example?
02:18Rather than oversee the Press Council or oversee the fact that News Limited might want to buy Channel 10,
02:24can we just use the word overlook?
02:26Just a couple of letters difference, but it makes all the difference.
02:30And you're right, Sean.
02:31What's the hurry?
02:33Cup of tea.
02:33Oh, thank you very much, Kim.
02:35Calliope.
02:35Calliope, of course.
02:36Now, it's important, Sean.
02:37Even though I may look, sound and act exactly like the real Kim Williams,
02:41I am not legally Kim Williams.
02:44In the same way that even though the Herald Sun, the Daily Telegraph,
02:48the Adelaide Advertiser, the Courier-Mail and MX
02:50are all virtually indistinguishable from each other,
02:53they are, in fact, different newspapers.
02:55Sugar.
02:56Please.
02:57News Limited's always been transparent in the way they do things, Sean.
03:01They're not trying to hide anything here.
03:03Just like News Corp and the Fox Group.
03:06Two completely separate legal entities.
03:08One run by Rupert Murdoch and the other, well, not really.
03:12Kim, did you just put sleeping powder in my coffee?
03:14Calliope.
03:15And yes, I did, Sean, just to help you relax.
03:17There is nothing to worry about.
03:19It's win-win.
03:20For who?
03:21News Corp and News Limited.
03:22Now, incidentally, Sean, we would like you to accept these two tickets
03:26to Saturday's Melbourne Storm Brisbane Broncos Clash.
03:29They're not playing each other this weekend, are they?
03:31Oh, I think they'll see it our way.
03:33Plus, this hamper, containing the latest releases from 20th Century Fox DVD,
03:38a week subscription to Fox Sports valued at over $1,000,
03:42plus copies of Vogue, GQ, Gardening Australia, Masterchef magazine,
03:46Truckin' Life, Donaghy and Tattoo.
03:47Oh, wow, fantastic.
03:49And coming up later on, the actual Kim Williams advocating the right of people to speak freely.
03:54But there was no detail on this yesterday either.
03:56No, there is no detail.
03:57You suspect this advocate will actually accept it.
03:58Well, frankly, I think that's a travesty of public process.
04:02Or travesty.
04:03Stephen Conroy's media reform run-out sale may or may not be coming to an end this week,
04:08but one of the other proposed reforms that caught my eye,
04:11as one of Fairfax's 50 most influential people on television,
04:14on Fairfax's 20th worst show on television,
04:19was the halving of licence fees if a TV network commits to 1,490 hours of extra Australian content a year.
04:27And it strikes me that if this happens, there'll be winners and losers.
04:31Probably for another 15 series.
04:38Which is good news for us all.
04:40But it's been bad news for the man who started it all.
04:46The grand architect of the proposed reforms, Senator Conroy,
04:50who was accused by the Daily Telegraph of joining some sort of despot supergroup,
04:54comprising Stalin, Chairman Mao, Castro, Kim Jong-un, Robert Mugabe,
04:59and the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
05:02Brioni Lido Shuffle is media commentator in residence at her home in Eltham.
05:06Brioni.
05:06Brioni.
05:08Sean, I've been reading the telly since I was a girl.
05:13The hormones I was taking prior to my sex change op made me switch to the Herald.
05:19Then, when I reverted to my original gender after a lightning strike,
05:24I went back to reading the telly again.
05:27Alright.
05:27Now, do you think they've been too rough on Senator Conroy?
05:31Sean, defending the right to freedom of speech by abusing it is a noble gesture,
05:36a gauntlet flung into the face of one's own argument.
05:39But I'm afraid it's beneath even the telly.
05:42Stalin and Mao caused the death of millions.
05:45As far as we're aware, Senator Conroy hasn't killed a single person.
05:50Castro, Kim Jong-un, and Ahmadinejad have all threatened the peace of the world with missiles and nuclear programs.
05:57Senator Conroy's not done that yet.
05:59Robert Mugabe's lust for power has destroyed the economy of his country.
06:04Senator Conroy has very sensibly left that to Wayne Swann.
06:08Now, hypothetical scenario, Brioni.
06:11You're the editor of the telly and you have to make yet another lumpen analogy
06:14between the dictator of a totalitarian regime and an Australian politician.
06:18Who do you choose?
06:19Sean, I actually think there's a comparison to be made between Prince Charles and Kevin Rudd.
06:27Oh, yes.
06:28Both are men of great ambition and want the top job,
06:34but in order to assume power, they have to displace the woman already in charge.
06:39Yes.
06:40Plus, both men have been the subject of commemorative crockery.
06:44It seems clear, though, that those who wish to fashion public opinion and manipulate government
06:50will have to do so using less traditional media,
06:52as MAH's special reporter Saffron Cordy reports very specially.
06:57While a TV network like Channel 10 can reach billions of people each week
07:02and newspapers hundreds more,
07:04it takes a very special kind of media to be able to really reach into the heart
07:08and convey all the drama and emotion of the mining industry
07:11and just what it means on a personal level to Hancock prospecting.
07:15That's why Gina Reinhardt has bought the Australian Ballet.
07:20We were concerned about editorial control of our program,
07:24but have been assured by Miss Reinhardt's people that the ballets will be unchanged,
07:29but for the occasional mention of mining
07:31and how good deregulating the industry would be for Australia.
07:34For example, Giselle is normally about a young girl from the Rhineland
07:40who is won over by a nobleman disguised as a peasant who gets killed by a sword.
07:44Now it's about a woman in her 50s from the Reinhardt land
07:47who wins over the federal government disguised as a media baron
07:50and gets tax concessions.
07:52Tax concessions now!
07:54Like all of us, I was concerned about the name and content change.
07:59Also, there doesn't seem to be much dancing.
08:02I'm sitting behind a desk for most of the piece,
08:04talking on the phone to like-minded mining magnates or Julia Gillard
08:08while the logos for various companies are carried across the stage by the corps de ballet.
08:13But I do get to do the love duet with Prince Albrecht.
08:16That remains intact, thankfully.
08:19And who plays Prince Albrecht?
08:21Andrew Bolt.
08:21Gina Reinhardt was unavailable for comment.
08:26Saffron Cordial, mad as hell.
08:30Well, the election now and the Labor government have finally come out
08:33and said what they've been all saying behind closed doors for some time now.
08:36If it has to have any chance at all, it needs to stop talking about itself.
08:40If the Labor Party wants to keep talking about itself...
08:43Well, we don't do better by talking about ourselves.
08:45Julia Gillard's told her MPs,
08:47Labor must stop talking about itself.
08:49Continuing not to talk about itself is Labor communications advisor, Dawn Raid.
08:55Dawn, what sort of things do you need to stop saying about yourselves?
08:59Well, for a start, we need to stop talking about the polls,
09:02about the divisions within the party,
09:04and about whether we should change leaders.
09:05All right, because it's damaging the party, isn't it?
09:07Have you seen the polls?
09:09We're getting hammered.
09:09All right.
09:10How has the government reacted?
09:13Oh, well, they're causing great divisions.
09:14Everyone's talking about whether we should change leaders,
09:16about who's getting how many votes...
09:17No, no, no, no, no, to the new policy of not mentioning those sorts of things.
09:21Oh, we've all agreed not to do it.
09:22OK, so what should you be talking about?
09:25Oh, we should be talking about the thousands of jobs we've created,
09:29the low unemployment rates,
09:31the interest rates we've maintained, the education revolution...
09:33Instead of?
09:35Well, instead of how we can't win the election based on the polls
09:37and whether we should change leaders.
09:39All right, so let's talk about the economy.
09:40We seem to have come through the worst of the GFC
09:42in pretty reasonable shame, haven't we?
09:44No, absolutely we have.
09:45It's been a remarkable result given the circumstances.
09:48What circumstances?
09:49Well, the fact that there's great divisions within the party
09:51because of the polls and the changing leadership.
09:54All right, all right.
09:54Now, you can see how talk like that could be damaging.
09:57I've got to stop, Sean.
09:58All right, thanks for that, Dawn.
09:59And what about a Colotto smoked ham?
10:01That's on its way to you.
10:02Colotto, small goods, big flavour.
10:07Lovely.
10:07All right.
10:08And later in the program, we take a...
10:10I could take it into caucus.
10:11Maybe I could make them all shut up
10:13and stop talking about how depressing the polls are
10:15while they're stuffing themselves with ham.
10:16Yeah, that's a good idea.
10:17OK, later on in the program...
10:18Or I could stick it up the Prime Minister's jacket
10:20just in case someone tries to stab her in the back.
10:23All right. Excellent.
10:24Later in the program, I speak to Liberal Party strategist
10:27McDonald Estuary about this brave new strategy.
10:29Did you see the interview I did earlier with Dawn Raid
10:33about this new strategy?
10:34I did, yes.
10:35Yeah, I was really happy with it.
10:37Oh, yes?
10:37I thought it was really probing and that, you know.
10:40But he moved along and there were no pauses or anything.
10:43Mm-hm.
10:43Well, the Shadow Minister for Education, Christopher Pyne,
10:50appeared on Q&A last week, going head-to-head...
10:53Oh, come on!
10:56That is not fair.
10:57Can we put up an actual picture of Christopher, please?
11:04Big fans of Christopher Pyne.
11:10Anyway, Christopher Pyne went head-to-head
11:11with the Minister for School Education, Peter Garrett,
11:14on the vital and complex question of education funding.
11:17They talked about the Gonski Report,
11:19different funding models,
11:20the mix of government and private education.
11:22And it got me thinking, you know,
11:23cos it's Q&A and I drifted off.
11:25Peter...
11:25Peter...
11:26Peter...
11:26Peter Garrett fronted Midnight Oil for all those years.
11:29Which band would Christopher Pyne most likely have been in?
11:32What do you think he would have done?
11:33Ah, would it have been Air Supply?
11:36Rose Tattoo?
11:38Tism?
11:41Send your entries to...
11:43It was a rhetorical question.
11:44This isn't a real competition.
11:45Care of the ABC, et cetera.
11:46And you could win.
11:48You know, we make our joke, but I admire Kevin Rudd.
11:51His work ethic is beyond compare.
11:53So what you like about him, he works hard.
11:55In fact, he works so hard that often one job is not enough
11:58and he seems quite prepared to take over someone else's as well.
12:01Case in point, a press mall were rolling about after Mr Rudd this week
12:05and not content to simply answer questions,
12:07he mucked in with the journalists
12:08and started asking questions as well.
12:11Why was this individual incarcerated by the Israeli authorities?
12:17That is important.
12:18We still do not know.
12:20It's a good question.
12:21A good question by Mr Rudd.
12:22And quite effectively deflected by him as well.
12:25And the second is this...
12:26Stay here with me.
12:27And the second is this...
12:28Stay here, will you, all right?
12:31He's telling the cameraman to stop so he can doorstop himself
12:33and ask some questions and not let himself get away.
12:35Clever thinking.
12:37Was there any connection between this case
12:40and that concerning the illegal use of Australian passports
12:45by Israeli intelligence services?
12:47I do not know the answer to either of those questions.
12:50I wait to find out.
12:52Wow!
12:53Mr Rudd's really putting himself in the hot seat, isn't he?
12:55But you notice he plays a nice straight bat there to his own question.
12:58He knows it's Bob Carr's territory.
13:00Then just when he's got himself on the ropes, he storms off.
13:03Are you Labor's saviour?
13:06Wow, fantastic.
13:08Presumably he asks himself about the leadership challenge.
13:11He really does go too far sometimes.
13:13And later on in the programme,
13:17is Tony Abbott a misogynist?
13:19I talk with Marion Crackdown from left-wing flotation think tank,
13:22the Pons Institute.
13:24So you don't think Abbott's a misogynist?
13:27Well, look, as I've been pointed out,
13:28his wife's a woman, his three daughters are all women,
13:30he's surrounded one of them.
13:31Well, what's your argument?
13:33That he went to his wife's gynecologist and said,
13:35I love women, I'll have three, thanks.
13:37No, no, but he lives with four women,
13:39so how can he say he doesn't like women?
13:40I live with irritable bowel syndrome.
13:42It doesn't mean I like it.
13:49Irritable bowel syndrome, ladies and gentlemen.
13:51Well, here's an interesting thing,
13:56as Helen Dally tells us from the Sky News video wall.
13:59There's a new plan to help parents struggling
14:01with inflexible childcare.
14:04500 families will get to trial a system of round-the-clock care
14:08to see if it works for centres as well as parents.
14:11But there's already criticism it doesn't go far enough.
14:14Round-the-clock care not going far enough?
14:17Is it possible to expand our day beyond 24 hours?
14:19Professor Ian Orbsweider.
14:21Fascinating question, Sean.
14:24Time dilation due to relative velocity symmetric between observers
14:28is, of course, well known.
14:30But that would involve sending the child into space
14:32while the observer remained on Earth,
14:34which would, I assume, contravene several childcare regulations.
14:39The only other way to increase time terrestrially
14:42is to harness the interior of a wormhole,
14:45the cost of which has not, so far as I'm aware,
14:47been factored into the government's budget for this scheme.
14:50However, there are planets in our solar system
14:53with relatively longer days than Earth's.
14:55So, if the carer and the child were both there,
14:58then Bob's your uncle.
14:59Well, why doesn't he look after them?
15:02Now, Jupiter's speedy rotation makes its day
15:05the equivalent of just a 9.9-hour Earth day.
15:08So, no good for a policeman or a paramedic
15:10or a nurse on night duty.
15:11They wouldn't see their child for days at a time.
15:14What about Mars?
15:15Well, you're only gaining 39 minutes and 35 seconds
15:18for a Martian day.
15:20Now, for the scheme to go far enough and satisfy Helen Daly,
15:24I'd be building your childcare centres on Mercury,
15:28where a single rotation on its axis
15:30takes 58 Earth days and 15 hours.
15:34Although, as a consequence,
15:35temperatures do exceed 400 degrees Celsius.
15:38So, very important for the kids to wear a hat.
15:41Oh, yes, yes.
15:41Thank you very much, Professor Ian Orbspider.
15:54Embattled Liberal Senator Arthur Sinodinos.
15:56He's the one on the right.
15:58The other one is Barnaby Joyce.
16:00Is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?
16:03Anyway, poor old Arthur is still being attacked
16:06and defended for his failure to declare certain directorships
16:10and his unknowing connection with star ICAC witness Eddie Obeid.
16:14Penny Wong said this.
16:15It doesn't really sort of pass the person in the street test, though,
16:19to say, I forgot I was a director of six organisations.
16:23Whereas Tony Abbott responded by saying,
16:25there is a world of difference
16:28between exploiting an official position for personal gain
16:32and inadvertently overlooking to declare
16:35a couple of not-for-profit directorships.
16:39Well, it's a complicated story, this one.
16:40Perhaps the best way to explain it
16:42is through the prism of popular culture.
16:50OK, it's a bit like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
16:53Arthur Sinodinos is Jim Carrey.
16:55Who, in order to get over an unhappy association with Eddie Obeid,
16:59Kate Winslet,
16:59has his memory erased,
17:01but unfortunately it also erases his ability
17:03to accurately recall five other directorships.
17:06No, that doesn't work out.
17:06That's ridiculous.
17:08It's like, um...
17:09It's like Alfred Hitchcock's Spellbound.
17:12Arthur is Gregory Peck.
17:15He suffers a terrible trauma,
17:16finding out he was director of a company
17:18that had connections with Eddie Obeid
17:20and loses his memory.
17:21And it's only when he's confronted
17:22with what's happened by Ingrid Bergman
17:25The Financial Review.
17:26That his memory returns
17:28and he...
17:28No, hang on, no, sorry.
17:29No, that would involve Sinodinos
17:30falling in love with The Financial Review
17:32at the end,
17:33which is unlikely to happen.
17:34All right.
17:35It's like Tom Cruise's Vanilla Sky.
17:38Best forgotten about entirely.
17:40And that's learning about life
17:45through pop culture.
17:51Barnaby Joyce.
17:55Actually, that reminds me.
17:56I just want to try something out.
17:58Many of you will be familiar
17:59with Midsummer Murders.
18:00Yeah?
18:01It's a great murder mystery on the ABC.
18:04Actually, as murder mysteries go,
18:05it's the second best one
18:06I can think of.
18:11Anyway.
18:14Anyway, its central character
18:16is DCI Tom Barnaby.
18:18But what's his wife's name?
18:19Joyce.
18:21That's right.
18:21Her name is Joyce.
18:23Joyce Barnaby.
18:24Is that the channel?
18:26Choo-choo.
18:28Anyway.
18:29Two political firsts this week.
18:31Newly appointed Northern Territory
18:32Chief Minister Adam Giles
18:33became this country's
18:34first indigenous state
18:35or territory leader.
18:36While his dumped predecessor,
18:38Terry Mills,
18:39became the first federal
18:40or state leader
18:40to lose his job
18:41while outside the country.
18:43Adam Giles' swearing in
18:45took place in Darwin
18:45earlier this week.
18:47Whereas most of Terry Mills'
18:48swearing took place,
18:49I think, at Tokyo Airport.
18:52Technically, I suppose,
18:53that should have been news
18:54from a country
18:55that's not Australia.
19:00Venezuela's former president,
19:02Hugo Chavez,
19:03is unlikely to be embalmed
19:04in order to be placed
19:05on permanent display
19:06in a museum
19:07because authorities
19:08have left it too late.
19:11To avoid similar problems,
19:13Italy's former Prime Minister,
19:15Silvio Bellasconi,
19:16has already had himself
19:17embalmed
19:17and intends to lie
19:20not only in state
19:21but also on the stand
19:22in a series of
19:23up-and-coming criminal trials.
19:26Well, his body
19:27scarcely moved
19:28into the granny flat
19:28out the back of the Vatican
19:29and already
19:30there are those
19:31who can barely remember
19:32the name of Pope Emeritus
19:34the whatever.
19:37Replacing a resigned pope
19:43for the first time
19:43in 600 years
19:44and by the first
19:45non-European appointment
19:46in 1,000 years
19:47is big news.
19:48And, of course,
19:49the public's appetite
19:50for this Halley's Comet
19:51of religious history
19:52was so insatiable
19:53that the day after
19:55the papal election,
19:55no lesser news provider
19:57than 9MSN,
19:58ranked it the second
19:59most popular story
20:00of the day
20:01after released
20:02lab chimps
20:03see light
20:03for the first time
20:04but before mother
20:06tries to sell her child
20:07on eBay.
20:09But the good news
20:10is that the world's
20:111.2 billion Catholics
20:12have a new pope
20:13and thank heavens
20:14because Rome's
20:16not a city
20:16that needs any more
20:17black smoke
20:17pumped into it.
20:19Pope Francis I
20:19brings a much-needed
20:21Latin American influence
20:22to the Vatican.
20:23A bit of salsa,
20:24a bit of tango,
20:25a bit of carnaval.
20:33It certainly makes
20:34the previous pope's
20:35float look a bit tame.
20:44Practicing Satanist
20:45Xerxes Minogue,
20:46you must be disappointed
20:47that once again
20:49a Catholic
20:49has got the nod here
20:50but can this change
20:51of leader
20:52give them a bounce
20:53in popularity?
20:54Oh, well,
20:54I don't want to get
20:55into any personal attacks
20:56and I'm sure
20:57Jorge's a nice enough bloke
20:59but the Catholics
21:00have shown
21:01that they are
21:02incapable
21:02of running a church.
21:04I think people
21:04have had enough
21:05and I think
21:06if you want to
21:06change the church
21:07you have to
21:07change the deity
21:09and Satan
21:10and Satanism
21:11are the only
21:12sensible options.
21:13Alright, well if
21:14if a Satanist
21:15wins the next papal
21:16election
21:16will you guarantee
21:17an end to
21:18Christian rock music?
21:19Oh, as God
21:19is my witness.
21:20Okay, thank you
21:21very much
21:21Xerxes.
21:22Well, the consensus
21:23view of Pope Francis
21:24though is that
21:25he's a genuinely
21:26humble man
21:26who eschews
21:27the trappings
21:28of office
21:28eschews, eschews
21:32bless you
21:32Thank you
21:33But the voting
21:34to elect the Pope
21:35is a highly
21:36secretive business
21:37Once the conclave
21:37convenes
21:38jamming devices
21:39prevent any
21:39electronic surveillance
21:40and there is no
21:41access to telephones
21:42or internet
21:43None of the cardinals
21:44is allowed to say
21:45anything to anyone
21:46in the outside world
21:47It's just as if
21:47somebody had reported
21:48a case of sexual
21:49impropriety to them
21:50However
21:54However, Chinese
21:55government hacker
21:56and good friend
21:56of Mad as Hell
21:57Patrick O'Shaughnessy
21:58not his real name
21:59broke through
22:00the Vatican's
22:01security shield
22:02and procure
22:02this audio recording
22:04of proceedings
22:05within the conclave
22:06Round 5
22:08Cardinal A. Scola
22:101 vote
22:11Cardinal C. Schoenborn
22:142 votes
22:15Cardinal J. Bergoglio
22:183 votes
22:19I declare
22:21the winner
22:21of the 2013
22:23paper conclave
22:24Cardinal J. Bergoglio
22:26Argentina
22:27And sadly
22:30it cuts out there
22:31just before
22:32Bruce McEvaney
22:32interviews him
22:33And coming up
22:35in sport
22:36the controversy
22:36surrounding the
22:37Cronulla Sharks
22:38having already
22:39received a visit
22:39from Asada
22:40how much worse
22:41could it get?
22:45Our thoughts
22:46and our prayers
22:47are with them
22:47in this terrible time
22:49The first sport
22:51and Maggie Bathysphere
22:52and her non-commentary team
22:53join us now
22:54from their
22:54Fish Stadium
22:55cubbyhole
22:55we're recording
22:56to the 2014
22:57Winter Olympics
22:58calendar
22:58the games
22:59are still on
22:59next year
23:00Maggie
23:00we've heard
23:01complaints about
23:02construction of
23:03facilities being
23:03behind schedule
23:04and now there's
23:04concern about
23:05plant and animal
23:06habitats being
23:07wiped out by the
23:07building going on
23:08in Sochi National Park
23:09Yeah
23:10nah
23:10that's all on
23:11target Sean
23:11quite a few species
23:12should be completely
23:13extinct by the
23:14opening ceremony
23:15on February 7th
23:16Alright
23:17ecologists from
23:18the WWF say
23:19it will cause
23:20irreparable damage
23:21to the environment
23:22Oh Sean
23:22I think it's just
23:23sour grapes
23:24on their part
23:25you know
23:25the Olympics
23:26are thinking
23:26of giving
23:27wrestling
23:27the old
23:27heave-ho
23:28so the WWF
23:29starts arcing up
23:30over a couple
23:31of dead ferrets
23:32who gave that
23:33quote anyway
23:34Hulk Hogan
23:35No no no
23:35Maggie
23:35the World Wildlife
23:37Fund
23:37not the World
23:37Wrestling Federation
23:38Bloody hell
23:39from the look
23:40of those black
23:41eyes
23:41you'd think
23:41they'd be glad
23:42they're banning
23:42the sport
23:43Ok
23:43onto a non-contact
23:45sport
23:46Mags
23:46the cricket
23:47four of our
23:48test cricketers
23:48sacked from the
23:49team during the
23:50third test
23:50That's a farce
23:51Sean
23:51a complete farce
23:52Sure
23:53Coach Mickey
23:53Arthur describes
23:54it as
23:55a line in the
23:55sand moment
23:56for us
23:56Yeah well I
23:57reckon Mickey
23:58needs to draw
23:58a few more lines
23:59in the sand
24:00and connect them
24:00up so they spell
24:01help
24:02Alright
24:02So this isn't
24:04part of the
24:06rotation policy
24:07It's part of
24:07the rotation
24:08policy Sean
24:09and Australian
24:10cricket is well
24:11and truly rooted
24:12Yeah
24:12What have they
24:14been sacked
24:14for exactly
24:15For not filling
24:15out a team
24:16evaluation document
24:17Oh yeah
24:17TED
24:18Wrap your flappers
24:19around this Sean
24:20This is one of
24:21the sacked
24:21players
24:21James Patterson
24:22talking about
24:23the incident
24:23There's been a
24:24few issues
24:25in a squad
24:26without naming
24:26anything
24:27that's been
24:28brought up
24:29but I think
24:30this is just
24:30like you said
24:31before the last
24:32bit of the
24:32straw that's
24:34really cracked
24:35The last bit
24:39of the straw
24:39that's really
24:40cracked
24:41And this is a
24:42guy we want
24:43to get written
24:43feedback from
24:44Well
24:44Well I can see
24:52why the coach
24:52is drawing
24:53in the sand
24:53It's the only way
24:54he can communicate
24:54with the players
24:55We're apparently
24:57so desperate
24:58to get some
24:59words of wisdom
25:00from Mr
25:00last bit
25:01of the straw
25:01that's really
25:02cracked
25:02that when he
25:03doesn't pen
25:04his highly
25:04anticipated
25:05missive
25:05we banish
25:06him to the
25:07sidelines
25:07this isn't
25:08Gabrielle
25:09Garcia Marquez
25:10missing a
25:10deadline for
25:11his next
25:11novel
25:12or Martin
25:12Amher's
25:13suffering
25:13writer's
25:13blocks
25:14These guys
25:14are athletes
25:15If they want
25:16people who
25:16can fill in
25:17forms
25:17they should
25:18take my
25:18tax accountant
25:19over there
25:19Is he any
25:21good with spin?
25:22She's Sean
25:22and she does
25:23a pretty fair
25:25job on some
25:26of my
25:26questionable
25:27deductions
25:27Thanks Maggie
25:29While not
25:30coming up
25:30because a
25:30very good
25:31show's on
25:31at 8.30
25:32Drunken Irish
25:34revellers
25:34celebrate
25:35St Patrick's
25:35Day
25:35with traditional
25:36dumping
25:36of nuclear
25:37waste
25:37And
25:38typographical
25:39error
25:40prompts
25:40residents
25:41to handbag
25:42their home
25:42against rising
25:43waters
25:43And finally
25:47to England
25:48now
25:48and who
25:48better to
25:49take us
25:49there
25:49than
25:50MAH's
25:50Royal Watcher
25:51Gay March
25:51Wow
25:58Sean
25:59Britannia
26:00is certainly
26:01ruling the
26:02waves this
26:03week
26:03with the
26:04inhabitants
26:04of the
26:05Falkland
26:05Islands
26:06voting to
26:06remain
26:07nestled
26:07in the
26:08sovereign
26:08bosom
26:09of
26:09Her
26:09Majesty
26:10And
26:12they
26:12celebrated
26:13in
26:13traditional
26:13British
26:14style
26:15Everybody
26:15come here
26:16It's good
26:23news for
26:24Her
26:24Majesty
26:24though
26:24Well
26:25she could
26:26do with
26:26some
26:26couldn't
26:27she
26:27Sean
26:27poor
26:28old
26:28cabbage
26:28as Prince
26:29Philip
26:29likes to
26:30call her
26:31She's had
26:32a bit
26:32of tummy
26:33trouble
26:33Yes
26:34well
26:34yeah
26:34gastroenteritis
26:35they say
26:36Sean
26:36I don't
26:37want to
26:37lower the
26:38tone of
26:38your
26:38program
26:39or say
26:39anything
26:39that will
26:40cause
26:40any more
26:40rumblings
26:41in the
26:41palace
26:42but
26:43but the
26:43last couple
26:44of weeks
26:44have made
26:44her majesty's
26:45anus
26:46horribilis
26:46back in
26:4792
26:47look pale
26:49by comparison
26:50but she's
26:51a tough
26:52old bird
26:5361 years
26:54on the throne
26:55what's a few
26:56more days
26:57so
26:58so how did her majesty
27:00contract the virus
27:02well
27:02Prince Charles
27:03is very keen
27:04on his
27:05macrobiotic
27:06cooking
27:07and he's
27:08always wandering
27:09out of those
27:09organic gardens
27:10and as you can
27:11see in this
27:11photo here
27:12he's not
27:13wearing any
27:14gloves
27:14and he is
27:15standing very
27:15close to that
27:16pig farmer
27:17so do you think
27:19the Prince of
27:20Wales
27:20deliberately
27:21infected his
27:21mother
27:22well
27:23look at this
27:24footage of her
27:25majesty
27:25taken not long
27:26after her
27:27illness
27:27and as you
27:29can see at this
27:29bit where she's
27:30signing the
27:31Westminster Charter
27:32for equal rights
27:33you can't help
27:34but pick up the
27:35body language
27:36gay much
27:42thank you very
27:42much
27:43thank you
27:43Sean
27:44and goodbye
27:45copy
27:57copyright 2013