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Honky Kong
  • 6/12/2025
Original Broadcast Date: February 7th 2018

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Transcript
00:00Oh, morning, Mr. McAuliffe.
00:03Hello, Tony. I didn't recognise you in your new helmet.
00:05Ah, yeah, well, a lot going on security-wise here this week, Mr. M.
00:09That's all I see. What do I sign here, do I?
00:10A retinal scan now, sir.
00:12Oh. Yeah, yeah.
00:13And Minister Dutton's issued us all with full-body armour,
00:15Colt M4 carbine semi-automatic assault rifles, flares.
00:19We've even got a water cannon out the back,
00:21if you'd like to give it a go.
00:22Ah, well...
00:24Love to, Tony, but I should be in the middle of an opening sketch by now.
00:27Yeah, well...
00:28Yeah, maybe later.
00:29Yeah, maybe later, yeah.
00:30So, is that it?
00:31Did you bring in your urine sample?
00:32Oh, yeah.
00:33Great.
00:34I'm also going to need a litre of blood in case of emergencies.
00:36Right, OK.
00:37Dental records, x-rays, passport, PIN numbers,
00:40your Ancestry.com password.
00:42Yeah.
00:43And all the metadata off your phone.
00:45Ah, yes, all right.
00:46Well, you won't look at my search history, will you?
00:48No, we already got that off the cloud, sir.
00:52Don't worry, your obsession with Gal Gadot is safe with me.
00:56Well, my daughter's doing a project.
00:58Yeah.
00:59Um...
01:00Mind if I implant this chip in your neck?
01:03Well, it is absolutely necessary.
01:05No, not at all, sir.
01:06We just like to test the limits of our authority
01:08wherever and whenever possible.
01:10Jesus!
01:11Ah, still Christian?
01:13Yeah.
01:14Right.
01:15There we go.
01:16Well, um, good luck with the show tonight, sir.
01:18I hope you give it to the opposition just as much,
01:20if not perhaps slightly more than the coalition.
01:23All right.
01:24And no jokes about the Home Affairs Department,
01:25because we know where you live.
01:28And we've had you under surveillance for the last six months.
01:32You too.
01:33You too.
01:34You too.
01:35You too.
01:36You too.
01:37You too.
01:38You too.
01:39You too.
01:52Thank you, thank you.
02:10Now, now, now, now, even though I'm only a pretend TV news presenter here at the ABC,
02:15I'd like to think that I'm every bit as convincing and believable as someone like Lee Sales or
02:20Sarah Ferguson. Or at the very least, Stan Grant. And that's why this last week, when ABC News
02:26became the big story of the week, it really got to me. Right here. Right in the tie. Secret
02:32documents, late night raids, covert deals with the PM's office. No one knew what was going
02:37on. I haven't seen so many blank, uncomprehending faces around here since the audience cutaways
02:42in last Monday's Q&A. So, thank God, is all I can say, that ASIO were on the job to sort
02:49out this whole cabinet paper business before it turned into some sort of media beat up.
02:53As you've no doubt heard, they raided the ABC at one o'clock in the morning last Thursday
02:58and secured the classified and top secret documents by locking them in safes. Then, the next night,
03:05they came back again and took them away for safekeeping. And over the weekend, we were actually able
03:11to buy one of them at a second-hand office furniture store for only $45. It was very cheap,
03:19because it was locked. So, I might use that as a bedside table. Put my knick-knacks on it.
03:25No, seriously, just in case, and I could go to prison for joking about national security,
03:29I should point out that the documents are now in safe hands. And, uh, I think we have
03:36footage of the documents now being in safe hands. Do we, uh...
03:45But what was in these so-called cabinet documents? By which I mean the documents of cabinet,
03:50not just the documents were in the cabinet. Although, of course, they were in the cabinet,
03:54which was, of course, at some point in the office of someone in the cabinet. I don't mean someone
04:00was in the cabinet. I mean that... I mean that someone who was previously in the cabinet.
04:06Anyway, the ABC has alleged that one of the cabinet documents, either way, it doesn't matter,
04:12show that twice former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd ignored warnings about installing home insulation.
04:17Now, Mr Rudd says this is not true and is suing the ABC, which is great news for those upstairs
04:23here at Aunty, who are worried about the public perception of our actual pro-Labour bias.
04:29Also, one of the other documents apparently shows that then Immigration Minister Scott Morrison
04:34agreed to delay asylum seeker visas so they would miss a deadline to gain permanent protection in
04:39Australia. Now, if Scott was able to orchestrate those delays, I reckon he's also been talking to
04:45whoever's doing the NBN rollout. Anyway, it's not all bad news in the sort of happy ending that
04:52you'd normally only find while reading the cheap romance novels they have at Forbidden Lotus Elephant
04:57Massage. The original filing cabinets in question, with the locks drilled out, have found a new home
05:03in the federal government's new My Health Record department, housing all your personal health
05:08information. Now, that's the good news, but there's also been some sad news for us here on Mad As,
05:14which I'd like to share with you, if I may, on camera too. Come over here.
05:21Now, last week, Labor lost one of their own in the dual citizenship fiasco, and now suddenly the whole
05:27thing doesn't seem so funny anymore. Yes, I'm talking about prominent backbencher David Feeney. Now,
05:37obviously, it always upsets us terribly here at the ABC when Labor suffers any sort of setback and
05:43we have to report on it. But putting politics to one side, again, typical of our bias, only putting
05:49it to one side. David was not your typical slick Canberra operator. He always had a certain befuddled
05:57incompetence about it. An endearingly bumbling, Winnie the Pooh, honeypot on his head approach to being an
06:03MP, well before that sort of vague half-arsedness became the key to success it has in the era of
06:10One Nation, where people like voting for people who are just like them, rather than for someone
06:14who actually knows what they're doing. And David was just like us. Who here among us can say they've
06:21never forgotten that they owned a $2.3 million house? Or that if they did, whether they'd negatively
06:28geared it. Who can honestly say they ever knew what a school kid's bonus was? Or that it was
06:34the key plank in their party's policy? Let he or she who can lay their hand on their heart and swear
06:40they've never misplaced documents they submitted to the British Home Office to renounce their citizenship,
06:44cast the first stone. Like all of us, David loses paperwork now and then. So what? During the 2016
06:52election he accidentally left behind confidential talking points notes prepared for him by his media
06:57adviser after this interview on Sky News with alleged David Spears. And you know something?
07:04That got me to thinking. If he left important documents in the Sky News studio before, maybe
07:09he left his citizenship renunciation ones there as well. Well the good news is I popped into Sky News
07:16this afternoon. Check down behind the desk and sure enough here are the documents that prove David
07:23Feeney renounced his British citizenship back in 2007 and which, if presented to the High Court,
07:28would allow David to stay on in Parliament and continue the type of work he's been doing for the
07:33last 10 years. Yes, he will be missed. On the plus side though, Lyle Shelton has joined the
07:53Australian Conservatives so we can always make fun of him. But the dual citizenship fiasco saga does have
08:02its serious side and it's getting ugly. So much so that the normally very nice Matthias Cormann has gone
08:08from saying this about Bill Shorten. Bill Shorten is very caring and very much in touch.
08:16To saying this. Bill Shorten tonight has been exposed as a dishonest, sanctimonious hypocrite.
08:26Spoke senator for the actual Senator Matthias Cormann, Darius Horsham, what gives already even?
08:31Sean, don't pour whiz-fizz into my artificial leg and tell me it's cocaineum. Bill Shorten knows
08:37exactly what he's not doing here. He is not searching for and finding and hunting down the
08:43dual citizens of Labour and referring them to the High Court so that they can be terminated.
08:48He is leaving it for us and we are already tired because we have already done so many of our own.
08:53Right, well, Barnaby Joyce didn't resign when he found out that he was...
08:56He stepped down from his portfolios. Yeah, well, it's a bit hard to step down from a shadow portfolio, isn't it?
09:01It's not really like you're actually doing something. And how does Susan Lamb step down
09:06from being a backbencher? Well, that's not my problem. Matthias had to renounce his Belgiumness.
09:11Lucy Gichui had to renounce her Kenyeticity. I hope to God. And I had to renounce wherever
09:18it is I come from. It's time we start being multi-ethnic girly men and women and started acting like
09:25Australia is a culture and a unified racial identity that we all is. Darius Horsham, many thanks.
09:32Fantastic. And coming up, a new Banking Royal Commission. Really? Another commission for the
09:39banks isn't the ATM withdrawal fee enough? Darius? What? Sorry, go and change. Right, go and change.
09:52Also, more on the Cabinet paper's Cabinet debacle when I asked the big question,
09:56why weren't the filing cabinets unlocked and checked before they were left out on the median street?
10:00In fact, I may as well do that now. Parliament House Master Locksmith,
10:04Keeper of the Keys and Chief Storage Maintenance Officer since 1973, Wolbenhecht.
10:10Nothing to do with me, mate. Well, you had the key to the filing cabinets in question.
10:15Yes, I did. On my belt, safe and secure as always. I only took it off half an hour ago to come here
10:19and show you and assure you I had nothing to do with this cock-up. And where is the key now?
10:25In the dressing room. The girl come and told me I was on, so I left it there on the cistern of the
10:29toilet for safekeeping. Is the dressing room locked? It is. And that key I have affixed to my belt.
10:41Which is also in the dressing room, on the arm of the couch next to my wallet and EpiPen.
10:47I'm allergic to brass, silver and nickel, Sean.
10:49All the materials that keys are made from.
10:55That is correct. And that is why I always, without fail, wear my special ceremonial gloves.
11:03And where are they now?
11:06They're in the dressing room too.
11:08Next to my medical alert bracelet, glasses, phone and heart tablets.
11:11Why didn't anyone call upon you to open the filing cabinets to check what was inside before they
11:16were taken from the building? They did. I have voicemail messages from Penny Wong,
11:20Scott Morrison, Kevin Rudd and 112 other MPs and their staff asking me to attend to that very task
11:27immediately, along with almost double that number and increasingly frantic follow-up calls.
11:32And why didn't you respond? It was me RDO.
11:35Thank you very much.
11:38Oh, it's been a pleasure, Sean.
11:51Sorry to bother you. I think we left our trolley here when we were in last week.
11:57There it is. Can you get that for me, Constable?
12:00The Prime Minister's Office and Cabinet appreciate your cooperation.
12:03Come on.
12:05HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUTH!
12:13Well, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.
12:15But who is under pants model, Simone Holtsnagel, Mad as Hell TV watcher, Clatti Finnegan?
12:21I don't know. Never heard of her.
12:23Really?
12:25Well, thank you very much indeed, Clatti.
12:35Just one more thing, you haven't been inconvenienced at all by these raids, have you?
12:39No, no, no, no, no, no, that's been our pleasure.
12:42Be sure to mention your spineless acquiescence at the next Senate Estimates hearing.
12:45Well, thank you.
12:48And thank you, Plattie.
12:50Sorry, is that it?
12:51Yeah, that's... we're done.
12:52Oh.
12:53Shall I go and change into the next...
12:55Yes, that's a good idea, go and change into the next meeting.
13:03Now, considering... Me too.
13:05Oh, what?
13:06Do I go too?
13:07Yes, go and change!
13:09Considering that Peter Dutton is...
13:11Oh.
13:14Considering that...
13:22Considering that Peter Dutton is the Minister for Home Affairs, Immigration and Border Protection,
13:26it's hard to believe that he could ever talk outside his portfolio.
13:29But last week, he thought he'd have a crack at rethinking the centuries-long definition of the judiciary,
13:33suggesting out a lot where people could actually hear that the public should help select judges and magistrates in state courts.
13:40Otto Glug, you claim to be a member of the public.
13:43Would you...
13:44Would you like to help select judges and magistrates?
13:46Oh, yes, please.
13:47All right.
13:48Can you...
13:49Can you tell us a bit about your politics, then?
13:52Who have you voted for in the past?
13:53Oh, Ricky Muir, Pauline Hanson, Jackie Lambie, Clive Palmer, David Lionhelm, Malcolm Roberts and Mark Latham.
14:01And, er...
14:02And what sort of person would you like to see presiding over a court?
14:06Deciding, for example, whether someone should go to jail for the rest of their life?
14:09Er...
14:10Ricky Muir, Pauline Hanson, Jackie Lambie...
14:12Oh, thank you, Otto.
14:13Now, I'm not saying...
14:15I'm not saying it won't work at a state level, but I am worried about New South Wales,
14:18where the minister in charge would just ignore the People's Will
14:21and elect an official called Judgey McJudgeface.
14:25And coming up after the break, insurance companies caught selling junk policies,
14:30what they intend to do about it.
14:32Yes, yes, but...
14:34Sean, Sean, customers can rest assured they'll receive a full refund on policies
14:38they're unhappy with, and for those who fear getting stung again,
14:41they can also opt into our new junk insurance protection policy,
14:45which offers peace of mind plus protection from unnecessary add-ons.
14:49For just an extra $50.
14:54Still to come, later in the week.
14:57The law of gravity has chained mankind to the earth since the very dawn of time.
15:03Former ad man Flournoy Quimby challenges history's oldest natural phenomenon to a duel.
15:09Tomorrow daddy's gonna leap off a building.
15:12A duel to the death.
15:14By the time you hit the ground, you're travelling quite fast.
15:16Zoom.
15:17Wow.
15:18To discover he will survive.
15:21The ultimate battle between man and one of the most elemental forces of the universe.
15:29Repeats of Flournoy Quimby defies gravity.
15:32New to ABC science.
15:34Well, Bill Shorten has copped an unexpected hit with the US Federal Election Commission fining the Labor Party $14,500 for paying the travel expenses of several of their members who went over to the US as campaign volunteers for Bernie Sanders.
15:51Wow.
15:52First the Russians meddling in the US election and now us.
15:56I really don't know what's worse.
15:57The Reds hacking Republican and Democratic servers, leaking stolen Democratic documents and damaging emails, paying trolls to spread fake news, spending thousands on online ads directly attacking voting systems, including directly with Trump's advisers.
16:13Or us attempting to vandalise Trump's election signs while saying, fuck you, Donald.
16:18Like Russia, we tried to change the world for the better in an age-old David and Goliath battle, I suppose, except that our David was completely ineffective and ended up costing the Labor Party money.
16:31Money that could have been much better spent on getting Bill a suit that actually fits him, or a new joke almanac.
16:40I'm kidding, I'm kidding, listen, I'm kidding.
16:43Not about the suit, obviously, he does need that desperately.
16:46I mean the jokes.
16:47The last thing Bill Shorten needs is professional comedy material, particularly when he can come up with a withering put-down like this right off the top of his head.
16:57Just how up himself is he, Turnbull?
16:59He seems to think that the only person who's allowed to be Prime Minister is a person called Malcolm Turnbull.
17:12Oh no, he didn't!
17:16And very relatable language too, not any of your highfalutin adult words or sentence structure.
17:22Time now though, in the spirit of the new TPP, for a bit of this.
17:26News from countries that aren't Australia.
17:28Brought to you by Australian Armaments.
17:32Mmm, that's nice.
17:34Well, this year marks the 65th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II's coronation and the ABC rightly celebrated it on Sunday in a wonderful documentary.
17:43How many people watched it? Everybody, that's great.
17:45And it revealed for the first time the personal torture of being Queen.
17:51Now firstly, of course, there's this bloody thing covered in dozens of precious stones.
17:56It's almost impossible to insure and leaves one with terrible hat hair when one takes it off.
18:00You can't look down to read the speech, you have to take the speech up.
18:05Because if you did, your neck would break.
18:08For God's sake, she has to lift her speech up!
18:12Can we not find something less valuable for this poor woman to wear?
18:16Something less laden with jewels?
18:19And yet, through it all, she ploughs on with her trademark sense of humour.
18:23It's difficult to always remember that diamonds are stones, so they're very heavy.
18:29Yes!
18:31I mean...
18:35Such resilience and the pluck and the determination needed to go through that sort of hell.
18:41And then, just when anyone else's spirit would be broken, there comes the added trauma of having to travel in a four-ton gold coat.
18:48It's only sprung on leather. It's not very comfortable.
18:53You Republicans sicken me.
18:56That woman is a saint!
18:59Elsewhere now, and an Australian woman arrested in Cambodia over alleged drug smuggling due to appear in court this week has had her hearing suspended for a month.
19:08She will, however, be allowed to see.
19:13Still up north, and the Prime Minister of Thailand has had 17 life-size cardboard replicas of himself made,
19:20which he tells the media to put their questions to whenever the uncomfortable topics of politics and conflict arise.
19:25Of course, being made of cardboard means that the ties can now literally recycle their Prime Minister, just as Australia did in 2013.
19:35Staff from Prime Minister Turnbull's office said that while Mr Turnbull had some interest in trying this idea, they didn't think he was cut out for it.
19:42Now, I know we've already had one of Bill's zingers this evening, but they're so moorish, aren't they?
19:51Who would like another?
19:52Who would like another?
19:55All right, all right.
19:57OK, now, a bit of background on this one.
19:59It's taken from Bill's act at the National Press Club last week.
20:03If you've never seen a National Press Club address, it's a bit like a Dean Martin celebrity roast.
20:07Except that Chris Ullman is hosting instead of Dean, and instead of a whole bunch of people getting up and saying mean things about the guest of honour, they just sit in the audience and think it.
20:18Here are just some of the members from Bill's audience enjoying themselves as much as they could in the circumstances.
20:26Fantastic. So, you know, I'm sure you all wish you were there.
20:28Anyway, I won't say any more because I don't want to spoil Bill's joke. I'll let Bill do that himself. Check it out.
20:41There used to be two certainties in life, death and taxes. Now it's three. Death, taxes and big increases in health insurance premiums.
20:48Brilliant. I mean, he takes the old Benjamin Franklin gag about death and taxes and puts his own spin on it.
21:00Death, taxes. Can you imagine taxing the death?
21:07Mind you, make the NDIS cheaper.
21:11Meanwhile, the local economy has pulled off a rare double, with both job numbers and unemployment up.
21:20403,000 jobs were created in the year to December, prompting non-acting Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull to say,
21:26Jobs and growth, the slogan in 2016, was a big outcome this year.
21:32403,000, by the way, works out to about one job for every time the slogan was mentioned by the Coalition during the election.
21:37Employment Minister Michaelia Cash, seen here frozen in carbonite until our AFP investigation blows over, said that while the unemployment rate had risen to 5.5% in December, this was because the participation rate itself also increased.
21:54Yeah, the participation rate in unemployment.
21:57Michaelia went on, you know, like she does, to say that the Australians are out there actively searching for jobs because they have faith in the economy.
22:05Naughty McBride, you are one who has a very, very deep faith in the economy, aren't you?
22:13I surely do, Sean. I found the economy many years ago when I first started working, and since that day I have willingly placed my life in the economy's hands.
22:25Now there are, of course, those who say the economy doesn't exist.
22:30And I feel sorry for them, Sean, that they cannot see the bounteous gifts that the economy surely has bestowed on them.
22:38And how exactly do you show your economic faith?
22:40I go to the ASX once a week and I try to live my life by following the economy's example. That is, by being unpredictable, little understood and every few years destroying people's lives.
22:54Well...
23:02Well, thank you, Naughty.
23:03And also with you.
23:06Well, for those of you who need a reason to believe things are looking up, though, the signs are all around us.
23:11For example, while wages growth may have utterly stagnated in the last financial year, at least Centrelink telephone wait times have ballooned, with some people waiting more than an hour for help.
23:22Apparently, the average wait time increased to more than 15 minutes, but we're still within the target of 16 minutes, according to Centrelink spokesman Hank Yongen.
23:31Hank Yongen. His name even sounds like a request to wait. Hank Yongen a moment.
23:35Hank Yongen a moment.
23:38But why is the target 16 minutes? Why isn't it, say, 16 seconds, other Centrelink spokesman Big Steel?
23:47LAUGHTER
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54Oh, I see, I see. Elvira Binewider, you've been on hold to Centrelink for how long?
24:21Oh, um, sorry, sure, um, just a bit over five months.
24:26All right. And what's the nature of your inquiry?
24:30Oh, um, a single parent payment plan. I had a little girl about three months ago.
24:34While you're on hold?
24:35Yeah, that's right.
24:37And so, so how have you found the experience?
24:39Oh, well, the interesting, oh, hang on.
24:42Yep.
24:43Oh, no, still music.
24:45Look, the interesting thing is that because I've been listening to on hold music for so long,
24:48I, um, can now proficiently play the violin, having never played it before in my life.
24:55Would you like to hear a little bit?
24:56No, no, no, I'm good.
24:58Um, yeah, and in fact a group of us welfare recipients, um, have got together and we're doing a concert on the weekend,
25:03um, as part of the Centrelink on hold orchestra.
25:06Yeah, okay.
25:07Um, yeah, that's a picture of us there.
25:08Um, and we'll be playing a medley of on hold classics from all government department agencies.
25:15Mm-hmm. Right. Well, that sounds fantastic.
25:17Yeah, over and over again.
25:19Yeah. Elvira Binewinder, many thanks.
25:22Oh, thanks.
25:24Still to come later in the week.
25:27With Australia Post's new Legends series, we celebrate some of Australia's greatest stars of television,
25:32as yet untarnished by scandal.
25:35This one-off collectible series honours individuals who've made a positive impact on Australian society.
25:41As far as we know, own a piece of, at present, unsullied history with Australia Post's bravest stamp set yet.
25:48Considering the current climate.
25:49We'll spare a thought for the High Court this year, as, yet again, Federal Parliament sends them some actual work to do.
25:57Sitting as the Court of Disputed returns, they will have to put aside their usual activities, like aquarobics, sing-alongs and learning to Skype the grandchildren,
26:07to decide which of those unsuccessful in the last election will replace those who shouldn't have been running in the first place.
26:12In fact, if all seven High Court justices agree on a proposed Senate candidate, then that will likely be more votes than they got in the actual election.
26:21Draniac Wilson has more.
26:24I think the public are sick to death of all this dual citizenship fiasco and just want to move on from all the finger-pointing,
26:30which in fairness is mainly coming from Labor, and let us get on with the job of running the country instead of having to refer ourselves,
26:36particularly Labor, to the High Court every time we get caught out having been illegitimately elected.
26:40That's why we called for this audit, which Labor resisted, in order to stop this thing becoming a political football.
26:47It's the Government's view that we're elected to govern, not subcontract out things that we could do ourselves to third parties.
26:53I mean, let's face it, if we hadn't had to bugger around with Barnaby Joyce's by-election late last year,
26:57we could have had same-sex marriage almost a week earlier.
27:00Or a year earlier, if you hadn't subcontracted out the decision to us for a postal vote.
27:05You from the ABC?
27:06I am.
27:07This interview's over.
27:08Labor can't be held responsible for the fact that Barnaby Joyce, Steve Parry, John Alexander,
27:14Fiona Nash and maybe Jason Filinski, Josh Frydenberg, Nola Marina, Julia Barnes, Alex Hawke,
27:22Michael McCormack and Arthur Sinodinas didn't have their paperwork in order.
27:25That is entirely down to the Coalition's incompetence, lack of competence and being incompetent.
27:30What about Josh Wilson, Justine Key, Susan Lamb, Katie Gallagher and David Feeney?
27:35That's entirely different. Firstly, they're Labor and secondly, though proud of their rich heritage, they did everything they could to renounce it before the last election.
27:42Even David Feeney?
27:43Except for David Feeney, obviously. He clearly didn't address the issue when he should and there were never any documents in the first place. Sam, Sam, not now. Take it outside, love.
27:55Have One Nation's vetting procedures improved as a result of all this?
28:00Well, apart from having to give Rod Cullerton that distemper shot that time, I don't think we've ever had a need to call one.
28:05No, no, a vetting procedure.
28:08Oh, I see. Well, our previous method of recruiting our candidates was to simply accept anybody willing to pay my grossly inflated printing company fees.
28:16But now we determine not only their nationality, criminal record and level of psychosis, but also whether, in fact, they're human.
28:25Now, there's nothing in the Constitution that prevents an alien creature or some sort of sentient plant from running.
28:31Again, good news for Malcolm Roberts, obviously.
28:33But I think it would be hypocritical of One Nation to be calling for a ban on Muslim immigration on the one hand,
28:37while permitting creatures from outer space or Triffids to be representing decent Christian God-fearing mum and dad One Nation supporters willy-nilly from the Canberra crossbenchers on the other.
28:49As Pauline tries to make clear in her garbled Facebook videos,
28:52it's not about the colour of your skin or who you worship or where you come from or what you wear that makes you a pariah in our society,
29:00although that doesn't help.
29:01It's that you don't think like we do.
29:05And also that Tony Jones earns more than $200,000 a year.
29:10Well, not coming out because something called Squinters is on in a minute.
29:14Snow on the Sahara Desert proves global warming not real, claim idiots.
29:19Barnaby Joyce's Elvis impersonation as good as anyone else's.
29:24And prospect of robots achieving self-awareness set back a thousand years by the unveiling of this one.
29:32And finally, an asteroid the size of a house is set to miss Earth.
29:36Another lost opportunity for first home buyers there.
29:39I mean, it's a bit far out of the city, but still.
29:43Goodbye.
29:45Dark baby.
29:54Because we're understaffed?
29:55…