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Honky Kong
  • 6/7/2025
Original Broadcast Date: February 12th 2014

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TV
Transcript
00:00Oh, hi. Just resetting the doomsday election clock to...
00:08P plus five months.
00:10Yes. A lot has happened in the years since we were last on.
00:13We have a new government. I don't know if you read about that.
00:16It's what they call a coalition government.
00:18But let me assure you that it's business as usual here on Mad As.
00:21It's not going to make any difference at all to the content of the show.
00:24Incidentally, this giant golden statue of Tony Abbott was on order...
00:29..during the first series. It's got nothing to do with the election result.
00:33Having said that, though, we do support the Abbott Trust government's efficiency drive.
00:37I mean, it's a breath of fresh air, really, considering the years of labour mismanagement we've had to endure.
00:43Ours is one programme on the ABC, though, that's doing its best to give you your bang for your buck.
00:47For example, the ACCC recently recommended the privatisation of Australia Post and Medibank Private.
00:52Well, there's no need. During tonight's show, our cast, when they're not on, will be sorting mail.
00:57And our audience, too, in between jokes, will be processing your medical rebates.
01:02Hand out those claim forms, will you? Thanks, Tosh.
01:05Oh, yeah, and this unused bit of the studio over here will be used to store the asbestos that Telstra have found in their NBN pits.
01:13So, anyway, we hope that makes you, the ABC viewer, a little happier about just how your taxpayer dollar is being wasted.
01:21Personally, though, I'm as mad as hell.
01:25I can see you immediately.
01:26Iنا so often bit like, you start here with numbers.
01:28I'm the 쉬?!"
01:30Thank you...
01:31I can see you immediately.
01:32Hear these sounds!
01:34She's the leading one!
01:35That's a piece of art that I need.
01:37He reads.
01:38I know!
01:40I send a piece of art, and I'm already negative anywhere.
01:41And I can see you.
01:42They've noticed a piece of art withgraff Fermi.
01:43I don't know it.
01:44It's lovely.
01:45I like this one.
01:46But truly, definitely be very unique.
01:47I think it's a to вид as little...
01:49Je One technology wraps it up...
01:50is a great team meal!
01:51Thank you very much, and a big maddest hello to you all.
02:02Now, normally, this show is a sort of wrap-up of what's been happening over the previous week.
02:07But because it's been 12 months since we've been on, and I, I assume, like me,
02:11you haven't read the papers or watched the news because you've been on holiday,
02:14a lot of what's going on at the moment will come as quite a shock and not make any sense,
02:18which stands to reason being isolated from the rural world for so long.
02:21It's a bit like Big Brother in that I haven't watched that either.
02:25So what we thought we'd do tonight was present a special catch-up version of the show
02:29dealing with the last few months.
02:31That way we can analyse the background to these stories and provide some context
02:34so you can follow what we're actually talking about,
02:36something we've never bothered with in the past.
02:39Unfortunately, that sort of preparation takes time,
02:41time we simply didn't have when we came together to put the show together this morning.
02:44So, leaving aside the big world news like Justin Bieber appearing at The Hague
02:50or China invading the moon, my actor award win
02:55and Anne Chappelle finally being allowed to get back to her barley holiday,
03:00the big story in this country at the moment is asylum seekers.
03:07The Australian Navy, in between hazing rituals, have been turning back asylum seekers.
03:11And Immigration Minister Scott Morrison initially had this to say,
03:15as quoted by ABC News 24's amusingly named Kieran Binney.
03:19The Australian Immigration Minister won't confirm or deny the incident.
03:23The government doesn't comment on activities of Operation Sovereign Borders,
03:27Scott Morrison said in a statement.
03:29But what are operational security reasons?
03:32Vice Rear Admiral Bobo Gargle is aboard the HMAS Popeye somewhere in the Indian Ocean.
03:37Are you there, Bobo?
03:38Sean, I can't answer that for reasons of operational security.
03:42So you can't confirm that you are speaking with me now?
03:45I can't confirm or deny it.
03:47If you're not, in fact, speaking with me,
03:49what other explanation is there for the words being spoken by you to me?
03:53Look, Sean, I'm not going to speculate on matters of operational security
03:57and jeopardise the security of our borders.
04:00Vice Rear Admiral, thank you for your time, if in fact you did give it to us.
04:04It may or may not have been my pleasure, Sean.
04:06Green Senator, not in terms of experience, but political stripe Sarah Hansen-Young,
04:11felt this was what the government meant when it used the expression.
04:14It seems that all you need to do these days is put the word operational in a sentence,
04:19and that means the public don't have a right to know.
04:22But was Ms Hansen-Young right?
04:24Was Scott Morrison hiding behind the word operation?
04:27In this correspondent's uneditorial opinion, no.
04:30Here's footage of Mr Morrison clearly standing in front of the word,
04:35appearing, as it does, on the advertising hoarding,
04:37listing various government sponsors and products.
04:40But what is Operation Sovereign Borders,
04:42Department of Immigration spokesperson Rosemary Kiffler's?
04:45I'm afraid I can't divulge any information about that either,
04:49for operational security reasons.
04:50All right. And that's all you're prepared to say?
04:52Not even that.
04:54But at least there's one man or woman prepared not to hide behind or in front of the word operation.
04:59The General in charge of Operation Sovereign Borders,
05:02Angus Campbell, hides behind a completely different expression.
05:05I will not comment further in relation to on-border matters.
05:10General, this is a great public interest.
05:12I will not comment further in relation to on-border matters.
05:14Have they been...
05:16I will not comment further in relation to on-border matters.
05:18I think we've dealt with that question.
05:21But what are on-water matters?
05:22And what's the point of making yourself available for a press conference
05:25if you don't answer any questions?
05:27Vice-free Admiral Bobo Gargle.
05:29Oh, Sean, I'm on the water at the moment, so I'm not at liberty to say.
05:33But what you do say at a press conference about why you're not saying anything
05:36is often just as important as the words used by other people
05:38to describe what you're not commenting on.
05:40For example, the recent straying of Australian warships
05:44into Indonesian waters is either inadvertent, if you read the Bordio Post,
05:48or stupid, if you read the far less reputable Sydney Morning Herald.
05:53Vice-free Admiral Bobo Gargle joins us again, this time in the studio.
05:56Oh, God.
05:58Good evening, Sean.
06:00Bobo, aren't you supposed to be here now?
06:01What are you doing in the 7.30 studios in Brisbane?
06:04Yes, sorry about that, Sean.
06:06Positional error.
06:07We're looking into it.
06:09Vice-free Admiral, how does an Australian naval vessel,
06:13let's say inadvertently, enter another country's waters several times?
06:16Well, Sean, water is what we in the Navy call wobbly.
06:20It can move you about a bit if you're not careful.
06:24But the Australian Navy has GPS, surely?
06:27Look, Sean, the sea is an unpredictable thing.
06:29Look at the SS Minnow, started off on a three-hour tour,
06:33ended up inadvertently at Gilligan's Island.
06:36Be a good place for an offshore processing centre, wouldn't it, Gilligan's Island?
06:40Well...
06:40Not that funny and stuck there forever?
06:44Look, Sean, I guess you should give us the benefit of the doubt.
06:46All right, point taken, Bobo.
06:48Because you are the real victims in all this, aren't you?
06:50At least according to Bill Shorten.
06:52I don't want to see Australian servicemen and servicewomen
06:54caught up as in the meat in an Abbott Morrison secrecy sandwich.
06:59Is that an accurate description of the Navy's role in all this, or sandwich?
07:07No-one in our ranks...
07:08No-one in our ranks is in a sandwich with anyone.
07:13Well, if not the meat, then the cheese or some other condiment.
07:17Look, Sean, I'm not here to comment on operational matters,
07:20but if there were a secrecy sandwich,
07:22how could Bill Shorten possibly know the ingredients?
07:26Right, so it's like Colonel Sanders' 11 secret herbs and spices.
07:30Well, I'm not here to comment on the recipes of other Defence Force personnel either.
07:34All right, on to the...
07:35Sean, if I could just say one thing before I go?
07:38Yes, certainly, Bobo, yes.
07:39The Navy is still waiting for that apology from the ABC.
07:42Oh, I see.
07:44All right, well, um...
07:46If we were to apologise to the Navy,
07:51would the Navy release some information about on-water activities?
07:55No, but I will release...
07:57The Crackers!
08:07Did I miss Spicks and Specs?
08:12No, no, that's on at 8.30.
08:16Oh.
08:23Mind you, it could happen to anybody, couldn't it?
08:25You're out in international waters,
08:26innocently towing an illegal maritime arrival
08:28back into Indonesian waters,
08:30and you accidentally stray into Indonesian waters.
08:33Now, our government's apologised,
08:35our Navy's apologised,
08:37but for some reason, the Indonesians get upset
08:39when suspected illegal entry vessels breached their sovereign borders.
08:42And so they, according to The Age,
08:44drew a line in the sand saying it would step up its own maritime patrols
08:48in a move that could heighten the risk of confrontation.
08:51Pretty serious stuff.
08:52Although, if you're drawing a line in the sand about where boats are,
08:55surely they're already a little too close to your coastline.
08:58Now, I don't know if Indonesia has a stop the boats policy,
09:02but if they do, presumably,
09:03it will involve turning our vessels around and towing them,
09:06and the vessels that they're towing, back to Christmas Island.
09:09Although, if they stray into our waters,
09:10then we'll start towing them back,
09:12and then it'll become a tug of war over the border zone.
09:16More and more frigates joining either side
09:18to pull each other back to either side of Ashmore Reef,
09:21until eventually the people smugglers
09:22can just lead their customers to Australia
09:25via a sort of ship bridge or pontoon.
09:32But what is certain is that our Minister for Immigration
09:34is taking all this very seriously.
09:36Inadvertedly entered Indonesian territorial waters
09:40on several occasions in breach of Australian government policy.
09:44All right, so not in breach of Indonesia's sovereignty
09:47or in breach of international maritime law,
09:49but rather in breach of Australian government policy.
09:52And that's why the Indonesians are so upset about these incidents.
09:55It's empathy.
09:55They can see how distressed we are
09:58that we breached our own policy.
10:00But hats off to this government
10:02for having a policy not to break the law.
10:06If only asylum seekers were as principal,
10:08that's why we shouldn't trust them
10:10over these so-called claims that the Navy injured them.
10:12Who do you believe?
10:14Do you believe Australian naval personnel?
10:17Or do you believe people
10:20who are attempting to break Australian law?
10:23Exactly.
10:24Who do you believe?
10:25People attempting to break Australian law
10:26or people who've already broken international law?
10:28But the Indonesians are taking it seriously as well.
10:35Certainly are.
10:36With the Jakarta Post reporting
10:37that they've been organising their maritime assets,
10:40including frigates, torpedo craft, missiles,
10:42luxury sports cars and aircraft against Australia.
10:46Is Indonesia on a war footing with Australia?
10:49It's a question that was put mercifully to rest
10:51by the Indonesian foreign minister
10:53when he was asked it by someone
10:54walking down the street the other day.
10:56Is Indonesia on a war footing with Australia at the moment
10:59after moving radar and warships?
11:01No, not really.
11:05So, so, no, not really.
11:08Not ruling it out entirely.
11:10Maybe, maybe a bit, you know,
11:11just a few gunships and a couple of missiles perhaps
11:14and maybe, maybe we'd get a bit attacky
11:16if you did it again, but we'll see.
11:18But what about Australia?
11:19Are we on a war footing or not really?
11:22Here's the prime minister on rival news parody Wake Up
11:25defending the secrecy around Operation Sovereign Borders.
11:29If we were at war,
11:31we wouldn't be giving out information
11:33that is of use to the enemy.
11:35And what about this apparently unnamed customs official
11:38explaining the government's increased spending
11:40on mail and cargo screening?
11:42We're in a war.
11:42We're in a war against drug syndicates.
11:45In a war, you need weapons, you need bullets.
11:46And I welcome the government's announcement today.
11:49Well, fair enough when you're being invaded by asylum seekers
11:51or not really on the brink of a sea battle with Indonesia.
11:53But should war rhetoric be used
11:56in otherwise civilian settings, like the Postal Service?
11:58Retired Field Marshal Wesley Pock,
12:00president of the Predictable Responses League.
12:03Well, it's offensive, don't you think?
12:06I mean, are these people at risk of being shot through the head
12:08when they're sorting air freight?
12:10Are they being waterboarded
12:12and tortured by rival courier companies?
12:15Mr Pock, thank you for your time and your questions.
12:17Is that it?
12:18Yeah, I think we get the idea.
12:20Still to come.
12:22Putin a hypocrite.
12:23Russian leader seen fondling a tight leopard skin-wearing dog.
12:29Daft punk member revealed to be president of France.
12:33And new Australian citizenship pledge
12:36neatly encapsulates our values.
12:38OK, OK, OK!
12:48It's bye-bye election,
12:50and goodnight, Nurse,
12:52as Australia's favourite two-time ex-prime minister
12:55suddenly finds himself in a right royal commission.
12:59Mr Rudd, did you order the code red?
13:01You don't have to answer that question.
13:03No, I'll answer the question.
13:04You want answers?
13:05I think I'm entitled to.
13:06You want answers?
13:07I want the truth.
13:09You can't handle the truth.
13:11Order! Order!
13:13It's vicarious liability for two,
13:16as former Environment Minister Peter Garrett
13:18joins Kevin Rudd to give evidence
13:20a good run for their money.
13:22The $25 million royal commission
13:24into the homeowner insulation program...
13:26I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
13:29Coming soon to APEC.
13:32Australian drama just how you like it.
13:40Based on things that you're already familiar with.
13:43What's this supposed to be, a joke?
13:44Because I'm not laughing.
13:46But I...
13:47A Queen Anne war brode.
13:48$120.
13:50Sorry, Charlie, I meant wardrobe.
13:51The story of one man's dream.
13:54When I started the Trading Post back in the 1960s,
13:56having ended my naval career,
13:58I wanted to help Aussies buy second-hand goods,
14:00not provide them with second-rate copy!
14:02And a woman's pain.
14:04But it's just me proofing all 36 pages!
14:07Featuring a who's that of Australian talent.
14:10Pack up your desk, Maureen.
14:11You're through.
14:12And plenty of swearing.
14:15Charlie!
14:16I'm your f***ing wife!
14:19With Vince Colosimo as Kerry Packer.
14:22Hey, those bastards are tells us
14:23we're going to be buying a Trading Post.
14:26636 mil!
14:30Yeah, that's going to piss off Fairfax, isn't it?
14:32Paper Giants, The Trading Post.
14:35F***!
14:35Coming soon to ABC2.
14:43Well, with an efficiency review
14:46of the ABC and SBS in the wind,
14:48it's good to know that it's really SBS
14:50that the government actually has its sights set on.
14:53This despite the seeming support
14:55of Communications Minister, Mr Broadband.
14:58I've always been very impressed for many years,
15:01for over 25 years,
15:03about the lean and hungry approach of SBS.
15:08It's never had a big budget,
15:09so I guess it's always been pretty lean.
15:12You see, it sounds to SBS
15:15like Mr Turnbull is saying he's impressed with them,
15:18but English is not SBS's first language,
15:20so they don't know they're Shakespeare,
15:22like us wannabe poems over here at the ABC.
15:25When we hear lean and hungry,
15:26we instantly think of Act 1, Scene 2 of Julius Caesar,
15:29don't we?
15:31Idiots.
15:32Anyway, this is what Julius Caesar has to say
15:35about what it means to be lean and hungry.
15:37Let me have men about me that are fat,
15:40sleek-headed men,
15:42and such as sleeper knights.
15:43Jan Cassius has a lean and hungry look.
15:46He thinks too much such men are dangerous.
15:50So, Malcolm, speaking for Caesar,
15:52Mr Abbott,
15:54suspects...
15:54suspects lean and hungry SBS
15:57of wanting to do away with him,
15:59and so would prefer men around him
16:01who are fat.
16:03And that's good news for the people of Fairfax.
16:08But SBS is a sister public broadcaster
16:11and a quality organisation.
16:13Hats off to their news division
16:14for discovering a volunteer activist group
16:16I personally had never heard of.
16:19Reporters Without Borders
16:20is obviously a group of journalists
16:23in need who have been unable to find lodgers
16:26to help pay the rent.
16:27Very worthy cause.
16:28As is Gardens Without Borders.
16:31They can get so untidy, can't they?
16:33And if you have any other complaints
16:35about SBS's inefficiency,
16:36please contact the National Commission of Audit
16:38on the email address below.
16:40It'll hopefully distract them
16:43from what the ABC are doing.
16:44And anyone who doesn't think
16:47the ABC is already making efficiency gains,
16:49here's proof.
16:50In the form of an ABC radio interview
16:52with Bill Shorten,
16:53where they didn't even hire an interviewer.
16:54They just told him to do it himself.
16:57Do I believe that most Australians
16:58going to work are overpaid?
17:01No, I don't.
17:03Do I think that if you're on
17:04$50,000, $60,000, $70,000 and $80,000 a year,
17:07that the cost of living's your biggest issue?
17:10Yes, I do.
17:11And do I think that job security's
17:13a big issue for 2014?
17:15Yes, I do.
17:16And do I think the Abbott government
17:17has the faintest clue
17:18what to do with manufacturing?
17:20No, I don't.
17:22Yeah, yeah.
17:22Went a bit easy on himself
17:23at the end there.
17:25Typical ABC bias.
17:29You know, thank you.
17:30Another thing that makes me mad as hell
17:32is when people don't get on.
17:34There's been some frish on
17:35between Bill Shorten and Tony Abbott
17:36in the lead-up to the resumption
17:37of Parliament yesterday,
17:38with Mr Shorten saying
17:40Abbott won't fight
17:42for manufacturing jobs.
17:44Supporting SBC
17:45and encouraging co-investment
17:46is a no-brainer,
17:47but these guys are so ideological.
17:50True.
17:51Why can't the government
17:51be more like Labour
17:52and not have any ideology?
17:55Or if they do,
17:56one that they're prepared
17:57to abandon
17:57if it's politically expedient.
17:59Tony Abbott, of course,
18:00wasn't about to stand there
18:02and be accused
18:02of having principles.
18:03The former Rhodes Scholar
18:04put his Oxford education
18:06in politics and philosophy
18:07to good use
18:08when he described
18:08Mr Shorten as cocky.
18:11It was the knock-out punch
18:13delivered in response
18:14to an earlier
18:14below-the-belt comment
18:15from Bill Shorten
18:16that Mr Abbott
18:18was possibly
18:18a one-term Prime Minister.
18:20It was a tough match
18:21and Mr Abbott
18:22could have countered Shorten
18:23by saying a one-term
18:24Prime Minister
18:24was better than Labour's
18:26habit of a two-prime minister term,
18:27but he's too much
18:28of a gentleman for that.
18:30But good on
18:30AWU National Secretary
18:32Paul Howes
18:33for stepping in
18:33as peacemaker
18:35and supporting the Coalition
18:36on the question
18:37of penalty rates.
18:38Labour should take a leaf
18:39from whatever it is
18:40he's smoking.
18:42He knows workers
18:43will only have to play ball
18:44for two or three terms
18:45and it'll be like
18:46Solomon Northup
18:47in 12 Years a Slave,
18:48an early example
18:49of enterprise bargaining
18:50in which there were
18:51no penalty rates
18:52but at least you got
18:53Sundays off.
18:56Still to come in sport,
18:59Russian gaydar
19:00to pick up
19:01slightest hint of flamboyance.
19:03Hollywood star
19:05Zach Galifianakis
19:06attends the premiere
19:07of the Lego movie
19:08and Sochi's luge circuit
19:11leaves a lot
19:12to be desired.
19:15But right now,
19:16sport.
19:19Maggie Bathysphere
19:21and her team
19:21are hunkered down
19:22in their still-unfinished
19:23Fist Stadium commentary box.
19:25Max, security's still
19:26a big issue there
19:26in Sochi.
19:27It can't give too much info
19:30about anything at the moment,
19:31Sean.
19:32TV reception's out
19:33and internet access
19:34is 50 bucks an hour.
19:36So, all we've got
19:38from the games right now
19:39is this still photo
19:40we bought on the black market
19:41of our Aussie athletes
19:42in the opening ceremony.
19:44But the big controversy
19:45in the world of sport
19:46this week, Sean,
19:47is the suggestion
19:47that Pakistani refugee
19:49Farwood Ahmed
19:50was given a permanent visa
19:52simply because
19:53he's a talented cricketer.
19:54Check this out.
19:54Yeah.
19:55He claimed asylum
19:56because he said
19:56that he'd been threatened
19:57by the Taliban.
19:58His application
19:59was rejected
20:00by the Immigration Department
20:01and the Refugee Review Tribunal.
20:03It looked as though
20:04he was going to be deported.
20:05And then
20:05all his supporters
20:07came to the rescue.
20:08The Minister intervened.
20:09He got permanent residency.
20:11Not only that,
20:11about six months later
20:12both major parties
20:13worked together
20:14to change the Citizenship Act
20:15to fast-track his passport.
20:17He was going to be eligible
20:18to play in the Ashes.
20:19I mean, I'm happy for Farwood,
20:20especially given
20:21he was targeted
20:22by the Taliban.
20:23Although I guess
20:23a leg spinner's going to be
20:24targeted by most sides
20:25so they don't settle into
20:26a good line and length.
20:28But my concerns relate
20:29to the asylum seekers
20:30we're turning back.
20:31I mean, who knows
20:32what talent
20:32we're overlooking there.
20:33I mean, Crooked Australia
20:34should be up there
20:35as part of the Joint Task Force
20:37boarding these vessels
20:38and keeping an eye out
20:39for an asylum seeker
20:40who can reverse swing it
20:41or bowl a doosera.
20:42I mean,
20:43so back the medium paces,
20:44by all means,
20:45they're a dime a dozen.
20:46But if there's a good
20:47number three
20:47or a world-class off-if
20:48floating around
20:49on one of those
20:49overcrowded tinnies,
20:50they should be airlifted
20:51from the Timor Sea
20:52straight to the nets.
20:54Oh my God, Maggie.
20:55And before we go,
20:56just to recap
20:57on some of the big events
20:58of the summer, Maggie,
20:59as I still haven't picked up
21:00my winnings from my bookie.
21:01Australia won the Ashes, yes?
21:04Yep.
21:04Yep.
21:04And Warrinka won
21:05the Australian Open.
21:06Great.
21:06And are you able to tell me
21:07who won the women's event?
21:08Nah.
21:10It's all right.
21:11I'll Google it.
21:12It's certainly, Mags,
21:13the journalist asleep
21:14on your desk.
21:15You're not worried
21:15the pile of men's health
21:17magazines he's resting
21:17his head on
21:18might be interpreted
21:19as gay propaganda?
21:20Look, the secret police
21:21had a word to us
21:21about that.
21:22Sean, and they're
21:22letting us off
21:23with a warning.
21:27Thanks, Mags.
21:29Incidentally,
21:30the reaction to Russia's
21:31anti-gay propaganda
21:31legislation has been
21:32cool, to say the least.
21:34So cool, in fact,
21:35that it's threatened
21:35the Winter Olympics itself,
21:37which is ironic,
21:38given you think
21:38coolness would normally
21:39help the Winter Olympics.
21:40As a result,
21:41President Vladimir Putin
21:43issued a statement
21:43intended
21:44to appeal
21:46to pro-homosexual bodies,
21:47and I'm assuming
21:48that picture was
21:49attached to it.
21:50In which he claims,
21:52I know some people
21:53who are gay.
21:55And presumably
21:56he passed their details
21:57on to authorities.
21:58But Mr Putin
21:59went further
21:59and reassured us
22:00of the broad-mindedness
22:02of the Russian people,
22:03saying that millions
22:04of them love Elton John
22:05despite his orientation.
22:08Is that right,
22:09Nikolai Orkik,
22:10President of the
22:11Australian-Russian Alliance?
22:13Sure, we love Elton John.
22:15Despite his orientation?
22:16Whichever way
22:18he is facing.
22:19We'll love him.
22:21Suppose it's side-on
22:22most of the time,
22:22wouldn't it?
22:24I try not to think
22:25about such things.
22:26No, when he's performing,
22:27I mean, you know,
22:28because he's at the piano
22:28most of the time.
22:29Anyway, the point is
22:30that despite the fact
22:31he's gay,
22:32you can still enjoy his music.
22:34Well, it makes it
22:35more difficult.
22:36Well, yes.
22:36For example,
22:37I mean, when I listen
22:38to Nikita,
22:39I like it,
22:40but I'm wondering
22:41to myself,
22:42is he singing
22:42about a pretty girl
22:43or Mr Khrushchev?
22:45I don't want
22:46to tap my foot
22:47if it's about
22:48Mr Khrushchev.
22:49But the fact
22:49that Elton John's gay
22:51doesn't make you
22:51think any less of him?
22:53No, but it does not
22:54make me think
22:54any more about him either.
22:56Well, how often
22:57would you say?
23:00Once, twice a week
23:01is maybe...
23:02His Russian average?
23:05Yeah.
23:06Yeah, I'd be about the same.
23:07Nothing wrong with that,
23:08is there?
23:08And Nikolai Orkiks,
23:09thank you for your time.
23:10Please accept,
23:10with our compliments,
23:12this new DVD release
23:13of Millionaire Hot Seat
23:14The Interviews,
23:15a two-disc set,
23:17nearly four hours
23:18of Eddie Maguire's
23:19conversations
23:19with the contestants.
23:22Here's just a taste
23:23of what you'll get.
23:25What's your speciality?
23:26We do a really big
23:27seafood platter,
23:28which has got
23:29everything on it,
23:31from bugs
23:33to prawns
23:34to fish
23:34to scallops.
23:36Oh, sounds fantastic.
23:37How much?
23:39It's $85.
23:40It'll feed two people.
23:41Two people?
23:41Yeah.
23:42Good stuff, Adam.
23:42All right, mate.
23:43$20,000.
23:44What are you going to do
23:44with that when we come
23:45back after the break?
23:46So, I hope...
23:48Oh, he's gone.
23:49All right.
23:52But Pickle Horb's
23:53off to Erica Betts,
23:54who has put the weight
23:55of his employment ministry
23:56behind the workers
23:57in a bid to save Toyota.
23:58The Japanese car-putting-together
24:00factory was in the Federal Court
24:01attempting to set aside
24:02certain sections
24:03of their enterprise agreement
24:04with their employees,
24:05sections they said
24:06made it economically
24:07unfeasible to stay here.
24:09Mr. Betts wanted the workers
24:10to be able to vote on all this
24:12without the impediment
24:13of a union representing them.
24:14Image consultant
24:15for Erica Betts,
24:16Dramella Burt,
24:17the government must be gutted.
24:19This plan to save jobs
24:20hasn't worked out.
24:21Absolutely.
24:22This was about
24:23standing up for the rights
24:24of the auto-working man.
24:26Both of us wanted
24:27the same thing,
24:28Toyota to stay
24:29in this country,
24:30but we both had to
24:31give something up
24:32to get that.
24:33Paying subsidies,
24:34in our case,
24:35and some of their salary
24:35and working conditions
24:36in their case.
24:37Right.
24:38This is the market
24:39at work without interference
24:40from big government,
24:40isn't it?
24:41Exactly.
24:41We can lead these horses
24:43to the water,
24:44but it's up to them
24:45whether they sink or swim.
24:48Tanta Mount Skrillo,
24:49you're a chef
24:50working in Toyota's
24:51executive boardroom kitchen.
24:53From what you've overheard
24:54while they're eating,
24:55the suits must have been
24:56just as upset about all this
24:57as the government
24:58and the workers.
24:59I guess.
25:00The Abitrust government
25:03feels that by privatising
25:05companies like Toyota,
25:07by pulling taxpayers' money
25:08out and putting it
25:09into something we need,
25:11like royal commissions
25:12into union practices,
25:13we're teaching
25:14high-profile companies
25:15like Toyota
25:16that if they want to
25:17stay in this country
25:18assembling bits of cars
25:20or what have you,
25:21they have to do it
25:22on their own.
25:23Workers too have to learn
25:25to stand on their own
25:26two needs.
25:27The Abitrust government,
25:29despite appearances,
25:30cannot play God.
25:31All we can do
25:32is manifest ourselves
25:34occasionally
25:34when someone's
25:35in the wilderness
25:36and make a few suggestions.
25:39Like Satan.
25:42Man has free will.
25:44Choice comes from competition
25:45and competition means
25:46a healthy market.
25:47Without it,
25:48we'd still be up in the trees
25:49eating tariff-protected bananas.
25:51Not coming up
25:52because Spicks and Specs
25:53want to start on time.
25:55Egypt accuses Al Jazeera
25:57of lacking basic affection
25:59for the home team.
26:01Hey, look,
26:02we can kill dolphins as well,
26:04claim Japanese scientists.
26:07And Justin Bieber fans
26:08show support
26:09in wrong footage mix-up.
26:11Hey!
26:15Well, before we go,
26:16just one more thing
26:17on the question of bias.
26:18Bias is like beauty.
26:20It's in the eye
26:21of the beholder.
26:22Yes, I could lean
26:23further to the right,
26:24but from where you sit,
26:25it seemed like
26:25I was leaning to the left.
26:27It's all about perspective.
26:29To take us out, though,
26:30a tribute to those in Labor
26:31who are no longer with us
26:32as a result of the last election.
26:34They've moved on,
26:35started new chapters
26:35in their lives,
26:37free to be themselves
26:38without having
26:38the image makers
26:39on their back.
26:40Regardless of which side
26:41of the political fence
26:42you kick your ball over,
26:43let's remember them.
26:44Former climate minister
26:46Greg Combe, for example,
26:47now runs a successful
26:48tattoo parlour
26:49in Rockhampton.
26:51Former attorney general
26:52Nicola Rockson
26:53is head of public relations
26:55for a major mining company.
26:57Former minister
26:57for school education
26:59Peter Garrett
26:59is now a remarkable
27:01performance artist.
27:02Who would have thought
27:03the one-time minister
27:04for defence,
27:05Stephen Smith,
27:06could make a successful
27:07transition to
27:08professional swimwear model?
27:10Or that ex-prime minister
27:12Kevin Rudd
27:12would be found busking
27:14every day in Port Augusta?
27:16Less surprisingly,
27:17Labor stalwart Simon Crean
27:19and his wife
27:19go travelling overseas.
27:21While former resources
27:23minister Martin Ferguson
27:24now manages a roadhouse
27:26near Dapto.
27:29If only they could be
27:31more like that
27:31when they held office.
27:33Goodbye.
27:33And isn't it fantastic
27:47ladies and gentlemen
27:48to see that
27:49undergraduate humour
27:50does not change.
27:54This week on ABC2,
27:56A Christmas Island Carol
27:58in which Scott Morrison
27:59is visited by three ghosts
28:01whose questions
28:02he refuses to answer.
28:04He undergoes no transformation
28:05and suffers no interruption
28:07to his sleep.
28:08The ghosts complain
28:09they're more transparent
28:10than he is
28:11and leave.
28:12laugh
28:12...